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Your Favorite Band Sucks
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Your Favorite Band Sucks

Author: Mark Mosley & Tyler Mahan Coe

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Congratulations, you've found the bravest podcast on the Internet! Now, let’s review the facts: there’s no such thing as good art and it’s a red flag for any adult to have a favorite band. Naturally, most of you will disagree with that statement. That's fine. If it helps, pretend the hosts are only playing a drinking game. Some algorithm randomly assigns a band to deconstruct and that's all Mark and Tyler are doing in every episode. Start with an easy one, some band everyone already knows is trash, like The Beatles or The Clash. Laugh along, “Hahaha! So funny... Yes...” With time, though, the realization is inevitable: this is a true crime podcast. Culture is a pyramid scheme and your favorite band is just the soundtrack to a fake vintage t-shirt. (Your favorite t-shirt also sucks, by the way. This podcast sells better shirts at shop.yfbspod.com because we care.) In the end, it all comes down to one question: can you find the inner strength it takes to press play and learn why Your Favorite Band Sucks?

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65 Episodes
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Nickelback Sucks

Nickelback Sucks

2020-04-0149:27

In these trying times, it's important to focus on things that bring us together rather than tear us apart. We need to unite against a common enemy and that enemy is... Nickelback. At what point do we stop giving our neighbors in The Great White North benefit of the doubt? It can't be a coincidence that all of the worst music comes from Canada, can it? Rush, Celine Dion, Leonard Cohen. It's like, what are you people doing up there? You know you're not supposed to eat the yellow snow, right? Anyway, once we opened up our Apple Podcast reviews to requests, one band kept popping up again and again. We figured everyone could use a win right now, so... You wanted it, you got: Nickelback Sucks! P.S. Since we love you so much, we went ahead and filmed the recording session for this one. Find us on YouTube if you want to watch us make the show!
Arcade Fire Sucks

Arcade Fire Sucks

2020-03-1949:461

Is this a band or a sect of Mormonism that worships The Internet? You do kind of want to admire these kids for trying to wage war against music journalists but they should pick on someone their own size next time if they wanna win. Maybe a class of fifth-graders? Also, how is this band NOT from Portland, Oregon? The official soundtrack of taking a book with you to the bar so everyone knows you plan on being smart someday: Arcade Fire sucks!
Mastodon Sucks

Mastodon Sucks

2020-03-0550:523

Remember when everyone asked the left half of a human evolution chart to create the Biff's Notes version of a Moby Dick audiobook? Yeah, neither do we. Mastodon sucks.
Coheed and Cambria Sucks

Coheed and Cambria Sucks

2020-02-2043:211

Oh, hey, it's everyone's favorite soundtrack to a comic book series! Which, turns out, is nobody's favorite soundtrack to a comic book series because that isn't a thing anyone wants and this entire idea is terrible. Look, we're all about escapist fiction. Your life is trash. We get it. But when it reaches the point of slaughtering babies in outer space, you've maybe escaped a little bit too far. Grab a seat and strap in as Mark and Tyler take you to the moon and back to learn how much Coheed and Cambria sucks.
You wanted it, you got it! Well, okay, maybe you didn't want it but there have certainly been enough idiots who said "Oh YeaH? WHat aRE SoMe oF UR guYs FaVRitE BaNDz?" to justify a Top 10 Albums of the Decade Mini-Episode. Here that is.
The Clash Sucks

The Clash Sucks

2020-02-0601:00:012

OK Boomer Punks, make sure your bifocals are clean because today's episode takes a clear-eyed look at probably the most influential ska band of all time, The Clash. Songwriting, singing, musicianship, ethics - apparently none of these were requirements for becoming legends back in the '70s, as long as everyone thought one of your album covers was cool. It's true, you were lied to and that's not right or fair but we're here to fix it. Please consult a doctor before listening if you take blood pressure meds.
It's the least wonderful time of the year! Those of you who've been with us from the beginning know we aren't about to let a holiday season come and go without another attempt to end the single worst genre: Christmas music. It all sucks... It's all bad... But we have the antidote! Just to make sure it's been attacked from every possible angle, Your Favorite Band Sucks comes back once a year for another episode about how much Christmas Music sucks. This year, Mark and Tyler raise their glasses (and middle fingers) to "12 Days of Christmas," Justin Bieber, Charles DICKens, caroling and more. Horny Christmas songs? You bet. Country Christmas songs? They're here. Metal Christmas songs? Hell yes. You must be thinking, "Dang! This sounds like the best thing to ever happen for everyone who hates Christmas music!" You're right, it is. And anyone who doesn't like it can get kicked straight in the jingle bells for all we care.
Depeche Mode Sucks

Depeche Mode Sucks

2019-11-2147:591

Ever ask yourself why Depeche Mode is always the favorite band of people who've ruined your whole life? Wonder no more, friends and neighbors! A day of healing is upon us! The thing is: there's a fundamental problem with every Depeche Mode song. Today, Mark & Tyler strap in to gently explain what's going on here. A lot of people are gonna learn a lot about themselves in this episode but, don't worry, you won't need a safe word. Repeat after us: Depeche Mode sucks... Depeche Mode sucks... Depeche Mode sucks...
Journey Sucks

