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Have you ever heard or thought that taking care of yourself means you're a selfish person? If you take time for yourself, set boundaries, or put yourself as the priority then you are selfish. In today’s episode, Dr. Kristie talks about the benefits of focusing on yourself and the reasons why taking care of yourself isn't selfish. When you take care of yourself, everyone around you benefits and this episode will help you embrace this truth.Covered in this episode:➡ How many times have you thought self-care or taking care of me is selfish?➡ When I take care of myself, everyone around me benefits.➡ Were you told as a kid that something you did or how you acted was selfish?➡ The reason why taking care of ourselves isn’t selfish➡ Our level of healthiness where we're at as a whole person affects every single relationship connection we're in ➡ Your ability to take care of yourself affects every relationship you're in➡ If you keep giving, giving, giving, you’re going to be empty.➡ What does it look like to focus on yourself?➡ Be realistic in expectations of self especially when it comes to self-careLinks mentioned:- IG: https://www.instagram.com/kristie_overstreet/- FB: https://www.facebook.com/DrKristieOverstreet- Ideal Connection FB Group: https://drkristieoverstreet.com/icfbgroup
If you want to change the feelings of not being good enough or worthy enough, being lost or alone, and generally feeling very down about yourself?Today’s episode Dr. Kristie Talks about the 3 simple tweaks to prove that you're good enough.Covered in this episode:➡ What if I told you there were three things you could do today with just a little bit of time that would change how you see yourself?➡ You are the foundation of who you are.➡ How to deal with feeling lost and lonely.➡ Feeling lonely can trigger the idea of not feeling good enough.➡ Common things to a lot of people forget is not sleeping and not getting rest.➡ Loneliness can come up and trigger us to not feel good enough.➡ Common triggers that lead you to feel not good enough.➡ What is an anxiety spiral? How does it happen?➡ Scaling your anxiety.➡ How do you know you’re good enough? How will you know?➡ You are worthy of love and acceptance. You know how to get there.Links mentioned:- IG: https://www.instagram.com/kristie_overstreet/- FB: https://www.facebook.com/DrKristieOverstreet- Ideal Connection FB Group: https://drkristieoverstreet.com/icfbgroup
Are you living in your values? If you stop and consider it, everything you do is always influenced by your values.Most of us need a wake-up call to return to what we value as a person. Instead of being stuck and living into other people's values and might be struggling to live what we truly value.In today's episode Dr. Kristie talks about what your values are, what's important about them, and then the power of those values, and how to apply the values filter.Covered in this episode:➡ Are you living in your values? ➡ What is a value? What are your values? ➡ You can use your values as a way to help you make decisions.➡ Self change and growth: how to be your healthiest self?➡ What is a values filter?➡ Relationships are less likely to be healthy when there are fewer shared values.➡ Using your values to filter out decisions that don’t line up with your values.➡ How we feel about ourselves and our decisions in our connection and relationships flows on to everything around us.Links mentioned:- IG: https://www.instagram.com/kristie_overstreet/- FB: https://www.facebook.com/DrKristieOverstreet- Ideal Connection FB Group: https://drkristieoverstreet.com/icfbgroup
Our Guest Nicola Harrison is the author of two historical fiction novels, Montauk and The Show Girl (August 10, 2021). Born and raised in England, she moved with her family to Southern California when she was 14. She is a graduate of UCLA and received her MFA from Stony Brook. Prior to writing novels she worked as a fashion journalist in New York City and now lives in Manhattan Beach, California with her husband, and two sons.Covered in this episode:➡ The expectations of women in the 1930’s and what's different nowadays.➡ Why are we still struggling with some of the same things?➡ Finding the balance of doing things that make you feel good about yourself while also keeping yourself as a priority.➡ Finding like-minded people to share your passion.➡ Piece of advice to someone who needs to pivot?➡ If you have that gut feeling inside, have faith that that's you speaking to yourself and knowing what's right for you and just go for it.➡ How to stay inspired and motivated.Links mentioned:- Nicola Harrison: https://www.nicolaharrison.com/the-show-girl- IG: https://www.instagram.com/kristie_overstreet/- FB: https://www.facebook.com/DrKristieOverstreet- Ideal Connection FB Group: https://drkristieoverstreet.com/icfbgroup
