Wholly Buyable

<p>Advertising Creative Director Chas Bayfield takes you on a road trip through the Bible, leaving one significant item of baggage at home- religion. He tells the story from Genesis to Revelation and explains how this more than any other book has impacted western culture. Wholly Buyable is a podcast for people who might never normally pick up a Bible but who feel they should perhaps know a little more about it than they currently do. After all, the Bible is a book for everyone, not just believers. Listeners will be taken through action sequences worthy of a 21st century TV drama. They will be seduced by erotic poetry and bombarded with hallucinatory visions. Fill your boots with betrayal, brutality, beauty and, believe it or not, comedy. This isn’t your average Bible podcast; no one will be told what to believe but everyone who joins in the journey will hopefully feel that they know the world’s best-selling book a little better.</p>

184: The Lie (Jeremiah 26-29)

The last thing a prisoner in the ancient Near East is expected to do is buy land. Especially when that land is currently being trampled by enemy armies. Who might kill him. Jeremiah's book is all about theatre, especially if that theatre can provide a teachable moment. And so papyrus, ink, scales for weighing silver, sealing wax and witnesses are brought to the prophet's cell.

12-16
19:32

183: Maddening WIne (Jeremiah 23-26)

An apocalyptic storm “from the ends of the earth” is coming, one that will see Near Eastern nations toppling like dominos. Everywhere, the corpses of God’s enemies will lie unburied and unmourned, littering the ground like dung. Expect another lively episode from the Bible's most down-at-mouth prophet as Jeremiah continues to rage at a people who don't want to hear. Written and produced by Chas Bayfield Music by Michael Auld and Jon Hawkins Music Cover art by Lisa Goff Send any commen...

12-09
20:35

182: Oblivion (Jeremiah 21-23)

O land, land land! It's a pitiful lament from the prophet Jeremiah as he attempts to rescue the nation he loves. No one in power or authority appears to see the danger of worshipping pagan gods in a country which, the Bible tells its readers, was founded by God. Turning away from him is seen as an act of rebellion, and rebels must be punished. The question is, will Judah's kings listen? And if the ship can still be saved, who will do it, and how? Written and produced by Chas Bayfield Musi...

12-02
20:00

181: Cancelled (Jeremiah 17-20)

The human cost of being God's mesenger is spelled out in graphic detail in this episode. Jeremiah feels gerrymandered into being a prophet, and even wishes that the man who brought his father the supposedly joyful news of his birth had been murdered. Despite this, he continues haranguing Judah's great and good, even taking them on a field trip to a rubbish tip. Speaking out against Judah's love affair with pagan gods is a tough job, but someone has to do it, even if it does mean ridicule and ...

11-25
21:41

180: The Widowmaker (Jeremiah 14-17)

What a mess. Judah's people are being assured by their prophets - holy men who should know better - that all will be well. Business as usual will win the day, they say, even if that business is worshipping pagan deities rather than capital G God. Jeremiah warns these bogus seers that they will die in the disasters which they have promised their people will never happen. Unsurprisingly, he is in for a tough ride, but in taking one for the team, Jeremiah is able to write a fabulous account of...

11-18
21:57

179: Smashed (Jeremiah 11-13)

The warnings to Judah's people continue. Rogue shepherds will trample its vineyards, turning pleasant pasture into parched and desolate wasteland because there is no one left to care about it or take care for it. These shepherds are Babylon's armies which arrive decades after Jeremiah is writing. There is still time to turn the ship around, but no one appears to be listening. If they are, they don't take Jeremiah seriously. He is a ranting holy man, and they have plenty of sane prophets tel...

11-11
18:05

178: Ghost Town (Jeremiah 8-10)

The slow tour through the Bible's longest book (by word count) continues. Standing at the entrance to Jerusalem's temple, Jeremiah accuses the nation's Jews of simply paying lip service to worshipping God. These people are so convinced that their Jewishness alone will rescue them that they are happy hedging their bets by worshipping lots of other gods. God however, is a fan of exclusivity, and the price for Judah's people not giving him their undivided adoration is a costly one. Writt...

11-04
20:02

177: The Valley of Slaughter (Jeremiah 5-7)

There's no telling some people. Judah's Jews assume that they have a free pass when it comes to enjoying the good life. Simply because of an accident of birth and their ethnicity, they feel that God will turn a blind eye to the fact that they have wholeheartedly abandoned him, choosing instead to immerse themselves in pagan religion. Jeremiah has news for these people, and as the title of this podcast suggests, it's not especially good... Written and produced by Chas Bayfield Music by Micae...

10-28
20:29

176: The Lustful and the Lost (Jeremiah 3-5)

It's not easy being an Old Testament prophet. Jeremiah describes the feeling of being stabbed in the heart and writhing in pain. His compatriots seem not only content to turn their backs on God - the 'Big I Am' believed to have set the universe in motion - they are hedging their bets with every other deity then can grab hold of. The prophet describes his people as lusty stallions and adulterous men fired up over other men's wives. It's lurid, but Jeremiah doesn't baulk at telling it how he se...

