Fix Yourself First with Dr. Kristie

Join us for an insightful exploration of the intricacies of sexual connections and relationship dynamics.Renowned sex educator Emily Nagoski teams up with Dr. Kristie Overstreet to unravel the complexities of sexual satisfaction, self-discovery, and navigating societal expectations. In this episode, Dr. Kristie and Dr. Emily Nagoski delve deep into the importance of self-connection, pleasure, and authenticity in fostering healthy, fulfilling relationships. From challenging gender roles to reframing the conversation around desire and pleasure, Dr. Nagoski shares valuable insights aimed at empowering individuals to embrace their sexuality with confidence and joy. Whether you're seeking inspiration, practical advice, or a fresh perspective on sexual wellbeing, this episode offers wisdom and encouragement to guide you on your journey towards greater intimacy and connection.What we discuss:Improving sexual connections and relationships.Sexual wellbeing and pleasure in long-term relationships.Desire, pleasure, and emotional connection in relationships.Prioritizing sex in relationships and maintaining a healthy connection.Breaking free from societal expectations in sexual relationships.Gender roles, sexuality, and pleasure in relationships.Let's connect atEmily Nogoski https://www.emilynagoski.com/IG and FB: @DrKristieOverstreet

It can be tough whether it's starting for the first time or maybe even restarting the steps towards your goals.Most of the time it's the 3 P's that get in the way of forward movement.In this episode you'll learn how to identify and overcome the 3 P's:PerfectionismPeople PleasingProcrastinationDr. Kristie will share examples from her life as well as others to help you make the changes you need to create a better relationship with yourself and others, so you can design the life you deserve.Get ready to unlock the keys to overcoming obstacles on your path to self-improvement.What we discuss:Overcoming obstacles to self-improvement. Perfectionism and self-sabotage in personal growth.Perfectionism and self-acceptance. People-pleasing habits and their impact on mental health. Silencing inner voice due to fear of judgment. Procrastination and taking action. IG and FB: @DrKristieOverstreetKeywords:

Are you ready to embark on a journey of self-discovery and growth?We explore common behaviors hindering self-connection and growth.In this episode, Dr. Kristie talks about 10 common behaviors that can get in the way of having a good relationship with oneself, such as self-criticism, perfectionism, negative self-talk, and avoiding self-reflection. Dr. Overstreet provides suggestions for "fixing" each behavior. Start by applying these strategies today, and stay tuned for more insights in our upcoming episodes!What we discuss:Common behaviors hindering self-connection and growth. Self-criticism, perfectionism, and negative self-talk. Self-compassion, boundaries, and forgiveness. Self-care and personal growth habits.Common self-sabotaging behaviors in relationships. Let's connect at IG and FB: @DrKristieOverstreet

Discover the Secrets to Healthy RelationshipLearn how to assess your relationship health and avoid staying in unfulfilling connections. Explore the key dynamics that make a relationship thrive, from mutual respect to effective conflict resolution. Discover the importance of quality time, shared values, and trust in nurturing a loving partnership.In this episode, Dr. Kristie dives deep into the world of relationships, shedding light on what it takes to build and maintain a fulfilling partnership. Whether in a relationship or looking to improve your connection with others, this episode has insights that can make a real difference.What we discuss:Healthy relationships and self-assessmentRelationship valuesShared goals and equality in healthy relationshipsBuilding trust in relationshipsLet's connect at IG and FB: @DrKristieOverstreet

How can constantly seeking other people's opinions prevent someone from trusting their own judgement and decision making?In the episode, Dr. Kristie gives five steps someone can take to start trusting themselves more: reflecting on their core values, practicing self-compassion, cultivating self-awareness, looking at their past progress and small goals, and learning to say no.Mindfulness is also an important bonus step.While getting others' perspectives is fine, people need to bring their own perspectives to the table as well and make decisions that feel right for them.What we discuss:Trusting personal opinions and intuitionSeeking external validation vs. self-trust in decision-makingValues-based decision making for personal and professional growthBuilding self-trust through self-awarenessCelebrate small accomplishmentsTrusting oneself and setting boundariesLet's connect at IG and FB: @DrKristieOverstreet

How do we define fidelity? What's cheating even in non-monogamous relationships?How do you deal with the feelings that come up?How do you have conversations about them and everything in between? We tend to think of being jealous in such a bad light, but there are some good things that can come from it. In the same way, there are a lot of different types of relationships, from monogamous to relationship chaos and everything in between. In this episode, I'm chatting with Paige Bond. She is a marriage and family therapist, she helps individuals, and couples work on feeling more connected and secure in their relationships.We're going to talk about how to deal with jealousy and be in an ethical, non-monogamy relationship. The different sides of jealousy, negotiations, talking, connecting, and everything else is covered in this episode.What we discuss:What does ethical non-monogamy mean?What is polyamory?How to create agreements around sexual desire? Jealousy and how to deal with it. What is considered cheating? How to ask yourself what you want? Defining terms like fidelity and cheatingLet's connect at Paige Bond: @paigebondcoachingIG and FB: @DrKristieOverstreet

