DiscoverWhat Fresh Hell: Laughing in the Face of Motherhood | Parenting Tips From Funny Moms
What Fresh Hell: Laughing in the Face of Motherhood | Parenting Tips From Funny Moms

What Fresh Hell: Laughing in the Face of Motherhood | Parenting Tips From Funny Moms

Author: Margaret Ables and Amy Wilson

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When you're a parent, every day brings a "fresh hell" to deal with. In other words, there's always something. Think of us as your funny mom friends who are here to remind you: you're not alone, and it won't always be this hard.

We're Amy and Margaret, both busy moms of three kids, but with completely different parenting styles. Margaret is a laid-back to the max; Amy never met a spreadsheet or an organizational system she didn't like.

In each episode of "What Fresh Hell" we offer lots of laughs, but also practical advice, parenting strategies, and tips to empower you in your role as a mom. We explore self-help techniques, as well as ways to prioritize your own needs, combat stress, and despite the invisible workload we all deal with, find joy amidst the chaos of motherhood.

If you've ever wondered "why is my kid..." then one of us has probably been there, and we're here to tell you what we've learned along the way.

We unpack the behaviors and developmental stages of toddlers, tweens, and teenagers, providing insights into their actions and equipping you with effective parenting strategies.

We offer our best parenting tips and skills we've learned. We debate the techniques and studies that are everywhere for parents these days, and get to the bottom of what works best to raise happy, healthy, fairly well-behaved kids, while fostering a positive parent-child relationship.

If you're the default parent in your household, whether you're a busy mom juggling multiple pickups and dropoffs, or a first-time parent seeking guidance, this podcast is your trusted resource. Join our community of supportive mom friends laughing in the face of motherhood!  

