WHEN DATING HURTS

This is part one of a two-part story with Sarah. This story comes with warnings. There are of graphic descriptions of violence, use of adult language, and other disturbing depictions. So, please proceed carefully. Sarah lives in the Midwest. From the time she was young, she was denied attention from her parents. Her mother was alcoholic. Her father not only used drugs, he manufactured them. Sarah will tell us about this and a lot more. Life was not kind to Sarah as she advanced through high school and college. She was always generous to everyone, even when she should have walked away from them. Especially her boyfriends. You will hear about Johnnie. He was her savior at first but then her abuser. For six years. Watch for the warning signs as you listen to Sarah. The isolation from friends, the speeded it up parts of the relationship, the shaming and the misguided blaming. It is on full display her in part one. Bill Mitchell NOTE: If you are a survivor and want to share your story of abuse on the WHEN DATING HURTS Podcast, please email me: BillMitchell@WhenDatingHurts.com The WHEN DATING HURTS book (in paperback, eBook, and audiobook) can be found on Amazon. HELPFUL RESOURCES: • National Domestic Violence Hotline – The Hotline.org – Call 800-799-SAFE • LoveIsRespect – Call 866-331-9474 • RAINN (Rape Abuse Incest National Network) – RAINN.org – Call 800-656-4673 • SUICIDE HELPLINE: Call 988 Thank you for listening to our WHEN DATING HURTS podcast, Bill Mitchell WhenDatingHurts.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This is part two of a two-part story with Katie. Be sure you are ready to hear this story. As it proceeds, you will be hearing about horribly abusive physical violence and actual torture... Trigger warnings need to be expressed due to both the content and graphic descriptions. Katie's Story When Katie met Mark, he appeared as this attractive guy playing amazing bass fiddle in a rockabilly band. She loved his music and soon felt he was the one. As soon as they were introduced, they were an item from the start. Things happened fast as Mark and Katie seemed to click in all manner of speaking. But, as time wore on, she found herself to be his total support person, seeing to it that his career came first. She was doing everything imaginable to pay the bills and make ends meet. His sole purpose was to find stardom making his music. Mixed into the relationship came the warning signs that were missed when any person is not educated about them. The isolation. The jealousies. The various kinds of emotional abuse that creep in. And then came physical abuse, which was just horrible. Katie is fortunate to be alive today. Had Mark finished what he intended, he would have murdered her. This story is not for everyone. Be careful with those you share this story. Bill Mitchell NOTE: If you are a survivor and want to share your story of abuse on the WHEN DATING HURTS Podcast, please email me: BillMitchell@WhenDatingHurts.com The WHEN DATING HURTS book (in paperback, eBook, and audiobook) can be found on Amazon. HELPFUL RESOURCES: • National Domestic Violence Hotline – The Hotline.org – Call 800-799-SAFE • LoveIsRespect – Call 866-331-9474 • RAINN (Rape Abuse Incest National Network) – RAINN.org – Call 800-656-4673 • SUICIDE HELPLINE: Call 988 Thank you for listening to our WHEN DATING HURTS podcast, Bill Mitchell WhenDatingHurts.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This is part one of a two-part story with Katie. Be sure you are ready to hear this story. As it proceeds, you will be hearing about horribly abusive physical violence and actual torture... Trigger warnings need to be expressed due to both the content and graphic descriptions. Katie's Story When Katie met Mark, he appeared as this attractive guy playing amazing bass fiddle in a rockabilly band. She loved his music and soon felt he was the one. As soon as they were introduced, they were an item from the start. Things happened fast as Mark and Katie seemed to click in all manner of speaking. But, as time wore on, she found herself to be his total support person, seeing to it that his career came first. She was doing everything imaginable to pay the bills and make ends meet. His sole purpose was to find stardom making his music. Mixed into the relationship came the warning signs that were missed when any person is not educated about them. The isolation. The jealousies. The various kinds of emotional abuse that creep in. And then came physical abuse, which was just horrible. Katie is fortunate to be alive today. Had Mark finished what he intended, he would have murdered her. This story is not for everyone. Be careful with those you share this story. Bill Mitchell NOTE: If you are a survivor and want to share your story of abuse on the WHEN DATING HURTS Podcast, please email me: BillMitchell@WhenDatingHurts.com The WHEN DATING HURTS book (in paperback, eBook, and audiobook) can be found on Amazon. HELPFUL RESOURCES: • National Domestic Violence Hotline – The Hotline.org – Call 800-799-SAFE • LoveIsRespect – Call 866-331-9474 • RAINN (Rape Abuse Incest National Network) – RAINN.org – Call 800-656-4673 • SUICIDE HELPLINE: Call 988 Thank you for listening to our WHEN DATING HURTS podcast, Bill Mitchell WhenDatingHurts.