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Courage and Spice: the podcast for humans with Self-doubt
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Courage and Spice: the podcast for humans with Self-doubt

Author: Sas Petherick

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Hey guys and gals and non-binary pals! Courage + Spice is the podcast for humans with self-doubt, hosted by me: Sas Petherick. I literally have a masters degree in self-doubt and I've spent almost a decade coaching hundreds of people how to develop robust self-belief. You can expect interviews with delightful humans, evidence-based resources and original proven coaching tools. If self-doubt is holding you back in your relationships, career, creativity or your business, Courage + Spice is especially for you.
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My brilliant guest today is Karen Arthur, menopause activist, campaigner, and host of the podcast Menopause whilst Black. She is also a teacher, a fashionista, and a grandmother, and does all of this with unrelnting wholehearted joy.Karen joins us to talk about the balance of feeling joy amidst increasingly troubling world news, embracing the aging process, and putting your energy toward meaningful change, note to mention a whole range of goodness about how we connect ourselves to the world.You can find out mroe about Karen at https://www.thekarenarthur.com/QUOTES“Instagram is my weapon of choice. And I don’t mind being visible as long as I’m visible on my own terms.”“It all goes back to not doing something just because everybody else is doing it, but doing it because it feels right.”“I’m loving the collective resistance that I'm seeing happening around the world, whether it's walking out of the Senate, schools, turning up for marches, speaking out, having vigils. It's incredible.”
Welcome to a new season of Courage & Spice, and to the Age of Aquarius! For those less astrologically inclined, this means that 2024 has arrived with a big sense of newness – new ideas, new adventures, new opportunities, it’s all on the way.  With just a few weeks before I officially move from our home in Bristol to Aotearoa, New Zealand, I’m experiencing fresh starts left and right. Tune in for some transformative life updates, plus a brand new freebie and news from the world of Self-belief School! Want to get unstick and into ACTION? Sign up for the Ultimate Procrastination Interrupter here: https://selfbelief.school/procrastination-signup/ Interested in joining the next round of SBCA? You can find all the information here: https://selfbelief.school/sbca/ QUOTES“When no one else is watching, how do we take care of ourselves?”“Aquarius is all about speeding up innovation and new ideas… and my god do we need that! We need really smart-brained people to come up with solutions to these complex problems that we're all living with.”
This week, we’re taking a closer look at how to approach the fear of failure so that you can let go of it for good. The threat of failure brings up a lot of very real worries and feelings, which are completely valid. Failure is so wrapped up in our sense of self, what we’re capable of, and our hopes for the future… no wonder we put so much effort into avoiding it.In this episode, I share the experiences that taught me to recontextualize goals in terms of ideas, commitment, and decisions. Practice this and you will never fail again! QUOTES “Just notice: what are you committed to? Where do you feel that in your body? What are you willing to keep doing until?  And then there is no way you can fail.”“It takes time to really sink into commitment. Every single time you keep a promise to yourself, you're edging closer to sinking into the commitment feeling.”“It's worth reflecting on your reasoning. Do you love the reason that you've decided to not take an idea into the next stage?”
Are you afraid of failure? You are definitely not alone. The fear of failure is such a big reason for self-doubt to show up. To complicate it even more, we define failure in so many ways, from not making the cut, to guilt around something unfulfilled, all the way to something simply not going your way.This is a bit of a personal one for me as I’ve been diagnosed with ‘heart failure’ I’ve been playing with my relationship to failure for the last few months. I want to share my learnings for how I've made some deep peace with this. Tune in for the first of two special episodes. QUOTES“We make failure mean that something is bad or wrong with us, usually because we've been told that. We've been told that failure is a form of humiliation. Of course we would avoid it at all costs if we don't believe we can tolerate it.”“We forget that because we've failed in the past, we have so much more information. We're experienced, more understanding, older and wiser and more resourced.”