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What should we do when all the work we do to run our family's lives is done so successfully that they not only don't acknowledge it—they don't even understand it? How do we help our partners understand that saying "I left the doctor a message, but they didn't call back" does not really count as a completed task? It's all about what's called the "invisible workload." In this episode Amy and Margaret discuss: whether "cognitive labor" (Allison Daminger) or "emotional labor" (Rose Hackman) might be even better terms for what we're talking about pushing back on "weaponized incompetence" the difference between taking on tasks and taking on outcomes The importance of giving voice to invisible labor in front of kids Here are links to some interviews/books we mentioned in the episode: Our interview with Eve Rodsky Mac Daniel for Harvard Radcliffe Institute: "The Unseen Inequity of Cognitive Labor" FAIR PLAY by Eve Rodsky: https://bookshop.org/a/12099/9780525541943 EMOTIONAL LABOR by Rose Hackman: https://bookshop.org/a/12099/9781250777355 THIS AMERICAN EX-WIFE by Lyz Lenz: https://bookshop.org/a/12099/9780593241127 We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: https://www.whatfreshhellpodcast.com/p/promo-codes/ mom friends, funny moms, parenting advice, parenting experts, parenting tips, mothers, families, parenting skills, parenting strategies, parenting styles, busy moms, self-help for moms, manage kid’s behavior, teenager, tween, child development, family activities, family fun, parent child relationship, decluttering, kid-friendly, invisible workload, default parent, emotional labor, Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
We're doing a "Deep Dive" into our past episodes about "getting our kids to...," from listening to what we say the first time, to talking to us about what matters most to them. Find the rest of the episodes in this deep dive series in this Spotify playlist. If a three-year-old can't wait thirty seconds more for dinner, will she grow up to be an impatient adult? Is there anything we can do to teach our kids patience– and should we? Impatience is completely normal in kids (not to mention grownups), but there are ways to help our children develop this skill. It's worth the effort– not to make our kids more compliant and quiet in church, but because patience and overall happiness, as it turns out, are highly correlated. In this episode, Amy and Margaret discuss: Why impatience is developmentally appropriate- and when kids are ready to become more patient The infamous "marshmallow experiment" How to model patience for our kids (and find a little more happiness ourselves) Here are links to some of the resources mentioned in the episode: Steve Calechman for Greater Good Magazine: "How to Help Your Kids Be a Little More Patient" Angel E Navidad for SimplyPsychology: "Marshmallow Test Experiment and Delayed Gratification" Scholastic Parents: "Teaching Patience" Sign up for the What Fresh Hell newsletter! Once a month you’ll get our favorite recent episodes, plus links to other things to read and watch and listen to, and upcoming special events: http://eepurl.com/h8ze3z We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: https://www.whatfreshhellpodcast.com/p/promo-codes/ mom friends, funny moms, parenting advice, parenting experts, parenting tips, mothers, families, parenting skills, parenting strategies, parenting styles, busy moms, self-help for moms, manage kid’s behavior, teenager, tween, child development, family activities, family fun, parent child relationship, decluttering, kid-friendly, invisible workload, default parent, patience for kids Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
How can we get our disabled children the support to which they are entitled? How do we find the confidence that we're adequate enough to provide what they need? Kelley Coleman, parent of a disabled child and author of the new book EVERYTHING NO ONE TELLS YOU ABOUT PARENTING A DISABLED CHILD, provides practical advice and templates for navigating systems and accessing services. Kelley and Amy discuss: Kelley's personal story of parenting her disabled son and the challenges she's faced the frustrating experience of "reinventing the wheel" for each parent of a disabled child why the language of disability matters—and why it was the first thing Kelley had to learn why the best place to get real, practical information is often from other parents—until we become the informed parents Here's where you can find Kelley: https://www.kelleycoleman.com @hellokelleycoleman on IG Buy EVERYTHING NO ONE TELLS YOU ABOUT PARENTING A DISABLED CHILD: https://bookshop.org/a/12099/9780306831706 We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: https://www.whatfreshhellpodcast.com/p/promo-codes/ mom friends, funny moms, parenting advice, parenting experts, parenting tips, mothers, families, parenting skills, parenting strategies, parenting styles, teenager, tween, child development, parent child relationship, default parent, child with disability, disabled child, parenting disabled child, parenting disability, special needs, disability protections, Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
