Your Relationshift

As Rosh Hashanah approaches, co-hosts Hindi Kalmenson and Chayale Tzukernik dive deep into the core relationships that shape our connection with Hashem—king and subject, parent and child, and husband and wife. Through the lens of Chassidus and their own lived experiences, they explore the theme of surrender, focusing especially on the idea of Hashem as our King. Drawing on powerful imagery from the lives of Dovid HaMelech and Shaul HaMelech, they reflect on how awe, humility, and trust are essential ingredients for entering the New Year with clarity and purpose. The discussion also touches on the deeper emotional and somatic practices that can help us internalize these spiritual concepts—like bowing in prayer or opening our hands in tefillah—as ways of embodying surrender and acceptance.In a world preoccupied with self-definition and control, this conversation brings a refreshing shift: embracing the freedom and peace that comes from letting go and trusting fully in Hashem. The co-hosts reflect on how Rosh Hashanah is a time not just for teshuvah or repair, but for affirming the most essential relationship of all—our identity as part of Hashem. With themes of divine design, feminine identity, and emotional surrender threaded throughout, this episode offers a soulful roadmap for preparing your mind and heart for the Yamim Noraim. Whether you're feeling spiritually ready or emotionally distant, this heartfelt discussion will help you realign and reconnect with the deeper meaning of the High Holidays.

Chayale sits down with her sister-in-law and fellow educator Mushka Kesselman as an exclusive RelationShift interview to explore the complex dynamic that arises when spouses are not aligned in their religious or Chassidic values. Drawing from her own experience as a teacher and coach, Mushka shares powerful principles that help women navigate the pain and confusion of spiritual disconnect in marriage — without judgment, blame, or pressure. The conversation emphasizes the importance of emotional space, self-responsibility, and the transformative impact of focusing on one’s own joy and connection in Yiddishkeit.Together, they delve into what it really means to support a spouse without controlling them, how Shalom Bayis is not just a value but a Torah mandate, and why honoring each other’s spiritual autonomy creates room for true connection and growth. With relatable examples, including how to handle Pesach standards or fears around chinuch when values differ, this episode offers both clarity and comfort to anyone feeling spiritually alone in their marriage. Whether you're in that space yourself or supporting someone who is, this conversation is an empowering reminder that peace, love, and divine purpose are still fully possible — even when you're not on the same page.

In this special bonus episode of Your Relationshift, we’re invited into the heart of Chayale Tzukernik’s “Dating for Success” workshop, where guest speaker Hindi Kalmenson delivers an intimate, powerful session titled “How to Glow from Within.” This solo workshop, offered as part of Chayale’s transformative four-week dating course, dives into the inner work that enables women to show up to relationships with confidence, openness, and a deep connection to their essential selves. Hindi gently unpacks the internal barriers many women encounter while dating, such as fear, defensiveness, or self-doubt, and reframes them as coping mechanisms rooted in beliefs that no longer serve us. Through vivid examples, she demonstrates how self-awareness and belief work can lead to more feminine, receptive energy in relationships, helping women create genuine connection.At the heart of the conversation are two divine attributes from Chassidic teachings: Malchus (royalty) and Hod (splendor/humility), which Hindi translates into a practical blueprint for embodying inner dignity and joyful vulnerability. She encourages listeners to explore their essential wholeness and align with what truly brings them joy, reminding us that femininity is not just about how we look but about the energy we carry. Whether it’s receiving a compliment with grace, allowing someone to help with your suitcase, or expressing your desires without shame, each moment becomes an opportunity to live from a place of strength and softness. Hindi offers real-world tools for accessing these qualities: contemplating your soul’s inherent worth, identifying your inner resources, and practicing self-affirming thoughts to counter old narratives.Throughout the session, listeners are gently called to embody the kind of feminine energy that doesn’t need to be earned or performed; it’s already within. With occasional banter and supportive reflection from Chayale, the episode offers a masterclass in showing up to dating (and life) with grace, confidence, and spiritual alignment. Whether you're navigating the world of dating or simply seeking to deepen your self-worth, this episode offers a roadmap to becoming more open, receptive, and radiant, inside and out.

