Your Kids Don’t Suck: Cultivating Closeness with your Kids through Non-Coercive, Conscious Parenting

Episode re-release: In this episode, we dive into a Q&A format, addressing two thought-provoking questions from our listeners.Question one comes from a non-parent who comes to terms with the ways in which their own parents hurt them. Many of us grapple with the realization that our parents may have unintentionally or intentionally hurt us in the past, but the decision to confront them as an adult is a complex one. We share our insights on whether it's the right time for one listener to tackle this emotionally charged issue. Drawing from our experience as therapists, we discuss the potential benefits and risks of such a conversation.Question two, we discuss another listener’s question around effective ways to apologize and reconnect with your child after moments of rupture where we feel we’ve acted out of alignment with our values. We provide practical tips for repairing the parent-child relationship and explore what a sincere, relationship-focused, and deeply meaningful apology looks and sounds like. Stay tuned for more Q&A episodes in Season 4, and write us your questions at yourkidsdontsuck@gmail.comKey Topics:Confronting parents about past harm: timing, risks, and potential benefitsNavigating the complexity of deciding whether or not to bring up a painful history with your parentsTherapist insights on healing past wounds without re-traumatizing yourselfRepairing connection with your child after ruptureWhat a meaningful, values-aligned apology to your child sounds like in practicePractical strategies for rebuilding trust and modeling accountability between parent and childSupport YKDS https://buymeacoffee.com/yourkidsdontsuckBook a mentor session with Rythea https://calendly.com/rytheaConnect with Cara https://www.caratedstonetherapy.com/We (Rythea and Cara) are white, cis-gender, straight, middle-class women living with financial and societal privilege. Our perspectives are limited. We are committed to featuring guests from diverse lived experiences to reflect the realities of a broader parenting community. 25% of proceeds from this podcast go to creators of color who have shaped our work.Rate & Review: Your feedback helps us reach more families who are parenting with presence, resistance, and love. Let us know what this episode stirred in you.

Episode re-release: In this episode of Your Kids Don't Suck, hosts Rythea Lee and Cara Tedstone dive deep into the world of non-coercive parenting within the framework of coparenting relationships. Joined by Rythea's partner Will and Cara's husband Sanjay, the conversation unfolds into a heartfelt exploration of parenting dynamics and philosophies.Sanjay and Will offer unique perspectives on parenting, bringing diverse backgrounds and value systems to the table. Together, they share their personal journeys into the realm of non-coercive parenting, shedding light on the challenges and triumphs encountered along the way. Listeners gain insight into the reasons behind Will and Sanjay's embrace of non-coercive parenting as a guiding philosophy. Drawing from their own experiences and upbringing, they reflect on how traditional parenting models shaped their worldview and the pivotal moments that led them to explore alternative approaches. You'll hear about the nuances of non-coercive parenting, with Will and Sanjay candidly discussing the toughest aspects of adopting this mindset.From confronting societal norms to reconciling with their own upbringing, they offer a raw and honest portrayal of the obstacles faced on their journey. Tune in to this heartfelt and illuminating episode of YKDS to discover what it's like for non-mothers to parent in a way that challenges convention and nurtures connection!Key Topics:What non-coercive parenting looks like within co-parenting relationshipsHow traditional parenting models shape current parenting choicesThe pivotal moments that led Will and Sanjay to embrace non-coercive parentingChallenges of practicing non-coercive parenting in a society built on controlHonest reflections on reconciling past experiences with new parenting philosophiesBuilding connection and collaboration in parenting while resisting conventionSupport YKDS https://buymeacoffee.com/yourkidsdontsuckBook a mentor session with Rythea https://calendly.com/rytheaConnect with Cara https://www.caratedstonetherapy.com/We (Rythea and Cara) are white, cis-gender, straight, middle-class women living with financial and societal privilege. Our perspectives are limited. We are committed to featuring guests from diverse lived experiences to reflect the realities of a broader parenting community. 25% of proceeds from this podcast go to creators of color who have shaped our work.Rate & Review: Your feedback helps us reach more families who are parenting with presence, resistance, and love. Let us know what this episode stirred in you.

Many parents who reject authoritarian parenting don’t have a clear model to follow. It can feel isolating, overwhelming, and exhausting—especially in a society that prioritizes punishment, control, and individualism over connection and collaboration.In this confronting and compassion-filled episode, Rythea speaks with Yolanda Williams, an activist and single parent raising her neurodivergent child with intention, autonomy, and resistance at the core. Rythea asks about the connection between facism and childism during this moment in history, and Yolanda expertly breaks this down. How is our parenting directly related to fighting against or participating in fascist patterns?Yolanda expands on the need for building a village—a local community that supports her child while also inviting her child to actively participate in building that community. She speaks about the moment she refused to let survival mode sever her bond with her child, how she is intentionally shaping her physical environments to support her values and her family’s needs, and how community-building has become part of her parenting practice. Yolanda’s insightful vision weaves its way through this conversation as she talks about parenting an autistic and developmentally delayed child—and how conscious parenting looks different when collaboration cues are not available. She brings voice to the reality of being a Black, disabled, solo parent, and the ongoing work of balancing self-responsibility with survival, in an unsupportive social and political system.Key Topics:Building intentional community as a parenting practiceParenting while disabled, solo, and under-resourcedRefusing to let survival disconnect you from your childCreating physical spaces that reflect anti-oppressive valuesConscious parenting with neurodivergent childrenRedefining the “village” as real, local, and reciprocalYolanda Williams is the founder of Parenting Decolonized, and is currently documenting her journey of building a farm. Follow along Yolanda's farming journey https://www.youtube.com/@WildandFreeFamilyFarmListen to Parenting Decolonized podcast https://parentingdecolonized.com/podcast/Support YKDS https://buymeacoffee.com/yourkidsdontsuckBook a mentor session with Rythea https://calendly.com/rytheaConnect with Cara https://www.caratedstonetherapy.com/We (Rythea and Cara) are white, cis-gender, straight, middle-class women living with financial and societal privilege. Our perspectives are limited. We are committed to featuring guests from diverse lived experiences to reflect the realities of a broader parenting community. 25% of proceeds from this podcast go to creators of color who have shaped our work.Rate & Review: Your feedback helps us reach more families who are parenting with presence, resistance, and love. Let us know what this episode stirred in you.

