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What Fresh Hell: Laughing in the Face of Motherhood

What Fresh Hell: Laughing in the Face of Motherhood

Author: Margaret Ables and Amy Wilson

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Hosted by funny moms Margaret Ables and Amy Wilson, “What Fresh Hell: Laughing in the Face of Motherhood” is a comedy podcast about the never-ending "fresh hells" of parenting.

Amy and Margaret are each moms of three, dealing with the same hassles as any parent– but with completely different parenting styles. Margaret is laid-back to the max; Amy never met a spreadsheet she didn't like.

We offer three episodes each week:


  • "Question of the Week" on Mondays

  • regular weekly episodes on Wednesdays

  • "Fresh Take" interview with experts and authors on Fridays

Join us as we laugh in the face of motherhood!

Winner of the 2018 Mom 2.0 Iris Award for Best Podcast and the 2017 Podcast Awards People’s Choice for Best Family and Parenting Podcast, and finalist for the 2019 Romper's Parent's Choice Award.

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It can be confusing and a little concerning when a toddler suddenly develops a stutter or a stammer. A member of our Facebook group asked: My daughter (27 months) seems to have recently developed a stammer/stutter, or maybe it has just gotten to the point where we notice it now. Instead of saying "Can I have that?" like she used to, she now says "Ca- ca- ca- can I have that?". It's usually only at the beginning of a sentence or thought, and most often when she is excited. But it's happening a lot. Part of me thinks it's nothing to get too worried over as she is only two, she's still developing her language skills, and it's more prevalent when she is excited. And the other part of me is a little worried. I've heard it's best to just wait patiently for her to finish her thought and that's what I usually do, although my husband keeps telling her to think about what she wants to say before saying it. If anyone has gone through this with their little one, did it resolve itself? How? When? What's the best approach? Stuttering in toddlers is very common, because children's language acquisition skills are more like a zigzag than a straight line. Sometimes stuttering can show up when a child's speech and language development lags behind what he or she needs or wants to say. It's definitely best for you and your partner to be on the same page about ignoring the stutter. Don't finish her sentences, tell her to slow down, or do other things to draw more attention to it. Your daughter may not even be aware it's happening, which is actually a positive indicator. But "ignore it" doesn't necessarily mean "never get a professional opinion or seek therapeutic support." Sometimes speech therapy is required. But at your daughter's age it's too early to make that call. You're in the collecting information stage. Don't worry about the stuttering– it's a typical stage in childhood speech development– but do keep a few notes about when it comes and goes, and mention it at your next pediatric visit. Two useful resources: http://www.coloradostutteringtherapy.com/childhood-stuttering/ https://www.stutteringhelp.org/differential-diagnosis Special thanks to our "Question of the Week" sponsor: Jane.com is a boutique marketplace featuring the latest in women’s fashion, accessories, home decor, children’s clothing, and more. By shopping at jane.com, you support small businesses, 1500 of which are women-owned. And you will not believe the prices! Visit jane.com/laughing. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Margaret "Maggie" Quinlan and Bethany Johnson are the co-authors of the book You’re Doing it Wrong! Mothering, Media and Medical Expertise. This book investigates the history of mothering advice in the media, from the 19th century to today, and the processes by which mothering has been defined, from getting pregnant to being pregnant to giving birth to whether "that baby" needs a hat on. Like most moms, Maggie and Bethany questioned their own parenting decisions because they understood their choices would be met with scrutiny exercised in few other arenas. They suggest that the first step to freeing ourselves from the socially prescribed perfectionism of motherhood is to realize that no matter what you decide, there will always be someone telling you "you're doing it wrong." Margaret "Maggie" Quinlan is a Professor of Communication at the University of North Carolina at Charlotte. She explores how communication creates, resists and transforms knowledges about bodies, and critiques power structures that marginalize certain people both inside and outside of healthcare systems. Bethany Johnson is a PHD candidate at the University of South Carolina. She studies how science, medical technology, and public health discourses are framed and reproduced by those with structural power. Get YOU'RE DOING IT WRONG! in our Bookshop store: https://bookshop.org/books/you-re-doing-it-wrong-mothering-media-and-medical-expertise/9780813593784. To find out more about their work: http://johnsonquinlanresearch.com. Special thanks to this month's sponsors:   Looking for another great parenting podcast? StrollerCoaster: A Parenting Podcast is created by Munchkin, the most beloved baby brand in the world. Follow or subscribe wherever you listen! Jane.com is a boutique marketplace featuring the latest in women’s fashion, accessories, home decor, children’s clothing, and more. You will not believe the prices! Visit jane.com/laughing. Usual Wines come in single-serve six-ounce bottles– about a glass and a half of wine. They’ve got a red blend, a rosé, a sparkling white, plus Usual Spritz, a low-calorie wine cooler. Each has just 83 calories- and they're fermented until there's no more sugar. Get $8 off your first order at usualwines.com with the code FRESHHELL. Hooked on Phonics is the learn-to-read program that has helped over 6 million kids learn to read. And now it offers a multi-sensory approach, which uniquely combines an amazing app with hands-on learning materials shipped to your home every month. Get your first month for just $1 by going to hookedonphonics.com/laughing. Olive gets you consolidated, cardboard-free deliveries from over 100 of your favorite fashion sites. No cardboard-box waste! Returns are a snap. Best of all, you can sign up for free, at shopolive.com. Literati delivers their monthly book picks straight to your door, so you can spend less time finding a good book and more time actually reading one. And their app lets you chat about the books with the whole Literati community. Redeem your FREE trial at literati.com/whatfreshhell. Quince is a game-changer for your wardrobe and your home, with high-quality essentials at prices 50-80% less than other brands. Free shipping and 365-day returns at onequince.com/fresh. Magic Spoon is breakfast cereal that's keto-friendly, gluten-free, grain-free, soy-free, low carb, and GMO-free. Go to magicspoon.com/fresh to grab the new limited edition Birthday Cake flavor today! And use code FRESH at checkout to save $5 off. Parade makes creative underwear and bralettes in a variety of sizes from extra small to 3 XL. Supersoft, super-cute, and prices that start at $8! Get 25% off when you spend $40 or more at yourparade.com/wfh with code WFH.  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