10-21
20:57

175: Skullcracker (Jeremiah 1-3)

A sex worker waiting by the road for hook-ups A young camel so on heat she doesn't even need chasing. Such is the out of control idolatry of the nation of Judah. Yet one holy man can see the writing on the wall and is is tasked with warning his people before it's too late and God calls time on their nation. That man is Jeremiah. Join us as Season 20 begins. Written and produced by Chas Bayfield Music by Michael Auld and Jon Hawkins Music Cover Art by Lisa Goff Send comments and feedba...

10-14
21:07

174: The Worm That Will Not Die (Isaiah 64-66)

The doom and gloom continues - this is a book by an Old Testament prophet after all - but there is also light at the end of the tunnel. Israel will rebound and its people will drink deeply "from her satisfying breasts." The prophet foresees a future where people are not only forgiven by God, he forgets the things they did wrong. Better still, he is planning an entirely new heaven and a new earth where people who have never previously been a part of his cosmic plan are welcomed in. As season f...

10-07
20:20

173: Blood Spatter (Isaiah 60-63)

“Mine eyes have seen the glory of the coming of the Lord He is trampling out the vintage where the grapes of wrath are stored.” These words from The Battle Hymn of the Republic embody this passage from Isaiah's epic book. Poetry rises to a crescendo as the prophet explains the euphoria of his people's future hope as well as the brutal punishment which he believes God will rain down on Israel's enemies Written and produced by Chas Bayfield Music by Michael Auld and Jon Hawkins Music Co...

09-29
22:41

172: Damburst (Isaiah 55-59)

Doom is coming. The days of all those who fail to follow God wholeheartedly are numbered. Nor is this any kind of fair-weather following. Performative box ticking gets nowhere with God, it seems. Isaiah wants his people to be completely aware of what is coming if they do not undertake a volte face, put away their pagan idols and return to the one deity who has consistently fought their battles and had their back. Enjoy an Old Testament prophet giving it both barrels! Written and produced by...

09-23
23:37

170: Drunk on Blood (Isaiah 48-50)

Hard as it may be to believe that freedom and a return to Jerusalem are just around the corner for Israel's exiled Jews, Isaiah does what he can to impress upon his readers that this is exactly what is about to happen. He also appears to spell out in uncanny detail that a man is coming who will be verbally and physically abused for the wrongdoings of everyone else, and that he will be "a light to the Gentiles." For good reason, Christians see Jesus Christ as this man, making Isaiah one of the...

09-09
24:01

169: The Raptor (Isaiah 44-47)

A shamed princess having to hoist her skirts in order to cross streams, and who sits in the dirt like a commoner. This is how the prophet Isaiah sees the proud empire of Babylon. It seems improbable, but Isaiah believes anything is possible with his God. Right now, God is predicting that his own people will be freed from Babylonian captivity without bloodshed or money changing hands, and that the mighty Babylonian Empire is about to face its own catatsrophic fall. Written and produced by Ch...

09-02
22:17

168: Manumission (Isaiah 41-44)

A man who will be "a light to the Gentiles" and who will "open the eyes of the blind and set the prisoners free." It's easy to see how Christians believe Isaiah was predicting the arrival of Jesus. But the prophet promises action much sooner, and much closer to home. In a move unprecedented in Near Eastern history, Persia's king will set his Israelite captives free. Isaiah predicts this, and its easy to see how people join the dots: if the prophet called the release from exile ahead o...

08-26
22:00

167: Adam's Other Wife (Isaiah 35-41)

In this episode, we identify Lilith, a Jewish myth figure believed to have been married both to Adam and the Angel of Death. Isaiah also appears to predict New Testament holy man, John the Baptist, writes my favourite verse in the entire Bible, gets embroiled in a plagiarism battle and appears to hand his quill to another scribe. Quite an episode. Written and produced by Chas Bayfield Music by Michael Auld and Jon Hawkins Music Cover art by Lisa Goff Send any comments or feedback to contact...

08-19
23:01

166: Swimming in the Cesspool (Isaiah 24-28)

As the title suggests, Isaiah doesn't pull any punches. If graphic and repulsive use of bodily fluids as a metaphor get his readers' attention, the prophet is all in. However, anyone looking for action and adventure may be disappointed; in Isaiah's book, the drama is all in the writing. If you want a quintessential raging Old Testament prophet so incandescent that he tips into apocalyptic language, look no further.

08-12
20:07

165: Drunken Vomit (Isaiah 19-23)

Isaiah's tirade against Israel's neighbours continues, and with it come vivid descriptions of Near Eastern Mediterranean trade in the eighth century BC. But God's fury doesn't stop with pagan kingdoms and empires; Judah too is in the firing line. Oh, and in this episode, the prophet also strips naked, and remains "au naturel" for three years. Truly, there is nothing in the Bible quite like the Book of Isaiah!

08-04
22:07

164: Night Terror (Isaiah 10-18)

If you picture in your head a robed, beared prophet raging with florid language at at a nation that isn't listening to him, you are probably thinking of Isaiah. In this episode, he launches a broadside against nations who he believes are enemies of God. These are Israel's near neighbours and the prophet foresees disaster for each and every one of them. Enjoy the schadenfreude. WARNING: THIS EPISODE MENTIONS RAPE AND INFANT DEATH Written and produced by Chas Bayfield Music by Michael Auld an...

07-29
21:53

Claire Farley

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