What do we do when one of our kid's moods is affecting everyone else in the house? Whether it's anxiety, frustration, rigidity, or plain old temper tantrums, understanding where it's coming from is the first step. But even when we don't allow emotions to be an excuse poor behavior, that misbehavior can happen anyhow—and walking on eggshells is no way to teach the dysregulated person better emotional skills. In this episode, we discuss: the sometimes hidden needs of the other kids in the house why "fair" is not the same thing as "equal" the single most important factor for positive family well-being Here are links to some of the resources mentioned in the episode: Our episode "When One of Our Kids Is Taking All Our Bandwidth" Nicole Schwarz for imperfectfamilies.com: When The Siblings of a Difficult Child Feel Ignored Leigh Anderson for Lifehacker: What to Do If Your Child's Behavior Is Ruining Your Relationship With Your Partner Pamela Li for Parenting for Bain: Emotional Regulation in Children | A Complete Guide Jane Indergaard for ADHD Newsstand: It's Never About Me: The Hidden Needs of Siblings Sign up for What Fresh Hell Plus on Supporting Cast to get all episodes ad-free, plus monthly bonus episodes. Supporting Cast works right where you already listen! Go to whatfreshhell.supportingcast.fm to subscribe in two taps for just $4.99 a month, or $39.99 a year. We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: https://www.whatfreshhellpodcast.com/p/promo-codes/ mom friends, funny moms, parenting advice, parenting experts, parenting tips, mothers, families, parenting skills, parenting strategies, parenting styles, busy moms, self-help for moms, manage kid’s behavior, teenager, tween, child development, family activities, family fun, parent child relationship, decluttering, kid-friendly, invisible workload, default parent, kids' moods, mood dysregulation, dysregulated, dysregulated kids, dysregulated teen, moody kids, moody teens, Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Today we're sharing an episode of another podcast we’re loving: Pop Culture Moms. Andie and Sabrina are toddler moms and best friends of 20 years. They’re taking their obsession with TV and movies to the next level by talking to celebrities, writers and fellow “scholars” of pop culture about what they can learn from the fictional moms they love most. In this episode: Some of the best moms on TV right now are cartoons. We hear from Deena Margolin and Kristin Gallant, the moms behind parenting resource Big Little Feelings and co-hosts of the podcast, After Bedtime, about what the mothers in Bluey and Daniel Tiger are doing right. Listen to “Pop Culture Moms” here! We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: https://www.whatfreshhellpodcast.com/p/promo-codes/ mom friends, funny moms, parenting advice, parenting experts, parenting tips, mothers, families, parenting skills, parenting strategies, parenting styles, busy moms, self-help for moms, manage kid’s behavior, teenager, tween, child development, family activities, family fun, parent child relationship, decluttering, kid-friendly, invisible workload, default parent, creativity, creative rut, creative inspiration, artist, artistic inspiration Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
We're doing a "Deep Dive" into our past episodes about "getting our kids to...," from listening to what we say the first time, to talking to us about what matters most to them. Find the rest of the episodes in this deep dive series in this Spotify playlist. Getting your kid to talk to you is never easy (unless you’re standing with car keys in hand, front door ajar, 15 minutes late for an appointment). Here are some parenting strategies that work to get kids talking at every age. Based upon empirical evidence, “How was school today?” is the most annoying question a mom could ever ask. So why bother trying?  Because Jennifer Kolari, author of Connected Parenting: How to Raise a Great Kid, says getting our kids to open up is part of our job description: It’s our job as parents to help our kids sort through and process the things that happen to them during the day. “They don’t have the higher-order thinking to do it on their own yet. In this episode we lay out what gets our kids to talk– at every age and stage. Margaret says you have to “talk the talk that arrives.” But Amy comes at it armed with research; if her ninth-grader wants to talk NBA draft, she’s ready to lean in. Both of us plan to work on what Marie Roker Jones calls “listening with the intent to understand.” Here’s links to some research and hilarious takes on this topic that we mention in this episode: Alice Bradley for Lifehacker Offspring: Stop Asking Your Kid About Their Day Marie Roker-Jones for Good Men Project: 10 Ways to Get Your Son to Open Up and Talk to You Clare Gagne for Today’s Parent: Age-By-Age Guide To Getting Your Kid To Talk Liz Evans for Huffington Post: 25 Ways to Ask Your Kids ‘So How Was School Today?’ Without Asking Them ‘So How Was School Today?’ The Ungame  …and some perfect viewing for you and your teenager: Maddie Corman’s wonderful short film How Was Your Day? How do you get your kids to open up? Let us know! We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: https://www.whatfreshhellpodcast.com/p/promo-codes/ mom friends, funny moms, parenting advice, parenting experts, parenting tips, mothers, families, parenting skills, parenting strategies, parenting styles, busy moms, self-help for moms, manage kid’s behavior, teenager, tween, child development, family activities, family fun, parent child relationship, decluttering, kid-friendly, invisible workload, default parent, talking to your kids, talking to my kid, Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