Disclaimer: This episode includes discussion of sensitive topics, including abuse, sexual abuse, and childhood sexual abuse. Although there are no explicit descriptions of child sexual abuse during the episode, please take care of yourself as you listen. If this content feels overwhelming or triggering, we encourage you to pause or take a break. Your safety and well-being matter more than anything we share here.In this potent and deeply personal episode, Cara and Rythea sit down with Abigail Gunn, MsEd, LMHC, LPC, licensed therapist and founder of People Make Sense. Abigail is changing the way we talk about childhood trauma, dissociation, and recovery—with compassion, sharp clarity, and a commitment to truth.This conversation explores how parenting can become a powerful catalyst for facing your trauma. Abigail shares how having children of her own helped surface repressed memories, and how her time in Al-Anon played a key role in awakening her from long-standing dissociation.Rythea also shares her experience of retrieving her own repressed memories through dreams, writing, and reenactment in therapy. Together, Cara, Rythea, and Abby explore what happens when a child is forced to choose between their own humanity and the perceived humanity of the adults around them. They discuss how trauma shapes the developing brain, and how dissociation becomes a survival strategy that can last long into adulthood.Key Topics:Childhood trauma as a profound and formative experienceThe myth of “false memory syndrome” and its negative impact on survivorsTrauma as neurodiversity—and what it teaches us about the brainHow trauma interrupts development and distorts the crucial stage of reality testingThe weaponization of attachment, care, pleasure, and love performed by perpetratorsParenting as a trigger and pathway to memory retrievalReclaiming self-worth by placing responsibility on abusersThe body’s role in healing and bringing forth memoriesAbigail shares how recovering memories of her own childhood sexual abuse led her to challenge dominant narratives in psychology, including the myth of “False Memory Syndrome.” She brings a fierce softness to the conversation—grounded in lived experience—and reminds us that trauma is not a disorder, but a normal response to harm.Get to know Abigail Gunn and People Make Sense https://peoplemakesense.comFollow Abigail Gunn on Instagram & TikTok @people.make.senseSupport YKDS https://buymeacoffee.com/yourkidsdontsuckSupport the podcast: https://buymeacoffee.com/yourkidsdontsuckWe (Rythea and Cara) are white, cis-gender, straight, middle-class women living with financial and societal privilege. Our perspectives are limited and do not reflect the realities of all our listeners. We’re committed to featuring guests who differ in gender, race, class, ability, sexuality, and lived experience in order to broaden this conversation and reflect more voices. 25% of proceeds from this podcast go to creators of color who have shaped our growth and healing.Rate & Review: Moved by this episode? Leave a review and help us reach more parents and survivors walking this path. Healing is possible—and no, your kids don’t suck.

Cara and Rythea dig into how hypocritical they feel as parent advocates when they fall so short on their own commitment to staying loving. They have a good laugh and some deep process about how childhood wounds and unconscious aspects of self show up when they least expect it.They explore specific situations where they have worked hard to be different, but keep getting triggered into the same kind of reactivity. They brainstorm (and unravel) how the umbrella of non-coercive, collaborative philosophy keeps them grounded and afloat, even as they make constant mistakes.Cara comes clean about the bedtime triggers she faces with her daughter and how demoralizing her trauma responses make her feel. Rythea exposes how a mother-wound with her own parent blocks her from allowing her child to individuate gracefully. Together, they ask: how does the parenting approach we use bring us back to our hearts and playful connection with our children through the long haul? What does it mean to model a process for our children when we’re the ones unraveling? Key Topics:Feeling powerless or threatened by your child’s autonomyParenting from your wounded partsModeling emotional processing in real timeCreating micro-moments of connection, even in ruptureHonoring your child’s developing identity and valuesThe tension between belief and behavior in parentingIf you’ve ever wondered, Am I even doing this right?, this episode is for you. Cara and Rythea remind us that real parenting is messy—and that returning to connection, especially after rupture, is where the healing begins.Tools & Resources Mentioned:The EARS acronym: Empathize, Affirm, Relate, Support/SolveParts Work (Internal Family Systems)Co-counseling techniques for emotional processingBook a parent mentor session with Rythea: https://rythea.com/for-parents Check out Cara’s Relationship Toolkit: https://www.caratedstonetherapy.com/your-relationship-toolkit Support YKDS https://buymeacoffee.com/yourkidsdontsuck It’s important and essential to put our voices (Rythea and Cara) in a context. We are two white, cis-gender, straight, middle-class women living with financial and societal privilege. Because of this, our perspectives are limited and do not reflect the realities of all our listeners. This podcast will feature guests with expertise around conscious parenting who differ in gender, race, class, abilities, sexual orientation, and histories from us, to broaden the conversation and reflect the lives of as many people as possible. 25% of the proceeds of this podcast will go to creators of color who have been mentors and influences on our work and in our growth as parents.Rate & Review Share your thoughts! Your feedback helps us reach more parents looking to embrace collaborative, non-coercive parenting.

