DiscoverBeach Too Sandy, Water Too Wet
Beach Too Sandy, Water Too Wet
Claim Ownership

Beach Too Sandy, Water Too Wet

Author: Alex and Christine Schiefer

Subscribed: 2,889Played: 146,863
Share

Description

A comedy podcast featuring dramatic readings of one-star reviews written by real people with not-so-real problems.
111 Episodes
Reverse
After the success of our Disney Parks episode, we decided to do another one! Oh wait, never mind, these reviews are of Pompeii. But apparently some people can't tell the difference. In an attempt to redeem the craziness, we read our oldest reviews yet! And if that doesn't float your gondola, we talk a lot about sewage. If you want to watch Christine mangle Alex's hair LIVE, follow Alex's Twitch channel here: https://www.twitch.tv/xandyschiefer Buy our brand new merch! https://store.dftba.com/collections/beach-too-sandy-water-too-wet Support us on Patreon at patreon.com/beachtoosandy for a monthly livestream Q&A and to participate in Jackbox Games nights! Subscribe to Christine's YouTube channel to watch her read creepy stories! https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCb-gAs8Evw3ht70wTk1TiMA Logo by Courtney Aventura. Theme by Mavus White. Music by PSOVOD and tyops. --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app
83: Zoos in Norway

83: Zoos in Norway

2020-07-0101:02:565

Don't be too surprised if we rename our podcast to The Shanti Chronicles, because Alex loves his new adopted Gibbon daughter. The news about her might be the most important part of our episode, but it doesn't take away from the craziness that are these reviews. So be sure to listen to this episode, because it has elks, ducks... everything! If you want to watch Christine mangle Alex's hair LIVE, follow Alex's Twitch channel here: https://www.twitch.tv/xandyschiefer To see a picture of Shanti, go here: https://www.instagram.com/beachtoosandy Buy our brand new merch! https://store.dftba.com/collections/beach-too-sandy-water-too-wet Support us on Patreon at patreon.com/beachtoosandy for a monthly livestream Q&A and to participate in Jackbox Games nights! Subscribe to Christine's YouTube channel to watch her read creepy stories! https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCb-gAs8Evw3ht70wTk1TiMA Logo by Courtney Aventura. Theme by Mavus White. Music by PSOVOD and tyops. --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app
82: Scuba Diving in Guam

82: Scuba Diving in Guam

2020-06-2401:02:405

Disclaimer: These Podcast Hosts Be Wildin'. Wait, what does that even mean? Anyway, we're reviews of scuba diving in Guam, then Alex reads reviews where the reviewer vows never to return to a state/country. It's just as fun as it sounds! So don't *fundamentally* stop listening to our show and listen to episode 82 now! Buy our brand new merch! https://store.dftba.com/collections/beach-too-sandy-water-too-wet Support us on Patreon at patreon.com/beachtoosandy for a monthly livestream Q&A and to participate in Jackbox Games nights! Subscribe to Christine's YouTube channel to watch her read creepy stories! https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCb-gAs8Evw3ht70wTk1TiMA Follow Alex on Twitch to see the upcoming haircut disaster! https://www.twitch.tv/xandyschiefer Logo by Courtney Aventura. Theme by Mavus White. Music by PSOVOD and tyops. --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app
Who the hell gave us this platform? Oh yeah, you all did... Well thank you for having an IQ higher than a crab and being an outlet for our boring childhood stories. We'll post proof of our "extreme skill and coordination" on our social media in the form of skydiving photos. Enjoy! Buy our brand new merch! https://store.dftba.com/collections/beach-too-sandy-water-too-wet Support us on Patreon at patreon.com/beachtoosandy for a monthly livestream Q&A and to participate in Jackbox Games nights! Subscribe to Christine's YouTube channel to watch her read creepy stories! https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCb-gAs8Evw3ht70wTk1TiMA Follow Alex on Twitch to see the upcoming haircut disaster! https://www.twitch.tv/xandyschiefer Logo by Courtney Aventura. Theme by Mavus White. Music by PSOVOD and tyops. --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app
80: KFC in Japan

