Wikishuffle

It has taken us three years but we're back with a final whimper. Do follow @jookstew on instagram and @chriswallace123 and @pesharman on Twitter to keep up to date with us. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

We were away for a bit. Soz. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

What do you think of when you think of Canada? Maple Syrup? Poutine? Hit TV show Due South starring Paul Haggis, who looks like what happens if you cross Brendan Fraser and the guy that played Hercules in the one that was like Xena, but not Xena. How about terrible driving? Turns out Canada has been spending a lot of time looking for its worst driver, 7 whole times in fact. Joining us once again in our third chair, is resident cool kid Ruth Bradley. Who skateboarded her way from her loft apartment where all the other cool dudes are. She helps us understand what is going on in the World Wide Web when there are viruses kicking about. We end this week talking about the origin story of Christian pirate Ron ‘Patch’ Hamilton and how he swashbuckled his way into the hearts of children everywhere with tunes about Jesus. Before stepping off the plank into their nightmares with his eye hole. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

With Jack gone forever so begins our Saved by the Bell: The New Class years, or that bit in Buffy when she wasn’t at school anymore and had to deal with a whole host of new problems.We expect to gather up some new hip cool listeners, yet retain our original core of Wikishufflers, casting aside any die hard Jack fans, who I’m sure will go on to watch his spin off. Like Joey.In our substitute teacher chair and making her spectacular return is friend of the show Ruth Bradley, testing her Potato snack knowledge against our very own resident Potato Man. Thanks to Mark Winter for contributing, what appears to be a life long ambition of his. We have found the YouTube video, Mark.After a quick trip to Baker Street for a catch up with that Cumberbatchian autistic dope fiend violinist and his best friend / closetted love interest, we go on to look at some unsettling holes. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

After a long delay, the Wikishuffle crew is back to normally scheduled broadcasting. Expect us every second week with our spin off show Goodnight Sweetcast filling in the gaps.This week we examine the correlation between the attractiveness of shoppers and their supermarket of choice, in a completely fair and not at all unreasonable segment we call 'Peeking in a Farmfoods'. We also learn that Phil holds himself in the top tier of Supermarket Naturists, let us know if you would feel comfortable with a nude Wizard in your local Tesco Express. Answers on a postcard.In the Shuffles we uncover the GREATEST DECEPTION since Dan Brown found out about the Da Vinci Code and Tom Hanks had to stop Gandalf from finding the oldcup. Jesus was a right old sneaky sneak. Apparently, there is also a big vault where they keep all the nuts in case everything turns rubbish, which is becoming ever more likely. Don't worry though, we know roughly where they keep them.Finally, we bid a tearful farewell to Jack as he goes on a journey to find himself in Asia. We hope he finds what he is looking for, unless it is something unsavoury. Inwhich case he must be stopped at all costs. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Wasn't it lovely of the Queen to send us a telegram for our 100th episode, which is definitely something that happened and we certainly didn't just doctor an old lady's 100th birthday telegram, because that would probably be treason.And this bumper 100th episode special has been a long time in the making. Not just in the fact that we had to release a prior 99 podcasts to make this happen, but because this episode has - for indeterminate reasons - taken us well over two months to edit and release.Was it worth the wait? Well we'll let you be the judge of that, but you do get a whole six Wikipedia articles for your money, covering the entire gamut of Wikishuffle nonsense. There's some tragedy, some wrestling, some classic pop big hitters and a modicum of BDSM to keep you interested. We even went to the trouble of hiring a local brass band to play us out. Here's to the next 100 episodes. Sincerest thanks if you've joined us on the journey so far. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

The British monarchy pushes Chris's buttons, a coquettish woodpigeon pushes Jack's buttons and Philip is too busy pushing listener's buttons to have time for any of his own. It's the last ever double-digit episode of Wikishuffle, and we're spending the whole episode talking about young girls. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

We recorded this episode bloody ages ago, so our cutting edge references to the deaths of King Bhumibol Adulyadej of Thailand and Jean 'Hilda Ogden' Alexander have probably already been forgotten. Especially since this is 2016, or the Year of 1,000 Corpses as I prefer to call it.In this week's episode Chris offers up some expert sex education guidance for parents, Jack watches the football (because he is Alpha af), we play the penultimate round of our special run-up-to-episode-100 quiz, and we talk toys. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

We're fast becoming the Wikishuffle Mental Health Hour. Please bear in mind that we're not psychologists and our prognosis of everything being fine and normal and generally attributable to the mugging ennui of twenty-first century existence is not backed up by any medical qualification.Elsewhere, Philip confesses to a new hobby while Jack confesses to the (only slightly worse) crime of infanticide. Happy shuffling! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

