We Need To Talk with Dr. Darcy Sterling

We all know that changing a habit is hard — especially one that’s been socially accepted for generations. Alcohol is woven into how we celebrate, relax, and connect. But what if technology could help us drink more consciously, instead of forcing us into an all-or-nothing mindset?In this episode, I sit down with Nick Allen, CEO and co-founder of Sunnyside, an app that helps people make more mindful choices about alcohol — without the shame, judgment, or labels that so often come with it. We talk about how data, psychology, and behavioral design are revolutionizing the way we think about drinking.This isn’t a conversation about quitting. It’s a conversation about awareness — and how a little insight can lead to massive transformation.Here’s what you’ll learn:Why traditional narratives about drinking (“you’re fine or you’re an addict”) don’t reflect most people’s reality.How tech tools like Sunnyside use behavioral psychology and habit tracking to create lasting change.The small, science-backed shifts that can help you drink more mindfully — starting tonight.If this episode resonates with you, follow or subscribe to We Need To Talk with Dr. Darcy Sterling. It’s free, it takes a second, and it helps keep powerful conversations like this coming your way.Xxoo DarcyREFERENCES/RESOURCESwww.alternativescounseling.com See if Sunnyside is a fit for you here: https://sunnyside.cohttps://www.researchgate.net/publication/362788017_Why_do_adults_drink_alcohol_Development_and_validation_of_a_Drinking_Motives_Questionnaire_for_adults?utm_source=chatgpt.comhttps://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/36641592/https://www.who.int/europe/news/item/04-01-2023-no-level-of-alcohol-consumption-is-safe-for-our-health?utm_source=chatgpt.comCREDITS“We Need To Talk With Dr. Darcy Sterling” is a Sterling Standard Production. Editing and sound engineering by Bart Migal. Our theme music is by Trending Music. Special thanks to Amanda Cristiani and Robyn Jaenchen. DISCLAIMERInstagram:@drdarcysterling Facebook:Dr.Darcy SterlingTik Tok:@doctordarcysterling  Twitter:@DrDarcySterling   YouTube:@DarcySterling  Threads:@drdarcysterlingWatch this episode here on YouTube. 

We’ve all gotten pretty good at spotting red flags — emotional unavailability, inconsistent texting, the subtle (or not-so-subtle) signs that someone’s not ready for real intimacy. But what about the other side of the spectrum? The green flags — the behaviors that quietly signal emotional maturity and long-term potential.In this episode, I’m flipping the script. I’ll walk you through the 5 green flags that predict lasting love — the therapist’s cheat sheet to recognizing when someone is actually relationship material. And here’s the twist: Most of these green flags are learnable skills. That means you can cultivate them in yourself as much as you can look for them in others.Whether you’re single and dating or in a relationship and wanting to deepen your connection, this episode will help you recognize the traits that actually sustain love over time — not just spark it.Here’s What You’ll LearnWhy emotional regulation is the ultimate green flag — and how it predicts how safe you’ll feel in a relationship.How repair attempts after conflict reveal long-term potential (hint: it’s not about avoiding fights).The small, often-missed signs of empathy, accountability, and curiosity — the real markers of relational health.If you’ve ever wondered what actually separates relationships that last from those that don’t, this is the episode for you. Because the truth is, chemistry might get you in the door — but green flags are what keep you there.Xxoo DarcyPS: If you found this episode helpful, share it with someone who could use a little hope about what healthy love really looks like.REFERENCES/RESOURCESwww.alternativescounseling.comCREDITS“We Need To Talk With Dr. Darcy Sterling” is a Sterling Standard Production. Editing and sound engineering by Bart Migal. Our theme music is by Trending Music. Special thanks to Amanda Cristiani and Robyn Jaenchen.  DISCLAIMERInstagram:@drdarcysterling Facebook:Dr.Darcy SterlingTik Tok:@doctordarcysterling  X:@DrDarcySterling   YouTube:@DarcySterling   Threads:@drdarcysterlingWatch this episode here on YouTube. 

