Claim OwnershipWTF is AuDHD?
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© Ellie & Paige Harwood
Description
Ellie (32) and Paige (30) are sisters who were diagnosed late with autism and ADHD (AuDHD). However, the way it manifests in them doesn't look the same. With AuDHD only becoming an official diagnosis in 2013, the lack of research not only resulted in late diagnosis and mental health issues, but also left Ellie and Paige feeling alone and confused. This podcast is a space where Ellie and Paige share their experiences, in the hopes it will help others. It explores the vast manifestations of neurodivergence and emphasises how even sisters with the same condition can look completely different.
// Diagnosed late, here to educate // INSTAGRAM, TIKTOK, YOUTUBE @wtfisaudhdpodcast
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50 Episodes
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Sarah (social worker, ADHD, OCD, PMDD and autistic) is back for more! In this episode we shift into language, identity, and the inner world of neurodivergence. Sarah reflects on her childhood as an undiagnosed AuDHDer, the anxiety that masked her ADHD, and elaborates on the different ways boys vs girls are treated.We explore dialectical thinking - the simple but powerful practice of using “and” instead of “but” - and why it’s especially transformative for neurodivergent people whose needs often conflict. Sarah also shares how her lived experience shapes her work in perinatal social work, and why finding community and personal joy isn’t really optional for neurodivergent people - it’s survival.Thanks for joining us this year! We really appreciate you. We'll be back Jan 20.Follow Sarah @neurodialecticalLinktree - find our online communities and register your interest for 1:1 sessions with Ellie in 2026 Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
We're super excited to be joined by neurodivergent parent and social worker Sarah (@neurodialectical on Instagram), who shares how becoming a parent was the catalyst for her diagnoses - including autism, ADHD, OCD, PTSD, and PMDD. We talk candidly about the sensory reality of parenting when your needs directly clash with your child’s, the rage and grief no one prepares you for, and why planning life around hormonal cycles can be helpful (if you can). Sarah also shares how she’s unlearning traditional parenting norms, prioritising autonomy over compliance, and raising her son in ways that protect his nervous system - even when it looks "unconventional". Sarah is super honest, raw and validating for any neurodivergent parent who’s ever felt overwhelmed, ashamed, or like they’re doing it “wrong.”Follow Sarah @neurodialecticalLINKTREE - join our Reddit, Discord and express interest in 1:1 sessions with Ellie in 2026 Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
1In this episode, Ellie's running on lack of sleep thanks to the Formula One race overnight, so we're chatting about sleep! We dig into why sleep is such a challenge for neurodivergent brains - from revenge bedtime procrastination to sensory overload to busy brains and chronic sleep debt. We share our own experiences and how lack of rest affects everything from emotion regulation to basic functioning. Join our Discord and Reddit! Links in our LinktreeInterested in a 1:1 session with Ellie in 2026? Register your interest ellieonthetelly.com Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Content warning: in this episode we lightly touch on abuse, manipulation and sexual assault - between 37 - 40mins - proceed with care.In this episode we dive into one of the biggest neurodivergent struggles: boundaries. Why do so many AuDHD people become chronic people-pleasers? Why do we say yes when every part of our body is screaming no? Why do we only realise afterwards how we're actually feeling? And why does setting even the smallest boundary feel like we’re letting someone down?We chat about the link between neurodivergence and people pleasing, how RSD, masking and social survival instincts shape our boundaries (or lack thereof) and we candidly discuss how we're personally going with improving our boundaries.Want a 1:1 mentoring chat with Ellie? Express your interest here: ellieonthetelly.comJoin our Discord and Reddit - links in our Linktree Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
This week we’re joined by Bayley Garnham - diagnosed dyspraxic and neuro-affirming Personal Trainer! Bayley shares his diagnosis journey, what dyspraxia can actually look like day-to-day, how dyspraxia affected him growing up and what inspired him into personal training.We chat about why exercise can vary depending on biological sex, why so many of us need movement but struggle to start, and how PTs can better support neurodivergent clients. Bayley also breaks down how he trains people with compassion, flexibility and zero shame.If you’ve ever felt intimidated by exercise, disconnected from your body, or you're unsure where to begin, this episode might be for you!Follow Bayley on Instagram (@bayleygarnham) or get in touch via email bayleygarnham@gmail.com Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
