Stuck Not Broken

Shutdown comes in two very different forms. The full collapse, like fainting, evolved to be brief, and the common kind of fainting doesn't add long-term risk to your heart. The heavy, gray, numb kind can last months or years, because people get stuck in it, not because it has to be permanent. You'll hear how shutdown differs from freeze, why mammals can't stay collapsed the way reptiles can, what long-term shutdown can cost your health, and why coming out of it often feels like irritability before it feels like calm. Then three practices to start with, beginning with the easiest.In this episode:- What dorsal vagal shutdown is, and how it differs from freeze- Why reptiles can stay immobile for a long time and mammals can't- How long fainting and other acute shutdowns last, and when fainting is a medical emergency- How people get stuck in long-term shutdown, and what it can cost your health- Why coming out of shutdown often feels like irritability or anger first- Three practices: passive safety cues, allowing the shutdown mindfully, and co-regulationI'm a therapist, not a doctor. This episode is educational and isn't medical advice. If you faint, especially with chest pain, a pounding or irregular heartbeat, during exercise or while lying down, get medical care.Sources:- Fainting, how long it lasts, and when to call for emergency help: NHS (UK National Health Service), "Fainting." https://www.nhs.uk/symptoms/fainting/- Vasovagal syncope: Mayo Clinic, "Vasovagal syncope: Symptoms and causes." https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/vasovagal-syncope/symptoms-causes/syc-20350527- Fainting and long-term heart risk (Framingham Heart Study): Soteriades ES, Evans JC, Larson MG, et al. Incidence and prognosis of syncope. N Engl J Med. 2002;347(12):878-885. https://doi.org/10.1056/NEJMoa012407- Playing dead lasts seconds to hours: Humphreys RK, Ruxton GD. A review of thanatosis (death feigning) as an anti-predator behaviour. Behav Ecol Sociobiol. 2018;72(2):22. https://doi.org/10.1007/s00265-017-2436-8- Playing dead depends on the danger around the animal: Carli G, Farabollini F. Tonic immobility as a survival, adaptive response and as a recovery mechanism. Prog Brain Res. 2022;271(1):305-329. https://doi.org/10.1016/bs.pbr.2022.02.012- Loneliness, isolation and early death: Holt-Lunstad J, Smith TB, Baker M, Harris T, Stephenson D. Loneliness and social isolation as risk factors for mortality: a meta-analytic review. Perspect Psychol Sci. 2015;10(2):227-237. https://doi.org/10.1177/1745691614568352- Heart disease, stroke, dementia, and the 15-cigarettes comparison: U.S. Surgeon General. Our Epidemic of Loneliness and Isolation (2023). https://www.hhs.gov/sites/default/files/surgeon-general-social-connection-advisory.pdf- Depression and outcomes after a heart attack: Lichtman JH, Froelicher ES, Blumenthal JA, et al. Depression as a risk factor for poor prognosis among patients with acute coronary syndrome: a scientific statement from the American Heart Association. Circulation. 2014;129(12):1350-1369. https://doi.org/10.1161/CIR.0000000000000019- The vagus nerve and the brain-gut connection: Breit S, Kupferberg A, Rogler G, Hasler G. Vagus nerve as modulator of the brain-gut axis in psychiatric and inflammatory disorders. Front Psychiatry. 2018;9:44. https://doi.org/10.3389/fpsyt.2018.00044- Brain and gut affect each other over 12 years (anxiety predicted new gut problems; gut problems predicted more anxiety and depression): Koloski NA, Jones M, Kalantar J, et al. The brain-gut pathway in functional gastrointestinal disorders is bidirectional: a 12-year prospective population-based study. Gut. 2012;61(9):1284-1290. https://doi.org/10.1136/gutjnl-2011-300474- IBS and depression or anxiety: Zamani M, Alizadeh-Tabari S, Zamani V. Systematic review with meta-analysis: the prevalence of anxiety and depression in patients with irritable bowel syndrome. Aliment Pharmacol Ther. 2019;50(2):132-143. https://doi.org/10.1111/apt.15325- Depression and inflammation: Dowlati Y, Herrmann N, Swardfager W, et al. A meta-analysis of cytokines in major depression. Biol Psychiatry. 2010;67(5):446-457. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.biopsych.2009.09.033- Depression and type 2 diabetes: Mezuk B, Eaton WW, Albrecht S, Golden SH. Depression and type 2 diabetes over the lifespan: a meta-analysis. Diabetes Care. 2008;31(12):2383-2390. https://doi.org/10.2337/dc08-0985- The turtle image: Deb Dana, from my interview with her, "Deb Dana Interview: Story Follows State, Climbing the Ladder and Diagnosing" (Stuck Not Broken, Episode 29, August 27, 2019).