How can we make the parent-child relationship peaceful and enjoyable? Simone Davies and Junnifa Uzodike, authors of THE MONTESSORI CHILD, explain Montessori parenting strategies and why they're useful for raising independent children. Simone Davies hosts the blog The Montessori Notebook, and Junnifa Uzodike sits on the executive board of the International Montessori Association and runs a school in Abuja, Nigeria. Simone, Junnifa, and Margaret discuss: The core tenets of the Montessori parenting philosophy What it means to be a parental guide to our children How Montessori parenting differs from other parenting styles Here's where you can find Simone and Junnifa: @themontessorinotebook @montessori_nduoma Buy THE MONTESSORI CHILD: https://bookshop.org/a/12099/9781523512416 We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: https://www.whatfreshhellpodcast.com/p/promo-codes/ mom friends, funny moms, parenting advice, parenting experts, parenting tips, mothers, families, parenting skills, parenting strategies, parenting styles, busy moms, self-help for moms, manage kid’s behavior, teenager, tween, child development, family activities, family fun, parent child relationship, decluttering, kid-friendly, invisible workload, default parent, montessori school, montessori parenting Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Is creativity the domain of artists and artists alone? How do we get unstuck when we haven't picked up a paintbrush in decades? Blaire Brooks and Molly Lloyd, former hosts of "Toddler Purgatory" and now co-hosts of "Unsticking It," discuss why creativity is accessible to and crucial for everyone, no matter who they are. Blaire, Molly, Amy, and Margaret discuss: How to disentangle yourself from the "hamster wheel" of everyday life How famous artists have found inspiration for their great works The overlap between creativity and motherhood Here's where you can find Blaire and Molly: Listen to Unsticking It with Blaire and Molly @unsticking_it_podcast on IG Watch Molly in her State Farm commercial with Ludacris! We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: https://www.whatfreshhellpodcast.com/p/promo-codes/ mom friends, funny moms, parenting advice, parenting experts, parenting tips, mothers, families, parenting skills, parenting strategies, parenting styles, busy moms, self-help for moms, manage kid’s behavior, teenager, tween, child development, family activities, family fun, parent child relationship, decluttering, kid-friendly, invisible workload, default parent, creativity, creative rut, creative inspiration, artist, artistic inspiration Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
We're doing a "Deep Dive" into our past episodes about "getting our kids to...," from listening to what we say the first time, to talking to us about what matters most to them. Find the rest of the episodes in this deep dive series in this Spotify playlist. How do we get our kids to listen to us and do as we ask, without too many tears on either side? Here are some parenting tips for encouraging cooperation in kids (and modeling it ourselves.) Our listener Alison asked: I would love some insight into engaging the cooperation of my two boys, 5 and almost 3 years old. At what age is it reasonable to expect them to put away their toys, stay seated for meals, get in the bath without mind games, and get ready for bed in less than 60 minutes? They are capable, but rarely willing, and 8 out of 10 times it's an ordeal. We have routines, we announce transitions in advance, we give them choices and even try to make it fun, but I feel like I am either haranguing them constantly or seething with resentment or both. Do I just accept this is the season of my life? Is cooperation 2 out of 10 times a victory?  Getting kids who are younger than three to "do their share" without a lot of coaxing and singing and clapping is pretty tough. Then when they're about six, kids' "fairness radar" kicks in, and they're much less focused on loading the dishwasher than on complaining about who is not currently helping.  So there are roadblocks to kids' cooperation, to be sure, and in this episode we discuss: whether "whistling while they work" might be too much to ask how "connecting before directing" works for older kids how we can model cooperation and hope our kids get the hint. (It's worth a shot.) Here are links to some other writing and books that we discuss in this episode: Our Fresh Take with Michaeleen Doucleff Cameron Kleimo for Motherly: How to get your kids to listen—without yelling Shelley Phillips for Lifehack: 6 Secrets to Getting Kids to Cooperate Terry Orlick: Cooperative Games and Sports  Frank McCourt: Angela's Ashes Lemony Snicket: A Series of Unfortunate Events We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: https://www.whatfreshhellpodcast.com/p/promo-codes/ mom friends, funny moms, parenting advice, parenting experts, parenting tips, mothers, families, parenting skills, parenting strategies, parenting styles, busy moms, self-help for moms, manage kid’s behavior, teenager, tween, child development, family activities, family fun, parent child relationship, decluttering, kid-friendly, invisible workload, default parent Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
What is the happy parenting medium between raising our kids with zero boundaries, and yelling until we're blue in the face? Gwenna Laithland is creator of the wildly popular @mommacusses on TikTok and Instagram, and author of the new book Momma Cusses: A Field Guide to Responsive Parenting & Trying Not to Be the Reason Your Kid Needs Therapy. Gwenna explains in this interview how she eventually found her way to what she calls "responsive parenting." We also discuss: why there's no such thing as a "parenting expert" how responsive parenting helps parents become more intentional, empathetic, and emotionally available how helping kids regulate their emotions has to start with our modeling how to regulate our own . Here's where you can find Momma Cusses: @mommacusses on TikTok and Instagram @thismommacusses on Facebook Pleasant Peasant Media on YouTube buy the MOMMA CUSSES book! https://bookshop.org/a/12099/9781250882660 We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: https://www.whatfreshhellpodcast.com/p/promo-codes/ mom friends, funny moms, parenting advice, parenting experts, parenting tips, mothers, families, parenting skills, parenting strategies, parenting styles, busy moms, self-help for moms, manage kid’s behavior, teenager, tween, child development, family activities, family fun, parent child relationship, decluttering, kid-friendly, invisible workload, default parent, gentle parenting, responsive parenting Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Two Things Can Be True