In this episode, we unpack the perfectionism cage - the invisible set of rules we build for ourselves as AuDHDers in an attempt to survive, succeed, or simply avoid judgement. We talk about how perfectionism showed up in our childhoods, how it morphs into procrastination and paralysis, and why so many of us cling to impossible standards even when they burn us out.JOIN OUR DISCORD Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
It’s not personal, we just literally forgot you existed. This week we dive into the concept of object permanence. We chat about why AuDHDers struggle to remember things, hobbies, goals and people once they’re out of sight, how it impacts friendships and daily life, and what we’ve learned about how to manage it.Vote for us for Listener's Choice at the NZ Podcast awards (if you want) HERESOCIAL @wtfisaudhdpodcastLINKTREE Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
For so many neurodivergent people, friendships can feel confusing, draining, or just out of reach. In this episode we open up about growing up lonely, the ache of wanting connection, and how RSD can destablise you from reality. We touch on a listener submission - should you tell your friends about your diagnosis? We also share how our dogs have helped us with being at peace in our own company and have also helped with our general motivation!Vote for us at the NZ Podcast Awards for Listener's Choice! VOTE HERE. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Paige is back! If you've always secretly found travelling stressful and wondered why it looks so fun for everyone else - we see you. In this episode, we’re unpacking why holidays and travel can feel so overwhelming as a neurodivergent person. Freshly off the plane, Paige reflects on her recent trip and what accomodations she made for herself. We talk about why AuDHDers find travelling stressful and also reflect on some recent listener Reddit posts about perimenopause.VOTE FOR US (if you want) at the NZ PODCAST AWARDS for Listener's Choice! VOTE HERE.SOCIAL @wtfisaudhdpodcastLinktree Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
What about the after part of ADHD diagnosis? Bree Tomasel joins us for a follow up chat about her diagnosis experience and feelings. Bree shares her experience with the weird limbo of diagnosis imposter syndrome, the long road to getting meds right (four years, no joke), and she shares advice and things she's learned that have helped her.Paige is back next week! Also, if you'd like to vote our podcast for Listener's Choice at the NZ Podcast Awards, you can do that here.SOCIAL @wtfisaudhdpodcast // LinktreeFollow @breetomasel Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
The hilarious and wildly talented Bree Tomasel - broadcaster, creator, and late-diagnosed ADHDer - joins Ellie for a candid chat. Bree opens up about a lifetime of masking - not just her ADHD, but her anxiety and even her sexuality - and how she shaped her own career, while sometimes feeling 'dumb'. We hear about what she was like as an undiagnosed child and some of the early signs she now sees in hindsight. We talk about imposter syndrome, perfectionism, and how Bree channels her ADHD energy into sport and humour. Plus, Bree will be back next week for another chat where we debrief on life after diagnosis, self-acceptance, and what’s changed since learning she’s neurodivergent.Follow Bree: Instagram SOCIAL @wtfisaudhdpodcast LINKTREE Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Happy ADHD Awareness Month! Ellie is back with her partner Sam for another candid chat about life with ADHD, and life as an neurodivergent couple. This week we explore what we wish people knew about ADHD, why feedback is so crucial for us as ADHDers, and we share the ways we've learned to split responsibilities at home. We also talk honestly about why ADHDers can be so tough on themselves and answer some more of your listener questions. SOCIAL @wtfisaudhdpodcastWatch on YouTubeLINKTREE Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
In this week’s episode, Ellie's ADHD partner Sam is back to share the story of their relationship - navigating conflict, emotional regulation, and yes, how they deal with intimacy. From being good friends and retrospectively noticing early signs of undiagnosed ADHD and AuDHD to how they’ve learned to grow together, they open up and celebrate the strengths that neurodivergence brings into their lives. It’s a candid and vulnerable look at what it means for Ellie and Sam to love and live as an ND couple, in the hopes of helping others feel seen when it comes to the trials and tribulations of finding love and a partnership.Join our private Reddit community!SOCIAL @wtfisaudhdpodcast Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