80: KFC in Japan

2020-06-1046:057

Welcome to the Church of Yelp, where we teach you everything it takes to get yourself into hell. We're reading reviews of the "benign personality cult" also known as KFC in Japan. Then, Alex sings a warbling tune of reviews where the reviewer mentions a dream they had. All in all, it's a pretty fun episode to listen to as long as you're not Australian. Fair warning. Buy our brand new merch! https://store.dftba.com/collections/beach-too-sandy-water-too-wet Support us on Patreon at patreon.com/beachtoosandy for a monthly livestream Q&A and to participate in Jackbox Games nights! Subscribe to Christine's YouTube channel to watch her read creepy stories! https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCb-gAs8Evw3ht70wTk1TiMA Follow Alex on Twitch! https://www.twitch.tv/xandyschiefer Logo by Courtney Aventura. Theme by Mavus White. Music by PSOVOD and tyops. --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app
Podcast Blackout

Podcast Blackout

2020-06-0353:499

We will not be releasing a regular episode this week in an effort to listen to, learn from, and amplify Black voices. Tune in to this brief recording or visit https://tinyurl.com/blmforever for tips on joining the fight against racial inequality and police brutality.  #TheShowMustBePaused
Between the indiscriminate pooping, tea bags, and bodily excreted waste... this might be our grossest episode yet. But if you can make it through, you can hear our mother's favorite joke. Well, maybe that's the worst part of the episode. We'll let you be the judge. See you in our next show, "Yelper Nightmares!" Buy our brand new merch! https://store.dftba.com/collections/beach-too-sandy-water-too-wet Support us on Patreon at patreon.com/beachtoosandy for a monthly livestream Q&A and to participate in Jackbox Games nights! Subscribe to Christine's YouTube channel to watch her read creepy stories! https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCb-gAs8Evw3ht70wTk1TiMA Follow Alex on Twitch to watch our upcoming Jackbox Games nights! https://www.twitch.tv/xandyschiefer Logo by Courtney Aventura. Theme by Mavus White. Music by PSOVOD and tyops. --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app
Welcome to our first weekly Winnie-sode! We discuss jellybean storage, dried up condoms, and we touch on what it's like to be an oxygen-dependent woman of a certain age. That's our story, morning glory! Follow Alex on Twitch to watch our upcoming Jackbox Games nights! https://www.twitch.tv/xandyschiefer Buy our brand new merch! https://store.dftba.com/collections/beach-too-sandy-water-too-wet Support us on Patreon at patreon.com/beachtoosandy for a monthly livestream Q&A and to participate in Jackbox Games nights! Go subscribe to our YouTube channel and watch our first ever live show in New York! www.youtube.com/c/beachtoosandywatertoowet Logo by Courtney Aventura. Theme by Mavus White. Music by PSOVOD, sirkoto51, and tyops. --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app
The Schiefer Siblings are coming out to play! And they're on a mission... to normalize... constipation? God this episode is messy. If you want, you're welcome to dive headfirst into this mess of crazy craft store reviews and reviews of cat cafes from people allergic to cats. This episode is not sponsored by Eagle-Eye Cherry, but we wish it was as he's pretty much the coolest.  Follow Alex on Twitch to watch our upcoming Jackbox Games nights! https://www.twitch.tv/xandyschiefer Buy our brand new merch! https://store.dftba.com/collections/beach-too-sandy-water-too-wet Support us on Patreon at patreon.com/beachtoosandy for a monthly livestream Q&A and to participate in Jackbox Games nights! Go subscribe to our YouTube channel and watch our first ever live show in New York! www.youtube.com/c/beachtoosandywatertoowet Logo by Courtney Aventura. Theme by Mavus White. Music by PSOVOD and tyops. --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app
From bidets to porn sites, we talk about pretty much everything this episode. Thankfully it's a bonus episode, so we can do what we want! And so can you, but we'd encourage you to donate to the One Fair Wage Emergency Fund by going to OFWEmergencyFund.org. With your leftover money, feel free to buy yourself a plague doctor mask. Buy our brand new merch! https://store.dftba.com/collections/beach-too-sandy-water-too-wet Support us on Patreon at patreon.com/beachtoosandy for a monthly livestream Q&A! Go subscribe to our YouTube channel and watch our first ever live show in New York! www.youtube.com/c/beachtoosandywatertoowet Logo by Courtney Aventura. Theme by Mavus White. Music by PSOVOD and tyops. --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app
77: Lakes in Minnesota

