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Judge John Hodgman

Judge John Hodgman
Author: John Hodgman and Maximum Fun
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John Hodgman's Today in the Past podcast is now The Judge John Hodgman Podcast. Have your pressing issues decided by Famous Minor Television Personality John Hodgman, Certified Judge. If you'd like John Hodgman to solve your pressing issue, simply email it, along with your phone number, to hodgman@maximumfun.org. THAT IS ALL.
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Emily brings the case against her cousin Jess. When Emily was 3, her uncle chased her around a family gathering while wearing a Mr. Peanut costume. This traumatized her! Jess was present at the event, and she still sends Emily pictures and memes of Mr. Peanut. She says it “wasn’t that bad.” Emily wants Jess to stop because she still finds it upsetting! Who's right? Who's wrong?Thanks to reddit user u/PR0T0G3N for naming this week’s case! To suggest a title for a future episode, keep an eye on the Maximum Fun subreddit at maximumfun.reddit.com!This is the first week of the MAXFUNDRIVE! Go to maximumfun.org/join to become a member, or upgrade or boost your membership, and support the Judge John Hodgman podcast. And to all of our members, both new and returning: a hearty, sincere THANK YOU from all of us at JJHO and MaxFun!
Jordan brings the case against his friend Jacob. Jordan and Jacob are both blacksmiths. Jacob has been Jordan’s apprentice for the past few years, and he says it’s time he gets a new title, like “journeyman.” Jordan says Jacob is still learning and needs more experience first! Who’s right? Who’s wrong?Thanks to reddit user u/Beejtronic for naming this week’s case! To suggest a title for a future episode, keep an eye on the Maximum Fun subreddit at maximumfun.reddit.com!
Joan brings the case against her sister, Barbara. When Joan was 8, their aunt gave her a present: a framed print of Winnie-the-Pooh. Joan hung it in the bedroom she shared with Barbara – but she left it behind when she got her own room. Now it’s 50 years later, and Barbara says the Pooh print belongs to her. Joan wants it back! Who’s right? Who’s wrong?Thanks to reddit user u/BadArtistGoodListenr for naming this week’s case! To suggest a title for a future episode, keep an eye on the Maximum Fun subreddit at maximumfun.reddit.com!
It’s time to clear the docket! This week, we’re tackling BOARD GAMES. And we get some help from a very special guest: Pulitzer Prize-winning playwright and board game enthusiast David Lindsay-Abaire is here! He helps decide on issues of Monopoly house rules, the layout of the Clue board, and how to win at Life! (The board game, not, y'know, life.)David's musical KIMBERLY AKIMBO is on Broadway right now, at the Booth Theatre. Get tickets here!
This week’s episode was recorded live in front of an audience at Revolution Hall in Portland, OR! Our first case is BROCCO-LEADING THE WITNESS: Alan brings the case against his wife Christy. Alan wants to introduce broccoli into their 14-month-old daughter’s diet. Christy has a phobia of broccoli, and doesn’t want any in the house unless she’s out of town. But Alan wants to serve it to their daughter more frequently! PLUS: Swift Justice featuring the legendary Corin Tucker of Sleater-Kinney!Thanks to reddit user u/MagicApe for naming this week’s case! To suggest a title for a future episode, keep an eye on the Maximum Fun subreddit at maximumfun.reddit.com.
This week’s episode was recorded live in front of an audience at the Neptune Theater in Seattle! Our first case is PAUSE-ABLE DENIABILITY: Sam brings the case against his girlfriend, Angela. Angela and Sam used to watch a popular food-reaction video series together. One day, Sam discovered Angela watching a new episode without him. He says they had an unspoken agreement to always wait to watch new episodes together, but Angela says she did nothing wrong. PLUS: Swift Justice with Washington Supreme Court Justice Raquel Montoya-Lewis!Thanks to reddit user u/mkbecker for naming this week’s case! To suggest a title for a future episode, keep an eye on the Maximum Fun subreddit at maximumfun.reddit.com!
This week's episode was recorded live in front of an audience at the Wheeler Theater in Port Townsend, Washington! Our first case is BURDEN OF HOOF: Amy brings the case against her husband, Toby. Amy and Toby became “accidental farmers” when they moved back to the island where Toby grew up and bought a home that came with a tractor. Now that their kids are nearly grown, they want to spend more time sailing, but the farm is too much work! Amy wants to build lodging to hire help, but Toby says it’s not that simple! PLUS: Swift Justice with Port Townsend's Mayor David Faber!Thanks to reddit user u/IGotMyPopcorn for naming this week’s case! To suggest a title for a future episode, keep an eye on the Maximum Fun subreddit at maximumfun.reddit.com!
Elyse brings the case against her wife, Erin. Erin wants to install a bat box in their yard to help manage mosquitoes. But, Elyse is opposed. She is concerned about becoming the neighborhood’s weird bat people. Who’s right? Who’s wrong?Thanks to reddit user u/DrColossusOfRhodes for naming this week’s case! To suggest a title for a future episode, keep an eye on the Maximum Fun subreddit at maximumfun.reddit.com!