Two Things Can Be True

2024-03-0646:49

In a disagreement two things can feel like opposites—but it can still be a fact that both things are true. You wish they'd listen; they wish you'd not get so angry. Your kid isn't going to that unsupervised sleepover; your kid is going to be furious about that for weeks. When we start allowing for coexisting differences of opinion—when we stop feeling like the other person can only be super-wrong before we get what we want—something like change can start to occur. The idea that two things can be true dates back to the ancient Greeks, and in this episode, we discuss the history of dialectical thinking why our lizard brains love to overcategorize how we can use the "two things can be true" script in our parenting We're still figuring out how this works for ourselves, but the effort seems well worth it. Here are links to some of the resources mentioned in the episode: Dr. Becky on Instagram: How to Respond to Pushback With Firmness and Connection Raising Good Humans with Dr. Aliza Pressman: Two Things Can Be True Paul Sonderegger for Quartz: Forget the Turing Test—give AI the F. Scott Fitzgerald Test instead Steven Reidbrd M.D. for Psychology Today: "Dialectics in Psychotherapy" Oakwise Counseling: "Two Opposing Things Can Be True" The poem "Good Bones" by Maggie Smith We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: https://www.whatfreshhellpodcast.com/p/promo-codes/ mom friends, funny moms, parenting advice, parenting experts, parenting tips, mothers, families, parenting skills, parenting strategies, parenting styles, busy moms, self-help for moms, manage kid’s behavior, teenager, tween, child development, family activities, family fun, parent child relationship, decluttering, kid-friendly, invisible workload, default parent, dialectic thinking, two things can be true Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
We're doing a "Deep Dive" into our past episodes on birth order and how it can shape both kids' personalities and their relationships with their siblings. Find the rest of the episodes in this deep dive series in this Spotify playlist. Why is it siblings so often seem to be total opposites? If we notice that and lean into comparisons, are we bad parents? And if our kids really are completely different, are they choosing those divergent paths on purpose? Yes and no. Here's why kids in the same family can turn out so differently, and what it means for us as we parent them. In this episode we discuss: The definition of "adaptive divergence" The difference between knowing our kids and comparing them Why each of our children, even in the same household, grow up in their own "micro environments" At the end of the day, we're wired to compare our kids as naturally as breathing. And instead of punishing ourselves for doing so, noticing when we do it and why is a good start. Even if you think you already know everything about your kids, keep your data intake sheets open! Here are links to some of the resources mentioned in the episode: Lynn Berger for Mother Mag: "How (Not To) Compare Your Children" Dr. Frank Sulloway: "Why Siblings Are Like Darwin’s Finches: Birth Order, Sibling Competition, and Adaptive Divergence within the Family" Jensen, Alexander C et al. in the Journal of Youth and Adolescence: “Parents' Social Comparisons of Siblings and Youth Problem Behavior: A Moderated Mediation Model.” Sheryl Ziegler for The Tot: "Why raising your kids differently is actually a good thing" We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: https://www.whatfreshhellpodcast.com/p/promo-codes/ mom friends, funny moms, parenting advice, parenting experts, parenting tips, mothers, families, parenting skills, parenting strategies, parenting styles, busy moms, self-help for moms, manage kid’s behavior, teenager, tween, child development, family activities, family fun, parent child relationship, decluttering, kid-friendly, invisible workload, default parent, middle child, birth order, siblings Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
How do kids play differently when they're outside? What are the benefits of unstructured play and giving kids more agency over their leisure time? Ginny Yurich, host of The 1000 Hours Outside Podcast and founder of the 1000 Hours Outside movement, explains why getting our kids outside every day that we can reaps real benefits for kids' physical, cognitive, and social well-being. In this interview Ginny, Amy, and Margaret discuss: the ways time outside benefits kids that you might not have heard of why a few bumps and bruises are worth what kids can learn from taking risks the essential role of friends and community in outdoor play... if you're going to spend a thousand hours outside this year, get a friend with kids who's willing to try it with you! Here's where you can find Ginny: Listen to The 1000 Hours Outside Podcast www.1000hoursoutside.com @1000hoursoutside on all socials Ginny's book UNTIL THE STREETLIGHTS COME ON: https://bookshop.org/a/12099/9781540903402 We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: https://www.whatfreshhellpodcast.com/p/promo-codes/ mom friends, funny moms, parenting advice, parenting experts, parenting tips, mothers, families, parenting