Is you self-doubt tied up in your relationship with money? This week, I'm joined by the Founder of Tended Wealth, Megan DeBoer.Megan defines wealth as a state of plenty in relationships, health, community, our environment, and of course our finances. Tune in for a rich discussion on the familial and cultural lineage of money, how we frame our relationship with money based on this history, and what we can do to create new, revolutionary narratives around how we build wealth and what we put it toward. You can find more about Megan athttps://www.tendedwealth.com/@tendedwealthUntil the end of February 2024, listeners can use this code for 15% off either of Megan's THRIVE or EXPAND courses: COURAGEANDSPICE REFERENCEDThe Soul of Money by Lynne TwistSacred Economics by Charles EisensteinQUOTES“The lived history of your grandparents, your parents, what they had to do to survive and the narratives that formed… all of it makes so much sense in the context of where you find yourself in this moment.” “If we all share these kinds of stories around our worthiness and our need to work really hard, there's something about that that can be really healing. That sense of ‘I'm not in this alone’ can feel a bit like we're sharing the load.” “There is cultural and societal status attached to that form of wealth. And so it's radical reclamation of what it is, to see wealth that we create around us and our own bodies, to include in that our communities and the financial health of the people in our communities.”
Business ownership can be the most rewarding way to express who you are – you get to do meaningful work, live your values, and create beautiful things or offer helpful services. At the same time, it can be an epic self-development quest that you probably didn't even realise you were signing up for (I certainly didn’t). There’s no way to create a business that is risk-free, which means that self-doubt is often waiting around every corner. Listen in for five reasons why business can feel so freakin' hard, and what you can do about it!If you’re looking for support as a business owner, Bravehearts is a new programme inside of Self-belief School, specifically for business owners. This is low/no content - just coaching and co-working to support you to complete a business goal before Christmas!We start 6th November. Get access by signing up to Self-belief School right here: https://selfbelief.school/enrol/#braveheartsQUOTES ‘We think we're just showing up and selling our beautiful work and getting to create a meaningful job for ourselves. But actually, you are going against everything you've been told will keep you safe.’‘As kids we heard, “do what you're told”. And as adults, we're looking to know the invisible rules of how to be an adult. We end up crowdsourcing our decision-making. And this is because we just aren't shown… how to trust our inner knowing’‘People are going to unfollow, unsubscribe, disagree with you. These are all just everyday, neutral choices that people make. If we have untended attachment needs, we can make any of these things mean that we are being rejected.’
This episode kicks off an occasional Courage & Spice series on body image, with my brilliant guest and dear friend Professor Phillippa Diedrichs!Phil is a research psychologist at the Centre for Appearance Research in Bristol, as well as the founder of Everybody Consulting, an academic led consultancy working with global brands to drive social change and improve wellbeing. Tune in for Phil’s expert perspective on what forms our (often complex) relationship with our own bodies, and the ways we can react to and challenge the effects of the media, capitalism, and societal pressures on our self-perception. You can find out more about Phil at:https://www.phillippadiedrichs.com/https://www.everybodyconsulting.com/On IG @phillippa.diedrichs REFERENCESGender Magic by Rae McDanielQUOTES“We are judged in terms of how attractive we are, how likable we are, how funny, how smart, how healthy. These are the judgments people make all the time about other people based on how they look, so our appearance to others becomes really important.” “One of the things that we love as human beings in nature is the diversity. There's so many wonderful combinations of shapes and colours and textures. Imagine if there was only one kind of flower, one colour, one shape. Why do we then try and limit ourselves to that?”  