In this special episode of the Your Relationshift podcast, Hindi Kalmenson sits down with Menucha Schochet, a beloved teacher of Chassidus, high school educator, and fellow Relationshift coach. Together, they explore the powerful intersection between Tanya study and relationship coaching, uncovering how the principles of Chassidus enhance personal growth and connection. Menucha shares her journey from being a passionate teacher of Tanya to discovering how concepts like respect, compassion, and divine design profoundly deepen both her relationships with others and her service to Hashem. Through heartfelt reflections, she explains how learning to truly “see” another person, hold space without judgment, and embrace life’s challenges as part of Hashem’s loving design transforms not only our relationships but our inner world.Listeners will be inspired by Menucha’s vivid storytelling, including her favorite medrashim, personal teaching experiences, and insights from coaching sessions. She highlights the transformative power of concepts like yirah (respect and awe), rachamim (compassion), and authentic ownership, showing how these principles create deeper connection in marriage, with students, and in one’s spiritual journey. With warmth, humor, and vulnerability, this conversation offers practical wisdom for embracing life’s “jagged stones,” uncovering hidden treasures in our struggles, and ultimately building a more joyful and authentic relationship with Hashem and the people we love.

In this deeply resonant episode of Your Relationshift, co-hosts Hindi Kalmenson and Chayale Tzukernik explore the complex and often misunderstood concept of boundaries—reframing it through the lens of Torah values and feminine energy. Rather than viewing boundaries as defensive walls built from fear or control, they invite listeners to consider a more empowering perspective: creating a clear, internal structure rooted in self-knowledge and essential value. Through relatable anecdotes, parenting moments, and examples from Torah and Halacha, Hindi and Chayale show how true “boundaries” come from clarity—knowing who you are, what you want, and what your values are.The conversation highlights how orienting around Hashem as the true center of our existence allows us to step into our rightful place with confidence and humility. Whether discussing people-pleasing, motherhood, marriage, or the fear of being taken advantage of, the hosts guide listeners back to ownership, honesty, and abundance. If you've ever struggled to define your space or feared that honoring your own needs makes you selfish, this episode offers a powerful shift—from managing others to deeply knowing and embodying yourself.

In this heartfelt and eye-opening episode of Your Relationshift, co-hosts Hindi Kalmenson and Chayale Tzukernik take a deep dive into the realities of Shana Rishona—the first year of marriage. Drawing from personal experiences, client stories, and Torah wisdom, they explore the emotional spectrum that newlyweds often face, from blissful connection to unexpected struggle. Hindi and Chayale unpack the complexity of adjusting to a new partner, the vulnerability of building trust from scratch, and the silent pressure many women feel to present a picture-perfect start to married life—even when the inside reality feels confusing and isolating.The conversation also touches on deeply relatable themes like comparison, fear, and the unspoken anxiety around fertility timelines, highlighting how these internal tensions can amplify during the earliest stages of marriage. With warmth and honesty, Hindi and Chayale remind listeners that beginnings are objectively hard—as the Torah teaches—and that every couple’s journey is uniquely theirs. This episode is a powerful validation for anyone navigating the complexities of Shana Rishona, offering clarity, compassion, and a reminder that growth often starts in discomfort.

In this profound and honest episode of Your Relationshift, co-hosts Hindi Kalmenson and Chayale Tzukernik explore the heavy and often hidden burden of expectations in our personal lives and relationships. With clarity and compassion, they unpack how subconscious beliefs about how things should be—whether in marriage, parenting, or self-image—can lead to deep frustration and disappointment. Drawing from Torah and Tanya, the hosts illuminate the emotional and spiritual toll of unrealistic standards and offer a liberating shift: embracing human imperfection with humility and self-acceptance.Through powerful anecdotes and relatable scenarios, Hindi and Chayale challenge listeners to confront the "God complex"—the pressure to control, perfect, and perform—and instead cultivate inner peace by recognizing what is truly within our power. They offer thoughtful strategies to identify, examine, and release unrealistic expectations, creating space for authentic connection and growth. This episode is a compassionate call to reimagine what it means to be enough, to make room for real life, and to live with more gentleness—toward ourselves and those we love.

In this powerful solo bonus episode for Shavuos, Hindi Kalmenson shares a heartfelt workshop exploring the deeper spiritual themes of the Yom Tov and their relevance to our inner lives and relationships. Drawing from Torah insights and Chassidic teachings, she weaves together the core ideas of Torah, harvest, and the story of Rus—all centered around the mystical concept of “the third way.” Hindi explains how the number three represents not just peace and harmony, but the divine purpose of creation: the synthesis of opposites to birth something entirely new. Whether it’s the giving of the Torah, the miraculous partnership behind the harvest, or the selfless love between Rus and Boaz, each points to the possibility of unity through humility and self-awareness.Hindi gently guides listeners toward applying this concept in real life—starting with the necessity of owning one’s own value. Before connection or giving can happen in a relationship, she explains, we must first become whole within ourselves. Through vivid metaphors and relatable examples (like the deeper meaning behind making supper), Hindi illustrates how true relationships—whether with a spouse, a child, or Hashem—are born not from obligation or ego, but from mutual recognition and sacred space. This episode is both a spiritual preparation for Shavuos and a timeless roadmap for building meaningful relationships from a place of wholeness and divine purpose.