Have you ever thought about how you show up specifically in your relationships?Dr. Kristie talks about these three roles as they relate to a few key areas of your life, including self-care, boundaries, communication, conflict, and sex and intimacy.Stick around until the end, and learn more about these three roles if you want to have a healthy relationship with yourself and others.Covered in this episode:➡ Three different roles and how they relate to a few key areas of your life.➡ Anxious avoiders feel overwhelmed, anxious, and avoidant.➡ Anxious avoidance leads to conflict.➡ Why do you want to be an ideal partner?➡ “You may even feel forgotten and unheard, then they notice you only when they need you.➡ Forgotten fixers are used to being in more arguing and conflict, they’ve learned that I don’t speak up because I’m not heard.➡ How to shift from being an anxious avoider or that forgotten fixer to an ideal partner?➡ How do you know you’re in your healthiest self?➡ Strategies to begin to shift into a better relationship.Links mentioned:- IG: @kristie_overstreet- FB: @DrKristieOverstreet- Ideal Connection FB Group: https://drkristieoverstreet.com/icfbgroupReady to learn more, check out this article:- 5 ways to gain confidence in your relationships https://drkristieoverstreet.com/blog/5-ways-to-gain-confidence-in-relationships/
How healthy are your boundaries? In today's episode, Dr. Kristie shares the 9 signs that you may have unhealthy boundaries.If you feel that you struggle with creating boundaries, you should pay attention to your gut and instincts.Because if you're a people pleaser, if you struggle to say no, if you want everyone around you to be happy all the time, and you'll do anything in your power to make it happen. You may have some boundary issues.Understanding your boundaries will be the only way that you're able to create those relationships you deserve.Covered in this episode:• How Healthy Are Your Boundaries? •The second sign is not noticing when someone violates your boundaries.• “People are stepping on your boundaries, because you are allowing it to happen”. • Accepting something you don’t want.•Don’t let other people define your reality.• What do I want? What do I need? What do I desire?• Letting people take advantage of you and ignoring problems in relationships.Follow:-Instagram: @kristie_overstreet-Facebook: @DrKristieOverstreet-Ideal Connection FB Group: https://drkristieoverstreet.com/icfbgroupReady to learn more about toxic relationships? 5 Signs Your Relationship is Toxic drkristieoverstreet.com/blog/5-signs-your-relationship-is-toxic/
5 Most Common Relationship Issues and How to Fix ThemRelationships can be difficult, but most of the time, we make things more harder than they need to be.You don't have to do that any longer. Dr. Kristie talks about the list of those five things you're going to watch out for and then suggestions on how to address each level. And hopes that you take those suggestions to make changes for yourself, because she believes you deserve a healthy relationship and no one can give that or do that for you. Covered in this episode:• The 5 most common relationship problems and what you can do to fix them.• The most common communication issue in relationships• “The goal is to get it heard or listened to and some changes potentially happen when you share it”.• Sexual Desire Issue.• “Start with understanding the lack of connection, and the trust within the relationship”.• What can you do well to build trust?• The two things that have to happen in order for trust to improve.• “Be open and honest with your partner”.• Financial or money issues in relationships.• When everything else becomes a priority, everything else is the priority issue.• Why some couples don’t make time for their relationship.• The importance of taking care of yourself first.•“If you don’t like what you see, do something about it”.Follow:-Instagram: @kristie_overstreet-Facebook: @DrKristieOverstreet-Come join me over in our Ideal Connection FB Group: https://drkristieoverstreet.com/icfbgroup
Intimacy and your Very Best Self with Victoria Brown In this week's episode, I'm sharing with you an interview by Victoria Brown on her Very Best Self podcast. She is New York City based Senior SoulCycle instructor, Under Armour Athlete, Certified Life Coach, and Founder of the Very Best Self Squad (VBSquad). Her fitness and mindfulness career began in Los Angeles, spread to Washington, DC, and now takes root in New York City. Her philosophy regarding movement stems from a belief that working out is more mental than it is physical. That we can use what we are fighting for within our lives and allow it to become fuel for moving our bodies through challenges and ultimately feel better mentally, physically, spiritually, and emotionally. She interviewed me on various topics around intimacy, sex, and relationships. Topics including: • It’s better to come to the table with what you know to do instead of letting other people make the first step.• What’s the difference between sex and intimacy, and why is sex still a taboo topic?• How do you meet your partner when you want the same thing?• What are your thoughts and beliefs about sexual self?• Sexual Buffet of options.• What if your partner is never getting the job done? Should you break up?• Gen X is not as sexually active as the previous generation, and what will happen in our society and our culture due to that.• How do you get to the peak of sex without outside stimulation?• What is mind-body connection?• The importance of meditation. Links mentioned:IG handles @victoriabrown @verybestself Follow:-Instagram: @kristie_overstreet-Facebook: @DrKristieOverstreet-Come join me over in our Ideal Connection FB Group: https://drkristieoverstreet.com/icfbgroup