It's hard to admit things aren't perfect. It's especially hard for moms. Psychologists Paul Hewitt and Gordon Flett described three types of perfectionism in the 1990s: self-directed (I must be a size 2), others-directed (do that piano exercise again until you get it right), and "socially mediated" perfectionism, which comes from society making unrealistic demands of a person or a group and punishes that person when she falls short. Sound familiar? Turns out the amount of socially mediated perfectionism a parent feels is directly related to her level of "parental burnout," defined as exhaustion in one’s role as a parent, feelings of being fed up as a parent, and even emotional distancing from one’s children. Not the place any of us want to get to. So why is it so hard to admit things aren't perfect? And how can we start? Here are links to some of the research on the topic that we discuss in this episode: Fatemeh Ghanbari Jahromia et al: The relationship between socially prescribed perfectionism and depression: The mediating role of maladaptive cognitive schemas  Paul Hewitt and Gordon Flett: Perfectionism in the Self and Social Contexts Matilda Sorkkila and Kaisa Aunola: Risk Factors for Parental Burnout among Finnish Parents: The Role of Socially Prescribed Perfectionism Special thanks to this month's sponsors:   Looking for another great parenting podcast? StrollerCoaster: A Parenting Podcast is created by Munchkin, the most beloved baby brand in the world. Follow or subscribe wherever you listen! Jane.com is a boutique marketplace featuring the latest in women’s fashion, accessories, home decor, children’s clothing, and more. You will not believe the prices! Visit jane.com/laughing. Usual Wines come in single-serve six-ounce bottles– about a glass and a half of wine. They’ve got a red blend, a rosé, a sparkling white, plus Usual Spritz, a low-calorie wine cooler. Each has just 83 calories- and they're fermented until there's no more sugar. Get $8 off your first order at usualwines.com with the code FRESHHELL. Hooked on Phonics is the learn-to-read program that has helped over 6 million kids learn to read. And now it offers a multi-sensory approach, which uniquely combines an amazing app with hands-on learning materials shipped to your home every month. Get your first month for just $1 by going to hookedonphonics.com/laughing. Olive gets you consolidated, cardboard-free deliveries from over 100 of your favorite fashion sites. No cardboard-box waste! Returns are a snap. Best of all, you can sign up for free, at shopolive.com. Literati delivers their monthly book picks straight to your door, so you can spend less time finding a good book and more time actually reading one. And their app lets you chat about the books with the whole Literati community. Redeem your FREE trial at literati.com/whatfreshhell. Quince is a game-changer for your wardrobe and your home, with high-quality essentials at prices 50-80% less than other brands. Free shipping and 365-day returns at onequince.com/fresh. Magic Spoon is breakfast cereal that's keto-friendly, gluten-free, grain-free, soy-free, low carb, and GMO-free. Go to magicspoon.com/fresh to grab the new limited edition Birthday Cake flavor today! And use code FRESH at checkout to save $5 off. Parade makes creative underwear and bralettes in a variety of sizes from extra small to 3 XL. Supersoft, super-cute, and prices that start at $8! Get 25% off when you spend $40 or more at yourparade.com/wfh with code WFH.  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
It's another bonus episode of TODDLER PURGATORY- and the last one you'll be seeing on What Fresh Hell, at least for now! Subscribe or follow "Toddler Purgatory" wherever you listen to podcasts, so you'll never miss an episode. You can find links to lots of places to listen at toddlerpurgatory.com. Kids are bananas. Some particularly so. But why are some kids seemingly born to scale the kitchen cabinets before they can walk? And are there are any future upsides to having been a “danger baby”?  In this episode of Toddler Purgatory, Molly and Blaire discuss the many benefits of “free play,” the differences between danger and risk, how we can teach our little ones to be safely courageous, and what child development specialist Rebecca Weingarten calls “constructive failure.” Here are links to some of the writing on the topic and other things discussed in this episode:  https://health.usnews.com/wellness/for-parents/articles/2017-05-11/9-ways-to-cultivate-courage-in-kids https://www.todaysparent.com/kids/kids-health/why-our-kids-should-take-risks-sometimes-even-slightly-dangerous-ones/ Shakira’s song “Waka Waka (This Time for Africa)” https://youtu.be/pRpeEdMmmQ0 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
One question we get over and over again is about dealing with grandparents who say to our kids, "I want to– but your mom won't let me." We have a general guideline that you only have three times available to speak to your parents or in-laws about things they do that bother you. This "Rule of Three" forces us to consider whether any given issue is worth discussing, and most importantly, whether it is the rare behavior that might actually be changed by having a confrontational conversation about it. With the issue of undermining, Margaret thinks it might be worth a try. Sit down and have a conversation where you simply say, "When you say that you'd like to do something that my kids wants, only I won't allow it, it hurts my feelings, and it makes it harder for me to enforce the rules that are important to me." If this simple statement doesn't change this behavior long-term (spoiler alert: it probably won't) then the next step is to respond by restating your rules and your reasoning to your children, each and every time this happens. When Grandma says, "I would love to buy you ice cream, but your mom won't let me!" you respond, "That's right, because the rule in our house is that we have one dessert a day, and you had ice cream after lunch." As you calmly and directly restate your rules, you neutralize