Born to Thrive with Jamie Lee

This is part two of a five-part podcast series on leading Strategic Conversations so you can improve your results and relationships at work. Check out the first episode here.  In this episode, I explain what's at the root of all behavior. When you understand what drives people's behavior and what drives your behavior, it is so powerful, because now you know how to influence yourself and others.  What drives your actions? What drives the behavior of your negotiation counterpart?  You'll learn:  1. What emotion is and the role it plays in driving our behavior  2. The difference between neutral circumstances and thoughts, and how we become biased  3. The thinking that generated $50K then $100K in income for me  If you enjoyed this and would like to learn more about my six-week coaching program, please apply here to set up a quick consult over Zoom. 

I coach smart women to get promoted and better paid without throwing anyone under the bus, manipulating people, or burning themselves out.  How?  I teach simple but powerful concepts that help my clients engage in strategic conversations with a mindset of self-confidence and authentic power.  Over five podcast episodes, I'll be teaching each of these five simple but powerful concepts that you can immediately implement into your life and career so you can get bolder, braver, and better paid.  This episode is about the first and most important concept: Planning with Future Focus.  Three questions I ask my clients to help them with Future Focus is:  1. WHO are you in the process of becoming?  2. WHAT results do you want in the future?  3. HOW can you be your Future Self now?  If you enjoyed this and would like to learn more about my six-week coaching program, please email me at jamie@jamieleecoach.com to set up a quick consult over Zoom. 

I met Amy Auton-Smith at Catalyst Conference in March 2019. She shared a salary negotiation story of how she successfully negotiated a win-win solution when the budget for her position was significantly reduced. I immediately knew I'd love to have her share both her negotiation story and the story of how she started her startup on the podcast.  Amy is a long-term champion of equality and diversity. As CEO of FairFrame, she's working to bring cutting-edge tech and diversity and inclusion research outcomes together to help mitigate the effects of unconscious bias at work. Amy is passionate about helping employers and leaders everywhere to ensure that everyone can achieve their true potential at work. Check out Fairframe.io or on Crunchbase. 

According to research, women's monetary negotiation outcomes improved when they did two things before negotiating:  1. Recalling the last three times they were assertive  2. Imagining that they are negotiating for a friend.  In this episode, I interview one of the co-authors of this research, Julia Bear.  We explored this research, why what and how we think impact our negotiation results, and how we can apply research like this to improve our negotiation outcomes.  Julia Bear is an Associate Professor in the College of Business at Stony Brook University. Dr. Bear’s research focuses on the influence of gender on negotiation outcomes, as well as conflict management in organizations. In her research, she investigates what factors, both individual and situational, influence the gender gap typically seen in negotiation outcomes, and how an understanding of these factors can help to reduce this gender gap in both initiation of negotiation and negotiation performance.  Here's the research (PDF): Negotiating Femininity Other resources mentioned include: HBR article: 10 Myths about Negotiating Your First Salary Book: Women Don't Ask

According to Ivy Business Journal, “Executives and HR managers know that coaching is the most potent tool for creating lasting personal change.”  I think coaching is something everyone should get to test drive and experience first hand to really understand the impact of it.  But if you can't hire a coach (or find a coach-in-training who will coach you for free) the second best thing might be for you to sit in on a coaching session. That’s why earlier this week, I invited leadership coach Eric Kohner, who trained me to coach at the Coaches Training Institute to coach me on my own money beliefs using his leadership framework called the Five Knowledge Centers.  The Five Knowledge Centers reflect: 1. Head - reason  2. Heart - love 3. Gut - intuition and vision  4. Groin - passion and drive 5. Hands - action   Eric Kohner is an internationally recognized executive coach and keynote speaker. He founded eKCosystem, a global corporate training company dedicated to bringing HUMAN BEING into business, because “in today’s highly competitive world, the new hard skills are the heart skills.”  Learn more about Eric's work here: www.ekcosystem.com  Or reach him directly via email here: eric.kohner@icloud.com You can reach me directly via email too: jamie@jamieleecoach.com 