One of the biggest ways that self-doubt holds us back is by telling us that we aren’t ready. This shows up differently depending on your specific situation. Maybe you’re an artist waiting to feel ready to share your work with an audience, or a writer waiting to contact agents. A coach waiting to perfect your offer before putting it out into the world… even a parent waiting until the kids are older to pursue your dreams. No matter what your situation, I’ve found that we’re never really waiting to feel ready; we’re waiting to feel safe. Listen in for tips on how to stop the waiting game from holding you back... ...plus BIG news from the world of Self-belief School! I’d love to invite you to my free workshop, Why am I so mean to me?, which will show you how to speak to yourself with compassion, encouragement and respect. The workshop will take place on Wednesday 4th October 2023 at 8 pm UK time. All you have to do is register here: https://selfbelief.school/kindness/ Self-belief School is also getting a very exciting update, and will soon be available for you to join at any time! No more waiting for enrolment to open… and certainly no more waiting to be 'ready’ 😁 These changes will be launching next month in October, so be sure to join the waitlist to be the first to hear when you can sign up: https://selfbelief.school/waitlist/
Welcome back to Courage and Spice! As 2023 continues, today I'm sharing with you a compassionate and deceptively simple self-reflection process that has gotten me through uncertain times recently. Listen in for these two questions that you can use to support yourself when the future doesn’t seem so clear. QUOTES“Adulting has real periods of strain. And often there is no neat solution… we have to keep going. There's no destination. I'm unlikely to get to a time where there aren't pressures or some kind of constraint. I need to figure out a way to support myself in this.”“When the world or our lives feel really complex and uncertain and big, it's almost like we need to meet that with a big solution. But actually, I found that the simpler the solution, the more likely we are to do it.”
Believe it or not, we’re about half-way through the mystery magical adventure that has been 2023! Before we go on a podcast hiatus for the summer, I wanted to share the unexpected and twisty journey that this year has been with you. In January, if you asked me to imagine where my mind, heart, and even my body would be in July, I would never have come up with where I am now. A lot of this started with a trip back to my home and family in New Zealand, which evolved my relationship with the past and opened a new sense of possibility for the future. Tune in for more on where this has led! And if you’re interested in feeling more at home in your body, The Embodyment Workshop, is coming to you live in November: https://selfbelief.school/embodyment/  QUOTES “I’m feeling a mix of grief and loss of leaving here and the people that I deeply care about, and also real excitement and trepidation about taking my business into a whole new place.” “There’s something about seeing through the haze and the fog of all those worries, doubts, and fears, to actually the truth of right now, in your heart.” “I’ve been thinking about all the places that I could belong that I maybe haven't allowed myself to, or that I've tried to protect myself from because of some anticipated risk that people won't like me if I go there.”
Are you feeling out of alignment with your natural rhythm? Maybe you don't even know if you have a natural rhythm? Perhaps you are searching for a sense of order outside of the 9 to 5 world of notifications and expectations? This episode is a treat! Jen Wright is a mentor who works with folks to build values-based, heart-led businesses and she is here to share her expertise in slow, sustainable, cyclical living.Listen in for her insights on how to tune into your body to create your own unique cycles and rituals, making the most of your time in the most nourishing, fulfilling, and intuitive way. The Aigned Community: Cyclical living and slow business support for gentle rebels https://life-aligned.mn.coMore about Jen:https://www.lifealigned.co.uk/https://www.instagram.com/lifealignedco/REFERENCESLottie Randomly https://www.lottierandomly.com/QUOTES“It’s about tuning back into our bodies. Seeing when we can rest, when we can slow down, and when things feel easier for us, rather than just pushing all the time.”“If we think about a hierarchy of wellness, sleep is the big pillar at the bottom. That's where our body repairs itself, when our natural healing happens. When we dream, we are usually processing stuff from that day. In order to dream, we need to get into depth of sleep.”“Can you imagine a society where all of us are educated about the cycle of life? Where we ask, what does that actually mean for all of us? And commit to knowing that.”