any attempt to undermine you. It may also help to restate rules before things come up, and in front of the undermining grandparent, "We're going to Target to get a new bathing suit but let's remember we're not buying any toys today." It's important to remember that the occasional annoying comment where Grandma sides with your kid will have few actual consequences. Your kid is not going to be led wildly astray by Grandma's remarks. The best thing to do about it is probably to vent (briefly) to a friend or Facebook group about how annoying it is, and then move on. If you keep your own rules clear, and restate them when contradictory statements are made, your kids will stay clear on who is really in charge. Special thanks to our "Question of the Week" sponsor: Jane.com is a boutique marketplace featuring the latest in women’s fashion, accessories, home decor, children’s clothing, and more. By shopping at jane.com, you support small businesses, 1500 of which are women-owned. And you will not believe the prices! Visit jane.com/laughing. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Ellen Kahn is the Senior Director of Programs and Partnerships at the Human Rights Campaign. In her role, Ellen provides national leadership and expertise in public education and advocacy efforts on behalf of LGBTQ youth and families. Ellen is nationally recognized as an expert on LGBTQ family life and LGBTQ youth. She's also a proud mom of two teenage daughters. In this interview, Ellen explains how parents can create a home environment that affirms and accepts LGBTQ children, and how to advocate for LGBTQ kids in the larger world– whether they're our own children or not. As Ellen explains: "It's all of us together, chiseling away at the reason parents can be fearful when they find out their child is LGBTQ. Let's just not raise bullies anymore." Here are a few additional resources mentioned in this episode: Human Rights Campaign's welcomingschools.org pflag.org "Serendipitydodah- Home of the Mama Bears" Facebook group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/Serendipitydodah Special thanks to this month's sponsors:   Looking for another great parenting podcast? StrollerCoaster: A Parenting Podcast is created by Munchkin, the most beloved baby brand in the world. Follow or subscribe wherever you listen! Jane.com is a boutique marketplace featuring the latest in women’s fashion, accessories, home decor, children’s clothing, and more. You will not believe the prices! Visit jane.com/laughing. Usual Wines come in single-serve six-ounce bottles– about a glass and a half of wine. They’ve got a red blend, a rosé, a sparkling white, plus Usual Spritz, a low-calorie wine cooler. Each has just 83 calories- and they're fermented until there's no more sugar. Get $8 off your first order at usualwines.com with the code FRESHHELL. Hooked on Phonics is the learn-to-read program that has helped over 6 million kids learn to read. And now it offers a multi-sensory approach, which uniquely combines an amazing app with hands-on learning materials shipped to your home every month. Get your first month for just $1 by going to hookedonphonics.com/laughing. Olive gets you consolidated, cardboard-free deliveries from over 100 of your favorite fashion sites. No cardboard-box waste! Returns are a snap. Best of all, you can sign up for free, at shopolive.com. Literati delivers their monthly book picks straight to your door, so you can spend less time finding a good book and more time actually reading one. And their app lets you chat about the books with the whole Literati community. Redeem your FREE trial at literati.com/whatfreshhell. Quince is a game-changer for your wardrobe and your home, with high-quality essentials at prices 50-80% less than other brands. Free shipping and 365-day returns at onequince.com/fresh. Magic Spoon is breakfast cereal that's keto-friendly, gluten-free, grain-free, soy-free, low carb, and GMO-free. Go to magicspoon.com/fresh to grab the new limited edition Birthday Cake flavor today! And use code FRESH at checkout to save $5 off. Parade makes creative underwear and bralettes in a variety of sizes from extra small to 3 XL. Supersoft, super-cute, and prices that start at $8! Get 25% off when you spend $40 or more at yourparade.com/wfh with code WFH.  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Our merch store is live! Get your T-shirts, hoodies, onesies, and notebooks: bit.ly/whatfreshmerch. An "Achilles Heel" is a weakness in spite of overall strength. If exploited by our enemies, that small area of vulnerability can be responsible for our total, tragic downfall. This week we asked the members of our Facebook group to tell us their greatest weaknesses as parents and humans. From whistling to growth spurts to the constant, constant talking, in this episode we (and our listeners) fess up. We figured this out while recording this episode: our weaknesses and strengths are two sides of the same coin. Amy's superpower is organization; her downfall is an inability to relax amidst even mild chaos. Margaret's superpower is fun; her weak spots include the unfortunately large parenting categories of Things That Aren't Fun. Whatever your Achilles heel may be, keep in mind the "in spite of overall strength" part. All in all, you're doing great. Special thanks to this month's sponsors:   Looking for another great parenting podcast? StrollerCoaster: A Parenting Podcast is created by Munchkin, the most beloved baby brand in the world. Follow or subscribe wherever you listen! Jane.com is a boutique marketplace featuring the latest in women’s fashion, accessories, home decor, children’s clothing, and more. You will not believe the prices! Visit jane.com/laughing. Usual Wines come in single-serve six-ounce bottles– about a glass and a half of wine. They’ve got a red blend, a rosé, a sparkling white, plus Usual Spritz, a low-calorie wine cooler. Each has just 83 calories- and they're fermented until there's no more sugar. Get $8 off your first order at usualwines.com with the code FRESHHELL. Hooked on Phonics is the learn-to-read program that has helped over 6 million kids learn to read. And now it offers a multi-sensory approach, which uniquely combines an amazing app with hands-on learning materials shipped to your home every month. Get your first month for just $1 by going to hookedonphonics.com/laughing. Olive gets you consolidated, cardboard-free deliveries from over 100 of your favorite fashion sites. No cardboard-box waste! Returns are a snap. Best of all, you can sign up for free, at shopolive.com. Literati delivers their monthly book picks straight to your door, so you can spend less time finding a good book and more time actually reading one. And their app lets you chat about the books with the whole Literati community. Redeem your FREE trial at literati.com/whatfreshhell. Quince is a game-changer for your wardrobe and your home, with high-quality essentials at prices 50-80% less than other brands. Free shipping and 365-day returns at onequince.com/fresh. Magic Spoon is breakfast cereal that's keto-friendly, gluten-free, grain-free, soy-free, low carb, and GMO-free. Go to magicspoon.com/fresh to grab the new limited edition Birthday Cake flavor today! And use code FRESH at checkout to save $5 off. Parade makes creative underwear and bralettes in a variety of sizes from extra small to 3 XL. Supersoft, super-cute, and prices that start at $8! Get 25% off when you spend $40 or more at yourparade.com/wfh with code WFH.  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
