Your Parenting Mojo - Respectful, research-based parenting ideas to help kids thrive

You've told your parents you're not available during work hours. They keep calling anyway.   You've asked them not to comment on your weight. They bring it up again on the next visit.   You've said no to those random Amazon gifts. Another package arrives at your door.   Many parents know how to set boundaries, but get stuck when someone won't respect them. In this summary episode, therapist Nedra Glover Tawwab shares practical strategies for enforcing boundaries when people repeatedly ignore or dismiss them.   You'll learn about the "fire extinguisher method" for stopping uncomfortable conversations before they spiralhow to embody your boundaries through your actions (not just your words)how to navigate the especially tricky situation where you rely on someone for childcare but they won't respect your limits.   Nedra also discusses her new children's book and works through real scenarios about unwanted gifts, body-shaming comments, and what to do when setting a boundary means potentially losing support you need.   This conversation gets honest about the hard choices enforcing boundaries sometimes requires. Can you really maintain a boundary with someone you depend on? What do you do when the person provides childcare for you?   Nedra offers a clear framework for deciding when to stand firm, how to take action when words aren't working, and why allowing people to be upset with you is part of the process.   Questions this episode will answer How do you deal with someone who doesn't respect boundaries? Enforce the boundary through your behavior, not just your words. If someone keeps calling during work hours after you've asked them not to, don't answer the phone. If they bring unwanted gifts, donate them immediately or return them to the gift-giver. You can't control what they do, but you can control what you do.   Why is setting boundaries so hard? We often learned in our families of origin that setting boundaries leads to rejection or anger. We worry about people being mad at us, the relationship ending, or being seen as selfish. These fears come from early experiences where our caregivers responded poorly when we tried to express our needs and boundaries.   How do you enforce boundaries when words aren't working? Use behavioral enforcement. Stop answering calls during the times you've said you're unavailable. Use the "fire extinguisher method" to interrupt conversations the moment they start heading toward topics you've said are off-limits. Show through your actions that you meant what you said.   What is the fire extinguisher method for boundaries? Jump in to stop conversations before they get going, the way you'd use a fire extinguisher on a small flame before it spreads. When someone starts bringing up a topic you've clearly said you won't discuss, interrupt them immediately: "I know where this is going, and I don’t want to talk about it.”   Why do people get upset when you set boundaries? Some people are used to being able to say or do whatever they want in the relationship. Your boundary ‘brushes up against’ their expectation of having full access to you or being able to speak freely. They may also genuinely believe you need to hear what they have to say.   Should you be with someone who doesn't respect your boundaries? This depends on the severity of the violation and your level of dependence. If someone provides childcare but also body shames you, you may need to find alternative childcare to truly maintain the boundary. Sometimes you have to choose between the support someone offers and having your boundaries respected. You might accept that certain behaviors come as part of the "package," or you might want to reduce your...

Do you ever wake up with tension in your body because you know your child will want to play the moment you walk out of your bedroom?   Do you spend time with your child but think about all the chores you should be doing instead?   Parent Aija came to a (FREE!) Beyond The Behavior coaching call with exactly this challenge. She plays with her four-and-a-half-year-old son a lot. But she doesn't enjoy it. And she has big feelings of guilt and shame about that.   What starts as a question about setting boundaries and making time for herself becomes something much deeper. We discover that Aija's struggle with play isn't really about play at all.   When we explore what makes Special Time so hard, we uncover sadness and grief that Aija didn't even realize was there. The messages she received as a child about productivity and being a "good" future wife and mother are still running in the background, making it really hard for her to be present with her son. But we also find three concrete strategies that help Aija see a way forward.   By the end of our conversation, her entire demeanor has shifted. She's smiling. She has a plan. We’ll uncover the key reasons why playing with our kids is hard, and how to get the most out of this important time.   Questions This Episode Will Answer What is parenting guilt? Parenting guilt shows up when you think you "should" enjoy something but you don't. As Aija describes it: "I don't enjoy just spending time playing. My kids, that's terrible. But it seems that no matter how much Special Time we have, it's not enough for him." It's the gap between the parent you think you're supposed to be and the reality of your experience.   Why do I have parenting guilt about not enjoying play? Parenting guilt often comes from comparing yourself to others and from messages you received growing up. When Aija watches her husband play easily with their son, she thinks "I want to be like that" - but that comparison triggers shame, which makes it even harder to make decisions aligned with your values.   What is Special Time with your child? Special Time is consistent daily dedicated one-on-one time with your child where they get to choose the activity. The purpose is to meet their need for autonomy, along with their needs for connection, joy, and fun.   How is Special Time linked to my child’s behavior?  Even just spending 10 minutes consistently with your child can have enormous benefits on their connection with you (and thus their behavior in situations outside of Special Time).  Many of the behaviors that parents find irritating (resisting leaving the house in the morning, annoying behaviors, hitting siblings, bedtime stalling) are kids’ best attempt to connect with us - when they do these things, we pay attention to them.  When we do Special Time, they’ll likely stop using these behaviors to get your attention/connection.   What are the benefits of Special Time? Special Time meets your child's needs for connection, joy, play, and autonomy. When children get their connection needs met consistently, they're less likely to use challenging behaviors to get your attention. As we discover in Aija's situation, her son's morning behaviors (taking her bookmark, throwing blankets over her head) are his way of trying to get connection time.   How to do Special Time with kids? Special Time should ideally be 10 minutes of consistent daily play where the child gets to choose the activity.  The consistency is really important.  It’s much better to do 10 minutes daily than an hour on an unpredictable basis.  This communicates to your child: “You’re special.  I love you and I want to spend time with you.”   How to make...

