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Two former monks, a former startup founder/CEO, and a former equity derivatives trader dive into how to be our best selves, free from the ego. Our egos are the identities we create for ourselves and wish the world to validate, but when we are not seen as we want to be, we feel insecure. This podcast lives at the intersection of leadership and spirituality. It will help you understand your ego and shed light on your inner world so that you can act with greater clarity, compassion, and the freedom to be your best self.
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We are excited to share that we launched a new podcast called "The Upbuild Enneagram Library." It offers a deep and practical exploration of the Enneagram and how it supports the journey from ego to the true self. If you have enjoyed Upbuilding the Self, you will love what you hear on this new podcast. You will hear from the same Upbuild team, Rasanath, Hari, Vipin, and Michael, and it will carry the same heart as the conversations on this feed. We are pausing new episodes here for now so we...
Carl Jung famously stated, "The greatest burden a child must bear is the unlived life of its parents." In this episode, Michael, Rasanath, and Vipin explore the connection between ego and parenting, and how unresolved ambitions, unmet needs, and unconscious identities quietly influence the way we raise our children. These inner dynamics lead us to place invisible expectations on our kids, hoping they will achieve or become what we have not yet faced in ourselves. They discuss how the desire t...
In Part 2, Hari Prasada and Rasanath vividly share what it was like in the heat of the moment distributing books in the streets and subways of New York City. They open up more about pivotal struggles they faced, including feeling humiliation and imposter syndrome, and how letting go in the spirit of service made room for the transformation we all crave deep down. Beyond being a most vital practice of compassion by outreach, book distribution also became a mirror that reflected their concocted...
If you’ve spent time in New York City, or many other cities around the world, you’ve likely seen monks on street corners or in subways, holding out books and trying to spark conversations. This sacred practice is known as Book Distribution. In this episode, Hari Prasada and Rasanath share what it was like to engage in this practice during their early days in a New York City monastery. They tell stories, some funny, some more serious, and speak about the deeper purpose behind Book Distribution...
Each of us is wired with a specific hierarchy of three core instinctual drives, shaping how we move through the world. The Instincts (sometimes referred to as Instinctual Variants) is part of the Enneagram framework and plays a powerful role in how our personalities form. One Instinct tends to dominate and demands most of our attention, a second supports it, while a third gets neglected and becomes a Blind Spot. In this episode, Michael, Hari, and Rasanath unpack the three Instincts—Self-Pres...
Many of us pride ourselves on our ability to compartmentalize. We like to keep our personal and professional lives separate, push aside difficult emotions, and stay productive in the face of whatever comes our way. But what if this “skill” we value so highly is quietly cutting us off from our own hearts? In this episode, Hari Prasada, Rasanath, and Vipin examine why compartmentalization seems helpful but ultimately prevents us from being our best self. They distinguish between presence and su...
Most of us are terrible at feedback. It’s awkward, forced, or worse, completely ineffective. In this episode, Michael, Hari, and Vipin break down why that is and how to fix it. They draw from their own journeys at places like McKinsey, MTV, Goldman Sachs, and Upbuild to show how feedback can be an act of ego…or a gateway to growth, trust, and real connection. They unpack what makes feedback land (or fall flat), why intention matters more than anything else, and how to make feedback human agai...
Why do we blame even when we know it’s harmful? It’s a behavior so woven into our daily experience that most of us hardly notice it, let alone question it. In this episode, Michael and Hari Prasada unpack the inner workings of blame, exploring how it arises from the ego's desire to control and enjoy. They examine its seductive emotional appeal, the false sense of order it provides, and the ways it damages our relationships and cultures. With real-life examples and practical tools, they highli...
Most of us spend the majority of our waking hours at work, yet so many people feel dissatisfied with their jobs. In this episode, Michael, Vipin, and Hari Prasada explore why work so often feels disconnected from meaning and how the ego plays a central role in this struggle. They break down the financial insecurities, self-limiting beliefs, and social pressures that keep us stuck in unfulfilling careers. The conversation also challenges the modern assumption that work should be our primary so...