Do you ever experience feelings of rejection, abandonment, emotional abuse, physical threat, or even holding content? It may indicate a problem with emotional safety.If you want to feel more emotionally safe in a current relationship or a future relationship.In this episode, we will discuss emotional safety, what truly occurs when we lack it, how to restore sex and intimacy when they are lacking, the relationship between our attachment style and emotional safety, how that's connected to it, and the 10 practical steps to start practicing and doing right now to build up emotional safety.What we discuss:How can low emotional security be a problem?How emotional safety affects sex and intimacyWhat to look for if a partner lacks emotional safety.How attachment styles affect our emotional safetyHow do we build emotional safety?How to build trustLet's connect at IG and FB: @DrKristieOverstreet

No one could be harder on me than I am on myself...I beat myself up harder than anyone else ever could...With a loud inner critic which often masquerades as "motivation," it's easy to forget the importance of self-compassion.This episode offers empowerment to cultivate healthier relationships, not just with yourself, but also with others. We dive into the power of self-compassion and how to develop it, all while sharing personal experiences and motivational mantras that have weathered challenging times. Armed with these simple yet powerful tools, stay grounded and focused in the present, letting go of past mistakes or simply seeking ways to be gentler with yourself. So, tune in and be sure to share this episode with someone you knows needs it!What we discuss:Developing Self-CompassionPracticing Self-Compassion for Personal GrowthWhat is self-compassion?How to give yourself grace?How to let go of negativity?Practice self-compassion journalingMantras that help develop self-compassionLet's connect at IG and FB: @DrKristieOverstreet

Wondering how to navigate the highs and lows of embracing your unique identity, especially in the face of societal norms? Join us as we engage in a heartfelt and honest discussion with the inspiring duo, Lindsay Boccardo and Lauren Moffatt. Our guests delve into their personal experiences of overcoming internalized homophobia, religious and spiritual trauma, and complicated family dynamics. They share the fear, courage, and resilience that has enabled them to stand tall in their truth.In this episode, we talk about their experiences of coming out and the importance of supportive partners and allies. Lindsay and Lauren provide useful advice on how to create an accepting environment for LGBTQIA+ individuals and their families. Finally, our guests recount the empowering process of personal growth that comes from being true to oneself. Join us on this inspiring journey as we explore the dynamics of coming out, the pressure of purity culture, and the power of authenticity. Be prepared to be moved and inspired.What we discuss:Overcoming Challenges and Embracing AuthenticityNavigating LGBTQIA+ Identity and Religious TraumaNavigating Purity CultureComing Out and Living AuthenticallySupporting LGBTQIA+ Individuals and Their FamiliesFinding Authenticity and Personal GrowthLet's connect at The Woods podcast, hosted by Lauren and Lindsay https://www.lindsayboccardo.com/the-woods.htmlIG and FB: @DrKristieOverstreet

Facing life-altering decisions like starting IVF and getting engaged made me explore a unique six-step decision-making method. This method is not just about me; it's about you finding your way through hard choices, about embracing the empowerment that comes with making them, and about keeping an open heart and open mind. I'll unpack my process of talking, writing, researching, and seeking answers, guiding you toward making decisions that feel right for you.Trust is vital when making major life decisions, In this episode we'll delve into how to foster that trust in oneself. We'll also discuss how to navigate when you feel unsure and how to handle the inevitable setbacks. Remember, growth is not linear, and taking a step back often precedes moving forward. We'll stand together facing the tough decisions, making this formidable journey less intimidating. What we discuss:Making Difficult Life DecisionsThe Decision-Making MethodSix Steps to Mastering Major DecisionsEffective Decision Making and Future PlansNavigating Through Major Life DecisionsThe Art of Making Significant Life ChoicesOvercoming the Intimidation of Difficult DecisionsEmpowerment through Life-Altering ChoicesTrust and GrowthLet's connect at IG and FB: @DrKristieOverstreet

