It’s been over a year since my last episode. I have truly been struggling. In silence. Life has been all over the place and I had no choice but to retreat and get my mind right. While some think that I have been acting funny, being distant, or standoffish, in reality I was barely making it. In this episode, I explain what has been happening with me and what I have learned from it. It’s been a minute but I’m back, baby!
I was motivated to record this episode after watching Jeen-Yuhs on Netflix. I absolutely loved the relationship that Kanye West had with his mother! She was his #1 fan and loudest cheerleader. It was beautiful to watch. I never expected to get online and see people compare Donda to their own mothers and blame their mothers for their failures. Stating they didn’t accomplish their goals because they didn’t have a mother like Donda. They didn’t go to college because their mom was toxic and they blame her. I was extremely disgusted! These were adult women! You don’t have much choice as kids but there is no excuse for an adult to blame another for the way their life turned out. This is why I had to do this episode. I had some stuff to get off my chest.
I was so motivated to get this message out! It’s healing time!! In this episode, I share 5 pivotal things that I had to grasp and fully understand before I was able to see a real difference in my healing process. Listen, digest, and move accordingly!
In this episode, I interview Joycelyn Johnson, a Clinical Counselor from Ohio. In an effort to help others heal from their trauma, Joycelyn left corporate America and, in her 50's, went back to school and opened True Calling Counseling & Consulting Services, LLC. The mother of 2, now adult boys, she shares the challenges she faced trying to raise them without allowing her childhood traumas to interfere. Spirituality, communication, honesty, and laughter are just a few things she shared with me that helped her parent from a safe place. This interview was like talking to someone I've known for a long time! We laughed and shared jokes, but mostly I listened to the many parenting nuggets Joycelyn dropped. You may want to grab a pen and paper because you will need it! Check out Joycelyn's book on Amazon, Decision Making with God in Mind: A process in helping alleviate anxiety and hopelessness. Visit Joycelyn's website: True Calling Counseling & Consulting Services, LLC Email her at www.johnson.joycelyn67@gmail.com We discussed the Feelings Wheel in this episode so Joycelyn provided us with a link to one that she uses. Keep up with the Unmothered + Unbothered podcast IG: @unmotheredunbotheredpodcast Twitter: @podcastpresh
Hey y’all! What y’all been doing?? In this episode, I explain the reason for my dry spell and briefly mention what I have in the works for the future of Unmothered + Unbothered!
This is the last part of the 4-hour interview that I had with Amanda as she told me her story of growing up with a mother in a cult. In episode 71, Amanda describes her mother's final days and shares the things her mother went through during the last few years of her life. In this episode, we discuss the aftermath of growing up with a mother in a cult and why we think the destruction of her mother's soul was more about HER than her mother. I hope you have enjoyed Amanda's story and her transparency. This is a one-of-a-kind account that I am so blessed to have the opportunity to share. I appreciate your patience in getting the episodes released. I have never faced so many issues when it comes to releasing content and I believe that was on purpose. I am a spiritual person and I feel that the attacks on my life happened so that Amanda's story wouldn't get out. But that's just me. Check Amanda out on IG @cambridgestorm Amanda also owns a skateboard company out of LA called Westside Mage. Check it out at westsidemage.com Keep in touch! Email: unmotheredandunbothered@gmail.com IG: @unmotheredunbotheredpodcast Twitter: @podcastpresh Facebook: The Unmothered + Unbothered Podcast
I’m this episode, we find out just how much Amanda’s mom’s life was devastated by the cult. Listen as she describes her mother going from upper class to homeless, all while still following the cult leader. The episode’s ending will leave you in tears. There is also a spiritual component that will give you chills. Enjoy!!
Episode 2 ended with a cliff hanger! Amanda was convinced by the cult leader to accuse her own father of raping her. She knew it wasn't true but decided to go along with it just for the torture to stop. She didn't fully understand the implications of her words and didn't expect what happened next!
This is part 2 and there is a huge bomb dropped at the end of the episode! Part 1 explained Amanda's background and how her mom got connected to the woman that will destroy her and those closest to her. Stay tuned for part 3!!
An orchestrated meeting with a stranger leads Amanda's mom to run through her 401k, buy a condo for the stranger, buy a brand new car for the stranger's daughter and ultimately leave her mom broke and homeless. These are just a few details you will hear in this series. There couldn't be a better episode to jump-start my comeback! In this episode, I interview Amanda about her growing up with a mother that was in a cult until the day she died. This ended up being a 4-hour interview, full of twists and turns that I was not ready for! This is part 1 but I will be dropping the other parts weekly until we are done. Listen carefully! You won't want to miss a thing!
This interview is gritty, raw, and uncut! “MJ” holds nothing back as she tells us the horrific details of her childhood. We are all going to endure some hardships but they are all unique to our situations. Let me be the first to say that I can’t fathom living through what she has. I applaud her for telling her story and I am proud of her for not allowing where she has been to dictate what she has done in life.