Today, we’re sharing something a little different. Michael was recently a guest on the Lovelink podcast, hosted by Brooklyn-based therapists Dr. Signe Simon and Dr. Simone Humphrey. Their show has featured many prominent guests, and in this episode, they sit down with Michael to explore the differences between coaching and therapy, Michael’s journey from Goldman Sachs to Upbuild, the tension between ego and success, and the role of spirituality in coaching. We’re excited to share their conver...
Compliments are the currency of love and something we all crave. Yet, paradoxically, somehow receiving a compliment is so hard for most of us. In this episode, Vipin and Hari dive into the dynamics of compliments and our ego's complex response to them. They explore how our longing for validation often leads us to reject the very recognition we seek. Through personal anecdotes and philosophical insights, they unpack the hidden impact on our self-perception and relationships as we struggle with...
Michael, Rasanath, and Hari Prasada dive into guilt—an emotion we all encounter but often misunderstand. Through engaging examples—from battling inner critics to avoiding plastic bottles—they reveal how guilt is a reflection of our conscience, the interplay between guilt and shame, and why it’s essential to understand what guilt is truly pointing to. They unpack common reactions to guilt—suppressing, avoiding, or wallowing—and guide you on how to channel this feeling into an opportunity for p...
Moral superiority is a trap that almost everyone falls into, often without realizing it. In this episode, Michael, Hari Prasada, and Rasanath unpack the ways in which the ego drives us to feel “better” than others—even in the name of values and virtue. They share personal anecdotes and insights to explore how moral superiority can mask unresolved emotions, hinder relationships, and alienate us from others. With vulnerability and depth, they reveal how to distinguish genuine values from ego-dr...
One-on-one meetings are an unavoidable cornerstone of work life, yet many of us find it challenging to lead or engage in them effectively. In this episode, Michael, Rasanath, and Vipin share insights on transforming these meetings from transactional encounters into opportunities for authentic connection and enhanced productivity. They examine the transformative role of psychological safety and ego-awareness, showing how these elements lay the groundwork for strong, effective workplace relatio...
My ego drives me to achieve, and if I were to give up my ego, wouldn't I also be giving up that drive and all my future successes? With this prompt as the starting point, Vipin, Rasanath, and Michael dive into the nuanced relationship between the ego and ambition, exploring whether our quest for success is truly driven by the ego – or if there's a deeper force at play. Drawing on timeless teachings from Eastern wisdom, particularly the Bhagavad-gita, the hosts examine how the ego shapes our...
Time is the most valuable resource in the world. And yet, most of us are not so great at managing it. In this episode, Michael, Hari and Vipin delve into the relationship between time management and the ego. They share the principles on which they base their philosophies for time management, along with tips and tricks for productivity. They emphasize how effective time management is deeply tied to understanding one's core values and how the ultimate goal of these practices is to facilitate th...
It’s November 2010 on the Goldman Sachs trading floor in New York City. Just two years removed from the depths of the Global Financial Crisis, but you would never know it. The stock market has nearly doubled in the last 18 months, the Federal Reserve has freshly announced its second round of Quantitative Easing, and it feels like one big party on Wall Street. [from the opening paragraph of the article, Trading Derivatives and the Shame-Based Fear of Being Ordinary]. In this episode, Ha...
As Rasanath shares in this episode, “Walking through our shame is the deepest experience of authenticity.” But what does it really mean to “walk through our shame” and how does one actually do that? In this episode, Michael and Rasanath do a deep dive into the emotion of shame and how it is impacting all of our lives in both big and subtle ways. They explore the nature of shame, its origins, and its complex role in our daily lives and relationships. They shed light on how shame fuels our acti...
Do you like being held accountable? Do you like holding others accountable? In this episode, Vipin, Hari Prasada, and Rasanath delve into different aspects of accountability. They explore the often anxiety-inducing way that accountability is viewed, how it can be misapplied, what makes for a more empowering approach, and the need for partnership in the process. This episode will help increase your desire for accountability and counter the strong tendency toward its avoidance. Links The...
Whether we are writing birthday cards, telling somebody how we feel about them, or giving a speech at a funeral, most of us find ourselves trying to say the “right” thing,” rather than what we actually feel. In this episode, Michael, Hari Prasada, and Rasanath discuss the importance of genuinely connecting with our emotions, the cost of saying the right things without feeling them, and the tendency to prioritize efficiency over authentic emotional expression. Through personal anecdotes and pr...
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