How is our parenting an act of resistance or compliance to larger systems that harm? How do we know if we are unconsciously carrying out patterns of oppression in our families? What does it look like to step out of what is expected of us and parent from ancestral values?In this episode, Leslie Priscilla shares how being raised by two Mexican immigrants and parenting her own bicultural children inspired her to create Latinx Parenting. She opens up about how parenting in the context of colonization and white supremacy has forced many families of the global majority to adapt their parenting in ways that stray from ancestral wisdom. We talk about how parenting philosophies like attachment parenting and homeschooling are often seen as white-dominated spaces, even though these practices existed in many cultures before colonization disrupted them.Leslie Priscilla is a Queer Neurodivergent Non-Black Xicana/Child of Mexican Immigrants with Rarámuri lineage. She’s a mama of three, a certified Parent Coach with over 16 years of experience, and the founder of Latinx Parenting—a movement rooted in the liberation of familias through nonviolence, reparenting, and ancestral healing.In this conversation, Leslie gets personal about how she has been raising her children and how her family follows a flow of collaboration and organic learning. She brings us into the heart of nonviolent parenting, based on the work of Ruth Beaglehole, and reminds us that "at the root of every behavior is a need that is seeking to be met." Key Topics:Colonization’s impact on parenting across generationsThe erasure of ancestral caregiving practicesNonviolent parenting as liberationParenting as an act of social and racial justiceUnderstanding every behavior as a need trying to be metParenting as a portal to self-healing and collective growthThis episode is a warm, powerful call to the collective healing work needed to liberate future generations—one parent, one family, one kid, at a time.Get to know Leslie Priscilla and Latinx Parenting https://latinxparenting.org/Follow Leslie Priscilla on IG @latinxparentingSupport YKDS https://buymeacoffee.com/yourkidsdontsuckIt’s important and essential to put our voices (Rythea and Cara) in a context. We are two white, cis-gender, straight, middle-class women living with financial and societal privilege. Because of this, our perspectives are limited and do not reflect the realities of all our listeners. This podcast will feature guests with expertise around conscious parenting who differ in gender, race, class, abilities, sexual orientation, and histories from us, to broaden the conversation and reflect the lives of as many people as possible. 25% of the proceeds of this podcast will go to creators of color who have been mentors and influences on our work and in our growth as parents.Rate & ReviewShare your thoughts! Your feedback helps us reach more parents looking to embrace collaborative, non-coercive parenting.

We heard you and you want to know: How the hell do you collaboratively and consciously parent when you have multiple kids?! Non-coercive, conscious mom-to-five, Tanisha Henderson is here to answer this question and SO MUCH MORE.The episode begins with Tanisha sharing her personal journey to becoming a conscious, collaborative parent. She discusses her inspirations, pivotal moments, and the transformative experiences that led her to embrace non-coercive parenting as her guiding philosophy. She shares how she has come to see each of her kids as a whole person, how she supports the relationships between her children, and guides the flow of a busy and focused household. Tanisha homeschools so her skills are especially impressive when talking about the dynamics of learning and growth. There is no way you will not learn something uplifting when listening to this episode!Tanisha's work extends beyond her own family - listen as she shares her experiences working with other Black families who face specific struggles and triggers that she is has tackled personally and now professionally. We were utterly moved and uplifted by Tanisha’s passion for her purpose and we hope you’ll feel the same!Find Tanisha on her Facebook page: "Kid Advice with Tanisha Henderson" https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100095308454472Support YKDS https://buymeacoffee.com/yourkidsdontsuckIt’s important and essential to put our voices (Rythea and Cara) in a context. We are two white, cis-gender, straight, middle-class women living with financial and societal privilege. Because of this, our perspectives are limited and do not reflect the realities of all our listeners. This podcast will feature guests with expertise around conscious parenting who differ in gender, race, class, abilities, sexual orientation, and histories from us, to broaden the conversation and reflect the lives of as many people as possible. 25% of the proceeds of this podcast will go to creators of color who have been mentors and influences on our work and in our growth as parents.Rate & ReviewShare your thoughts! Your feedback helps us reach more parents looking to embrace collaborative, non-coercive parenting.