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This is part three of a three-part story with Paula. Our interview with Paula is strong and descriptive. You will immediately notice Paula's voice has been distorted so she could speak freely and cannot be recognized. We apologize that some parts may be difficult to understand. At the time of our interview, Paula was speaking from Melbourne, Australia. We spoke for 2 1/2 hours which has been edited into three parts of about 1/2 hour apiece. This will take you from the time she met John even though she knew a relationship with him would be problematic with his alcoholism. They married and had two children together. His behavior became worse. She did all she could to save the marriage, but, eventually, she had to flee with her two children. The story is challenging to listen to, but 1000 times more difficult to be the one who experienced it. We learn from survivors like Paula to trust our instincts, get out of unhealthy relationships early, take nothing for granted, and learn the warning signs of a potentially dangerous relationship. We appreciate this story that Paula brought to us on the WHEN DATING HURTS podcast. Bill Mitchell NOTE: If you are a survivor and want to share your story of abuse on the WHEN DATING HURTS Podcast, please email me: BillMitchell@WhenDatingHurts.com The WHEN DATING HURTS book (in paperback, eBook, and audiobook) can be found on Amazon. HELPFUL RESOURCES: National Domestic Violence Hotline – The Hotline.org – Call 800-799-SAFE LoveIsRespect – Call 866-331-9474 RAINN (Rape Abuse Incest National Network) – RAINN.org – Call 800-656-4673 SUICIDE HELPLINE: Call 988 Thank you for listening to our WHEN DATING HURTS podcast, Bill Mitchell WhenDatingHurts.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This is part two of three parts with Paula. Our interview with Paula is strong and descriptive. You will immediately notice Paula's voice has been distorted so she could speak freely and cannot be recognized. We apologize that some parts may be difficult to understand. At the time of our interview, Paula was speaking from Melbourne, Australia. We spoke for 2 1/2 hours which has been edited into three parts of about 1/2 hour apiece. This will take you from the time she met John even though she knew a relationship with him would be problematic with his alcoholism. They married and had two children together. His behavior became worse. She did all she could to save the marriage, but, eventually, she had to flee with her two children. The story is challenging to listen to, but 1000 times more difficult to be the one who experienced it. We learn from survivors like Paula to trust our instincts, get out of unhealthy relationships early, take nothing for granted, and learn the warning signs of a potentially dangerous relationship. We appreciate this story that Paula brought to us on the WHEN DATING HURTS podcast. Bill Mitchell NOTE: If you are a survivor and want to share your story of abuse on the WHEN DATING HURTS Podcast, please email me: BillMitchell@WhenDatingHurts.com The WHEN DATING HURTS book (in paperback, eBook, and audiobook) can be found on Amazon. HELPFUL RESOURCES: National Domestic Violence Hotline – The Hotline.org – Call 800-799-SAFE LoveIsRespect – Call 866-331-9474 RAINN (Rape Abuse Incest National Network) – RAINN.org – Call 800-656-4673 SUICIDE HELPLINE: Call 988 Thank you for listening to our WHEN DATING HURTS podcast, Bill Mitchell WhenDatingHurts.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This is part one of three parts with Paula. Our interview with Paula is strong and descriptive. You will immediately notice Paula's voice has been distorted so she could speak freely and cannot be recognized. We apologize that some parts may be difficult to understand. At the time of our interview, Paula was speaking from Melbourne, Australia. We spoke for 2 1/2 hours which has been edited into three parts of about 1/2 hour apiece. This will take you from the time she met John even though she knew a relationship with him would be problematic with his alcoholism. They married and had two children together. His behavior became worse. She did all she could to save the marriage, but, eventually, she had to flee with her two children. The