skills, parenting strategies, parenting styles, busy moms, self-help for moms, manage kid’s behavior, teenager, toddler, baby, tween, child development, family activities, family fun, parent child relationship, decluttering, kid-friendly, invisible workload, default parent, outside play, outdoor play. outdoor activities for kids, 1000 Hours outside, #1kho Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Were the concerns of Nemo's father actually pretty reasonable? Was Mrs. Doubtfire the bad guy? Were Baby's parents in Dirty Dancing... actually kind of right? We asked our listeners which movies and TV shows they perceive differently as parents, plus a few of our own. We also discuss: which child actor Margaret scarily resembles the weirdest Disney movie of all time, in terms of it ostensibly being aimed at children the one thing that could save every Disney princess problem in five minutes Read the original thread in our Facebook group! mom friends, funny moms, Disney movies, family movies, family programming Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
We're doing a "Deep Dive" into our past episodes on birth order and how it can shape both kids' personalities and their relationships with their siblings. Find the rest of the episodes in this deep dive series in this Spotify playlist. It’s not your imagination: kids raised in the same family really do push in opposite directions– and we mean POLAR opposites, especially for closely-spaced or same-sex siblings. But why the de-identification? And how is it even possible for kids reared in the same environment to be so completely different?  In this episode we discuss:  the three theories social scientists have about this phenomenon  why siblings may “evolve” like Darwin’s finches  how “the shy one” in a given family may not be that shy at all- except compared to that outgoing sibling  what parents need to watch out for in terms of leaning in to these (sometimes oversimplified) categories    Here’s links to the fascinating research, and stuff that it reminded us of, discussed in this episode:  Alix Spiegel for NPR: Siblings Share Genes, But Rarely Personalities NYT: Each Sibling Experiences a Different Family Dr. Robert Plomin and Dr Denise Daniels: Why are Children in the Same Family So Different From One Another? Dr. Frank Sullaway: Why Siblings Are Like Darwin’s Finches: Birth Order, Sibling Competition, and Adaptive Divergence within the Family Dr. Robert Plomin and Dr. Judy Dunn: Why Are Siblings So Different? The Significance of Differences in Sibling Experiences Within the Family Science Daily: Parents’ Comparisons Make Siblings Different Dr. Alexander Jensen and Dr. Susan McHale: What makes siblings different? The development of sibling differences in academic achievement and interests. Amy’s yin-and-yang sons, born on the Chinese days of Greatest Heat (Dashu) and Deepest Snow (Daxue) the hilarious book Hyperbole and a Half, with its “Hot Sauce” reminder of what happens when we lean too hard into what we maybe only *think* are our children’s defining characteristics and our own episode discussing birth order and how it shapes our kids’ personalities. We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: https://www.whatfreshhellpodcast.com/p/promo-codes/ mom friends, funny moms, parenting advice, parenting experts, parenting tips, mothers, families, parenting skills, parenting strategies, parenting styles, busy moms, self-help for moms, manage kid’s behavior, teenager, tween, child development, family activities, family fun, parent child relationship, decluttering, kid-friendly, invisible workload, default parent, middle child, birth order, siblings Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
How can we make our kids - and ourselves - feel truly listened to in our day-to-day conversations? Charles Duhigg, author of the new book SUPERCOMMUNICATORS, explains how to create meaningful connection in the parent/child relationship.  Charles Duhigg is the author of the New York Times bestsellers The Power of Habit and Smarter Faster Better. He is a staff writer at The New Yorker and was previously a reporter at the New York Times.  Charles and Margaret discuss: The three types of conversations and why the distinction among them is important How we can connect with others when we have deep personal disagreements How our communication skills are connected to our happiness Here's where you can find Charles: https://www.charlesduhigg.com/ Instagram: @charlesduhigg LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/charlesduhigg FB: @CharlesDuhigg Buy SUPERCOMMUNICATORS: https://bookshop.org/a/12099/9780593243916 We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: https://www.whatfreshhellpodcast.com/p/promo-codes/ mom friends, funny moms, parenting advice, parenting experts, parenting tips, mothers, families, parenting skills, parenting strategies, parenting styles, busy moms, self-help for moms, manage kid’s behavior, teenager, toddler, baby, tween, child development, family activities, family fun, parent child relationship, decluttering, kid-friendly, invisible workload, default parent, Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
The Power of "Not Yet"