Are you tired of feeling guilty every time you get angry as a parent? What if your anger actually contains valuable information about what needs to change in your family systems?   Most parental anger management approaches treat all anger the same way - as a problem that requires control. But research shows there are actually two distinct types of parental anger, and understanding this difference changes everything about how you respond. Instead of suppressing your emotions or exploding at your kids, you can learn to use your anger constructively to create positive change for your family.   In this episode, you'll discover why traditional anger control methods often backfire and learn a practical framework for responding to your anger in ways that honor both your emotional experience and your family's wellbeing. You'll understand when your anger is pointing to legitimate systemic problems versus when it's signaling you've hit your personal limits.   Questions this episode will answer Why do I get so angry as a parent? Parental anger often emerges when core values around fairness, respect, or safety are violated, or when you're overwhelmed and basic needs aren't being met.   What are the two types of anger parents experience? Values-Aligned Anger carries information about legitimate concerns and aims for positive change, while Reactive Anger emerges from overwhelm, triggers, or unmet basic needs.   How can I control my anger with my child? The HEAR method (Halt, Empathize, Acknowledge, Respond) provides a framework for responding to anger constructively rather than suppressing or exploding.   How does parental anger affect children? When parents model constructive anger responses, children learn that emotions can fuel positive change rather than destruction, and that their voices matter.   How do I deal with parental anger issues? Understanding whether your anger is Values-Aligned (requiring systemic changes) or Reactive (requiring self-care and healing) determines the most effective response strategy.   What are the symptoms of parental rage? Reactive anger typically comes suddenly with surprising intensity, seems disproportionate to triggers, and leaves you drained, while Values-Aligned anger builds gradually and energizes you toward solutions.   What you'll learn in this episode Why emotional suppression techniques often backfire and create "emotional rebound" effectsHow to distinguish between Values-Aligned Anger (pointing to systemic problems) and Reactive Anger (signaling overwhelm or triggers)The HEAR method for responding to anger constructively while maintaining family connectionPractical strategies for addressing the mental load and inequitable parenting responsibilitiesHow to model healthy anger responses that teach children their emotions have valueWhen to focus on systemic changes versus personal healing and self-careWhy your anger about impossible parenting standards reflects legitimate concerns about family-unfriendly systemsHow to break the Anger-Guilt Cycle that keeps parents stuck in suppression and explosion patterns   Ready to dig deeper into your triggered reactions? If you find yourself experiencing a lot of Reactive Anger - the kind that seems to come from past triggers or overwhelming stress - our Taming Your Triggers workshop can help. This 10-week program gives you tools for staying regulated and connected with your children even in challenging moments, including how to address the root causes of triggered reactions.   When you understand and heal the experiences from your own childhood that keep showing up in your parenting today, you can respond to your children from a...

Do you find yourself going from zero to a hundred in seconds when your child spills something, refuses to cooperate, or has a meltdown? If you're constantly asking yourself, "Why do I keep snapping at my child?" or "Why am I so angry as a parent?" - you're definitely not alone. Many parents struggle with parenting triggers that seem to come out of nowhere, leaving them wondering how such small incidents can create such big reactions.   What if your childhood "wasn't that bad" but you're still dealing with parenting anger? In this episode, we explore the connection between unknown childhood trauma and parenting triggers through a real coaching session with Terese, a teacher and mom of three who found herself snapping at her kids despite having plenty of support at home.   You'll discover how unresolved childhood trauma in adults shows up in parenting - even when we don't recognize our experiences as traumatic - and learn practical strategies to break generational cycles of yelling and reactivity.   Questions this episode will answer Can you have childhood trauma and not know it? Yes - many adults don't recognize patterns like walking on eggshells or constant criticism as signs of unresolved childhood trauma, but these experiences still create parenting triggers and shape how we respond to stress as parents.   Why do I get so angry as a parent when my childhood wasn't traumatic? Unknown childhood trauma often involves seemingly "normal" experiences that still create triggers in our nervous system, causing us to react intensely to situations that mirror our past, even if we don't identify our upbringing as traumatic.   What are the signs of unresolved childhood trauma in adults? Signs include quick reactivity to minor issues, parenting anger over small things, feeling like everything is "your fault," difficulty with self-compassion, and repeating patterns you experienced as a child - even from childhoods that seemed "fine."   How do I stop getting angry with my child? Breaking the cycle of parenting triggers involves recognizing your unknown childhood trauma patterns, meeting your basic needs (like movement and rest), and developing self-compassion instead of self-judgment.   How to deal with rage as a parent? Start by identifying your baseline needs, practice self-compassion when you do snap, work to separate your mother's voice from your own thoughts, and understand that parenting anger often stems from unresolved trauma and parenting patterns.   Why am I so triggered by my child when I had a normal childhood? Children often activate our own childhood wounds through their behavior, especially when it mirrors situations where we felt criticized or blamed as kids - even in families we remember as loving or "normal."   What you'll learn in this episode You'll hear how one parent's story of snapping over a bike ride reveals deeper patterns rooted in unknown childhood trauma - growing up with a mother who yelled frequently in what she considered a "normal" household. We explore how seemingly typical childhoods involving walking on eggshells create adults who struggle with self-compassion and parenting triggers, even when they don't identify their experiences as traumatic.   Discover practical strategies for addressing unresolved childhood trauma in adults, including how to identify your movement and rest baselines, why self-compassion is crucial for breaking cycles of parenting anger, and how to recognize when you're thinking critical thoughts rather than accepting them as truth. You'll learn why meeting your basic needs isn't selfish when dealing with parenting triggers - it's essential for showing up as the parent you want to be.   We also address how unresolved trauma and parenting intersect,

Every parent knows that harsh inner voice that whispers "You're a terrible parent" when you lose your patience, or "You've ruined your kids forever" after a difficult moment. This episode reveals a simple "magic trick" that can instantly create space between you and those critical thoughts - and it's something anyone can learn.   Discover how one powerful phrase can transform your reactions from triggered explosions to curious responses. You'll learn where your inner critic actually comes from (hint: it's often an echo from your own childhood), and how reparenting yourself can break generational cycles of trauma.   This episode recaps the following episodes, giving you a lot of the benefit of 3 hours of content, in just 21 minutes: SYPM 017: Reparenting ourselves to create empathy in the world with Amy178: How to heal your inner critic193: You don't have to believe everything you think   Questions This Episode Will Answer What is the inner critic and how does it affect parenting? The inner critic is that harsh, judgmental voice that tells you you're failing as a parent. It often stems from childhood trauma and can trigger explosive reactions to normal child behavior.   Where does the inner critic come from? Your inner critic is usually an internalized version of critical voices from your childhood - parents, teachers, or caregivers who couldn't handle your authentic self or big emotions.   How do you identify your inner critic? Watch for thoughts using absolute language ("always," "never," "terrible"), character judgments ("I'm a bad parent"), catastrophic conclusions, and voices that sound like critical figures from your past.   What does reparenting yourself mean? Reparenting yourself means giving yourself the patience, understanding, and compassion you didn't receive as a child - becoming the caring parent to yourself that you needed growing up.   How do you reparent yourself as a parent? Start by questioning your thoughts instead of believing them automatically. When you notice self-critical thoughts, respond to yourself with the same gentleness you'd offer a dear friend or your own child.   How can you break the generational cycle of trauma? Use tools like the ‘magic trick’ from this episode to create space between your triggered reactions and conscious responses, allowing you to respond from your values instead of reacting from old wounds.   What are common inner critic examples parents experience? "Everyone thinks I'm a bad parent", "I'm raising a disrespectful child", "I've damaged my child forever", "Other parents are better than me", and "I'm just repeating my parents' mistakes".   How does childhood trauma affect parenting? Unresolved childhood trauma can make you react disproportionately to normal child behavior, shut down emotionally when children express big emotions, or swing between being too permissive and too strict.   What You'll Learn in This Episode The Simple ‘Magic Trick’ That Changes Everything Learn the exact phrase that instantly creates distance between you and your critical thoughts, giving you space to respond differently in challenging parenting moments.   Real Parent Examples of Transformation Hear Katie's story of how this technique helped her stop spiraling when her friend didn't...