You'd be forgiven for thinking that we're a bit bum-obsessed at Wikishuffle HQ, but that simply isn't true. We just go wherever the random article button takes us. And it just so happens to pique our interest whenever anything derriere-ery comes our way. Or maybe it's just fate.Apparently fate also really likes having us talk about large scale disasters and the consequential loss of life - as is befitting for a comedy podcast. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Most podcasts don't transition from whimsy to cheese to chess to frank discussions about mental health. But then Wikishuffle isn't most podcasts. In fact, statistics will tell you that Wikishuffle is actually less than 10% of podcasts. Look it up if you don't believe me.And, what's more, you can hear the story of how Chris got his legs waxed (he claims for charity, but I suspect a fair amount of sexual gratification amongst his motives). Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Remember Chrisville from Episode 66? Sure you do - it's the island Chris is planning to build and govern. Since undoubtedly all Wikishuffle listeners will absolutely definitely be emigrating there as soon as humanly possible, you'd better listen to this week's episode to bone up on a few more of the rules of the land.And then there's a bona fide actual warning that if you're a sensitive sort, you might want to give this week's second article a miss. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Things aren't nearly as jovial as this week's cover photo might suggest, as we take a look at the political abyss that the western world appears to be getting sucked into in 2016.If only Thomas the Tank Engine were here to make everything feel better. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

"It's a hypothetical situation about spider being on your penis. Just go with it."Can you believe we've made it all the way to episode 92 before bringing up the hypothetical situation about a spider being on your penis and just going with it? Me neither.In the intro to this week's episode we out another British celebrity for being a creepy old sex pest man, and in the outro - despite our intervention two weeks ago - Jack is back to doing a load of gross foot stuff. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

It's an episode where we read out lists of what things are called in different countries. That sounds like fun, right? Specifically, a beloved character and a niche sport.Want to know what beloved character and which niche sport? Well then you'll have to listen. Or look at the show notes at wikishuffle.co.uk if the suspense is too much for you.We're also plugging our new spin-off podcast Goodnight Sweetcast, that you should definitely listen to, irrespective of your interest in 1990's time-travel-and-bigamy sitcom Goodnight Sweetheart.On top of that, we make another appeal for you to send us a postcard from your shitty town: Wikishuffle HQ, 1B Headlands, Kettering NN15 7ER. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

We've had just about all we can stand from Jack, so we're holding an intervention. It's for his own benefit, you understand. So that we're not forced to murder him during a recording session when things get out of hand.Prior to that it's an educational episode: Film studies, Home Economics and PE are the lessons of the day. Oh, and we lather up a hypothetical Tina from S Club 7, but not in a creepy way. Okay, in a bit of a creepy way. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Given that episode 19, way back in July 2015 was called Got Blood, it seems inevitable that episode 159 will be called iot blood. And taken to its natural conclusion, you can expect to be listening to our final installment - Zot Blood - some time in the summer of 2036*.This week we have plagues, nuclear war, Skrillex and Paw Patrol. I like it when I get to type sentences that have, with near-absolute certainty, never been typed before.*I worked this out with a spreadsheet. My figures are sound. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Sticking closely to our remit, there's barely any Wikipedia and absolutely zero shuffling in this week's episode. Most of our time instead is spent admiring Jack's newly acquired status of Fruit Ninja.There's a Papa John's update to, so do feel free to tweet @papajohnsuk, and be sure to use #dustpizza. Ah, the power of Social Media. It's like our very own little Tahrir Square moment, seizing back the power from our doughy overlords.Thanks to listener Gabriella from Jerusalem for suggesting this week's article. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Evolution gets a helping hand from the deranged mind of Christopher Wallace this week - a man whose idea of self-improvement skews somewhat unconventional.When not accusing a deceased Guinness World Record holder of being a liar, or critiquing the physiological nuances of rodents, Phil finds time to offer a damning review of a piss-poor pizza papa. #pizzagate #dustpizza Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Wikipedia barely gets a look in this week, as we dedicate episode 86 to Corby hero Malcolm 'the Fish Man' Viales, try to decide whether Jack is smarter than a pig and stick it hard to the fascists of Kettering Borough Council.Why not tell us about the local celebrities from your shitty town? You can email podcast@wikishuffle.co.uk, get in touch via Twitter @wikishufflepod, or look us up on Facebook. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.