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Your Kick Ass Life Podcast

Author: Andrea Owen

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Join Andrea Owen, life coach and author, as she serves up self help in a easy-to-digest way that is also practical and implementable. Andrea brings you guests as well as solo episodes on topics such as perfectionism, the inner-critic, courage, and more.
301 Episodes
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This week I welcome Chase Chewning to the YKAL podcast. Chase is the creator of the platform Ever Forward and host of the podcast Ever Forward Radio. I’ve been on his podcast twice and y’all, he is an amazing host who is doing phenomenal things in the wellness industry (and wait until you hear his radio voice. Just wait). Today we take on big topics such as mental health, the revolution in masculinity and moving ever forward no matter the circumstance.  Chase shares openly with me the physical, emotional, and spiritual trauma he experienced following a serious hip injury, which led to being medically discharged from the military and having to learn to walk again. And like many of the conversations I have with my guests, ours shifted to topics I did not expect but am so glad they did.  We discussed the stories men (and women) sometimes make up about what it means to be a man (as in hiding one’s emotions) and how a revolution in masculinity is flipping those stories on their heads. As Chase so eloquently stated, “Every area of your life will be significantly better once you get honest, look inside, and allow yourself to feel.” Yes,  we got a bit deep, philosophical, and real in this episode. But as you’ll hear at the top of the show, it’s important to be the person you were meant to be. This episode is a perfect example of Chase and I, doing just that.  In this episode you’ll hear: The physical, emotional, and spiritual trauma Chase experienced following medical discharge from the military due to a hip injury and having to learn to walk again (11:00) Internal and external healing: who and what was most helpful to Chase (emotionally and physically) during his journey (19:00) Chase on the revolution in masculinity and the importance of women being present with a man while he shares his deepest and darkest fears (27:00) Coming to our own conclusions about religion and spirituality (35:00) Chase’s mantra, Ever Forward: what it means and why it matters so much to him (47:09) http://yourkickasslife.com/302  
I have such a great episode for you this week with my guest Sonya Renee Taylor. Sonya is an author, poet, spoken word artist, speaker, humanitarian, social justice activist, educator, and founder of The Body is Not An Apology. Today, we are talking all about radical self-love, body empowerment and how both can be a foundational tool for global transformation.  When it comes to self-love, especially in the personal development space, it can be made to look easy, light, and fluffy. But as you’ll hear in this episode, Sonya believes, “Nothing grows without discomfort.” 100%, yes!  Radical self-love requires us to challenge our deeply held beliefs which are keeping us locked in systems of status quo and latency. True radical self-love can help you see the world in a different way and help you shift it too.  We also talk about body shaming, meta-shame and even a unique and affirming way to spread body empowerment among friends; which can move mountains y’all! I know I say this often, but I truly am excited to share with you my conversation with Sonya Renee Taylor. In this episode you’ll hear: Sonya’s journey and the path that led her to be recognized as a change agent (6:28) How radical self-love and body empowerment are foundational tools for social justice and global transformation (9:16) Sonya’s definition of radical self-love and why we need it (11:27) Body shaming, what it is, who does it and some ways to overcome it; plus one unique and affirming way to spread body empowerment among friends (17:00) The body positivity movement: where it started, why Sonya thinks it’s a “nice white lady,” and ways in which it can be harmful (26:00: Bad Picture Monday - what it is and how to find it on Instagram (32:00) http://yourkickasslife.com/301  
Episode 300: Dear Fear

