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Your Favorite Band Sucks

Author: Mark Mosley & Tyler Mahan Coe

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Pro Tip: start with an episode on a band you don’t like! Everyone’s favorite band sucks. That’s a science fact. But it’s a whole lot more comfortable on the Sun’s side of the magnifying glass than the ant’s side. So don’t press play on the episodes about your actual favorite bands, like Sublime, until you’ve laughed along to Mark's and Tyler's dismantling rantings on the entire careers of a few bands everyone should agree are among the very worst things to ever happen to music, like The Beatles.

59 Episodes
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It's the least wonderful time of the year!Those of you who've been with us from the beginning know we aren't about to let a holiday season come and go without another attempt to end the single worst genre: Christmas music. It all sucks... It's all bad... But we have the antidote!Just to make sure it's been attacked from every possible angle, Your Favorite Band Sucks comes back once a year for another episode about how much Christmas Music sucks. This year, Mark and Tyler raise their glasses (and middle fingers) to "12 Days of Christmas," Justin Bieber, Charles DICKens, caroling and more. Horny Christmas songs? You bet. Country Christmas songs? They're here. Metal Christmas songs? Hell yes.You must be thinking, "Dang! This sounds like the best thing to ever happen for everyone who hates Christmas music!" You're right, it is. And anyone who doesn't like it can get kicked straight in the jingle bells for all we care.
Depeche Mode Sucks

Depeche Mode Sucks

2019-11-2100:47:591

Ever ask yourself why Depeche Mode is always the favorite band of people who've ruined your whole life? Wonder no more, friends and neighbors! A day of healing is upon us!The thing is: there's a fundamental problem with every Depeche Mode song. Today, Mark & Tyler strap in to gently explain what's going on here. A lot of people are gonna learn a lot about themselves in this episode but, don't worry, you won't need a safe word.Repeat after us: Depeche Mode sucks... Depeche Mode sucks... Depeche Mode sucks...
Journey Sucks

Journey Sucks

2019-11-0701:02:50

Long before the San Francisco Bay Area decided to destroy Western civilization using Silicon Valley's latest social media apps, they tried destroying us with insipid arena rock.Fair's fair, the band Journey has the best singer of probably anyone that's been featured on our show so far (and a lot of their album covers were pretty sick) but not even the golden throat of Steve Perry can keep this chrome-plated spaceship on course. From "Wheel in the Sky" to "Faithfully," "Don't Stop Believin'" that Mark and Tyler are prepared to do whatever it takes to keep you from choosing any of Journey's Greatest Hits on your next visit to the karaoke bar - even if that means singing every last Journey hit themselves...Journey sucks!
Slipknot Sucks

Slipknot Sucks

2019-10-2400:48:071

The only reason they named this band Slipknot is because "Hot Topic" was already trademarked.Look, all we're saying is if you made music and it was this bad then you'd probably want to hide behind a mask, too. Does it seriously take nine people to suck this hard? How many shows did they do with eight members before deciding it just didn't suck enough and they had to throw in one more? They could have gone all the way to ten, except this is mall metal for people who lose fingers in firework accidents and can't count that high.
The Shins Suck

The Shins Suck

2019-10-1000:37:29

Ah, yes, the band that changed the lives of everyone who saw the worst movie of The 2000's, which also happened to be one of the most widely viewed movies of the decade due to the fact that everyone between the ages of 18 and 45 was evidently a total moron in The 2000s. Why should anyone care now? Well, how exactly do you think we got in this mess? This is how.The Shins don't just suck. They sucked so hard and made so much money doing it that every indie band fell all over themselves to follow in their footsteps, buy glockenspiels and get every TV/movie/commercial sync deal they could. This is the way a genre ends. Not with a bang but with a whimper.
Never have fans. Trust us, you'll regret it.For some reason, there are a lot of people who see a podcast about their terrible taste in music as an invitation to contact the hosts and, y'know, say things... Yeah, it's pretty inexcusable behavior but, since we don't seem to be able to put a stop to it, we may as well share some of the best/worst specimens.Here's the first YFBS mini-episode! Mark and Tyler give their no-holds-barred, completely uncensored responses to fan mail. (And, let's be clear, every e-mail we get is fan mail, especially the rage-fueled, typo'd-at-3am-half-drunk-in-your-underwear emails. You're a fan. We don't like it either but you're a fan. Deal with it.)Enjoy!
Gorillaz Suck

