When I first got started in youth ministry I was a young single man who, truth be told, thought he knew a whole more than he actually did. One of my most arrogant moves was to somehow believe that I knew more about the kids in our youth group than even their parents knew about them. And, embarrassing truth be told again, I look back and can see that my younger self had a clear sense of how to raise children, and this, long before I had children of my own. Having children of my own along with having several decades of experience under my belt, I hope that this older version of myself is far more wise than that young fool I once was. This all came to mind recently when I read these words of wisdom from John Stott: “It is always best to respond to God’s call neither with extreme self-confidence nor with complete self-doubt, but with humble trust in the living God who equips those He calls.” Parents, I’ve learned that we’re always learning, and that our strength and wisdom comes from God.
Recent research published in the Journal, Neuroscience, reports on the effects of physical activity, physical fitness, and screen time on the brain developments of adolescents. We already know that the childhood and adolescent years are marked by brain development, which is according to God’s good design. We also know that since we are created as integrated beings, what we put into our bodies coupled with our behaviors influence brain development for better or for worse. Not surprisingly, this new research is summarized by researchers with these words: “Our new findings highlight the importance of an active lifestyle, good physical fitness and moderate screen time for brain development in adolescence.” Parents, we are responsible to steward the development of our kids bodies and brains to the end of their good and God’s glory. Are your kids getting outside to play and move around? Are they engaging in sports activity? And, are you limiting their time with screens?
Our kids are always learning from us. Our words and our example shape who they will become, a reality established by God as he has created individuals and families. This means that for better or for worse, our kids are watching, and what they see in us and from us will play a powerful role in shaping who they are. The Journal of Health Psychology is hammering this point home. They’ve found that there’s some kind of connection between a mother who is frequently engaged with social media, specifically taking, editing, and posting selfies, and a daughter who is interested in having cosmetic surgery. It’s believed that these daughters have adopted a kind of dissatisfaction with their appearance that they inherited from watching their mom’s own dissatisfaction. Parents, we live in an appearance obsessed culture. Your obsessions will influence your kid’s obsessions. We urge you to find your identity in the rock, Jesus Christ, and not in your appearance.
Recent research from the Journal of the American Medical Association serves to remind us of our need to be diligent in protecting our kids from experiencing trauma to their brains while playing sports. Using new imaging techniques, researchers at Columbia University have discovered that the area of the brain behind the forehead – known as the cerebral cortex – suffers the most damage from repeatedly heading a soccer ball. The practical result of this damage is a decline in cognitive function. In the past, you’ve heard us talk about the growing body of research regarding CTE, or chronic traumatic encephalopathy, a condition leading to cognitive decline. If you want to learn more about CTE we suggest you check out the website of the concussion legacy foundation. Parents, we are called to steward the physical, mental, and spiritual health of our kids. Are you taking steps to insure that they won’t engage in activities that put the gift of their God-given brains at risk? If not, take steps now.
At the start of this year’s school year, we were hearing reports about more and more schools nationwide that were taking steps to get the smartphones out of their student’s hands during the school day. This a great move that every school district should take. But there’s still concerns about how much time our kids are spending with their smartphones and social media during their out-of-school hours. Some new research, that’s not at all surprising, should push you as a parent to set limits on smartphone use in your home. It seems that social media is effecting test scores. For kids ages nine to thirteen, just one hour on social media per day can lower test scores by at least one or two points. Kids who spent as high as four hours a day on social media saw up to a five point drop on their test scores. Our students should be pursuing a love of the Lord with all of the capacities of their minds. Let’s help them do this well by setting clear borders and boundaries on smartphone use.
All this week we’ve been looking at some of the latest data from the Pew Research Center on how parents of children ages twelve and under are managing the realities of life in a smartphone saturated world. One finding that should cause us to pause in our parenting steps is this: parents overwhelmingly think using social media does more to harm than benefit their kids. In fact, eighty-percent of parents of kids twelve and under say that there are more harms than benefits from social media. This begs a question: If, in fact, there are any harmful aspects related to social media use, why are we allowing our kids to engage with social media through their smartphones and screens? Parents, the Apostle Paul tells us in the book of Ephesians that our high calling is to nurture and raise our children in the admonition of the Lord. We need be about the work of protecting our children from harm and providing for their well-being. Remember this as you think about your kids and social media.
All this week we’re looking at some of the latest data from the Pew Research Center on how parents of children ages twelve and under are managing the realities of life in a smartphone saturated world. One finding deserving our attention is this: that even for the youngest of our kids, the YouTube video platform is widely used. Eighty-five percent of parents say their child ever watches YouTube, with half of those watching on a daily basis. Sixty percent of parents report that their child under two watches YouTube, and it’s at eighty-four percent for kids ages two to four! Parents, are you aware that your kids are being marketed to through YouTube? Are you aware that there are a variety of messages and worldviews being dispensed and promoted, many of which are contrary to the Gospel and a Christian world and life view? Two necessary responses come to mind. First, limit their time with smartphones. And if they are watching YouTube, watch wisely with them.
