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Blank String

Author: Blank String

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This is the Blank String podcast, staring Luke, Tim and Matt as they talk about things and stuff and junk and things.
58 Episodes
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Our heroes embark on a perilous quest to find the stolen recipe, but just how many walls made of bread can one person eat?
Matt takes the helm of HMS Blank String and takes the boys on a wild adventure which is about as well planned out as this synopsis. Luke & Tim are a pair of humble bakers with suspiciously vague living arrangements, but when a mysterious stranger visits their bakery their lives are about to change forever! Who? What? Why? Where? And possibly other questions. It's Blank String!
The final epic show down between Godzilla and Pollozilla. Who will become the new best Godzilla? Listen to how Matt continues to mess around with the rules in order to almost make the episode going over into another episode. Also, how Tim, with his classic "burn all the things" attitude, goes ahead and burns all the things. This one is a wild ride!
Not the movie, that is something else. I heard it is better, but who has time verify? In the meantime, Luke has asked Matt and Tim to be God Father to his latest edition to his family. But who is going to be the better God Father? After a series of gruelling scenarios, we have an answer. I would go so far as to say that they are role models to all God Fathers.Let me set the scene for you:Everyone in Theo's family has died in a horrible skiing accident. One of those where you wear a parachute and jump off a cliff; but at the last minute a moose gets in the way and drags you over another cliff and you land in a boat which sails you down some rapids, only to find that you are in a cave. Grrrr! What's that a bear? OH NO! Now a bear is mauling you and you run, holding your dislodged eye in your hand. Then some tourists see you and they are like "how's it going, are you a local?" and you scream in their face "help, help I am dying" and they laugh and say "well come with us, friend". Turns out they are not tourists, they are in fact killer gorillas in human skin outfits. They skin you alive and leave you to dry out with the other humans, then suddenly you are saved by a travelling circus. Because no one knows who you are and you are so traumatised they call you "the man with no skin" and make loads of from your horrible state. Then suddenly you see a woman across the room, you think she is into you and you offer to buy her a drink, turns out it was the bear and he mauls you again Grrr!. You know. Also, everyone else died whilst waiting for you to get back.
The bit you have all been waiting for, the final showdown. In this epic twist, Luke accidentally ticked off Godzilla, and now Matt and Tim have to pay the price? That's right, they jettison to the moon and cook up Pollozilla to put an end Godzilla. It is the glorious last part of... Nope, Matt and Tim took their time as usual coming up with ways to mess around with Luke's rich story and try their hardest to find ways to ultimately mess with the mechanics. Want to see what happens when Godzilla gets a prostate examination using hot hot sauce? Well listen to the end to find out!
In the previous episode Luke, Matt and Tim created their very own Godzilla. It is possibly going to be the greatest Godzilla anyone has ever seen. However in order to prepare for the next episode the gang design a base which will withstand the real Godzilla. I am sure everyone going to Area 51 will want see some of the many defences we have come up with, and if they don't you could get them to listen to this episode. Honestly I am pretty sure they are going to want to upgrade all their services to use Blank String the ultimate defence system.
Luke, Matt and Tim take on one of the greatest and well known monsters from cinematic history. In this first part they analyse, with expert precision, what makes a great Godzilla. Failing that they then design a Godzilla of their own in preparation to stop the end of the world from a rampaging oversized lizard!
Luke, Matt and Tim rack their brains to come up with the greatest start ups of all time. Well at least Matt and Tim give it a good go, who knows what Luke was on during this episode. If you are either a Shark or a Dragon I suggest you take a cheeky listen and invest hard and fast now before we it is too late.
Labour is horrible and 66.667% of the men on this podcast have previously been involved in process. But 100% of the men on this podcast say "now is the time to improve child labour". Introducing the new and improved child labour, it's quick, it's painless and it is risk free! What is it? Well listen and find out how Luke, Matt and Tim work out the next iteration of child labour. Parents-to-be, you're welcome!
Luke, Matt and Tim discuss the last season of Game of Thrones. This episode was recorded early into the season (after episode 2) but will be released well after the last episode has aired. You will be amazed how accurate these three rad dudes are. I mean, especially Matt who was most probably the closest to what actually happened. You will listen to the nonsense that he says and think "what an idiot, that is a dumb ending, no one would want to watch that". That said if D&D had of told everyone the actual ending they would of said the exact same thing.
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