To divorce or not to divorce can it work with Dennis VetranoSometimes, relationships don’t work the way we want it to. There are a lot of factors that can lead into the fallout of a relationship, whether it be falling out of love, mutual agreement of moving on to different partners, or a realization of a different path. In this episode of Fix Yourself First with Dr. Kristie, we’ll be talking about divorce as a whole and as an option. I’m here with guest speaker Dennis Vetrano, a divorce mediation conflict resolution, here to talk about Dennis’ story, prevention of divorce, and the effects thereof.Attorney Dennis R. Vetrano, Jr. is a partner and owner of the Law Office of Dennis R. Vetrano Jr., LLC, which focuses on divorce and family law matters. He is certified in divorce mediation and conflict resolution and is a former Assistant County Attorney who prosecuted Child Abuse and Neglect cases. He has also represented minor children in PINS and juvenile delinquency proceedings, involving substance abuse/addiction and other offenses.Dennis shares his over 20 years of experience in the field with his 300,000 plus followers on Tiktok and Instagram, Facebook, and Youtube. He offers tips and insight into divorce, child support, and other family law matters, as well as relationship advice. You can also listen to his Divorce Stories Podcast to hear interviews that help guide and inform people through their marriage or their divorce journey and beyond.What we discuss:• Dennis’ beginning as a divorce lawyer• Dennis’ family system and its impact on him• The impact of being a divorce attorney on Dennis’ relationship• Common issues couples deal with to prevent divorce• “We gotta make it work” mentality• The detriments of staying together for the kids• Importance of a healthy relationship in a family• Busting divorce myths• Narcissists in relationships• Dennis’ experience with relationship fallouts• The impact of Dennis’ career on his children• Listening to your own advice Links mentioned:IG for Dennis Vetrano, Jr. @drvlawFollow:-Instagram: @kristie_overstreet-Facebook: @DrKristieOverstreet-Come join me over in our Ideal Connection FB Group: https://drkristieoverstreet.com/icfbgroup
Are you struggling with making a connection with somebody? Do you feel embarrassed when it comes to talking about sex with your partner? Pushing them away whenever the topic arises? If so, it's time to explore your attachment style. In this episode, I'll cover the influence of attachment styles on your relationships, how they were formed in your childhood, and how this relates to adulthood. Understanding attachment styles and intimacy. Covered in this episode: • Attachment styles and how they affect your relationship• Benefits of understanding attachment styles• How attachment styles form during childhood• An emotionally and physically satisfied child will have secure attachments• A child will have insecure attachments if they do not get their needs met• The four attachment styles• First type: Anxious attachment style• Second typet: Dismissive Avoidant attachment style• Third type: Disorganized/Fearful Avoidant attachment style• Fourth type: Secure attachment style• A child’s perspective of attachment styles• Dismissive avoidant children did not learn how to take care of themselves• The idea of needing help from others makes them feel insecure• Fearful avoidant children display controlling and manipulative behavior• Sex for them is an expression of affection• Understand that you can work through your attachment style and become secure• Become more aware of yourself in relationships• Difference between sex and intimacy Join me in a virtual workshop alongside my good friend and therapist, Julie Ingber. We talk about walking you through your attachment styles and how they affect your sex and intimacy on a deeper level. For more information https://drkristieoverstreet.com/attachment-intimacy-workshop Links mentioned:Follow:-Instagram: @kristie_overstreet-Facebook: @DrKristieOverstreet-Come join me over in our Ideal Connection FB Group: https://drkristieoverstreet.com/icfbgroup
Ways to Stop Arguing and Resolve the IssueIf you're in a relationship (or have been in one in the past), you know how difficult it is to work through conflict. Depending on your relationship's health, you either resolve the issue or get deeper into the conflict cycle. Your days of constantly arguing are over because, in this episode, I'll help you to stop arguing and start resolving your issues. Covered in this episode: • How I've changed how I deal with conflict• Why do we get stuck in arguments?• Three ways to stop an argument, including three examples for each Don't miss this episode so you can improve your communication and feel more connected in all of your relationships. Links mentioned:Follow:-Instagram: @kristie_overstreet-Facebook: @DrKristieOverstreet-Come join me over in our Ideal Connection FB Group: https://drkristieoverstreet.com/icfbgroup
