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Author: ArtHoles Podcast

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A recklessly deep dive into art and art history with someone who has absolutely no background in either topic. I work through one artist at a time, focusing on the more...entertaining...aspects of their lives.
27 Episodes
The episode that broke me.  11/28 update: two-parter finale is on the way soon. Apologies for the delay, it's been a crazy few months and anything under 4 hours for the finale would've been a crime.
In a rollercoaster of an episode, we learn about mural negotiations, chicken salad sandwiches that curb masturbation, and which type of gringo is worst.  Along the way, we’ll figure out which type of baby is cutest, how to freak out journalists with candy, and meet a true best friend.   Frida is more of a passenger than a driver in this episode.  In the time period we cover, she begins as a doting wife, roommate, and travel companion.  By the time we’re done, she’ll have tested the boundaries of pain and loss, on her way to becoming someone who  will change the world
While Frida recovers-ish from the accident, she starts down a new path.  This path will take her to a magical place beyond a window, the Communist Party, a Tina Modotti party, and a wedding party.   Diego has a hard time keeping Dieguito in his pants as he makes his move, I tell embarrassing stories, Matilde and Guillermo continue to not talk, missed x-rays are the worst x-rays, and we learn what goes into changing the spelling of your name. And, there are multiple shootings, both of people and electronic equipment.   @artholespodcast
How many daughters is too many daughters? What do you do with the extra ones? Is it ok to cause an old man to fall down a flight of stairs? What if he wasn’t your intended target? We’ll explore all of this and more as we get to know a growing family. We'll also learn that not all of your kids are created equally and you should make sure they know that at every turn, more stuff about legs, why little Timmy isn't in school, what not to do with pets, a first love, Blue Danube, getting down with a librarian, and public transportation. @artholespodcast
Frida Kahlo has become a name synonymous with strength and independence. She was born during a crucial time in Mexico’s history and touched the lives of everyone she met.  She also was ridiculously hilarious in the face of horrifying personal events that would crush the average person. Seriously, this is gonna get depressing. To prepare for our series, we’re taking 8,000 years of Mexican history straight to the face. We start with a bunch of rain, then traverse through a confusing calendar system, a necklace of golden shrimps, a not-so-triste-noche, and “utter tragedy and misery.” Also, some art is sprinkled in. Buckle up as we learn about a Spanish king who hates pajamas and exorcisms, the French getting really ornery over baked goods, and America being on-brand with pretty much everything it does. And, then… Revolución!!! Series Main Sources: Ankori, Gannit. Frida Kahlo. London, 2013. Drucker, Malka. Frida Kahlo - Torment and Triumph in her Life and Art. U.S.. 1991. Fehrenbach, T.R. Fire & Blood - A History of Mexico. New York, 1995. Herrera, Hayden. Frida - A Biography of Frida Kahlo. New York, 1982. Kahlo, Frida. The Diary of Frida Kahlo, New York 1995. Kahlo, Frida. Letters to Mama - You Are Always With Me. Mexico City, 2018. Meyer, Michael C. and Sherman, William. The Course of Mexican History (2nd Ed.). Oxford, 1983. Zamora, Martha. Frida Kahlo - The Brush of Anguish. San Francisco, 1990.
The Don Pepe Incident, a story about Lucy we’d all like to forget, nerd-ceremonies, and a complicated reunion. Then, things get really, really fancy.  We’re finally wrapping up our story in the only way it’ll let us…weirdly. Caravaggio breaks out of prison to reach the one person who will help him. He also makes more bad decisions, paints some stuff, hits the club, and pays the price. @artholespodcast
In a post-Nooch world, a comparatively short period in Caravaggio’s life is jam-packed with a comparatively large amount ludicrousness, so the finale is now a two-parter.What do you do when you’re on the run for murder? You create some of the most important western art of all time, obvi. Plus, you keep acting like an asshole, because you literally never learn.Caravaggio’s road to redemption is a joyful, nostalgic romp through Europe. It starts with a bribe, veers offtrack due to another Johnny Testicle incident, then gets back on track... until it’s interrupted by a church organist and a pirate gun. Because why wouldn’t it.  Also, there’s stuff about art.@artholespodcast
Greg Rotolanti, butter, Fillide, sex-wrinkles, a resolute and purposeful “Jenis,” The Nooch, a magic flying house, and tennis. I honestly don’t know what else to say. I for sure lost it on this one. @artholespodcast
Baglione, Mao, The Nooch... As adversaries emerge, lines are drawn, and words are exchanged. Really, really, ridiculous words with unimaginable fallout.Caravaggio finds a brother figure in Onorio Longhi, even though his actual brother also lives in Rome. Onorio finds his merengue needs unfulfilled, but his hunger for violence satiated. And, Fillide finds out that some moms are checked out a bit early, while some co-workers check in behind your back.Let your porny paintings become more violent, your devotional paintings become more public, and never, EVER let anybody disrespect your Cecco without a reckless attempt at retribution. After all, omnia vincit amore, right?
The new Counter-Reformation mix tape dropped…ya heard? It’s a music-heavy episode, not all of which is appropriate for work. Maybe not everybody’s work, but, most people’s work. Cardinal Del Monte has quite a few guests at the house and people have thoughts. Also, Caravaggio creates some paintings inspired by music, a guy named Francis, and Mario Minitti’s sultry gaze. And, I lash out at more Popes. Take a listen and learn about some terrible surgeries, a lazy investigation by the sbirri, and some memory problems. We also learn that it’s hard to say goodbye, especially when you know you have to. Because, violence.