How can a mom whose only parenting experience has been during Covid feel okay about protecting her newborn in a post-pandemic world? A listener emailed us to say: I am pregnant with my second baby, due in September. Now that we are starting to see the light at the end of the tunnel I don't think I know how to be a mom in a post-COVID world. I have learned how to be a parent during a pandemic and that is my family's "normal," it's all we know!  Our family and friends have already started talking about how they can't wait to be able to come to my house and hold the baby when he's born, now that COVID is "over". We've been invited to huge family Thanksgiving and Christmas celebrations (to make-up for missing last year) and I am already freaking out! Company with a newborn? Nope, not for me. After explaining my feelings to my husband, he and I agreed we will not allow visitors to our home for [at least] the first month after I have the new baby. Give it to me straight... am I being ridiculous and unfair? I realize my family and friends did not get to experience my first born's first months because of the pandemic, but I am feeling pretty strongly about doing it without company again. Second question... how do I learn how to be a post-pandemic mom? Do I go back and listen to old episodes you both taped before the world turned upside down, or do you think parenting has changed forever!? -Sincerely, Isolated, Stubborn, and Not Sorry We think there are only a few times in your life when what you say goes: your wedding, your big birthdays, and what happens with your newborns when they come home from the hospital. You are entirely entitled to make the decisions that feel safest for your family, and others are entitled to like those decisions or not. But we suggest that it's too early to decide what will happen at the holidays this year. You shouldn't be receiving undue pressure to attend, but you don't have to rule it all out yet, either. We're still very much in a "still collecting information" phase. Once the calendar says November, then you can make a decision about Thanksgiving, based on the most up-to-date information– and your comfort levels– at that time. Becoming a "post-pandemic mom" might be a very gradual process for you, and that's okay. Take advantage of warmer weather to do things outside; keep masks on if that makes you more comfortable; and don't accept the burden of Other People's Feelings About That. Better days are already here and are almost certainly in our future, and you will feel more comfortable– but on your own timeline. Jane.com is a boutique marketplace featuring the latest in women’s fashion, accessories, home decor, children’s clothing, and more. By shopping at jane.com, you support small businesses, 1500 of which are women-owned. And you will not believe the prices! Visit jane.com/laughing. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Kira Dorrian and Deana Thayer are parent coaches and authors who are passionate about preparing families to thrive on their parenting journeys. They're the co-founders of Future Focused Parenting, the parenting philosophy that starts with the end in mind, thereby encouraging families to make intentional parenting choices. They are also co-hosts of the Raising Adults Podcast where they discuss parenting with a long-range view. In this "Fresh Take" interview, Kira and Dorrian explain the benefits of future-focused parenting, and how it can make our daily parenting decisions clearer– both for ourselves and for our kids. Follow Kira and Deana, and find out more about their work, at http://bit.ly/raisingadultspodcast. Special thanks to this month's sponsors:   Looking for another great parenting podcast? StrollerCoaster: A Parenting Podcast is created by Munchkin, the most beloved baby brand in the world. Follow or subscribe wherever you listen! Jane.com is a boutique marketplace featuring the latest in women’s fashion, accessories, home decor, children’s clothing, and more. You will not believe the prices! Visit jane.com/laughing. Usual Wines come in single-serve six-ounce bottles– about a glass and a half of wine. They’ve got a red blend, a rosé, a sparkling white, plus Usual Spritz, a low-calorie wine cooler. Each has just 83 calories- and they're fermented until there's no more sugar. Get $8 off your first order at usualwines.com with the code FRESHHELL. Hooked on Phonics is the learn-to-read program that has helped over 6 million kids learn to read. And now it offers a multi-sensory approach, which uniquely combines an amazing app with hands-on learning materials shipped to your home every month. Get your first month for just $1 by going to hookedonphonics.com/laughing. Olive gets you consolidated, cardboard-free deliveries from over 100 of your favorite fashion sites. No cardboard-box waste! Returns are a snap. Best of all, you can sign up for free, at shopolive.com. Literati delivers their monthly book picks straight to your door, so you can spend less time finding a good book and more time actually reading one. And their app lets you chat about the books with the whole Literati community. Redeem your FREE trial at literati.com/whatfreshhell. Quince is a game-changer for your wardrobe and your home, with high-quality essentials at prices 50-80% less than other brands. Free shipping and 365-day returns at onequince.com/fresh. Magic Spoon is breakfast cereal that's keto-friendly, gluten-free, grain-free, soy-free, low carb, and GMO-free. Go to magicspoon.com/fresh to grab the new limited edition Birthday Cake flavor today! And use code FRESH at checkout to save $5 off. Parade makes creative underwear and bralettes in a variety of sizes from extra small to 3 XL. Supersoft, super-cute, and prices that start at $8! Get 25% off when you spend $40 or more at yourparade.com/wfh with code WFH.  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