Full episode here → Apple/ Spotify/ You TubeIn today’s world, sharing an opinion can feel like stepping onto a battlefield. We fear being judged, misunderstood, or canceled—so we stay silent. Or worse, we speak at each other instead of with each other. But real connection isn’t about having the perfect words. It’s about showing up with curiosity, intention, and presence—even when it’s uncomfortable.In this powerful conversation, I’m joined by legendary therapists and relationship experts Dr. Harville Hendrix and Dr. Helen LaKelly Hunt, creators of Imago Therapy and authors of the new book How to Talk With Anyone About Anything. We unpack the deeper purpose of conversation, how to reconnect during moments of conflict, and why our differences might actually be the gateway to deeper intimacy.In this episode, you’ll learn:Why differences don’t mean you’re incompatible—and how they can lead to greater intimacy.The #1 most effective tool to stay grounded and present in uncomfortable conversations.The one thing that must be present in every relationship if you want it to be healthy.PLUS: I bring Harville one of my most triggering real-life scenarios—and ask him to walk me through it. And he does not disappoint. Xxoo DarcyREFERENCESGetting the Love You Want: A Guide for Couples: Third EditionHow to Talk with Anyone about Anything: The Practice of Safe ConversationsKeeping the Love You Find: A Personal GuideDoing Imago Relationship Therapy in the Space-Between: A Clinician's GuideThe Space Between: The Point of ConnectionMaking Marriage Simple: Ten Relationship-Saving TruthsCREDITS“We Need To Talk With Dr. Darcy Sterling” is a Sterling Standard Production. Editing and sound engineering by Bart Migal. Our theme music is by Trending Music. Special thanks to Amanda Cristiani.  DISCLAIMERInstagram:@drdarcysterling Facebook:Dr.Darcy SterlingTik Tok:@doctordarcysterling X:@DrDarcySterling   YouTube:@DarcySterling   Threads:@drdarcysterlingWatch this episode here on YouTube. 

Online dating shouldn’t feel like a full-time job. But for most people, it does — endless swiping, ghosting, and wondering why no one seems to click. The truth? You’re not doing it wrong. You’ve just never been told how the system actually works.In this episode, I’m breaking down the unwritten rules of dating apps — from the psychology behind a high-performing profile to the hidden algorithms that influence who you see (and who sees you). I’m joined by my friend Robert Mack, the dating coach from Famously Single, and together we’re pulling back the curtain on everything the apps don’t tell you.We talk about how to make your profile irresistible without feeling like you’re selling yourself, how to start conversations that lead somewhere, and how to spot emotional availability long before you meet IRL.Because dating apps aren’t the enemy — confusion is. Once you understand how to play the game, it stops feeling like rejection and starts feeling like opportunity.Here’s What You’ll Learn:The psychology behind profile photos and bios that attract high-quality matches.How to use app algorithms and timing to dramatically increase your visibility.What emotionally intelligent dating looks like — and how to recognize connection early on.Whether you’re just dipping your toes back in or you’ve been swiping for years, this episode will give you a mindset reset — and a strategy that actually works.Xxoo DarcyPS: If you found this episode helpful, share it with a friend who’s ready to date smarter (and maybe meet the one). And don’t forget to follow or subscribe to We Need to Talk with Dr. Darcy Sterling so you never miss an episode that helps you love better and live better.REFERENCES/RESOURCESwww.alternativescounseling.comwww.coachrobmack.comHappiness From The Inside OutLove From the Inside OutDuchenne Smile CREDITS“We Need To Talk With Dr. Darcy Sterling” is a Sterling Standard Production. Editing and sound engineering by Bart Migal. Our theme music is by Trending Music. Special thanks to Amanda Cristiani and Robyn Jaenchen.  DISCLAIMERInstagram:@drdarcysterling Facebook:Dr.Darcy SterlingTik Tok:@doctordarcysterling X:@DrDarcySterling   YouTube:@DarcySterling   Threads:@drdarcysterlingWatch this episode here on YouTube.

When it comes to addiction, most of us have been taught that success means total abstinence and failure means relapse. But that rigid framework leaves a lot of people behind. Harm reduction offers a different approach—one rooted in compassion, science, and meeting people where they are.In this episode, I sit down with Dr. Sheila Vakharia, Deputy Director of Research and Academic Engagement at the Drug Policy Alliance, to talk about what harm reduction looks like in practice. From syringe exchange programs to overdose prevention sites, Sheila shares how these strategies are transforming the way we understand recovery, public health, and even our relationships with loved ones who struggle.This is not just a conversation about policy—it’s about empathy, dignity, and the power of expanding our definition of healing.Here’s what you’ll take away from this episode:Why the abstinence-only model of addiction treatment doesn’t work for everyone—and how harm reduction offers a more inclusive alternative.Practical strategies that reduce risk, prevent overdoses, and create safer pathways to recovery.How embracing harm reduction can help us show up with more compassion and effectiveness for the people we love.Xxoo DarcyPS: If you found this episode eye-opening, make sure you hit subscribe so you never miss a conversation that could change the way you think about relationships, recovery, and resilience. And if you love the show, leaving a review helps others discover We Need to Talk with Dr. Darcy Sterling.REFERENCES/RESOURCESwww.alternativescounseling.comThe Harm Reduction Gap: Helping Individuals Left Behind by Conventional Drug Prevention and Abstinence-Only Addiction Treatment.sheilavakharia.comhttps://link.springer.com/article/10.1007/s10615-016-0584-3https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/abs/10.1080/16066359.2021.1900129https://www.momaps1.org/en/programs/558-love-rulesCREDITS“We Need To Talk With Dr. Darcy Sterling” is a Sterling Standard Production. Editing and sound engineering by Bart Migal. Our theme music is by Trending Music. Special thanks to Amanda Cristiani and Robyn Jaenchen.  DISCLAIMERInstagram:@drdarcysterling Facebook:Dr.Darcy SterlingTik Tok:@doctordarcysterling  X:@DrDarcySterling  YouTube:@DarcySterling   Threads:@drdarcysterlingWatch this episode here on YouTube.