In this powerful episode, Cara and Rythea sit down with Josh Connolly, bestselling author of It’s Them, Not You: How to Break Free from Toxic Parents and Reclaim Your Story. Josh has become a leading voice in the mental health world, known for his no-nonsense approach to healing family trauma and supporting those affected by parental alcohol issues and toxic parents.Together, they discuss the importance of simple, direct language when addressing painful family dynamics—and how that clarity can be life-changing for children. Josh opens up about becoming a father at a young age, and shares how he came to terms with his own traumatic childhood and how that has shaped both his parenting and sense of self. The conversation also explores somatic practices (aka: anything that brings you INTO the body) as a gateway to emotional connection, especially for those socialized as boys who were taught to disconnect from feelings.This episode could be especially powerful for parents who have struggled with male conditioning. Josh talks about self-protection and reactivity as a response to being raised male, being forced to shut down and mask, and finding intense relief from facing the lie and harm of that path.Key Topics:Understanding yourself as a highly sensitive personSupporting boys and men to feel and express their emotionsExplaining what somatic practices areHealing from toxic parents or a dysfunctional childhoodJosh’s grounded presence and emotional honesty offer an accessible invitation to anyone ready to rewrite their story or anyone dealing with a complicated and abusive past. Whether you’re a parent or an adult child looking to heal, this episode serves as both a resource and an inspiration to repair from a place of self-trust.Purchase Josh’s Book: https://www.joshconnolly.co.uk/ Follow Josh on IG @josh_ffwSupport YKDS https://buymeacoffee.com/yourkidsdontsuckIt’s important and essential to put our voices (Rythea and Cara) in a context. We are two white, cis-gender, straight, middle-class women living with financial and societal privilege. Because of this, our perspectives are limited and do not reflect the realities of all our listeners. This podcast will feature guests with expertise around conscious parenting who differ in gender, race, class, abilities, sexual orientation, and histories from us, to broaden the conversation and reflect the lives of as many people as possible. 25% of the proceeds of this podcast will go to creators of color who have been mentors and influences on our work and in our growth as parents.Rate & ReviewShare your thoughts! Your feedback helps us reach more parents looking to embrace collaborative, non-coercive parenting.

In this deeply honest episode, Cara and Rythea dive into the nuanced world of non-coercive parenting through the lens of Internal Family Systems, Parts Work Therapy, and Inner Bonding. They unpack what it means to parent in the moment while working with merged parts—protective internal voices that take over when we're triggered, especially by our kids.This episode explores the uncomfortable but powerful truth: sometimes we see our child as our abuser. Cara and Rythea get real about how this perception emerges, how it relates to unhealed trauma, and how those reactive parts are trying—however messily—to protect us.Cara and Rythea share real-life examples when their children activated them, and how they identified and engaged with the parts that took over. They talk about what it’s like to notice in real time when you're not in your Self and how to compassionately return.Key TopicsUnderstanding merged parts and protectorsTools for recognizing when you're not in Self and how to returnProjecting past trauma onto your childThe healing potential of seeing your protectors as helpers, not enemiesCultivating Self-EnergyDismantling parental shame and reconnecting to our childrenThis work isn’t about parenting perfectly. It’s about parenting from presence, about having a relationship with yourself so that you can have an authentic connection with your child. By integrating your own protective parts, you make space for your Self-Energy to lead—and from there, all relationships, especially with your kids, become more truthful and safe.ResourcesMeditations by Dick Schwartz https://insighttimer.com/drrichardschwartzThe One Inside podcast https://podcasts.apple.com/ca/podcast/the-one-inside-an-internal-family-systems-ifs-podcast/id1460334766Inner Bonding https://www.innerbonding.com/Book with Rythea calendly.com/rytheaBook with Cara calendly.com/caratedstonetherapySupport https://buymeacoffee.com/yourkidsdontsuck It’s important and essential to put our voices (Rythea and Cara) in a context. We are two white, cis-gender, straight, middle-class women living with financial and societal privilege. Because of this, our perspectives are limited and do not reflect the realities of all our listeners. This podcast will feature guests with expertise around conscious parenting who differ in gender, race, class, abilities, sexual orientation, and histories from us, to broaden the conversation and reflect the lives of as many people as possible. 25% of the proceeds of this podcast will go to creators of color who have been mentors and influences on our work and in our growth as parents.Rate & ReviewShare your thoughts! Your feedback helps us reach more parents looking to embrace collaborative, non-coercive parenting.

In this episode, we sit down with our social media manager/helper/everything-assistant, Joey D’Angelo, who shares their relationship with our work on the podcast. Joey is not a parent, but is full of childlike wonder and endless compassion, and has been on a recovery journey which includes reparenting herself. What happens when we turn the principles of mutual respect, emotional regulation, and co-regulation inward? Joey shares the impact of their upbringing and how that led to their development of Borderline Personality Disorder (aka Emotional Dysregulation), and their journey through BPD recovery, re-building self-trust, reparenting, and applying conscious parenting methods to heal inner wounds. Together we explore reparenting through the lens of collaborative parenting—without parenting any children. On this episode, we discuss: ✨ What is reparenting is, and how to recover our inherent self-trust ✨ Learning new relational languages that are non-coercive, and how this neurological rewiring is challenging in the short term, but will create more peaceful relationships in the long term. ✨ How collaborative parenting principles—like connection over correction—apply to self-growth and personal healing ✨ Practical ways to nurture your inner child with empathy and patience ✨ The challenges and breakthroughs of unlearning harsh self-talk and internalized criticismWhether you're a parent or not, this conversation offers powerful insights into healing, self-trust, and cultivating an internal environment of love and understanding. Joey is a gender non-conforming, neurodivergent queer in their mid-30s. They are a white, AFAB non-parent, single person who has a value system rooted in understanding intersectionality and developing communities where equity precedes privilege. They worked in film and TV for 7 years, ran their own business between 2018 and 2021, and have worked in events, marketing, and social media for over a decade. Joey lives with Borderline Personality Disorder (also referred to as Emotional Dysregulation) in Toronto, Canada and is actively involved in justice for people who are insecurely housed, and their BPD diagnosis has completely shifted the way they care for themself, offering a North Star that's rooted in balance, comfort, and fun. Get in touch with them:Instagram, TikTok, YouTube: @hi.itsjoey Website: www.joeydangelo.squarespace.com

