Zero Doinks: World's Weirdest Chicago Bears Podcast

That's now four in a row for the Bears and there's no end in sight for football prosperity. Dan and Bill were at the Saints game and survived the tailgate to tell the tale. Dan also has a tremendous Ravens preview as Chicago looks to make it five straight. Rick Feelsmen is back. A new Egg has been hatched. Huge game for the Illini on Saturday. Plus tons more.

It's time for all Bears fans to follow the lead of benjohnson and grow a firmer spine because the Bears are not the same disappointing franchise that they've been for most of our lives. The sleeping giant is awake. Be afraid, everyone else, and be confident into the night, Bears Nation. We will never be the same, and that's a good thing. Also, Jayden Daniels has tiny hands.

After what feels like a month of no Bears football, our boys return to the field this upcoming Monday night in a place that brings back dark 2024 Matt Eberflus feelings - Washington, DC. No need to focus on the past, though, this is benjohnson's time to shine. Let's see him cook after a bye week. Plus, Ohio State-Illini talk as we look to Big Nude Saturday visiting Champaign again for Illinois's upset bid against the number one Buckeyes.

The Bears have turned the corner and there's no looking back. Benjohnson is quickly making the team in his own insane image and Caleb has the clutch gene that no Bears quarterback has ever possessed, at least in our lifetime. The Bears may be 2-2 but it feels like they're 17-0 because they might never lose again. Come along for the ride, and fall in love with benjohnson with us.

Turns out the Bears don't have to be all the way back if they never left. Huge game this weekend in Las Vegas as benjohnson's red hot offense has clearly taken full flight. Will the Bears enter an early bye week at 2-2? For Dan's health, they better. Rick Feelsmen is on a hot streak himself, dominating the computer with his can't-miss picks. The Illini had a bye week at Indiana and look to bounce back against USC. Plus tons more, on this week's Zero Doinks.

Pretty dark times for Bears fans, as it appears our boys suck absolute eggs again. Will the famililar dumb face of Matt Eberflus on the opposing sideline be the cure for what ails the 2025 Bears? Is Donnell Wolford still available to play CB? It's time for benjohnson's offense to shine, hopefully in Week 3. Otherwise we might officially become a CPAP and Illini football podcast.

We are choosing to move forward, after briefly acknowledging another heart-wrenching defeat and a week's worth of new worries and questions, but remaining steadfast and positive. This is a new era, and we must take direction from our fearless leader benjohnson without hesitation. And we must defeat the flaccid Lions. All this, plus top-10 Illini football talk and much more.

Thank god week one has arrived and we can watch the official arrival of the benjohnson era. What do the boys consider a successful season for the rookie coach and second-year QB in 2025? Is JJ McCarthy actually scary the more we learn about him? Who is the 3rd biggest celebrity to come out of Justin Jefferson's hometown and why does he have one of the world's weirdest names? So many things to cover this episode, including the return of gambling shart Rick Feelsmen, Jerry Sandusky's impact on the Green Bay Packers, America's first punters-only fantasy segment, a look ahead to the Number 11 (!) Illini's first road test and an update from the CPAP Boys. Welcome back, Bears. We missed you.

The Ben Johnson Era is here and we are avoiding the noise that surrounds camp. Dan and one of his 14 daughters visits Bears practice but doesn't know what he's looking at, besides George McCaskey. Full disclosure: nearly the majority of this episode is dedicated to a new segment about being on CPap machines. We're getting older, but not more mature. Go Bears, we love you.

What does the Chicago Bears 2025 schedule release have in common with Dave Coulier in a movie theater? Find out on this episode of Zero Doinks as the boys tick through all 17 obvious wins, starting with Monday Night Football in Week 1 against JJ McCarthy and the Vikings. Thanks for listening, we love you and want to bathe you.

After Ryan Poles spent the weekend listening to the board it is clear that Ben Johnson's first draft has his beautiful mitts all over it. We recall how we initially felt on Thursday with the Colston Loveland pick versus how we feel now after days of hot, intense research. So many new Bears to wrap our minds around, as well as a preview of who we think our beloved will be opening the 2025 season against. Enjoy the one draft review out there that talks about showering with dogs.

Hang the banner, the Bears have won the 2025 offseason, there is no way this will fail. The offensive and defensive lines are shaping up beautifully, the draft is looming and Ben Johnson already has hall-of-fame influence in Halas Hall. The Bears are back? We discuss the roster additions to date and look ahead to who we want to see the Bears to target in April's draft. Plus March Madness is about to kick off and a party looms at Bill's house. Did the Gray Balls win the title yet again? Lots to get to. We love you.

Zero Doinks is back for Season 7 and we have never been more full of life. So much has changed since S6 ended with the golden foot of Cairo Santos breaking the hearts of annoying Packers fans. The dream head coach candidate surprisingly said yes to Kevin Warren and the Bears braintrust. Ben Johnson’s coaching staff is expensive and impressive. Virginia McCaskey is dead. Dick Jauron? Also dead. But not Zero Doinks. We’ve never felt more alive. This will not fail.

An 11 game skid against Green Bay ended on Sunday and made us feel hope for the first time in months. Caleb is clearly the man, and now he needs a leader. Hopefully it’s Ben Johnson, if Chicago does not Bears it up. Our season finale awaits your ears.

Will the Bears losing streak end in 2024? We doubt it. Tonight we wrap up the 2024 version of Zero Doinks and will return after a new coach (and GM?) is hired. But there's a lot to get to, just maybe not a lot of it revolving around the Bears. We love you, we want your Christmas to be so merry and bright. Go Bears, eventually.

Are we simply fated to a life of bad Bears football? Thomas Brown ended any hope of a dead coach bounce and now we have to suffer through one more month of one of the least enjoyable seasons ever. Let's get Caleb and Rome some sweet stats to close the year, at least. 

Eberflus has been fired and we never want to think about him again. We talk about what an idiot that guy was and where we'd like the Bears to look next, under the leadership (?) of the oft car-washing Kevin Warren. Dan has an obsession with bees and other winged things this episode. Will Thomas Brown ever lose as Bears interim head coach? We doubt it.

Thomas Brown and Caleb Williams. Should we keep this tandem together? Caleb looks  unbelievable. Is Flus fired yet? He just keeps finding new ways to mess up, it's comicable at this point. Bears are inches away from getting a Top 10 pick next year. Six games to go. Join us, as we prepare for the Lions game. They're going to murder us. Also we love Onebar and Lupagus.

We realize you probably don't want to think about the Bears right now but this ep is going to change your mind. As luck would have it, Dan and Bill magically discover they have a similar personal issue occurring right now, and they are about to go on a similar journey together. That is more important than Santos getting his worm-burning kick blocked by the Packers and everyone becoming sunk in misery yet again, right? Caleb to Rome looks like something special, at least, and new OC Thomas Brown might be the only guy on staff who knows how to coach.

Three OCs in 11 games seems like something bad franchises do. Haven't we done this show before? Maybe twice? Shane Waldron was terrible but is there any doubt Green Bay is going to put the negative spotlight back on Flus and his horrible tenure? Just protect Caleb, FFS. And let's have some fun with the return of Keep An Eye On Dan.