Most of us step into dating and relationships hoping for the best, but hope isn’t a strategy. Reading people—really reading them—is a skill. It’s about spotting truth in the details, hearing what’s not being said, and learning how to navigate tension without blowing things up.In this episode, I sit down with Chris Voss, former FBI hostage negotiator and author of Never Split the Difference. Chris has spent decades facing high-stakes situations where the wrong move could cost lives—and he’s here to show us how those same skills can transform the way we approach love, dating, and long-term relationships.From decoding early red flags to negotiating the toughest conversations with your partner, Chris breaks down how to use empathy as leverage and communication as strategy. Whether you’re just swiping for a first date or you’ve been in a relationship for years, these tools will sharpen your instincts and strengthen your connection.Here’s what you’ll walk away with:How to decode trust signals in the early stages of dating so you don’t confuse charm with character.The art of tactical empathy—how to use listening as your most powerful tool when emotions run high.Negotiation strategies for love that help you handle conflict, set boundaries, and deepen connection without turning every disagreement into a battle.This conversation isn’t just about dating smarter—it’s about communicating like your relationship depends on it. Because in many ways, it does.Xxoo DarcyREFERENCES/RESOURCESwww.alternativescounseling.comNever Split the Difference: Negotiating As If Your Life Depended On It―Unlock Your Persuasion Potential in Professional and Personal Lifewww.blackswanltd.com/womens-symposium-2025CREDITS“We Need To Talk With Dr. Darcy Sterling” is a Sterling Standard Production. Editing and sound engineering by Bart Migal. Our theme music is by Trending Music. Special thanks to Amanda Cristiani and Robyn Jaenchen.  DISCLAIMERInstagram:@drdarcysterling Facebook:Dr.Darcy SterlingTik Tok:@doctordarcysterling  X:@DrDarcySterling   YouTube:@DarcySterling   Threads:@drdarcysterlingWatch this episode here on YouTube. 

Every so often, I get requests from my male listeners to dedicate an episode to their questions—and today is that day. I’m joined by my friend, Robert Mack, for a very special Ask Me Anything: Men’s Edition.This is your front-row seat to an unfiltered, honest conversation about what men really want to know when it comes to love, dating, women, and relationships. Nothing was off the table. From decoding mixed signals, to handling rejection, to the mental health struggles men often keep silent about—we covered it all.Robert brings his brilliant perspective as my first-ever male co-host, and together we tackle the questions that so many men have, but rarely get to ask out loud.If you’ve ever wished someone would just say the quiet part out loud about dating and relationships, this episode is for you.Whether you’re single, dating, or in a relationship, this AMA gives you actionable insights that can change the way you think about love and connection.Xxoo DarcyREFERENCES/RESOURCESwww.alternativescounseling.comWhy do women sometimes pull away after great sex?Oxford research on emotional connectionIs online dating even worth it for men over 40?Attachment patterns shape emotional responsesMaslow’s Hierarchy of needsHappiness From The Inside OutCREDITS“We Need To Talk With Dr. Darcy Sterling” is a Sterling Standard Production. Editing and sound engineering by Bart Migal. Our theme music is by Trending Music. Special thanks to Amanda Cristiani and Robyn Jaenchen.  DISCLAIMERInstagram:@drdarcysterling Facebook:Dr.Darcy SterlingTik Tok:@doctordarcysterling  X:@DrDarcySterling   YouTube:@DarcySterling   Threads:@drdarcysterlingWatch this episode here on YouTube.

