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We Hate Movies

Author: HeadGum

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Each week the WHM gang force themselves to watch bad movies that were better left forgotten to fuel off-the-wall tangents, inane impressions and unabashed comedic silliness. This is a comedy podcast for movie lovers that can't help but relish pure trash.
556 Episodes
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On this week's episode, it's the gang's first of what wound up being a two-show night at the legendary Hollywood Improv! Recorded during last year's fall tour, the gang kicked off the LA shows by talking about the beloved '80s classic, Teen Wolf! Hey, was Scott's dad hitting on Boof? Did any kids die after seeing Michael J. Fox surfing on that van? And did that woman sleep with him while he was a dog? PLUS: No, we will not cool our jets, MAAAAAAAAN!!Teen Wolf stars Michael J. Fox, James Hampton, Susan Ursitti, Jerry Levine, and Mark Holton; directed by Rod Daniel.
On this week's episode, the gang welcomes back Vulture writer and friend of the show, Angelica Jade Bastién to chat about the outrageous teen sex romp, Cruel Intentions! Was no one considering the fact that these characters are like 18 tops? What is with Ryan Phillippe's terrible duster? And did we really need this horrendous Joshua Jackson character? PLUS: Chris Cabin falls down a paranoid rabbit hole trying to connect the dots in The Rise of Skywalker! Cruel Intentions stars Ryan Phillippe, Sarah Michelle Gellar, Reese Witherspoon, Selma Blair, Joshua Jackson, Sean Patrick Thomas, Christine Baranski, Eric Mabius, Swoosie Kurtz, Tara Reid, and Louise Fletcher; directed by Roger Kumble.
Episode 467 - Orphan

Episode 467 - Orphan

2020-02-0402:10:325

On this week's episode, the gang is chatting about the ridiculous eerie kid movie, Orphan! How is this kid sitting at the absolute back of the orphanage not an immediate red flag? Why does this girl dress like it's 1885? And to Hell with this movie tree house! PLUS: Tune into HBO's next hit current events show, Little Dennis Miller Live!Orphan stars Vera Farmiga, Peter Sarsgaard, Isabelle Fuhrman, Margo Martindale, and CCH Pounder; directed by Jaume Collet-Serra.
On this week's episode, the gang closes out (Some of) the Worst of 2019 month with a convo about the too long, too silly, too muscle-y, spin-off film, Fast & Furious Presents: Hobbs & Shaw! Why did they try and cram three movies into one? Did no one think to call Toretto? And why did the screenwriters feel the need to change location more times than a Bond film? PLUS: A "Prison Paul" movie starring Mel Gibson? It could happen!Fast & Furious Presents: Hobbs & Shaw stars Dwayne Johnson, Jason Statham, Vanessa Kirby, Idris Elba, Helen Mirren, Elza González, Eddie Marsan, Cliff Curtis, Lori Pelensie Tuisano, Rob Delaney, and Ryan Reynolds; directed by David Leitch.
On this month's high-octane episode of Animation Damnation, the gang is chatting about the silly new Netflix cartoon, Fast and Furious Spy Racers! The episode in question, "Born a Toretto," dropped December 26th, 2019—along with the rest of the first season—on Netflix. Could they make this look any more like—whoa, hit the brakes! This episode is for subscribers only! To access the full show, along with hours upon hours of exclusive bonus content across several different shows, head on over to our Patreon page and sign up today!
Episode 465 - Yesterday