The pandemic shrunk our social circles, first literally and then metaphorically. Our time for ourselves evaporated, and with that any chance of catching up with our best friend– even if she lived two blocks away. We lost the once-a -month lunch friends, the "micro-interactions" with strangers, and even the overheard conversations that spark our curiosity and feed us more than we ever realized. But picking something back up, after you've put it down for a long time, can make it seem surprisingly heavy. As the restrictions end, and we can see all of the people all of the time, we've been surprised by our own conflicting emotions about it all. Dr. Marlee Bower, a loneliness researcher at the University of Sydney, explains that "an extended period of loneliness can make social interaction feel more challenging in the longer term." In this episode we talk about how we're alternating periods of social-butterfly celebration with days we still want to hide under the covers. It's a process, and we're all feeling it. Here's how to get a little more intentional about reestablishing those friendships we have missed the most. Here are links to some of the writing on the topic that we discuss in this episode: Arthur Brooks for The Atlantic: A Once In A Lifetime Chance To Start Over Celina Ribiero for BBC Worklife: How lockdowns are changing our friendship groups Catherine Pearson for HuffPost: Moms Have Held Everything Together This Past Year, Except Their Friendships Kelcey Borreson for HuffPost: Some Friendships Are Taking A ‘Pandemic Pause’ And That’s All Right Anna Goldfarb for New York Times: “How to Deal With a Friendship ‘Quiet Season,’ Kat Vellos on Twitter Special thanks to this month's sponsors:   Looking for another great parenting podcast? StrollerCoaster: A Parenting Podcast is created by Munchkin, the most beloved baby brand in the world. Follow or subscribe wherever you listen! Jane.com is a boutique marketplace featuring the latest in women’s fashion, accessories, home decor, children’s clothing, and more. You will not believe the prices! Visit jane.com/laughing. Usual Wines come in single-serve six-ounce bottles– about a glass and a half of wine. They’ve got a red blend, a rosé, a sparkling white, plus Usual Spritz, a low-calorie wine cooler. Each has just 83 calories- and they're fermented until there's no more sugar. Get $8 off your first order at usualwines.com with the code FRESHHELL. Hooked on Phonics is the learn-to-read program that has helped over 6 million kids learn to read. And now it offers a multi-sensory approach, which uniquely combines an amazing app with hands-on learning materials shipped to your home every month. Get your first month for just $1 by going to hookedonphonics.com/laughing. Olive gets you consolidated, cardboard-free deliveries from over 100 of your favorite fashion sites. No cardboard-box waste! Returns are a snap. Best of all, you can sign up for free, at shopolive.com. Literati delivers their monthly book picks straight to your door, so you can spend less time finding a good book and more time actually reading one. And their app lets you chat about the books with the whole Literati community. Redeem your FREE trial at literati.com/whatfreshhell. Quince is a game-changer for your wardrobe and your home, with high-quality essentials at prices 50-80% less than other brands. Free shipping and 365-day returns at onequince.com/fresh. Magic Spoon is breakfast cereal that's keto-friendly, gluten-free, grain-free, soy-free, low carb, and GMO-free. Go to magicspoon.com/fresh to grab the new limited edition Birthday Cake flavor today! And use code FRESH at checkout to save $5 off. Parade makes creative underwear and bralettes in a variety of sizes from extra small to 3 XL. Supersoft, super-cute, and prices that start at $8! Get 25% off when you spend $40 or more at yourparade.com/wfh with code WFH.  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Help a new podcast out! Hit "Follow" or "Subscribe" wherever you listen to Toddler Purgatory! Why are little kids obsessed with the most random things? If your little one has ever insisted on sleeping with a hairbrush, or going to preschool every morning with the same tiny school bus clenched in her fist, you know exactly what Blaire and Molly are talking about in the latest episode of "Toddler Purgatory." Little kids' brains are wired for what psychologists call "extremely intense interests." These obsessions offer dependability; order and control, in a world where our kids don't have much of either; and even social icebreaking, since that other 3-year-old playing with dinosaurs is probably just as interested in a deep-dive discussion of their many types as your kid is. In the case of construction vehicles and garbage trucks, there's also "cathartic destruction," and who can't use a little of that when they're having a bad day? In this episode, Blaire and Molly discuss their own kids' extremely intense interests and why they make their little ones tick. They also refer to the "Dinosaurs and Trains and Superheroes and Nerf Guns: Boy Obsessions" episode of our podcast, which you can find here: https://www.whatfreshhellpodcast.com/dinosaurs-and-trains-and-superheroes-and-nerf-guns-boy-obsessions/ Special thanks to this month's sponsors:   Looking for another great parenting podcast? StrollerCoaster: A Parenting Podcast is created by Munchkin, the most beloved baby brand in the world. Follow or subscribe wherever you listen! Jane.com is a boutique marketplace featuring the latest in women’s fashion, accessories, home decor, children’s clothing, and more. You will not believe the prices! Visit jane.com/laughing. Usual Wines come in single-serve six-ounce bottles– about a glass and a half of wine. They’ve got a red blend, a rosé, a sparkling white, plus Usual Spritz, a low-calorie wine cooler. Each has just 83 calories- and they're fermented until there's no more sugar. Get $8 off your first order at usualwines.com with the code FRESHHELL. Hooked on Phonics is the learn-to-read program that has helped over 6 million kids learn to read. And now it offers a multi-sensory approach, which uniquely combines an amazing app with hands-on learning materials shipped to your home every month. Get your first month for just $1 by going to hookedonphonics.com/laughing. Olive gets you consolidated, cardboard-free deliveries from over 100 of your favorite fashion sites. No cardboard-box waste! Returns are a snap. Best of all, you can sign up for free, at shopolive.com. Literati delivers their monthly book picks straight to your door, so you can spend less time finding a good book and more time actually reading one. And their app lets you chat about the books with the whole Literati community. Redeem your FREE trial at literati.com/whatfreshhell. Quince is a game-changer for your wardrobe and your home, with high-quality essentials at prices 50-80% less than other brands. Free shipping and 365-day returns at onequince.com/fresh. Magic Spoon is breakfast cereal that's keto-friendly, gluten-free, grain-free, soy-free, low carb, and GMO-free. Go to magicspoon.com/fresh to grab the new limited edition Birthday Cake flavor today! And use code FRESH at checkout to save $5 off. Parade makes creative underwear and bralettes in a variety of sizes from extra small to 3 XL. Supersoft, super-cute, and prices that start at $8! Get 25% off when you spend $40 or more at yourparade.com/wfh with code WFH.  