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You Know Me Now

You Know Me Now

Author: Rex Hohlbein and Tomasz Biernacki

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You Know Me Now is a Seattle based podcast giving voice to those marginalized in our community and those reaching out in service.

When we listen to those living different lives or views from our own, we begin a journey of understanding. An understanding of not only those around us, but also ourselves.

25 Episodes
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David knows first-hand the impacts of mass incarceration, after receiving a life sentence at the age 16. In his words, “being thrown away at 16 years old wasn’t the event. It was an exclamation point” on the consistent messaging he’s been receiving his whole life from systems that failed to see his humanity. He was released after serving 24 years, following legislative reform of juvenile sentencing standards due to a new understanding of youth brain science. Today David is 46 years old. He is the Director of Vision and Values at The Black Rose Collective. He works to develop community partnerships with individuals, groups and movements who share an alignment with and affinity for dismantling systems of oppression.David was in the second cohort of Unlocked Futures’ social entrepreneurs impacted by the criminal injustice system, formed through a partnership with New Profit and John Legend's nonprofit organization FREEAMERICA.Join in on the conversation on our Facebook page at https://www.facebook.com/goodoldlistening/Instagramhttps://www.instagram.com/you_know_me_now_stories/More stories can be found at https://www.youknowmenow.com/
David knows first-hand the impacts of mass incarceration, after receiving a life sentence at the age 16. In his words, “being thrown away at 16 years old wasn’t the event. It was an exclamation point” on the consistent messaging he’s been receiving his whole life from systems that failed to see his humanity. He was released after serving 24 years, following legislative reform of juvenile sentencing standards due to a new understanding of youth brain science. Today David is 46 years old. He is the Director of Vision and Values at The Black Rose Collective. He works to develop community partnerships with individuals, groups and movements who share an alignment with and affinity for dismantling systems of oppression.David was in the second cohort of Unlocked Futures’ social entrepreneurs impacted by the criminal injustice system, formed through a partnership with New Profit and John Legend's nonprofit organization FREEAMERICA.Join in on the conversation on our Facebook page at https://www.facebook.com/goodoldlistening/Instagramhttps://www.instagram.com/you_know_me_now_stories/More stories can be found at https://www.youknowmenow.com/
This is the 3rd and last part of an episode called The Skipping Rock.In this 3rd part of Casey’s story, we cover some of the most traumatic events of her life. She admits openly that due to the heavy drug use, trauma, and instability during this time, she has gaps in her memory, making it difficult to connect everything together. Rather than tell this chapter of Casey's life in a chronological order, as we usually try to do, we’ve decided to bring forward events, or moments, that best express what Casey was going through. As a young woman living homeless, heavily addicted and working in the sex trade, she was just trying to survive. Through these events we will continue to explore the idea of choice. When we left Casey in the last episode, in Part Two, she was heavily addicted to street drugs, so much so that she was no longer able to dance at the strip clubs. This not only robbed her income, it took away her sense of being in community. Now that that was gone, she was trapped in an increasingly vicious cycle of doing drugs to be able to do the sex work, so she could make the money to pay for the drugs, that she was taking to do the sex work.Join in on the conversation on our Facebook page at https://www.facebook.com/goodoldlistening/Instagramhttps://www.instagram.com/you_know_me_now_stories/More stories and our new Artist Spotlight can be found at https://www.youknowmenow.com/
This is Part 2 of a 3 part episode called The Skipping Rock - We recommend you listen to Part 1 first, which will undoubtedly give greater meaning to the following Parts two and three. When we left Casey in the last episode, in Part One, she was making some big decisions in her life, wanting to not only leave the trauma and dysfunction of her childhood behind, but also coming to grips with having to earn a living. She decided to take a waitressing job at a strip club, which led to dancing, and the fast money of the sex industry.Casey was 18 years old.Suddenly she had a nice house, a car she loved, and plenty of money, all part of the fast paced life she was now living. For her, at that moment, it was working, she had arrived, and was going to enjoy it. There were lots of friends, lots of alcohol, and plenty of the attention she was seeking.As we enter back into Caseys world, one that was accelerating fast, she met someone that slowed things down, for a moment, someone that would mean a great deal to her.Join in on the conversation on our Facebook page at https://www.facebook.com/goodoldlistening/Instagramhttps://www.instagram.com/you_know_me_now_stories/More stories and our new Artist Spotlight can be found at https://www.youknowmenow.com/
While it is not always apparent in the moment, our life choices, all of them, the big complicated ones down to the little daily decisions, create the direction and opportunities of our life, our future, for better or worse. When someone is successful we often admire them for their smarts, for having made all the right choices. And conversely, when people are struggling, we pass judgment, thinking, “They should have made better choices.”But is it really that simple, to credit failure to bad choices being made? What if everyone IS trying to make the best choice possible at every opportunity, and that the issue is not simply one of bad choices, but rather a lack of available good options. In this episode we hear from Casey, a woman who will explore with us the idea of choice. What it means to fit in and find a way in life when choice is limited, or, removed altogether. When all you have in front of you are bad options.Join in on the conversation on our Facebook page at https://www.facebook.com/goodoldlistening/Instagramhttps://www.instagram.com/you_know_me_now_stories/More stories and our new Artist Spotlight can be found at https://www.youknowmenow.com/
EP019: Stone Dancer