All this week we’re looking at some of the latest data from the Pew Research Center on how parents of children ages twelve and under are managing the realities of life in a smartphone saturated world. Researchers found that about one in four parents of kids ages birth to twelve have a smartphone of their own. Did you hear that? We’re not talking kids who have access to someone else’s smartphone, but kids who have a smartphone of their own! Of course, we would expect but not applaud the fact that well over half of our eleven and twelve year olds would have a phone of their own. And the numbers diminish as the ages get younger. But twenty nine percent of eight to ten year olds, twelve percent of five to seven year olds, and eight percent of children under five have their own smartphone. As Christian parents, we need to question the practice of putting a device that’s addictive, distracting, and full of roadways into unbiblical worldviews into the hands of our impressionable kids.
All this week we’re looking at some of the latest data from the Pew Research Center on how parents of children ages twelve and under are managing the realities of life in a smartphone saturated world. The survey found that screen use is starting young. Ninety percent say their kids interact with the TV screen. Almost seventy percent have kids who interact with a tablet. Sixty-one percent interact with a smartphone. Half of the twelve and under cohort of kids engages in gaming. Just under forty percent use a laptop. And at this point, eight percent of five to twelve year olds are currently engaging with an AI chatbot. Paul in his letter to the Colossians says to “set your minds on the things that are above, not on things that are on earth.” CPYU Research Fellow Mike Terry writes, “With screens, it’s increasingly likely that their minds are being brought lower into fragmentation, and not lifted higher into focus on the things of God.” Parents, your calling is to point them to Christ.
One of the youth culture realities all of us need to understand is what’s called “Age Compression.” Simply stated in layman’s terms, Age Compression means that the things today’s parents needed to navigate during their own teenage years are now things our pre-school and elementary-aged kids need to navigate. This means that pressures, problems, choices, and opportunities exist for kids who are at the most vulnerable of young ages. One area of concern is navigating life with our kids on what’s called “the Digital Frontier.” Today’s parents are called on to manage things like smartphones and social media that weren’t an issue for them at that young age. The folks at the Pew Research Center recently surveyed over three thousand parents of kids ages twelve and under. Almost seventy percent say their kids use a tablet, and sixty-one percent a smartphone. So, what’s a parent to do? Stick with us all this week as we look at the research from Pew, and parental response strategies.
Why do so many parents tiptoe gingerly around their children in today’s world? More and more parents are afraid to step up, take the reins, and assume their God-given position of authority. Instead, parents have become like butlers, available to wait on and serve their kids’ every desire and whim. Fearing rejection, we sometimes go against our better judgment and God’s design to say yes when we should be saying no. God established the family with a pecking order. Those who are older and wiser are charged with the duty of raising, nurturing, and protecting those who are young and not-so- wise. In other words, parents are to parent their children. Dad, mom: you have a God-given responsibility to love your teenager, to guide them through life, to protect them from harm, and to provide for their well-being. This means that there are times when you will have to teach your kids God’s will and way by saying no. Parent your teenagers to the glory of God!
It doesn’t take a degree in rocket science to see that there’s been a decline in parental sideline behavior over the course of the last few years. I recently watched a viral video where a referee had to stop a girls’ soccer game to address a parent who was allegedly heckling him over his calls. The video caught him saying this: “Do I look like I should be doing seven games in twenty-four hours. No I don’t. You know why I’m doing seven games in twenty-four hours? Because there are fewer and fewer people who are willing to do this. Do you understand that? And most of the time people that are unwilling to do it is because of you people.” He ended with this: “So why don’t you just grow up.” Parents we need to take seriously the words of the Apostle Paul in Romans twelve eighteen: “If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone.” Are allowing the good gift of youth sports to become an idol in your life? If so, take steps to change your priorities!
Truth be told, I’ve been having some fun with AI. I’ve especially been having a good time with AI’s ability to create songs, and to manufacture photos. And of course, I’m not alone. I’m not surprised that today’s kids know a lot more about AI and how to leverage it than I will ever know. The Future Report Study found that in Europe, forty percent of teenagers us AI daily or almost daily. Many of their schools allow the use of an AI tool. In school, teens say they use AI to explain hard topics, get instant answers or feedback, make learning more fun, and to strengthen their ideas and problem solving skills. Out side of school, they are using AI to write and edit, to produce visual art, to create videos, and to design and build projects. We must remember that AI is not a neutral or benign tool. It will reshape its’ users over time. We have to wonder if our kids will lose their creative thinking skills and ability to discern. Keep an eye on this parents. And, be sure to set limits on where your kids can go online.
Today, I want to warn you about a dangerous substance abuse trend which centers around an increasingly popular herbal drug which is available online and in stores, including gas stations and vape shops. Known as Kratom – K-r-a-t-o-m – the drug comes from the tree of the same name that is native to Southeast Asia. Users chew the tree’s leaves, brew the leaves, or create a liquid extract. Users who ingest Kratom in low doses report that the effects are like those of a stimulant which increases alertness and energy. When used at higher doses, it works as a sedative to calm one’s nerves and anxiety, and to reduce pain. The drug takes effect in minutes with the effects lasting a few hours. The physical side effects are many, and there also side effects on one’s brain and nervous system, including hallucinations, and in some cases, death. Our kids are at risk, and we must warn them about the dangerous effects of this and all other drugs. Protect your kids by learning more about Kratom.
