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Blank String

Author: Blank String

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This is the Blank String podcast, staring Luke, Tim and Matt as they talk about things and stuff and junk and things.
69 Episodes
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The concluding conclusion of the hilarious 3 part series where Matt leads Luke and Tim on a pirate-themed adventure. Last time we finished the adventure Luke and Tim had taken over the ship and for whatever reason, with the help of an alien, sent Matts head back in time to be on the island in a fridge. Now Luke and Tim feel compelled to find out why there was a mutiny in the first place! Will they manage to wrap up the story in a satisfying way? Will Matt introduce several more keys which lead to nowhere and serve no purpose? Definitely. Enjoy this gripping conclusion.
Last time on the Blank String podcast, Matt started some mad ramblings and Luke and Tim ended up surviving a desert island, this time they start where they left off on a ship with no plan or goal in mind other than to cause mayhem and chaos. Don't worry if you don't remember what happened last time, because we certainly don't remember and I am pretty sure a lot changed. If you love pirates, crane, aliens time travel or insane plot then don't miss the next part of another wacky adventure!
Oh No! Luke and Tim have suddenly found themselves washed on a desert island, with no hope and no one to help them. Is this a dessert as in the geographical place or the meal? Will Tim burn things like he always does? Will Luke do something inappropriate? Do they both tear Matt a new one as he tries to weave a foreboding and intricate story with plot twists and turns? Listen to the crazy antics as Matt takes Luke and Tim on a tour of possible cabin fever (not the horror movie, more like the Muppets song).
That's right, Tim is going on holiday (again) and we decided to help him relax and not have to worry about people who might want to ruin his time away. Anyone can do something simple like... carry a gun, but we at Blank String like to believe there is a better solution, possibly more violent solution. So what suggestions do Luke, Matt and Tim come up with to help protect him, Kirsty (the wife) and his possessions? Tune in and find out. Don't forget to share this podcast with your friends, we can be found on most podcast platforms, including Spotify.
Luke, Matt and Tim have just about enough of being heckled and abused on the streets. How do we solve this? Secret service of course! If famous people can hire people to jump in front of a bullet to save them then why can't we? Why stop there? How do we improve this? I still don't know but somehow we do and it costs nothing! Also, if you want to hear some personal accounting advice skip to around 34 mins to hear Matt and Tim talk about money, if you aren't interested just skip around 10 mins of that discussion ;)
Luke, Matt and Tim bring in the new year with a bang. They get together to design the greatest theme park anyone has ever seen. Failing that they make one which makes tons of money. Failing that they make one which has people coming back for more. Failing that they make a hilarious episode with typical Blank String antics.
Previously on Blank String... Ash's Pikachu had written a letter to Santa and Ash did not understand. So Pikachu went to the Pokemon Bureau of Pokemon (or some ridiculous name like that) to get help from Matt as Psyduck and Tim as Snorlax, to take his letter to Santa. Jynx, dressed as a drunk Santa at the bar in a Pokemon centre tells them where to find him. Snorlax, Psyduck and Pikachu steal a truck, GTA style and make their way to the North Pole (or where ever Santa lives in the Pokemon World). Now we are all caught up, Matt shut your browser down and focus, Matt... Matt!!!!! Fine, let's continue regardless. Will Snorlax and Psycuk deliver the letter? Will they save Xmas for this small innocent Pikachu? Will Matt follow along with the story? Will Tim find more ways to burn things despite not being a fire Pokemon? Answers to these and more! Have a happy holiday everyone!
Oh My Gosh! Did you play the new Pokemon yet? Luke and Tim have and are super excited about the game and feel the urge to tell Matt all about the amazing features of this game.  After, what can only be seen as a concise and amazing review of Pokemon Luke starts Matt and Tim on their next Pokemon adventure cross annual Xmas episode. Get ready for cheap thrills, spills and a suspect Jynx as they aim to help Pikachu deliver his letter to Santa.
Matt, Luke and Tim are all avid gamers and nothing excites them more than knocking out a quick round of Wii golf or banging some zombie flesh with their shotguns. So let's take a bit of a break from tradition and just have a relaxed episode of 3 dudes who are all pretty much the same age talk about some of the favourite gaming memories and how it all started. Apologies for the audio, Luke could not get access to his normal mic. Hopefully you will enjoy it all the same.