EP019: Stone Dancer

2023-11-1249:56

In this episode we are talking with Benny. He has lived homeless in the Fremont neighborhood, artfully stacking stones on the parking strip, in the same place, for the last 30 plus years.It seems, in every family there is a person who is living a bit differently from the rest of the family. You could say, zigging when the others are zagging. Their lifestyle or life-choices are thought provoking in one moment, perplexing and challenging in the next. And yet, these differences are often what makes a family vibrant, positive forces in the dynamic. The varying views are appreciated for what they bring to the family mix. And while it is not always the case, in general, with family, we work to find ways to be inclusive and supportive of those differences. In other words, we try our best to make room for each other. For example, Uncle Maynard, who’s marching to a completely different drummer, who gets eye rolls around the table at Thanksgiving, is appreciated rather than pushed away for his nonconformity. How far beyond the family does this acceptance extend. How do we react when somebody in our community is marching to a different drummer? Do we make room for them? Do we work to be inclusive and supportive in the way we do for Uncle Maynard?Join in on the conversation on our Facebook page at https://www.facebook.com/goodoldlistening/Instagramhttps://www.instagram.com/you_know_me_now_stories/More stories and our new Artist Spotlight can be found at https://www.youknowmenow.com/Immediate need: About a year ago Benny was diagnosed with lung cancer. With chemo-therapy his cancer went into remission but In March 2023 the doctors determined the cancer was back. Benny has been given about 6 months to live. With rent and medical bills he is in desperate need of financial support. If you are moved by Benny’s life story, please consider donating to the Venmo account - @bennytherockman. All funds will go to Benny. 
When responding to complex societal issues, we are all familiar with the shortcomings of treating symptoms rather than causes. Even so, despite knowing this, we also all know how easy it is to go down that path. When an issue is screaming at us, any issue, our knee-jerk reaction is to just make it go away, make it stop.  When the city of Seattle puts up chain link fencing to keep the homeless out from under freeways and bridges, it is addressing a symptom, the unsightliness of encampments. The fences are meant to make it go away. We, as a community, passively allow it to happen because, in the moment, it feels better to not see what is unsightly. It is literally, out of sight, out of mind for us. However, for the homeless, they are still homeless. So how do we shift our focus to successfully addressing root issues rather than symptoms? How do we get past giving in to knee-jerk responses?We begin by understanding that, for the most part, the symptoms of homelessness are what the housed community feels and are impacted by and the root causes are what the unhoused community feels and are impacted by. When we respond to symptoms, we need to know that we are responding to our needs, rather than the needs of those struggling. It is an important distinction, an important and necessary shift.When we act compassionately, and intentionally, with this knowledge, we open ourselves to the uncertainty, to the uncomfortableness, of homelessness, and beautifully begin our own journey of addressing the root causes of others’ struggles. In this episode, we have the sincere pleasure of talking with Sparrow Etter Arlson. Sparrow has been living with intention toward her unhoused neighbors for the last 21 years. She is a co-founder of the Green Bean Coffeeshop, co-founder of Aurora Commons and its (SHE) Clinic, the acronym SHE standing for Safe, Healthy, and Empowered, and the Founder of Sacred Streets. Sparrow is now the Seattle Planning Specialist at King County Regional Homelessness Authority. Join in on the conversation on our Facebook page at https://www.facebook.com/goodoldlistening/Instagramhttps://www.instagram.com/you_know_me_now_stories/More stories and our new Artist Spotlight can be found at https://www.youknowmenow.com/
EP017: Taking the off-ramp

