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Your Favorite Band Sucks
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Your Favorite Band Sucks

Author: Mark Mosley & Tyler Mahan Coe

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Congratulations, you've found the bravest podcast on the Internet! Now, let’s review the facts: there’s no such thing as good art and it’s a red flag for any adult to have a favorite band. Naturally, most of you will disagree with that statement. That's fine. If it helps, pretend the hosts are only playing a drinking game. Some algorithm randomly assigns a band to deconstruct and that's all Mark and Tyler are doing in every episode. Start with an easy one, some band everyone already knows is trash, like The Beatles or The Clash. Laugh along, “Hahaha! So funny... Yes...” With time, though, the realization is inevitable: this is a true crime podcast. Culture is a pyramid scheme and your favorite band is just the soundtrack to a fake vintage t-shirt. (Your favorite t-shirt also sucks, by the way. This podcast sells better shirts at shop.yfbspod.com because we care.) In the end, it all comes down to one question: can you find the inner strength it takes to press play and learn why Your Favorite Band Sucks?

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73 Episodes
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Well, it turns out we weren't ready for the jelly. Talking about this soap opera of a "group" took longer than we thought it would, so here's Part 2: The Bootylicious-ing! Can Mark & Tyler prove themselves survivors? Listen and see.
Destiny's Child Sucks

Destiny's Child Sucks

2020-07-0945:38

Let's just say there's such a thing as your dad being too big of a Jackson 5 fan. There's also a reason your worst high school girlfriend listened to Destiny's Child. Ready for this history lesson on 90s pop? No, you're not. You could never be ready for us to tell you EVERYTHING THE ILLUMINATI DOESN'T WANT YOU TO KNOW about Destiny's Child... You could never be ready for this jelly.
Beck Sucks: Part 2

Beck Sucks: Part 2

2020-06-2546:10

This guy should have been a one-hit wonder and we never should have had to do a single episode about him. But no... You people had to start taking him seriously after Odelay and now this is happening: Beck Sucks, Pt. 2: Beck to the Future! Mark & Tyler get into the ridiculous critical acceptance of "Sad Beck," the Grammy Awards and, inevitably, more Scientology...
Beck Sucks

Beck Sucks

2020-06-1139:09

Beck is the only argument needed against having respect for 90s pop culture. This is what every 8th grade boy in America was like before ADHD meds were invented. Beck's music is what it would sound like if chugging a 3-liter of Surge cola and shooting yourself in the b-hole with a paintball gun was a band. Now add Scientology. See?
Beethoven Sucks

Beethoven Sucks

2020-05-2801:09:551

It's no exaggeration to say this podcast probably wouldn't exist without the everlasting influence of Ludwig van Beethoven on music. This guy sucks so much he basically invented it. This guy sucks so bad it killed classical music entirely - which is actually pretty awesome, not gonna lie. This guy sucks so hard we had to make a long episode AND A NEW T-SHIRT about it... Press play, then head over to shop.yfbspod.com to check out Tyler's original artwork and pre-order the new shirt!
Pantera Sucks

Pantera Sucks

2020-05-1452:111

This is what happens when you’re too ugly for hair metal. Honestly, the guys in Pantera should have worn MORE makeup if they wanted to record a soundtrack to the evil western KISS would have made if they were actually badass. Then they had to go and single-handedly destroy the genre of metal. Thanks, guys. Pantera sucks.
The suck level in Billy Joel's career was simply too much to cram everything in one episode, so Mark and Tyler came back for seconds. Since you people let this guy have somewhere close to a dozen Top 10 pop songs, quite a few of those need to be discussed at length.* Just like every great sequel, it's everything you loved about the first one... but more! The generation gap gets wider! Billy Joel gets richer and further out of touch! The ripoffs get ripped offer! We finally start the fire! *The album version of "Piano Man" is nearly six minutes long.
Billy Joel Sucks

Billy Joel Sucks

2020-04-1647:59

When you look up the word "hack" in the dictionary, it would be really helpful if they included a picture of Billy Joel, since he is perhaps the most successful hack in the history of recorded music. Afraid listening to Elton John will turn you gay? Don't worry, Billy's tough! Wish you had the pipes to sing along with Nilsson? Simply lower your standards! Speaking of low standards for entertainment, on a scale of 1 to 10, how much fun does a night at a piano bar sound to you? If you said anything higher than 1, there's a solid chance that Billy Joel is your favorite entertainer! That sucks!
Nickelback Sucks