If you’re not following Keri Jarvis on Instagram @keri_l_jarvis, what are you doing?! Keri is a developmental coach, intersectional feminist, community activist, and all-around bloody ace human. When we recorded this episode, Keri had posted some brilliant thoughts on Instagram about what it really means to identify with being an ambitious person and how her own sense of equity, justice and feminism has caused her relationship with ambition to evolve.We got together to chat more about ambition, getting comfortable with contentment, what gratitude really means in practice, and competition versus collectivism. Plus a huge amount of amazing references and resources that are sure to send you down a rabbit hole of info and inspo 📚REFERENCESYou can find Keri’s original post here: https://www.instagram.com/p/CnUDBDBLWcy/Madeline Pendleton podcast: Pick me up I’m scared https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/pick-me-up-im-scared/id1572517571Madeline on TikTokhttps://www.tiktok.com/@madeline_pendletonUpstream Podcast: UNLEARN EVERYTHING YOU THOUGHT YOU KNEW ABOUT ECONOMICShttps://www.upstreampodcast.org/Upstream on Insta: https://www.instagram.com/upstreampodcast/Emergent Strategy Podcast:https://open.spotify.com/show/3FUEqQ4aPQstyanxBaFfxFWomen have better sex under Socialism:https://uk.bookshop.org/lists/women-have-better-sex-under-socialism QUOTES “All of your consumption decisions, who you choose to work with, who you tell your stories to, the kinds of folks you spend your time with - they all get to be personal decisions.”“Capitalism says there's not enough to go around, so you have to fight for it. Collective liberation says ‘I don't believe in competition. I want us all to win.’ And some of us are starting at different places, so that means some of us need a ton more resources and support to get to the start line.”“If we accept that growth is where the happiness is, the inevitability of it, the necessary nature of it, it's not unusual for people to be quite stopped in their tracks and think, ‘why would I want more?’”
My guest today is Ellie Kime, writer, founder of Enthusiast and Co. and publisher of Voracious Magazine. Ellie has a master’s degree in enthusiasm (yes…literally!) and is here to share what it really means to live with unbridled passion for the things you love most. We’re throwing away surface-level good vibes and toxic positivity and diving deep into what it means to be joyfully enthusiastic. Tune in for advice on how to live by your own rules when it comes to business, hobbies, creativity, and everything in between. You can find out more about Ellie at: https://www.theenthusiast.co/about-elliehttps://www.instagram.com/eleanor_mollie/  QUOTES “My conclusion is to just to stop playing by the rules, cause if we can't win then let's play our own game.” “Even if you can't find somebody with your very specific enthusiasms, surround yourself with a group of people who really understand the depth of your enthusiasm, the embodiment of how it feels.” “You've just got to do everything with love. Otherwise what's the point?”
This week I’m speaking with the brilliant Bridgette Boudreau! Bridgette is a master certified life coach; she has been a CEO to multimillion-dollar corporations, built her own business twice, and developed programmes that have trained thousands of coaches… myself included!Bridgette’s mission these days is to infuse your working life with vision, meaning, growth and healing. But today, we’re digging even further into a ‘stealth mission’ that we both share, to educate clients, coaches, and any consumer of coaching, to be aware of the shadow side of the coaching industry.  Tune in for insight on the toxic side of manifesting culture, what accountability looks like within coaching practice, and the ways that a good coach will amplify YOUR light. You can find out more about Bridgette at:https://www.bridgetteboudreau.com/https://www.instagram.com/bridgetteboudreau/ REFERENCESKelly Diels wrote a great post about the Launch Formula 'mental triggers' approach and why we should do better.Lianne Raymond: http://www.lianneraymond.com/QUOTES “Your limitations shape your purpose just as much as your gifts, strengths, and your light. So it doesn't mean you don't get to be what your heart wants – it means you can stop trying to prove yourself.”“It's not your fault if you paid a bunch of money to a super coach and they didn't give you the basic consideration that you should get as a customer… It is never okay for somebody to be mean to you, to be cruel to you, to lie to you, to make an example out of you, or to gaslight you.” “We project our light onto these people. We think they know The Things and they have The Right Way and all that stuff. And that's you. You can trust yourself.”