The Power of "Not Yet"

2024-02-2144:19

When we worry about our kids being behind on reaching milestones, that's natural. When we fear it's proof of our own terrible parenting, that's our anxiety taking over. Here's how to reframe kids' development in a way that lessens our mom guilt and feelings of failure: the power of "not yet" Amy and Margaret discuss: Why we feel so anxious when our kids aren't developing the way we think they should How we can show our kids that we believe in them—and why that helps us too Why humans learn more from mistakes than from things we get right Here are links to some of the resources mentioned in the episode: Sarina Natkin: The Power of Not Right Now Leo The Late Bloomer by Robert Kraus TED Talk Tuesday: The Power of Yet Our episode "Growth Mindset" Carol Dweck at TEDxNorrkoping: The power of believing that you can improve Neuroscience News: Mindful Mistakes: How Brains Learn from Errors We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: https://www.whatfreshhellpodcast.com/p/promo-codes/ mom friends, funny moms, parenting advice, parenting experts, parenting tips, mothers, families, parenting skills, parenting strategies, parenting styles, busy moms, self-help for moms, manage kid’s behavior, teenager, toddler, baby, tween, child development, family activities, family fun, parent child relationship, decluttering, kid-friendly, invisible workload, default parent Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
DEEP DIVE: Middle Kids