As non-coercive, collaborative parents, how do we move through self-blame and really trust our child’s process?In this episode, Cara supports Rythea to explore the trigger of being helpless over her daughter’s pain. Rythea unpacks, in real time, patterns of self-hatred and self-blame that are tied to underlying beliefs around parenting and self-worth. Rythea, with Cara’s facilitation, models a process of expressing the unbearable feelings around keeping her child safe, happy, and healthy. This episode takes you through the healing process of a parent taking responsibility for her own triggers, memories, and conditioning, in the face of things she cannot control as a parent.The friendship between Cara and Rythea, as well as their knowledge as therapists, guides this episode into places listeners rarely get to see and hear on a parenting podcast.--It’s important and essential to put our voices (Rythea and Cara) in a context. We are two white, cis-gender, straight, middle-class women living with financial and societal privilege. Because of this, our perspectives are limited and do not reflect the realities of all our listeners. This podcast will feature guests with expertise around conscious parenting who differ in gender, race, class, abilities, sexual orientation, and histories from us, to broaden the conversation and reflect the lives of as many people as possible. 25% of the proceeds of this podcast will go to creators of color who have been mentors and influences on our work and in our growth as parents.You can donate to this podcast by going to https://linktr.ee/yourkidsdontsuckBook with Cara: calendly.com/caratedstonetherapyBook with Rythea: rythea.com/supportsessionRate & Review:Enjoyed this episode? Leave us a review on your favorite podcast platform! Your feedback helps us reach more parents looking to embrace collaborative, non-coercive parenting.

In this episode, we sit down with Amanda Diekman, author of Low-Demand Parenting, to explore the intersection of PDA (Pathological Demand Avoidance), neurodiversity, and low-demand parenting.What We Cover:What PDA is and is not – Understanding PDA as a profile rather than a diagnosis, and clearing up common misconceptions.Why PDA is widely discussed today – How awareness of PDA has grown and why so many neurodivergent families relate to this profile.The Low-Demand Parenting approach – What it means to shift from high expectations to a more supportive, flexible, and attuned style of parenting.How a low-demand lifestyle works in practice – Real-life applications and examples of reducing demands to create a more peaceful home.The importance of practicing low-demand living for yourself – Why parents must first extend grace and compassion to themselves in order to do the same for their kids.Parenting trauma and nervous system healing – How our past experiences shape the way we parent, and the ways we can regulate and heal our nervous systems to show up more fully for our children.If you’ve ever felt like traditional parenting advice doesn’t fit your neurodivergent family, or if you’re struggling to support a child who resists demands, this episode is for you. Amanda offers compassionate, insightful guidance on how to shift from a high-pressure, compliance-based dynamic to one that fosters connection, trust, and emotional safety.Amanda Diekman is an autistic adult, parent coach, and author in the neurodiversity space. Amanda runs a successful coaching practice for parents of neurodivergent children including online courses and a vibrant membership community. She lives with her husband and three neurodivergent children in an intentional community in Durham, NC.Find Amanda Diekman’s work at:https://www.amandadiekman.com@lowdemandamanda--It’s important and essential to put our voices (Rythea and Cara) in a context. We are two white, cis-gender, straight, middle-class women living with financial and societal privilege. Because of this, our perspectives are limited and do not reflect the realities of all our listeners. This podcast will feature guests with expertise around conscious parenting who differ in gender, race, class, abilities, sexual orientation, and histories from us, to broaden the conversation and reflect the lives of as many people as possible. 25% of the proceeds of this podcast will go to creators of color who have been mentors and influences on our work and in our growth as parents.You can donate to this podcast by going to https://buymeacoffee.com/yourkidsdontsuckBook with Cara: calendly.com/caratedstonetherapyBook with Rythea: rythea.com/supportsessionJoin Rythea's support group: https://buymeacoffee.com/rythealeeRate & Review:Enjoyed this episode? Leave us a review on your favorite podcast platform! Your feedback helps us reach more parents looking to embrace collaborative, non-coercive parenting.

In this episode of Your Kids Don’t Suck, Rythea and Cara dive into the practical side of non-coercive, collaborative parenting (NCC) - how to guide children without control, how our triggers shape our reactions, and why guiding our kids is an essential part of the philosophy (even though many NCC parents struggle with it).We start by checking in on how we’ve been doing lately and explore how our personal triggers challenge us to reframe our children's behaviors instead of reacting from old conditioning.We also read a listener’s question and discuss how to use play as a way to guide young children—shifting away from control while still offering structure and support. Many NCC parents worry about being too controlling, but collaboration doesn’t mean a lack of guidance. We talk about what true collaboration looks like and how it differs from permissiveness or coercion.This episode is full of real-life insights, practical examples, and compassionate reframing for parents trying to walk the fine line between honoring their child's autonomy and offering the guidance they need.--It’s important and essential to put our voices (Rythea and Cara) in a context. We are two white, cis-gender, straight, middle-class women living with financial and societal privilege. Because of this, our perspectives are limited and do not reflect the realities of all our listeners. This podcast will feature guests with expertise around conscious parenting who differ in gender, race, class, abilities, sexual orientation, and histories from us, to broaden the conversation and reflect the lives of as many people as possible. 25% of the proceeds of this podcast will go to creators of color who have been mentors and influences on our work and in our growth as parents.You can donate to this podcast by going to https://linktr.ee/yourkidsdontsuckBook with Cara: calendly.com/caratedstonetherapyBook with Rythea: rythea.com/supportsessionRate & Review:Enjoyed this episode? Leave us a review on your favorite podcast platform! Your feedback helps us reach more parents looking to embrace collaborative, non-coercive parenting.