Zocdoc has you covered! Whether you need a primary care physician, dentist, dermatologist, psychiatrist, eye doctor, or any other specialist, you can find top doctors at zocdoc.com.laughing. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Conversations with kids about consent are tricky. It can be awkward or uncomfortable to talk with kids of any age about sex, but the more often we have these conversations, the more likely our kids will be able to navigate difficult situations. Have conversations about peer pressure, sex, consent, and personal safety as early and as frequently as possible, while keeping these conversations age-appropriate. This week a listener on our Facebook page asks: When and how do I have conversations with my kids about consent? Regarding their bodies.... touching and allowing touch from others (their peers?) How to be safe – physically, emotionally, and with their devices? How they can safely explore their questions and curiosities around sex and sexuality? The notion of consent is important for kids, and useful well before the idea of sex enters their lives. Play is a great place to start having these conversations. Set rules around play that emphasize consent such as: Is everyone playing, or are you shooting Nerf darts at people who are not in the game? When someone says "stop," all play comes to an end, whether or not you think the person saying "stop" actually means it When we play games with our friends, are we reading their social clues well about whether they are enjoying the game as much as we are? Once we help our kids define clear language and rules around consent, then we are ready to include sex, control of their own bodies, and respect for other people's bodies into these conversations as they grow. We can expand our conversations around consent into: the role consent plays in sexual and romantic relationships how peer pressure plays out as kids mature the way drugs and alcohol can complicate consent Margaret cites this article from the Child Mind Institute in this episode: https://childmind.org/article/how-talk-kids-sex-consent-boundaries/ For another great conversation about how to talk to kids - listen to our Fresh Take episode with Michelle Icard: https://www.whatfreshhellpodcast.com/fresh-take-michelle-icard-on-the-14-talks-parents-need-to-have-with-their-kids-before-they-turn-14/ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Our new podcast Toddler Purgatory is live! Life with little ones isn't all bad. It's just... intense. Subscribe or follow wherever you listen so you never miss an episode! Radha Agrawal was named by MTV as “one of 8 women who will change the world.”  She is the co-Founder of Daybreaker, the early morning dance and wellness movement with a community of almost half a million people around the globe. She's recently launched DOSE, a new community with the goal of making joy the same sort of intentional practice as yoga and meditation. And she's the author of the book Belong: Find Your People, Create Community & Live A More Connected Life.  In this Fresh Take we talk to Radha about the intentional practice joy, and the possibilities that exist for us to find our people and build our dream communities from scratch. Find out more about Radha's new project, D.O.S.E. by Daybreaker, at https://collectivejoy.com and find her book BELONG in our Bookshop store: https://bookshop.org/a/12099/9781523502059 Special thanks to this month's sponsors:   Quince is a game-changer for your wardrobe and your home, with high-quality essentials at prices 50-80% less than other brands. Free shipping and 365-day returns at onequince.com/fresh. Magic Spoon is breakfast cereal that's keto-friendly, gluten-free, grain-free, soy-free, low carb, and GMO-free. Go to magicspoon.com/fresh to grab the new limited edition Birthday Cake flavor today! And use code FRESH at checkout to save $5 off. Public Goods is the one-stop shop for high-quality everyday household essentials made from clean ingredients. Get $15 off your first Public Goods order, with no minimum purchase! Go to publicgoods.com/fresh, or use the code FRESH at checkout.  Green Chef is a USDA-certified-organic company with meal plans including Paleo, Plant Powered, Keto, and Balanced Living. Go to greenchef.com/90laughing and use code 90LAUGHING to get $90 off, including free shipping! Jane.com is a boutique marketplace featuring the latest in women’s fashion, accessories, home decor, children’s clothing, and more. You will not believe the prices! Visit jane.com/laughing. Parade makes creative underwear and bralettes in a variety of sizes from extra small to 3 XL. Supersoft, super-cute, and prices that start at $8! Get 25% off when you spend $40 or more at yourparade.com/wfh with code WFH.  Zocdoc has you covered! Whether you need a primary care physician, dentist, dermatologist, psychiatrist, eye doctor, or any other specialist, you can find top doctors at zocdoc.com.laughing. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Our kids’ summer plans keep evolving– for the better and the more confusing. We fill out forms. Then we get emails saying "Forget the old rules, and fill out these three new forms indicating you agree with these new rules." Then things change again. To be clear: thank you, camps and programs and town pools. We're not blaming the people who are most certainly doing their best to keep up, and to give our kids the most typical summer experience possible. But we're all building the plane while we fly it, and figuring out the new rules for this semi-normal summer seems, once again, to be kind of up to us. This week we're talking about our summer plans, our summer maybe-plans, and how we'll decide. Here are links to some of the things we mention in this episode: Mary Laura Philpott for Washington Post: As the world starts to open up, it’s tough to let go Gürbüz Doğan Ekşioğlu's "Venturing Out" https://www.newyorker.com/culture/cover-story/cover-story-2021-05-24 Kathryn Hymes for The Atlantic: Why We Speak More Weirdly At Home Special thanks to this month's sponsors:   Magic Spoon is breakfast cereal that's keto-friendly, gluten-free, grain-free, soy-free, low carb, and GMO-free. Go to magicspoon.com/fresh to grab the new limited edition Birthday Cake flavor today! And use code FRESH at checkout to save $5 off. Public Goods is the one-stop shop for high-quality everyday household essentials made from clean ingredients. Get $15 off your first Public Goods order, with no minimum purchase! Go to publicgoods.com/fresh, or use the code FRESH at checkout.  