👉 New here? Find your stuck state, and your starting place: https://www.stucknotbroken.com/stuckOr go straight to what's best for you:👉Start free in the community: https://www.stucknotbroken.com/join?invitation_token=25c72b8c15987838a4a6bcc54b1bd652d520420c-d23357d7-4381-4003-be61-c1f4f0bb538d📘 Prefer to read, or want to support the show?: https://www.stucknotbroken.com/books🎧Practice on your own, free, no account, no card: https://app.stucknotbroken.com/?start=practice&src=podcast👥Prefer company? Move through it alongside others in the Unstucking Academy. $39/month, cancel anytime: https://www.stucknotbroken.com/unstuckingacademy😊 About the Host: Justin Sunseri is a therapist and coach committed to helping you live with calm, confidence, and connection without psychobabble or woo-woo. Justin is the author of the Stuck Not Broken book series, a member of the Polyvagal Institute's Editorial Board, a father of two, and a husband.✅ Crisis resources:National Suicide Prevention Hotline - 988National Domestic Violence Hotline -1 (800) 799-7233LGBT Trevor Project Lifeline - 1 (866) 488-7386National Sexual Assault Hotline - 1 (800) 656-4673Crisis Text Line - Text “HOME” to 741741Call 911 for an emergencyThis and other content produced by Justin Sunseri (“JustinLMFT”) (i.e; podcast, YouTube, Instagram, etc.) is not therapy, not intended to be therapy or be a replacement for therapy.  Nothing in this creates or indicates a therapeutic relationship.  Please consult with your therapist or seek for one in your area if you are experiencing mental health symptoms.  Nothing should be construed to be specific life advice; it is for educational and entertainment purposes only.Justin Sunseri is a Licensed Marriage & Family Therapist registered in the State of California (#99147).Don't forget to subscribe to the podcast! When you do, you will immediately get the next episode as soon as it's available. What's better than having the next episode of SNB ready and waiting for you? (Nothing, that's what.)

This is the last episode of Book One, and before you move on, it’s worth checking where you actually stand. You’ll get the questions you should be able to answer by now, and three mindsets to find yourself in: curious about your growth, sick of feeling this way, or close to giving up. Each one points to a different next step, and none of them is wrong. You’ll also hear what Books Two and Three cover, so you know what you’re signing up for.👉 New here? Find your stuck state, and your starting place: https://www.stucknotbroken.com/stuckOr go straight to what's best for you:👉Start free in the community: https://www.stucknotbroken.com/join?invitation_token=25c72b8c15987838a4a6bcc54b1bd652d520420c-d23357d7-4381-4003-be61-c1f4f0bb538d📘 Prefer to read, or want to support the show?: https://www.stucknotbroken.com/books🎧Practice on your own, free, no account, no card: https://app.stucknotbroken.com/?start=practice&src=podcast👥Prefer company? Move through it alongside others in the Unstucking Academy. $39/month, cancel anytime: https://www.stucknotbroken.com/unstuckingacademy😊 About the Host: Justin Sunseri is a therapist and coach committed to helping you live with calm, confidence, and connection without psychobabble or woo-woo. Justin is the author of the Stuck Not Broken book series, a member of the Polyvagal Institute's Editorial Board, a father of two, and a husband.✅ Crisis resources:National Suicide Prevention Hotline - 988National Domestic Violence Hotline -1 (800) 799-7233LGBT Trevor Project Lifeline - 1 (866) 488-7386National Sexual Assault Hotline - 1 (800) 656-4673Crisis Text Line - Text “HOME” to 741741Call 911 for an emergencyThis and other content produced by Justin Sunseri (“JustinLMFT”) (i.e; podcast, YouTube, Instagram, etc.) is not therapy, not intended to be therapy or be a replacement for therapy.  Nothing in this creates or indicates a therapeutic relationship.  Please consult with your therapist or seek for one in your area if you are experiencing mental health symptoms.  Nothing should be construed to be specific life advice; it is for educational and entertainment purposes only.Justin Sunseri is a Licensed Marriage & Family Therapist registered in the State of California (#99147).Don't forget to subscribe to the podcast! When you do, you will immediately get the next episode as soon as it's available. What's better than having the next episode of SNB ready and waiting for you? (Nothing, that's what.)