story is challenging to listen to, but 1000 times more difficult to be the one who experienced it. We learn from survivors like Paula to trust our instincts, get out of unhealthy relationships early, take nothing for granted, and learn the warning signs of a potentially dangerous relationship. We appreciate this story that Paula brought to us on the WHEN DATING HURTS podcast. Bill Mitchell NOTE: If you are a survivor and want to share your story of abuse on the WHEN DATING HURTS Podcast, please email me: BillMitchell@WhenDatingHurts.com The WHEN DATING HURTS book (in paperback, eBook, and audiobook) can be found on Amazon. HELPFUL RESOURCES: National Domestic Violence Hotline – The Hotline.org – Call 800-799-SAFE LoveIsRespect – Call 866-331-9474 RAINN (Rape Abuse Incest National Network) – RAINN.org – Call 800-656-4673 SUICIDE HELPLINE: Call 988 Thank you for listening to our WHEN DATING HURTS podcast, Bill Mitchell WhenDatingHurts.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This is part two of two parts with Molly. Growing up, Molly's mother had little interest in her. So living at home was rarely a positive experience. Molly felt used by her mother when it benefitted her mother's constant need to put on a show outside of the home. In her 20s, she met John. He was handsome, he was fun, and he seemed to be bringing Molly the interest and love she never saw at home. She felt secure with John. They had children. Little by little, the real John emerged. Besides his condescending attitude, and John's emotional abuse, he viciously attacked her. Molly had to balance his serial domestic violence with raising her two children. She went about working hard enough and saving enough so she could break free when an escape was possible. Molly is a survivor. Listen to how she made that happen. NOTE: If you are a survivor and want to share your story of abuse on the WHEN DATING HURTS Podcast, please email me: BillMitchell@WhenDatingHurts.com The WHEN DATING HURTS book (in paperback, eBook, and audiobook) can be found on Amazon. HELPFUL RESOURCES: National Domestic Violence Hotline – The Hotline.org – Call 800-799-SAFE LoveIsRespect – Call 866-331-9474 RAINN (Rape Abuse Incest National Network) – RAINN.org – Call 800-656-4673 SUICIDE HELPLINE: Call 988 Thank you for listening to our WHEN DATING HURTS podcast, Bill Mitchell WhenDatingHurts.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This is part one of two parts with Molly. Growing up, Molly's mother had little interest in her. So living at home was rarely a positive experience. Molly felt used by her mother when it benefitted her mother's constant need to put on a show outside of the home. In her 20s, she met John. He was handsome, he was fun, and he seemed to be bringing Molly the interest and love she never saw at home. She felt secure with John. They had children. Little by little, the real John emerged. Besides his condescending attitude, and John's emotional abuse, he viciously attacked her. Molly had to balance his serial domestic violence with raising her two children. She went about working hard enough and saving enough so she could break free when an escape was possible. Molly is a survivor. Listen to how she made that happen. NOTE: If you are a survivor and want to share your story of abuse on the WHEN DATING HURTS Podcast, please email me: BillMitchell@WhenDatingHurts.com The WHEN DATING HURTS book (in paperback, eBook, and audiobook) can be found on Amazon. HELPFUL RESOURCES: National Domestic Violence Hotline – The Hotline.org – Call 800-799-SAFE LoveIsRespect – Call 866-331-9474 RAINN (Rape Abuse Incest National Network) – RAINN.org – Call 800-656-4673 SUICIDE HELPLINE: Call 988 Thank you for listening to our WHEN DATING HURTS podcast, Bill Mitchell WhenDatingHurts.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This episode was created for educational and dramatic purposes only. Some of the voices are computer generated. What if Kristin Mitchell could speak to us today? That is what this episode explores. Kristin would tell us what she didn't know about dating abuse and domestic violence in the days leading up to the moment she was violently murdered by her ex-boyfriend in June 2005. She would tell us what she has learned (too late) since those dark days after her death nearly 20 years ago. This is a short but quite powerful episode on the WHEN DATING HURTS Podcast. The voice you will hear on this WHEN DATING HURTS Podcast episode was created by a computer program. It is not a real person's voice. Bill NOTE: If you are a survivor and want to share your story of abuse on the WHEN DATING HURTS Podcast, please email me: BillMitchell@WhenDatingHurts.com The WHEN DATING HURTS book (paperback, eBook, and audiobook) can only be found on Amazon. HELPFUL RESOURCES: National Domestic Violence Hotline – The Hotline.org – Call 800-799-SAFE LoveIsRespect – Call 866-331-9474 RAINN (Rape Abuse Incest National Network) – RAINN.org – Call 800-656-4673 SUICIDE HELPLINE: Call 988 Thank you for listening to our WHEN DATING HURTS podcast, Bill Mitchell WhenDatingHurts.