Does your child's behavior sometimes trigger such an instant, overwhelming reaction that you find yourself yelling before you even realize what happened?   That moment when your jaw clenches, your shoulders tense, and suddenly you're saying things you wish you could take back? You're experiencing what millions of parents face daily - a nervous system response that happens faster than conscious thought.   This episode reveals the science behind why willpower alone isn't enough to stop yelling, and introduces you to specific, learnable skills that can transform how you respond to your child's most challenging moments.   You'll discover what's actually happening in your body during those triggered moments, why suppressing your anger isn't the answer, and how your emotional responses are teaching your child crucial lessons about handling life's difficulties.   Most importantly, you'll learn practical techniques that work in real parenting situations - not theoretical advice that falls apart when your preschooler has a meltdown in the grocery store.   This summary episode makes all the research from several much longer episodes available for time-strapped parents.  If you want to learn more, these episodes will help: 056: Beyond “You’re OK!”: Modeling Emotion Regulation082: Regulating emotions: What, When, & How129: The physical reasons you yell at your kids   Questions this episode will answer What is emotional regulation and why do parents struggle with it? Emotional regulation is monitoring, evaluating, and modifying emotional reactions to accomplish your parenting goals. Parents struggle because stress triggers happen faster than rational thought.   Why do I yell at my child even when I don't want to? Your sympathetic nervous system floods your body with stress hormones before your rational brain registers what's happening, making yelling an automatic response.   What are the best emotional regulation techniques for parents? Simple grounding techniques like conscious breathing, body awareness, and reappraisal strategies that work with your nervous system instead of against it.  When you use these techniques makes all the difference.   How do I stop yelling as a parent without suppressing my emotions? Learn to acknowledge your emotions while using grounding techniques to create space between your automatic reaction and your chosen response.   Does yelling at your child affect them long-term? Yes, children learn emotional regulation by watching how you handle intense moments. Your responses teach them whether emotions are safe or dangerous.   How can I improve my emotional regulation as a busy parent? Practice recognizing your body's early warning signals and use quick techniques like one conscious breath or muscle awareness throughout the day.  This will help your body to learn the skills when the stakes are lower, so they’ll be more accessible in the difficult moments.   What you'll learn in this episode You'll discover the biological reason why "just stay calm" doesn't work and why your body reacts to parenting stress the same way it responds to actual danger.   Learn to identify your personal early warning signals and how to use them as valuable information rather than problems to ignore.   Master simple grounding techniques that...

If you've been scrolling TikTok or parenting forums lately, you've probably encountered FAFO parenting - the trending approach that's being positioned as the antidote to ‘overly permissive’ gentle parenting. Standing for ‘F*** Around and Find Out,’ this parenting style centers on letting children experience harsh consequences without parental intervention, even when parents could easily prevent those consequences.   But is FAFO parenting actually effective, or does it create more problems than it solves? In this comprehensive episode, we explore what FAFO parenting really looks like in practice, examine the research behind popular parenting approaches, and uncover why both FAFO and traditional gentle parenting often miss the mark.   Most importantly, we'll discover collaborative alternatives that meet both children's developmental needs and parents' legitimate needs - without the exhaustion of scripted responses or the relationship damage of harsh consequences.   Questions this episode will answer What does FAFO parenting actually mean? FAFO stands for "F*** Around and Find Out" - an approach where parents let children experience unpleasant consequences without intervention, believing this teaches better decision-making.   What are real examples of FAFO parenting in action? Examples include letting a child walk home in the rain without a coat, throwing away toys left on the floor, and making children buy their own underwear after accidents.   Why is FAFO parenting gaining popularity among parents? Parents exhausted by gentle parenting scripts and constant negotiation are attracted to FAFO's apparent simplicity and the promise of teaching children through direct consequences.   What's the difference between consequences and punishments in parenting? Authentic consequences happen naturally (getting cold without a jacket), while punishments are artificially created by parents (throwing away toys, withholding food, or requiring that kids replace underwear they’ve soiled).   Does gentle parenting actually create "soft" children? Research doesn't support this claim. Most of what's called "gentle parenting" online is actually scripted control, and a fear of children’s big feelings, not truly responsive parenting.   Why might children lie more when parents use FAFO approaches? When honesty consistently leads to harsh consequences parents could prevent, children learn that hiding problems is safer than seeking help.   What really causes behavioral challenges in today's children? Multiple factors including increased academic pressure, reduced recess, economic stress, social media impact, and less community support - not parenting styles alone (or screen time alone either!).   Is authoritative parenting really the "gold standard" research proves? The original authoritative parenting research included spanking and only compared four control-based approaches, missing collaborative alternatives that work even better.   What you'll learn in this episode The hidden problems with FAFO parenting that can damage parent-child relationships: Discover how this approach can increase lying, reduce trust, and position parents as adversaries rather than allies in their children's development.   Why most "gentle parenting" isn't actually gentle: Learn how scripted validation and sweetener offers are really just "control with lipstick," and why this approach exhausts parents without meeting children's real needs.   The real reasons behind children's challenging behaviors: Understand the complex factors...