EP017: Taking the off-ramp

2023-08-1301:03:00

Blair helped James get into housing and have basic needs met, she helped reconnect him with family, and maybe, most of all, feel loved in the last few years of his life. And James, what he did for Blair was to change her life. He helped her take an off-ramp from the path she was on and in the process she found her voice and her purpose in life. Join in on the conversation on our Facebook page at https://www.facebook.com/goodoldlistening/Instagramhttps://www.instagram.com/you_know_me_now_stories/More stories can be found at https://www.youknowmenow.com/
EP016: Just Say Hello

EP016: Just Say Hello

2023-07-2901:00:00

Personal relationships can be thought of as the foundational supports of a healthy community. By simply getting to know each other, being exposed to different life experiences and views, we broaden ourselves and deepen our ability to empathize within the community. While we know this to be true, society appears to be increasingly slipping into polarized camps. We find ourselves in echo chambers, ones where there is little room for opposing views. This is happening at all political levels and around nearly every important issue. And while echo chambers are a form of immediate gratification, which is of course an instant feel good, they are an unhealthy environment for all of us. The good news is, we can easily do something about this! Starting today, right now, we can work to be more open with each other. To courageously be willing to hear and respect different views, lifestyles, beliefs, and choices, especially from people outside our circle. It begins when we Just Say Hello.When I first met Preacher he was living in a tent with his partner along the Ship Canal in the Fremont neighborhood. He had just been released from jail, several hours earlier, and his smile was still a mile wide because of it!Being invited into their tent, one of the first things I noticed was how meticulously organized and beautiful everything was, including the tapestries and little battery operated string lights hanging from the ceiling. It was not at all what I expected! While sitting there, taking in how they had made this tent a home, Preacher picked up his guitar and began singing a song he had written while in jail. It stopped me with how beautiful his voice was. I remember having a moment of really looking at him closer. As a gay black man, just out of jail, living homeless with nothing, I couldn’t imagine how he had been able to move through so many barriers. Join in on the conversation on our Facebook page at https://www.facebook.com/goodoldlistening/Instagramhttps://www.instagram.com/you_know_me_now_stories/More stories can be found at https://www.youknowmenow.com/
On this episode we are talking with Rev. Rick Reynolds. He has spent most of his life stepping closer, getting to know those struggling. For nearly 40 years he worked at the nonprofit Operation Nightwatch, most of that time as the Executive Director, engaging in direct action for those in need.For those of you that don’t know Rick, he is one of those cornerstones in Seattle around advocacy for the homeless. In short, he’s a big deal, although he wouldn’t tell you that, or probably even own up to it. Sitting with Rick, I was hoping to extract some large pearl of wisdom in this constant search for solutions Seattle finds itself in. To hopefully hear some aha moment.Join in on the conversation on our Facebook page at https://www.facebook.com/goodoldlistening/Instagramhttps://www.instagram.com/you_know_me_now_stories/More stories can be found at https://www.youknowmenow.com/
You Know Me Now would like to raise funds for hotel stay while housing can be found. You can Venmo funds to @YouKnowMeNow. Please list Daniel in your donation. No funds will be used by YKMN. If for whatever reason Daniel does not use all of the funds they will go to someone else struggling with homelessness and in need. If you have any questions you can call Rex 206-330-1142. The ‘WE NEED YOU NOW’ episodes are a quick call-out for all of us to step forward when direct and immediate action is needed for someone struggling in our community. The episodes are typically less than 15 minutes, being short and to the point, just enough to let us all know the situation and what is needed. We hope to build a network of like minded folks who want to get involved and help their neighbors in times of need. We believe this is what a healthy community looks like. Join in on the conversation on our Facebook page at https://www.facebook.com/goodoldlistening/Instagramhttps://www.instagram.com/you_know_me_now_stories/More stories can be found at https://www.youknowmenow.com/
EP013: The Learning Curve