Episode 300: Dear Fear

2019-09-2500:36:09

As you may have heard (since I’ve been talking about it almost non-stop here), I’m still writing my book proposal for my third book. Book proposals are a slightly complicated, gigantic document that contains the summary of your book, who the book is for, and what magic fairies you’re going to conjure to help you sell the book.  It contains other things too, but my point is, the way I describe writing book proposals is it’s like that school project you have that is enormously time-consuming, super boring, a metric shit-ton of work, and 99% of your grade is riding on it. Oh, and the class it’s for is the Big Enchilada Important Class. No big deal.  As I’ve also mentioned before, this book will be slightly different than my first two. Still self-helpy, but it will have an edge. More opinionated. More in tune with what’s going on culturally and politically.  And all of this is scary for me, as this entire year has been about healing, moving through all sorts of old shit, and leveling up.  One of the things I’ve done to help myself is writing a letter to fear. Elizabeth Gilbert talks about this and I decided if it’s good enough for Liz, it’s good enough for me!  In this week’s episode you’ll hear a few other things I’ve done to move through this time in my professional (and personal) life, and here is my letter to fear… Dear Fear,  I’m not sure why I’m addressing you as “dear”, as you’re hardly dear to me in the least.  Let me start with some compassion since you don’t necessarily deserve to be yelled at, berated, or chastised. So, I get it. I get why you’re doing what you’re doing. You know, or at least are very certain, that if I write a BIG book, (and by “BIG”, I mean with lots of opinions, and “with lots of opinions” I mean opinions that millions of women and men also have the same opinions. Oh, the irony) there is a HUGE risk involved.  What if people disagree and write mean things about me on the internet? What if I don’t know enough about the topics and I’m criticized for that?  But, I think the thing that scares you the most, is not bad reviews or haters...but the success of this book. With HTSFLS doing so well, this book has big shoes to fill. And by big shoes, I mean 100,000 copies in 16 months. A big book advance to PROVE how worthy my creativity is. Numbers have weight and there are so many numbers to contend with. To you, Fear, big numbers equal everything good and right in my life.  There are so many what if’s and OMG’s and expectations. I understand your job is to know these backward and forward. To yell “WATCH OUT” at every turn, every second, and I believe your goal is to convince me to write a book that is so incredibly vanilla that it will be agreeable to all, or if you really had your wish, I just wouldn’t write another book at all. We’d just leave the party of authorhood with HTSFLS, blowing kisses to everyone and call it a day.  I understand that you are convinced this risk is equivalent to my possible death-- playing Russian Roulette with the general public. That any failure of this book will not only result in public humiliation but will be my death. Death from starvation, or being stoned to death by my haters, or death by massive shame. Or maybe all three.  Trust me, I feel all of this in my marrow. Every day as I sat down to write the proposal for this book I hear you and feel you. I wring my hands and I worry. I make the anguished emoji face. I get GI issues.  So, we’re going to make a deal. You and me, fear. But, I need to tell you first that while I get you and see your job and even respect and admire your tenacity for doing said job, I have got this.  If you remember, I used to sit in my room for hours writing stories from the age of 9. This continued well into my teens and then for a decade or so I stopped writing because I lost myself, (but that’s a letter for another day), but when I picked up writing again it poured out of me. And for years this happened and then I wrote my first book. I actually did it, fear, do you remember? You were there so much during that time. We wrestled, you pushed, I pushed back and in the end, I did it. And we didn’t die-- in fact, it ended up being fantastic, so fantastic I did it again. And like the good worker you are-- always diligently showing up for your shift, on time, with your uniform clean and pressed, you came back that time and we made it through yet again. And that book was fantastic too. Even more so to me because I understood so much more about the creative process, the publishing journey, about myself, and about you.  I have got this because so many times I write things that I don’t remember. God is writing through me, she knows what needs to be said, and she whispers it to me. And when you’re yelling, it makes it hard for her to be heard. Ya, ya, I know you’re doing your job and I’ll get to our deal in a minute, but I need you to understand just how much I have got this.  This is important. This book wants and needs to be written. There are women out there of all ages who need this clarity, stories, advice, and my sense of humor to reach the next level in their life. They have their own fear that’s putting the breaks on and listen, Fear, we can have none of that. These women are trying to do incredible things, live better lives, be influences on other women. And they can’t do that if you’re in the way and yelling so loud.  So, back to our deal. I’m not banishing you or burning you at the stake. You can stay, but if you stay, we have to enlist some boundaries. First and foremost, I am in charge. The boss. The big kahuna. If it’s any consolation, seriously, remember this is our third time at this rodeo. I am fully equipped to be in the driver's seat.  Second, since you have permission to come along, there needs to be rules around that. No blabbering, no worst-case-scenario, no comparison to my previous writing or to other authors. In other words, I need you to maybe AT MOST whisper your worries when absolutely necessary. I promise I’ll acknowledge you.  You can’t be in charge fear, that’s the bottom line. I call all the shots and my voice is the loudest, the most important, and the most loving. It has to be. We may need to have future meetings once in a while and that’s fine if you need to give me all the warnings. I’ll hear you out. But, that’s it.  Deal? Deal.  Oh, and thanks for keeping me safe all those other times, you know when I legitimately could have died. You’re the best for that.  http://yourkickasslife.com/300  