Ever wondered about alternative paths to educate your child outside the traditional school system? My guest today is Laura Moore, who spent 15 years in early childhood education - and who is now exploring homeschooling alternatives, including unschooling, for her own child.   As a teacher and mother of a 3.5-year-old, Laura brings a unique insider perspective to the education debate. She opens up about witnessing the limitations of the current school system, the pressure children face to conform to rigid schedules, and why she's questioning whether traditional schooling truly serves our children's best interests.   You'll hear a raw, honest conversation between two parents grappling with real concerns about education choices. Laura shares her genuine questions about balancing work with alternative education, handling judgment from others, and whether children can truly thrive outside the conventional system. Her curiosity about unschooling leads to fascinating insights about child-led learning, maintaining boundaries while honoring children's natural rhythms, and creating educational experiences that preserve rather than diminish curiosity.   Questions this episode will answer What is unschooling and how does it work?How is unschooling different from homeschooling?Can you homeschool while working full time?What are the pros and cons of homeschooling?How to get started with homeschooling?Is homeschooling better than traditional education?What are the advantages of homeschooling?What's wrong with the traditional education system?How do you handle judgment about homeschooling decisions?Do homeschooled children get into college?How do homeschooled children get socialization?What's the role of parents in unschooling?How do you balance work and alternative education as a family?What happens to children's natural curiosity in traditional school?   What you'll learn in this episode The insider perspective on traditional education's limitations: Hear firsthand from a teacher about the systemic issues affecting children's learning and wellbeing in conventional schools, including the impact of rigid scheduling and underfunding.   How unschooling preserves children's natural curiosity: Discover why traditional schooling often kills children's innate desire to learn and how alternative approaches can maintain and nurture this crucial trait throughout childhood.   Practical strategies for balancing work and alternative education: Learn how to homeschool while working full time, including realistic approaches for working parents, flexible scheduling, community programs, and family support systems.   Discover the advantages and disadvantages of homeschooling: Get a comprehensive overview of homeschooling pros and cons compared to traditional education, and develop a practical homeschooling plan for families considering alternatives.   The truth about socialization in homeschooling: Understand how homeschooled children actually develop social skills and why the diversity of real-world interactions often surpasses traditional classroom socialization.   How to handle family and social pressure about education choices: Get specific strategies for responding to criticism and judgment while staying true to your family's values and educational philosophy.   Real examples of learning without formal curriculum: See how everyday activities like volunteering at animal shelters, helping with household tasks, and following natural interests create rich learning opportunities.   The college and career reality for unschooled children: Learn about the...

When Sara's four-year-old son started asking permission to use art supplies he'd always freely accessed before, she knew something had shifted. After a year in a (loving, high-quality!) preschool, her previously autonomous child was suddenly seeking approval for things that had never required it. Sara had never required this at home, and in fact it worried her because it didn't fit with her values to treat her son as a whole person.   If this shift was happening so obviously at home, what other changes might be occurring that she couldn't see yet - changes that might not align with what mattered most to her family?   Sara wished she could homeschool, but knew it wasn't in the cards. Seeing the shift in her son showed her that once her son started formal school, she was going to be the one who helped him to stay connected to learning that wasn't just based on rote memorization.   But how would she do this, when she wasn't a teacher?   In this conversation, Sara shares how she learned to step back from teaching and instead scaffold her son's innate curiosity about everything from astronauts to construction vehicles. As an architect and immigrant parent navigating cultural pressures around achievement, Sara's story reveals how supporting your child's interests rather than directing their learning can transform both your relationship and their confidence as a learner.   Whether you're working full-time, in school, homeschooling, or simply wondering how to nurture your child's curiosity without taking over, Sara's practical examples show that interest-based learning doesn't have to add a lot of work to busy family life. It becomes an organic part of how you connect and explore the world together.   Questions this episode will answer What does interest-based learning look like in real family life?How can parents support learning without taking over their child's exploration?What is scaffolding in education and how do you do it effectively?How do you identify and follow your child's genuine interests?What are learning explorations and how do they differ from traditional teaching?How can working parents implement interest-led learning with limited time?What role should documentation play in supporting children's learning?How do you overcome perfectionism when supporting your child's education?What does "following the child" mean in practice?How can parents build their child's creative problem-solving skills?   What you'll learn in this episode You'll discover practical strategies for supporting your child's innate curiosity without turning into the teacher. Sara shares specific examples of learning explorations around space and construction vehicles that show how to scaffold learning by asking questions instead of providing answers.   You'll learn to recognize when your child is truly engaged versus when you've taken over their exploration. The episode reveals how small shifts in language - things like pausing and saying: "Hmmm…I wonder?" instead of immediately explaining - can transform everyday moments into meaningful learning opportunities.   This simple shift transitions the responsibility for learning from you back to your child, and invites them to consider how their current question fits with what they already know.   It also establishes a habit of what we do when we have questions: we don't simply jump to Google or ChatGPT; we first work to understand whether we might actually already have the answer (or something close to it) ourselves. This protects our kids against the stupidification that research warns us is happening now that we can turn to AI to answer our every question.   Sara's journey from perfectionist parent (her parents' motto when she was a child: "Be The Best!") to

What if the most powerful gift you could give your child isn't a college fund, but the skills to create their own income at age 10? When my daughter Carys started pet sitting, she didn't just earn money (although she does now have $759 in a retirement savings account that could become over $100,000 by the time she needs it).   She’s also developing initiative, follow-through, boundary setting, and client communication skills that many adults find difficult.   This episode reveals why ages 8-12 represent a unique window for developing real-world capabilities through meaningful work. You'll discover how kid businesses naturally teach the life skills parents spend years trying to instill through chores and consequences, from morning routines and organization to persistence with difficult tasks and clear communication about capacity and needs.   You’ll learn the practical details of supporting a young entrepreneur without taking over, addressing common concerns about safety, childhood, and academic pressure while showing how business skills actually enhance learning and development. Questions this episode will answer: What age should kids start a business and why? Ages 8-12 are ideal because kids can handle real responsibility but aren't overwhelmed by teenage social pressures, plus adults are more patient and supportive with young entrepreneurs.   What business skills can young kids actually develop? Taking initiative, following through on commitments, organization, client communication, boundary setting, persistence through challenges, financial planning, and so much more: all skills that develop through real work.   How do you support a kid's business without taking over? Be a "guide on the side" by asking questions instead of giving answers, stepping in only when they hit capacity limits, and letting them learn from manageable failures.   What types of businesses work best for kids this age? Service-based businesses with low startup costs that match kid strengths: think pet care, yard work, parent's helper babysitting, simple crafts, tech support for seniors, and tutoring younger kids.   Is starting a business safe for young children? Yes, with proper systems: initial parent involvement, communication protocols, schedule awareness, and safety equipment like walkie-talkies for new situations.   How is this different from traditional chores and allowance? Kid businesses create direct feedback loops between work quality and real consequences, plus children choose their involvement level rather than having tasks imposed on them.   What about their education and childhood play time? Business