In this paradigm-shifting episode, Cara and Rythea sit down with special guest Vivek Patel to explore the transformative power of parenting as a spiritual practice. Together, they dive into the profound ways parenting forces us to confront our deepest blocks, triggers, and fears. From sleepless nights to moments of deep connection, this episode unpacks how the challenges of raising children can lead to unparalleled personal growth and spiritual evolution. Whether you're a seasoned parent or just starting out, this conversation will inspire you to reframe the difficulties of parenting as opportunities for transformation and collaboration.Key Takeaways:- You can’t avoid the challenges of parenting, but you can learn to meet them with curiosity, compassion, and openness.- By focusing on the essence of your child, you create a foundation of connection, trust, and collaboration.- Spiritual growth in parenting doesn’t mean being perfect; it means showing up authentically, repairing when needed, and learning as you go.- Non-coercive parenting isn’t about "letting kids do whatever they want"—it’s about creating a partnership that honors everyone’s needs.--It’s important and essential to put our voices (Rythea and Cara) in a context. We are two white, cis-gender, straight, middle-class women living with financial and societal privilege. Because of this, our perspectives are limited and do not reflect the realities of all our listeners. This podcast will feature guests with expertise around conscious parenting who differ in gender, race, class, abilities, sexual orientation, and histories from us, to broaden the conversation and reflect the lives of as many people as possible. 25% of the proceeds of this podcast will go to creators of color who have been mentors and influences on our work and in our growth as parents. You can donate to this podcast by going to https://linktr.ee/yourkidsdontsuckBook with Cara: calendly.com/caratedstonetherapyBook with Rythea: rythea.com/supportsessionRate & Review: Enjoyed this episode? Leave us a review on your favorite podcast platform! Your feedback helps us reach more parents looking to embrace collaborative, non-coercive parenting.

Do you ever feel like your child makes you become a person you vowed you would never be? Have you noticed that you act like a version of yourself you don’t recognize in regular life? This is because we have parts - internal parts that get triggered by your kids and by feeling helpless as a parent. We go into parts of ourselves from childhood that rear up from our past and cause us emotional responses we often don’t understand. It can be very overwhelming and daunting.In this episode, Rythea and Cara, both therapists and parents, explore how the Internal Family Systems (IFS) parts work model can be applied to parenting. They discuss practical ways to navigate resistance and anger—both in ourselves as parents and in our children when they are triggered.Cara shares her personal challenges with being woken up at night by her child, offering an honest look at how difficult moments can bring up our own parts that need care and validation. Together, they unpack the importance of processing emotions through validation rather than bypassing or suppressing them.The conversation highlights the ongoing work of non-coercive, collaborative parenting: letting go of control, leaning into connection, and leading with validation, empathy, and trust. If you’re looking for ways to show up for your child while navigating your inner world, this episode is for you.Key TakeawaysIFS in Parenting: Using parts work to understand your triggers as a parent can help you show up more calmly and effectively for your child.Working with Resistance: Recognize and validate the protective parts in you and your child rather than reacting with frustration or coercion.The Power of Validation: Processing emotions often requires the simple but profound act of acknowledging and validating feelings—both your own and your child’s.Collaborative Parenting Principles: Letting go, leaning in, and leading with connection and empathy fosters trust and growth in the parent-child relationship.--It’s important and essential to put our voices (Rythea and Cara) in a context. We are two white, cis-gender, straight, middle-class women living with financial and societal privilege. Because of this, our perspectives are limited and do not reflect the realities of all our listeners. This podcast will feature guests with expertise around conscious parenting who differ in gender, race, class, abilities, sexual orientation, and histories from us, to broaden the conversation and reflect the lives of as many people as possible. 25% of the proceeds of this podcast will go to creators of color who have been mentors and influences on our work and in our growth as parents. You can donate to this podcast by going to https://linktr.ee/yourkidsdontsuckBook with Cara: calendly.com/caratedstonetherapyBook with Rythea: rythea.com/supportsession

In this episode of Your Kids Don’t Suck, Cara and Rythea sit down with researcher and parent Ash Lowenthal to discuss their PhD work on trauma-informed care and non-coercive, collaborative parenting. Ash shares their passion for challenging systems that perpetuate trauma and explores how these principles can inform parenting journeys.Key Topics:Parallels between non-coercive parenting and trauma-informed care in professional settings.Why traditional "authoritative" parenting often falls short compared to collaborative methods.Evidence supporting non-coercive approaches in fostering resilience and emotional safety in children.Practical strategies for integrating trauma-informed principles into everyday parenting.Research gaps in "gentle parenting" and why it may not always meet its promises.References:Harris & Fallot (2001): Dynamics between service providers and users can mirror abusive relationships. Envisioning a trauma-informed service system: A vital paradigm shift.Lowenthal (2020): Implementation of trauma-informed care in child- and youth-serving sectors. International Journal of Child and Adolescent Resilience.Durrant & Stewart-Tufescu (2017): Defining discipline in the era of children's rights. The International Journal of Children’s Rights.Curran & Hill (2022): Impact of parental expectations and criticism on perfectionism. Psychological Bulletin.Fuentes et al. (2022): Parental warmth without strictness fosters adolescent empathy and self-concept. Frontiers in Psychology.Garcia et al. (2020): Parenting warmth and psychosocial adjustment across generations. International Journal of Environmental Research and Public Health.For access to these articles (often behind paywalls), email Ash, and they’ll provide a PDF version.Connect with Ash:Email: ash.lowenthal@gmail.comInstagram: @ash.lowenthal