Journey Sucks

2019-11-0701:02:50

Long before the San Francisco Bay Area decided to destroy Western civilization using Silicon Valley's latest social media apps, they tried destroying us with insipid arena rock. Fair's fair, the band Journey has the best singer of probably anyone that's been featured on our show so far (and a lot of their album covers were pretty sick) but not even the golden throat of Steve Perry can keep this chrome-plated spaceship on course. From "Wheel in the Sky" to "Faithfully," "Don't Stop Believin'" that Mark and Tyler are prepared to do whatever it takes to keep you from choosing any of Journey's Greatest Hits on your next visit to the karaoke bar - even if that means singing every last Journey hit themselves... Journey sucks!
Slipknot Sucks

Slipknot Sucks

2019-10-2448:072

The only reason they named this band Slipknot is because "Hot Topic" was already trademarked. Look, all we're saying is if you made music and it was this bad then you'd probably want to hide behind a mask, too. Does it seriously take nine people to suck this hard? How many shows did they do with eight members before deciding it just didn't suck enough and they had to throw in one more? They could have gone all the way to ten, except this is mall metal for people who lose fingers in firework accidents and can't count that high.
The Shins Suck

The Shins Suck

2019-10-1037:29

Ah, yes, the band that changed the lives of everyone who saw the worst movie of The 2000's, which also happened to be one of the most widely viewed movies of the decade due to the fact that everyone between the ages of 18 and 45 was evidently a total moron in The 2000s. Why should anyone care now? Well, how exactly do you think we got in this mess? This is how. The Shins don't just suck. They sucked so hard and made so much money doing it that every indie band fell all over themselves to follow in their footsteps, buy glockenspiels and get every TV/movie/commercial sync deal they could. This is the way a genre ends. Not with a bang but with a whimper.
Never have fans. Trust us, you'll regret it. For some reason, there are a lot of people who see a podcast about their terrible taste in music as an invitation to contact the hosts and, y'know, say things... Yeah, it's pretty inexcusable behavior but, since we don't seem to be able to put a stop to it, we may as well share some of the best/worst specimens. Here's the first YFBS mini-episode! Mark and Tyler give their no-holds-barred, completely uncensored responses to fan mail. (And, let's be clear, every e-mail we get is fan mail, especially the rage-fueled, typo'd-at-3am-half-drunk-in-your-underwear emails. You're a fan. We don't like it either but you're a fan. Deal with it.) Enjoy!
Gorillaz Suck

Gorillaz Suck

2019-09-2631:581

Clint Eastwood should sue these clowns. Anyone remember when cartoons were for kids and nobody on the planet would dream of confusing the soundtrack with, you know, music? Gorillaz make albums for adults who still eat bowls of cereal for breakfast. The favorite band of Eloi everywhere. It's offensive that anyone thinks we're supposed to take this seriously. Gorillaz suck.
Oasis Sucks

Oasis Sucks

2019-09-1247:071

Alright, here's your proof. Oasis is hard evidence that talent and work ethic have nothing to do with "making it" in music. If millions of people bought this, they'd buy anything. Liam Gallagher is maybe the worst singer that's been discussed on our show so far. Noel Gallagher has probably been sued for plagiarism more times than Madonna. It's a miracle he's never tried to pass off "Mary Had a Little Lamb" as an original composition. BONUS: every single jerkoff cover of "Wonderwall" that you've ever had to hear is this band's fault. But, hey, we'll admit the Gallaghers seem like very nice guys!
You'd think a band with this many songs about drugs could be more than a one-hit wonder but that's just how much Queens of the Stone Age sucks. Someone should invent time travel just so we can send these guys back to prehistory for more guitar riffs. Queens fans think it's impossible to dislike this band. Press play. We'll show you how it's done.
The Strokes Suck

The Strokes Suck

2019-08-1555:572

From a music business standpoint, here's a textbook example of what not to do. Those of you who remember how this all went down (and, boy, did it go down), you know why this hilarious history lesson is necessary, even though The Strokes never actually did a single thing that mattered, one single thing to deliver on the hype fabricated around them. Just like they requested, The Strokes are well on their way to ultimately being forgotten. Dig out your fave vintage t-shirt that you bought on eBay and wear it one more time while we take this little trip down memory lane...
Phil Collins Sucks

Phil Collins Sucks

2019-08-0147:25

Phil Collins sucks so much that it almost feels mean to make fun of him. But we are mean, so who cares? We'll admit that it's honestly pretty impressive how much of a douchebag this guy is but that's not enough for us to excuse the sheer amount of terrible music he's created. If the only song he ever made was "In the Air Tonight," then he'd probably still deserve an episode because that's among the actual worst songs that has ever been made by anyone. And that's only one Phil Collins song. It's terrifying to consider how many more episodes of this podcast we could make about him but that's only to be expected when Ringo Starr is the only drummer in history who is more overrated than Phil.
Rush Sucks