Nickelback Sucks

2020-04-0149:27

In these trying times, it's important to focus on things that bring us together rather than tear us apart. We need to unite against a common enemy and that enemy is... Nickelback. At what point do we stop giving our neighbors in The Great White North benefit of the doubt? It can't be a coincidence that all of the worst music comes from Canada, can it? Rush, Celine Dion, Leonard Cohen. It's like, what are you people doing up there? You know you're not supposed to eat the yellow snow, right? Anyway, once we opened up our Apple Podcast reviews to requests, one band kept popping up again and again. We figured everyone could use a win right now, so... You wanted it, you got: Nickelback Sucks! P.S. Since we love you so much, we went ahead and filmed the recording session for this one. Find us on YouTube if you want to watch us make the show!
Arcade Fire Sucks

Arcade Fire Sucks

2020-03-1949:462

Is this a band or a sect of Mormonism that worships The Internet? You do kind of want to admire these kids for trying to wage war against music journalists but they should pick on someone their own size next time if they wanna win. Maybe a class of fifth-graders? Also, how is this band NOT from Portland, Oregon? The official soundtrack of taking a book with you to the bar so everyone knows you plan on being smart someday: Arcade Fire sucks!
Mastodon Sucks

Mastodon Sucks

2020-03-0550:523

Remember when everyone asked the left half of a human evolution chart to create the Biff's Notes version of a Moby Dick audiobook? Yeah, neither do we. Mastodon sucks.
Coheed and Cambria Sucks

Coheed and Cambria Sucks

2020-02-2043:211

Oh, hey, it's everyone's favorite soundtrack to a comic book series! Which, turns out, is nobody's favorite soundtrack to a comic book series because that isn't a thing anyone wants and this entire idea is terrible. Look, we're all about escapist fiction. Your life is trash. We get it. But when it reaches the point of slaughtering babies in outer space, you've maybe escaped a little bit too far. Grab a seat and strap in as Mark and Tyler take you to the moon and back to learn how much Coheed and Cambria sucks.
You wanted it, you got it! Well, okay, maybe you didn't want it but there have certainly been enough idiots who said "Oh YeaH? WHat aRE SoMe oF UR guYs FaVRitE BaNDz?" to justify a Top 10 Albums of the Decade Mini-Episode. Here that is.
The Clash Sucks

The Clash Sucks

2020-02-0601:00:012

OK Boomer Punks, make sure your bifocals are clean because today's episode takes a clear-eyed look at probably the most influential ska band of all time, The Clash. Songwriting, singing, musicianship, ethics - apparently none of these were requirements for becoming legends back in the '70s, as long as everyone thought one of your album covers was cool. It's true, you were lied to and that's not right or fair but we're here to fix it. Please consult a doctor before listening if you take blood pressure meds.
It's the least wonderful time of the year! Those of you who've been with us from the beginning know we aren't about to let a holiday season come and go without another attempt to end the single worst genre: Christmas music. It all sucks... It's all bad... But we have the antidote! Just to make sure it's been attacked from every possible angle, Your Favorite Band Sucks comes back once a year for another episode about how much Christmas Music sucks. This year, Mark and Tyler raise their glasses (and middle fingers) to "12 Days of Christmas," Justin Bieber, Charles DICKens, caroling and more. Horny Christmas songs? You bet. Country Christmas songs? They're here. Metal Christmas songs? Hell yes. You must be thinking, "Dang! This sounds like the best thing to ever happen for everyone who hates Christmas music!" You're right, it is. And anyone who doesn't like it can get kicked straight in the jingle bells for all we care.
Depeche Mode Sucks

Depeche Mode Sucks

2019-11-2147:591

Ever ask yourself why Depeche Mode is always the favorite band of people who've ruined your whole life? Wonder no more, friends and neighbors! A day of healing is upon us! The thing is: there's a fundamental problem with every Depeche Mode song. Today, Mark & Tyler strap in to gently explain what's going on here. A lot of people are gonna learn a lot about themselves in this episode but, don't worry, you won't need a safe word. Repeat after us: Depeche Mode sucks... Depeche Mode sucks... Depeche Mode sucks...
Journey Sucks

Journey Sucks

2019-11-0701:02:50

Long before the San Francisco Bay Area decided to destroy Western civilization using Silicon Valley's latest social media apps, they tried destroying us with insipid arena rock. Fair's fair, the band Journey has the best singer of probably anyone that's been featured on our show so far (and a lot of their album covers were pretty sick) but not even the golden throat of Steve Perry can keep this chrome-plated spaceship on course. From "Wheel in the Sky" to "Faithfully," "Don't Stop Believin'" that Mark and Tyler are prepared to do whatever it takes to keep you from choosing any of Journey's Greatest Hits on your next visit to the karaoke bar - even if that means singing every last Journey hit themselves... Journey sucks!
Slipknot Sucks

