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To Love Honor and Vacuum

Author: Sheila Gregoire

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Tired of Christian pat answers about marriage? The podcast that goes in-depth into marriage, parenting, and even sex--to see how we can live the passionate life we were meant for. Paired with To Love, Honor and Vacuum--the blog!
91 Episodes
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We want to give a special welcome this week to our first non-family-member guest, Marc Alan Schelske! We hope you enjoy our discussions today all about emotional intelligence and emotional maturity.Links to things mentioned:Marc Alan Schelske's book: https://www.amazon.com/Wisdom-Your-Heart-Discovering-God-Given-ebook/dp/B073VCKVMLhttps://marcalanschelske.com/Podcast: https://marcalanschelske.com/indexes/index-the-apprenticeship-way-podcast/Workbook mentioned: https://marcalanschelske.com/untangled-workbook/And don't forget to sign up for Sheila's newsletter! https://tolovehonorandvacuum.com/join-the-newsletter/
Join us for another week of the To Love, Honor, and Vacuum Podcast, where Sheila explores some of your comments on how the beliefs we internalize affect a couple's sex life. Link to the blog: http://www.tolovehonorandvacuum.comLink to Pre-Order The Great Sex Rescue: https://www.amazon.com/Great-Sex-Rescue-Recover-Intended/dp/1540900827
Join us this week as Sheila Wray Gregoire and Rebecca Gregoire Lindenbach discuss some important topics -- sexual abuse and when to seek professional help.Links to things mentioned in the podcast: The need for licensed counselling :  https://tolovehonorandvacuum.com/2019/03/question-your-biblical-counsellor/Dan Allender's book: https://www.amazon.com/The-Wounded-Heart-Dan-B-Allender-audiobook/dp/B01ATOK6H8"98 Ways You Could Be Sinning Against Your Husband": https://tolovehonorandvacuum.com/2019/06/sinning-against-husband/
This month on the blog we’re discussing all things ‘Libido’! Listen in to hear Rebecca Gregoire Lindenbach and Sheila Wray Gregoire talk about what could possibly be the key to unlocking your spouses’ low libido, and perhaps make you rethink how you see 'frequency' in relation to healthy sex! Blog Posts Mentioned in this Podcast: How frequently should a healthy couple have sex?:https://tolovehonorandvacuum.com/2020/09/how-much-sex-should-you-have-every-week/How to see Every Man’s Battle Differently: https://tolovehonorandvacuum.com/2017/06/every-mans-battle-is-wrong/How to see Sex from a Different Perspective:  https://tolovehonorandvacuum.com/2020/07/understanding-sex-from-a-womans-perspective/Why We Need to See Sex as Mutual: https://tolovehonorandvacuum.com/2019/03/godly-sex-is-mutual-sex/
This week Sheila is flying solo on the podcast, and getting a bit more controversial! Listen in to hear her discuss the concept of how being content with your sex life can perhaps cause it to flourish even more, how sex and talking are NOT equivalent, and how Christians should better handle speaking about divorce.  Links for Things Mentioned:Free Sex Pep-Talk Course! https://tolovehonorandvacuum.com/sex-pep-talk-course/This week's mentioned post: https://tolovehonorandvacuum.com/2020/09/libido-can-high-drive-spouses-be-content-with-sex-frequency/My Post on "Are you to blame if your husband has an affair?" https://tolovehonorandvacuum.com/2019/07/are-you-to-blame-if-your-spouse-cheats-on-you/Book Recommendation: Marc Alan Schelske's "The Wisdom of your Heart" https://www.amazon.com/Wisdom-Your-Heart-Discovering-God-Given/dp/0781414512/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=marc+alan+wisdom&qid=1599678760&sr=8-1
How do you handle it when tough conversations come up and loved ones are making decisions you don't agree with? Especially when marriage and engagements are the starting point for those hard conversations?Today Sheila Wray Gregoire and Rebecca Gregoire Lindenbach from To Love, Honor and Vacuum talk through different Reader Questions and come up with some tips on communicating and how to discuss issues such as pornography and past trauma with your fiance! Some links mentioned in this podcast:The Honeymoon Course!https://tolovehonorandvacuum.com/the-honeymoon-course-start-your-marriage-and-your-sex-life-off-well/Our 'Love & Respect' Blog Posts:https://tolovehonorandvacuum.com/2019/01/love-and-respect-review-how-sex-portrayed/Should you marry someone who uses porn?https://tolovehonorandvacuum.com/2019/01/should-you-marry-porn-user/BOOKS MENTIONED:Why I Didn't Rebel: https://www.amazon.com/Why-Didnt-Rebel-Twenty-Two-Year-Old-Narrow/dp/0718090004/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=why+i+didn%27t+rebel&qid=1599102064&sr=8-1Discipline That Connects with Your Child's Heart: https://www.amazon.com/Discipline-that-Connects-Childs-Heart/dp/0984994203
What if, when flirting, your signals keep getting crossed and for some reason your wife doesn't respond well to your advances? In today's episode, Sheila and Keith, (plus Rebecca and Connor!), sit down to break down why flirting and groping are different things, as well as how to optimize your timing and context when flirting! Check out the blog for so much more on this topic, and fun challenges to do with your spouse!http://tolovehonorandvacuum.com