Caravaggio finds a new home after maybe murdering somebody.  But who would take in such a person?  Turns out, lots of people. We’ll learn about Caravaggio’s artistic developments, including one painting that has a surprising connection to the show!  We’ll also learn that sometimes, having your monkey cared for is more important than rebuilding a city.If you were a genre painting, what kind of genre painting would you be?  Would you have bursting figs and succulent cherries?  Would you be a red-wine-drunk sex god? Or would you just steal stuff?  Just let your Soul Glo, meet a few Cardinal-Nephews, keep your lizard where it belongs, and, of course, watch out for horses.
How many Caterinas is a sufficient number of Caterinas? What’s the appropriate length of a baby Jesus arm?  Is John of Austria the worst? Does a REAL Catholic uncontrollably vomit? These are the questions we’ll tackle together in order to dig into the beginning of Michaelangelo Merisi’s life and career!  That, and, I butcher Italian names, recklessly valuate the scudo, and justify the imprisonment of homeless people on a moated island (sorta). Manner-isn’t…amirite…?
One of the greatest and most enigmatic painters, born into an insane time. He was also a complete nightmare. This is the story of a man whose poor behavior was matched only by his ability to capture the human condition. It's also a story of extreme violence, tennis(?), two weird poems, and ridiculous amounts of enabling and privilege. But, first, our story begins away in a manger... It then quickly flies off the rails when some Roman Emperors make bad decisions, a bunch of popes have rough days, and the fallout after the church’s needs outpace its wallet.  
I feel like the title of this episode really bottom-lines what’s happening here.  Clement Greenberg takes a stand at Jackson’s funeral, Lee doesn’t stand near anyone, and I can’t stand math. We finally get to talk about what Jackson Pollock’s drip paintings are. And for that, we need the assistance of nerds. So let's watch some ocean waves crash, talk about D ratio with Benoit Mandelbrot, and try to measure a coastline before our brains melt. A full series is now officially in the books.  I hope everyone had a blast and learned tons of useless information!
Jackson begins to scare even the most grizzled of Bonacker, Lee starts to assert her independence, and we meet a man named Bootie. So have a chat with a secret prostitute at the Cedar Tavern, discover that sex symbols can come from the unlikeliest of places, and don’t forget to drink your health juice.  Also, we learn more about 1950 East Hampton than you ever wanted to know, an old woman gets treated like a ping pong ball, and Harold Rosenberg writes an article that nobody understands. @artholespodcast
This episode flies off the rails.  Roger $%#$@ Wilcox comes front and center and there’s also a crazy brawl in a mud pit. Jackson becomes ridiculously famous, drops a bunch of c-bombs, and somebody makes a critical post-colostomy decision in Connecticut (of all places).Get ready to deal with a terrible spinach analogy, General Patton (I get distracted), a guy named Ron, and Hans Namuth pushing Jackson over the edge.  So take a bunch of barbiturates, ask Bertha Schaefer inappropriately aggressive and personal questions, and get ready for a family reunion!
In this episode, Jackson finally gets to explore a part of himself that he hasn’t really figured out yet.  Also, we’ll learn about the old ‘murican policy of “if you do hair, you can’t do war” and a fabulously blue discharge that was for a not-so-fabulous reason.  And, Peggy puts the moves on Jackson.  It goes exactly how you think it would.As we traverse through the PUT THE @%$#%@ HAMMER DOWN!!!! tranquility of Springs, we learn about the Bonackers, Jungle Pete’s, Jackson’s new best friend (who’s alarmingly like his old best friend), and finally get to the painting technique that would eventually make Jackson famous. So toss a couple back at George’s Tavern on 7th before we take a trip to P-Town...but don’t lose your head over it...@artholespodcast
In this art-heavy episode, we'll work through cubism, surrealism, being too old for stuff, and the inner workings of Jackson’s penis.  Lee and Jackson figure out how to do the dating thing, while the French do Frenchie things in New York.  Jackson’s art takes a giant leap, but people aren’t exactly sure what to make of it.So grab your paintbrushes, allow automatism to take over, get that money, and let Howard Putzel give your career a jump-start!  We learn something new about Jackson in this episode and do a bit of dive on Peggy Guggenheim and her...interesting?...taste in men. Ugh, and more wild west nonsense. But, this time, it’s for a pretty cool result...
Get your paintbrushes ready! Jackson learns a new form of therapy that’s not based at all in science or medicine, we learn that Kandinsky made some stuff up, and the United States military learns that Jackson is ill-equipped for more or less anything. Learning is fun!In this episode, we blow on our borscht because it’s a bit too hot, meet a new main character whose brother is...well...not very brotherly, and Jackson gets a new mentor.  So scream at your kids about ghosts, while a Russian newspaper teaches us that two completely unrelated events can indeed be connected if you just close your eyes tightly and want it badly enough.And don’t forget, there are no cats in America and the streets are paved with cheese!
Jackson recovers from his unfortunate boxcar train ride, then heads back to NYC to hang out with Thomas and Rita Benton...but maybe a bit more so with Rita. Frank’s girlfriend Marie gets an earful and almost a neckfull, Jackson takes late-night naps in other people’s urine, and we meet a new muchacho! Dios mio, there’s quite a bit in this episode. Dry-hump a stranger, assault a BUNCH of women, BS your therapist, and have (more than) a little rotgut while we celebrate A Very Greek Christmas Eve! Ya heard? @artholespodcast
Comments (2)


This was WILDLY entertaining

Jul 8th

Carlos Taylor

love this podcast. He is entertaining and has my type of sense of humor. 5 stars!!!

Feb 13th
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