Eight sentences. That’s all your new narrative needs. This episode walks you through the exercise one step at a time, from naming your dominant defensive state to adding hope, with three examples of how it sounds put together. You’ll also hear why keeping it short matters, and why digging through every painful memory right now isn’t necessary and can even work against you.👉 New here? Find your stuck state, and your starting place: https://www.stucknotbroken.com/stuckOr go straight to what's best for you:👉Start free in the community: https://www.stucknotbroken.com/join?invitation_token=25c72b8c15987838a4a6bcc54b1bd652d520420c-d23357d7-4381-4003-be61-c1f4f0bb538d📘 Prefer to read, or want to support the show?: https://www.stucknotbroken.com/books🎧Practice on your own, free, no account, no card: https://app.stucknotbroken.com/?start=practice&src=podcast👥Prefer company? Move through it alongside others in the Unstucking Academy. $39/month, cancel anytime: https://www.stucknotbroken.com/unstuckingacademy😊 About the Host: Justin Sunseri is a therapist and coach committed to helping you live with calm, confidence, and connection without psychobabble or woo-woo. Justin is the author of the Stuck Not Broken book series, a member of the Polyvagal Institute's Editorial Board, a father of two, and a husband.✅ Crisis resources:National Suicide Prevention Hotline - 988National Domestic Violence Hotline -1 (800) 799-7233LGBT Trevor Project Lifeline - 1 (866) 488-7386National Sexual Assault Hotline - 1 (800) 656-4673Crisis Text Line - Text “HOME” to 741741Call 911 for an emergencyThis and other content produced by Justin Sunseri (“JustinLMFT”) (i.e; podcast, YouTube, Instagram, etc.) is not therapy, not intended to be therapy or be a replacement for therapy.  Nothing in this creates or indicates a therapeutic relationship.  Please consult with your therapist or seek for one in your area if you are experiencing mental health symptoms.  Nothing should be construed to be specific life advice; it is for educational and entertainment purposes only.Justin Sunseri is a Licensed Marriage & Family Therapist registered in the State of California (#99147).Don't forget to subscribe to the podcast! When you do, you will immediately get the next episode as soon as it's available. What's better than having the next episode of SNB ready and waiting for you? (Nothing, that's what.)