What do you do if you can't/don't want to have intercourse, but other forms of sex are actually uncomfortable?Some Christian books tell women they should give sexual favors, because they're "simple" and take a "minimum of effort." Today Sheila Wray Gregoire and Rebecca Gregoire Lindenbach from To Love, Honor and Vacuum look at the complete picture--what this should look like in a healthy relationship, and how to think about it if one of you actually is physically uncomfortable.Because, as always, sex is supposed to be MUTUAL.Some links mentioned in this podcast:All my Audio books--and the free book studies that go along with my books:https://tolovehonorandvacuum.com/2020/08/audio-books-free-video-studies-and-more/My Boost Your Libido course!https://tolovehonorandvacuum.com/boost-libido-course/Our marital rape/consent/obligation sex podcast:https://tolovehonorandvacuum.com/2020/04/podcast-marital-rape-consent/And for more discussion on this podcast, check out the post that goes along with it!https://tolovehonorandvacuum.com/2020/08/podcast-when-oral-sex-manual-sex-hurt
Another Thursday, another episode of our podcast!It's Sheila Wray Gregoire and Rebecca Gregoire Lindenbach from the To Love, Honor and Vacuum blog, discussing expectations of the effort we put into sex and making one another feel good!And yes, we're still filming from Sheila's closet because the sound is best there! :) Check out the posts mentioned in the podcast: The Honeymoon course:https://tolovehonorandvacuum.com/the-honeymoon-course-start-your-marriage-and-your-sex-life-off-well/Rebecca's blog post:https://tolovehonorandvacuum.com/2020/08/can-christians-please-stop-talking-about-disciplining-babies/
Why do we feel such shame? How can we help men be more sensitive to women--without being creepy? And how can we as women be empathetic towards each other? These are questions Rebecca and I tackle in this week's podcast.Plus we'll discuss why using tampons does not impact your virginity (why do we even think that's a thing? Sheesh!).Check out the posts mentioned in the podcast: Our Whole Story puberty course!https://tolovehonorandvacuum.com/the-whole-story/And our period series--check out our first post. The rest are included!https://tolovehonorandvacuum.com/2020/08/periods-going-to-beach-teenager/
This week--how do you untangle sex problems, especially because there's usually not just one problem? And how to tell if there are red flags that something's really wrong!Thanks to our sponsor Ann Mainse, whose wonderful devotional Coffee with Him helps any woman walking through rough times--whether cancer or betrayal or heartache or disillusionment--find peace. Raw and real, Ann shows how we can be honest with God in the darkness.https://amzn.to/30CfBLAPosts mentioned in this podcast:The 5 Step Plan for Untangling Sex Problems:https://tolovehonorandvacuum.com/2020/07/why-are-so-many-sex-problems-in-marriage-so-hard-to-solve/We Need a New Definition of Sexhttps://tolovehonorandvacuum.com/2019/03/new-definition-sex/We Read Act of Marriage--So You Don't Have to!https://tolovehonorandvacuum.com/2020/04/act-of-marriage-lahaye-christian-sex-book-review/And don't forget to check out 31 Days to Great Sex to help you connect again and step-by-step rebuild your sex life!https://tolovehonorandvacuum.com/books-2/31-days-to-great-sex/
We often go to our pastors for marital advice and answers to tough questions. But what about the questions you can't ask them? In preparation for my Sex Questions You Can't Ask Your Pastor tomorrow at 9:00 PM Eastern Time.If you want to sign up, just follow the link to buy your ticket, which comes with a FREE copy of my book 31 Days to Great Sex, and a FREE copy of Spicy DaresSign Up for the Webinar HereBlog Post Extras
I've been talking on the blog about the mental load of housework and how it often falls on the wives, even when they are the one who works outside the house. I have also been saying that men can step up more because being a man doesn't make them less capable. Curiously, that sentiment has earned me the title of man-basher from some of my male commenters. So Let's talk about that.Podcast Extras9 Thoughts That Can Change Your Marriage
Let's talk about minimum community standards and how they can be used to reduce your mental load and get you and your spouse on the same page in terms of housework!
This month we are doing our series on emotional labour. In keeping with that trend, today's podcast is all about how much of a mental load it is to be solely in charge of housework, and how to find a healthier balance with your spouse.
What are the differences between men and women, and how important are they actually? Have we been focusing on the wrong thing?
So much of the teachings out there for young women is that when they are dating, they must be the gatekeeper and stop physical interactions from reaching their boyfriend's 'point of no return.' Let's talk about how this mentality often ends up holding women back from enjoying sex once they are married.Honeymoon Course
Today we talk about about how to handle being cooped up in the house spending all day every day with your spouse. It's not just something to get through, but something you can even grow to love! 
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Comments (2)