Are you worried that social media is destroying your teen's mental health? You're not alone. Jonathan Haidt's bestselling book The Anxious Generation has parents everywhere wondering if smartphones are rewiring their kids' brains and creating a mental health crisis. But before you rush to ban your teen's phone, you need to hear what the research actually shows.   This summary episode brings together all the key insights from our 4-part series examining The Anxious Generation. We take a deep dive into the data behind the teen mental health crisis claims, giving you the essential findings in one convenient episode. You'll discover why those alarming statistics might not mean what you think they do, and why the correlation between social media use and teen depression is actually smaller than the correlation between eating potatoes and teen wellbeing.   We'll explore what really drives teen mental health struggles, from family relationships to academic pressure, and why control-based approaches like phone bans often backfire, pushing our kids further away when they need us most.   Questions This Episode Will Answer Is there really a teen mental health crisis caused by social media? The dramatic statistics may reflect better screening and diagnosis rather than new cases caused by technology.   Does social media actually cause teen depression and anxiety? Research shows the correlation is smaller than that between eating potatoes and teen wellbeing, explaining less than 1% of variance.   Should parents ban phones at school to help kids focus? Academic declines are tiny and international data doesn't support the phone-blame theory.   Will banning my teen's phone at home solve their mental health problems? Control-based approaches often backfire and damage the parent-child relationship.   What affects teen mental health more than social media? Family relationships, academic pressure, sleep, economic stress, and school environment have much bigger impacts.   How can I help my teen with technology without taking it away? Focus on connection, listen more, work together on limits, and address bigger stressors.   Why do teens turn to their phones so much? Phones provide autonomy, connection, and relevance that teens often don't find elsewhere.   What do teens who self-harm actually say about social media? Many feel frustrated by attempts to blame social media and see the narrative as wrong and unhelpful.   How can I create healthy technology habits without damaging trust? Include your teen in creating rules, focus on relationship building, and address underlying needs.   What should I do if I'm worried about my teen's phone use? Look at the whole picture, build connections through listening, and work together on solutions.   What You'll Learn in This Episode Why the "hockey stick" graphs showing teen mental health decline might be misleading, and what factors like better screening and diagnostic changes actually explainThe surprising truth about social media research - including why studies showing harm have major flaws and why effect sizes are incredibly smallWhat the international data really shows about teen mental health across countries with similar smartphone adoption ratesWhy family relationships, not screen time, are the strongest predictor of teen wellbeing according to emergency room dataHow control-based approaches like phone bans create sneaking, secrecy, and damaged trust instead of healthier habitsThe real reasons teens turn to phones - and how to address underlying needs for autonomy, connection, and...

In Part 1, we looked at the evidence for the teen 'mental health crisis.'   In Part 2, we reviewed the evidence for whether social media is causing the so-called 'teen mental health crisis.   In Part 3, we began looking at what to do about the effects of phones on kids - starting with school cell phone bans.   If you've read The Anxious Generation or heard about Dr. Jean Twenge's forthcoming book 10 Rules for Raising Kids in a High-Tech World, you might be wondering whether it's time to implement strict family phone rules and teenage social media limits in your home. These digital parenting experts promise clear solutions: you're in charge, no phones in bedrooms, no social media until 16. But what happens when these teenage phone rules meet the reality of family life?   In this final episode of our Anxious Generation series, we explore why traditional approaches to limit social media time often backfire spectacularly - and what effective digital parenting looks like instead. You'll discover why rigid teenage mobile phone rules can actually push kids further away from you, how punishment-based approaches to social media teens mirror the failed DARE program, and why the child who follows rules perfectly at home might be the one taking bigger risks when they're finally on their own. We'll also share practical, relationship-based alternatives that help you address real concerns about teenage social media use while building trust and connection with your child.   Questions this episode will answer How do you set social media limits with your teen? Focus on collaborative conversations about how technology affects them, rather than imposing rigid teenage social media limits without their input.   Should social media be limited for teens? Blanket restrictions often backfire; effective digital parenting involves understanding individual needs and working together on healthy boundaries.   How to limit cellphone use for teenager without damaging trust? Use connection-first approaches that explore their experiences rather than immediately jumping to restrictive family phone rules.   How much time should a teenager spend on their phone? The answer varies by individual; focus on how social media affects your teen rather than arbitrary time limits.   How to stop teenage phone addiction using collaborative methods? Address underlying needs that drive excessive use while maintaining open dialogue about concerning content and working together on solutions.   Why is it important for parents to guide children on the internet? Teens internet safety requires ongoing conversation and support, not just restrictions, to help them navigate digital challenges independently.   Should parents have control over their child's social media? Effective parenting social media approaches balance safety concerns with respecting teens' growing autonomy and need for peer connection.   What you'll learn in this episode Why traditional family phone rules and "you're in charge" digital parenting approaches often strengthen the very behaviors you're trying to...

This is the third in our series of episodes on Jonathan Haidt's book The Anxious Generation.   In Part 1, we looked at the evidence for the teen 'mental health crisis.'   In Part 2, we reviewed the evidence for whether social media is causing the so-called 'teen mental health crisis.   In this episode, we begin looking at what to do about the effects of phones on kids - starting with school cell phone bans.   Phone bans are spreading like wildfire across America, with 21 states either studying or already enforcing restrictions, up from none just a few years ago. But before you advocate for - or against - a ban at your child's school, you need to hear what the research actually reveals. This episode examines real studies from Denmark, England, and Hungary, plus the eye-opening results from schools using those tamper-proof Yonder pouches that promise to solve everything.   You'll discover why the "golden age" of unsupervised childhood play that experts want us to return to wasn't actually golden for most kids. More importantly, you'll learn what's really driving students to their phones: unmet needs for choice, agency, and genuine connection. Through a fascinating deep-dive into one teacher's blog post about his school's phone ban, you'll see how current approaches may be missing the point entirely, and what students themselves say would actually help them engage more in school.   Which states are banning cell phones in schools? 21 states are currently studying or have already enforced cell phone bans, including Florida, Louisiana, Virginia, Indiana, Oklahoma, North Dakota, and New York.   Are cell phone bans in schools effective for improving academic performance? Research shows mixed results with only tiny improvements on test scores, and most studies don't control for other factors that could explain the changes.   Does banning phones in school improve students' mental health? Studies from multiple countries found no significant improvements in student anxiety, depression, or overall wellbeing from cell phone restrictions.   Are cell phone bans in schools a good idea? The evidence suggests that school cell phone bans address symptoms rather than root causes - students turn to phones because their needs for autonomy and connection aren't being met.   What happens when schools try to enforce cell phones being banned in schools? Students find creative workarounds: stabbing through security pouches, buying unlock magnets, bringing decoy phones, and creating underground phone-sharing economies.   Why do students want their phones during school hours? Research shows students use phones to meet basic psychological needs for choice, agency, and genuine connection that traditional classrooms often fail to provide.   What you'll learn in this episode The real data on school cell phone ban effectiveness - examining studies from Denmark, England, Hungary, and the U.S. that reveal surprising results about academic and mental health outcomes Which states are leading the cell phone ban movement - a breakdown of the 21 states implementing or studying restrictions, from Florida's pioneering ban to New York's upcoming policies Why current approaches to cell phones being banned in schools may backfire - discover how students circumvent Yondr pouches and other enforcement methods, and what this reveals about their...