Gorillaz Suck

2019-09-2600:31:581

Clint Eastwood should sue these clowns.Anyone remember when cartoons were for kids and nobody on the planet would dream of confusing the soundtrack with, you know, music? Gorillaz make albums for adults who still eat bowls of cereal for breakfast. The favorite band of Eloi everywhere.It's offensive that anyone thinks we're supposed to take this seriously. Gorillaz suck.
Oasis Sucks

Oasis Sucks

2019-09-1200:47:071

Alright, here's your proof.Oasis is hard evidence that talent and work ethic have nothing to do with "making it" in music. If millions of people bought this, they'd buy anything. Liam Gallagher is maybe the worst singer that's been discussed on our show so far. Noel Gallagher has probably been sued for plagiarism more times than Madonna. It's a miracle he's never tried to pass off "Mary Had a Little Lamb" as an original composition. BONUS: every single jerkoff cover of "Wonderwall" that you've ever had to hear is this band's fault.But, hey, we'll admit the Gallaghers seem like very nice guys!
You'd think a band with this many songs about drugs could be more than a one-hit wonder but that's just how much Queens of the Stone Age sucks. Someone should invent time travel just so we can send these guys back to prehistory for more guitar riffs.Queens fans think it's impossible to dislike this band. Press play. We'll show you how it's done.
The Strokes Suck

The Strokes Suck

2019-08-1500:55:571

From a music business standpoint, here's a textbook example of what not to do. Those of you who remember how this all went down (and, boy, did it go down), you know why this hilarious history lesson is necessary, even though The Strokes never actually did a single thing that mattered, one single thing to deliver on the hype fabricated around them. Just like they requested, The Strokes are well on their way to ultimately being forgotten. Dig out your fave vintage t-shirt that you bought on eBay and wear it one more time while we take this little trip down memory lane...
Phil Collins Sucks

Phil Collins Sucks

2019-08-0100:47:25

Phil Collins sucks so much that it almost feels mean to make fun of him. But we are mean, so who cares? We'll admit that it's honestly pretty impressive how much of a douchebag this guy is but that's not enough for us to excuse the sheer amount of terrible music he's created. If the only song he ever made was "In the Air Tonight," then he'd probably still deserve an episode because that's among the actual worst songs that has ever been made by anyone. And that's only one Phil Collins song. It's terrifying to consider how many more episodes of this podcast we could make about him but that's only to be expected when Ringo Starr is the only drummer in history who is more overrated than Phil.
Rush Sucks

Rush Sucks

2019-07-1800:58:181

This is the best Canada can do, huh? You know what? Have this one back. No, no. We’re fine. Honestly. Yes, you seem very polite but you're clearly trying to convince us that Rush is something other than a Trojan horse to brainwash Americans into acting like even bigger jerks than normal. Get someone smarter than an 8th grader to write the lyrics next time, thanks. The only thing we're still wondering is why anyone thinks any member of this band is great at their instrument.
Madonna Sucks: Part Two

Madonna Sucks: Part Two

2019-07-0400:40:121

Last episode, we went in on Madonna’s lack of originality and talent. Today, we try to understand the why of it all. To what end, all this thievery and stirring up of controversy?Maybe the answer lies somewhere deep inside “Like a Virgin.” Of course, her illustrious acting career cannot be overlooked. There's the groundbreaking Ray of Light album. And there's always, always, some recent example of Madonna doing something even dumber than ever before, such as releasing new music in the year 2019. Madame X needs to X-cuse herself from the spotlight and retire.
Madonna Sucks