If you’ve ever felt like therapy isn’t moving the needle—like you’re talking, reflecting, and gaining insight, but your life still looks the same—this episode is for you. Traditional talk therapy can be powerful, but sometimes insight alone isn’t enough to shift patterns that have been running your life for years.That’s where DBT (Dialectical Behavior Therapy) comes in. Unlike traditional therapy, DBT is structured, skills-based, and laser-focused on behavior change. My guest, Dr. Shireen Rizvi, is one of the foremost experts in the country. She trained under Marsha Linehan, the founder of DBT, and went on to establish one of the nation’s leading DBT clinics at Rutgers University. Together, we break down what DBT really is, who it helps, and why it may be exactly what you’ve been searching for when therapy feels stuck.Here’s What You’ll Learn:Why talking about your issues isn’t always enough to create lasting change.The core skills DBT teaches—and how they can transform your relationships and emotional wellbeing.How to know if DBT might be the right next step for you.And don’t miss the end of the episode—where I drop the insight you didn’t know you needed. Call it emotional homework or a truth bomb—it’s the piece you’ll still be thinking about tomorrow.Xxoo DarcyREFERENCES/RESOURCESwww.alternativescounseling.comwww.shireenrizvi.com Real Skills for Real Life: A DBT Guide to Navigating Stress, Emotions, and Relationships http://guilford.com/books/Real-Skills-for-Real-Life/Rizvi-Finkelstein/9781462555574?srsltid=AfmBOopthmYGfm60RnC2ed__8sY7x1l1EuSp3YfZgLe9mths7SgBb_i5CREDITS“We Need To Talk With Dr. Darcy Sterling” is a Sterling Standard Production. Editing and sound engineering by Bart Migal. Our theme music is by Trending Music. Special thanks to Amanda Cristiani and Robyn Jaenchen.  DISCLAIMERInstagram:@drdarcysterling Facebook:Dr.Darcy SterlingTik Tok:@doctordarcysterling  X:@DrDarcySterling   YouTube:@DarcySterling   Threads:@drdarcysterlingWatch this episode here on YouTube. 

One of the hottest topics in mental health is attachment theory, which is a psychological framework that posits that the way we bond to our primary caregivers creates a template for how we’ll move through relationships as adults.  It goes like this: We learn how to love and how to get our needs met through the care we received from our primary caregivers. The extent to which they fulfilled our needs informs how we will then express our needs as adults and how we’ll respond to the needs of those closest to us, particularly, our partners.When it comes to living experts in the field of attachment theory, there is no one more respected than today’s guest. Dr. Diane Poole Heller is an international expert and pioneer in attachment theory. She is the author of The Power of Attachment: How to Create Deep and Lasting Relationships — a book that I make most of my clients read at some point during our work. Dr. Heller is the Creator of DARe: a training and certification program for therapists that teaches them how to apply attachment theory into their clinical work, and she joins me to shed light on how we can all move towards developing a secure attachment style, regardless of the attachment style we emerged from childhood with. In this episode, you’ll learn:The 4 different attachment styles and how each develops in childhood.How our attachment style influences the way we behave in our adult relationships. Practical tools for healing attachment wounds and moving towards a secure attachment style. How partners with different attachment styles can reduce conflict and misunderstandings.Xxoo DarcyREFERENCESwww.alternativescounseling.comAttachment Theory Quizhttps://traumasolutions.com/https://dianepooleheller.com/The Power of Attachment: How to Create Deep and Lasting Relationships Diane Poole Heller, PHDhttps://amzn.to/3CnxXUpThe Verdict Is In  By: Alan Sroufe and Daniel Siegelhttps://drdansiegel.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/09/1271-the-verdict-is-in-1.pdfCREDITSThis episode of “We Need To Talk With Dr. Darcy Sterling” was produced by Darcy Sterling, with editorial support from Vicki Vergolina. Editing and sound engineering by Bart Migal. Our theme music is by Trending Music. Special thanks to Amanda Cristiani, Stephanie Sterling and Preston Smith. “We Need To Talk With Dr. Darcy Sterling” is a Sterling Standard Production.  DISCLAIMERInstagram:@drdarcysterling Facebook:Dr.Darcy SterlingTik Tok:@doctordarcysterling  X:@DrDarcySterling   YouTube:@DarcySterling   Threads:@drdarcysterlingWatch this episode here on YouTube.

Dating with standards is essential—it’s how we protect ourselves from repeating old mistakes and from settling for less than we deserve. But what happens when those standards start to feel less like safety rails and more like walls keeping people out?In this episode, I sit down with Ashtyn to explore the fine line between boundaries that serve you and expectations that may be unintentionally working against you. Together, we look at how fear, loneliness, and past heartbreak can all sneak into our standards—disguising themselves as “non-negotiables.”Because the truth is: Having standards isn’t the problem. The challenge is making sure they’re rooted in self-respect, not self-protection at all costs.Here’s what you’ll learn:How to tell the difference between healthy boundaries and hidden barriers.The subtle ways loneliness can trick you into lowering—or raising—your standards.A framework for evaluating whether your “dealbreakers” are serving you or sabotaging you.If you’ve ever wondered whether your standards are keeping you safe—or keeping you single—this episode will give you the clarity you need.Xxoo DarcyREFERENCES/RESOURCESwww.alternativescounseling.comCREDITS“We Need To Talk With Dr. Darcy Sterling” is a Sterling Standard Production. Editing and sound engineering by Bart Migal. Our theme music is by Trending Music. Special thanks to Amanda Cristiani and Robyn Jaenchen.  DISCLAIMERInstagram:@drdarcysterling Facebook:Dr.Darcy SterlingTik Tok:@doctordarcysterling  X:@DrDarcySterling  YouTube:@DarcySterling   Threads:@drdarcysterlingWatch this episode here on YouTube. 