Most people believe change is possible. The harder question is whether you believe it’s possible for you. This episode makes the case that the belief you can’t change isn’t a fact but a story that reflects the state you’re in, and shows you the proof already in front of you: other people have changed, you’ve changed before, and you’re changing now. You’ll also hear the difference between thinking you can change and actually feeling it.👉 New here? Find your stuck state, and your starting place: https://www.stucknotbroken.com/stuckOr go straight to what's best for you:👉Start free in the community: https://www.stucknotbroken.com/join?invitation_token=25c72b8c15987838a4a6bcc54b1bd652d520420c-d23357d7-4381-4003-be61-c1f4f0bb538d📘 Prefer to read, or want to support the show?: https://www.stucknotbroken.com/books🎧Practice on your own, free, no account, no card: https://app.stucknotbroken.com/?start=practice&src=podcast👥Prefer company? Move through it alongside others in the Unstucking Academy. $39/month, cancel anytime: https://www.stucknotbroken.com/unstuckingacademy😊 About the Host: Justin Sunseri is a therapist and coach committed to helping you live with calm, confidence, and connection without psychobabble or woo-woo. Justin is the author of the Stuck Not Broken book series, a member of the Polyvagal Institute's Editorial Board, a father of two, and a husband.✅ Crisis resources:National Suicide Prevention Hotline - 988National Domestic Violence Hotline -1 (800) 799-7233LGBT Trevor Project Lifeline - 1 (866) 488-7386National Sexual Assault Hotline - 1 (800) 656-4673Crisis Text Line - Text “HOME” to 741741Call 911 for an emergencyThis and other content produced by Justin Sunseri (“JustinLMFT”) (i.e; podcast, YouTube, Instagram, etc.) is not therapy, not intended to be therapy or be a replacement for therapy.  Nothing in this creates or indicates a therapeutic relationship.  Please consult with your therapist or seek for one in your area if you are experiencing mental health symptoms.  Nothing should be construed to be specific life advice; it is for educational and entertainment purposes only.Justin Sunseri is a Licensed Marriage & Family Therapist registered in the State of California (#99147).Don't forget to subscribe to the podcast! When you do, you will immediately get the next episode as soon as it's available. What's better than having the next episode of SNB ready and waiting for you? (Nothing, that's what.)

Stuck and broken are two very different problems, and which one you believe you are changes everything about what comes next. This is the title chapter. You’ll hear why every one of us is running on the same biological hardware no matter how different our lives look, what it means to call your trauma a stuck state rather than a defect, and why the stuck point you’re in right now is the hopeful part. You’ll also hear why the next one, after this, isn’t failure. It’s just what growth looks like.👉 New here? Find your stuck state, and your starting place: https://www.stucknotbroken.com/stuckOr go straight to what's best for you:👉Start free in the community: https://www.stucknotbroken.com/join?invitation_token=25c72b8c15987838a4a6bcc54b1bd652d520420c-d23357d7-4381-4003-be61-c1f4f0bb538d📘 Prefer to read, or want to support the show?: https://www.stucknotbroken.com/books🎧Practice on your own, free, no account, no card: https://app.stucknotbroken.com/?start=practice&src=podcast👥Prefer company? Move through it alongside others in the Unstucking Academy. $39/month, cancel anytime: https://www.stucknotbroken.com/unstuckingacademy😊 About the Host: Justin Sunseri is a therapist and coach committed to helping you live with calm, confidence, and connection without psychobabble or woo-woo. Justin is the author of the Stuck Not Broken book series, a member of the Polyvagal Institute's Editorial Board, a father of two, and a husband.✅ Crisis resources:National Suicide Prevention Hotline - 988National Domestic Violence Hotline -1 (800) 799-7233LGBT Trevor Project Lifeline - 1 (866) 488-7386National Sexual Assault Hotline - 1 (800) 656-4673Crisis Text Line - Text “HOME” to 741741Call 911 for an emergencyThis and other content produced by Justin Sunseri (“JustinLMFT”) (i.e; podcast, YouTube, Instagram, etc.) is not therapy, not intended to be therapy or be a replacement for therapy.  Nothing in this creates or indicates a therapeutic relationship.  Please consult with your therapist or seek for one in your area if you are experiencing mental health symptoms.  Nothing should be construed to be specific life advice; it is for educational and entertainment purposes only.Justin Sunseri is a Licensed Marriage & Family Therapist registered in the State of California (#99147).Don't forget to subscribe to the podcast! When you do, you will immediately get the next episode as soon as it's available. What's better than having the next episode of SNB ready and waiting for you? (Nothing, that's what.)