Madonna Sucks

2019-06-2000:34:36

She can’t sing. She can’t dance. She can’t act. She has no personality of her own. There’s a 90% chance anything anyone thinks she deserves credit for is just something they don’t know was done by someone else, first and better.Can’t figure out what so many people see in Madonna? Trust us, you’re missing nothing. Here's what it takes to be a Madonna fan: you had to be there and you had to have no awareness that Madonna is the bluntest object in the cutting edge drawer. Listen and learn.
Daft Punk Sucks

Daft Punk Sucks

2019-06-0600:30:11

This might be an episode on Daft Punk and it might not. There's really no way to know... Okay, fine, it is an episode about how much Daft Punk (or whoever's underneath those helmets) sucks. Spoiler Alert: it comes down to way more than the helmets.People who have strong opinions about which Daft Punk album is better than other Daft Punk albums are the same people who have strong opinions about whether Shake Shack burgers are better than In-N-Out burgers. Today, Mark and Tyler are your doctors, here to remind you that all of this crap is terrible for you.
Blink 182 Sucks

Blink 182 Sucks

2019-05-2300:35:01

Yes, this is seriously a podcast with an episode where two adult men sit down to have a discussion about the band Blink 182. If that comes as a surprise to you, it's quite possible you don't even really understand what this show is about.Mark and Tyler are on a mission. It's classified, of course, but there's more than meets the eye and all is not always as it seems. If it was as simple as saying "Blink 182 sucks" and walking away, all anyone would need to have their own hit podcast is a list of YFBS episode titles. (Go ahead. Give it a try.)No. There are great, unknowable mysteries in this universe. From flying saucers to Fyre festivals, pop punk takes another turn in the hot seat today - press play.
Neutral Milk Hotel Sucks

Neutral Milk Hotel Sucks

2019-05-0900:40:21

We know many YFBS listeners have never heard of Neutral Milk Hotel. Crib Notes: they made an album that is basically the Catcher in the Rye of indie music (still sells 20k copies a year), which is REALLY WEIRD cuz... Well, just listen to the episode.Everyone who's already aware of this band's existence knows this episode is a candidate for the YFBS Hall of Fame. None of this was ever okay and anyone involved in any way ought to be ashamed of themselves. You know better. Now, press play and take your medicine so maybe we can live in a world where these In the Aeroplane over the Sea men aren't allowed to get away with this ever again.
Pink Floyd Sucks

Pink Floyd Sucks

2019-04-2500:44:48

Did we take too much?Is Pink Floyd really allowed to put the same song on their album three times and not have fans lined up for a refund? Maybe that's just something you gotta do when your band only came up with two melodies in their whole career. (See also: ten minute sections where nothing happens. See also: an audio-only cooking show where a song should be.)But none of that explains how Pink Floyd got away with exploiting their first singer's mental breakdown as source material for Dark Side of the Moon, which has sold HOW MANY COPIES?!?
REM Sucks

REM Sucks

2019-04-1100:37:34

REM is the band that invented Indie Alternative Everything and became The Best American Band Ever, right? Right? Absolutely not. You want to know what really happened here? These guys heard cool records before the other kids did. Such geniuses!One of the most hilarious things about REM is their fans think this is somehow different than Matchbox 20. But whatever you do, don't ask one of those same fans about their vintage REM tour t-shirt. Just, trust us. Don't.
Christmas music is literally the worst. If you hate it, you're probably having an awful day right now. Here's a surprise, unannounced episode about how much Christmas music sucks. It's also the longest episode we've ever made. Laugh it off.Yeah, we already made an episode about Christmas music. It was the third one. We remember. But that's how much Christmas music sucks! We can and will go back, time and again, to this endless wellspring of evil! This year, every band covered on the show so far has to answer for their crimes in the genre and we take a deeper look at the history of this most awful of holidays!
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Comments (157)