What can happen when two friends (who happen to be therapists) support each other to explore wounds and triggers with the intention of becoming a more loving parent? What does the process of tracking our triggers back in time look like? What does it mean to love the child we once were?In this episode of Your Kids Don’t Suck, Rythea supports Cara as she navigates recent feelings of low-level anxiety, gently guiding her through these sensations using the Internal Family Systems (IFS) framework. Together, they uncover how Cara’s current worries around parenting link back to her inner child’s past experiences, where autonomy was frequently disrespected. As Cara witnesses her 2 year old now, who was assigned female at birth, growing into an independent young person, she feels echoes of her own confusion, fear, and vulnerability from childhood.Through their candid conversation, Rythea helps Cara see how these unprocessed parts of herself are reawakened in her parenting, leading to worries about her child’s safety and independence that are, in fact, deeply rooted in her own experiences. This powerful episode delves into the complexity of parenting while carrying unhealed parts from our past, revealing how these fears and anxieties often stem from the ways we were left alone or felt afraid in our formative years. Listeners will resonate with the theme of self-compassion as Cara and Rythea explore how parents can become more aware of when they’re projecting past experiences onto their children. They also discuss practical strategies for recognizing and calming these inner parts, helping listeners to parent from a place of clarity and presence rather than reactivity and fear.Key Takeaways:- How IFS parts work can help parents separate their past experiences from their current parenting challenges.- Understanding how unresolved childhood feelings can fuel anxieties about our children’s independence.- Tools and strategies to recognize when fears about our kids are rooted in our own experiences.- The importance of self-compassion and curiosity when exploring inner parts and past wounds.Tune in for an episode that will leave you feeling understood, inspired, and ready to bring greater mindfulness into your parenting journey.--It’s important and essential to put our voices (Rythea and Cara) in a context. We are two white, cis-gender, straight, middle-class women living with financial and societal privilege. Because of this, our perspectives are limited and do not reflect the realities of all our listeners. This podcast will feature guests with expertise around conscious parenting who differ in gender, race, class, abilities, sexual orientation, and histories from us, to broaden the conversation and reflect the lives of as many people as possible. 25% of the proceeds of this podcast will go to creators of color who have been mentors and influences on our work and in our growth as parents. You can donate to this podcast by going to https://linktr.ee/yourkidsdontsuckBook with Cara: calendly.com/caratedstonetherapyBook with Rythea: rythea.com/supportsession

Do you struggle with playing with your kids? When playfulness is required to make a difficult moment easier, do you feel blocked, stuck, shut-down, or reactive?In this episode, therapists Cara and Rythea dive into the transformative power of playing with your kids, no matter their age. They explore the why behind play—why it’s essential for healthy development and connection—and dig into the research on the benefits of play in strengthening the parent-child relationship. Through both personal stories and professional insights, they discuss the systemic and emotional barriers that can prevent parents from embracing play and share practical ways to overcome these obstacles. Cara sheds light on how to guide kids through story and play, especially neurodiverse children, drawing from her experience working with families and ND kids. From letting go of perfectionism to using improv skills to meet kids on their level, Cara and Rythea discuss how to become more playful and attuned as parents, regardless of past experiences with play.Tune in to discover how to turn playtime into meaningful, joyful connection time with your kids!Resources from this episode:Rythea's book recommendation: Playful Parenting: An Exciting New Approach to Raising Children That Will Help You Nurture Close Connections, Solve Behavior Problems, and Encourage Confidence by Lawrence J. Cohen, PhDResearch on play referenced in this episode: Brown, E. A., & Dunn, J. (2010). The role of play in social development. Child Development Perspectives, 4(2), 91-95.Fisher, K. R., & Hirsh-Pasek, K. (2012). Playing around in school: The role of play in development. American Journal of Play, 4(2), 155-175.Hakkarainen, P., & Palviainen, T. (2011). Cultural tools and practices in the development of young children. European Early Childhood Education Research Journal, 19(1), 43-56.Harter, S. (2012). The self-perception profile for children: Manual and questionnaires. University of Denver.Kaderavek, J. N., & Justice, L. M. (2013). Shared storybook reading: A new strategy for language and literacy. Language, Speech, and Hearing Services in Schools, 44(3), 245-258.Ladd, G. W., & Burgess, K. W. (2015). Peer relationships and school adjustment. Child Development, 86(3), 720-731.Morris, A. S., et al. (2013). The role of parenting in children’s emotional regulation. Emotion, 13(2), 238-249.Piek, J. P., et al. (2010). Motor skills and developmental coordination disorders. Developmental Psychology, 46(5), 1132-1141.Pizarro, J., et al. (2017). Play therapy for children experiencing stress. Journal of Child and Family Studies, 26(3), 778-785.Shlafer, R. J., & Poehlmann, J. (2010). Attachment and parenting. In Handbook of child psychology (Vol. 3). Wiley.--It’s important and essential to put our voices (Rythea and Cara) in a context. We are two white, cis-gender, straight, middle-class women living with financial and societal privilege. Because of this, our perspectives are limited and do not reflect the realities of all our listeners. This podcast will feature guests with expertise around conscious parenting who differ in gender, race, class, abilities, sexual orientation, and histories from us, to broaden the conversation and reflect the lives of as many people as possible. 25% of the proceeds of this podcast will go to creators of color who have been mentors and influences on our work and in our growth as parents. You can donate to this podcast by going to https://linktr.ee/yourkidsdontsuck