Examining our sexual template, these are the messages we received growing up through young-adult and adulthood that shape how we see ourselves and our sexual selves. In this episode, we talked about rewriting that template, examining our needs for emotional and physical closeness, confronting sexually demeaning messages, incorporating sexual touch into relationships, communicating desire, having wonderful sexual experiences, and then figuring out how to revive a bedroom where nothing is happening. I'm going to share my interview with Paige Bond LMFT from her podcast, Stubborn Love.This conversation is about breaking sexual taboos and exploring pleasure, intimacy, and equality. What we discuss:Learning about sexThe mind is the biggest driving force.How do you know when to rewrite your template?Examining expectations of yourselfThe importance of self-awareness and self-controlStarting with being intentional and realistic.The journey of sexual explorationThe importance of creating an agreement or pact as a coupleBuilding a Sexual BuffetKeeping some equality in the relationshipThe power of sharing the loadFocus on the quality and voice of your needs.Let's connect at IG and FB: @DrKristieOverstreetConnect with Paige Bond LMFT @paigebondcoaching

Have you ever felt lost? Not just getting lost when driving or hiking somewhere; It means getting internally lost?Are you living a life where you feel connected to who you are? And where do you want to be in your relationships?In this episode, we're talking about what you do when you're feeling lost in your own life. Whether you're questioning your relationship or the sense of losing who you are in it.I want you to consider the internal sense of loss you may feel when you don't know what to do next, what you want, and who you are.You'll learn about the two things that happen when you question yourself.What we discuss:The internal sense of loss.The questions to ask yourselfIs this it...is this all there is?The ability to breathe again moment.What is this all I want? Common questions people ask in relationships.The difference between you and other people.Let's connect at IG and FB: @DrKristieOverstret

Is true love a reason to be monogamous?What happens when a relationship ends? If we think there's only one person for us, what would happen if they died? What if we ended our relationship with them? Why did those connections end? Does that mean the relationship meant nothing? In this episode, we're talking with Stephanie Sellars,a writer, filmmaker and performer who holds an MFA from Columbia University School of the Arts and Bennington writing seminars. Her films have won awards and screened at many festivals. Lust, Life, Love was released by 1091 pictures on various platforms and she can also be heard seen on Spotify and her jazz album Girl Who Loves.You're going to take away so many interesting things from today's episode about the film based on Stephanie's personal experiences with her own polyamorous relationships.What we discuss:True love and monogamyStephanie's journey to polyamoryThe process of coming to terms with polyamorous relationshipsFinding the authenticity of the filmBalancing acting and producer rolesTrue love and monogamyThe importance of self-care and self-awareness.Stephanie's idea of "There’s no such thing as the one"The importance of communication and boundariesWhat to take away from Lust Life LoveLust Life Love TrailerLust Life Love (2021) | Official TrailerIG @the_stephanieSellarsLet's connect at IG and FB: @DrKristieOverstret

How's your relationship with your mother?Do you need to set up boundaries with your mom?There are a lot of problems that can arise in relationships with parents. Depending on how well that relationship is going, there can come a time when you really need to consider how it's impacting you, your family, and others close to you. My guest today is Abbey William a behavioral health therapist who provides families with professional assistance and writes and speaks on various parenting and mental health-related topics. She puts so much work into addressing generational trauma, exhaustion, and difficulties related to parenting identity. She is dedicated to connecting with, empowering, and supporting parents in all stages of motherhood.In this episode, we talk about her own experience, her identity as a mother, and the loneliness that results from unhealthy relationships. Additionally, when is the best time to put a parent on "no contact" if necessary, how we set boundaries, and much more.What we discuss:What led Abbey to social work and motherhoodAbbey’s passion to help moms feel less alone.Loneliness pockets in motherhood.The estrangement project.Going no contact with a parent. Dealing with the messaging from society about motherhood.The healing journey is hard and painful.Coming home to yourself and honoring yourself. You do not have to feel guilty for walking away. Abbey Williamshttps://youthemother.com/https://www.instagram.com/youthemother/Let's connect at IG and FB:@DrKristieOverstret

The voice in the back of our heads, which troubles 70% of individuals, is mental chatter. And it results from having low self-esteem. They developed a negative acceptance of themselves as well as a lack of a positive inner voice. This 70% number is significantly lower since I believe that more individuals battle with that mental chatter.In this episode, we'll discuss the distinction between your inner critic and your inner voice, also known as your inner direction. Some individuals refer to this inner voice as their gut feeling or intuition, while others call it their inner critic.We'll also look into several scenarios in which you might notice the differences and discuss the method for doing so. I will also share tips that work well for me.What we discuss:Mental chatter and the inner critic.Separating the inner critic and inner voice.Loud inner critic vs. compassionate inner guidance.How to deal with the inner critic?Comparing yourself to others, social media and personalization.Should statements and labeling.Nurturing your inner guidance and inner critic.JournalingHow to turn down your inner critic.Let's connect at IG: @kristie_overstreetFB: @DrKristieOvers

