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What To Expect When You're Healing
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What To Expect When You're Healing

Author: Mags Thomson

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Welcome to What To Expect When You're Healing (formerly SwanWaters Healing Podcast) your guide to self-empowered healing in the aftermath of abuse.

We'll help you gain insight, learn practical skills and navigate your healing journey and transform from survivor to thriver.

All the resources and ideas shared here and on the SwanWaters website are based on our personal experiences and learning.

Swanwaters.com is a place where you can meet your peers for support and advice: http://swanwaters.com
77 Episodes
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In today's episode I respond to a quote I found recently: “Inaction breeds doubt and fear. Action breeds confidence and courage.” Dale Carnegie - Fear and insecurity can freeze us into place - Fear will not go away by staring at it - You can start with the smallest possible steps - Being successful at the small steps starts building your confidence--- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/swanwaters/message
I recorded this 30-minute podcast a few years ago. In it, I share my own story of becoming conscious of the abusive situation I was in, and how that lead me to cut all contact with my family. Want to learn more about escaping an abusive situation? Check out this free Healing Academy module: https://swanwaters.com/preparing-escape-abuse/--- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/swanwaters/message
This podcast was originally recorded in 2015. This is part 2 of 2.Being a parent is never an easy thing to do, and co-parenting after a divorce is even harder. But co-parenting with a toxic person? It is probably impossible... Still, there are ways in which you can make the best of an extremely difficult situation.Aubrey Cole and Stephen, who we first met in their podcast about toxic romance, share their experiences. They highlight some of the challenges co-parenting with a toxic ex and give hand-holds on how to meet these challenges.--- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/swanwaters/message
This podcast was originally recorded in 2015, and is part 1 of 2.Being a parent is never an easy thing to do, and co-parenting after a divorce is even harder. But co-parenting with a toxic person? It is probably impossible... Still, there are ways in which you can make the best of an extremely difficult situation.Aubrey Cole and Stephen, who we first met in their podcast about toxic romance, share their experiences. They highlight some of the challenges co-parenting with a toxic ex and give hand-holds on how to meet these challenges.--- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/swanwaters/message
 When we are addressing triggers and trying to heal from traumatic experiences, we need to change the stories we tell ourselves. Have you ever had an extremely emotional response to something that turned out to be pretty trivial? Well, looking back at that moment, you can probably reconstruct the story you told yourself. They often go something like this:Better not forget my bag on the bus Yeah, you're going to forget that bag, and it's going to cause problems You can't be trusted even to bring along your husband's thingsSee, you're a failure at EVERYTHING You are worthless!Or at least, that's how my brain would respond to such a thing happening. Of course, you won't forget the bag... but it's a rabbit hole.So, how do you stop that story of doom from running through your mind every time something unexpected happens? That's what today's podcast is about. Mags explains how you can change the stories that are triggered and create lasting change.Main Take-Aways:To change the stories, we have to address how we feel about our triggers. We cannot change from a place of fear.Desensitising is a great strategy, but we can't bully ourselves in that processEncouraging ourselves from a loving compassionate place means taking baby stepsIt also means celebrating all the progress we make --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/swanwaters/message
In the PTSD module in The Healing Academy, I share strategies Aubrey taught me for coping with my triggers. She based those strategies on the work she did in The Dialectical Behavior Therapy Skills Workbook, a resource she still recommend to anyone dealing with PTSD and other high-stress situations.Here are five life-changing lessons Aubrey got from this book, and my (Mags) reaction and viewpoints on those.If you want to read along with Aubrey's writing, you can find it here:  https://swanwaters.com/aubrey-learned-managing-triggers/ --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/swanwaters/message
In this podcast Aubrey and Mags (under her previous screen name Monkey) talk about everything from what it is, to how it can manifest.Links to Resources:Effects of Domestic Violence by the Joyful Heart Foundation.And also important to remember is that “violence” does not have to include a physical violence. Remind yourself again of the Definition of Domestic Violence.The Podcast episode that Aubrey refers to at the beginning of this episode is here:  https://swanwaters.com/adverse-childhood-experiences-affect-your-health-and-relationships/ Do you want to learn more about PTSD, how it can affect you and how you can cope with triggers and flashbacks? Check out the PTSD module in The SwanWaters Healing Academy: https://swanwaters.com/your-brain-on-ptsd/--- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/swanwaters/message
E73 - Building A New Life

E73 - Building A New Life

2019-06-0200:04:37

Note: This audio was recorded as a Facebook Live, and it's not the best I've ever recorded. However, I felt the message was worth sharing. When leaving abuse, we undoubtedly leave a whole life behind. We have to redefine so much of who we are and how we do things. It can be overwhelming. In today's episode I talk about how you can take charge of your transformation and healing.Main Take-Aways* Becoming self-aware helps us better manage our emotions* Taking charge of the things you control, will take away some of the fear and annoyance about the things you can't.* The more we feel we are responsive, rather than reactive, in our life, the more resilient we feel and the more positive choices we can make--- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/swanwaters/message
However hard you try, however much you prepare and try to control your circumstances, even under the best of circumstances, your life is not going to be perfect. Main Take Away:* Just because things are not the way you'd dreamed, or wished, or imagined, doesn’t mean they are not enjoyable, and memorable.* Instead of focusing on the imperfection, focus on the unexpected fun that the solution created. Or how the mistake highlighted something great about your life.--- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/swanwaters/message
In this episode of the Pint-Sized Healing Podcast, Mags discusses the way that we can be our own worst enemies (and that we need to be more compassionate toward ourselves in our healing journey).Many survivors find it easier to show compassion to other people than they do to show it to themselvesThe more we repeat loving messages to other people, the more we hear them and can apply them to ourselvesHelping others enables you to heal yourself--- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/swanwaters/message
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