Rush Sucks

2019-07-1858:181

This is the best Canada can do, huh? You know what? Have this one back. No, no. We’re fine. Honestly. Yes, you seem very polite but you're clearly trying to convince us that Rush is something other than a Trojan horse to brainwash Americans into acting like even bigger jerks than normal. Get someone smarter than an 8th grader to write the lyrics next time, thanks. The only thing we're still wondering is why anyone thinks any member of this band is great at their instrument.
Madonna Sucks: Part Two

Madonna Sucks: Part Two

2019-07-0440:121

Last episode, we went in on Madonna’s lack of originality and talent. Today, we try to understand the why of it all. To what end, all this thievery and stirring up of controversy? Maybe the answer lies somewhere deep inside “Like a Virgin.” Of course, her illustrious acting career cannot be overlooked. There's the groundbreaking Ray of Light album. And there's always, always, some recent example of Madonna doing something even dumber than ever before, such as releasing new music in the year 2019. Madame X needs to X-cuse herself from the spotlight and retire.
Madonna Sucks

Madonna Sucks

2019-06-2034:39

She can’t sing. She can’t dance. She can’t act. She has no personality of her own. There’s a 90% chance anything anyone thinks she deserves credit for is just something they don’t know was done by someone else, first and better. Can’t figure out what so many people see in Madonna? Trust us, you’re missing nothing. Here's what it takes to be a Madonna fan: you had to be there and you had to have no awareness that Madonna is the bluntest object in the cutting edge drawer.  Listen and learn.
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Comments (174)

Charlie Cook

Do people actually buy this merch? Mark is just a yes man to Tyler's elitism. Make good suggestions every once in awhile of what you should be listening to instead but I already am so fuck it. No inspiring or intrigue to be gathered from these mouth breathers. Go find something educational to listen to please.

Apr 5th
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Drew Anderson

seems like some pretty low hanging fruit

Apr 1st
Reply

Zengie

Mastodon barely sucks.

Mar 7th
Reply

Zengie

Do Eminem you sorry unclefuckers.

Feb 14th
Reply

Zengie

Thanks for mentioning Suicide. Their first album is smashing!

Feb 14th
Reply

Zengie

Do ABBA. Or try to do Faith No More.

Feb 14th
Reply

Joseph Jag Guinter

How can you sit there and critique music when your not a musician? It's easy to sit behind a screen and mic and say this band sucks or that band sucks. Fuck off fags what is a good band about!

Feb 12th
Reply (1)

Metal GeeZer Media

This is Hilarious..! Not for the easily offended.! If you take these 2 serious and you are seriously offended by this podcast.. You need to Stop listen to Music all together..

Feb 12th
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Hamed Hosseini

Elon Musk released his first track

Feb 3rd
Reply

Brando

Why does The Cure suck?

Jan 25th
Reply (1)

stephen murray

I did spend a Christmas in the USA and I was disorientated (it disoriented if you prefer) by how different USA Christmas music is from the stuff in Ireland and the UK. I need to check it the previous episodes before too long.

Dec 15th
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stephen murray

boys, boys, boys... you don't really know Christmas songs until you hear Frank Kelly's 12 Days of Christmas....

Dec 15th
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Dothrak Qanno

Comment section full of whiney little assholes. Anyone who wants opinions on music that aren't gonna kowtow to shitty, mundane standards that people have for art are gonna like this podcast. Just take the cork out of your ass and accept that the premise is facetious in the first place, like a comedy central roast. These guys have badmouthed the absolute living shit out of my favorite bands Radiohead, NIN, the Smiths and others and I've just laughed along with them. I also guarantee that they're better people than most people complaining about them; class conscious and gender positive all around, always pointing out when a band is misogynistic or have done skeevy marketing tactics. Don't judge them based on their tone and actually listen to what they have to say, you might learn a thing or two

Dec 13th
Reply (1)

Liam Keele

do David Allen Coe sucks please...please do it.

Dec 11th
Reply (3)

Ryan Mcnally

gotta be the worst kind of doucchebags.

Nov 25th
Reply (1)

Jonas Grumbie

I can't believe they didn't mention how disgusting and incestuous the song "cousin Dupree' is.

Nov 14th
Reply (1)

Jonas Grumbie

this is the best episode.

Nov 13th
Reply (3)

Drew Anderson

the comments on kyuss make it seem like these guys actually know very little about rock culture. I dunno, I usually agree with them, but to consider Kyuss a footnote or something in rock history is hilariously wrong in my mind.

Nov 6th
Reply (3)

Liam Keele

how about David Allen Coe sucks?????

Oct 28th
Reply (1)

stephen murray

I broke my rib earlier in the week. I thought listening to this would cheer me up. it did but the laughter has sent me into excruciating pain. I wonder if Slipknot would approve.

Oct 24th
Reply
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