Charlie Gilkey is back on the YKAL podcast this week, this time to talk about productivity with a twist. So many listeners offered such great feedback when he joined me on the podcast the first time around, that I knew I had to bring him back. For those of you new to Charlie, he is the founder of Productive Flourishing and the author of the new book, Start Finishing: How to Go From Idea to Done. Charlie helps people finish the stuff that matters. I mean, come on, we all could use a little bit of that in our lives, am I right?  In this latest book, Charlie walks readers through some different perspectives around getting shit done, which we talk about in this episode. We touch on topics such as perfectionism and how it’s holding you back from reaching your goals, what to do when the naysayers or derailers don’t believe in your projects, and how to get motivated for a task you are dreading. Plus we talk understanding that you have moments of choice and how changing the way you talk to yourself (and about yourself) can change your life. This is a no-holds-barred conversation on productivity because quite honestly, it’s time to start finishing.  In this episode you’ll hear: Why Start Finishing is different from other books on productivity (7:06) What to do when others don’t believe in your projects or ideas (20:00) How to get motivated to do the work you are dreading and what “confetti time” is (30:00) Fixing the load you are carrying so you can fix the overwhelm (35:04) Understanding you have moments of choice, changing your language and why it matters (39:00) http://yourkickasslife.com/299  
We like the idea of hiring a life coach, the idea of listening to all the podcasts, the idea of reading all the books and then, many times we don’t actually do the personal development work. Yes, doing this kind of what I call “passive learning” does matter. You are getting it in between your ears (better than your inner-critic!). But, there does come a time when action needs to happen. This week I have another YKAL Coaching episode for you. And Marisa, whom I coach in this episode, is a perfect example of someone doing the work.  Let’s get into this week’s coaching session. Meet Marisa, a new entrepreneur and recruiting agency employee from North Carolina. She came to me because she wanted to learn how to slow down, which we talk about in this episode. But like many coaching sessions, our conversation took a turn. We turned to the topic of values, including the difference between perfectionism and striving for excellence, as well as, Marisa’s values around integrity and patience. And then the conversation zig-zagged to the topic of triggers around feedback and how her mother, starting from a young age, has been the source of that trigger. This is big stuff, y’all and I am so honored that Marisa opened up and was vulnerable in this way.  In this episode you’ll hear: Being okay with slowing down and getting into the mindset that when you are building a business, it’s okay to pause (6:10) Wanting a better perspective and clarity around why she launched her business and keeping the entrepreneur fire lit (7:58) Exploring Marisa’s value around patience and the realization that she isn’t giving herself the same love she gives others in that arena (10:00) There’s a difference between perfectionism and striving for excellence (12:45) Self-fulfillment and living a life that honors her true, ‘why’. (19:00) How to have a hard and honest conversation with a loved one, and how the health of personal relationships is bigger than we realize (24:00) A super kick-ass update from Marisa and how she’s been doing the work (46:30) http://yourkickasslife.com/298  
This week’s guest is going to knock your socks off, y’all. Kara Loewentheil is Master Certified Coach who has pivoted her law career into a life coaching business, using her background in feminism theory to help women get the patriarchy out of their brains.  Kara is also the host of the podcast, Unf*ck Your Brain and simply a stunning individual.  In today’s episode we talk all about the social messaging we receive as women and how this messaging plays into our own self-critical thoughts. Kara also talks about the work she does with women to undo the process and help them to think about themselves the way they want to. I’ve been looking forward to introducing you to Kara and I hope you enjoy our conversation.  In this episode you’ll hear: The reason women’s inner critic or not feeling good is a direct result of the patriarchy (6:00) You can’t suddenly be nicer to yourself (aka inner critic work) (10:30) How Kara addresses thought work and those who have experienced trauma and why thought work is so personal (14:56) “Believing harder” when it comes to self-confidence and overcoming insecurity (19:50) There’s a disconnect between women taking action to get the things they really want and what is keeping them stuck (25:10) Beauty standards, diet culture and Kara’s commentary about it all (31:19) http://yourkickasslife.com/297  
