Up Yours, Downstairs! A Downton Abbey Podcast

*gong noise* Kelly and Amy are back with a little holiday cheer as they recap Kenneth Branagh's A Midwinter's Tale (or In the Bleak Midwinter to our UK Cousins), a 1995 black-and-white love letter to Shakespeare, the power of live theatre and Joan Collins. They discuss their obsession with Bravo's Below Deck Mediterranean, people making horrible choices, the casual homophobia of the mid-90s, FADGE, eating chili in England,Rita Repulsa, the Burning Man of the East, what the fox says, a church run by organized crime, Sporkle quizzes, a brief history of camp and the real-life inspiration for Hamlet. Want more Amy in your life? Follow the Instagram for her new podcast @thesearejustcards for her take on tarot. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

NEAME willing, Kelly & Amy are proud to present their last Downton Abbey recap ever. All your favorites are here for the movie: Fashion Backwards, Amy Repeats History and a litany of goofy-ass callbacks to episodes past. They worry that this movie might get nominated for a gd Oscar, speculate about Matthew Goode's reaction to being contractually obligated to appear in this enjoyable but ultimately pointless thing, learn about hot gay sex throughout history, rejoice that there's basically no plot for Bates, call Isobel an Isoballer, get weepy at Maggie Smith's final scene as the Dowager Countess and Thomas' trip to the gay bar, ponder the inevitable zombie-laden sequel and lambast Branson one last time for being such a traitor to the cause of Irish independence.Finally, we can't thank you Cousins enough for your many, many years of loyal fandom. You've been with us through the good, the bad and the downright weird (Strumpet City, we're looking at you). There's not a Molesley among you, and we certainly hope you'll be along for whatever projects we cook up next. We won't be far away--you can find us on Twitter, where we often make humor jokes. Our handles are @kellyanneken & @TheCynicalBetch. See you on the internets!LUNCHEON OUT (for reals, though)! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Due to technical difficulties, Kelly & Amy wrap up their coverage of Victoria and make a stunning announcement! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Kelly & Amy talk a lot about Taco Bell in this recap of Victoria S2E3. They also chat Bane, Poortown Lite & Bohemian Rhapsody. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Kelly & Amy overcome texts not going through to bring you the golden episode of Victoria, S2E2. They chat about Tilda Swinton, Dadbert and DODubs dividing up all the arts, the deliciousness of Ernst, poor baby Ada Lovelace, the rudeness of Shakespeare fans, Victorian Shake Weights, Lord M playing The Sims, marriage advice from Lord Byron, and the fact that Vicky doesn't understand metaphors Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Kell & Amy are back and they feel like Slurms Mackenzie! For their recap of Victoria S2E1, they get to sit at the baronet's table! They also go off on a trans tangent, instruct people to take care of the smegma in their own eyes, curse out Lionel Bart, suggest an unusual method of birth control, and encourage everyone to read more novels. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Gather round, wrigglepantses! It's the S1 finale of Victoria and Kelly & Amy are throwing up some nein signs. They discuss the vagaries of digital copyrights, apologize to to Alex Jennings, tell Vicky to stop watching makeup tutorials on YouTube, first-year marital strife, Lehzen's wet nurse requirements, Victorian maternity wear, terrible editorial choices, dueling rulings, and The Duchy Formerly known as Bone Town. Kelly thanks heaven for small mercies, Amy calls the plant police, and everyone agrees that Scarface is the worst. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Kelly & Amy round the corner on S1E7 of Victoria. They're still not having it with 50 Shades of Chef, but otherwise enjoy this exploration of the Industrial Revolution. Kelly has a broom for a hand, Amy is somewhat boring and everyone's gotta find out what happened with Aquaman! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Kelly & Amy realy have the gigles in this recap of Victoria S1E6. They also fire Daisy Goodwin, experience the joys of Cecilia Buggin, explain sentient couch insurance options, dig into morganatic marriages, reveal that you can be horny and a good person at the same time, diss extremely slow southern accents, praise Wellington for living his best life, and eventually remember the name of the band Death Cab for Cutie. Kelly doesn't like to make a false idol of herself to herself, Amy fulfills her dream of being a punchline, and everyone's future selves have a lot to do. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Kelly & Amy speak truth to Medium and call Louisa May Alcott out for her lies in their recap of Victoria S1E5. They also make fun of Kentucky and California, hail Coburg: home of the sinister laugh, take applications for ladle bitches, and smack talk parents. Kelly makes a sweet burn on the privy council, Amy imagines herself as a cokehead, and everyone wants Vicky's creative team to get it together! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