Episode 465 - Yesterday

2020-01-2101:54:056

On this week's episode, the Worst of 2019 Month continues as the guys chat about the totally lame Beatles-heavy fantasy, Yesterday! Why not explore the English woman and Russian guy characters more? Is this protagonist really a huge Beatles fan to begin with? And how did they think ending it this way was acceptable? PLUS: Get OUT OF TOWN with that "cameo." Yesterday stars Himesh Patel, Lily James, Joel Fry, Ed Sheeran, Kate McKinnon, James Corden, Lamorne Morris, and Robert Carlyle; directed by Danny Boyle.
On this month's Gleep Glossary entry, the guys learn all about renowned, indestructible fuck machine, Emperor Palpatine! How hilarious is it that Palpatine was a—HEY NOW! This episode is for subscribers only! To listen to the full show, head on over to our Patreon and sign up today! Instantly access this outrageous Palpatine ep along with hours, upon hours
On this month's exclusive, full-length bonus We Love Movies episode, the gang is chatting about last year's studio smash hit, Quentin Tarantino's Once Upon a Time... in Hollywood! How rad is all the—WHOA, Jack! This episode is for subscribers only! To access the full show, head on over to our Patreon page and sign up today! Instantly access this episode on OUATIH along with hours, upon hours of exclusive bonus content!
On this week's episode, the gang continues celebrating(?) the worst of 2019 with a raucous conversation about American Mike 3, known elsewhere as Angel Has Fallen! How in the world is Gerard Butler not the head of the Secret Service by now? Does American Mike have CTE? And why did we need that stupid stinger scene? PLUS: Hey, American Mike, meet your dad's new wife—a skeleton?Angel Has Fallen stars Gerard Butler, Morgan Freeman, Danny Huston, Piper Perabo, Lance Reddick, and Nick Nolte; directed by RIc Roman Waugh.
Episode 462 - Hellboy (2019)

Episode 462 - Hellboy (2019)

2020-01-0701:46:584

On the first episode of 2020, the gang is chatting about one of the worst films of last year, Hellboy! Who asked for this? No, seriously—who? Why did they cram four movies into this one film? What's with the Lobster Johnson cameo? And come ON with the King Arthur crap! PLUS: Did Hellboy's HQ move to Colorado because they legalized it?Hellboy stars David Harbour, Milla Jovovich, Ian McShane, Sophie Okonedo, Thomas Haden Church, Sasha Lane, Daniel Dae Kim, and Kristina Klebe as Leni Riefenstahl for some reason; directed by Neil Marshall.
CAUTION: SPOILERS FOR "THE RISE OF SKYWALKER" AHEAD!On this edition of WHM On-Screen, the gang is chatting about the incredibly polarizing final installment of the "Skywalker Saga" - STAR WARS: EPISODE IX - THE RISE OF SKYWALKER! How bungled did this actually get? What's with all the slap-dash editing? Could they have chilled with those death fake-outs? And how did the Emperor get stuck in one of those claw machines you find in the lobby of a Bennigans? Star Wars: Episode IX - The Rise of Skywalker stars Daisy Ridley, Carrie Fisher, Mark Hamill, Adam Driver, John Boyega, Oscar Isaac, Anthony Daniels, Naomi Ackie, Domhnall Gleeson, Richard E. Grant, Lupita Nyong'o, Keri Russell, Joonas Suotamo, Kelly Marie Tran, and Ian McDiarmid for some reason; directed by J.J. Abrams.
On the final episode of 2019, the gang brings We Love Movies month to an end with a spirited convo about one of the best films ever made, Mad Max: Fury Road! Does cinematic stunt work get better than this? It is definitely a career best for Charlize, no? And how sweet would it be to ride on that rock and roll tank? PLUS: No way Immortan Joe could sprint down that hallway!Mad Max: Fury Road stars Tom Hardy, Charlize Theron, Nicholas Hoult, Hugh Keays-Byrne, Zoë Kravitz, and Riley Keough; directed by George Miller.
On this month's special Holiday Mail Bag, the gang reads letters about folks dodging airplane marathon pukers, Amish kids watching The Karate Kid, kids opening their presents and playing with them before Christmas, and the dangers of the wretched "Movie Party" idea! PLUS: An actual tutorial some dude made about eating watermelon properly... posted to Pornhub?If you have a question for the gang, or want your stories read on the air, write into the mail bag: weallhatemovies@gmail.com!
Episode 460 - Gremlins