Dothrak Qanno

Comment section full of whiney little assholes. Anyone who wants opinions on music that aren't gonna kowtow to shitty, mundane standards that people have for art are gonna like this podcast. Just take the cork out of your ass and accept that the premise is facetious in the first place, like a comedy central roast. These guys have badmouthed the absolute living shit out of my favorite bands Radiohead, NIN, the Smiths and others and I've just laughed along with them. I also guarantee that they're better people than most people complaining about them; class conscious and gender positive all around, always pointing out when a band is misogynistic or have done skeevy marketing tactics. Don't judge them based on their tone and actually listen to what they have to say, you might learn a thing or two

Dec 13th
Reply

Liam Keele

do David Allen Coe sucks please...please do it.

Dec 11th
Reply (2)

Ryan Mcnally

gotta be the worst kind of doucchebags.

Nov 25th
Reply (1)

Jonas Grumbie

I can't believe they didn't mention how disgusting and incestuous the song "cousin Dupree' is.

Nov 14th
Reply (1)

Jonas Grumbie

this is the best episode.

Nov 13th
Reply (3)

Drew Anderson

the comments on kyuss make it seem like these guys actually know very little about rock culture. I dunno, I usually agree with them, but to consider Kyuss a footnote or something in rock history is hilariously wrong in my mind.

Nov 6th
Reply (3)

Liam Keele

how about David Allen Coe sucks?????

Oct 28th
Reply (1)

stephen murray

I broke my rib earlier in the week. I thought listening to this would cheer me up. it did but the laughter has sent me into excruciating pain. I wonder if Slipknot would approve.

Oct 24th
Reply

Kevin Abraham

No. Fuckin pathetic. Your favourite band sucks, sucks. Bye.

Oct 2nd
Reply (1)

Zengie

Linkin Park nevertheless..

Sep 20th
Reply

Brando

Stairway to Heaven rips off "Let It Grow" by Eric Clapton 👌 Stairway sucks buffalo balls sack.

Aug 30th
Reply

pghbeardeddad

https://images.app.goo.gl/Ry2t4vf4SDbx1T2MA hahahahahahaahay

Aug 27th
Reply (1)

Theodore Logan Wentz-Esquire III

This podcast sucks.

Aug 17th
Reply

Doctor Yacht

These guys sound like my try-hard 15 year old son and his friends sharing their dumb overly loud negative opinions about anything that isn't punk enough for their sensibilities. My good friend, who usually has taste, recommended this to me, but I can't understand why he thought I'd like listening to a bunch of punker-than-thou jackasses on their high horses screech over eachother.

Aug 8th
Reply (1)

Zengie

Do Eminem

Aug 2nd
Reply

Travis Riddle

unsubscribed. edge lord's being edgy. opinions are like assholes, and so are these guys.

Aug 1st
Reply (4)

Jade Jacobsen

I've hated Metallica since some kind of monster. I was 99 percent sure st anger was the worst album ever. had to look up lulu. holy shit! why are they still a band? worst guitar solos. shit lyrics. dick drummer. absolute trash.

Jul 31st
Reply (1)

blue jay

f5%nun8tk8aialtq8qkwkkk2i

Jul 27th
Reply

Marie Celeste

So I'm surprised this wasn't mentioned about Madonna. She's from Michigan and tries too hard to pretend she's not. Now her daughter is going to a Michigan College. Things that make you go hmmm... Also, I used to know her brother who lived homeless in Traverse City, but last time I saw him was in 2005. While he's homeless because of his own actions (alcoholism), I say true love and kindness is seeing someone in a bad place and doing everything to save them, even if it ends the relationship. She claims she's tried helping him, but I don't believe it.

Jul 23rd
Reply (1)

stephen murray

I imagine Alex Lifeson would find this podcast hilarious.

Jul 18th
Reply (1)
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