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Blank String

Author: Blank String

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This is the Blank String podcast, staring Luke, Tim and Matt as they talk about things and stuff and junk and things.
76 Episodes
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Join us Luke, Matt and Tim as we continue this exciting retro adventure! Last time we wondered if we could commit suicide, turns out we could with a glowing sword. Instead of continuing our adventure, we started again! This is really like part 1 all over again, but we get further than the first episode so maybe it is part 1.5. Regardless we push on. So please come and join us as we play an 80s video game which we are now addicted to.
Any 80s kid might know about this little gem of a game, Zork. Unfortunately, Luke, Matt and Tim are all 90s kids and never got the chance to play such games. So we downloaded the game published by Infocom and decided we would play through and describe everything in detail to you, the listener. So sit back, relax and listen to the first part of the first Zork game. What do you mean you can't lick everything?
Are you, like Luke, Matt and Tim stuck in lockdown during BBQ season and are just bored of doing things the traditional way, you know, like on a BBQ? Well fear not, we have solved this problem for you by reinventing the BBQ! That's right! We are here to reignite your passion for the humble BBQ. We want to inspire everyone to go into their back gardens and create something delicious. Don't have a back garden, have no fear, this works anywhere is an guaranteed to be a safe alternative to a BBQ. Warning: we take no responsibility for any damage to self, others or property if you decide to go through with this IRL. We will, however, take responsibility for people having a good time and enjoying a great BBQ in less time than it takes to light a fuse.
Whilst Luke, Matt and Tim have been locked up inside they have turned their attention to something which will no longer be the same, no not that, you dirty dog! The Olympics. So we have rectified this situation and created an Olympics which will rival that of the real Olympics. In my head, I can hear Matt say "This is the real Olympics", sure Matt, sure. Everything from quarantine javelin and shot put to the relay race and the COVID-19 chase. I am sure this will take off and if you want to join in, you can! It is free and amazing and we hope to see you at the opening ceremony with your matches at the ready.
Luke, Matt and Tim are still stuck inside like the rest of you. So they take this opportunity to talk about what life will be like once we are all able to wander the streets free as a bird. We also forget to talk about this at the start and talk about Matt's new haircut for 10 minutes and Mrs Matt makes a cameo to force Matt to wear a hat, it does not end well. Hope you enjoy the hovercars in the outside world.
Luke,  Matt and Tim have been affected by this just like everyone else. They thought they would take this time to give everyone some advice on how to quarantine right!
Luke, Matt and Tim managed to make it to the episode you have all been patiently waiting for. The one where we finally become some super filthy naughty boys. The 69th episode and we talk all things sex. It is great and well-informed information about all things sex. We don't mean to kink shame but maybe not we discover not everything is for everyone, not even robot alien on human action. Warning, this episode gets hot hot hot!
The concluding conclusion of the hilarious 3 part series where Matt leads Luke and Tim on a pirate-themed adventure. Last time we finished the adventure Luke and Tim had taken over the ship and for whatever reason, with the help of an alien, sent Matts head back in time to be on the island in a fridge. Now Luke and Tim feel compelled to find out why there was a mutiny in the first place! Will they manage to wrap up the story in a satisfying way? Will Matt introduce several more keys which lead to nowhere and serve no purpose? Definitely. Enjoy this gripping conclusion.
Last time on the Blank String podcast, Matt started some mad ramblings and Luke and Tim ended up surviving a desert island, this time they start where they left off on a ship with no plan or goal in mind other than to cause mayhem and chaos. Don't worry if you don't remember what happened last time, because we certainly don't remember and I am pretty sure a lot changed. If you love pirates, crane, aliens time travel or insane plot then don't miss the next part of another wacky adventure!