In Part 1 of this mini-series looking at Jonathan Haidt's book The Anxious Generation, we discovered that the teen mental health crisis might not be as dramatic as The Anxious Generation claims - and that changes in diagnosis and coding could be inflating the numbers. But even if we accept that teens' struggles have increased somewhat, the next crucial question is: what's actually causing the change? Jonathan Haidt is adamant that social media causes depression and anxiety in teenagers. He claims that "dozens of experiments" prove social media use is a CAUSE, not just a correlate, of mental health problems. But when you dig into the studies, as we do in this episode, we'll see that the 'causal' data is nowhere near as strong as Haidt claims. We'll examine the experimental evidence behind social media and teen mental health claims, reveal why leading researchers compare social media effects on teens to eating potatoes, and uncover what factors actually explain 99% of youth mental health outcomes. Because if we're going to spend time and energy helping our kids, we want to make sure we're spending it doing things that will actually help. Questions This Episode Will AnswerDoes social media really cause teen depression and anxiety? Research shows correlation, not proven causation, with social media effects on teens explaining less than 1% of wellbeing, similar to the effect of eating potatoes. (Some researchers argue that this is still important enough to pay attention to - the episode explores why.) Why do I keep hearing that social media is harmful if the research is weak? Many (but not all) social media studies find some evidence of harm, but when you look at the methodology this isn't surprising - researchers do things like sending participants daily reminders that "limiting social media is good for you," and then asking them how much social media they've consumed and how they feel. It's hard to draw strong conclusions from this data! How can different studies on social media show opposite results? Researchers studying teen social media use can get completely different results from the same data depending on how they choose to analyze it. The episode looks at those choices and what they mean for understanding whether social media causes kids' depression and anxiety. Is limiting my teen's social media use actually going to help them? Current evidence suggests that some kids who use social media a lot are vulnerable to experiencing depression and anxiety, and limiting their use specifically may be protective. There is little evidence to support the idea that blanket bans on kids' social media/smart phone usage will result in dramatic improvements in youth mental health, and focusing on issues that are more clearly connected to mental health would likely have a greater positive impact. What You'll Learn in This Episode How most social media research creates results that don't tell us what we want to know (but then reports the results as if they do) How the same teen mental health data can be analyzed to support opposite conclusions about social media effects on teens What family relationships, academic pressure, and economic stress reveal about the real drivers of youth mental health issues How social media and teen mental health correlations explain the same amount

Are we really facing an unprecedented mental health crisis in America, or have we been misreading the data? As parents everywhere grapple with The Anxious Generation's claims that smartphones are rewiring our children's brains, this episode takes a closer look at what the research actually shows about youth mental health trends.   If you've read the book, you've seen those alarming hockey-stick graphs showing dramatic increases in teen depression and anxiety in teenagers. But what if those "surges" aren't quite what they seem? What if changes in how we diagnose and track mental health conditions are inflating the crisis? And what happens when a community with everything that should protect kids - tight social bonds, involved parents, shared values - still experiences devastating teen suicide rates?   This deep-dive analysis examines the evidence behind Gen Z mental health claims, investigates whether youth depression statistics show the dramatic surge described in The Anxious Generation, and asks the crucial question: are we fighting the right battle when it comes to protecting our children's wellbeing?   Questions This Episode Will Answer Is there really a mental health crisis in America? While youth mental health challenges are real, the "crisis" narrative may be overblown due to changes in diagnostic practices and data collection methods since 2010.   When did the mental health crisis start according to The Anxious Generation? Haidt claims the crisis began between 2010-2015 with smartphone adoption, but the data shows more complex patterns that predate this timeline.   What are the signs of youth depression and anxiety that parents should watch for? The episode explores how reported signs of youth depression and anxiety have increased, but examines whether this reflects actual increases or better identification and reporting. We look at the classic signs of depression and anxiety in teens, as well as what to look for in teens who might 'seem fine.'   How many teens have mental health issues compared to previous generations? Teen mental health statistics show increases, but when examined closely, many changes are smaller than dramatic graphs suggest.   What causes anxiety in teenagers beyond social media? Research shows that other factors may explain larger portions of youth mental health struggles than screen time.   What You'll Learn in This Episode How changes in diagnostic criteria and healthcare access may have inflated mental health crisis statistics since 2015Why teen suicide rates show different patterns than depression rates, and what this means for understanding youth strugglesThe real story behind those alarming youth depression statistics and why context matters when interpreting dataHow academic pressure in high-achieving communities can drive teen mental health problems even without social mediaWhy focusing solely on anxiety in teenagers related to screens might miss bigger factors affecting Gen Z mental healthWhat signs of youth depression actually tell us about the scope and causes of teen mental health challengesHow different communities experience and conceptualize mental health struggles in ways that challenge universal assumptionsWhy the timeline of the supposed mental health crisis in the U.S. and elsewhere doesn't align with smartphone adoption as clearly as The Anxious Generation claims   Dr. Jonathan Haidt's Book The Anxious Generation: How the Great Rewiring of Childhood is Causing an Epidemic of Mental Illness (Affiliate link)   Jump to highlights 00:53 Introduction of today’s episode 01:18 What is