If you’ve been following along on Instagram, you may have caught that a few weeks ago I posted about my decision to cancel my biggest launch of the year. I had just announced Brave Coach Week, which was a joy to run last year and was shaping up to be the same. Off the back of that, I was going to announce the next round of the Self Belief Coaching Academy, the course that’s at the centre of my work and heart. All seemed like it should fall into place. And then… I just wasn’t feeling it.Tune in for my story of what happens when you ditch a launch strategy that just doesn’t seem to fit and embrace the complexity of making decisions that truly align with how you want to show up.QUOTES“Can we dispense with any notion that everything has to be a “hell yes”, or it's a no. We're so much more complex and nuanced than this. Decisions are rarely this clear cut, so if it's not clear to you, nothing's gone wrong.”“It's okay to show up as you are now and to trust that your people will come with you.”“Money comes from our relationships with people. It comes from trust and consistency, but that means that we really need to know who our clients are. We need to know how our thoughtful services and our helpful products make our clients' lives better.”
This episode is a little piece of magic brought to you live from Aotearoa, New Zealand. The day after I landed from the UK, I boarded a Very Tiny Plane in order to spend the day with dear friend and fellow coach, Sammie Fleming.Sammie’s coaching practice is all about supporting creatives, coaches, space holders, and healers to claim their wholeness, leadership and deep confidence with ease and flow.Tune in as Sammie and I give you a peek into our time together, including insights on the crossroads between ambition and intuition, accessing your true desires, and holding space in both your client work and everyday life. You can find Sammie athttps://sammiefleming.com/https://www.instagram.com/sammiesonjafleming/ If you are ready to deepen your coaching presence and advance your coaching mastery, you are invited to consider the Self-belief Coaching Academy. This evidence-based, trauma-informed, ICF-accredited programme is specifically designed for practitioners whose clients are impacted by self-doubt. QUOTES FROM SAMMIE“It's a skillset to be able to be deep in the unknown and hold it without forcing any direction. To navigate your client and really, truly hold them.”“I’m quite disinterested in holding my clients accountable and nowadays. I'm so much more interested in cultivating a fire so strong that they are going to do the thing anyway.”“There's no such thing as the ‘good client’. You don't have to perform for me. You don't have to achieve for me. I'm just going to sit and bask in all of you.”“Abundance comes in many, many, many forms. Including the ability to pot around and drink your coffee slowly. Or be on stage in front of 10,000 people. Or spend an entire month reading all the books you wanted to read all year. Not one of these is more important or valuable than the other.”
In this episode, we are addressing a topic that comes up all the time during Supervision sessions and in training coaches in the Self-belief Coaching Academy: how to go 'deeper' with coaching clients.While the specifics for each of your individual clients will obviously vary, I wanted to spend some time looking at the generalised contexts that tend to be present. And also to know that this is a really, really common question for coaches to ask!I'm sharing three approaches designed to help you access a deeper space with clients. I also share why a desire for new approaches is a great sign that you are evolving as a coach. Let's get into it!  If you are ready to deepen your coaching presence and advance your coaching mastery, you are invited to consider the Self-belief Coaching Academy. This evidence-based, trauma-informed, ICF-accredited programme is specifically designed for practitioners whose clients are impacted by self-doubt. Quotes "As coaches, we can get wedded to our client's goals and we end up coaching around the goal and not the person. We can easily take it as a personal failure if the client doesn’t get to where they want to go. But what if the goal isn’t helpful for the client’s growth? What if the goal changes? What if the client achieves the goal but feels flat and disappointed? When we focus on goals, we can end up solving the wrong problem'."“The reasons that we have protective, resistant behaviours is no accident. They’ve served important purposes. But at some point, we need support to try new ways of doing things, of getting our needs met.”“After the first 100 hours or so of client work, you may have taken your foundational coaching skills as far as you can. You are likely to be feeling curious and ready for more.”
