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Blank String

Author: Blank String

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This is the Blank String podcast, staring Luke, Tim and Matt as they talk about things and stuff and junk and things.
83 Episodes
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We continue the D&D adventure. Luke taking the helm as an inexperienced Dungeon Master, Matt playing the not too bright yet highly dexterous Half-Orc Ranger named Thodus and Tim playing Lesleigh the Dragonborn Warlock who will, out of nowhere, go from placid to insane in an instant. They meet a Halfling named Eddie who is guiding them on their initiation where they will have to find some Wisdom Jade, an ingredient used by the Blank String faction in the manufacturing of wishes. The only snag is, they can only harvest it from Troll scat in the Troll reserve up the side of Moutain Lion Mountain.
Luke is leading Matt and Tim on the journey into the unknown. A magical world filled with paper, pen, dice and... wait it's all digital? It is still the ultimate level of nerdiness requiring imagination and wit to solve puzzles, kill monsters, save the world and fall in love (probably)? Luke, as the Dungeon Master, helps Matt and Tim design their first D&D characters. As you guessed they made sensible decisions would really help them get through some complex problems and solve some expertly designed puzzles... What do you mean he has -1 intelligence? She is from HR? Is there an HR department in D&D? Putting all that aside, we love it and hope you do as well!
Luke, Matt and Tim power on through the latest phase of the MCU movies in an epic style. There are some absolute belters in this phase including Black Panther, Guardians of the Galaxy 2, Thor: Ragnarok and 2 Spiderman movies! So whether you have agreed with us or not, it does not matter because the best is yet to come. Much like the ending of phase III of the MCU, listen to the anti-climatic ending of the review of these blockbuster movies. If you are a true fan then you will flip a coin and if you get heads, skip to the end of the episode and claim that you missed it all because of the blip. Luke apologises for the quality of his audio in this episode, he has no idea what went wrong.
After Luke's low score reviews and Tim's high score review and Matt's a little bit lower than Tim's we decide to continue with Phase II of the MCU. There are some belter movies in Phase II and we all finally agree on at least Guardians of the Galaxy to be one of the best Marvel movies (if not the best). Like last time if you do not want to hear any spoilers for these movies then please skip this episode. If you feel like you want to compare you opinion against these three (not) experts then have a listen of this episode.
After Luke finished binging all the movies in the MCU he is now ready to give his opinion. Both Matt and Tim have previously seen them all and this makes for a fun trip down memory lane for them. Luke has a lot to say about these movies which are loved by so many people. If you have not seen the Marvel movies before and do not want any spoilers I suggest you go watch them, most are on Disney+. Otherwise listen along, see if they are something you would like to watch if you haven't or compare your own review with ours.
Luke, Matt and Tim continue their quest for knowledge, for power, for glory and honour on the terrific game Zork. Many twist and turns along the way, a surprising plot twist which no one expected. They don't make games like they used to. Join us in what is most likely the finally of the Zork saga.
Luke, Matt and Tim are back in the wonderful world of Zork! In part 1 we die by killing ourselves with a sword. In part 2 we die because a troll hit us on the head. Only Zork knows how the three of us will die at the end of this episode. So if you enjoyed listened to the previous two episodes of a character walking around trying to eat, lick and break everything they see then you are going to enjoy this episode even more!
Join us Luke, Matt and Tim as we continue this exciting retro adventure! Last time we wondered if we could commit suicide, turns out we could with a glowing sword. Instead of continuing our adventure, we started again! This is really like part 1 all over again, but we get further than the first episode so maybe it is part 1.5. Regardless we push on. So please come and join us as we play an 80s video game which we are now addicted to.
Any 80s kid might know about this little gem of a game, Zork. Unfortunately, Luke, Matt and Tim are all 90s kids and never got the chance to play such games. So we downloaded the game published by Infocom and decided we would play through and describe everything in detail to you, the listener. So sit back, relax and listen to the first part of the first Zork game. What do you mean you can't lick everything?