Relationships are all about giving and taking. Feelings, communication, and actions need to come from both partners. No one in a relationship wants to feel neglected or cared for. However, couples sometimes face the problem of giving too little and taking too much. Partnerships without equality are problematic. That's why Dr. Kristie will talk about the real benefits of equality in relationships in this episode. After listening to this episode, you'll have the strategies to improve intimacy, focusing on both partners caring for their share of responsibilities within the relationship.Also, in this episode:What is equality in relationships?How do power and control show up in relationship dynamics?4 signs of relationship inequality 3 benefits of keeping your relationship equal and balancedHow equality in relationships increases intimacy?Be sure to listen to the entire episode so you can build your healthy relationship.Links mentioned:Follow:-Instagram: @kristie_overstreet-Facebook: @DrKristieOverstreet-Come join me over in our Ideal Connection FB Group: https://drkristieoverstreet.com/icfbgroup
In this episode, Dr. Kristie talks about past and current relationships as well as the importance of exploring our needs, wants, and desires. Also in this episode: Patterns of self-sabotageThe fear of what others would thinkThe advantages of being vulnerable as well as its challengesTrust IssuesTaking a look inward and stop pointing the finger at othersGet ready to stop making relationships harder than they have to be.Follow:-Instagram: @kristie_overstreet-Facebook: @DrKristieOverstreet-Come join me over in our Ideal Connection FB Group: https://drkristieoverstreet.com/icfbgroup
Feeling bored in your relationships is worse than having arguments. There are many reasons why couples get bored with each other. It could be a lack of effort. It could be routine. Whatever the reason is, you are not alone. Boredom is a common problem couples face, especially those in long-term relationships.But you don’t have to bored. Luckily, in this episode, Dr. Kristie talks about simple and practical steps that you can take to spice up a relationship that has gone stale. After this episode, you’ll know exactly what to do to get over feeling bored with your partner. What We Discuss:•71% of men and 49% of women engage in acts of infidelity – this could be caused by boredom in relationships•Getting bored with your partner isn’t an overnight thing; it creeps in.•First hack: Search inward. What do you need to do that can impact the relationship and connection?•Self-reflect on what leads you to get bored•Second hack: Look back to your relationship history•Do things that you used to enjoy that you haven’t done in a long time•Third hack: Don’t forget about play•Recreational play and sexual play will spice things up with your bored partner•Fourth hack: Create a bucket list together•Forget the barriers and impossibility of your bucket list; just write!•Fifth: Change sex locations and positions•Try something you’ve never tried before•Bonus hack: Take sex off the table! Build anticipation.•The anticipation for sex will arouse any bored person•Build up a “sexual buffet”Follow:-Instagram: @kristie_overstreet-Facebook: @DrKristieOverstreet-Come join me over in our Ideal Connection FB Group: https://drkristieoverstreet.com/icfbgroup
According to the National Association for Anorexia Nervosa and Associated Disorders, approximately 30 million Americans live with an eating disorder. If you or someone you know belong to this statistic, then this episode for you. Sarah Gottfried joins us to talk about her journey of overcoming an eating disorder. What started of as wanting the perfect physical image and innocent simple dieting, spiraled into a path of rigidity, confinement, and malnourishment. In this episode, she shares the steps she took and the kind of support system that helped her overcome her eating disorder.If you’re struggling with something similar, you’ll feel empowered and inspired to overcome disordered eating after listening to this episode. If you know someone struggling, be sure to tune in also. This episode will teach you what and what not to say to someone with an eating disorder. We discuss:•How wanting the perfect image brought Sarah to the path of an eating disorder •Unconventional ways to recovery•How important it is to clean out your social media when you are recovering•Finding a support system to help you •What and what not to say to someone struggling with an eating disorder•Things you can do to help a loved one with disordered eating•Sarah’s process of writing Full: A Memoir of Overcoming an Eating DisorderCome join me over in our free FB group The Ideal Connection http://www.facebook.com/groups/idealconnection/