Oh No! Luke and Tim have suddenly found themselves washed on a desert island, with no hope and no one to help them. Is this a dessert as in the geographical place or the meal? Will Tim burn things like he always does? Will Luke do something inappropriate? Do they both tear Matt a new one as he tries to weave a foreboding and intricate story with plot twists and turns? Listen to the crazy antics as Matt takes Luke and Tim on a tour of possible cabin fever (not the horror movie, more like the Muppets song).
That's right, Tim is going on holiday (again) and we decided to help him relax and not have to worry about people who might want to ruin his time away. Anyone can do something simple like... carry a gun, but we at Blank String like to believe there is a better solution, possibly more violent solution. So what suggestions do Luke, Matt and Tim come up with to help protect him, Kirsty (the wife) and his possessions? Tune in and find out. Don't forget to share this podcast with your friends, we can be found on most podcast platforms, including Spotify.
Luke, Matt and Tim have just about enough of being heckled and abused on the streets. How do we solve this? Secret service of course! If famous people can hire people to jump in front of a bullet to save them then why can't we? Why stop there? How do we improve this? I still don't know but somehow we do and it costs nothing! Also, if you want to hear some personal accounting advice skip to around 34 mins to hear Matt and Tim talk about money, if you aren't interested just skip around 10 mins of that discussion ;)
Luke, Matt and Tim bring in the new year with a bang. They get together to design the greatest theme park anyone has ever seen. Failing that they make one which makes tons of money. Failing that they make one which has people coming back for more. Failing that they make a hilarious episode with typical Blank String antics.
Previously on Blank String... Ash's Pikachu had written a letter to Santa and Ash did not understand. So Pikachu went to the Pokemon Bureau of Pokemon (or some ridiculous name like that) to get help from Matt as Psyduck and Tim as Snorlax, to take his letter to Santa. Jynx, dressed as a drunk Santa at the bar in a Pokemon centre tells them where to find him. Snorlax, Psyduck and Pikachu steal a truck, GTA style and make their way to the North Pole (or where ever Santa lives in the Pokemon World). Now we are all caught up, Matt shut your browser down and focus, Matt... Matt!!!!! Fine, let's continue regardless. Will Snorlax and Psycuk deliver the letter? Will they save Xmas for this small innocent Pikachu? Will Matt follow along with the story? Will Tim find more ways to burn things despite not being a fire Pokemon? Answers to these and more! Have a happy holiday everyone!
Oh My Gosh! Did you play the new Pokemon yet? Luke and Tim have and are super excited about the game and feel the urge to tell Matt all about the amazing features of this game.  After, what can only be seen as a concise and amazing review of Pokemon Luke starts Matt and Tim on their next Pokemon adventure cross annual Xmas episode. Get ready for cheap thrills, spills and a suspect Jynx as they aim to help Pikachu deliver his letter to Santa.
Matt, Luke and Tim are all avid gamers and nothing excites them more than knocking out a quick round of Wii golf or banging some zombie flesh with their shotguns. So let's take a bit of a break from tradition and just have a relaxed episode of 3 dudes who are all pretty much the same age talk about some of the favourite gaming memories and how it all started. Apologies for the audio, Luke could not get access to his normal mic. Hopefully you will enjoy it all the same.
Luke, Matt and Tim have just about had enough of the country they are in. So many things could easily be improved. Instead of working on those things and trying to make their current situation better for themselves and everyone else, they start their own country. So it turns out that starting a country is not all that difficult, especially if these 3 clowns can work it out. We look forward to reading your application to join.
As our journey comes to an epic conclusion, we are left to wonder, how will Matt tie up all of the loose ends he has created? He won't? Well, okay then 🤷‍♀️
Our heroes embark on a perilous quest to find the stolen recipe, but just how many walls made of bread can one person eat?
Matt takes the helm of HMS Blank String and takes the boys on a wild adventure which is about as well planned out as this synopsis. Luke & Tim are a pair of humble bakers with suspiciously vague living arrangements, but when a mysterious stranger visits their bakery their lives are about to change forever! Who? What? Why? Where? And possibly other questions. It's Blank String!
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