Most of us think inpatient psychiatric care is only for emergencies—when someone’s in immediate danger to themselves or others. But there’s a whole other side to it that rarely gets airtime: Choosing inpatient treatment before things hit rock bottom.In this episode, I talk with Dr. Andrew Gerber, President and Medical Director of Silver Hill Hospital, about what elective, voluntary inpatient care looks like when it’s designed for people who want help—not because they’re forced into it, but because they’re ready for change.We get into the reality of what happens when therapy, medication, and every coping strategy in your toolbox still aren’t enough—and how a structured, immersive setting can offer the breakthrough you’ve been searching for.Here’s What You’ll Learn:Why the mental health system is built to respond to crises—but rarely to prevent them.What elective, voluntary inpatient care actually looks like for high-functioning, therapy-savvy people.How to recognize the early warning signs that you might need more support than outpatient care can provide.If you’ve ever wondered where to turn when you’re not in crisis yet—but you can feel yourself unraveling—this conversation might just change the way you think about getting help.Xxoo DarcyREFERENCES/RESOURCESwww.alternativescounseling.comwww.silverhillhospital.orgCREDITS“We Need To Talk With Dr. Darcy Sterling” is a Sterling Standard Production. Editing and sound engineering by Bart Migal. Our theme music is by Trending Music. Special thanks to Amanda Cristiani and Robyn Jaenchen.  DISCLAIMERInstagram:@drdarcysterling Facebook:Dr.Darcy SterlingTik Tok:@doctordarcysterling  X:@DrDarcySterling   YouTube:@DarcySterling   Threads:@drdarcysterlingWatch here on YouTube

Dating shouldn’t feel like an energy drain—and yet, for many introverts, it does.Introverts often thrive in deep, one-on-one conversations, yet dating apps, noisy bars, and rapid-fire banter can leave them completely drained. And if you’re not aware of what’s happening, that exhaustion can be mistaken for disinterest—or worse, rejection.In this episode of We Need to Talk with Dr. Darcy Sterling, I sit down with Dr. Laurie Helgoe, psychologist and author of Introvert Power, to talk about dating as an introvert, how to protect your energy, and how to navigate relationships when the world feels built for extroverts. We’ll cover introvert dating tips, how to communicate boundaries, and how to find meaningful connection without pretending to be someone you’re not.Here’s What You’ll Learn:How to tell the difference between needing space and losing interest—and why it matters for relationship health.Practical strategies introverts can use to make dating less exhausting (and more enjoyable).How to communicate your energy needs without sounding distant or disengaged.Whether you’re an introvert yourself, dating one, or raising one, you’ll walk away with tools to navigate connection in a way that feels natural—and sustainable.Xxoo DarcyREFERENCES/RESOURCESwww.alternativescounseling.comThe Strange Situation Procedure by Mary AinsworthIntrovert Power: Why Your Inner Life Is Your Hidden Strength (Reduce Anxiety and Boost Your Confidence and Self-Esteem with this Self-Help Book for Introverted Women and Men) CREDITS“We Need To Talk With Dr. Darcy Sterling” is a Sterling Standard Production. Editing and sound engineering by Bart Migal. Our theme music is by Trending Music. Special thanks to Amanda Cristiani and Robyn Jaenchen.  DISCLAIMERInstagram:@drdarcysterling Facebook:Dr.Darcy SterlingTik Tok:@doctordarcysterling  X:@DrDarcySterling   YouTube:@DarcySterling   Threads:@drdarcysterlingWatch this episode here on YouTube. 

