When Marriage Is Hard

When you have a loved one who is struggling with their mental health, the holiday season can be a mine field! With more stress (even good stress!) comes more flair ups, meaning all your best laid plans could fall apart in a second. Your spouse might have an anxiety attack just as you are heading out the door to go to the church Christmas party, or they might disappear into the bedroom for days at a time, leaving you to manage all the gift buying, wrapping and planning all on your own.  In this episode, I am showing you the two things to focus on that will help you feel more calm, help you tackle any scenario that comes your way, and help you let go of resentment and start feeling more love and connection this holiday season. 

Do you ever find yourself having a good day where you are feeling calm and your spouse is doing well and then you immediately get hit with a wave of anxiety? Yup. You're not alone! We are generally not very good at tolerating our positive emotions like joy, happiness, contentedness, peace and love. So today we are talking all about how to lean into it and start expanding our capacity for real joy!

The way you see yourself can drastically impact the helath of your marriage. In this episode, we discuss what your self identity is, where it comes from, how it impacts your marriage relationship and how to change your self identity and by extention, your marriage. Check it out! 

Every couple has those issues that are just difficult to solve. You start fighting and feel like it is getting you nowhere. It might be: - Money - Sex - In-law relationships - Division of Household duties - Electronic use (phones or videogames) Whatever the issue is for you and your spouse, there is good news. These issues are totally solvable. In this episode, I'm giving you the do's and don'ts for how to solve all these problems.  We have just a few 1 on 1 coaching spots available right now! Make sure to grab yours! Click Here to apply

Everyone fights. Even healthy couples. In fact, conflict can be a great catalyst for change, improvement and learning for you and your spouse.  In this episode we discuss what you can do after the fight to help propel you into success in the future. It's magical! Click Here to apply for 1 on 1 Coaching with Jessica Farmer for couples or individuals  

We've all expereinced thos days (and sometimes months) where you just can't shake that feeling of exhaustion. It doesn't matter how much sleep you get, it doesn't seem to touch it.  In this episode we are going to talk about how to combat that exhaustion and how to start moving forward again. I'm telling you all about my personal expereince with exhaustion over the last year and the things that have helped me the most.  We are opening up 1 on 1 coaching spots for the last time in 2022! Click Here to apply and sign up for a free consult call with Jessica and start finding solutions to your uniques problems right away!

Is it possible to have a real partnership marriage, even when your spouse is struggling with their mental health?  YES!  We are talking to relationship expert, Aimée Gianni MS about how to avoid getting stuck in and overfunctioning role in your relationship, cultivate friendship and avoid resentment. It is powerful stuff! Resources mentioned by Aimée: Passionate Marriage by Dr. David Schnarch Atlas of the Heart by Brené Brown Everything Isn't Terrible by Dr. Kathleen Smith   Aimée Gianni, MS, is a Marriage & Family Therapist and a Master Coach Instructor specializing in Love Relationships. She teaches her clients The Art of Intimate Connection and helps them create strong, loving, joyful relationships and meaningful lives that they love, full of authenticity, connection, passion, fulfillment, and physical well-being.  It's her favorite thing to do!  As a Master Coach Instructor she trains relationship coaches how to do this important work with their clients.  You can learn more about her work at AimeeGianni.com and follow her on Instagram @aimeegiannims  

We all need an escape sometimes, but usually we feel really guilty about it or we don't even know that we are doing it (hello...Netflix).  In this episode, I'm telling you all my guilty pleasure and how having those little escape valves set up in your life can actually be really great for your life and relationship.  My Current Favorite Romance Authors- The All Souls Trilogy by Debroah Harkness A Throne Of Glass Series by Sarah J. Maas The Bridgerton books by Julia Quinn A Court Of Thorns and Roses by Sarah J. Maas

Every Marriage, even the best ones, have unsolvable problems. Often times these are one of the Big 3 - Money, Sex or Family.  But just becasue the issue is unsolvable doesn't mean that we need to resign ourselves to fighting constantly about the same issues for the rest of our lives.  In this episode we are discussing strategies for how to turn these unsolvable problems into opportunites for growth and resilience in your marriage relationship.  Have any questions? I'd love to hear them! email me at jess@jessicafarmercoaching.com or schedule a free conversation with me where we can discuss it face to face! Click Here to schedule 

When your spouse has mental health struggles, it can affect every aspect of your family life, especially how you and your spouse parent together.  This week we are diving into how you can make the most of your parenting relationship, help support your spouse's positive relationship with your children, and how it can actually be the best thing for your child. 