Karen Janicki

This podcast is quite interesting but I admit I don't fully understand why in 2019 we need to teach women how to be sexy. In our supposed progressive era where everyone is oversexed and under loved and sex is on every TV screen and magazine isn't sad and shocking that it's still a mystery how to be sexy? Now as a Christ follower I'm not nor never would condone the easy goes sleeping around with everyone and anyone attitude of our culture. But it seems that sadly the church has entirely stuck it's head in the sand when it comes to issues of sex. As Christian women this is a gift from our Loving God to us and we alone hold the keys to unwrapping it yet somehow we have shirked our right to crazy amazing sex by either giving it away like a cheap commodity or deceiving ourselves into believing you can't be BOTH pure and virtuous and seriously sexy at the same time which you absolutely can. We have all bought into the cultural lies that in order to be sexy you have to be thin and young and slutty, none of which is true. To be truly sexy you simply need to recognize the precious gift of sex God gave us and realize you are loved, valuable and made in God's image and the world's concepts of sex and sexy are sad and empty and just plain wrong. Let go of your fears and inhibitions with your husband. He is the man God gave you to do life with! So many Christian resources seem to feel the need to tell women how much men need sex and that we need to force ourselves to feel sexy and yet never acknowledge that women are just as sexual as men, but in different ways. So ladies enjoy sex! It's amazing! If you aren't having orgasms speak up. Tell your man what pleases you. Your husband loves you and almost every guy wants to pleasure his woman. Delight in the good gift of your holy sexuality in the bonds of marriage and delight in the pleasure it brings you. It's for you just as much as your husband! The clitoris contains 8,000 nerve endings and is one of the only body parts designed exclusively for pleasure- and God doesn't make mistakes. Skip the PJs and sleep naked. It's more comfortable anyway. Buy and wear lingerie whenever you please, not just special occasions. Make time for pleasure any time day or night and glorify God Song of Solomon style. We can reject the lies of our culture without rejecting the gift.

Sep 10th
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