Let’s be honest: Dating today can feel like a full-time job—with no benefits and no PTO.If you’ve found yourself endlessly swiping, mentally checked out on first dates, or dreading another round of small talk with someone who’ll probably ghost you by next week, you’re not alone—and you’re not doing it wrong.You’re just burnt out.In this episode of We Need to Talk, I’m talking about what so many people feel but don’t say out loud: Dating fatigue is real. And while it can be tempting to delete the apps and swear off dating altogether, there’s a better way to navigate the exhaustion without giving up on what you want.We talk about how to protect your energy, how to spot red flags early (without turning into a detective), and how to create a system that supports your mental health while staying open to connection.Here’s What You’ll Learn:Dating burnout doesn’t mean you’re jaded—it means you’ve been overextending your emotional bandwidth without proper boundaries.You can slow down the pace, protect your energy, and still be intentional about finding love.A few strategic mindset shifts can transform dating from exhausting to empowering—and help you show up as your best self.Xxoo DarcyREFERENCES/RESOURCESwww.alternativescouseling.comhttps://www.askdrdarcy.com/measure-approach/CREDITS“We Need To Talk With Dr. Darcy Sterling” is a Sterling Standard Production. Editing and sound engineering by Bart Migal. Our theme music is by Trending Music. Special thanks to Amanda Cristiani and Robyn Jaenchen.  DISCLAIMERInstagram:@drdarcysterling Facebook:Dr.Darcy SterlingTik Tok:@doctordarcysterling  X:@DrDarcySterling   YouTube:@DarcySterling   Threads:@drdarcysterlingWatch this episode here on YouTube. 

When couples tell me they’ve “lost the spark,” it’s rarely because of one major event. It’s the slow fade—the missed opportunities for connection, the routine that replaces curiosity, the conversations that revolve more around logistics than intimacy.But here’s the good news: Rekindling connection doesn’t require a massive overhaul. Sometimes, the smallest shift can open the biggest door.In this episode, I’m joined by Aly Bullock, Head of Relationships at Paired—an app designed to help couples reconnect through one intentional question a day. We dive into the science behind micro-moments, how novelty keeps long-term love alive, and why just a few minutes of daily intentionality might be all it takes to start feeling closer again.This is about more than an app. It’s about remembering that your partner isn’t just the person who forgot to take out the trash—they’re also the person you once couldn’t stop asking questions about.Takeaways:Small, intentional daily check-ins can create more emotional intimacy than the occasional big gesture.Curiosity is one of the most underrated tools in long-term relationships—and it’s a skill you can practice.Reigniting connection doesn’t require more time, just more intention—with the right prompts, even two minutes a day can change your dynamic.Xxoo DarcyREFERENCES/RESOURCESwww.alternativescounseling.comhttps://www.paired.com/press/paired-shown-to-increase-relationship-quality-by-36percentDownload Paired and try premium at a discount: http://www.paired.com/alypodcastCREDITS“We Need To Talk With Dr. Darcy Sterling” is a Sterling Standard Production. Editing and sound engineering by Bart Migal. Our theme music is by Trending Music. Special thanks to Amanda Cristiani and Robyn Jaenchen.  DISCLAIMERInstagram:@drdarcysterling Facebook:Dr.Darcy SterlingTik Tok:@doctordarcysterling  X:@DrDarcySterling   YouTube:@DarcySterling   Threads:@drdarcysterlingWatch this episode here on YouTube. 

You know that moment when you tell yourself you’ll scroll for just five more minutes… and somehow, an hour disappears?In this solo episode, I’m digging into the psychology behind why we feel addicted to social media—and what we can do about it. Because this goes way beyond distraction. For many of us, the endless scrolling becomes compulsive. Especially after a breakup or during times of heightened insecurity, our feeds start to feel less like entertainment and more like a source of clues… or control.But here’s the truth: Social media addiction is real. It may not be in the DSM, but it mirrors other behavioral addictions in all the ways that matter—dopamine hits, compulsive checking, withdrawal symptoms, and the toll it takes on your mental health.I’ll walk you through the neuroscience behind the urge to scroll, the emotional traps baked into the platforms, and why abstinence isn’t a realistic solution for most of us. And I’ll give you tangible strategies to regain control without having to delete every app off your phone.Whether you’re caught in a loop of stalking someone’s stories, waking up and reaching for your phone before your feet hit the floor, or just feeling like your attention span has been hijacked—this episode is for you.You’ll walk away with:A deeper understanding of why social media feels addictive—and how it manipulates your brain’s reward system.The 3 red flags that signal your relationship with social media may be harming your mental health.Science-backed, therapist-tested strategies for breaking the cycle—without quitting cold turkey.If you’ve ever felt ashamed or confused by your own scrolling habits, you’re not alone. And you’re not broken. Let’s talk about what’s really going on—and how to reclaim your peace.Xxoo DarcyREFERENCES/RESOURCESwww.alternativescounseling/comhttps://www.askdrdarcy.com/references/Email Amanda at amandacristiani705@gmail.com for course purchase - Code 5FRIENDSCREDITS“We Need To Talk With Dr. Darcy Sterling” is a Sterling Standard Production. Editing and sound engineering by Bart Migal. Our theme music is by Trending Music. Special thanks to Amanda Cristiani and Robyn Jaenchen and Ines Goot. DISCLAIMERInstagram:@drdarcysterling Facebook:Dr.Darcy SterlingTik Tok:@doctordarcysterling  X:@DrDarcySterling   YouTube:@DarcySterling   Threads:@drdarcysterlingWatch this episode here on YouTube. 