I am delighted for this week’s episode; for two reasons. First, we are back with an episode of Conversations About Shit That Matters with Unqualified People. And second, the unqualified person joining me is none other than my bestie, Amy E. Smith. If this your first time hearing her, I know you will love her. And if this isn’t the first time hearing Amy, well, welcome back!  This week, we’re talking all about money.  Everyone’s experience is different when it comes to money. Our stories vary, our circumstances might be different, but so many of us struggle in the same areas when it comes to money and our emotions. Amy has been on her own money journey for some time now and she even influenced me, gave me pause and helped me realize that I had a lot of money issues I needed to work on too. In this conversation, we share some of our own experiences with money, as well as some tips and tools with doing the work around money. We hope our conversation is hugely eye-opening and helpful. Let’s get on with it!  In this episode you’ll hear: Why we think women have a unique perspective around money hang-ups (6:06) Unpacking our money stories and our relationships with it (8:01) Doing the work and shifting our perspective about money (18:00) Comparing money and income to others and trying to make others comfortable with your circumstances, plus some other money hangups we are still working on today (35:00) We also share some of our most elaborate money dreams (45:00) http://yourkickasslife.com/296  
Raise your hand if you said yes to something you really didn’t want to do. And in doing so, you are saying no to something you actually WANT to do. It’s another exciting day here over YKAL headquarters, because it’s another coaching session episode. 🎉I really enjoy sharing these episodes and I hope you enjoy them too! This week I speak with Colleen, a professional dog walker, who wants to work through saying ‘No’ and putting herself first. I’m sure you’ll be able to relate to what Colleen is struggling with.  Sometimes in your life you do have sacrifice in order to survive, which was Colleen’s case. But once you make it, it’s time to enjoy and make sure you are putting yourself first.  When you are learning to say ‘No’, realize you are unlearning decades of conditioning. And this can be hard y’all. But at the end of the day, your life, your health matters. So, the hard work matters too.  And that’s what Colleen and I dig into this YKAL coaching session.  In this episode you’ll hear: Colleen’s struggle with tremendous guilt when saying ‘No’ to her customers (4:58) Anytime we are saying ‘No’ to something, we are saying ‘Yes’ to something else (7:46) Colleen’s lists of core beliefs when it comes to saying ‘No’ and then challenging them (10:58) What core beliefs are and where they stem from (17:46) Negativity bias, shifting your focus and finding positive examples of people who set boundaries (19:42) A kick-ass update from Colleen following our coaching session (46:19) http://yourkickasslife.com/295  
To finish up the summer archived episodes run, I bring to you my conversation with Kate Courageous. This episode originally aired in May of last year - but the content is very much still applicable today! If you already heard it, it is worth listening to again. Kate is a dear friend of mine, as well, and I am thrilled that I can share this episode with you again, as it includes her thoughts on fear, courage, and the inner-critic.   Kate is also the author of The Courage Habit: How to Accept Your Fears, Release the Past, and Live Your Courageous Life.  I am so happy her book is available! Today, we cover the brain science behind courage habits, and identifying and then dealing with habits that are holding you back.   In this episode you’ll hear: Four fear patterns that get people stuck  Some ways we try to deal with fear  The more you go into the things you fear, the wider your comfort zone becomes  Reaching out and creating a community, courage-based values, and being vulnerable  Fear is a wound and needs understanding and how to strike a balance with fear  http://yourkickasslife.com/294  
We are back this week with another archived episode that is from a long time ago. In it, my friend and associate Amy Ahlers, author of, Big Fat Lies Women Tell Themselves and Reform Your Inner Mean Girl, talks about all things inner mean girl (aka inner critic)!  Since the original airing of this episode, I have really gotten to know Amy. She has so much experience and tenure in the personal development industry, this woman knows her stuff, so I am happy to re-share this episode with you.  We all love formulas and processes, right? Well, Amy has come up with a 3-step process for transforming your inner mean girl, which she talks about in the episode.  In this episode, you’ll also hear: What exactly is inner-wisdom and what to do if we don’t know where to start when it comes to listening to it.  I ask Amy what is the most common big fat lie women tell themselves. (The answer doesn’t surprise me at all!)  Amy tells us what her biggest trigger is and what are the steps she actually takes to manage her own inner mean girl. I ask Amy about a blog post she wrote, “Is Your Need to Belong Sabotaging You?” and what do we do when we find ourselves changing who we are just to fit in and belong I love that Amy and I have so much of a similar philosophy about the inner-critic and I hope this episode is helpful to you!  http://yourkickasslife.com/293  
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Comments (5)

Rebelchick

Great podcast

Apr 28th
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Lecturer Rempel Maan

please laugh less. You laugh like a demon. It's irritating.

Mar 31st
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Tim BryanPC

the podcast on white supremacy and patriarchy is really out of character with what I believe this podcast was supposed to be. If I wanted to hear liberalism I watch TV if I want to hear independent thought and individualism I listen to podcast. unsubscribing thank you very much

Sep 21st
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Sylvia Sargeant

congratulations!

Apr 19th
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Luis Coppin, Jr.

Awesome podcast. Thanks you. I just signed up.

Feb 10th
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