DEEP DIVE: Middle Kids

2024-02-1946:50

This is one of our deep dives on how kids are shaped by their siblings. Find the rest of the episodes in this deep dive series in this Spotify playlist. Most people believe middle children are prone to feeling insecure and left out because they get less attention. Their primary emotional state? Jealousy of siblings. Studies show that we think these problems are real and inescapable. A City College of New York study found participants were most likely to use words like “overlooked” to describe middle children— while completely unlikely to use the word “spoiled.”  Psychologist Dr. Alfred Adler first proposed a “middle child syndrome” in the 1920s, and ever since, most of us have assumed the Jan-Brady worst. But Dr. Adler also believed that middle children’s place in the birth order made them “uniquely poised to succeed.” Are we getting it wrong? Are there lifelong benefits for kids who grow up neither the pressured oldest nor the coddled youngest?  In this episode we discuss:  “middleborns” vs “classic middles" the negativity of the “middle child syndrome,” and whether or not it bears out why middle children are more independent and open-minded why middle children have a greater appetite for risk how the “ambient neglect” a middle child sometimes receives can be an incredible gift Writer Adam Sternbergh, himself a middle, says that "being a middle child is not something you aspire to; it’s something that happens to you.” While that may be true, it also turns out that we should perhaps all be jealous of them. Being a middle kid can be secretly great. Here's links to research and other writing on the topic discussed in this episode: Adam Sternbergh for The Cut: The Extinction of the Middle Child Dr. Catherine Salmon: The Secret Power of Middle Children: How Middleborns Can Harness Their Unexpected and Remarkable Abilities Lindsay Dodgson for Business Insider: 'Middle child syndrome' doesn't actually exist — but it still might come with some surprising psychological advantages Risk-taking middle-borns: A study on birth-order and risk preferences Abi Berwager Schreier for Romper: Do Middle Children Really Have More Issues? Jan Brady Wasn't The Only One Alphaparent: Optimum Family Size Facts We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: https://www.whatfreshhellpodcast.com/p/promo-codes/ mom friends, funny moms, parenting advice, parenting experts, parenting tips, mothers, families, parenting skills, parenting strategies, parenting styles, busy moms, self-help for moms, manage kid’s behavior, teenager, tween, child development, family activities, family fun, parent child relationship, decluttering, kid-friendly, invisible workload, default parent, middle child, siblings, middle kid Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
How can we prevent our kids from developing substance use disorders? Dr. Kevin Simon is an Attending Child and Adolescent Psychiatrist and Addiction Medicine Specialist at Boston Children's Hospital and an instructor of Psychiatry at Harvard Medical School. In this interview, Dr. Simon explains The different ways that kids use substances, and why they use What puts kids at higher use for developing addiction Why the "just a sip at home" strategy isn't a good idea What to watch for in order to intervene sooner Here's where you can find Dr. Simon: https://www.kevinsimonmd.com/publications @DrKMSimon on IG, X, and LinkedIn Here links to a few resources mentioned in the episode: Felice J Freyer for the Boston Globe: "Boston's New Mental Health Czar Lays Out His Goals" "This Is Your Brain on Drugs" PSA We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: https://www.whatfreshhellpodcast.com/p/promo-codes/ mom friends, funny moms, parenting advice, parenting experts, parenting tips, mothers, families, parenting skills, parenting strategies, parenting styles, busy moms, self-help for moms, manage kid’s behavior, teenager, toddler, baby, tween, child development, family activities, family fun, parent child relationship, decluttering, kid-friendly, invisible workload, default parent, teen substance use disorder, teen addiction, teen substance abuse, teen mental health, teen mental illness, teen drug addiction, teen drug abuse, teen alcoholism Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
What words, phrases, or annoying habits do you wish your family would just quit once and for all? Here's what our funny mom friends had to say. Amy and Margaret discuss: What rules work in Margaret's house What behaviors cause them to "catch a bit of an attitude" Which tropical islands they would run away to if given the chance Read the original thread on Facebook here Listen to Molly and Blaire's new podcast Unsticking It! We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: https://www.whatfreshhellpodcast.com/p/promo-codes/ mom friends, funny moms, parenting advice, parenting experts, parenting tips, mothers, families, parenting skills, parenting strategies, parenting styles, busy moms, self-help for moms, manage kid’s behavior, teenager, toddler, baby, tween, child development, family activities, family fun, parent child relationship, decluttering, kid-friendly, invisible workload, default parent Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
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Comments (11)

Janelle Lake

My 6 year-old also does not naturally say hello (to my embarrassment). In an effort to teach her good social skills, we tell her she can have. a quarter for every known adult she says hello back to (like teachers, school staff, grandparents, even mom and dad when they walk in).

Dec 5th
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Cristy McCormick

I was interested to see how they would do this episode but found out quickly I just didn't care. Go back to one 🤣

May 2nd
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Cristy McCormick

I'm glad that they judge people for not having the same viewpoints as them. It's time to let everyone make their own decisions when It comes to Covid and all the things that come with it. Even if it results in decision fatigue.

Jan 26th
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lynn

parents will name a podcast this and then get on your ass about not having kids lol OK 💀

Feb 23rd
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aimee coburn

love this show!!! happy holidays you two!

Dec 23rd
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Jordyn Thayer

My absolute favorite podcast! love you guys ✌

Aug 19th
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Bella Ring

⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

Jan 21st
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Caitlin Brown

You guys are an ear treat as I clean my house. Keep them coming. 😊

Dec 19th
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Bree Baledge

You totally did trigger my Google lol. I am a young mom of two boys and I have to tell you both that you guys are a God send. Your advice has helped so much!

Oct 17th
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Bree Baledge

Idaho is my home and yes please keep the secret!

Sep 13th
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Jessica Miller

I love using ziploc bags for packing. such as separating my sons socks and underwear from my daughter's.

Jun 20th
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