Episode 460 - Gremlins

2019-12-2401:59:514

On this week's Christmas Edition of We Love Movies, the gang is chatting about the all-time Christmas/horror classic, Gremlins! How about the great Dick Miller in this movie? How much does that Burger King stick out on the town set? And why is Phoebe Cates serving the Gremlins alcohol? PLUS: Country Funk's Hoyt Axton being fed full meals while sleeping is a thing that's discussed! Gremlins stars Hoyt Axton, Zach Galligan, Phoebe Cates, Corey Feldman, Dick Miller, Frank Welker, and Howie Mandel; directed by the great Joe Dante.
On this week's very special episode, the gang completes their WLM Star Wars adventure by tackling the sixth episode in the Skywalker Saga, Return of the Jedi! How horrifying is it that these ewoks are definitely eating human flesh? What was Lucas thinking with that gleep glop sticking its lips in the camera in the altered version? And is that dude crying over the Rancor showing the first nipples in Star Wars? PLUS: Admiral Ackbar and Grand Moff Tarkin star in the Oscar-winning, Squid Book.Return of the Jedi stars Mark Hamill, Harrison Ford, Carrie Fisher, Billy Dee Williams, Anthony Daniels, Kenny Baker, Peter Mayhew, Ian McDiarmid, Frank Oz, James Earl Jones, David Prowse, Sebastian Shaw, Alec Guinness, and Warwick Davis; directed by Richard Marquand.
On this month's massive, nearly 3-hour bonus episode, the gang continues celebrating We Love Movies month with a super-sized chat about The Empire Strikes Back! How cruel is the fate of—whoa, young Jedi! This episode is for subscribers only! To access the full show, visit our Patreon and sign up today! Instantly unlock this show and hours, upon hours of additional bonus content not available anywhere else!
On this week's show, the gang is live from Cobb's in San Francisco chatting about the absolutely delightful Michael Bay action show, The Rock! Is Nicolas Cage naked under that guitar? Why didn't the movie care at all about those hostages? And is Blimpie still a thing? PLUS: What if Sean Connery played Pennywise? The Rock stars Nicolas Cage, Sean Connery, Ed Harris, John Spencer, David Morse, William Forsythe, Michael Biehn, John C. McGinley, Bokeem Woodbine, and the great Tony Todd; directed by Michael Bay.
On this week's episode, the gang kicks off WLM month with a bang as they welcome High & Mighty and Action Boys' Jon Gabrus onto the program to talk about the second-best in the franchise, Die Hard with a Vengeance! Recorded at the HeadGum studio in Los Angeles, the guys wonder why the screenwriter was willing to die on the hill for that sandwich board sequence? Why is McClane never seen throwing up throughout the day with that hangover? And does that fountain water puzzle actually shake out? PLUS: What were they thinking with those gross Charmin bears?Die Hard with a Vengeance stars Bruce Willis, Samuel L. Jackson, Jeremy Irons, Graham Greene, Colleen Camp, Larry Bryggman, and Kevin Chamberlain; directed by John McTiernan.
On this week's episode, the gang is chatting about 1984's The Karate Kid LIVE from the Improv in Hollywood, California! Recorded on the most recent leg of tour, this show saw the guys asking the important questions, like: what was Mrs. LaRusso smoking and where could they get some? Where did Mr. Miyagi get that Jay Leno-esque fleet of cars? And what's with that neighborhood kid's pig t-shirt? PLUS: Playing the role of Mr. Miyagi on this episode—Peter Falk everyone!The Karate Kid stars Ralph Macchio, Pat Morita, Elisabeth Shue, Martin Kove, Randee Heller, and Willilam Zabka; directed by John Avildsen.
On this week's episode, the gang is live from majestic Portland, Oregon discussing the 1990 family comedy/hardened police drama, Kindergarten Cop! Recorded on the recent west coast tour at the beautiful Aladdin Theater, the gang wants to know just why this movie starts like a scene from To Live and Die in L.A., what was with that vomit montage, and did the film really need that domestic violence sub-sub-subplot? PLUS: Jesse "The Body" Ventura auditions for some non-existent voice over roles in the film!Kindergarten Cop stars Arnold Schwarzenegger, Penelope Ann Miller, Pamela Reed, Linda Hunt, Richard Tyson, Carroll Baker, Cathy Moriarty, Richard Portnow, and a bunch of rotten children; directed by Ivan Reitman.
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Comments (70)

Luke Glix

ok episode best joke: sleep feeding best impression: "gonna have 2 clean out the pool God dammut" Brimly Luke(never listens to anything Star Trek but still pays $8/month) Glix #wehatemovies @whmpodcast

Feb 12th
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Luke Glix

great episode (like all episodes with Sandler dabadie-dooing) best joke:do you soke at the kitchen table best impression: "I was ejected from the theater immediately" Gary Bushy OR "give chuck the deed 2 the house" Larry's dead wife Luke(never listened to a single Trek pod but still pays the $8/month)Glix #wehatemovies @whmpodcast