Have you ever had someone hurt you so bad but felt like there’s nothing you can do about it? I want to let you know that you have the power to do something about it. How people treat you is 100% in your hands. That's the philosophy behind Fix Yourself First is to take this power, embrace it, and gain control over yourself. In this episode, I’m sharing with you how to change how people treat you, from why we struggle to do it to the five go-to tips to make the changes you deserve. Let’s identify the root cause of why you choose to be a people pleaser. Once that’s identified, I’ll walk you through the steps on how you can be the wind that controls what happens to you. We discuss the following:•Reasons why we struggle to change the way people treat us•Validation that comes from within•Five things we can do to change the way people treat usYou don't want to miss this one to take back your power and stop waiting for others to change Follow:-Instagram: @kristie_overstreet-Facebook: @DrKristieOverstreet-Come join me over in our Ideal Connection FB Group: https://drkristieoverstreet.com/icfbgroup
Where there are human beings, there are relationships. And where there are relationships, there is sex. For every human being, there is a different turn-on. Some people respond to the different parts of the body, but there are also many people who get turned on by erotica. Erotic literature and stories have given many people permission to explore their own feelings and sexual fantasies without shame. In this episode, we are joined by an erotica writer and podcaster under the pen name Ruan Willow. She has written romance and erotic romance books and even started her own publishing house. We discuss:-Why Ruan is writing under a pen name and has kept herself anonymous- How she manages to be a blogger, influencer, and an author all at the same time- What erotica is and why Ruan is so passionate about it- How erotica can help individuals discover what turns them on- How erotica can help couples and partners try new things out- How erotica takes you on self-awareness and self-pleasure and helps you figure out what feels good for youAfter listening to this episode, you’ll be more accepting of yourself and your sexuality. There’s no shame in finding out what sexually charges you.Follow:-Instagram: @kristie_overstreet-Facebook: @DrKristieOverstreet-Come join me over in our Ideal Connection FB Group: https://drkristieoverstreet.com/icfbgroup
Have you ever felt out of control or so anxious that you felt disconnected from your body? Maybe you felt so angry that all you could do was cry. So, how do you regulate your emotions?Emotions themselves are neither good nor bad, but our experiences with them can be difficult or painful. When we don't know how to deal with distress, we might turn to unhelpful patterns—avoiding or fixating on negative emotions—without realizing it.We have to develop healthy skills to build our sense of self-awareness. We need to know what we are feeling to choose a response to it.In this episode, you'll learn how to regulate your emotions with Domiana Ndour. She is a retired professional basketball player, turned two-time bestselling author, somatic healer, coach, international speaker, certified yoga instructor, babywearing educator, wife, and mom who is equipping busy moms and kids with the tools to self-heal, regulate emotions, break the cycle, and manifest the life they love.We're discussing:- Overcoming the guilt of taking care of ourselves- Evolving in motherhood- How intimacy changed in her relationship- The importance of resiliency- The power of emotional regulation- Building a better connection with self- The problem with overthinking- How to use somatic healing to improve the connection between mind and bodyAfter this episode, you'll better understand how your emotions develop and how you can intentionally regulate them on a daily basis. You'll feel more connected to yourself and others as a result of emotional regulation in this episode.
Have you ever wondered what your purpose in life was? Or, struggled to find what you're passionate about? You're not alone. Almost all of us have wondered about this at some point. But, the goal is to take action on our purpose.In today's episode, I'm chatting with Christie Rocha, mental health-obsessed podcast host, millennial mom of 2, and entrepreneur, about her journey of finding her passion. We discuss her journey and experience in:- Postpartum depression- Mental health- Power of self-growth- Asking yourself "What's wrong with me?"- Dealing with the judgment of self- Surviving anxiety spirals- Resetting ourselves- And so much more!Don't miss this episode and get inspired about moving forward with your purpose and passion!
If you’ve ever been through a hard breakup or divorce from a toxic relationship then you know how difficult it is to imagine finding happiness again. Join me for a conversation with Lisa and Chris, co-founders of Been There Got Out, to discuss their journey of finding love and hope after high-conflict divorces. They started with a friendship that soon developed into a loving and romantic relationship and they are sharing their journey here.In today's episode, we're discussing:- Emotional detachment in relationships- Finding hope and how to trust again- How to survive in a relationship with a narcissist- Finding love again- Separating personal and professional relationships- Moving from friendship to a romantic relationships- Support if you're struggling with a high-conflict divorceDon't miss this episode!Follow:-Instagram: @kristie_overstreet-Facebook: @DrKristieOverstreet-Come join me over in our Ideal Connection FB Group: https://drkristieoverstreet.com/icfbgroup
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