Wolf 359

Merry Christmas, and Happy 4-Year Anniversary to the finale of Wolf 359! To celebrate, Commander Emma Sherr-Ziarko gathered (most) of the cast and crew of the show for a reunion on her own podcast, Pairing, and we wanted to bring it directly to all of you. We reminisce about our favorite memories of making this show, what episodes we loved most, and we discuss what we think our characters would drink. Plus: Noah's slates, Zach Valenti breaking into song, recording at Spaceman, building and living in a character, Hilbert's commercial reads, forgetting episode titles, Horse Wines, predicting the future, Alan's track titles, Gabriel the master synthesizer, How Could Dare You, and, of course, Funzo. This episode features: Julian Silver, Scotty Shoemaker, Zach Valenti, Ariela Rotengold, Noah Masur, Michelle Agresti, Sarah Shachat, Zach Libresco, Michaela Swee, Cecilia Lynn-Jacobs, Alan Rodi, and Gabriel Urbina. It also features music by Alan Rodi. Special thanks to Zach Valenti for helping edit this episode! Zach is doing a Wolf 359 re-listen starting December 25th, 2021, at 3:59pm EST. Join him at wolf359.fm/relisten! Check out more of Pairing - including many episodes featuring members of the Wolf 359 cast and crew as guests - at the show's website! If you would like to access an ad-free feed of Wolf 359, check out the newly relaunched Wolf 359 patreon. Emma humbly asks that you sign up for the pre-launch of Moira Katson's new book, A Sundered Throne, which Emma is on deck to narrate if we raise enough money from the kickstarter. It's free to sign up, and you get a sneak peek of the first 8 chapters! You can also find Emma as an acting coach on SkillsHub, a website founded by another commander (Jennifer Hale). Check out her website and patreon for more info on what she's up to! If you enjoy Pairing, follow us on social media and tell your friends! Follow us on Twitter, Facebook, Instagram, & Tumblr! Pairing was created, hosted, and produced by Emma Sherr-Ziarko, with music and audio recording by Winston Shaw, and artwork by Darcy Zimmerman and Katie Huey. This episode was edited by Emma Sherr-Ziarko and Zach Valenti. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Want to write great fiction podcasts but don't know where to begin? You're not alone! Wolf 359 creator Gabriel Urbina is offering a new and updated version of his acclaimed online workshop, Writing Stories For Sound this February. Join Gabriel on a guided tour of his own journey into understanding audio, as he retraces his steps and revisits the questions he asked as he was taking his first baby steps into the medium with the first episodes of Wolf 359. He's teaching the workshop twice this month - once on Thursday February 22nd at 7:00 PM Eastern time and once on Sunday February 25th at 2:00 PM Eastern time! For more information or to sign up, please visit wolf359.fm/learn. * * * TRANSCRIPT OF TODAY'S MESSAGE: (sounds of Eiffel fidgeting, while tense, dramatic music plays) Eiffel: Come on come on come on... where is he? Doctor... (door opens) Eiffel: Ah, Doctor Hilbert! Thank goodness, there you are! I need help.  Hilbert: Officer Eiffel. What seems to be the problem? Eiffel: I - I don’t know. I feel like nothing I do sounds the way it ought to. The funny parts aren’t funny. The exciting parts aren’t exciting. It’s like I’ve lost the script on my whole life.  Hilbert: I see. Do not be worried, Officer Eiffel. Problem is serious but there is simple solution.  Eiffel: Is the great clown Pagliacci in town? Hilbert: Even better. (music abruptly changes, replaced by a more playful melody) Hilbert: Podcast creator Gabriel Urbina is offering online workshop on how to write the great audio fiction.  Eiffel: He is? Hilbert: He is. Is comprehensive journey through the building blocks of gripping podcast stories.  Eiffel: Does it cover the basics of how to write scenes without any visuals? Hilbert: Absolutely. But it goes beyond that. It explains how audio fiction can do things no other medium does, such as making the audience imagine visuals that cannot be seen.  Eiffel: You mean like that weird room in the back of the station, where the walls are painted a color that’s darker than black?  Hilbert: Precisely. Or the way you can introduce a new detail into scene and completely change audience’s understanding of what was happening.  Eiffel: Oh! Is that why you’re dressed up as a Teletubby? To illustrate that concept? Hilbert: Uh... no. I am wearing this for... my own purposes. Do not ask any more questions about the outfit.  Eiffel: I am not going to ask any more questions about the outfit. Well, Doc, I have to say I’m sold.  (a laminated card is placed on the table) Eiffel: Will my insurance cover this? Hilbert: Eiffel, you know very well that Goddard Futuristics does not offer health insurance to independent contractors such as yourself. Eiffel: Awww man... Hilbert: This is Dave and Busters gift card.  Eiffel: But it's still valid!  Hilbert: But: more good news. There are scholarship opportunities available for students and others who need them. Visit website for more information.  Eiffel: (leaving) Amazing. Doc, this sounds exactly like what I needed. How can I repay you?  Hilbert: No need, happy to be of assistance. (lower) Besides, genetic materials nanobots collected while you were in laboratory will be perfectly adequate display of gratitude.  Eiffel: What was that, doc? Hilbert: Nothing, Officer Eiffel, nothing! Enjoy the class! (music changes again, replaced with a bouncy, happy theme) Old-Timey Radio Announcer Voice: Writing Stories For Sound, a workshop by Gabriel Urbina. Seats are now open for sessions on February 22nd and 25th. Visit wolf359.fm/learn for more info and to secure your seat today! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Our premiere episode. Officer Doug Eiffel, communications officer on board the U.S.S. Hephaestus Station, is willing to go to any lengths to procrastinate his work. Tasked with a pointless hunt for alien intelligence, Eiffel would much rather spend his time complaining about the station’s malfunctioning autopilot system and making sure his stash of contraband cigarettes doesn’t fall into the wrong hands. But when his instruments start picking up a mysterious radio signal from an unidentified source, Eiffel begins to wonder if someone - or something – could be trying to communicate with the Hephaestus. Plus, explosions, dangerous experiments, non-destructive hair driers, handy-dandy tips for surviving in outer space, and creative interpretations for the word coffee. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