EP013: The Learning Curve

2023-04-3001:22:00

The idea, or act, of Mutual Aid has been around for a long time, for a very long time. Perhaps, in the simplest form, from the beginning of time. Mutual Aid is nothing more than people coming together, in community, to take care of each other, often addressing basic needs and human rights that are not being met.The barriers, or, the reason for needs not being met and/or rights not being afforded, are often systemic and political. The people who get involved in Mutual Aid are motivated by the injustices and want to take part in direct action. Which includes, providing services, advocating for needed systems change, and connections through friendship. In this episode, you will be hearing from Kaitlyn, a young woman struggling through addiction, homelessness, and loss. When we first met Kaitlyn, she was in her tent suffering from a great deal of physical and emotional pain. She had an abscess located at her lower butt cheek, which was swollen and badly infected. In fact, she was burning up with a high fever. Even worse, for her, she was emotionally distraught over a stranger having taken Prince, her dog, her best friend.Join in on the conversation on our Facebook page at https://www.facebook.com/goodoldlistening/Instagramhttps://www.instagram.com/you_know_me_now_stories/More stories can be found at https://www.youknowmenow.com/
For folks who don't know Tent City 3 is operated by the 501C(3) non profit called SHARE / WHEEL which stands for Seattle Housing and Resource Effort and its partner organization Women's Housing Equality and Enhancement League. Both organizations have deep roots in Seattle with their birth during the 1990 Goodwill games.The self managed community model that SHARE/WHEEL developed in the 1990’s is one of the first in the country. From the beginning, Tent City 3 has moved quarterly to different host locations throughout the city, mostly to church parking lots. In early January, for this episode, I spent two days and one night at Tent City 3. They were located on a small parking lot between the Husky stadium and lake Washington on the UW campus.While I got to know a number of residents during the time there, such as Kendra, Osh, Andrew, Ryan, Sebastian, Rebekah, and others, most of my time was spent hanging out with Sean Smith.Sean is one of the camp leaders who has years of experience operating tent cities and his time with SHARE goes back really to the beginning of the organization. We started our conversation with his childhood memories.Join in on the conversation on our Facebook page at https://www.facebook.com/goodoldlistening/Instagramhttps://www.instagram.com/you_know_me_now_stories/More stories can be found at https://www.youknowmenow.com/
On February 19 2023 Rex delivered a sermon during morning worship at the University Unitarian Church in Seattle. He focused on homelessness in Seattle and building relationships between people who sleep outside and people who are housed. Full video version is available on the episode page on https://www.youknowmenow.com/Join in on the conversation on our Facebook page at https://www.facebook.com/goodoldlistening/Instagramhttps://www.instagram.com/you_know_me_now_stories/More stories can be found at https://www.youknowmenow.com/
EP010: I have more to offer