When we are working on makeing changes in our relationships, and aren't seeing the results yet, it can be super frustrating and we can get caught in thinking that it's not working. The things we are trying is just not enough.  So this week we are talking about why our brains believe that a big grand solution is necessary for real change to happen, how we can lean into practicing small and simple things to improve our relationships, and the key to finding hope that things will get better. 

I hear this from my clients all the time.  "I am too busy to deal with all this crap!" I get it. It can feel really overwhelming and discouraging to do the work that it takes to change your marriage to a more resilient and connected relationship.  So today we are talking about how to go through the process as painless as possible and staying the way you are is actually using MORE time and energy than it would take to change. Schedule your free Small Group Program Discovery Call SmarterEveryDay - The Backwards Brain Bycycle

Marriage Advice Myth Debunked: You should never talk about your marriage outside of your marriage.  I think I know where this one is coming from but honestly, it is so problematic. So in this episode, we are talking about how to find a safe person to talk to about the dificulties you are having in your marriage, and how to do it in a way that will actually strengthen your relationship.  Small Group Coaching Progam start July 14th! If you want in, lets chat. Email me at jess@jessicafarmercoaching.com

Do you ever feel defeated becasue no matter what you do, you feel like you just can't trust your spouse?  You are not alone. In this episode we are talking about how to break down the concept of trusting your spouse into bite sized chunks and how to develop a more trusting and loving relationship.  Attachment Styles Quiz 

We've all been in that place where we want our spouse to be different than they are. In big and small ways.  But trying to get them to change is the hardest way to do this whole marriage thing. Instead, we are talking about how to find peace and happiness in your relationship without your spouse changing thier behavior. It's Possible! Get Your Free Training! How To Stop Walking On Eggshells In Your Marriage Sign Up Here

We all wish our spouse would just be able to read our mind right? Well, it's possible.  Ok, they can't REALLY read your mind, but you can get to the place in your marriage where you and your spouse know how to help each other fill your needs in the way that is most meaningful to you.  This episode is all about teaching your spouse how to help you meet your needs in the way that is most meaningful to you.  Free 3 Day Training! How To Stop Walking On Eggshells In Your Marriage Click Here To Get Yours Today

We all have those moments when we feel like we are a failure. We feel like we are overwhelmed with our absolute human-ness and it can be so discouraging. It can keep us stuck exactly where we don't want to be. So today on the podcast, we are talking all about the one practice you need to move from feeling like a failure to having a growth mindset.  FREE TRAINING- How To Stop Walking On Eggshells In Your Marriage Click HERE to Sign Up!

"I just don't want people to think less of him, or me" When Your spouse is struggling with their mental health it is natural to want to shield them from other people's judgements. But, as we talk about in the episode this week, it can lead to some patterns that aren't healpful for eaith one of you. So in this episode, we are learning how to respond when someone in judging you, and how to feel peace, no matter what is happening.  Free Training! How To Stop Walking On Eggshells In Your Marriage Click Here to Access

If you are married to someone who has a mental illness or who has struggled with theri mental health, you probably have trauma. The good news is that we know how to notice it, work through it and learn from it. That's what we are taling all about this week so check it out! There is 1 1:1 coaching spot left for the month of May! After this one is filled, to work with me, you will be added to a wait list for the next available spot. If you want in right now, Click Here

Resentment is one of the most common emotions I see with my clients, it's destructive in a relationship AND it's totally within your control to work past it.  This week we are diving into how you may be feeling resentment without even knowing it, how to recognize it and how to move past it.  Feeling Wheel  Brene Brown's Atlas of The Heart Ready to start making lasting changes in your relationship? Click Here to set up a call with Jessica and create a plan to make it happen for you and your spouse!