Sometimes you meet someone online or in person and it changes the course of your life. Dayna Martin’s book called “Radical Unschooling” was part of (co-host) Rythea Lee’s parenting wake up call. She joined Dayna’s support groups and coached with her during a time of deep distress and confusion. Dayna’s loving and articulate allyship of her children and children everywhere helped Rythea turn towards non-coercion and collaboration with her daughter.What are the underpinnings of Dayna’s approach and how does it fly in the face of everything we’ve been taught about teaching and raising children?Join us as Dayna shares more about what stepping out of our society norms did for her children and her family. She shares personal anecdotes on how she handles negative reactions and remains grounded in her values, providing listeners with insight into the resilience required to stand up for unconventional beliefs. Unschooling, for Dayna, is part of a broader social justice initiative. She talks about how giving children autonomy over their learning can challenge and help dismantle oppressive systems, including those that perpetuate racism, sexism, and homophobia. She believes that empowering children to think critically and empathetically from an early age can contribute to a more inclusive and compassionate society.Addressing common critiques—such as concerns that children who unschool aren’t learning or that unschooling parents are neglectful—Dayna shares her responses. She explains that unschooling isn’t about a lack of learning but about transforming how we approach education, highlighting the extensive skills and knowledge her children have gained outside traditional schooling.She gives listeners an inside look at her family’s current dynamics and shares updates on what her children are passionate about, from creative projects to budding interests, illustrating how unschooling has allowed them to pursue what genuinely excites them.Join Cara, Rythea, and Dayna as they explore the powerful intersections of unschooling, freedom, and social change, challenging us to rethink our approaches to education and parenting.Connect with Dayna:https://www.facebook.com/DaynaMartinhttps://daynamartin.comhttps://radicalunschooling.com--It’s important and essential to put our voices (Rythea and Cara) in a context. We are two white, cis-gender, straight, middle-class women living with financial and societal privilege. Because of this, our perspectives are limited and do not reflect the realities of all our listeners. This podcast will feature guests with expertise around conscious parenting who differ in gender, race, class, abilities, sexual orientation, and histories from us, to broaden the conversation and reflect the lives of as many people as possible. 25% of the proceeds of this podcast will go to creators of color who have been mentors and influences on our work and in our growth as parents. You can donate to this podcast by going to https://linktr.ee/yourkidsdontsuck

We’re back with a brand new season featuring the wonderful Iris Chen from @untigering! Iris shares her personal experiences of transitioning from being a "tiger mother" to a parent who fosters connection, collaboration, and respect with her children.In this episode:- Defining Untigering: What does it mean to be a “deconstructing tiger mother”? Iris breaks down the concept of "untigering" and how it challenges the traditional authoritarian approach, especially within the Asian community.- Non-Coercive Parenting: Cara and Rythea ask Iris about parenting two teens- her journey with non-coercion, unschooling, and creating a family culture of connection.- From Authoritative to Collaborative Parent: Iris shares the pivotal moments that led to this shift and the changes she saw in her relationship with her children. She breaks down the results and positive impact of making this choice. Rythea and Cara chime in on the “A-ha” moments that brought them into this approach.- Biggest Blocks for Parents: Drawing from her coaching experience, Iris discusses the common challenges and mental blocks parents face when making the shift toward non-authoritarian parenting. She offers advice and insights on overcoming these obstacles.- Cultural Resistance: Iris takes a special focus on the Asian community’s unique challenges with authoritarian parenting. She opens up about why it’s hard for some families to let go of strict, obedience-focused methods, and how to create space for healing and transformation.- Unschooling and Its Purpose: Iris talks about her experience with unschooling and how it aligns with her values and mission to foster freedom, autonomy, and joy in learning for her children.Join us for an insightful conversation about parenting, culture, activism, and how we can build healthier relationships with our children by embracing connection over control.Tune in to hear how Iris’s journey can inspire your own parenting transformation!Connect with Iris:Instagram: @untigeringhttps://untigering.comuntigering@gmail.com--It’s important and essential to put our voices (Rythea and Cara) in a context. We are two white, cis-gender, straight, middle-class women living with financial and societal privilege. Because of this, our perspectives are limited and do not reflect the realities of all our listeners. This podcast will feature guests with expertise around conscious parenting who differ in gender, race, class, abilities, sexual orientation, and histories from us, to broaden the conversation and reflect the lives of as many people as possible. 25% of the proceeds of this podcast will go to creators of color who have been mentors and influences on our work and in our growth as parents. You can donate to this podcast by going to https://linktr.ee/yourkidsdontsuck