It's time to clear the docket! Tipping, packing, baby-shushing, exercise nomenclature, and much more! Plus, Kayleigh from episode 426: Blob Justice writes in with an update — and a plea for a stay of justice!
Haley brings the case against her partner, Jonathan. Haley and Jonathan have a non-existent child named Belinda. Belinda started as a joke, but has become a symbol for their future together. Now that Haley and Jonathan are thinking seriously about having an actual child, Jonathan thinks the name Belinda would be perfect. Haley disagrees! Who’s right? Who’s wrong?Thanks to reddit user u/SupersoftBday_party for naming this week's case! To suggest a title for a future episode, keep an eye on the Maximum Fun subreddit at maximumfun.reddit.com!
It’s time to clear the docket! This week, we're tackling FAMILY FEUDS. Is it okay to run in Crocs? Should you serve your sister old, old honey? Is "tweets" an acceptable Scrabble word? Plus: baby names, Chex mix and frosty facial hair!
Stacey brings the case against her friend, Ellen. Stacey says that when they play canasta, Ellen changes the rules mid-game. Ellen says that this isn’t true. She’s simply reporting what the rules have always been. Who’s right? Who’s wrong?Thank you to Twitter User @IronyMaiden for naming this week’s case! To suggest a title for a future episode, keep an eye on the Maximum Fun Subreddit at maximumfun.reddit.com!
Content Warning: This episode is entirely about eating and drinking various foods, including some alcoholic beverages. There is a brief description of cooking live lobsters during Monte Belmonte's message to the show in the last segment.It's the last episode of the year and we are celebrating with a Judge John Hodgman Office Party! Inspired by a case regarding mixing eggnog and Sprite, the Judge sent a call for our audience's favorite holiday foods and drinks. Bailiff Jesse had to miss the party unfortunately, but Producer Jennifer Marmor and WERU Program Director Joel Mann join Judge Hodgman to ring in the New Year! Plus we hear some holiday greetings from Friends of the Court!Music used in this episode:Poppers and Prosecco Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com)Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0 Licensehttp://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/Crinoline Dreams Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com)Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0 Licensehttp://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/Barbara by U.S. Army Blues is licensed under a Public Domain Mark 1.0 License.Auld Lang Syne by United States Marine Band is licensed under a Public
Chris brings the case against his friend and bandmate, Nat. Chris would like to incorporate some ska music into their band’s repertoire, but Nat is opposed! Who's right? Who's wrong? With Guest Bailiff Jean Grae!If you want to check out more of bandmate Ross' "Smash-ups," click here for his Bandcamp! Check out Jean's online vintage shop at instagram.com/bea22nyc!Thank you to Twitter User @sittingina_tree for naming this week’s case! To suggest a title for a future episode, follow us on Twitter for naming opportunities: @JesseThorn & @Hodgman. Or keep track using the Twitter hashtag #JJHoCaseNames.Make sure to check out our West Coast tour dates at bit.ly/JJHOWEST! And if you are in any of the cities on our route and have a dispute, please submit it at maximumfun.org/jjho!
Gillian brings the case against her friend, Courtney. Sometimes Gillian will say that something was “meant to be.” Courtney bristles at this idea. Gillian wants Courtney to just let her believe what she wants. But Courtney doesn’t think that Gillian truly believes in destiny! Who’s right? Who’s wrong?Thank you to Twitter User @WeHaveSnacks for naming this week’s case! To suggest a title for a future episode, follow us on Twitter for naming opportunities: @JesseThorn & @Hodgman. Or keep track using the Twitter hashtag #JJHoCaseNames.Make sure to check out our West Coast tour dates at bit.ly/JJHOWEST! Tickets for our Los Angeles show go on sale FRIDAY! And if you are in any of the cities on our route and have a dispute, please submit it at maximumfun.org/jjho!
It's time to clear the docket! It's another edition of JUVENILE COURT with Guest Judge Oscar Thorn (age 9). Time travel artifacts, parents singing in public, swearing along to song lyrics, cat limits, banana bread, and text interpretation. Plus much more! Do parents understand? Oscar will be the judge!Judge John Hodgman is bringing LIVE JUSTICE back on the road!Sat 1/28/23 – Wheeler Theater in Port Townsend, WASun 1/29/23 – Neptune Theatre in SeattleTue 1/31/23 – Revolution Hall in Portland, ORThurs 2/2/23 – Gothic Theatre in Denver, COSat 2/4/23 – Sydney Goldstein Theatre at San Francisco Sketchfest We will also be adding a Los Angeles date to be announced soon! Tickets for SF Sketchfest are available now. General sale for tickets will start THIS FRIDAY, 12/9/22 but artist presale starts tomorrow, THURSDAY 12/8/22 at 10AM PST for Seattle, Portland, and Denver. Use the code ALLRISE for the presale!
Jonathon brings the case against his wife, Kat. Jonathon believes that their first date was a post-class lunch in their college’s cafeteria. But, Kat says that lunch did not count as a date! Who’s right? Who’s wrong?Thank you to Twitter User @aint_no_rule for naming this week’s case! To suggest a title for a future episode, follow us on Twitter for naming opportunities: @JesseThorn & @Hodgman. Or keep track using the Twitter hashtag #JJHoCaseNames.
