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Goblet Of Wine: A Drunken British Harry Potter Podcast
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Goblet Of Wine: A Drunken British Harry Potter Podcast

Author: Harry Potter

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Two British lifelong Harry Potter fans Hannah and Charlie re-read their favourite childhood book chapter by chapter with added alcohol and cynicism in fortnightly episodes!

The perfect podcast for HP fans who want to revisit the story through an adult lens (AKA, NSFW), and with the added bonus of British accents, Hannah and Charlie lovingly tear apart the books pointing out plot holes, anti-feminist moments, transphobia, fat phobia, and most of all...dick jokes. A unique combination of intelligent literary criticism one minute, and drunken chaos the next, join us on our reminiscent journey.
86 Episodes
Ola! It do be time for another episode. This ep, we're sipping on some buttery nipples (ooer) and chatting about Harry X Ginny (Hinny? Garry?), absolutely dunking on the trio, how we hate this country, and hate politics, and the police, and how we LOVE Wolfstar. Charlie talks out her arse a lot too, but what's new about that. Anyway I'm hungover so the description ends here. Enjoy bitches. Donate to the charity pub crawl: Merch Tiktok @gobletofwinepod
Welcome back to ANOTHER episode starring Unbitten's Cam and Em! Once again we're having a very long, very drunken ramble. This time about how much Marietta was a dick (or not), Harry being a dick, Hogwarts (and IRL) exams, and pensieve memories. Enjoy! Unbitten Podcast: Merch Tiktok @gobletofwinepod
It's time for another episode of Goblet of Wine and ANOTHER guest episode! Because we do love not having on any guests for 6 months and then piling them all together. In today's ep we have Cam and Em from Unbitten Podcast here to talk about (half) of chapter 28 - that's right, ONLY HALF! These idiots wouldn't shut up so we're doing TWO episodes about ONE chapter. We're chatting about portraits living for the drama, masturbating around photos, Filtch wanting to whip students, and His Dark Materials. Unbitten Podcast: Merch Tiktok @gobletofwinepod
The moment you've all been asking's GOW X Potterless! Yup, that's right, we're finally having Mike on the pod. With him we're chatting about chapter 27 of Order of the Phoenix whilst drinking margaritas and talking about horse dick, hermione not being like other girls, what a hypocrite Dumbledore is, and Kingsley Shacklebolt's...questionable name. Maria's shop: Maria's instagram: The Kingsley Shacklebolt TikTok: Potterless: Mike: Merch Tiktok @gobletofwinepod
Correction: it did not come home. Alas, welcome to episode 72, where we're chatting about chapter 26 of OOTP, bitching about the stupid gender roles that we and Ginny have to deal with, the teachers having shit lives, and McGonagall being bisexual. Merch Tiktok @gobletofwinepod
Hello! Welcome to episode 71 where we're talking about chapter 25 of Order of the Pheonix. We're discussing our thoughts on Cho, Katherine Ryan, and Rita Skeeta's origin story. Oh, and Charlie realises she might be a lesbian. Merch Tiktok @gobletofwinepod
TW: Discussions of suicide - 36.50 - 37.45 Ello ello ello. Welcome back to episode 70, in today's episode we're discussing chapter 24 of Order of the Phoenix, and talking about Snape's wanking photo, yet more lack of logic with the Hogwart's Express, our feelings on Cho, and how Snape is a TERRIBLE teacher. Oh, and we also do a Q&A with Neil. Merch Tiktok @gobletofwinepod
Trigger warning: memory loss/alzheimers/dementia discussion 53 minutes to 1:02:00. EPISODE 69! Nice. Join us in our new episode where we're drinking one of the nicest drinks we've drunk on the podcast so far, talking about Hermione's relationship with her parents (again), Ron buying Hermione perfume (?!?) and answering whether we think Neville is the chosen one. Merch Tiktok @gobletofwinepod
Hello! We're halfway through Order of the Pheonix which can mean only one thing - THE HOUSE CUP ANNOUNCEMENT! We're saying a massive congrats to Ravenclaw for winning it, as well as a huge congrats to our new prefects Rachel, Sophie, Mary and our headhuman Alex. We also barely talk about HP whilst drinking 'Bloo Goo', a terrible drink invention from our Patreon Em. Merch Tiktok @gobletofwinepod
Ello ello ello! It's another episodeeeeeee. In todays ep we're chatting about chapters 20 & 21 of OOTP. Charlie resets the vibe in a...creative way, and we comment on how wizards make themselves the centre of attention with everything, giants, and how Cho so relatably goes from crying to horny in 0.2 seconds. Merch Tiktok @gobletofwinepod