You know those relationship fights that keep coming up again and again? The ones that go in circles—never really getting resolved, just getting recycled?My guest this week is Julie Mennano—licensed therapist, author of Secure Love, and host of The Secure Relationship Podcast. Julie has a rare gift for helping couples identify the deeper emotional patterns driving their relationship conflict. She doesn’t just teach attachment theory—she translates it into practical tools you can actually use to change how you show up in love.Together, we explore why some arguments seem to have no end, why traditional communication strategies fall short, and how so much of your relationship conflict is tied to your nervous system and attachment style—not the surface-level issues like chores, tone, or timing.Whether you're in a romantic relationship, married, or navigating long-term partnership dynamics, this episode will help you understand the real reason your communication breaks down—and what to do about it.In this episode, you’ll learn:Why some relationship conflicts never feel resolved—and why it’s not about the dishwasher.How your attachment style and nervous system responses are shaping your conflict cycle.Practical tools for moving from conflict and disconnection to repair and reconnection.If you’ve ever walked away from an argument thinking, “We’ve had this fight a hundred times,” this conversation will show you what’s really going on—and how to finally create meaningful change in your relationship.Xxoo,DarcyREFERENCES/RESOURCESwww.alternativescounseling.comSecure Love: Create a Relationship That Lasts a LifetimeCREDITS“We Need To Talk With Dr. Darcy Sterling” is a Sterling Standard Production. Editing and sound engineering by Bart Migal. Our theme music is by Trending Music. Special thanks to Amanda Cristiani and Robyn Jaenchen.  DISCLAIMERInstagram:@drdarcysterling Facebook:Dr.Darcy SterlingTik Tok:@doctordarcysterling  X:@DrDarcySterling   YouTube:@DarcySterling   Threads:@drdarcysterlingWatch this episode here on YouTube. .

If you've ever found yourself walking on eggshells in relationships, struggling to set boundaries, or feeling like your emotional needs are too much, this episode is for you.I sat down with clinical psychologist and bestselling author Dr. Lindsay Gibson—whose groundbreaking work has helped millions of adult children of emotionally immature parents understand the long-term effects of childhood emotional neglect. We’re talking about the kinds of parents who were emotionally unavailable, unpredictable, or unable to meet your needs—and what that means for your adult relationships today.This conversation isn’t about blaming or bashing. It’s about clarity. It’s about reclaiming your story. And it’s about learning how to break the cycle of emotional immaturity so you don’t keep reenacting the same painful patterns with partners, friends, or even your own children.Whether you’ve gone no-contact, low-contact, or you’re still trying to make it work with a difficult parent, this episode will give you insight—and practical tools—to help you move forward.In this episode, we discuss:The relational habits and coping strategies that adult children of emotionally immature parents often carry into their closest relationships.Why people who didn’t receive emotional intimacy in childhood often struggle to recognize their own needs—and stay too long in one-sided relationships.How to coexist with this kind of parent—without cutting them off.If this resonates with you, make sure you follow the show—and please share it with someone who might need to hear it.If you listen to 1 podcast this month, THIS IS IT. Xxoo DarcyREFERENCES/RESOURCESwww.alternativescounselng.comAdult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents: How to Heal from Distant, Rejecting, or Self-Involved ParentsCREDITS“We Need To Talk With Dr. Darcy Sterling” is a Sterling Standard Production. Editing and sound engineering by Bart Migal. Our theme music is by Trending Music. Special thanks to Amanda Cristiani and Robyn Jaenchen.  DISCLAIMERInstagram:@drdarcysterling Facebook:Dr.Darcy SterlingTik Tok:@doctordarcysterling  X:@DrDarcySterling   YouTube:@DarcySterling   Threads:@drdarcysterlingWatch this episode here on YouTube. .