Green Chef is a USDA-certified-organic company with meal plans including Paleo, Plant Powered, Keto, and Balanced Living. Go to greenchef.com/90laughing and use code 90LAUGHING to get $90 off, including free shipping! Jane.com is a boutique marketplace featuring the latest in women’s fashion, accessories, home decor, children’s clothing, and more. You will not believe the prices! Visit jane.com/laughing. Parade makes creative underwear and bralettes in a variety of sizes from extra small to 3 XL. Supersoft, super-cute, and prices that start at $8! Get 25% off when you spend $40 or more at yourparade.com/wfh with code WFH.  Zocdoc has you covered! Whether you need a primary care physician, dentist, dermatologist, psychiatrist, eye doctor, or any other specialist, you can find top doctors at zocdoc.com.laughing. Quince is a game-changer for your wardrobe and your home, with high-quality essentials at prices 50-80% less than other brands. Free shipping and 365-day returns at onequince.com/fresh. Betterhelp Go to betterhelp.com/fresh to get 10% off your first month of counseling. KiwiCo projects make science, technology, engineering, art, and math super fun– and best of all, kids of all ages can work on them independently! Get 50% off your first month plus FREE shipping on any crate line at kiwico.com with code MOTHERHOOD. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Do you have a kid at home who obsesses over collecting or acquiring the right kinds of things or just all the things in general? If so you are not alone. A listener had this question: What do you all do with a kid who wants ALL the toys? I've got a second grader who insists all his friends' parents buy all the Pokemon cards, and my husband and I are the worst because we refuse to buy every single thing he asks for. He's got a pile full of Pokemon cards, but they're not the cool ones, I guess. We're not going to change our buying habits, but how do we talk about this with him? All kids express a need for control by having strong opinions about things they want and need, but some kids are particularly prone to obsessing over acquiring - ALL - THE - STUFF! Margaret has labeled this phenomenon "the grabby greedies" for her kids. One way to help kids with this is to give them some context. It's important to make a distinction between things that are important to your kids (things they might want to save up for and buy with an allowance) and things that are just shiny and new (things that are being marketed to them through the TV or in their video games). Help your kids understand that things like collectibles (example: Pokémon cards) are designed to make them want to buy more and more, but resist the urge to be dismissive of these kinds of collections by recognizing that they actually have value to your kids. Give kids more control over the things they acquire. Consider a rule where your kid can make independent decisions over what they want for their birthday, even if it's things you consider junky. Give your kids an allowance and allow them to save up for things they want to buy. Have (tough) chores they can do around the house to earn things they want. It's hard when we see our kids obsessing over things we consider to have no value. But the real lesson to impart to kids in this situation is that acquiring the things they want means budgeting, making choices about the value of things, and earning the things they want through patience and/or work. Special thanks to our "Question of the Week" sponsor: Jane.com is a boutique marketplace featuring the latest in women’s fashion, accessories, home decor, children’s clothing, and more. You will not believe the prices! Visit jane.com/laughing. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Our new podcast Toddler Purgatory is live! Life with little ones isn't all bad. It's just... intense. Subscribe or follow wherever you listen so you never miss an episode! Carla Naumburg is a mother, clinical social worker, and author. She is the author of three parenting books, including the bestseller How to Stop Losing Your Sh*t With Your Kids, which not only explains WHY we explode at our children, but also teaches us everything we need to know to decrease stress and increase patience, even in the most challenging family moments. Kids are hard-wired to push our buttons. We are hard-wired to freak out when they're pushed. In this Fresh Take interview, Carla explains how managing our triggers can help us stop the meltdowns. This episode will make you feel less ashamed, more empowered, and a whole lot better. Find How to Stop Losing Your Sh*t With Your Kids in our Bookshop store: https://bookshop.org/a/12099/9781523505425 Special thanks to this month's sponsors:   Quince is a game-changer for your wardrobe and your home, with high-quality essentials at prices 50-80% less than other brands. Free shipping and 365-day returns at onequince.com/fresh. Magic Spoon is breakfast cereal that's keto-friendly, gluten-free, grain-free, soy-free, low carb, and GMO-free. Go to magicspoon.com/fresh to grab the new limited edition Birthday Cake flavor today! And use code FRESH at checkout to save $5 off. Public Goods is the one-stop shop for high-quality everyday household essentials made from clean ingredients. Get $15 off your first Public Goods order, with no minimum purchase! Go to publicgoods.com/fresh, or use the code FRESH at checkout.  Green Chef is a USDA-certified-organic company with meal plans including Paleo, Plant Powered, Keto, and Balanced Living. Go to greenchef.com/90laughing and use code 90LAUGHING to get $90 off, including free shipping! Jane.com is a boutique marketplace featuring the latest in women’s fashion, accessories, home decor, children’s clothing, and more. You will not believe the prices! Visit jane.com/laughing. Parade makes creative underwear and bralettes in a variety of sizes from extra small to 3 XL. Supersoft, super-cute, and prices that start at $8! Get 25% off when you spend $40 or more at yourparade.com/wfh with code WFH.  Zocdoc has you covered! Whether you need a primary care physician, dentist, dermatologist, psychiatrist, eye doctor, or any other specialist, you can find top doctors at zocdoc.com.laughing. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Useless Metrics For Life