In this heartfelt and practical episode of Your Relationshift, co-hosts Hindi Kalmenson and Chayale Tzukernik explore the transformative power of deep listening in relationships. Drawing from Torah principles and personal experiences, they unpack what it truly means to listen—not just with our ears, but with our presence, patience, and openness. Through honest role-playing and relatable anecdotes, they reveal how internal chatter, pre-existing beliefs, and even well-intentioned reactions can block true connection. Instead, they offer insight into how a quiet, receptive stance—one that suspends judgment and ego—can pave the way for emotional intimacy and genuine understanding.The episode challenges listeners to reflect on their own listening habits and introduces deep listening not just as a skill, but as a way of being. From interactions with a spouse to exchanges with children or friends, the hosts emphasize that receptivity and space-making are core aspects of feminine energy and authentic connection. Whether you’ve struggled with feeling unheard or are realizing how often you interrupt, this conversation offers compassionate guidance and tangible steps toward creating more meaningful, grounded relationships—one quiet moment at a time.

In this thoughtful and deeply relatable episode of Your Relationshift, co-hosts Hindi Kalmenson and Chayale Tzukernik unpack the emotional rollercoaster that often follows the intensity of Pesach and introduce powerful tools for navigating the quieter, introspective period of Sefiras HaOmer. Drawing from Torah wisdom and therapeutic insights, they explore the concept of regulation as a prerequisite for real self-awareness and growth. With humor, honesty, and vulnerability, they dive into what it means to transition out of survival mode and into a space where intentionality and ownership become possible. From acknowledging how dysregulation affects our ability to be present, to recognizing that sometimes the first step is simply being gentle with ourselves, this episode offers both comfort and clarity.Listeners are introduced to practical and memorable tools like the acronyms STOP, HALT, and PASTA—each offering a framework for pausing, checking in, and moving forward with compassion and purpose. Whether it's stepping into the bathroom for a moment of calm or realizing that your anger might just be hunger in disguise, Hindi and Chayale normalize the messiness of the human experience while pointing the way to growth rooted in self-honesty and divine connection. Perfect for anyone feeling overwhelmed or seeking alignment after Yom Tov, this episode is a soothing and empowering guide for getting back in the driver’s seat of your emotional and spiritual life.

In this profound and thought-provoking episode of Your Relationshift, hosts Hindi Kalmenson and Chayale Tzukernik are joined by a very special guest—Sara Gita Soble, the founder of Relationshift. Together, they dive deep into the complexities of feminine desire, exploring the nuanced differences between Taava (craving or lust) and Ratzon (higher will). Through the lens of Chassidic wisdom, they uncover how our desires can either be a reflection of our deepest self or a distraction imposed by external influences. The discussion touches on the interplay between Ratzon and Taanug (delight), the challenges of discerning between superficial wants and true inner calling, and the way our desires shape not only our personal lives but also our relationships and connection with Hashem.Throughout the conversation, the hosts and Sara Gita share personal anecdotes and powerful insights, offering practical guidance on how to navigate the often-messy process of understanding what we truly want. They also explore the importance of embracing abundance, how recognizing our desires can deepen our sense of self, and how women, in particular, are uniquely connected to Ratzon and Taanug as part of their spiritual identity. Whether you’ve struggled to acknowledge your own wants or have felt tension between material and spiritual aspirations, this episode provides a fresh, inspiring perspective on how to channel desire in a meaningful, intentional, and fulfilling way.

In this heartfelt and humorous Pesach edition of Your Relationshift, co-hosts Hindi Kalmenson and Chayale Tzukernik open up about the unique pressures and emotional complexity that come with preparing for Passover. With their signature honesty and wit, they tackle everything from Pesach pajamas and peeling vegetables to deeper questions around stress, intention, and spiritual values. Whether you're hosting, going to family, or just trying to keep up with the unspoken standards of the holiday, this episode offers a refreshingly honest look at the often-overwhelming experience many women face during this season. The hosts remind us that freedom—the theme of Pesach—also includes emotional freedom, and that begins with reclaiming your own mindset and expectations.Hindi and Chayale dive into practical and powerful tools to help you approach Pesach with more ownership, calm, and connection. They explore the dynamics of differing standards between spouses, how to deal with judgment (especially internal judgment), and the importance of curiosity, communication, and self-regulation. They also discuss how to ask for help in a way that opens up partnership instead of frustration, and how to let go of martyrdom in favor of empowerment. Whether you're knee-deep in cleaning or just starting to plan, this episode offers a compassionate, relatable, and spiritually grounded guide to shifting your experience of Pesach—from survival to meaningful celebration.