  Do you ever feel like your parenting is completely off track from where you want it to be? You promise yourself you won't yell, then find yourself yelling at your kids before breakfast.   You intend to be patient and present, but end up getting distracted by your phone, or snapping at your child. This disconnect between your parenting intentions and reality can leave you feeling guilty, ashamed, and afraid that you're passing on intergenerational trauma despite your best efforts.   In this episode, we reveal the origins of our harsh inner critic and how cultural expectations set parents up for struggle. You'll discover practical reparenting techniques, step-by-step self-compassion exercises, and how recognizing your emotional triggers can transform your parenting journey.   This isn't about perfect parenting - it's about healing your own childhood wounds through a process called reparenting, so you can break intergenerational patterns and build the connection with your child you've always wanted.   Questions This Episode Will Answer How can I identify and manage my emotional triggers in parenting? Emotional triggers often originate from unhealed childhood experiences. Notice when you have outsized reactions to your child's behavior—these point to areas needing healing. The episode offers a self-compassion exercise to help you treat yourself with the same kindness that you treat others. Creating space between trigger and reaction allows you to respond intentionally rather than reactively.   How does my inner critic affect my ability to parent effectively? Your inner critic—which is often a voice of your parent/caregiver—triggers shame spirals that make it harder to parent effectively. It damages your relationship with yourself and teaches your children to develop their own harsh inner critics. Through reparenting, you can recognize this voice isn't truly yours, but one you absorbed from your environment. Learning to quiet this voice creates space for authentic connection with your child and breaks intergenerational trauma patterns.   What is reparenting and how can it help my relationship with my child? Reparenting is giving yourself what your parents couldn't provide during your childhood. It involves a five-step process: becoming aware of your patterns, accepting them without judgment, validating your childhood experiences, reframing your beliefs, and taking action to reinforce new patterns. When you heal your own emotional wounds through reparenting, you become more capable of meeting your child's needs without being triggered.   How do I break intergenerational trauma patterns in my parenting? Breaking intergenerational trauma starts with awareness of the patterns you inherited. Practice self-compassion exercises when triggered rather than self-criticism. Use the reparenting process to heal your own childhood wounds. Find supportive community to help you recognize when old patterns emerge. Each time you respond differently to your child than your parents did to you, you're disrupting the cycle of intergenerational trauma.   Can self-compassion exercises really help when I'm triggered with my kids? Yes, self-compassion exercises are powerful tools for managing parenting triggers. Dr. Susan Pollak's three-step self-compassion exercise can create the mental space needed to respond differently: acknowledge the difficulty ("This is hard"), remember your common humanity ("Other parents struggle with this too"), and offer yourself kindness ("What do I need right now?"). Regular practice builds your capacity to access self-compassion even in intense trigger moments.   What You'll Learn in This Episode How to identify your emotional triggers in parenting and their connection to...

  Are you tired of facing family challenges alone? In this powerful episode, we witness the transformative journey of two parents who discovered that joining a parenting support group can change everything at home.   Parenting wasn't meant to be a solo journey. When sleep deprivation, communication struggles with partners, and children's big emotions become overwhelming family challenges, the right parenting support group makes all the difference. This episode shows how connecting with a supportive parenting community helped transform 45-minute tantrums into 10-minute conversations, restore sleep after years of exhaustion, and address family communication challenges in ways that parenting books alone never could.   Now, more than ever, we need each other. In this re-released episode from two years ago, you'll hear authentic stories that will inspire you to find your own parenting support group and experience the profound changes that happen when parents help each other overcome family challenges.   Questions This Episode Will Answer How can I find a parenting support group when I don't have family nearby? Distance from extended family doesn't mean you must face family challenges alone. This episode demonstrates how intentional parenting support groups can provide even more targeted help than your actual family. You'll learn how to connect with parents who share your values and family challenges, not just parents who happen to live close to you. These parenting support groups create meaningful connections that provide practical help, emotional support, and accountability.   How do I find a parenting support group with members who won't judge me? Finding non-judgmental parenting support begins with seeking communities built on mutual understanding rather than competition. This episode shows how specialized parenting support groups create safe spaces where you can share family challenges honestly - even showing up in tears or looking completely exhausted - without fear of judgment.   Can a parenting support group really help with my child's emotional outbursts? Yes! When parents learn tools like radical listening through supportive parenting groups, children's emotional regulation challenges improve dramatically. This episode demonstrates how one parent reduced tantrum duration from 45 minutes to just 10 minutes by applying techniques learned in her parenting support group.   How do I balance everyone's needs when family challenges leave me exhausted? Meeting everyone's needs begins with recognizing your own. This episode reveals how a parenting support group provides permission to prioritize self-care (especially sleep) as the foundation for better addressing your family challenges, including your children's and partner's needs.   Can a parenting support group help with partner communication challenges? Absolutely. You'll hear how a parenting support group helped identify and address difficult family communication patterns where one partner was agreeing to things they didn't want just to end discussions. Now the partners have an effective framework for honestly communicating about family challenges and needs.   What's more valuable for addressing family challenges - parenting courses or a parenting support group? While quality parenting information matters, this episode reveals how the combination of both creates the most powerful approach to family challenges. You'll hear how structured parenting support groups help you actually implement tools you learn, rather than just collecting more information about family challenges.   What You'll Learn in This Episode Practical ways to find and build your own parenting support group How parenting support groups transform...

 Most parents believe praise is an essential tool for raising confident, well-behaved children. We've been told to "catch them being good" and "focus on the positive." But what if our well-intentioned praise is actually functioning as a subtle form of control? What if praise isn't just celebrating who our children are, but secretly shaping them into who we—or society—want them to become? In this episode, we'll examine how praise affects children's self-concept, motivation, and behavior. We'll explore research on praise's effects, reflect on our own experiences with praise growing up, and draw on philosophical ideas to understand praise as a tool of power that teaches children to internalize social norms and regulate their own behavior. We'll also learn new tools to create more authentic relationships with our children and helping them develop true autonomy. Click here to download the list of 55 Ways to Support, Encourage, and Celebrate Your Child Without PraiseIs praise harmful to children?Praise can function as a form of control, establishing a conditional relationship where your approval depends on your child's actions. The underlying message becomes: "I'm excited about you when you do what I want." This contradicts what children need to flourish: unconditional love and acceptance for who they are, not what they do. What's the difference between praise and appreciation?Praise is evaluative language that judges a person's actions or character as "good" or "bad." Appreciation focuses on the impact someone's actions had on you personally. For example, instead of "good job setting the table," try "Thank you for setting the table—I really appreciate not having to do it myself." Does praise help motivate children?Research on praise's effects is mixed. Some studies suggest rewards undermine intrinsic motivation, while others indicate they can help establish habits. The more important question isn't whether praise works to change behavior in the short term, but what it teaches children about themselves and their worth in the long term. How does praise affect a child's development?Praise can create dependency on external validation. Many adults who received substantial praise as children become reluctant to attempt things they aren't already good at for fear of not receiving praise or worse, receiving criticism. This is often where perfectionism emerges—not from high standards but from fear that without perfection, they won't be valued or loved. What You'll Learn in This EpisodeYou'll discover what praise actually is and recognize when you might be praising your child without realizing it. Praise includes evaluative language like "good job," "you're so smart," or "I'm proud of you," and is typically given with the intention of encouraging children to repeat behaviors. You'll explore how praise functions as more than just emotional encouragement—it operates as a form of social control. When we praise children for certain behaviors, we're teaching them what society values and expects, defining what's "normal" and desirable. You'll understand how children internalize our surveillance through praise. They begin monitoring themselves according to external standards rather than developing their own internal value system. You'll learn practical alternatives to praise, including genuine appreciation that acknowledges specific actions and their impact, curiosity about your child's experiences and perspectives, and...