Luke, Matt and Tim have just about had enough of the country they are in. So many things could easily be improved. Instead of working on those things and trying to make their current situation better for themselves and everyone else, they start their own country. So it turns out that starting a country is not all that difficult, especially if these 3 clowns can work it out. We look forward to reading your application to join.
As our journey comes to an epic conclusion, we are left to wonder, how will Matt tie up all of the loose ends he has created? He won't? Well, okay then 🤷‍♀️
Our heroes embark on a perilous quest to find the stolen recipe, but just how many walls made of bread can one person eat?
Matt takes the helm of HMS Blank String and takes the boys on a wild adventure which is about as well planned out as this synopsis. Luke & Tim are a pair of humble bakers with suspiciously vague living arrangements, but when a mysterious stranger visits their bakery their lives are about to change forever! Who? What? Why? Where? And possibly other questions. It's Blank String!
The final epic show down between Godzilla and Pollozilla. Who will become the new best Godzilla? Listen to how Matt continues to mess around with the rules in order to almost make the episode going over into another episode. Also, how Tim, with his classic "burn all the things" attitude, goes ahead and burns all the things. This one is a wild ride!
Not the movie, that is something else. I heard it is better, but who has time verify? In the meantime, Luke has asked Matt and Tim to be God Father to his latest edition to his family. But who is going to be the better God Father? After a series of gruelling scenarios, we have an answer. I would go so far as to say that they are role models to all God Fathers. Let me set the scene for you: Everyone in Theo's family has died in a horrible skiing accident. One of those where you wear a parachute and jump off a cliff; but at the last minute a moose gets in the way and drags you over another cliff and you land in a boat which sails you down some rapids, only to find that you are in a cave. Grrrr! What's that a bear? OH NO! Now a bear is mauling you and you run, holding your dislodged eye in your hand. Then some tourists see you and they are like "how's it going, are you a local?" and you scream in their face "help, help I am dying" and they laugh and say "well come with us, friend". Turns out they are not tourists, they are in fact killer gorillas in human skin outfits. They skin you alive and leave you to dry out with the other humans, then suddenly you are saved by a travelling circus. Because no one knows who you are and you are so traumatised they call you "the man with no skin" and make loads of from your horrible state. Then suddenly you see a woman across the room, you think she is into you and you offer to buy her a drink, turns out it was the bear and he mauls you again Grrr!. You know. Also, everyone else died whilst waiting for you to get back.
The bit you have all been waiting for, the final showdown. In this epic twist, Luke accidentally ticked off Godzilla, and now Matt and Tim have to pay the price? That's right, they jettison to the moon and cook up Pollozilla to put an end Godzilla. It is the glorious last part of... Nope, Matt and Tim took their time as usual coming up with ways to mess around with Luke's rich story and try their hardest to find ways to ultimately mess with the mechanics. Want to see what happens when Godzilla gets a prostate examination using hot hot sauce? Well listen to the end to find out!
In the previous episode Luke, Matt and Tim created their very own Godzilla. It is possibly going to be the greatest Godzilla anyone has ever seen. However in order to prepare for the next episode the gang design a base which will withstand the real Godzilla. I am sure everyone going to Area 51 will want see some of the many defences we have come up with, and if they don't you could get them to listen to this episode. Honestly I am pretty sure they are going to want to upgrade all their services to use Blank String the ultimate defence system.
Luke, Matt and Tim take on one of the greatest and well known monsters from cinematic history. In this first part they analyse, with expert precision, what makes a great Godzilla. Failing that they then design a Godzilla of their own in preparation to stop the end of the world from a rampaging oversized lizard!
Luke, Matt and Tim rack their brains to come up with the greatest start ups of all time. Well at least Matt and Tim give it a good go, who knows what Luke was on during this episode. If you are either a Shark or a Dragon I suggest you take a cheeky listen and invest hard and fast now before we it is too late.
Labour is horrible and 66.667% of the men on this podcast have previously been involved in process. But 100% of the men on this podcast say "now is the time to improve child labour". Introducing the new and improved child labour, it's quick, it's painless and it is risk free! What is it? Well listen and find out how Luke, Matt and Tim work out the next iteration of child labour. Parents-to-be, you're welcome!
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