In this episode Paige is on holiday, so Ellie sits down with her partner Sam to talk about his journey with late-diagnosed ADHD. From childhood challenges and misunderstood behaviours, to the coping mechanisms he developed along the way, to the huge relief (and grief) of finally getting a diagnosis - we dig into what life looked like before and after. Sam shares how he found his career as a young social media star, why it helped him process his emotions pre-diagnosis and he opens up about struggling with emotional regulation. Next week we’ll chat with Sam again, and dive into what it’s like to navigate a relationship together as two neurodivergent people.SOCIAL @wtfisaudhdpodcastFollow Sam - @samjrmorgan (Instagram) Join our Linktree! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Just like last episode, we're going through a common autism screener (Autism Quotient) and discussing the limitations of these questions (especially if you might be AuDHD). While tools like this can be a helpful first step, they also have major blind spots - especially around masking, nuance, and gender differences. We share the answers we gave in our actual screeners from a few years back and disuss why lived experience needs to be an important part of neurodevelopmental assessments. SOCIAL @wtfisaudhdpodcastLinktree Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
If you’ve ever taken an ADHD screener and thought, “Well, that didn’t feel accurate…” you’re not alone! In this episode, we walk through the 18 questions you're generally asked in New Zealand, to work out whether you are "worth" further assessment for ADHD. We go through the screener, answer them as AuDHDers, and show why screeners don't always capture the full picture - especially if you’ve spent years masking, you've got trauma or other diagnoses. There are so many limitations to these screeners, and we hope this episode gives you more confidence in your interpretation of them.Here's the link to the screener we are referencing.SOCIAL @wtfisaudhdpodcastJoin our private Reddit community - link in our LINKTREEWatch on YouTube Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Meet our ADHD Dad, Grant! He was born in the 60s - in a generation that barely knew anything about neurodivergence. Dad went through school, work, parenting, literally everything without a diagnosis until much later in life, and unfortunately his parents had passed away before he was diagnosed. In this episode, Grant shares what it’s like to piece together your story backwards, how late diagnosis changed the way he sees himself, what it's like getting ADHD coaching and we discuss the generational differences in awareness and stigma. He also reflects on some hilarious stories from his childhood (that now make sense after getting his diagnosis). We're really grateful for our Dad's vulnerabilty and the advice he shares from his own lived experience.SOCIAL @wtfisaudhdpodcastLINKTREE Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
In this episode, we explore Pathological Demand Avoidance (more compassionately known as Pervasive Drive for Autonomy) - a profile most often linked with autism that goes far beyond being just being “stubborn.” We break down what PDA is, our understanding of it and how it's appeared in our life, and why everyday requests can feel overwhelming or even threatening - even if the demand is from within your own mind. We share personal stories of when demands have triggered resistance (sometimes without us even realising why), and unpack the differences between ADHD task resistance and PDA driven task resistance.Again, please use this episode as a jump-off to do your own research!SOCIAL @wtfisaudhdpodcastJoin our private Reddit community! Link in our Linktree Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
In this episode, we open up about our personal journeys with Irritable Bowel Syndrome (IBS) and other gastrointestinal / autoimmune issues we've experienced, using hindsight to recognise it may have all been linked to our autism and ADHD (stress!). We start exploring the connection between the brain and the gut, including how our stomach microbiome impacts our brain. We dive into emerging research linking neurodivergence with physical health and common correlations. This episode isn’t medical advice, but more a conversation to spark curiosity. We encourage you to do your own research but we just wanted to remind you that you’re not the only one with a gassy gut!Find the research article we reference HERE. Join our private community on Reddit - direct link in our Linktree.SOCIAL @wtfisaudhdpodcast Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Transitions can be some of the hardest moments for people with ADHD, autism, or both - even when we’re looking forward to what’s next. Paige and Ellie have had a few ephiphanies recently about how transitions have affected them throughout their life. In this episode, we explore why shifting from one activity, environment, or phase of life can feel so dysregulating, and how neurodivergent inertia plays into it. We unpack our own personal struggless and offer tips for supporting yourself and your kids through transitions.Join our Reddit community!SOCIAL @wtfisaudhdpodcastLINKTREE Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
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I use diary-style calendars instead of pre-made journals to manage my daily tasks, and they’ve been really effective for me.