We open at the milk bar as Kelly and Amy recap Victoria S1E4 and really get to know the "enthralling but prickly" Albert. The also delve into the upside of the opiod epidemic, declare England to be the Kentucky of Europe, wonder where servants sign up to get in on the scamming, suggest that Alex Jones should change his name, shame Vicky's fat-shaming, cheer the invention of philately, reminisce about horrifying Sesame Street movies, defend the Windsor uniform, and geek out about the Downton Abbey movie. Kelly has a Dench obsession, Amy has lady-in-waiting blindness, and everyone agrees it could be worse. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Kelly & Amy encounter a real Michigan J. Frog situation in their recap of Victoria S1E3. They also hate on suburban Connecticut and Coburg, speculate about bonnets, decide Vicky's mom is a vampire, discuss the challenges of shaking a stalker who is also the queen, wonder why Sir John speaks in an evil accent 100% of the time, and finally meet Prince Albert! Thanks as always for listening--there's more UYDS goodness over at Patreon! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Kelly & Amy are back at it with a recap of Victoria S1E2. Vicky's mom does not have it going on, Victorian necklines are terrible, the House of Lords is just a lower key version of Mrs. Patmore yelling, the portrait of Jenna Coleman doesn't look like Jenna Coleman, various people are rude on nuns, no one can make a cake without grifting, there's an eternal flame at Buckingham Palace, King Lear is an idiot and Rufus Sewell continues attractive. Kelly says college is a trap, Amy is a Gemini betch, and everybody imagines a world where Vicky has access to emojis. As always, thanks for listening, and don't forget to check out our Patreon for Whalecast and other bonus content! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Rejoice! GLORIANA! Kelly & Amy make their triumphant return to podcasting with this recap of Victoria S1E1. Unfortunately, Amy's computer crashed while she was editing this episode, banishing them to the land of wind and ghosts, so we don't have our usual hilarious show notes. The episode itself survived, so please to enjoy it, because Amy also lost all her progress on Tomb Raider so she is very sad. We'll be posting new episodes weekly, and keep an eye on our Patreon for Whalecast and other bonus content! Hooray, we're doing stuff again! Rejoice! GLORIANA. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

The gaffes have it as Kelly & Amy return to explain why everyone looks like that on The Crown and Call the Midwife. They chat about how trans people are everywhere, Lucille Ball's natural hair color, purported bisexual James Dean, makeups, mainstreaming science fiction, the politics of African American hair, Rose's character on Downton Abbey, miniskirt Oxfordians, Jack Skellington things, the Peacock revolution, Anglican religious orders, and mantyhose. Kelly explains why she shaves off 30% of her hair, Amy wants a makeover, and it's good that we all have fun.  Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Kelly & Amy are finally back from their break with Part 1 of the long-awaited Fashion Backwards/Amy Repeats History episode for The Crown S2 and all of Call the Midwife! Their research is as shallow and unreliable as ever as they discuss how fun it is to say Givenchy when talking about Meghan Markle's wedding dress, which fictional Roz Elton John is most like, shipping Nassoon, getting a star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame, Billy Graham watching the Watchmen, Giant Winston Churchill's closest lady friend, the return of Biarritz, and The Crown's inaccurate approach to history. Kelly forgot about men, Amy doesn't show her midriff, and everyone plans to marry Claire Foy. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

It's a special #sorrynotsorry binge-recap of Call the Midwife S6, featuring episodes 4-8! First, Kelly & Amy catch each other up on Top Chef, The Crown casting news, Kids' Baking Championship, and The Alienist. Then they get down to business, outing Patsy as not a Good Lesbian, declaring that time doesn't exist in Poplar, bemoaning the dying art of houndstooth, grappling with the weirdness of the Nobel Prize, imitating Sister Monica Joan, speculating on the market value of a fresh baby, and marveling at two people who make their livings pulling gross things out of people. Kelly wants a celebrity billionaire to fix her hip, Amy considers wearing more headbands, and everyone continues to not be famous. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Kelly & Amy are looking for lesbians in their discussion of Call the Midwife S6, Episodes 1-3, the show where everyone's pregnant until proven otherwise! They also get into pregnancy tongue twisters, diss medical residents, briefly welcome back Agnes Towler and narrative economy, and get in on Sister Monica Joan's television scam. Kelly still misses Nell Carter, Amy doesn't laugh when Kelly cries for once, and everybody hates Sister Ursula even though they love Harriett Walter. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Kelly conveys her deep dislike of Call the Midwife's S6 Christmas Special to Amy and they flit through a discussion of the once & future Santa of Poplar, a confusing take on apartheid, Sister Nobody's gingerhood, sick burns on Nurse Boring, and cranky old white dudes realizing that people use water for things. Kelly cannot pronounce El Alamein, Amy could be a real cheerful jerk, and SOMEBODY still hasn't read the Phantom Tollbooth (it is AMY). Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Kelly cries a whole bunch as she describes Call the Midwife S5 Episodes 6, 7 & 8 to Amy. She weaves a tale of surrogate screamers, Nonnatus House Yelp reviews, great bangs, the importance of wearing shorts, Bryllcreem, barge people, and unresolved mystery apples. Kelly has a lot of criticisms of Words with Friends, Amy's a walking Magna Carta, and sometimes new-timey people didn't know stuff! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.