Our coach training equips us with incredibly helpful tools, concepts and approaches, and client work provides the real-world experience of supporting actual humans, most professional coaches find that there is still something missing. And no I don't mean a business coach! We need a different third thing - a learning space that helps us to make sense of everything. Where we can reflect on our relationship with very specific, three-dimensional, paying clients (not theoretical avatars or other trainee coaches).Where we can feel supported and frankly, less lonely in this work (it's super tricky when we work from the kitchen table or the spare room!)And we usually need other resources and choices for supporting clients more effectively (because none of us know what we don't know). As the coaching industry matures, being in Supervision is now recognised as the standard for coaching excellence. And having been in Supervision for a decade, I honestly don't know how any coach does this work without it. I'm delighted to welcome Kris Shepard back to the podcast to chat more about Supervision - Kris is a Life Coach and Supervisor who helps coaches show up authentically with their clients and masterfully hone their unique coaching style. In this episode, we talk through the ins and outs of coaching supervision, and why it should be the first point of call for coaches who are figuring out this beautiful, helpful work. You can find out more about Kris athttps://www.instagram.com/becometheauthorofyourlife/https://directory.iccs.co/united-kingdom/london/supervisor/kristina-sheppard  If you’re interested in coaching supervision with me, a Growth Edge Supervision Circle will be beginning in May. You can click here to find out more and join the waitlist: https://selfbelief.school/supervision/
Urgh criticism is The Worst, isn't it?  Just the thought of it makes most of us clench up. So let's have a peek at what's actually going on.In this episode, we'll explore why we are so afraid of criticism, where that 'urgh' reaction comes from, and what we can do to get more comfortable with what other people think. For this week’s free resource, you can download my recent workshop What will people think?!, which dives even further into how to lovingly detach from other people’s opinions: https://selfbelief.school/podcasts/episode-133/Have a question about self-doubt that you want me to answer? You can submit a question for the podcast right here: https://selfbelief.school/podcast/#question QUOTES“Self-doubt isn't particularly logical or rational. Most of the time we can see that this is not a very healthy belief for me to hold, but somehow, can't go through with an alternative.”“Anyone's opinion of you is first filtered through their own perspective. We have to be discerning about whose criticism is worth listening to”"Every quality is neutral. There is no inherent best or right way; it's all in the context and the nuance between the two poles."
This week my guest Sophie Howarth and I are diving into what it really means to create your own pace in a culture that prioritises faster and more.Sophie is an artist, writer and teacher, whose work is about deepening connection to ourselves, one another and the wider web of life.  We talk thorough ways to tune into your surroundings and get comfortable with going slow, and how Sophie includes and promotes this practice in her own work.Tune in to see just how much you can discover on a pilgrimage within the fabric of your own life! About Sophie Across an eclectic career spanning the arts, activism, social enterprise and government, Sophie has been committed to developing more imaginative responses to our most urgent concerns. Best known as the Co-Founder and first Director of The School of Life, Sophie has also been Curator of Public Programmes at Tate Modern, Faculty Lead at Year Here, Head of Education and Research at iniva, and a Special Advisor on Social Action in the Number 10 Policy Unit. She is also the author of several books including The Mindful Photographer, Street Photography Now and Family Photography Now.You can find out more about Sophie here:https://www.sophiehowarth.com/https://poetrypharmacy.co.uk/the-distillery/online/ Interested in Self-belief School? Here’s all the info: https://selfbelief.school/enrol/ References“Ode” by Zoe Higgins (poem)“I thank you god for this most amazing day”, E E Cummings (poem)If Women Rose Rooted, Sharon Blackie (book)Quotes“Tuning ourselves into noticing brings so much depth, but it can't be done in a hurry. You just can't do it if you're busy getting from A to B in a race.” “Sometimes making peace with all the things undone, all the people that we failed to get back to, all the ambitions that we're not pursuing, allows for this really loving space of just being with what is.”“With that privacy attention, these things that happen without an audience, that aren't shared, that aren't for anyone else except our ourselves and our beloveds. These are the really precious resources that we have.”
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Comments (2)

Cherise Nunez

I completely get this concept; I have a disease that essentially shuts down my digestive system. Since this, obviously, causes weight loss to the extreme that seems to invalidate my being "ill". I can be laying in a hospital bed with ivs in, feeling so very sick and frightened, but I "look so good" so it can't be bad. But it absolutely is bad.

Jun 8th
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Christiann Walls

Just started listening to you and love your interviews and the topics you present in your podcast! Love it!!! Keep up the great work!!

Jun 21st
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