DiscoverThe Gym Rant: Fitness Humor
The Gym Rant: Fitness Humor
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The Gym Rant: Fitness Humor

Author: The Gym Rant

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Hilarious weekly or biweekly warped angry fitness RANTS for everyday gym goers. We “RANT” about common annoyances experienced on a daily basis in the gym. Once a week (sometimes more) we make fun of and discuss fitness & gym stereotypes, workouts, steroids, fad diets, nutrition hypes and MORE! No stereotype is safe, we will hit them all, from every side. Visit us at TheGymRant.Com, Call Us at (916) 365-2528
30 Episodes
“Gym are dead” said the same people that said car dealerships were a thing of the past and that dating online through apps was the answer to singles people’s prayers. Buuuut what happens when you have questions for a car expert ? Does you pre qualification car sales app fulfill that need? What about not having social skills or only taking shoulders up shits for your dating profile? I guess meeting in person and having decent in person skills is actually inevitable isn’t it!?!? SAME FOR GYMS!
How relatable are 99.9999% of personal trainers? How many have actually struggled with body fat!?!? I mean really actually struggled, not just toning some lose extra pathetic amount of “fat”. But were they actually fat though? Truthfully No! Most trainers and fitness professionals have ZERO idea what it means to be fat!
This rant outlines 2 main reasons (combine the 2 for a 3rd reason) why you might hate on steroids. You can always dive deeper in to the weeds but it really does boil down to two reasons why you hate on them. This comes from a place of experience, not just ranting judgement!
FREE? Consumers claim to HATE bait and switch but for some reason swallow HORSE SHIT like Free Fitness Challenges and dig in to the BS pile waist deep and shovel the crap in to their mouths with two spoons. I’m SICK of gyms tricking people in to ASININE inflated membership fees for a “FREE FITNESS CHALLENGE”, WAKE UP PEOPLE!!
Join me on my RANT about the REAL concerns with new memberships, New Year Resolution gym members, gym crowdedness and the Gym Industry's view on it all. Trust me you will be surprised, you may not hear the ranting and bashing on what you think you would!
Envy feels like SHIT and will eat your soul! We go in to how destructive this is and how it takes over people when seeing success, fitness results or upswings in careers paths. Dive in to a long over due RANT about Envy, Pride & Corporate Assholes in the gym. 
Bitches Be Crazy!

Bitches Be Crazy!


Join the Big Booty Barbie and I on a Rant about girls (& guys) acting insecure when a significant other starts working out. We cover examples of things that are said, crazy sh*t that's said and what our opinion is on it! We also get off track about how Instagram & Social Media may be to blame for the insecurities women and men have with their partner going to the gym! The Big Booty Barbie doesn't hold back this time, as if she ever does! Enjoy and RANT ON!
In this episode we attack proper personal space and proper etiquette when choosing gym equipment & machines. This was brought on by a final weird experience recently in a big box gym. People, stick to your own personal space and stay out of each others if you can help it!
This will be one of many "Instant Therapy" bonus episodes that will be released. During these Instant Therapy sessions it is our goal to give it to you straight, trim the fat, not sugar coat anything and give you tangible opinionated theories that just might help some people out. No mumbo-jumbo self help crap or ooshee-gooshee junk to make you feel warm and cozy from the snowflake type feelings you have been feeling. Get over it! Congratulations, you're cured!
Special episode featuring "Hashtag Pound Sign Not Ractist Irish Ryan" and his wife "Christine Killa-Mutha-Fugga Bolen"! We try our best to stay on topic in the new gym studio but too many cocktails may have prevailed! We discuss Locker Room Etiquette, male ball/crotch scratch techniques (such as the pinch & pull), locker room skanks, self conscious silicone wannabes and more! We don't stick to much of any subject and have a fun time doing it! If you want a good laugh tune in to this longer than normal Drunk With Friends Gym Rant!!
RANT WHILE DRIVING! ANGRY Bonus Episode! Join me on this last minute, random RANT which was recorded from the car during one of my morning commutes! I just heard one bullshit excuse too many and finally lost my shit!! There is always time to work out! Always time to exercise! There is never an excuse not to, so quit your bitching and stop giving me excuses!
Controversial stuff here! You wanted it and now you got it! Join this RANT topic about STEROID use with Cops, Law-Enforcement & First Responders! Visit us at and follow us on Facebook & Instagram @TheGymRant !!!
Planet Fitness Review

Planet Fitness Review


Here we go! Another loaded episode for you! This episode comes at a request from a listener to give an opinion on Planet Fitness, they assumed that I would like the way Planet Fitness practices business. Well, in this episode I let Planet Fitness have it with some of my opinions as well as give positive feed back for things they do right. Planet Fitness is known for some hypocritical practices as well as being the #1 commercial fitness facility to be made fun of. This episode is full of a lot of good info, not just criticism!
BONUS RANT ALL! In this BONUS RANT you hear opinions on whether STEROIDS or Performance Enhancing/Performance Image Enhancing Drugs is considered cheating. Brought on by some engaging conversations over coffee after the gym with some really good people!! RANT ON ALL!!!!
Holy crap! Who else is sick of women thinking they're being hit on in the gym? This RANT is about all that and more! Being notified that you left your phone on the machine is not some guys way of trying to hit on you! Get real!!!!!! You are not being flirted with, you are not being hit on, do NOT flatter yourself!
This episode dives in to the frustrations experienced with the severe lack of basic STEROID use identification & education! Join me on my RANT down the road about the ridiculous assumptions people make about people OBVIOUSLY on STEROIDS. Just because someone isn't MASSIVE it doesn't mean they aren't on STEROIDS, just because someone isn't RIPPED it doesn't mean they aren't on STEROIDS, just because someone is "skinny" (per say) it doesn't mean they aren't on GEAR! I also do some audience Q & A. This is a fun more "laid back one person discussion" RANT and I hope you enjoy!
Today we RANT and dive in to the over used, watered down term- "HACK"! Everything is a HACK now? Click bait ads everywhere are using the term "HACK" to draw in crowds to everyday useless (or novice at best) supplements, diets, workout routines and online training. It is all a hack of SH!T these days!
Dad Bod? Is there even one solid definition of what a Dad Bod officially is!?!? We're SICK of hearing the term Dad Bod! Join us for a RANT about this STUPID term which is being thrown around all over social media, receiving video attention on YouTube and more! The ladies get hit HARD with some straight up TRUTH too!
Gym Crew Douchebags

Gym Crew Douchebags


This RANT got a little angry! Join me on my RANT on Gym Crews Vs Workout Partners, the difference and what makes Gym Crew Douchebags! I lay it on THICK for these loud idiots in their matchy matchy coordinated outfits!
Hotel Gyms SUCK!

Hotel Gyms SUCK!


24hr Fitness Center my ASS!!!! Join me on my RANT about the hotel industry's BULLSHIT claims to have a "24hr Fitness Centers" at their lodging institutions! We all know 8 out of 10 hotels that claim to have a "Fitness Center" have some BULLSHIT excuse for a gym or even a exercise room! For those of us who travel this REALLY SUCKS BIG TIME!!!!!! Please be sure to visit us at !!!
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