Useless Metrics For Life

2021-05-1946:451

These days we're surrounded by trackers– on our wrists, on our water bottles, on our phones. On the one hand, they help us pay attention to the things in our lives that are important to us, and to create new habits. On the other hand, they're crazymakers that give us new reasons to feel bad about ourselves. In this episode we discuss some of metrics for life we do and/or don't live by, like 10,000 steps a day 8 glasses of water a day inbox zero perfect attendance BMI and giant baby head circumferences. Behavioral scientist James Clear says one should "measure to see if you're actually spending time on the things that are important to you." We agree with him– as long as we make room for remembering that 9,000 steps is great, inbox one thousand is totally fine, and "perfect" is always a lie. Here are links to some of the writing on the topic that we discuss in this episode: Michelle Woo for Lifehacker: Your Baby's Head Is Probably Not Gigantic The Conversation: Do We Really Need To Walk 10,000 Steps a Day? John Murphy for MDLinx: 8 glasses of water a day: Myth or medicine? Jackie Spinner for the Washington Post: Perfect attendance awards no longer belong in U.S. schools Lauren Johnson for Slack: Inbox Zero and Other Productivity Myths Special thanks to this month's sponsors:   Magic Spoon is breakfast cereal that's keto-friendly, gluten-free, grain-free, soy-free, low carb, and GMO-free. Go to magicspoon.com/fresh to grab the new limited edition Birthday Cake flavor today! And use code FRESH at checkout to save $5 off. Public Goods is the one-stop shop for high-quality everyday household essentials made from clean ingredients. Get $15 off your first Public Goods order, with no minimum purchase! Go to publicgoods.com/fresh, or use the code FRESH at checkout.  Green Chef is a USDA-certified-organic company with meal plans including Paleo, Plant Powered, Keto, and Balanced Living. Go to greenchef.com/90laughing and use code 90LAUGHING to get $90 off, including free shipping! Jane.com is a boutique marketplace featuring the latest in women’s fashion, accessories, home decor, children’s clothing, and more. You will not believe the prices! Visit jane.com/laughing. Parade makes creative underwear and bralettes in a variety of sizes from extra small to 3 XL. Supersoft, super-cute, and prices that start at $8! Get 25% off when you spend $40 or more at yourparade.com/wfh with code WFH.  Zocdoc has you covered! Whether you need a primary care physician, dentist, dermatologist, psychiatrist, eye doctor, or any other specialist, you can find top doctors at zocdoc.com.laughing. Workplace Comedy Podcast is a hilarious new improv podcast set in a fictional water bottling company, hosted by Emmy Laybourne and Tracy Vilar and a lineup of amazing comedy guests. Subscribe wherever you listen to podcasts! Prose is the healthy hair regimen with your name all over it!  Get 15% off your first order today! Go to prose.com/laughing.  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Aren’t toddlers just the best? Are they not also, at times, the WORST? Blaire Brooks and Molly Lloyd welcome you to Toddler Purgatory, where life with littles is not all bad, but definitely less than perfect. In this premiere episode Blaire and Molly discuss the many challenges of life with the tiny, ruthlessly honest, tantrum-having, often stinky carbon copies of themselves they have running around their respective homes. Check out the first three episodes of Toddler Purgatory right now- and help a new podcast out hitting "subscribe" or "follow" for Toddler Purgatory in your favorite podcast player: Apple Podcasts: https://bit.ly/toddlerpurgatory Spotify: https://spoti.fi/3nYMJbs Google Podcasts: https://podcasts.google.com/feed/aHR0cHM6Ly9mZWVkcy5tZWdhcGhvbmUuZm0vV0ZIMTcyMzIwMDk5Mg== iHeart: https://iheart.com/podcast/81711771/ Stitcher: https://www.stitcher.com/show/toddler-purgatory You can also find the show at toddlerpurgatory.com or on the socials at #toddlerpurgatory. New episodes every other Tuesday! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Does the combination of your kids' squabbling, the repeated clinking of your spouse's cereal spoon, and the Mister Softee jingle send you into a rage-panic? You are not alone. Farrah had this to say on Facebook: Someone talk to me about PARENTAL sensory overload. We have 6 kiddos ages 5-12. I have found that the older I get (or maybe the older they get?) the noise level is less and less tolerable to me. I want to enjoy being around my kids they way I used to, but I find myself simply overwhelmed with the noise. Has anyone else dealt with this or something similar? Any suggestions on dealing with this sensory overload so I can get back to enjoying the company of my kids/ family? Some people really are more sensitive to noise. Dr. Elaine Aron describes "highly sensitive people" and their reactions to auditory input this way: "Highly sensitive persons process information more thoroughly, are more easily stimulated, are more aware of subtle stimuli, are more empathic, and have higher emotional reactivity." In other words, we don't habituate to noise exposure like other people do. Our highly attuned senses are more affected by our environments. And when our nervous systems are already amped up for other reasons— can you think of anything you might have been feeling anxious about over the last year?!– the auditory information on the way to the brain becomes augmented, and it can feel like too much to bear. Amy's a fellow noise-intolerant, and in this episode she goes through the three-step process of control the noise if you can't do that, control your location if you can't do that... time for an intentional reset. Listen for the full rundown, and read more here: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/articles/200804/i-cant-stand-noise https://highlysensitiverefuge.com/ordinary-sounds-overwhelm-highly-sensitive-person/ Special thanks to our "Question of the Week" sponsor: Jane.com is a boutique marketplace featuring the latest in women’s fashion, accessories, home decor, children’s clothing, and more. You will not believe the prices! Visit jane.com/laughing. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Dr. Ilyse Dobrow DiMarco is a clinical psychologist in private practice in Summit, New Jersey. She specializes in helping women use cognitive- behavioral therapy and related evidence-based strategies to navigate the myriad challenges of motherhood. Her writing has been featured in places like Psychology Today and Scary Mommy, as well as on her own blog, www.drcbtmom.com. She lives in New Jersey with her husband and two sons. Her new book is Mom Brain: Proven Strategies to Fight the Anxiety, Guilt, and Overwhelming Emotions of Motherhood. Ilyse's definition of Mom Brain is "the profound cognitive and emotional changes that occur when you have a child and the many aspects of your life (identity, relationships, work life, self-care) that are strongly impacted by these changes." In this episode we discuss the seismic shifts in our priorities that occur when we become mothers, the anxiety that can often result, and the evidence-based strategies that work best to keep us present-moment-focused. Mom Brain is composed of easily digestible sections, so even if you only have 10 minutes to read, you’ll be able to pick up at least one or two solid coping skills. Find it in our Bookshop store: https://bookshop.org/a/12099/9781462540266 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
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Comments (8)

lynn

parents will name a podcast this and then get on your ass about not having kids lol OK 💀

Feb 23rd
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aimee coburn

love this show!!! happy holidays you two!

Dec 23rd
Reply

Jordyn Thayer

My absolute favorite podcast! love you guys ✌

Aug 19th
Reply

Bella Ring

⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

Jan 21st
Reply

Caitlin Brown

You guys are an ear treat as I clean my house. Keep them coming. 😊

Dec 19th
Reply

Bree Baledge

You totally did trigger my Google lol. I am a young mom of two boys and I have to tell you both that you guys are a God send. Your advice has helped so much!

Oct 17th
Reply

Bree Baledge

Idaho is my home and yes please keep the secret!

Sep 13th
Reply

Jessica Miller

I love using ziploc bags for packing. such as separating my sons socks and underwear from my daughter's.

Jun 20th
Reply
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