Feb 11th
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Luke Glix

ok episode best impression: "I was on boffy" Jesse the body best joke: I urin at home luke(never listens to anything from Star Trek bust still pays $8/month)Glix #wehatemovies @whmpodcast

Feb 11th
Reply

Luke Glix

A++ episode best joke: Steve saying his 1st grade partner bullied him mercilessly or that a joke on the show SCRUBS could have come from anywhere. best impression:Liam Nielsen as Dracula "hope there's black people " luke(never listened 2 a single Trek pod but still pays $8/month) Glix #wehatemovies @whmpodcast

Feb 10th
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Christian Gavey

"I don't announce when I masturbate!"

Feb 7th
Reply

Luke Glix

good episode that introduces "crinkly hand drunk" best impression: "jiggle your titties ladies" John Lovitz best joke: I'm a fuzzy but you need to come as an elk Luke(never fucks with any Trek pods but still gives $8 a month)Glix @whmpodcast #wehatemovies

Jan 31st
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Luke Glix

great episode best joke: the last guy we had in here... chicken scratch. best impression: "cat hotdog" louie Anderson Luke(never listens to anything Trek but still forks over $8/month) Glix @whmpodcast #wehatemovies

Jan 31st
Reply

Luke Glix

💣 episode best impression: "Marty it's about your wife's feet" Doc Brown best joke: talking about her dad tugging it silly #wehatemovies @whmpodcast Luke(never listens to any Trek pods but still pledges $8/month) Glix

Jan 30th
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Luke Glix

super episode best joke: bring up the opportunity to talk about another terrible joke OR use promo code BEER GUZZLE best impression: "MEME WATCH" Alex jones Luke(never listened to a single Trek pod but still give $8/month) @whmpodcast #wehatemovies

Jan 29th
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Luke Glix

great episode most noted for the introduction of the great MARTIN CINAMAX III. #wehatemovies Luke(never listens to any Trek pods but still plays $8) Glix

Jan 29th
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Luke Glix

best impression: " I can be in Hobbs and shaft" Jesse the body best joke: this franchise started with stealing vcrs Luke(never listened to a single Star Trek pod but still gives $8 /month) Glix

Jan 28th
Reply

Luke Glix

great episode best joke:definitely not that aryan dollop you got there best impression: "what's the cigarette policy?" Joe the baby Luke (never listens to any Star Trek shit but still gives $8 a month) Glix

Jan 28th
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Luke Glix

great episode best joke: twas the beauty of chris cabin that killed the beast best impression: "I'm hung like a horse" as Tommy Lee jones Luke(never listen to anything Star Trek bust still pays $8 a month)Glix

Jan 27th
Reply

Luke Glix

best joke: Ed Sheeran is santa's consiglieri best impression:McCartney as God Luke ( never listens to any Star trek posts but still pays $8) Glix

Jan 21st
Reply

hermione

Absolutely the funniest podcast I've heard. I relisten to most episodes a few times and it's the only podcast I support at the highest level on patreon. couldn't recommend it enough

Jan 11th
Reply

Luke Glix

ok episode best joke: Serpico u suckin off that nazi in there or what. best impression: "no I want 2 make a hell boy movie" Bill Cosby Luke (never listens to anything Star Trek bust still pledges$8)Glix

Jan 7th
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Luke Glix

great episode. best joke: retirement watch made from starlight. best impression: Jesse the body "I chose poorly " Luke (fuck everything Star Trek but still pays $8) Glix

Jan 6th
Reply

Luke Glix

ok episode. best joke: what's Jeffery Jones doing with Christopher Robin. best impression: jeffery Jones " did u say kids on a bus?" luke (never listens to Star Trek episodes but still pays $8) Glix

Jan 6th
Reply

Luke Glix

ok episode. best joke:Stallone's feet up style of directing. best impression: Stallone "ur taking my soul" Luke(hates everything star trek but still pledges $8) Glix

Jan 3rd
Reply

Luke Glix

not the best episode. best joke: "I drink ur milkshake" in Louis Anderson's voice Luke ( never listen to star trek episodes) Glix

Jan 3rd
Reply
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