This interview was a long time in the making. Imani Brooks-Wheeler has listened to the podcast for about a year at the time of this recording. She silently listened until it was her time to share her story. Well, that time has come! Imani shares her unique story of being able to sympathize with her mother from a very young age. She understood that it was hard for her mother to be there for her during childhood due to her fighting her own personal demons. Imani shows us what it means to be honest AND honorable while discussing your mother wound. She has provided a much needed example for those that feel like what I am creating with my podcast is disrespectful towards our mothers. It is not. Tune-in as we chat about relinquishing control and allowing God to have the final say when it comes to saving our mothers. Laugh with us as we discuss those times where we had it all wrong in life and being thankful for clarity. Finally, hear how Imani currently honors her mother's wishes, demonstrating that honoring your parents takes on many meanings. Two of my favorite Imani Jewels: "You reap what you sow, not where you sow." "Control is protection from a place of pain." Ways to contact Imani: Email: www.meetimani.com Twitter:@meetimanidotcom IG: @meetimanidotcom_ FB: Imani Brooks-Wheeler Check me out on: Email: unmotheredandunbothered@gmail.com IG: @unmotheredunbotheredpodcast
In this episode, I speak with Sabrina about growing up with a mother that was too trusting and carefree. As a result, Sabrina had to grow up before her time and experienced some things that she will never forget. Although her mother has a giving heart, Sabrina often shuffled between her home and her grandmother's home because her mother did not provide a stable place for her to live. She often lost the rent money on extracurricular activities, claiming that God would find a way to provide for them. Her attention was always focused on the men in her life, who were an unwelcomed, unhealthy addition to their lives. Sabrina is now an adult with her own family and her mother has yet to "grow up", which resulted in Sabrina taking her sister into her home at the age of 3. She is now a 19-year-old college student. What was supposed to be a temporary fix until her mother pulled it together, turned into a permanent situation. Sabrina figured this would happen, so her primary goal all through college was to obtain her degree so that she could create a stable home for her sister to grow up in. Losing her hearing at the age of 3, being molested by several men from the age of 5, and holding a secret about her uncle for years so that her cousins would not be without their father, did not stop Sabrina from accomplishing her goals. She made no excuses and still does not. She has learned to create boundaries with her mother without guilt and accepts her for who she is. I am so proud of the woman Sabrina has fought to become and I know you all will be too! Memorable quote: "At 13 I revealed to my mother that my Uncle had had sex with me on several occasions and I didn't want her to tell anyone because I didn't want my cousins to be without a father. So in return, my mother blackmailed him and made him provide me school clothes every year. His wife unknowingly would take me shopping." Email: unmotheredandunbothered@gmail.com IG: unmotheredunbotheredpodcast
There is a natural inclination to run from those things, people, and places that trigger us. This is assuming that we even know what our triggers are because most of us mistake our strong emotional reactions for passion and that is not always the case. We also run from our triggers because they scare us but we learn so much from those triggers. This episode is a quick look at why its important to delve into those triggers and embrace them. IG: @unmotheredunbotheredpodcast Twitter: @podcastpresh Email: unmotheredandunbothered@gmail.com
I know how I used to feel about forgiveness so I never want to force my current opinions on others. I do want to be able to tell my story and encourage others to take a close look at themselves and question whether they truly are "okay" with not forgiving someone. I used to think that I was not harboring ill feelings towards my mother and that forgiving her was not necessary until I began to notice my own toxic behaviors. All I'm asking is that you stay true to yourself when it comes to what you need to feel whole.
This week I have decided to re-publish my very 1st episode, which happens to be the one with the most downloads. Lately, I have been reminded more and more of how important it is to be authentic to who I really am. Not because I want to be phony, but because I am constantly being told that I am too much. This is especially the case in professional settings because I am so passionate about what I do. Being told to relax or to hear coworkers say that I do "too much" is commonplace for me and I work hard every day to ensure I continue to show up, authentically. Dealing with this in the workplace can be tough for any of us for many reasons, but especially because we already battle imposters syndrome. We also fight against feelings of inadequacies because of the toxic relationships we had with our mothers, therefore this extra layer is frustrating. I re-published this episode to help all of us battle these feelings and to serve as the reminder we need to never water ourselves down or apologize for who we are. IG: @unmotheredunbotheredpodcast Twitter: @podcastpresh Email: unmotheredandunbothered@gmail.com
In this episode, I explain what self-loathing is and give specific examples. I also discuss the importance of not allowing other people's insecurities to shape your view of yourself. Self-loathing does not have to be a lifelong battle. You are in control of your own life and there is still hope. IG: @unmotheredunbotheredpodcast Facebook: The Unmothered + Unbothered Podcast Twitter: @podcastpresh Blog: Passionately Precious Email: unmotheredandunbothered@gmail.com Visit my Amazon Author Page to purchase my one-of-a-kind journals!
In this episode, I explain what passive-aggressiveness is and how it plays out in people's actions. I use a personal story as an example to show what it looks like in real-time. I personally am not a fan of passive-aggressive people because I am more confrontational in nature. In my opinion, there is no benefit in holding something that will eventually manifest in another way. Be up-front about it so that we can move on. IG: unmotheredunbotheredpodcast Twitter: @podcastpresh FB: The Unmothered and Unbothered Podcast Email: unmotheredandunbothered@gmail.com
In this episode, I discuss smear campaigns, also known as social media draggings. You know, when someone attempts to embarrass and discredit you online because they need people on their side? They make videos or create outlandish posts aimed at you, hoping to get a rise out of you. Why do people do that? What are their actions REALLY about? Let's talk about it! IG:@unmotheredunbotheredpodcast email: unmotheredandunbothered@gmail.com
Why do we suppress our feelings instead of showing them? Why do we equate certain feelings to being soft, hostile, and inadequate? The answer is simple: we were never taught how to process our feelings. We were taught that suppressing our feelings somehow gives us the upper hand. It does not. What we are feeling will come out one way or another and we will be forced to deal with them. In this episode, I discuss how we can become comfortable with feeling and why it's important. IG: @unmotheredunbotheredpodcast Twitter: @podcastpresh Email:unmotheredandunbothered@gmail.com