In this episode of Your Relationshift, Hindi Kalmenson and Chayale Tzukernik dive into a pressing and deeply relatable topic—navigating phone usage in marriage. When a husband’s screen time feels excessive, it can trigger feelings of loneliness, frustration, and even resentment, especially when it seems to encroach on family time and connection. Drawing from both personal experience and their coaching expertise, Hindi and Chayale explore why common responses—like pleading, controlling, or personalizing the issue—often backfire, and instead, they offer a radically different approach. They discuss the power of shifting focus away from frustration and toward creating an inviting, engaging presence that naturally draws connection, rather than forcing it.With their signature warmth and wisdom, the hosts emphasize the importance of stepping out of a fear-based, control-driven mindset and into one of trust, empowerment, and creativity. They unpack the concept of being "the most interesting woman in the room" and explain how to cultivate an energy that makes space for a husband to engage—without pressure or resentment. Whether it's at the dinner table, in the bedroom, or during everyday interactions, this episode is a must-listen for women seeking to shift their dynamic from conflict to connection, using practical insights grounded in Torah principles and the beauty of feminine influence.

In this thought-provoking episode of Your Relationshift, Hindi Kalmenson and Chayale Tzukernik dive into the complexities of parenting and the distinct roles that mothers and fathers play in raising children. They explore a common yet unspoken dynamic—many women feel the weight of parenting falls almost entirely on them, while their husbands are either uninvolved or perceived as not fully capable. Through personal stories and Torah insights, they challenge this belief, introducing the transformative principle that a father is just as indispensable to a child's well-being as a mother. By shifting perspectives and creating space for a husband's unique parenting style—one rooted in the masculine traits of chochma, chessed and netzach—mothers can alleviate their own burden while giving their children the security that comes from having two actively involved parents. Hindi and Chayale also unpack the deep fears that arise when a father's approach to parenting differs from a mother's structured and intuitive style. They discuss the impact of perception—how viewing a husband as incapable can subtly reinforce that reality, and how shifting that lens can create powerful change. Through humor, honesty, and real-life examples, they highlight the importance of Shalom Bayis (marital harmony) as the foundation for raising healthy, balanced children. Tune in for a paradigm-shifting conversation that will challenge, inspire, and leave you with practical takeaways for embracing your husband’s role in parenting.

In this season 2 bonus interview for the "Your Relationshift Podcast", hosts Hindi Kalmenson and Chayale Tzukernik welcome Sara Gita Soble, the founder of Relationshift and the visionary behind the 13 Principles that have transformed countless relationships and personal lives. Sara Gita shares the inspiring story of how the Relationshift model was born—from her early days as a high school teacher and kallah instructor to her transition into private coaching. She reveals how a late-night realization led to the articulation of core principles rooted in Torah and Chassidic teachings, offering not just advice but timeless truths about human connection and growth. The discussion explores how these principles, once integrated, provide a foundation for transforming not only marriages but every aspect of personal and relational well-being. Throughout the conversation, Sara Gita emphasizes the importance of embracing one's human experience with compassion and empathy, highlighting concepts like Divine Design and the profound impact of recognizing Hashem's presence in every moment of life. She also shares how feminine leadership, modeled after biblical figures like Devorah, has shaped her nurturing and empowering approach to guiding women in their personal journeys. Listeners will be captivated by the deep insights into how living by these Torah-rooted truths can create lasting change, and they'll gain a deeper understanding of how Relationshift principles foster both personal transformation and stronger, more authentic relationships.

In this insightful first episode of season two of the "Your Relationshift" podcast, co-hosts Hindi Kalmenson and Chayale Tzukernik take on the often fraught topic of birthdays and anniversaries. Through the lens of Chassidic teachings and their relationship coaching expertise, Hindi and Chayale explore why these occasions can bring up a mix of emotions—ranging from excitement to disappointment—and how they can often feel like a "litmus test" for our relationships. From setting unrealistic expectations to grappling with our own inner turmoil about milestones, they break down the dynamics at play and explain how adopting a mindset of ownership, receptivity, and intention can transform these special days into truly meaningful experiences.Listeners will find practical strategies for shifting from a scarcity mindset to one of abundance, learning how to celebrate from a place of essential self-worth and spiritual connection. Hindi and Chayale also delve into how to approach birthdays and anniversaries in a way that strengthens marital relationships, including letting go of control, trusting your partner, and embracing the idea that every day can be a celebration of connection and growth. Packed with wisdom and practical takeaways, this episode sets the stage for a new season full of transformative insights into navigating relationships with clarity and joy.

