You Can't Do That

"'Scenes From A Hat' ass." Shocking no one, Eva, Kelly, and Rave cheered as the Carolina Hurricanes stomped on Vegas (and Carter Hart) to win the Stanley Cup, and became fully Jarv-pilled in the process. Also on the docket: Dylan Larkin, PWHL roster supremacy, and - yep, it's that time again - the combine. This episode was recorded on June 16, 2026. Timecodes: (4:07) Pool Without a Ladder | (9:37) Stanley Cup Finals | (44:41) Elsewhere in the NHL/PWHLBuy merch!Support us on Patreon! ★ Support this podcast on Patreon ★

"Matt! No!!" Is there a worse Cup Finals matchup for this particular podcast than Vegas vs. Carolina? Kelly, Eva, and Rave give this question the sincere deliberation it deserves…but not before checking in on several more compelling topics, including Team Finland, the Montreal Victoire, and Evgeni Malkin. This episode was recorded on June 2, 2026.Timecodes: (3:06) Summer Camp Catalog | (18:07) Worlds & the PWHL | (41:45) The Stanley Cup FinalsBuy merch!Support us on Patreon! ★ Support this podcast on Patreon ★

"Look how muscles he is." The second round of the playoffs has left Rave, Eva, and Kelly perturbed and disappointed tbqh!! Time to choose the lesser of several evils and check in on the relative villainy levels of Jakub Dobeš, John Tortorella, the PWHL's compliment sandwich, and the Canucks' new president(s) of hockey ops. This episode was recorded on May 19, 2026. Timecodes: (3:22) Glory to the Whelk King | (11:02) Playoffs Round 2 | (46:50) Conf Finals | (1:04:00) Elsewhere in the NHLBuy merch!Support us on Patreon! ★ Support this podcast on Patreon ★

"It galls an old bitch." LLOFFS TIME. Eva, Kelly, and Rave eulogize the first-round fallen and make irresponsible predictions about what’s to come in their usual even-handed, well-informed, and anti-Vegas way. Plus: Kelly weighs in on the latest Leafs news from the suffocating darkness of Canucks Corner. This episode was recorded on May 7, 2026. Timecodes: (4:36) Baseball Nickname Generator | (11:57) Playoffs Round 1 | (54:50) Playoffs Round 2 | (1:16:57) Elsewhere in the NHLBuy merch!Support us on Patreon! ★ Support this podcast on Patreon ★

"Go die with him!" Kelly, Eva, and Rave are serving up some piping hot copium about the retirement or non-retirement of our load-bearing Russian machine. Grab a glass, friends. Also on the docket: dragging the Leafs organization for filth in the public square, reminiscing about our early love for the Avs, and assessing the first-round playoffs matchups based on criteria we made up a second ago.This episode was recorded on April 15, 2026. Timecodes: (5:56) Don't Let the Pigeon | (13:40) Caps chat | (20:20) Sid and Ovi...and Geno | (48:23) Playoffs preview | (1:06:30) Leafs exposé!Buy merch!Support us on Patreon! ★ Support this podcast on Patreon ★