EP010: I have more to offer

2023-02-2601:09:00

There were 310 homeless deaths in 2022 in the Seattle area. A 65% increase over the previous year. Fentanyl-related overdoses accounted for more than half of those deaths. Thirty-five people died from natural causes, ten people died from hypothermia or exposure, and seven died from suicide. The average age of death was 48.Those are all tragically horrible numbers. It’s hard to get your head around them, to even know how to feel. In this episode we want to share about one person who lived chronically homeless in Seattle. Just one of the 310 that passed away in 2022.Join in on the conversation on our Facebook page at https://www.facebook.com/goodoldlistening/Instagramhttps://www.instagram.com/you_know_me_now_stories/More stories can be found at https://www.youknowmenow.com/
When I was a kid growing up, nobody talked about mental illness. At least openly that is. There were the hushed talks about so-and-so’s mom losing it and having to be committed to a psych-ward. Being taken away, put in a hospital somewhere. Or a friend’s Uncle who ‘went off the deep end’, now getting help with his break-down, whatever that meant. As a kid, it was all a mystery.Back then, if you or someone in your family was getting mental health help, of any kind, nobody talked about it. It was purposefully kept quiet in a tight circle of family and close friends. There was a big stigma around saying you needed help.Today, thankfully, that is changing. Not only are there an increasing number of people seeking various forms of mental health help, the idea of it is becoming comfortable and accepted. People are more open, want to share and talk about it. It’s commonplace to hear someone say, “Hey, I gotta run, I’ve gotta get to my therapy session.” It feels like we are living through a time where the stigma around mental illness is being dismantled.However, there is still a big hurdle in front of us. For those suffering with mental health issues, the available help is severely lacking. This is particularly and painfully true for those struggling through homelessness.Join in on the conversation on our Facebook page at https://www.facebook.com/goodoldlistening/Instagramhttps://www.instagram.com/you_know_me_now_stories/More stories can be found at https://www.youknowmenow.com/
On this episode we have a conversation about people and their pets living homeless.I want to begin with what I think is a truism. And that is, “We all have issues.” For some, the issues are small and containable, while for others, the issues are big and overwhelming. Truth is though, we all struggle with something, or, somethings. The problem with the bigger personal issues, is that they can spill out into the public eye, out behind closed doors. Those are really tough moments for folks, trying to navigate not just their own feelings, but now also the feelings and judgments of others, people they might not even know. We all get this. We learned from an early age that you don’t air your dirty laundry in public. People, and entire families, go to great lengths to hide their issues, to make everything look ‘normal’.Now consider what this means for those struggling through homelessness. Where every aspect of their personal life is on full-display. There are no closed doors to keep issues quiet behind. In this environment, the homeless receive a nearly constant stream of judgment from those that don’t know them or their circumstances. Why don't they pick up their garbage? Nevermind that there is nowhere to put it. If they can afford a cell phone, why are they begging for money? Nevermind that the phone can be their only real connection to family, friends, and services. How can they take care of a dog when they can’t even take care of themself? This last question is one we want to dive into with all of you. Join in on the conversation on our Facebook page at https://www.facebook.com/goodoldlistening/Instagramhttps://www.instagram.com/you_know_me_now_stories/More stories can be found at https://www.youknowmenow.com/
EP007: But first, housing

EP007: But first, housing

2022-11-2001:12:00

We have the sincere pleasure of sharing with you a conversation I had with my dear friend Sinan Demirel. We talked about the issue of homelessness, first from a historical perspective, to better understand how we got to this crisis point, and then a bit about solutions needed from the community and our government. Join in on the conversation on our Facebook page at https://www.facebook.com/goodoldlistening/Instagramhttps://www.instagram.com/you_know_me_now_stories/More stories can be found at https://www.youknowmenow.com/
We want to begin this episode by asking a big question.  With all the suffering, all the helplessness and fear felt, as expressed by Dene and others living on our streets, why have we not ended homelessness?  Beyond what the solution needs to be, whatever combination of more housing, more mental health, more drug rehab, more job training, and whatever else ‘more’ is needed, why haven’t we made it happen? Could it be that we are only seeing the forest, and because of it genuinely missing the trees? Are we so overwhelmed by the larger issue of homelessness, we are truly missing the person going through. When folks living inside discuss homelessness, among each other, the conversation often ends up being about how (quote, unquote) “the issue” affects them or their neighborhood. To put it directly, what impacts the lives of the housed is what gets talked about when discussing the unhoused. That list includes…. the piling up of garbage, drug-use, loss of park use, taxes, panhandling, right down to how the homeless smell and look on public transit. And because many people living inside are frankly tired of it, or overwhelmed by it, or even angry over it, often the knee-jerk reaction is to want, all of it, the whole issue, to just go-away. As community, we then support, or quietly consent, while the city erects chain link fencing around areas that were providing cover from the rain for those without shelter. We are okay with hostile architecture installed that prevents people from being able to sleep on benches, where they can be off the ground. We are put-off when we see folks hiding in the bushes or back alleys publicly going to the bathroom but we don’t demand public bathrooms and garbage pickup for those without a place to live. We turn away when sweeps are conducted, not seeing the lives being uprooted. Despite these types of actions, as well as the efforts to provide programs and services, the issue not only persists, it is getting worse. We have to ask ourselves, really, “Why is that?” “What are we missing here?”  Is only seeing the issue of homelessness and its effect on us, the housed, part of the problem? Would our programs and services change if we changed how we see the issue, meaning seeing the person actually suffering through homelessness?  join in on the conversation on our Facebook page at https://www.facebook.com/goodoldlistening/Instagramhttps://www.instagram.com/you_know_me_now_stories/More stories can be found at https://www.youknowmenow.com/
EP005: The Sweep