When I first encountered Dr. Loretta's work on Youtube, I was delighted because she has created a valuable body of work that helps us understand the why and how behind our animal impulses that don't always support our human aspirations to be better, to thrive, and to be at peace with ourselves and with the world.  In this special interview, Dr. Loretta helps us see that there is nothing wrong with us -- even if our brains would have us think otherwise because of evolution, neurotransmitters, and socialization. Loretta Breuning is Founder of the Inner Mammal Institute and Professor Emerita of Management at California State University, East Bay. She’s the author of Habits of a Happy Brain, and many other books that have been translated into Spanish, Russian, Chinese, Arabic, French, Turkish and German. Learn more at InnerMammalInstitute.org  To learn more about me (or to sign up for the upcoming free webinar), come to JamieLeeCoach.com 

As a negotiation geek, I love thinking about how the brain impacts our negotiating behaviors. The brain is a fascinating organ. It's the human computer that can process a trillion bits per second. Yet scientists say we've only barely begun to understand how the brain works.  We know a few basic things, like how the brain evolved over millions of years and how some chemical messengers (or neurotransmitters) relay information that trigger thoughts and emotions that drive our behavior. In this episode, I talk about three neurotransmitters: Serotonin, Oxytocin, and Cortisol.  My intention is to raise our awareness about our brains and the impact of these neurotransmitters so we can understand:  Our own impulses at the negotiating table, The why behind how other people react to your ask, and How to create better strategies for success with all this in mind.

In this episode, I share insights on negotiation and leadership from the book Success Affirmations: 52 Weeks for Living a Passionate and Purposeful Life.  In week 17, the affirmation is:  I am asking for what I want and need with a positive expectation that I will get a YES.  Some of the useful tips on asking include:  Ask as if you expect to get it Assume you can Ask someone who can give it to you...  I share my own thoughts, insights, and tips to help you ask for what you want so that you can become bolder, braver, and better paid.  If you'd like to check out details about the upcoming mastermind, come over to https://www.jamieleecoach.com/mastermind Or email me at jamie@jamieleecoach.com 

We all know self-confidence helps you get more of what you want. But how do you get confident if you haven't yet gotten what you want? There's a better way than "fake it till you make it," pretending to be something you're not, or blowing yourself up like a blowfish...  The best way is to generate confidence inside of you, by you and for you. This is something I help my clients do so they can become bolder, braver, and better paid. This episode is a replay of a webinar where I shared five simple steps anyone can master to generate self-confidence. If you'd like to watch and not just listen to the replay, come to www.jamieleecoach.com or email me at jamie@jamieleecoach.com. 

"I'm afraid of losing all my money and becoming a bag lady."  "I think they are going to criticize and rebuke me."  "They will pigeonhole me for what I've done, not what I can do."  Does your brain assume the worst case scenario when it comes to your career and interactions with other people?  If so, what's the impact of assuming the worst? What's the upside and what's the downside?  In this episode, I share:  - my personal experience of assuming the worst and living in survival mode  - two of the "worst case scenarios" that actually happened in my life  - some biases I'm choosing on PURPOSE so that I can thrive, not just survive.  If you enjoy this podcast, you'd enjoy joining me at my upcoming webinar. Come register at www.jamieleecoach.com  Or write me for suggestions, thoughts, and more: jamie@jamieleecoach.com

Clients often tell me that they struggle with setting boundaries at work. The feelings associated with this are resentment, victimhood, and powerlessness.  Here's the good news: It's totally possible to set and maintain boundaries without giving up personal power when you take 100% responsibility for your own emotions and actions. This leads to both self-empowerment and healthy relationships.  In this episode, you'll learn  - How other people and external circumstances don't create our feelings, - How emotional dependency leads to manuals that disempower, and  - The difference between a manual and boundary  If you'd like to register for the upcoming free webinar or to get in touch with me for a trial coaching session, email me at jamie@jamieleecoach.com.  If you'd like to read past podcast transcripts, go to https://www.jamieleecoach.com/podcast

Clients often tell me, “It feels gross to claim value for myself. It feels like bragging. It’s uncomfortable to assign dollar value to my accomplishments.”  In this episode, I dispel a persistent myth -- one that was ingrained in me by the patriarchy from a very young age --  that holds us back from generating real self-worth and authentic self-confidence.  Find out how to generate power, so you can claim value for yourself and become unstoppable as a negotiator.  Here's where you can access transcriptions of previous episodes and get in touch with me: https://www.jamieleecoach.com/podcast Your review on iTunes would be super appreciated!