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This is part two of a two-part interview. My interview with Anna, who lives in Perth, Australia, had been in the works for nearly one year. But what motivated us to making our interview now was a case against her ex-partner which finally landed in a court room. Our interview was made only days after she testified as a witness against this serially abusive and violent man. Anna will also tell us about other abusive relationships. She found herself in. This will shine a bright light on many warning signs so you might want to take notes. This is Anna's story. NOTE: If you are a survivor and want to share your story of abuse on the WHEN DATING HURTS Podcast, please email me: BillMitchell@WhenDatingHurts.com The WHEN DATING HURTS book (paperback, eBook, and audiobook) can only be found on Amazon. HELPFUL RESOURCES: National Domestic Violence Hotline – The Hotline.org – Call 800-799-SAFE LoveIsRespect – Call 866-331-9474 RAINN (Rape Abuse Incest National Network) – RAINN.org – Call 800-656-4673 SUICIDE HELPLINE: Call 988 Thank you for listening to our WHEN DATING HURTS podcast, Bill Mitchell WhenDatingHurts.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This is part one of a two-part interview. My interview with Anna, who lives in Perth, Australia, had been in the works for nearly one year. But what motivated us to making our interview now was a case against her ex-partner which finally landed in a court room. Our interview was made only days after she testified as a witness against this serially abusive and violent man. Anna will also tell us about other abusive relationships. She found herself in. This will shine a bright light on many warning signs so you might want to take notes. This is Anna's story. NOTE: If you are a survivor and want to share your story of abuse on the WHEN DATING HURTS Podcast, please email me: BillMitchell@WhenDatingHurts.com The WHEN DATING HURTS book (paperback, eBook, and audiobook) can only be found on Amazon. HELPFUL RESOURCES: National Domestic Violence Hotline – The Hotline.org – Call 800-799-SAFE LoveIsRespect – Call 866-331-9474 RAINN (Rape Abuse Incest National Network) – RAINN.org – Call 800-656-4673 SUICIDE HELPLINE: Call 988 Thank you for listening to our WHEN DATING HURTS podcast, Bill Mitchell WhenDatingHurts.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

There is little chance we will ever get an abuser to join us on this podcast and do a recorded interview. But, we have heard enough about the minds of abusers to have insights into what we would hear. It would be the justification of actions taken purely to gain control over another person. It would be a relentless pushback. That is what you will find in this episode. This episode, our fourth in this series, comes with content and trigger warnings: Domestic abuse, domestic violence, and graphic violence. The voice you will hear on this WHEN DATING HURTS Podcast episode was created by a computer program. It is not a real person's voice. The words spoken are a composite of beliefs and concepts expressed by dating and domestic abusers found within articles and interviews. They have been collected over nearly two decades. They have been reassembled as complete ideas and thoughts.   This episode illustrates how abusers portray themselves as victims. There is not one "portrait" that fits all abusers, of course, but many never take ownership of their words or actions, and they justify their abusive and destructive behavior.   NOTE: If you are a survivor and want to share your story of abuse on the WHEN DATING HURTS Podcast, please email me: BillMitchell@WhenDatingHurts.com The WHEN DATING HURTS book (paperback, eBook, and audiobook) can only be found on Amazon. HELPFUL RESOURCES: National Domestic Violence Hotline – The Hotline.org – Call 800-799-SAFE LoveIsRespect – Call 866-331-9474 RAINN (Rape Abuse Incest National Network) – RAINN.org – Call 800-656-4673 SUICIDE HELPLINE: Call 988 Thank you for listening to our WHEN DATING HURTS podcast, Bill Mitchell WhenDatingHurts.