Yesterday was the first Sunday in advent. Advent is the church season leading up to Christmas that’s all about expectation, waiting, and preparation. It’s a time to focus on the coming of the King and his Kingdom into the world. It’s a time to think about how God through his mercy and grace is restoring the world we’ve broken to its original purpose and glory through Jesus Christ. Sadly, its such a busy time of preparation for meals, gatherings, decorating, and gift-giving that the real meaning of Christmas gets lost in the rush. Let me encourage you to start slowly and keep moving slowly through the season of advent this year. Focus less on the doing, and more on the waiting. Each one of us, including our kids, needs God to burst into our life to do for us what we in no way can do for ourselves. Salvation, redemption, and new life come through Christ alone. It’s not earned or deserved. This year, talk to your kids about advent. Then, wait with great expectation and celebrate the King with great joy!
When sixteen year old Maryland high school football player Taki Allen ate a bag of doritos following practice earlier this year, he crumpled up the bag and stuffed it in his pocket. All Allen was doing was waiting for a ride along with several of his teammates when several police cars showed up. With guns drawn, police instructed Allen to put his hands up and get on the ground. After getting handcuffed, police searched Allen for a gun, which he did not have. The sixteen year old was surprised by it all and wondered why this was happening. It seems that the school uses a video security system which relies on Artificial Intelligence to detect threats, including the presence of guns. In this case, the AI detection system failed miserably, as it mistook Allen’s Dorito bag for a gun! This story could have ended quite differently due to an AI mistake. This goes to show that our move into this new AI world is going to be fraught with unexpected consequences. We need to tread carefully onto this new frontier.
Today we celebrate Thanksgiving. Many of us have gathered to enjoy a day filled with conversation, an abundance of food, and perhaps some football. If you’re like me, many of these long-held holiday traditions could wind up filling the day so full that we actually forget to pause and give thanks to God for His many blessings. This year, I’ve resolved to spend some time alone to pause and give thanks to God. I encourage you to do the same. I’m going to go outside and look around. I am grateful for my eyesight and for the all the beautiful things he put in the world for me to see. I will thank God for the people he has placed in my life. I will thank him for the luxuries of life that I tend to take for granted as if I deserve them. Finally, I am going to thank God for the difficulties of life. Perhaps your circumstances have you focused on your difficulties. If so, give thanks. It is through difficulties that God leads us to a deeper faith and dependence on Him. Thanks be to God for His kindness and grace!
A current lawsuit case hitting the courts is one we need to be aware of if we love and lead kids. A seventeen year old New Jersey teenager is suing the company that created an AI app that will manipulate any photo, allowing app users to remove the clothing of the person in the picture. When she was fourteen and posting photos of herself on social media, a male classmate manipulated one of those photos using the app, which kept the young girl’s face recognizable on a body that was not clothed. The fake image, as expected, was widely circulated among classmates and friends through social media. The suit is asking the courts to require the company to remove all fake images, to remove the app from the internet, and to provide financial compensation for loss of privacy and emotional harm. These tools in the hands of anyone of any age can be incredibly destructive. Warn your kids, and teach them to respect the privacy and image of God in all humans. Real or fake, it’s pornography.
Sometimes it’s the emergency room doctors who are the first to warn us about the latest online challenges kids are engaging in at the risk of death and injury. Without going into too much detail, there are several reports of burned and injured teens who have engaged in what’s called “the jam jar pulse jet” challenge. Thanks to several online tutorials, kids are pouring regular household rubbing alcohol in a jar, and then engineering the lid in ways that allow them to ignite the dangerous and potentially deadly device. Kids are not aware of just how risky this is, as the jars are prone to explode, which then throws the fiery fuel along with glass shards onto anyone nearby. Burns, vision loss, cuts, lacerations, and other injuries can result, along with potentially fatal bleeding. Parents, be aware of this trend. Talks to your kids about risky behavior and online challenges. Monitor their use of smartphones and social media, and be sure to teach them to honor God by honoring their health.
It’s been a few weeks since the initial arrests involving an FBI investigation into a widespread gambling network which included several people involved with the NBA. This story reminds us of just how prevalent gambling is, including sports gambling, which involves many of our kids who use online betting apps. For example, the New York Council on Problem Gambling is reporting that over the course of the last year, a large majority of high school aged kids have placed at least one bet. In addition, the number of kids ages twelve to seventeen who meet the standards for problem gambling has been on the rise. The rash of advertisements, along with smartphones and peer pressure have contributed to the teen gambling problem. Parents, we need to realize that gambling is both fueled by and fuels the love of money, which is a thirst which the Bible tells us will never be satisfied. In addition, Jesus warns that in an attempt to gain the whole world, a person may lose their soul.