A Community Thread

Big thanks to Sheila Dunn for recommending Travis to participate here. I've actually known Travis for a year or so. We met through his wife, Emily, and I believe she initially wanted us to meet because of our sharing an interest in disseminating information via podcasts. Travis makes a podcast called Modern Folk and seems to have a pretty significant interest in living better and more thoughtfully. Travis also participated in a small group of folks I asked to gather together last year with the focus of giving me some advice as this project moved forward. It was so great that Sheila brought his name up. And their particular thread of referrals happens to be the longest one to date — 14 other people referred each other down this line that ended up landing me at Travis' door. We have a great conversation here and I am so glad to share it with you. In the end, Travis starts interviewing me, too, which isn't exactly the norm. If you can, I recommend listening to this one as the back and forth aspect of our conversation and the tone and cadence and sincerity and smiles and laughter and even some tears seem to all be understood better through the ears than through the eyes. However you take it in, though, I do hope you'll be challenged and inspired.

I recently had the honor of chatting on the radio with Shanti O'Connor, whose interview you may remember from earlier this year. Shanti cohosts a show on KPOV, the local radio station here in Bend, Oregon. At the time of this recording the program was called Voices from the Margins, but it is transitioning to Curiosity Lab, so if you are inclined to seek it out, be sure to keep an eye out for either name. As the A Community Thread interviews have come to a close for this year, I thought this might be a good opportunity for listeners to hear some of my thoughts in response to someone else's questions -- a bit of a role reversal -- as a way to learn more about this project. Thanks so much for listening. And happy holidays! 

This is the 50th and final interview for this year and the 160th interview overall for A Community Thread. I owe a huge thank you to Leslie as it is unlikely I would have met Tyler without her. I first met Tyler, who is Leslie's husband, when I showed up at their house to interview Leslie earlier this year and that was the beginning of what has turned out to be a very lovely friendship with both of them. Tyler and I have spent many hours on many occasions in genuine conversation over the course of this year and I have come to value his opinion and outlook and admire him as a man and caring human. Because of our time together and what I have come to know of Tyler, I invited him to be the final interview for this year. So, a big thank you and a big hug to him for graciously accepting. I am honored to introduce him to you here and hope that you will not only find our conversation uplifting but also a catalyst for changes big and small in your own daily practices. I have been churning out interviews weekly for three years now and I have done so without taking a break to significantly evaluate any effect this is having. In mid-stride, I have been thinking and analyzing and questioning and have accordingly made some tweaks to the questions and some adjustments to my general practices, but I have come to understand that I need to take a little space to not only better analyze my desired outcomes and how to have a greater effect, but also to better understand how to digest all of this information personally. While there may be a lull in posts for a period of time, much will be happening behind the scenes and more will come soon. With all of that said and without further ado, here is Tyler Graham.

I'd like to begin here by offering a tremendous thank you to Shanti O'Connor for connecting me to Becky. We came so close to missing this incredible conversation due to some electronic mail complications, but we managed to recover and I'd say we are all better for it — all, in this case, being you and me and Becky, too. I met Becky at her home in Sisters and she intercepted me outside as I approached her driveway. We immediately went for a short walk to the Wychus Creek, which winds it way through the trees at the end of her street. We talked at length on its bank and chatted about the creek and its eddies as a metaphor for life. I don't fully understand — or maybe it's just that I don't have the most efficient language for it — but there is an almost immediate connection when I meet certain people. And that connection allows for vulnerability and sincerity in a unique and rare way — a way that I don't witness all that often in my daily routines. Perhaps it's a recognition of openness or a spirit-to-spirit (whatever that means to you) vibration. I suppose we all may have different words for it. At any rate, whatever it is and whatever you call it, it was there with Becky. We carried our conversation back to her home and we sat in her kitchen over a cup of delicious and nourishing tea while we prepared to record. I am so happy to offer you that portion of our time together here, but I wish that you could have witnessed our entire exchange. It was full — full of sharing and learning and some laughing and crying. Times like this one continue to amaze me. This connection continues to inspire me. Our capacity for relationship and listening actually maybe be the only thing that inspires me. Our connection with another is the most powerful thing I've encountered and the joy I experience from any other thing doesn't come close to touching it. Thank you so much, Becky, from the bottom of my heart, for meeting me, seeing me, hearing me, and sharing with me.