77: Lakes in Minnesota

2020-05-1356:492

Turn off your Jimmy Buffet and hop aboard the Silky Pig, because we're going yelping! Join us on this amazing natural journey where we discover all the crazies Minnesota has to offer.  Buy our brand new merch! https://store.dftba.com/collections/beach-too-sandy-water-too-wet Support us on Patreon at patreon.com/beachtoosandy for a monthly livestream Q&A! Go subscribe to our YouTube channel and watch our first ever live show in New York! www.youtube.com/c/beachtoosandywatertoowet Logo by Courtney Aventura. Theme by Mavus White. Music by PSOVOD and tyops. --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app
Before you listen to this episode, we've gotta lay down some ground rules. We expect you to either write us a poem or give us a dollar. And once you do, you'll have to follow the golden rule: ~*~Impeccable Vibes ONLY~*~ Only then can we accept you as our succulent listeners. Buy our brand new merch! https://store.dftba.com/collections/beach-too-sandy-water-too-wet Support us on Patreon at patreon.com/beachtoosandy for a monthly livestream Q&A! Go subscribe to our YouTube channel and watch our first ever live show in New York! www.youtube.com/c/beachtoosandywatertoowet Logo by Courtney Aventura. Theme by Mavus White. Music by PSOVOD and tyops. --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app
We've got new merch!! Head over to bit.ly/beachtoosandymerch for a "Lunatic Leftwing Liberal Loser" pin, a "Baron of Cream" shirt or a Beach Too Sandy decal!  If you've ever eaten calamari at a bowling alley, this episode isn't for you. Because the lit fairy godmothers Malex and Mristine are judging you. But don't worry, Malex gets what's coming to him when he embarrasses himself by being unable to say "early bird menu" properly. So at least listen to that struggle. Support us on Patreon at patreon.com/beachtoosandy for a monthly livestream Q&A! Go subscribe to our YouTube channel and watch our first ever live show in New York! www.youtube.com/c/beachtoosandywatertoowet Logo by Courtney Aventura. Theme by Mavus White. Music by PSOVOD and tyops. --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app
Since this was released at 11 PM our time on April 30th, we're counting it as the April Between You And Us. Deal with it or face us and our spirited personalities. Support us on Patreon at patreon.com/beachtoosandy for a monthly livestream Q&A! Go subscribe to our YouTube channel and watch our first ever live show in New York! www.youtube.com/c/beachtoosandywatertoowet Buy our merch! https://store.dftba.com/collections/beach-too-sandy-water-too-wet Logo by Courtney Aventura. Theme by Mavus White. Music by PSOVOD and tyops. --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app
We hope after listening to this episode, you tell everyone how much we mind blew you with our talk of mutant chickens and souvlaki #WhitePizzaWith500RawOnionsInAPoolOfWater Support us on Patreon at patreon.com/beachtoosandy for a monthly livestream Q&A! Go subscribe to our YouTube channel and watch our first ever live show in New York! www.youtube.com/c/beachtoosandywatertoowet Buy our merch! https://store.dftba.com/collections/beach-too-sandy-water-too-wet Logo by Courtney Aventura. Theme by Mavus White. Music by PSOVOD and tyops. --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app
Listen to this week's episode to find out how you can win a copy of Animal Crossing: New Horizons for the Nintendo Switch! If you already own a copy, listen to this episode to hear us audition for the role of Animal Crossing voice actors, and to find out why Christine is on Alex's dodos' no-fly list. Support us on Patreon at patreon.com/beachtoosandy for a monthly livestream Q&A! Go subscribe to our YouTube channel and watch our first ever live show in New York! www.youtube.com/c/beachtoosandywatertoowet Buy our merch! https://store.dftba.com/collections/beach-too-sandy-water-too-wet Logo by Courtney Aventura. Theme by Mavus White. Music by PSOVOD and tyops. --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app
74: Cigar Shops in Cuba