Are you, like Luke, Matt and Tim stuck in lockdown during BBQ season and are just bored of doing things the traditional way, you know, like on a BBQ? Well fear not, we have solved this problem for you by reinventing the BBQ! That's right! We are here to reignite your passion for the humble BBQ. We want to inspire everyone to go into their back gardens and create something delicious. Don't have a back garden, have no fear, this works anywhere is an guaranteed to be a safe alternative to a BBQ. Warning: we take no responsibility for any damage to self, others or property if you decide to go through with this IRL. We will, however, take responsibility for people having a good time and enjoying a great BBQ in less time than it takes to light a fuse.
Whilst Luke, Matt and Tim have been locked up inside they have turned their attention to something which will no longer be the same, no not that, you dirty dog! The Olympics. So we have rectified this situation and created an Olympics which will rival that of the real Olympics. In my head, I can hear Matt say "This is the real Olympics", sure Matt, sure. Everything from quarantine javelin and shot put to the relay race and the COVID-19 chase. I am sure this will take off and if you want to join in, you can! It is free and amazing and we hope to see you at the opening ceremony with your matches at the ready.
Luke, Matt and Tim are still stuck inside like the rest of you. So they take this opportunity to talk about what life will be like once we are all able to wander the streets free as a bird. We also forget to talk about this at the start and talk about Matt's new haircut for 10 minutes and Mrs Matt makes a cameo to force Matt to wear a hat, it does not end well. Hope you enjoy the hovercars in the outside world.
Luke,  Matt and Tim have been affected by this just like everyone else. They thought they would take this time to give everyone some advice on how to quarantine right!
Luke, Matt and Tim managed to make it to the episode you have all been patiently waiting for. The one where we finally become some super filthy naughty boys. The 69th episode and we talk all things sex. It is great and well-informed information about all things sex. We don't mean to kink shame but maybe not we discover not everything is for everyone, not even robot alien on human action. Warning, this episode gets hot hot hot!
The concluding conclusion of the hilarious 3 part series where Matt leads Luke and Tim on a pirate-themed adventure. Last time we finished the adventure Luke and Tim had taken over the ship and for whatever reason, with the help of an alien, sent Matts head back in time to be on the island in a fridge. Now Luke and Tim feel compelled to find out why there was a mutiny in the first place! Will they manage to wrap up the story in a satisfying way? Will Matt introduce several more keys which lead to nowhere and serve no purpose? Definitely. Enjoy this gripping conclusion.
Last time on the Blank String podcast, Matt started some mad ramblings and Luke and Tim ended up surviving a desert island, this time they start where they left off on a ship with no plan or goal in mind other than to cause mayhem and chaos. Don't worry if you don't remember what happened last time, because we certainly don't remember and I am pretty sure a lot changed. If you love pirates, crane, aliens time travel or insane plot then don't miss the next part of another wacky adventure!
Oh No! Luke and Tim have suddenly found themselves washed on a desert island, with no hope and no one to help them. Is this a dessert as in the geographical place or the meal? Will Tim burn things like he always does? Will Luke do something inappropriate? Do they both tear Matt a new one as he tries to weave a foreboding and intricate story with plot twists and turns? Listen to the crazy antics as Matt takes Luke and Tim on a tour of possible cabin fever (not the horror movie, more like the Muppets song).
That's right, Tim is going on holiday (again) and we decided to help him relax and not have to worry about people who might want to ruin his time away. Anyone can do something simple like... carry a gun, but we at Blank String like to believe there is a better solution, possibly more violent solution. So what suggestions do Luke, Matt and Tim come up with to help protect him, Kirsty (the wife) and his possessions? Tune in and find out. Don't forget to share this podcast with your friends, we can be found on most podcast platforms, including Spotify.
Luke, Matt and Tim have just about enough of being heckled and abused on the streets. How do we solve this? Secret service of course! If famous people can hire people to jump in front of a bullet to save them then why can't we? Why stop there? How do we improve this? I still don't know but somehow we do and it costs nothing! Also, if you want to hear some personal accounting advice skip to around 34 mins to hear Matt and Tim talk about money, if you aren't interested just skip around 10 mins of that discussion ;)
Luke, Matt and Tim bring in the new year with a bang. They get together to design the greatest theme park anyone has ever seen. Failing that they make one which makes tons of money. Failing that they make one which has people coming back for more. Failing that they make a hilarious episode with typical Blank String antics.
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