Slipknot Sucks

2019-10-2448:072

The only reason they named this band Slipknot is because "Hot Topic" was already trademarked. Look, all we're saying is if you made music and it was this bad then you'd probably want to hide behind a mask, too. Does it seriously take nine people to suck this hard? How many shows did they do with eight members before deciding it just didn't suck enough and they had to throw in one more? They could have gone all the way to ten, except this is mall metal for people who lose fingers in firework accidents and can't count that high.
The Shins Suck

The Shins Suck

2019-10-1037:29

Ah, yes, the band that changed the lives of everyone who saw the worst movie of The 2000's, which also happened to be one of the most widely viewed movies of the decade due to the fact that everyone between the ages of 18 and 45 was evidently a total moron in The 2000s. Why should anyone care now? Well, how exactly do you think we got in this mess? This is how. The Shins don't just suck. They sucked so hard and made so much money doing it that every indie band fell all over themselves to follow in their footsteps, buy glockenspiels and get every TV/movie/commercial sync deal they could. This is the way a genre ends. Not with a bang but with a whimper.
Never have fans. Trust us, you'll regret it. For some reason, there are a lot of people who see a podcast about their terrible taste in music as an invitation to contact the hosts and, y'know, say things... Yeah, it's pretty inexcusable behavior but, since we don't seem to be able to put a stop to it, we may as well share some of the best/worst specimens. Here's the first YFBS mini-episode! Mark and Tyler give their no-holds-barred, completely uncensored responses to fan mail. (And, let's be clear, every e-mail we get is fan mail, especially the rage-fueled, typo'd-at-3am-half-drunk-in-your-underwear emails. You're a fan. We don't like it either but you're a fan. Deal with it.) Enjoy!
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Comments (178)

Jason

this show sucks. not in a. good way.

Jul 2nd
Reply

He Who Hews

You know what I'd love to see from these guys? A list of bands they love and will never do an episode about.

May 12th
Reply

Zengie

Do Lou Reed and/or The Velvet Underground.

May 2nd
Reply

Preston Heath

do Daniel Johnston, ya cowards

Apr 7th
Reply

Charlie Cook

Do people actually buy this merch? Mark is just a yes man to Tyler's elitism. Make good suggestions every once in awhile of what you should be listening to instead but I already am so fuck it. No inspiring or intrigue to be gathered from these mouth breathers. Go find something educational to listen to please.

Apr 5th
Reply (1)

Drew Anderson

seems like some pretty low hanging fruit

Apr 1st
Reply

Zengie

Mastodon barely sucks.

Mar 7th
Reply

Zengie

Do Eminem you sorry unclefuckers.

Feb 14th
Reply

Zengie

Thanks for mentioning Suicide. Their first album is smashing!

Feb 14th
Reply

Zengie

Do ABBA. Or try to do Faith No More.

Feb 14th
Reply

Metal GeeZer Media

This is Hilarious..! Not for the easily offended.! If you take these 2 serious and you are seriously offended by this podcast.. You need to Stop listen to Music all together..

Feb 12th
Reply

Hamed Hosseini

Elon Musk released his first track

Feb 3rd
Reply

Brando

Why does The Cure suck?

Jan 25th
Reply (1)

stephen murray

I did spend a Christmas in the USA and I was disorientated (it disoriented if you prefer) by how different USA Christmas music is from the stuff in Ireland and the UK. I need to check it the previous episodes before too long.

Dec 15th
Reply

stephen murray

boys, boys, boys... you don't really know Christmas songs until you hear Frank Kelly's 12 Days of Christmas....

Dec 15th
Reply

Dothrak Qanno

Comment section full of whiney little assholes. Anyone who wants opinions on music that aren't gonna kowtow to shitty, mundane standards that people have for art are gonna like this podcast. Just take the cork out of your ass and accept that the premise is facetious in the first place, like a comedy central roast. These guys have badmouthed the absolute living shit out of my favorite bands Radiohead, NIN, the Smiths and others and I've just laughed along with them. I also guarantee that they're better people than most people complaining about them; class conscious and gender positive all around, always pointing out when a band is misogynistic or have done skeevy marketing tactics. Don't judge them based on their tone and actually listen to what they have to say, you might learn a thing or two

Dec 13th
Reply (1)

Liam Keele

do David Allen Coe sucks please...please do it.

Dec 11th
Reply (3)

Billy Bones

gotta be the worst kind of doucchebags.

Nov 25th
Reply (1)

Jonas Grumbie

I can't believe they didn't mention how disgusting and incestuous the song "cousin Dupree' is.

Nov 14th
Reply (1)

Jonas Grumbie

this is the best episode.

Nov 13th
Reply (3)
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