I've known Sheila casually for a couple of years now and several people have mentioned her name as a potential participant here, but nobody ever officially referred her until now. And I owe a big thank you to Jason Chinchen for finally being the responsible party. Sheila and I sat in her studio and chatted over a cup of matcha about many of the things on our minds. This interview is conversational and relaxed due to our already knowing one another and — spoiler alert — it doesn't offer much by way of figuring it all out or solving the world's problems, but it is yet another example of a couple of concerned individuals talking about what might be best. And I tend to think that the more we thoughtfully engage with one another, the better our chances will be of making some progress. Sheila's a dedicated and skilled painter who is making quite a name for herself, but I'd be willing to bet that her success is due just as much to her intention and heart as it is to her talent and work ethic.

Laura Grayson referred Will to participate here several months ago and at that time Will asked me to reach out to him again "after September", when his schedule might afford him a little extra time. And so I did and he was kind enough to put me on the calendar. We met in a conference room at the Ruffwear and Embark headquarters, where Will serves as the President. This was actually our second meeting — our first being a couple of weeks earlier to chat about another photography project — so I had some idea of what chatting with Will was like and, because of that first interaction, I was really looking forward to this conversation. True to the one form I have come to understand of him, Will chatted with me with patience and attentiveness and offered his perspective on the subjects below with care and sincerity. To say I enjoyed taking with Will would be a severe understatement. Something about the way he says it makes what he has to say resonate with me. I am so grateful to have had this conversation with him face to face and it's an honor to share it with you here.

Skye Kimel referred Krayna to participate here. It turns out that Krayna and I live nearby each other, so it was a treat to go to a home I have passed by several times and meet and chat with the resident there. Krayna met me with a big smile and promptly served me up a cup of hot tea and some bites of dark chocolate and a tour of her home. We sat on her sofa together and chatted about this and that until it seemed as though me might talk about everything before we even started recording. Then we dove in. The following conversation is fairly weighty and existential. Our time together was very warm and sensitive and full of emotion and I am sure you will notice that as you read or listen below. If you are at all inclined to listen, I highly recommend it, as I've chosen to not transcribe in detail every conversational rabbit hole. It's also worth the listen just to hear Krayna laugh at some of my questions. Her's is a kind laugh and one that set the tone for our time together. It's a great pleasure to introduce Krayna to you here. Keep your eyes out for her as she will undoubtedly shine some light on you and your day should you encounter her. You can also be in touch with her through her website.

I'd like to offer a big and warm thank you to Andrew Smith for recommending Jerry to participate here. It's hard to imagine a circumstance in which I would have met Jerry otherwise. I feel very fortunate to have had this time with him today, which was so lovely and sincere and vulnerable and genuine. Jerry lives on a large plot of landed completely surrounded by BLM land with his 100 sled dogs. Jerry's a sled dog racer and a tour guide and the father to Rachael Scdoris, who has experienced a substantial amount of fame for her athletic accomplishments. I've seen a bunch of sled dogs before, but never 100 of them in one setting. And I've never been so up close and personal with them as I had the opportunity to be today. If you listen to the interview, be aware that I inserted some audio of what those dogs sound like between my introduction and the start of our conversation. While it may not be obvious in the recording, please know that the dogs are happy and healthy and wagging their tails. Jerry and I spent three and a half hours together, which is a bit more than is normal, but it still wasn't quite enough. I so look forward to spending some more time with Jerry — learning from his vast experiences and enjoying more wonderful conversation.

Skye Kimel recommended Jesse to participate here. I had heard of Jesse through mutual friends and had even taken a peek at his small-home development, The Hiatus, last winter, so it was a treat to finally meet him. We had a lovely and lively conversation and I left feeling invigorated. I transcribed the bulk of our conversation for your reading pleasure here, but there are some fascinating off-shoots that you'll have to listen to the audio in order to enjoy. I appreciated so much that Jesse's train of thought was often introspective and void of judgment. My guess would be that we could all take a lesson from that behavior… I know I certainly can.

Dayna Taus recommended Shanti to participate here. I had heard of Shanti and even attended a presentation of hers a couple of years ago, but I couldn't quite remember the context and I know we hadn't met, so I was looking forward to meeting her today. I spent the last week in Maine, visiting my family, exploring my old stomping grounds, and generally not thinking too much about this project and really couldn't have asked for a more pleasant reentry than this warm and encouraging and honest conversation. I am so glad to be able to introduce Shanti to you here and hope that you'll find our chat to be inspiring and motivating. If you choose to listen, be prepared for the super abrasive and shocking noise of a weed-whacker near the end of the recording. And if you read instead, please feel free to blame the interruption of Shanti's final thought on that, too.

JJ Riddell recommended Lisa to participate here. It turns out that JJ has been working hard in community activism since at least the 8th grade, which is when he and Lisa met. I'm grateful to JJ for connecting us as Lisa and I had a wonderful conversation together. We spent a few hours together and covered nearly every topic. We chatted for an hour or more over a cup of coffee and an ocean roll before going on record and then revisited a couple of those topics which you'll read or listen to below. And then we kept it going after the interview. Our talking definitely left me with some food for thought. What can we do? Sometimes it feels so daunting, doesn't it? How can we express our concern and compassion in actionable ways? And how do we balance that with some levity? I think about this stuff a lot and I am trying so hard to encourage others to do the same through this project. Is it working? I hope so. I'd like to offer a big thank you to Lisa for her time and candor and her willingness to listen to my perspective and thoughtfully engage in a difficult conversation. I'm sure you've noticed that not everybody is willing to do that.

Skye Kimel recommended Jason to participate here. And I am so glad she did as our time together was so rich. We chatted at Jason's kitchen table over some tasty coffee while in the company of his two three-legged dogs, Rally and Charlie. I felt as though Jason and I connected in a very real way and I am very excited to share our conversation with you here. I hope that you'll find our sincere back and forth encouraging. Jason is a man of many hats and one of them is that of photographer. I always feel a little extra pressure when photographing a photographer, but today that was extenuated by the fact that Jason told me before my arriving that he wanted to photograph me with his medium-format, tintype camera. We had a blast together, which seemed like a meaningful way to mark this 150th interview.

Jess Leblanc recommended Alyssa to participate here. It turns out that Alyssa coaches Jess' daughter through a basketball training program she organizes. So nice that Jess thought of Alyssa and even nicer that Alyssa accepted the invitation! We met at Alyssa's house on her lunch break and talked on her sofa while her big Labrador Retriever, Sawyer, tried his best to participate in the interview - you may recognize his presence as you listen. I would have loved another hour to dive even further into some of the topics we touched on, but I’m grateful for Alyssa’s perspective and hope that what she says will resonate with you, too.

Hunter Dahlberg recommended Skye to participate here. They know each other through the blacksmith trade and we ended up meeting in Skye's workshop, marking the second blacksmith shop I’ve had the honor to visit during this project. I so love sitting in somebody's environment with them, surrounded by what they know. I don't know if that is a trait I've always had or one that I've developed throughout the course of this project, but I’m thankful for it either way. It was so fun to chat with Skye in a big industrial space. And I loved hearing her honesty. I don't know if it's why Hunter recommended her, but they definitely share that quality. I cherish authentic conversation and knowing where someone stands on an issue. I especially cherish that when the conversation has back and forth and both people can really hear each other and provide a little room for mind changing. Huge thanks to Skye for allowing that to happen today.

Christy recommended Priscilla to participate here and she reluctantly accepted. Priscilla explained that she didn't feel that she was remarkable or influential enough to participate, but I countered that by explaining that part of my intention with this project is to celebrate and amplify the voice of the everyman/woman. So many of us have thoughts and feelings and ideas, but we rarely have a platform to discuss them in a public way. I am so glad that Priscilla overcame her initial hesitance and I am so very happy to introduce her to you here. Our conversation is real and raw and I have so much respect for Priscilla's vulnerability and sincerity.

Jared Anderson recommended Dorian to participate here. It was obvious through talking with both of them that they have a tremendous amount of mutual respect for each other. I found that connection to be quite moving. I am so grateful to Jared for recommending Dorian to this project as I doubt very much that I would have encountered him in this context otherwise. Dorian and his friends share an aesthetic and a way of life and during the time I’ve spent here in Bend, Oregon, I’ve noticed that this particular lifestyle is one that the people here tend to have trouble with. I’ve been wondering what I can do about it and how I might bridge this particular gap. I’ve contemplated starting another project, dedicated to exploring the clash between the home-owning, car-parking, more conventional consumeristic citizen and the stigmatized less polished transient crowd who may or may not be experiencing homelessness. Well, as it turns out, Jared and Dorian gave me an opportunity to explore this within the confines of this project and for that I am very grateful. I didn’t know anything about Dorian before meeting him today and I went into this interview with the same open-mindedness that I approach all other interviews with. And I have to say, I thoroughly enjoyed talking with Dorian. Sorry to belabor the point, but please withhold your judgments about those who might look different than you. Have a conversation. I bet you that you’ll learn something and be better for it. I wanted to point out that early in our conversation Dorian asked how I felt about swearing. I told him it didn't matter. And with that, there are a few more swears in this interview than in most. But, frankly, it shouldn't be swearing that offends you at this juncture with all the wild and shocking atrocities going on and the incredibly violent, racist, homophobic, and generally divisive rhetoric that ceaselessly plagues our senses. Also, Dorian's cat, Yin Yang, hung out with us for the entirety of our conversation and you may hear evidence of her throughout.

Kevin Kraft recommended Gregg to participate here. He accepted and invited me to his home and we spent about an hour on record at his kitchen table chatting about maybe not all, but at least many of the things. He spoke very highly of his daughter, Ella, who I was delighted to meet after the interview. Gregg homeschooled Ella until high school started and it was really cool to bear witness to their bond that undoubtedly grew during their thousands of hours of teaching and learning together.

Kevin Kraft recommended both Dayna and her husband, Mike, to participate here. They both accepted and I actually scheduled an interview with Mike first, but we ended up talking for five hours without ever getting around to the more formal recorded portion. Then, later that evening, my partner and I joined Mike and Dayna and another couple for the evening and spent another six hours together. So, several days later, and after much thought, I met with Dayna, but not exactly as strangers. The conversation I had with Mike prompted some new material, so this interview with Dayna has a slightly different angle to it. And our conversation was rich despite it being significantly shorter than the marathon chat with her husband. I am happy to introduce you to Dayna here.

Laura Grayson recommended JJ to participate here. Laura and JJ have gotten to know each other through JJ's friendship with Laura's daughter and she had great things to say about his community involvement. We had a wonderful conversation about affecting positive change and I found JJ's perspective on the matter, as an activated student leader, to be inspirational.  When I was 17, I was living in a bubble of extreme Christianity in an economically impoverished part of rural Maine. I know I was thinking about a lot, but I don't think it was about cultural phobias and racism and climate change and mental health. However, those are issues I've become aware of and engaged in since. And after talking with him, I am so curious to know what change JJ's generation will instigate as these are the issues defining this time and these are the issues they've grown up with. I'm sure JJ is a stand-out example of his generation, but my interaction with him did inspire some feelings of hope that there are more eager young folks looking to influence big change. 

Amy Hoag recommended Jared to participate here. He readily accepted and we made plans to meet at his home  - a serene spot on a creek just a little outside of Bend proper. We dove into a big conversation before we started recording, which didn't feel at all like a typical back and forth conversation, but more of a search and rescue - a mission to uncover some of the deepest of emotions. What is the anger? What is the sadness? What is the frustration? What do they represent and where might paying attention to them bring us? I could have spent the day talking with Jared. In fact, he even offered to just scrap the recording and continue talking. Fortunately, for the greater benefit, I didn't take him up on that. We did continue talking on record, though, and I encourage you to listen to our conversation below. I transcribed much of it, as you'll see here, but there are some really wonderful parts that are better suited for listening.