Holiday weeks always make me feel nostalgic, and that feeling tends to make me reflect on people who used to be in my life but no longer are… That’s why, this week, we’re re-releasing our most popular episode of all time—on family estrangement.Clearly, this topic resonates. So many of us live in the tension between missing someone we’ve cut off, and fearing that reconciliation would just reopen the same wounds that caused the break in the first place. If that’s you, I hope this episode gives you some clarity—and a little bit of peace.The threads that bind us to our families have begun to feel optional in recent years. And in our culture of social media — where anyone with a phone can proclaim themselves to be an expert on subjects that they have no training or qualifications in — influencers are everywhere, some of them encouraging followers to end what they deem to be toxic relationships, or to break unhealthy cycles, or to rethink the obligation of being in our closest relationships. I am a fan of healthy relationships. And when they become exploitive, manipulative or harmful, I am OK with someone making the decision to exit the relationship — even when it’s with a family member. I am truly torn when it comes to family estrangement. I know first hand the wounds that come from being in a painful relationship. I understand why someone would make the decision to step away. And as a therapist and a human being, I’ve seen the cost people pay when they lose their tribe. Joining me in this discussion is Dr. Joshua Coleman, author of the book Rules of Estrangement. Dr. Coleman is a psychologist in private practice in the San Francisco Bay Area, and he has carved out a specialty in family estrangement. In this episode you’ll learn:The #1 cause of family estrangement.  How well-meaning friends and family tend to exacerbate estrangement. The biggest mistakes people make when they’re trying to reconcile. AND… Dr. Coleman gives us his greatest tool for those who want to bridge the gap between themself and a loved one they’re cut off from. REFERENCESwww.alterntivescounseling.comIs Cutting Off Your Family Good Therapy?Rules of Estrangement: Why Adult Children Cut Ties & How to Heal the ConflictCREDITS“We Need To Talk With Dr. Darcy Sterling” is a Sterling Standard Production. Editing and sound engineering by Bart Migal. Our theme music is by Trending Music. Special thanks to Amanda Cristiani.  DISCLAIMERInstagram:@drdarcysterling Facebook:Dr.Darcy SterlingTik Tok:@doctordarcysterling  X:@DrDarcySterling   YouTube:@DarcySterling   Threads:@drdarcysterlingWatch this episode here on YouTube.

I’ve worked with so many smart, successful people who keep finding themselves in relationships that just don’t work. They’re self-aware, they’ve done the therapy, and on paper, they’re a catch. So why do they keep picking partners who can’t meet them where they are?In this episode, I’m joined by psychologist and “Love & Life” podcast host Dr. Karin Anderson Abrell to talk about why high-functioning people so often end up in low-quality relationships—and what to do about it.We’re breaking down:Why emotionally intelligent people sometimes ignore red flags.The role fantasy and projection play in choosing the wrong partners.How to tell the difference between chemistry and compatibility.What “dating at your level” really looks like.How to stop mistaking potential for actual partnership.If you’ve ever thought, “Maybe I’m the common denominator,” this conversation is for you. Because sometimes, you’re not the problem—you’re just dating one.🎧 Hit play. Let’s talk about it.Xxoo DarcyREFERENCES/RESOURCESwww.alternativescounseling.comStat on DSMCREDITS“We Need To Talk With Dr. Darcy Sterling” is a Sterling Standard Production. Editing and sound engineering by Bart Migal. Our theme music is by Trending Music. Special thanks to Amanda Cristiani and Robyn Jaenchen.  DISCLAIMERInstagram:@drdarcysterling Facebook:Dr.Darcy SterlingTik Tok:@doctordarcysterling  X:@DrDarcySterling   YouTube:@DarcySterling   Threads:@drdarcysterlingWatch this episode here on YouTube. 

Cannabis is having a wellness moment. But is it a legitimate mental health tool—or just a new way to avoid our feelings?Today’s users aren’t who they used to be. They’re CEOs. Athletes using it for sleep and recovery. People with anxiety trying to get off benzos. Moms who’d rather have an edible than drink three glasses of wine.I’m joined today by Peter Barsoom, founder of 1906—a company making cannabis products designed to help people achieve specific states of mind. We talk about how low-dose, purpose-driven cannabis is becoming part of daily routines for people who never would’ve touched weed in the past.We discuss:Whether cannabis can actually support mental health.What the research says about microdosing THC.Why so many people are replacing alcohol with cannabis.The line between emotional regulation and emotional avoidance.I also share my own experience with weed: how I used it early in life, how I’ve started experimenting with it again, and how I’ve pretty much stopped drinking this past year.If you’ve ever wondered whether cannabis is helping you—or just numbing you—this conversation is for you.Xxoo DarcyREFERENCES/RESOURCESwww.alternativescounseling.comhttps://www.askdrdarcy.com/podcast-resources/CREDITS“We Need To Talk With Dr. Darcy Sterling” is a Sterling Standard Production. Editing and sound engineering by Bart Migal. Our theme music is by Trending Music. Special thanks to Amanda Cristiani and Robyn Jaenchen.  DISCLAIMERInstagram:@drdarcysterling Facebook:Dr.Darcy SterlingTik Tok:@doctordarcysterling  X:@DrDarcySterling   YouTube:@DarcySterling   Threads:@drdarcysterlingWatch this episode here on YouTube.