Discussions about trauma are everywhere. That's because almost everyone has gone through a traumatic event at some point. Everyone deals with it and reacts to it differently. Yet what unites us is the idea that trauma results in dysfunction in how we respond to it. and the fact that the trauma response is a sign of strength, not weakness.In this episode, I'm chatting with Dr. MaryCatherine McDonald, a Ph.D. trauma researcher, author, and certified life coach. She spent over a decade researching trauma, grief, and resilience. She has written several scholarly articles and three books on trauma and mental illness.I love her research methodology and how she simplifies even the most difficult concepts. Get ready for this discussion on how the trauma response is never wrong, and how we need to frame and look at trauma differently going forward.What we discuss:The trauma response is never wrong.What led her to work in trauma?The trauma response is a strength response.Misconceptions about the trauma response.How does trauma affect relationships?Understanding your partner’s emotional state.The importance of personal accountability and acceptanceFor more information on Unbroken, check out Dr. MaryCatherine McDonald and her workhttps://alchemycoaching.life/https://www.instagram.com/mc.phd/Let's connect at IG: @kristie_overstreetFB: @DrKristieOverstreet

Ever feel like your relationship is harder than it’s suppose to be? That no matter how hard your try it feels like you just can’t make it work?You could be missing one of the lessons I’m sharing with you after 16+ years of working with couples. In this episode we’re going to take on the 5 lessons.It can be overwhelming to be in a relationship. But when difficulties arise, they make you feel helpless. You certainly could use a few lessons to support you as you show up to be your best self. It is very possible that as you alter and become your healthiest self, maybe you'll be in a better position to decide what has to be decided for your own wellbeing.Covered in this episode:How to deal with problems in your relationship.“We can't expect someone to stay the same, we don't stay the same.”Be realistic in your expectations of your partner.Believe their actions and words.The power of trust.The importance of emotional safety.How powerful is selfishness?Let's connect at IG: @kristie_overstreetFB: @DrKristieOverstreet

How can you communicate more effectively in your relationships? Start by accepting that you have no control over anyone else. You only have control over yourself, and that means being fully and authentically responsible for how you communicate.Your feelings, thoughts, beliefs, behaviors, and experiences effect how you show up in your relationships.Are you taking what someone says personally? Are you taking responsibility for what comes out of your mouth? Are you playing the victim? Do you get caught up in tit-for-tat arguments?In today’s episode, Dr. Kristie will walk you through five specific actions you may start taking to improve your communication skills in relationships.Covered in this episode: What are the best ways to communicate with your partner?How to take radical responsibility in communication?The problem with personalizing.Playing the victim.Knowing what your wants and needs are.Speaking up for your needs.The importance of communication and working through issues.Links mentioned:https://drkristieoverstreet.com/iim IG: @kristie_overstreetFB: @DrKristieOverstreet

Achieving your goals doesn't always require hard work, determination, or willpower.What's more important is your process or steps to complete the goal.Although you have had willpower in the past, did you achieve your goal? You've put a lot of effort into it and worked really hard on it, but did you achieve your goals?Did having determination make your goal happen? Even if you put forth a lot of effort and have a strong sense of willpower, you know that you don't have a doable process that suits you and your unique self.In this episode, Dr. Kristie talks about the five simple strategies for staying accountable that she uses to achieve personal and professional goals.Covered in this episode:How to achieve your goals without working so hard, having the determination, or the willpower?The power of adopting a consistent mindsetSetting realistic and doable goals.Setting up and having the visuals will help you create the steps to achieve your goalsMake it easy to accomplish steps or processes to meet your goal.Give yourself permission to ask for outside help.Links mentioned:https://drkristieoverstreet.com/iim IG: @kristie_overstreetFB: @DrKristieOverstreet

Do you ever get so lost in overthinking that you can't focus or make good decisions? Whether you're worried about what you said, that fight with your partner that y'all haven't worked out, fear that your job will be cut, or about what could happen to your children?These are areas that do deserve attention especially when problems need solving, but getting stuck in your overthinking will buckle you.Overthinking will continue to get in the way of your progress if you let it. You can't emotionally, physically, mentally, or spiritually afford to continue your habit of overthinking.In this episode, Dr. Kristie will share the tools you can use the next time you get caught in your overthinking patterns.Covered in this episode: What is overthinking?Common reasons that lead us to overthinkHow we get stuck in the past, present, and future state of overthinking?Proven tools to help you stop your habit of overthinkingLinks mentioned:https://drkristieoverstreet.com/iim IG: @kristie_overstreetFB: @DrKristieOverstreet