WE'RE BACK TOGETHER! Covid 19 rules now allow for 'non-essential' businesses to open, which apparently, our podcast is 'non-essential'? Who knew. So with some sexy social distancing rules in place we're FINALLY recording together again! We're chatting about chapters 18 & 19 of OOTP whilst drinking a literal TUB of alcohol. We discuss Harry and Ron's learned helplessness, Cho kinda being a nonce, which Hogwarts house would be the messiest, and rainy school lunchtimes. Merch Tiktok @gobletofwinepod
In today's episode, we're talking about chapter 17 of Order of the Pheonix, how Hogwarts needs a sex room, how problematic the staircase slide is, and what a ridiculous amount of male violence there is in Harry Potter. Merch Tiktok @gobletofwinepod
Trigger warning - Discussion of Sarah Everard case (sexual assault, murder) until 14 minutes in. Welcome back to another episode! We're chatting about Chapter 16 of Order of the Phoenix, debating how vanishing spells work, whether you can smell the difference between a sheep and a goat, and how fucked up it is to use acne as a punishment. Merch Tiktok @gobletofwinepod
In today's episode we have an amazing special guest - Sequoia from our sister pod Fanatical Fics! We're drinking cider and debating how owls work, how Harry is CLEARLY bi, and how Umbridge is basically Michael Gove. Find Sequoia: Us: Merch Tiktok @gobletofwinepod
Time for chapters 12 & 13 of OOTP! In today’s episode as a result of Charlie being a stupid bitch we’re drinking ‘Smokers Cough’ aka Jäger and Mayo, and ‘Prairie Chicken’ aka Gin, Raw Egg Yolk and Pepper. Yum. Once we finish vomming, we’re chatting about the absolute lack of chemistry between Cho and Harry, debating whether potions is hard, and Charlie does an incredible* Scottish accent. *it wasn’t incredible. Merch Tiktok @gobletofwinepod
Welcome back to another very special episode of Goblet of Wine! In today’s episode, we have the amazing Robyn and Bayana from #WizardTeam podcast and @blackgirlscreate. With the help of their much more insightful minds, we’re chatting about Neville, meeting Luna for the first time, Umbridge’s femininity, and how Hogwarts really needs Ofsted. Twitter warnings: 1:11:55 rape TW 1:16:10 gun TW Find Robyn & Bayana: Real House Students of Hogwarts - Find more of Goblet of Wine: Merch Tiktok @gobletofwinepod
Another Monday, another episode of Goblet of Wine! In today’s ep we’re making Luna Lovegood themed drinks…and managing not to actually get around to reading the chapter she’s introduced in. If you want to try to recreate our drinks, here’s the recipes; Hannah’s: 2 parts passion fruit gin liquor 1 part elderflower gin 1 part lemon juice drop of Angostura Bitters Over ice with a bit of tonic water Charlie’s: Mythical unicorn gin Aromatic tonic Shaken over ice Plum juice and slices of plum Radish to garnish Merch Tiktok @gobletofwinepod
Lockdown 3 here we goooooo - we’re recording separately, AGAIN. And this time Charlie’s at her home in London so uh, enjoy the train ASMR! We’re talking about Hannah stalking Joanna Lumley, Charlie getting ghosted by Dylan Llewellyn, Charlie ghosting a podcast listener, Charlie loving trains, how we’re both secretly spies, oh and also some Harry Potter. ENJOY! Join Skillshare Today and Get Two Weeks of Premium for Free! Merch Tiktok @gobletofwinepod
Ola! In today's episode we're chatting about chapter 6 of the Order of the Phoenix, plus a huge long rant at the end about Johnny Depp and Amber Heard. We're talking about Voldemort nuking people, the 'pure blood' claim making NO sense, and drinking more White Claw! Enjoy! Merch Tiktok @gobletofwinepod
It's that festive time of year again and we're back with our Christmas Fanfiction challenge. We asked our patreons to submit prompts and then gave ourselves 10 minutes to write a festive fanfiction using a randomised character, place, object and spell! Expect chaos, gay stories, a worrying concoction of our past drinks and Aberforth's favourite goat. Oh and for some reason we thought we were sober when recording this ... spoiler warning: we weren't! Merry Christmas everyone xxx Merch Tiktok @gobletofwinepod
Comments (5)

Mimosa Mermoz

ep 45. slaves, in History, were not especially black. remind that JK Rowling studied antiquity.

Jul 30th

Parham Fathi Hafshejani

I really like pod thank you so much I love you both 🙏🌹

Oct 21st

Kellianne Doan

I'm obsessed with this podcast! The girls are so entertaining and dig into all the questions I've always had while reading HP. So glad I found Goblet of Wine, it's my new favorite HP podcast.

Jul 23rd

Maddison Colmer

it is amazing I listen to it all the time definitely listen to this podcast

May 9th

Ginny Cuthbert

I absolutely LOVE this podcast! It is the funniest thing I've ever listened to, and I get so excited to listen to the next episode! Everyone who loves Harry Potter needs to listen to this.

Jul 11th
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