Out of unconscious habit, I've thought that there's something wrong with me. I've thought, "I'm lazy. I'm not smart enough. I'm not good enough."  Thinking this way had me feeling shame, anxiety, and self-loathing.  This negative mindset did not motivate me to inspired action.  In 2019, I'm committed to breaking this habit, so I can love myself more fully and create more intentionally.  I share my three biggest takeaways from the awesome book "Breaking the Habit of Being You" by Dr. Joe Dispensa (https://www.amazon.com/Breaking-Habit-Being-Yourself-Create/dp/1401938094), which are:  1. Mind Creates Reality 2. Mind Shapes Body 3. To Change is To Think Greater Than How We Feel 

"What the mind can conceive and believe, it can achieve," said Napoleon Hill. What is your compelling vision for a fulfilling life and career? In this webinar replay, I walk you through 12 powerful questions I've asked my coaching clients to help you set some Wildly Improbable Goals (WIGs for short). Why? Because WIGs will: - Challenge your limiting beliefs - or the harpings of your Itty Bitty Shouldy Committee - Inspire you to believe in yourself beyond your situation, socialization, or circumstances, and that, my friends, is POWER - Fuel your courage as you go to make that bold and brave ask in 2019 Go here for the bonus worksheet: https://drive.google.com/file/d/1fNQ-hEHK83n3h7k9QBN650r0Lr3Q9WbN/view?inf_contact_key=3f5d78fd82b019c1d2f8c476606cdc3a Come check out www.jamieleecoach.com for more details on my coaching services and more.

This is a replay of Free Coaching Live session recorded on November 27th, 2018. In this session, I supported one of my clients apply the growth mindset to his career strategy, because learning to negotiate, influence, and lead is just like growing a muscle. With practice and on purpose, you can grow your skills and develop your capacity for more growth. It takes guts, consciousness, and a whole lot of effort. It's not easy, but so worth it. For more details on my coaching services, come check out www.jamieleecoach.com

How do ambitious people actually become bolder, braver, and better paid? By making a contribution. By committing to their life's purpose. By risking their authenticity, even when there's only $500 in the back pocket and not much else, other than a dream. This the story of Klay S. Williams, whom I met at a Dress for Success event in 2016. Klay helps Fortune 500 professionals find their true purpose and satisfaction in four areas of life: Career, Relationships, Spiritual Lives, and Health. He's the founder of Plan A Enterprises, LLC, a full services lifestyle firm. He's also an author, speaker, and host of Plan A Konversations (the podcast) and Bookstr Wellness, a new digital TV show showcasing authors in the mind-body-spirit space.

If you're a human being in, wanting to be in, or who just got out of a relationship, you won't want to miss this interview with relationship coach Aeric Meredithgoujon. Aeric is a visual artist, musician and relationship coach. He lives in Brooklyn with his wife and two kids. In this conversation, Aeric and I explored - How getting married is an exercise in interest-based negotiation - How relationships can have a purpose - The difference between healthy and unhealthy conflict - How different orientations can cause misunderstanding and, what to do about it You can learn more about Aeric here: http://aeric.nyc You can sign up for my upcoming webinars here: https://www.jamieleecoach.com/free-coaching-live

What did you desire for yourself in the past? What did you think and believe in the past that have now become your current reality? What do you believe now? What is your dream for the future? These are some of the questions I answer for myself in this career retrospective introspective episode.

Please enjoy this special replay of Free Coaching Live session recorded on Wednesday, 11/21/18. With a live audience, I shared - My journey in becoming a leadership and negotiation coach helping ambitious women become bolder, braver, and better paid - The distinction between information and insight and the impact of emotions on our actions - The power of self-appreciation for effective self-advocacy for negotiation success Then in the second half, I coached a volunteer through a twenty-minute exercise and helped her strategize and articulate the unique value she brings to her work as a project manager. Check out www.jamieleecoach.com for other replays.

What if you can decide how you want to feel in the future? What if you can use gratitude to fuel your strategic interactions so that you can become bolder, braver, and better paid? In this special episode, I share a quick five-minute exercise that you can do ahead of a networking event to transform how you think, how you feel, and therefore how you show up.