When Eiffel discovers that there’s only one tube of toothpaste remaining on board the Hephaestus, he realizes that a delicate situation is upon the crew. His solution? Steal the toothpaste, barricade the door to the comms room, and hope for the best. How far are Commander Minkowski and Doctor Hilbert willing to go to recover the vital hygiene product? Plus, subzero temperatures, unique negotiating tactics, hydrochloric acid, Winston Churchill misquoting, and Peter Sellers playing a Gameboy. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

The time arrives for another one of Dr. Hilbert’s infamous biannual physical and wellness checks, causing Eiffel and Minkowski to descend into a state of panic. With life and limb on the line, they each find creative ways to delay the inevitable: Eiffel through one of his patented mendacity-filled schemes, Minkowski through a very unusual discovery in the station’s greenhouse. Plus, manual resets, meditations on the effects of sticks and stones, anesthetics, the limits of anesthetics, and spinal fluid samples.   Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Eiffel takes a quick trip to the exterior of the Hephaestus in pursuit of a cleaner reading of one of the mysterious space transmissions. Things seem to be going well – until an unexpected stellar flare leaves Eiffel stranded outside of the station. Will Commander Minkowski be willing to launch a dangerous rescue mission to save her communications officer? Plus, air guitar solos, dramatic irony, complimentary electroshock therapy, jetpacks, and the realm of the Alpha and the Omega. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

A mysterious illness strikes Eiffel, quickly leaving him out of commission and bedridden. It falls on Dr. Hilbert’s medical expertise to find some way to get the Communications Officer back to full health. But as the days go by, Eiffel begins to suspect that something more sinister is afoot and starts to question whether Hilbert is curing the disease or causing it. Plus, medicinal lozenges, morbilliform, the full Nick Riviera, swollen glands, and looking on the bright, sunshiny side.   Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

The Hephaestus Mission reaches its 500th day since launch, and Eiffel is determined to make the most of the occasion. His celebration is cut short, however, when a power outage knocks out Hera and all of the station’s automated systems. The crew must find a way to get the station’s central processor back online, and Eiffel stumbles onto a new mystery in the process. Plus, homemade walkie-talkies, Hammer Horror, dance cards, Stephen King FM, and barreling towards certain death.   Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

When Minkowski and Hera get into a fight, Eiffel decides to stay out of the way until the dust settles. But the station’s deadly mutant plant monster stowaway somehow gains control of Doctor Hilbert’s mind, and it soon becomes clear that the crew has an emergency on their hands. Can Eiffel and his dubious interpersonal relationship skills patch things up between the Commander and the operating system before something goes disastrously wrong? Plus, Olympic obstinacy, wire-tapping, the peril-o-meter, mustard, and Doug’s Swiss Ass.   Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Eiffel takes some time from his busy schedule to answer third graders' questions. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In accordance with protocol and the need to maintain crew morale, Minkowski insists on holding another of her infamous talent shows. Both Eiffel and Hilbert come up with schemes to weasel their way out of having to participate, but neither of their plans goes quite as expected. The resulting day is more dangerous, more mysterious, and more musical than either one of them could have ever expected. Plus, eye-less Russian dolls, biochemistry, unnamed megafauna specimen 58, classics of 19th century opera, and homemade ice cream.   Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

As the Hephaestus begins a hazardous passage through an ion wind cluster, Eiffel is surprised to discover a message from the mission higher-ups waiting for him in the Communications Room. When the decoded message turns out to be a cryptic and unintelligible warning about something only identified as the “Empty Man”, the crew struggles to pick an appropriate course of action. What is Command trying to tell them? And who, or what, is the “Empty Man”? Plus, designation alpha, crazy wamajama, riders on the storm, flying blind, and going Big Bad Wolf on a straw house. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Eiffel decides that he wants to step up his game and play a more active role in documenting life on the Hephaestus. His newfound enthusiasm is soon tested when an unscheduled explosion puts a hole in one of the station’s walls and uncovers a mysterious, concealed laboratory on board the spacecraft. As the crew explores the hidden room and uncovers data on its previous occupants, Eiffel is forced to confront one of his fears. Plus, mobile reportage, Charlotte’s lab, the Creepus Maximus, slimy, hairy, and extremely high levels of toxicity.  Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In a set of short stories, we get to see what the Hephaestus crew does when they are by themselves. Doctor Hilbert tells a joke and ponders a question. Hera plays a game. Eiffel takes a test. Minkowski sends a message. Plus, floating on a tin can, magic lamps, disappearing terrarriums, programming loopholes, and the HAL 9000 touch.  Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Part one of two. It's Christmas Day on the Hephaestus. While Minkowski does her best to approximate a traditional holiday dinner, Eiffel decides he's going to try to smoke his last cigarette. Both plans are put on hold, however, when Dr. Hilbert stumbles upon a major discovery. Plus, impenetrable darkness, the blunt approach, sanitized pagan rituals, caller ID, and the last of the real turkey. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices