Recipe for Disaster

"Other movies have something to say about life and the human condition. This movie says, 'buys something you fucking fool.'" BONUS EPISODE TIME!!! We rented Ready Player One just as a normal weeknight thing to do and hated it so much that we decided to share it with you. We can't believe that this movie actually exists and that there were people that actually enjoyed it, and now it's difficult to go on living knowing that we've given money to this trash heap of "remember whens". At the very least, we enjoyed the Italian desserts from Angelo Brocato's and Rachael's Homemade Kombucha, but no beverage can wash away the shame of having wasted two hours and twenty minutes watching a neckbeard jerk off onto the audience. --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/recipefordisaster/support

"Billionaire beats up the mentally ill for a private prison he helped fund. America!" BONUS EPISODE TIME!!! We had some extra time this weekend, and surprisingly, it was Rachael who suggested we spend an entire day watching and experiencing various versions of Batman! We pour the requisite amount of love onto The Animated Series, discuss problems with the Arkham series of video games, place Tim Burton's Batman above Chris Nolan's The Dark Knight, and tie almost everything back to The Long Halloween. Delicious peanut butter brownies make everything better though. --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/recipefordisaster/support

"How has Kel not been fired? Think about the food waste involved in swimming in a milkshake machine." Rachael and Jordan finally get around to watching a Nickolodeon movie with Good Burger starring Kenan and Kel! Is Kel responsible for his actions? Is it better to burn out quickly or stay past your prime in the modeling profession? Did Sinbad spend time in the brig? These are all questions that Jordan frustrates Rachael with while they eat Honey Almond Mini-Cakes. --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/recipefordisaster/support

"You have to ride all the baby rides when you're poor, and watch everyone else have fun." Rachael and Jordan delve into capitalism and its effect on masculinity while watching another bizarre pedo-fantasy: Blank Check. Rachael makes a chocolate tart, which sparks a debate about the different species of desserts, and the movie brings up discussions of childhood dreams. Jordan dreams of money, Rachael dreams of having always been a centaur, and everyone dreams of a world without Pauly Shore. Chocolate Tart Recipe: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1NuvGfZAlnUWUyexJEAJBcDcbrcqDaf017f10bOv3Ue8/edit?usp=sharing --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/recipefordisaster/support

"Did you hear about that dick-sucking machine down at the wharf? You give it a quarter and it grants wishes!" Is Tom Hanks a manic pixie dream boy? Rachael and Jordan watch Big, a 1988 "comedy" that makes them discuss topics they'd rather not discuss after watching a family movie. Topics include whether or not this movie portrays pedophilia, whether or not Tom Hanks performs cunnilingus, and if he can be trusted. Bonus conversation about how you can't take Chris Kattan to a nice restaurant, or anywhere for that matter. Recipe for Cinnamon Cookies with Maple Pecan Frosting: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1BVxefxxd8ayDgkQHRTaQ2R_rdGNM0WLFbZYgdJvNbVc/edit?usp=sharing --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/recipefordisaster/support

"As you lay your head down to slumber, remember that Bob Hoskins has been watching you from the other side of the silver screen for decades." Who Framed Roger Rabbit turns out to be a pleasant surprise in more ways than one while still being problematic. Rachael and Jordan get onto a tangent about how much they hated Annihilation starring Natalie Portman, but eventually get back on track and discuss policing in America. Indulge yourself with Cookie Cheesecake Bars while you bask in a societal problem that hasn't changed in over 30 years! Recipe for Cookie Cheesecake Bars: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1Mkw-wWg5o0m9_JaVGfWFXmpDhutsLJqW5B0n2cZr0sY/edit?usp=sharing --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/recipefordisaster/support

"Some people don't want Idris Elba to play James Bond because they don't want James Bond to be black, but I don't see why they don't care about James Bond being such a dick to women." Oh boy. There's a lot to say about a character who is just straight up a "sexist, misogynist dinosaur", as Judi Dench so sternly puts it. Rachael and Jordan talk about the problems of James Bond, including the poor role model he is for young men and their emotional expression. Also, cinnamon rolls! Recipe for Cinnamon Rolls: https://docs.google.com/document/d/12MwFBgdOljsGRVRFLg7PU7PnH06pVApQ5E0xJ0JoNQ0/edit?usp=sharing --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/recipefordisaster/support

"Everyone's a LITTLE BIT racist." For the unlucky 13th episode, enjoy as two white people talk about what is an isn't racist or otherwise problematic in Mel Brooks' 1974 classic, Blazing Saddles. Jordan names his penis, and Rachael makes blueberry shortcake. It's a podcast for the ages! Recipe for Sugarfree Blueberry Shortcake: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1Op1dGv5n9wID7MblPrB78Y-wBEkbE2e4sqLecWZs644/edit?usp=sharing --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/recipefordisaster/support

"'That was a great game', the cutest Lost Boy says as he and his friends wave goodbye to Peter. Meanwhile, Rufio's body is getting devoured by crows on the poop deck." TW: In this episode, we briefly discuss in detail the allegations against Dustin Hoffman. Our discussion occurs near the beginning of our intro segment for the movie and is a relatively short description of nonconsensual sex acts alleged to have been performed by Hoffman. In this episode, Jordan and Rachael sit through two and a half hours of mediocre Spielberg. They discuss the awkward sexual and romantic tension for Granny Wendy and tonal inconsistencies that place fart jokes next to murdered pre-teens. There's also a more serious discussion related to separating the art from the artist and allegations of sexual assault. Plus, Rachael makes some amazing homemade sugarfree Nutter Butters. Recipe for Nutter Butters: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1HwQxPYBWtzujyY_V8XVZ2EvI-gAo7GJhA31yEvTDpuQ/edit?usp=sharin --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/recipefordisaster/support

"The message of this movie is 'Nice guys finish last, but they don't deserve to, bitch.'" In this episode, Jordan and Rachael discuss some of their sexual awakenings from puberty, both of which involve Cameron Diaz. They determine that The Mask was made for a very specific audience and argue over whether Darth Vader could beat Saruman in a wizard battle. Yeah, this episode got a bit off track, but the Chocolate Lava Cakes bring everything home. Sugarfree Chocolate Lava Cakes Recipe: https://docs.google.com/document/d/16vaCnOiTFlak07nUsq2ySUlfi64FYUF_6eXVvpvqqaI/edit?usp=sharing --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/recipefordisaster/support

"Fuck, Marry, Kill: I'd fuck Dan Aykroyd, marry Harold Ramis, and kill Bill Murray." We made it to our 10th episode! In this episode, Jordan and Rachael watch a mediocre movie that has a real problem with women. Yes, they discuss the all-female cast reboot, and yes, they talk about whether or not it's OK to send death and rape threats to women (SPOILER ALERT: it's not). At least the sugarfree Coconut Chocolate Chip Cookies are delicious! Recipe for Sugarfree Coconut Chocolate Chip Cookies: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1ChNoPGkhR_sLFOUMo3KfkB5p9MxrzK0BreuodHCRymM/edit?usp=sharing --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/recipefordisaster/support

"Get Gollum off the drugs and into a treatment program and he'll look like Andy Serkis again in about 4 weeks." In this episode, Rachael picks the animated Hobbit movie to share a piece of her childhood with us. There are talking animals and lessons on empathy, of course, and obligatory comparisons to Peter Jackson's LOTR and Hobbit trilogies, both of which Jordan and Rachael were disappointed in. To top it all off, Rachael makes homemade Ding Dongs! Recipe for Homemade Sugarfree Ding Dongs: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1q4AiFjwdO4RinXfDONhVBgTu1_oX7FxvVNL8S8LOjCo/edit?usp=sharing --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/recipefordisaster/support

"Greed, capitalism, guns, and Space Jam." Jordan and Rachael talk for way longer than they thought they would about Space Jam. They get into income inequality, the problems with uninformed investing, and whether or not Whitesnake went to heaven, all because of a movie about space aliens that play basketball against Michael Jordan and some cartoons. They also eat a delicious sugarfree lemon meringue pie. Recipe for Sugarfree Lemon Meringue Pie: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1wZXREuS9DZ3YIzCMHtDDOtJNIxDy_zrisV9uaPnivqE/edit?usp=sharing --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/recipefordisaster/support

"There are a lot of dickheads in this movie. Like, literally, heads of dicks." Holy codpieces, Batman! Rachael and Jordan do things a little differently this week and watch a movie suggested by a reviewer on Apple Podcasts. It's also Jordan's birthday, so the sugar free bit goes out the window this week. White Chocolate Raspberry Cheesecake Recipe: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1udjbM_zt-KP-FkPP4Gix_Zu_M4vBVSxBxW2cx52QFQA/edit?usp=sharing --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/recipefordisaster/support

"Law enforcement should watch Men in Black. That's how you should treat people." This week we get way off course discussing Freddy Got Fingered, Kiefer Sutherland, and Cruel Intentions, but we eventually get around to Men in Black. Jordan learns when to shut his trap, and Rachael pulls a name out of a hat to decide who will pick the movie we review next week. Sugarfree Yellow Cake Recipe: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1Pj2wlYb1rI9ySgN4CmN2dE-Bnm9y3O1tQo_0vitlU8k/edit?usp=sharing --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/recipefordisaster/support

"Life is like a box of chocolates, you never know what you're gonna get. You might get molested, or die alone on a beach in Vietnam, or get your legs blown off, unless you're Forrest Gump, then you get millions of dollars for being an idiot." For this Memorial Day episode, Jordan rambles incoherently about how our military is treated and Rachael carefully explains how people with disabilities are often dismissed or put on a pedestal. Her Sugarfree Chocolate Chip Cookies are delicious, but Forrest Gump is an unbelievable travesty that once again brings up Robert Zemeckis' sanitation of dark events in our history. Enjoy! Sugarfree Chocolate Chip Cookies: https://docs.google.com/document/d/12r6rwQCzBP3qIvt9dVm37VqdFE1YV1G8QtQlsl5OpHU/edit?usp=sharing --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/recipefordisaster/support

"I am sporting a tremendous woody right now." In this episode we flip the script by having our best friends, Phil and Kami, as special guests! We watch the 1986 classic Short Circuit, and quickly remember why it's not still in all of our hearts. Spoiler alert! There's a major character in brownface! We also drool over Rachael's sugarfree chocolate ice cream with chocolate covered coconut clusters and discuss tort reform. Sugarfree Chocolate Ice Cream with Chocolate Enrobed Coconut Clusters: https://docs.google.com/document/d/14SaXRrVb2Th7JZTotNiiEdnVE6nkLlyHomhNahK5z7Y/edit?usp=sharing --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/recipefordisaster/support

"We will eventually forget about The Sandlot." In this episode, we remember our childhoods fondly by watching The Sandlot, and Rachael makes an amazing Cappuccino Mousse. Jordan tells a story about poop and Rachael points out the differences between rural and urban childhoods. Keto Cappuccino Mousse Recipe: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1SWT704tAdSW3EbYcJRY0w76AQGfdR8aJWYxUHqgC1kU/edit?usp=sharing --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/recipefordisaster/support

"You can't know a monkey's intent!" In this episode, Rachael and Jordan watch Indiana Jones and the Raiders of the Lost Ark while eating a 100% sugarfree salted caramel cheesecake. They debate the morality of Nazi monkeys and anxiously await the release of an all-female cast reboot. Recipe: Follow the link below to a Google Doc of Rachael's Sugarfree Salted Caramel Cheesecake! https://docs.google.com/document/d/1jwBAbvThgrlL-ZtPZDlVe5aIaC387YYlQjX74p_57yA/edit?usp=sharing --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/recipefordisaster/support

The very first episode of Recipe for Disaster. In this episode, Jordan forces Rachael to watch the 1985 classic Back to the Future, and Rachael "forces" Jordan to eat some (almost) sugarfree peanut butter chocolate cupcakes. The Recipe: Follow the link below to a Google Doc of Rachael's Low-Sugar Chocolate Peanut Butter Cupcakes with Mascarpone Coffee Buttercream Frosting! https://docs.google.com/document/d/1RugqOLYrDaKeF9FfP4cq-Uy8opKNYB-9pUnjOp-R3uo/edit?usp=sharing --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/recipefordisaster/support