In this heartwarming bonus episode of the Your Relationshift podcast, Hindi Kalmenson and Chayale Tzukernik share listener feedback and messages, highlighting how the podcast’s principles have deeply resonated and impacted lives. From shluchos to newly engaged bochurim, listeners open up about the real-life shifts they’ve experienced by applying the tools and teachings discussed in previous episodes. Whether it's navigating feelings of resentment through "Mirror Work," redefining expectations in marriage with "Trust the Connection," or addressing fear-based decision-making through the lens of "Mashpia/Mekabel," these personal stories reveal the transformative power of the podcast’s relatable and practical approach to relationships.Hindi and Chayale celebrate the courage and accountability of their listeners, who are actively applying these Torah-based principles to their daily lives. With a mix of humor, vulnerability, and heartfelt insights, the episode reflects on the beauty of shifting perspectives and embracing personal growth. As they wrap up the season, the co-hosts express their gratitude for the community they’ve built and the feedback they’ve received, promising even more thought-provoking conversations in season two. Tune in to be inspired by the stories of real people making meaningful changes and strengthening their relationships.

In the powerful season finale of the "Your Relationshift" podcast, Hindi Kalmenson and Chayale Tzukernik explore the foundational principle of "Divine Design" in relationships and life. Drawing from Torah wisdom, they discuss how every detail of our lives is intentionally orchestrated by Hashem for our ultimate good - a concept rooted in Hashgacha Pratis (Divine Providence). The co-hosts delve into the profound shift that occurs when we embrace this truth, moving from a mindset of victimhood to empowerment, recognizing that life's circumstances are divinely designed to help us grow and fulfill our unique mission. Through personal insights, stories, and examples from the Torah, including the life of Yosef HaTzadik, they illustrate how trust in Hashem’s goodness can transform challenges into opportunities for connection, clarity, and purpose.Listeners are invited to reflect on where they may be resisting their reality and to explore how cultivating a relationship with Hashem can bring comfort, openness, and perspective. Hindi and Chayale share practical approaches for integrating this principle, from daily conversations with Hashem to recognizing His hand in the details of our lives. As they conclude the first season, the hosts express gratitude for their listeners and give a glimpse of the exciting new direction for season two. This heartfelt and introspective episode is a fitting finale, offering timeless wisdom and actionable steps to deepen both faith and relationships.

In this powerful episode of the "Your Relationshift" podcast, co-hosts Hindi Kalmenson and Chayale Tzukernik tackle the sensitive yet universal issue of expectations around a spouse's religious observance. Drawing from real-life examples and Torah-based principles, they explore the pain and tension that can arise when a wife feels her husband isn’t meeting her spiritual expectations—whether it’s attending minyan, learning, or leading a Jewish home in a specific way. Through heartfelt discussion, they share practical strategies grounded in the concept of "mirroring," guiding listeners to turn inward and reflect on their own spiritual journey before focusing on their partner's.Hindi and Chayale emphasize the importance of ownership, self-compassion, and creating space for authenticity within relationships. By shifting from judgment to admiration, they illustrate how embracing each partner's unique spiritual path can cultivate safety, trust, and deeper connection in the home. This episode not only offers a roadmap for navigating religious dynamics in marriage but also inspires a broader appreciation for the beauty of individual journeys with God. Listeners will walk away with actionable insights and a renewed perspective on creating a home filled with love, acceptance, and spiritual abundance.

In this episode of the Relationshift Podcast, Hindi Kalmenson and Chayale Tzukernik explore the transformative concept of "mirror work," a principle rooted in the teachings of the Baal Shem Tov. They discuss how the negative qualities we notice in others are often reflections of unresolved aspects within ourselves, and how this awareness can inspire profound self-growth. Using the analogy of a mirror, the hosts unpack how Hashem orchestrates every interaction to guide us toward greater introspection and accountability. Through relatable examples—like receiving a triggering email from a school—Hindi demonstrates how applying this principle can shift our energy from judgment to compassion and create opportunities for personal transformation.The discussion also highlights how mirror work can improve relationships, particularly in marriage, where the dynamic is often the "biggest mirror." By taking ownership of our reactions and addressing the root of our triggers, we can foster healthier interactions and develop a more expansive sense of self. The hosts emphasize the importance of humility, honesty, and support when embarking on this journey, and they encourage listeners to reflect on their own experiences. This episode offers practical tools for cultivating a more compassionate and empowered perspective, helping us create a ripple effect of positive change within ourselves and our communities.