EP005: The Sweep

2022-09-2901:42:00

In this episode of You Know Me Now we’ll be discussing the controversial government policy of sweeps.  If you are not familiar with the term, a sweep is the forced disbanding of a homeless encampment on public property.  The act of sweeping is typically performed by a combination of police, tow trucks, dumpster trucks, and any other needed government agency to accomplish the task. For example, when parks are involved, often the Parks Department is included. During a sweep all individuals, regardless of their circumstance or condition, along with all of their personal property, are removed from the area.   This is fairly straightforward. Government removing people and belongings from locations where laws have made it illegal to reside.  Sweeps are often set into motion when individuals in business and residential neighborhoods complain that the laws are not being enforced. In short, homed individuals reach a tipping point and want something done.  This seems reasonable. I think everyone can sympathize with those that have been impacted by a homeless encampment either near their business, out front of their home, or in the park they enjoy. It is clearly unfair that the impact of homelessness should be felt by a few when it is in fact a larger community issue and responsibility. However, sweeps as a solution have not proven to be an answer to, or even a path towards, addressing homelessness. Yes they provide immediate relief to those being impacted, but the issue itself is not being resolved by sweeping, only swept to a new location where another neighborhood is then impacted.  There is a plethora of information around homelessness, including sweeps. Most of it comes in the form of collected data around programs, policies, services, resources, and budgets. What gets missed in all the data is the human being being swept. Nobody is measuring increased levels of trauma, or how many steps back are taken in what is already a difficult path to move forward on for those struggling with homelessness. It is accurate to say, sweeps are conducted to benefit the homed, not the homeless.  In a situation where people are illegally living on public land, why should our policies and programs be structured to benefit them? What’s wrong with sweeps just benefiting those living legally? To quote many folks living outside, when told to ‘move along’, they will answer, “Move along to where?” One of the fundamental flaws with sweeps is that there is no safe place to be swept to. All the land is spoken for. When housing is offered often it ends up being unavailable or unsuitable to that person’s real needs.   It is also important to remember that each person living on the street has a profound and true story of why they are there. Nobody just chooses homelessness. Often, beginning very early in childhood, some form of trauma is experienced, knocking them off their life path. While most of us move forward on our journey, working to fulfill our hopes and dreams, those who have been traumatized spend a great deal of time just getting back to the start line, just trying to survive. For this reason alone we owe it to those struggling on our streets. If we are going to address homelessness in a meaningful way, our programs need to also fit the needs of the homeless, not just the homed. Our actions must be thoughtful and sensitive to not only do no harm, but to also actively provide paths forward. This begins by listening to those living on our streets.In this episode you will hear from people who have recent, first hand experience of what it's like to be swept.  Also we talk to a few very passionate folks from Stop the Sweeps Seattle, a mutual aid group who advocate for services over sweeps.We hope you join in on the conversation on our Facebook page at https://www.facebook.com/goodoldlistening/More stories can be found at https://www.youknowmenow.com/
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