74: Cigar Shops in Cuba

2020-04-2251:367

Years from now, we believe someone will wonder if Tim Allen was one of the hosts of Beach Too Sandy, Water Too Wet. And that person is Christine Schiefer. Find out what else she thinks Tim Allen was in on this episode of your favorite review reading podcast, this time with less Yelp... since apparently Cuba doesn't have Yelp. But we still think you'll enjoy another exploration of awful reviews and the people who write them. Support us on Patreon at patreon.com/beachtoosandy for a monthly livestream Q&A! Go subscribe to our YouTube channel and watch our first ever live show in New York! www.youtube.com/c/beachtoosandywatertoowet Buy our merch! https://store.dftba.com/collections/beach-too-sandy-water-too-wet Logo by Courtney Aventura. Theme by Mavus White. Music by PSOVOD and tyops. --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app
Calling all iron maiden fans! Whether that's of the band, the medieval torture device, or our mother. We've got an uplifting? bonus episode for you where we only read the positive reviews (mostly)!!!! So come join us for a Gonzo ride in this edition of Schiefer Madness! Support us on Patreon at patreon.com/beachtoosandy for a monthly livestream Q&A! Go subscribe to our YouTube channel and watch our first ever live show in New York! www.youtube.com/c/beachtoosandywatertoowet Buy our merch! https://store.dftba.com/collections/beach-too-sandy-water-too-wet Logo by Courtney Aventura. Theme by Mavus White. Music by PSOVOD and tyops. --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app
YEGADS! In this week's episode, Christine philosophizes and Alex waxes poetic. If that doesn't convince you to listen to this one, then we don't blame you. But we hope you give us the chance to warn you about big brother watching you through light switches and of the dangers of fascist architecture. We promise it's worth it.  Support us on Patreon at patreon.com/beachtoosandy for a monthly livestream Q&A! Go subscribe to our YouTube channel and watch our first ever live show in New York! www.youtube.com/c/beachtoosandywatertoowet Buy our merch! https://store.dftba.com/collections/beach-too-sandy-water-too-wet Logo by Courtney Aventura. Theme by Mavus White. Music by PSOVOD and tyops. --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app
Is that title really not enough for you? Support us on Patreon at patreon.com/beachtoosandy for a monthly livestream Q&A! Go subscribe to our YouTube channel to see our beautiful faces! www.youtube.com/c/beachtoosandywatertoowet Buy our merch! https://store.dftba.com/collections/beach-too-sandy-water-too-wet Logo by Courtney Aventura. Theme by Mavus White. Music by PSOVOD, robinhood76, and tyops. --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app
loading
Comments (78)

Justin Govas

Ik you guys won't see this. But thanks for stating central time as well! almost no one does

Jul 9th
Reply

oh Jojo

After being riculed from age seven for using the word y'all, first when we moved to New Jersey for a couple of years, then by my southern peers, I stuck it out for a word I liked. Then to my bag of mixed emotions at hearing it trending now and for all the excellent reasons of gender neutrality! Awesome! Not trending because of hokey comics!

Jul 3rd
Reply

Kristina Reynolds

I'm sure it'll be a wildin' good time. Love y'all 💓

Jul 1st
Reply

gatimowig@promaild.com

Unsubscribe

Jun 6th
Reply

John Fiebelkorn

Thank you for being on the right side.

Jun 3rd
Reply

Antoinette Everett

mad props for referencing the Potter Puppet Pals

May 29th
Reply

Jayann Chipman

An ipaq is a pocket computer. Not an ipad.

May 22nd
Reply

A Cleminson

Best episode so far. So so funny. 😆

May 16th
Reply

Alex Quinn

I’m so excited for the theme of craft stores in Raleigh. I don’t live there but I work at Michaels. The art and yarn crafters always have the most fun interactions

May 13th
Reply

A Cleminson

This would be better if they read the review in its entirety before commenting and asking questions. They can go over it again after it is fully read...

May 9th
Reply

DisneyandBroadwaybeauty

Thanks for defending retail employees, and please tip your food service employees.

May 6th
Reply

DisneyandBroadwaybeauty

Thanks for defending retail employees, and please tip your food service employees.

May 6th
Reply

Windy Pineda

I'm here to say that Alex Spanish pronunciation is actually pretty good :)

Apr 30th
Reply

DisneyandBroadwaybeauty

I think my eyes started crossing in disgust when I got the part about the flat earthier, but that’s just my opinion

Apr 26th
Reply

Keleyna Staves

the cigar box that needs plugged in a humidor, used to keep cigars at the correct humidity while storing them.

Apr 22nd
Reply

Windy Pineda

I almost had a heart attack!! #AprilFools

Apr 18th
Reply

DisneyandBroadwaybeauty

Does anyone know that is playing in the background when Em was reading a review about Walt Disney World in Florida?

Apr 17th
Reply (1)

Kristina Reynolds

You two are hilarious, you're really helping me through this pandemic! thanks!

Apr 10th
Reply

Harman Felicia

Buenos días, permítanme compartir un pequeño testimonio sobre un hombre que me ayudó a curar mi enfermedad del cáncer desde hace 13 años y he probado muchos medicamentos herbales, pero no pudieron ayudarme, pero después de ver al Dr. Lele Contact en línea, lo contacté para ayudarme a curar mi enfermedad del cáncer Afortunadamente para mí, él mantiene su medicina herbapl curará mi enfermedad de cáncer. El Dr. Lele preparó su medicina herbal y me la envió. Después de usarlo durante 3 semanas, me encontraron negativo. cuando fui a la prueba, estaba tan confundido y sorprendido cuando mi médico me dijo que mi resultado fue negativo, qué gran hombre, si quieres su cura, envíe un correo electrónico ahora: Correo electrónico: drlelehealingtemple@gmail.com y whatsapp +2348121038181 y obtenga sanar totalmente. Dijo que la hierba para curar la diferencia cura cualquier enfermedad (1) HERPES, (2) DIABETES, (3) VIH y SIDA, (4) INFECCIÓN DEL TRACTO URINARIO, (5) HEPATITIS B, (6) IMPOTENCIA, (7) DESNUDO / INFERTILIDAD (8) DIARREA (9) ASMA ... Correo electrónico: drlelehealingtemple@gmail.com WHTASAPP +2348121038181

Apr 6th
Reply

Harman Felicia

HERBAL CURE FOR HERPES I am so Happy to be writing this article in here, i am here to explore blogs forum about the wonderful and most safe cure for HERPES SIMPLEX VIRUS . I was positive to the deadly Virus called HERPES and i lost hope completely because i was rejected even by my closet friends. i searched online to know and inquire about cure for HERPES and i saw Dr Lukas Lele testimony online on how he was cured so many persons from Herpes Disease so i decided to contact the great herbalist because i know that nature has the power to heal everything. i contacted him to know how he can help me and he told me never to worry that he will help me with the natural herbs from God! after 2 days of contacting him, he told me that the cure has been ready and he sent it to me via FEDEX or DHL and it got to me after 4 days! i used the medicine as he instructed me (MORNING and EVENING) and i was cured! its really like a dream but i’m so happy! that’s the reason i decided to also add more comment of Him so that more people can be saved just like me! and if you need his help,contact his Email: (drlelehealingtemple@gmail.com) you can contact him on WHTASAPP +2348121038181 He said have the herb to cure difference cure for any sickness (1) HERPES, (2) DIABETES, (3) HIV&AIDS, (4) URINARY TRACT INFECTION, (5) HEPATITIS B, (6) IMPOTENCE, (7) BARENESS/INFERTILITY (8) DIARRHEA (9) ASTHMA… Email: drlelehealingtemple@gmail.com WHTASAPP +2348121038181

Apr 6th
Reply
Download from Google Play
Download from App Store