It's time to clear the docket! With the holiday season in full swing, we are tackling LEFTOVERS. What should one do with leftover Halloween candy? Are pumpkins acceptable to use as decor after Halloween? How does Tom Perrotta, the writer of the novel THE LEFTOVERS, enjoy his holiday leftovers? All this plus office breakfast burrito leftover policy, freezer technique, and much more!
Rachel files suit against her parents, Rex and Patty. Rex insists that Patty pronounce certain words with a proper Philadelphia accent, and Patty goes along with it. Rachel thinks this needs to stop, especially since Patty is originally from New Jersey! Who’s right? Who’s wrong?Thank you to Twitter User @lexfri for naming this week’s case! To suggest a title for a future episode, follow us on Twitter for naming opportunities: @JesseThorn & @Hodgman. Or keep track using the Twitter hashtag #JJHoCaseNames.
Tamar brings the case against her husband, Aslan. Aslan reads Homer’s The Odyssey to their three year old child at bedtime. Tamar claims that this bedtime routine is contributing to their son having nightmares. But Aslan says their son requests it! Who's right? Who's wrong?Thank you to Twitter User @therealsobreiro for naming this week’s case! To suggest a title for a future episode, follow us on Twitter for naming opportunities: @JesseThorn & @Hodgman. Or keep track using the Twitter hashtag #JJHoCaseNames.
"I couldn't get rid of him" lol
this show continues to lose my "listens", due to the strategic ad placements and their extreme lengths. I'm yet to encounter another podcast, no matter how successful, that has this length of ad time to content ratio. especially this intricately placed. it's becoming not worth the content.
27:10 -- not based on an existing IP? The Lion King was based on Kimba The White Lion. There were even photos circulating at the time of one of the animators wearing a Kimba t-shirt. I adored The Lion King, and still do, but it definitely was a retelling of Kimba.
This episode makes me So jealous! Her IT nice husband does All the housework?! And a Scottish accent. What in the hell is the problem??!
I used to have a thank you light. It took 4 AA batteries, suction cupped to the rear window, and was WAY too big to be safe. I would love an official light designed to work with thre car and not obstruct visibility
the kid is overindulged
I wish I could still listen to this show, but it's been broken for quite some time now. 😞
butter is a spreaddddddd!!!
Get a gaming PC, learn emulators and virtual computers, problem solved. It's not a gaming console Dr. Husband, you can use word
llpl
This episode aged well
I'm always happy to hear about ads from Libby. Librarians are great.
I like the ads for Libby because Libby is an app that lets you access your library's database for free and I hate audible.
Bull penis chew toys are called bully sticks or pizzles. they may contain harmful bacteria because they're dried but not cooked.
In a college course one of the books I was required to buy and read a book I discovered that I hated with a passion. The book showed me a part of the world where men held most of the power and some abused that power. I hated it because it I knew it was real and I didn't know how to improve things. When I finished the course a friend suggested I burn the book as a form of catharsis. It helped. I will point out that I owned said book and it burning it was a form of therapy. I don't make a habit of burning books. I would not have chosen to buy that book except it was for a class and I learned quite a lot. Not all knowledge is enjoyable.
cyanide smells like bitter almonds because bitter almonds contain cyanide.the bitter almond smell is just cyanide.
The miles v. time argument ignores context, which defines how distance will be referenced in any news story. Map distance is standard, travel time is specified when relevant. There is no standard way to describe generic travel time because people drive at different speeds, some take buses, some avoid expressways, etc. Clarity is the most important factor. "The firefighters cover two towns that are 5 miles apart but an hour's drive because of twisting roads and hilly terrain." Like that.
I have enjoyed your radiola program on many a restful evening as I enjoyed a mixed beverage, or on a scenic drive in my motored carriage, and have grown to think of you as an as yet unaquainted friend. Though you have pronounced judgement on more than a few things that I have taken issue with, or I have occasionally taken some small offense as I had felt you had misreasoned or had reasoned more by quirk of personal taste and not with an ardor for absolute justice, I caution myself that you are a wise and good man. Though you may not always have the right of things your charm and good nature have always carried the day. Isn't he a caution, I would muse. But, good sir, when you malign buttered popcorn Jelly Bellies, you malign me. Without so much as a by your leave you cast them down in the coarse language of some sort of border ruffian or rustic brute! There I was in a state no better described as knocked into a cocked hat, my patent bitters bespilt on my fainting clothes, so taken aback was I in mute horror of your transgress! By the Horn Spoon, I am exfluncticated! Never before had I experienced such pique in all of my days as an old-timey character invented for the purposes of an eccentric complaint letter. My most fervent wish is that the express brings this to you at full chisel so you may know my pique, you humbug potentate!
I dont believe her
I hate the idea that if you're going to be in a long term committed relationship that you have to get married, and then immediately have kids. Whenever dog ownership comes up on this show he immediately goes to "you planning to have kids?". Also cats are good in any home. We have a decently sized household and 2 cats and both of them love every family member.