  Is your child's refusal to listen driving you CRAZY? You're not alone! In this transformative episode, mom-of-three Chrystal reveals how she went from constant power struggles to peaceful cooperation without sacrificing authority. Discover the exact approach that works when "because I said so" fails. Stop the exhausting battles TODAY and create the respectful relationship you've always wanted with your child.   Questions This Episode Will Answer: Why won't my child listen to me? Children resist when their needs aren't being met. Understanding what's beneath the "not listening" transforms power struggles into opportunities for connection and cooperation.   How do I get my child to listen without threatening or bribing? Focus on identifying both your needs and your child's needs, then problem-solve together to find solutions that work for everyone. This creates willing cooperation rather than reluctant compliance.   Will my child ever listen the first time I ask? Yes! When children know that you'll try to meet their needs as well as your own, they become MUCH more willing to collaborate with you. The path to first-time listening isn't through control but through connection.   Am I creating an entitled child by not demanding immediate compliance? Actually, the opposite is true. Children raised with respectful problem-solving develop stronger empathy, better boundary recognition, and more social skills than those raised with strict obedience requirements.   How do I handle emergencies when I need immediate compliance? Create a foundation of trust by respecting autonomy in non-emergency situations. When true emergencies arise, children who trust you will respond to your urgency because they know you don't overuse your authority.   What You'll Learn In This Episode: The powerful shift from control-based parenting to needs-based problem-solving Why resistance is a signal that needs attention, not defiance that needs punishment How to identify your real non-negotiables versus situations where flexibility serves everyone Practical examples of problem-solving conversations that create willing cooperation The critical difference between limits (changing someone's behavior) and boundaries (what you're willing to do) How to teach children about healthy boundaries by respecting theirs Why "stop means stop" and "no means no" are essential teachings (and how to get your child to respect your 'stop' and 'no') How to recognize when you're getting triggered by your child's "not listening" The surprising truth about how respectful parenting creates more socially capable children Why one intentional parent can make all the difference, even without perfect partner alignment   If you're thinking "but my child NEEDS to learn to listen," this episode directly addresses how this approach creates MORE compliance in situations that truly matter.   Ready to transform your daily battles into peaceful cooperation? Take the next step in our Setting Loving and Effective Limits workshop. Click the image below to sign up.     Jump to highlights 00:45 Introduction of today’s episode 02:00 An open invitation to join the Setting Loving (& Effective!) Limits workshop 06:12 Chrystal’s experience in the Setting Loving (&Effective!) Limits workshop 07:46 Saying NO to our child isn’t necessarily the right answer 08:48 Challenges that Chrystal had as someone who was brought up in a religious family 11:44 How resilience will play a big role in our children 13:10 Chrystal’s transition from being controlled to having...

  Is gentle parenting just permissive parenting in disguise? This episode reveals a powerful framework for meeting both your needs and your child's, creating cooperation without sacrificing connection.   Is gentle parenting the same as permissive parenting? No, gentle parenting is not the same as permissive parenting. Gentle parenting focuses on meeting both the child's and the parent's needs with respect and empathy. Permissive parenting prioritizes the child's desires without setting appropriate boundaries or considering the parent's needs. Parents can be gentle without being permissive by understanding and meeting their own needs, as well as their child's needs.   Why don't logical consequences and offering limited choices always work? Logical consequences and offering limited choices don't always work because they are often strategies to control a child's behavior rather than addressing the underlying needs driving that behavior. When a child is acting out, they may be seeking connection, autonomy, or have other unmet needs. Logical consequences and choices don't meet these needs, so the behavior continues.   How can I set effective limits without sliding into permissiveness? To set effective limits without becoming permissive, understand that your needs matter just as much as your child's. Identify the underlying need you're currently trying to meet with a limit, and identify strategies that honor both your needs and your child's. This prevents you from prioritizing the child's desires while neglecting your own needs, which is characteristic of permissive parenting.   What's the difference between a natural consequence and a logical consequence? A natural consequence is what naturally occurs as a result of an action such as touching a hot stove and getting burned. A logical consequence is an action that a parent takes as a result of an action, such as taking away screen time because a child didn't do what they were told.   How can I meet both my needs and my child's needs in challenging situations? Meeting both your needs and your child's needs starts with identifying the underlying needs driving the behavior in challenging situations. If a child is stalling at bedtime, they may need connection. A parent can meet this need by spending time with the child before bed, reading an extra book, or engaging in a quiet activity together. This could the child's need for connection, while also meeting the parent's need for the child to go to bed at a reasonable time.   What's the underlying cause of my child's resistance to everyday routines? The underlying cause of a child's resistance to everyday routines is often an unmet need. For example, resistance to putting on shoes may stem from a need for autonomy (if the child wants to do it themselves), or connection (if they want you to do it for them). By recognizing the need, you can find ways to involve the child in the process, such as letting them choose which shoes to wear, giving them a sense of control and making the routine more cooperative.   Is there an alternative to the four traditional parenting styles? Yes, there are alternatives to the four traditional parenting styles (neglectful, authoritarian, permissive, and authoritative). Dr. Diana Baumrind, who created the styles, also found a 'harmonious' method where parents consider the child's ideas as just as important as their own, which sounds a lot like Gentle Parenting - but she decided not to research it further!   What you'll learn in this episode In this episode, we challenge the common misconception that gentle, respectful parenting is the same as permissive parenting.