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Lola Reid Allin is such an amazing woman. Growing up, her father discouraged her from becoming anything more than a woman who followed a very stereotypical lifestyle in support of men. Lola fell in love with the idea of becoming a pilot. Her father had the same desire when he was a young man, but did not achieve it. Lola's father didn't handle it well when she succeeded where he had not. Her determination to follow her dreams also crossed over into her sometimes abusive marriage to a man named Paul. She will tell us about that in this episode. So, let's listen to Lola Reid Allin, who just published her new book and titled, "Highway to the Sky: "An Aviators Journey". Here is Lola's website. This is her Facebook page. Lola's email address: lola@lolareidallin.com. NOTE: If you are a survivor and want to share your story of abuse on the WHEN DATING HURTS Podcast, please email me: BillMitchell@WhenDatingHurts.com The WHEN DATING HURTS book (paperback, eBook, and audiobook) can only be found on Amazon. HELPFUL RESOURCES: National Domestic Violence Hotline – The Hotline.org – Call 800-799-SAFE LoveIsRespect – Call 866-331-9474 RAINN (Rape Abuse Incest National Network) – RAINN.org – Call 800-656-4673 SUICIDE HELPLINE: Call 988 Thank you for listening to our WHEN DATING HURTS podcast, Bill Mitchell WhenDatingHurts.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Our guest is Dr. Diana Ponsky MD FACS, a double board certified in facial plastic and head and neck surgery, carrying certification from the American Board of Facial Plastic and Reconstructive Surgery and the American Board of Otolaryngology. She has over 18+ years of experience in cosmetic surgery of the face. Dr. Ponsky has become drawn to humanitarian work. She’s performed free procedures for Face-to-Face — a charitable arm of the American Academy of Facial Plastic and Reconstructive Surgery — in which she helped survivors of domestic abuse recover from facial injury. She will speak about this in our interview. In the past seven years, Diana has been able to grow her practice into one of the most successful in the area, serving upwards of 300 patients a year. In tandem with her work-life balance goals, the surgeon finds time to give back to her community through charitable healthcare and lessons she teaches at local high schools and Case Western Reserve University.  “I've had mentors and role models who’ve shown me that persistence and hard work are always admired," Dr. Ponsky says. "I want to continue to pay that forward by helping others and being an example to others."   It was a true honor to speak with Dr. Diana Ponsky. NOTE: If you are a survivor and want to share your story of abuse on the WHEN DATING HURTS Podcast, please email me: BillMitchell@WhenDatingHurts.com The WHEN DATING HURTS book (paperback, eBook, and audiobook) can only be found on Amazon. HELPFUL RESOURCES: National Domestic Violence Hotline – The Hotline.org – Call 800-799-SAFE LoveIsRespect – Call 866-331-9474 RAINN (Rape Abuse Incest National Network) – RAINN.org – Call 800-656-4673 SUICIDE HELPLINE: Call 988 Thank you for listening to our WHEN DATING HURTS podcast, Bill Mitchell WhenDatingHurts.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

PART 3 Barbra Walker’s story takes time to tell. For that reason, it is presented to you in three parts. This is part three.  Trigger Warnings!!! Barbra Walker’s story of abuse comes with serious trigger warnings about its content and descriptions. There is much to be learned from listening to her telling of what happened, but it contains potentially distressing material. Ms. Walker had never told her entire story at one time until she contacted the WHEN DATING HURTS Podcast and trusted us to bring it to you from beginning to end. Like so many dating and domestic violence narratives on this podcast, the story begins with dating someone who is quite appealing. These are some glimpses of what would later be identified as red flags, but in those early days these are overlooked, and the relationship continued. Barbra Walker’s ability to detail every facet of all that happened is remarkable. And our opinion of her as a survivor, a loving mother, and a loyal wife holds our highest admiration. It was an honor to meet her and carry her story forward to you.  Barbra’s deepest wish: that her story will inform those who are at any stage in being lowered into the nightmare of dating and domestic violence. She hopes they will soon find ways out as she did—but with much less trauma. NOTE: If you are a survivor and want to share your story of abuse on the WHEN DATING HURTS Podcast, please email me: BillMitchell@WhenDatingHurts.com The WHEN DATING HURTS book (paperback, eBook, and audiobook) can only be found on Amazon. HELPFUL RESOURCES: National Domestic Violence Hotline – The Hotline.org – Call 800-799-SAFE LoveIsRespect – Call 866-331-9474 RAINN (Rape Abuse Incest National Network) – RAINN.org – Call 800-656-4673 SUICIDE HELPLINE: Call 988 Thank you for listening to our WHEN DATING HURTS podcast, Bill Mitchell WhenDatingHurts.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices