Do The Thing, with Whole30's Melissa Urban

Hypothangry: Imagining a hypothetical confrontation, then playing out the fight you’d hypothetically have with that person inside your own brain. Fantasy fights are often conducted with loved ones or friends, but can occur with total strangers. (See: “hypothetically angry,” the cousin-once-removed of “rehearsing disaster.”) Today, licensed clinical psychologist and Whole30 Certified Coach Dr. Vickie Bhatia comes back to the podcast to unpack why we create hypothetical situations in our head and then get mad about them in real life. We’ll discuss how relationships, trauma, uncertainty, and judgment factor in; where anger really comes from and whether anger is helpful or harmful; the two most common triggers for hypothangry scenarios; and a plan for identifying, interrupting, and moving on gracefully from this behavior. Continue the conversation with me @melissau on Instagram. If you have a question for Dear Melissa or a topic idea for the show, leave me a voicemail at (321) 209-1480. Do the Thing is part of The Onward Project, a family of podcasts brought together by Gretchen Rubin—all about how to make your life better. Check out the other Onward Project podcasts—Happier with Gretchen Rubin, Side Hustle School, Happier in Hollywood, and Everything Happens with Kate Bowler . If you liked this episode, please subscribe, leave a 5-star review, and tell your friends to Do the Thing!Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

I got a concussion in December 2018. It took me 15 months to recover, and the symptoms still come up to this day when I’m stressed, flying, or in a hot tub. I knew nothing about concussions, and certainly didn’t expect depression, panic attacks, skittering vision, or debilitating exhaustion. By the time I was finally diagnosed, I was terrified, confused, and felt very alone. Some of my earliest reassurance was @mollyparkerpt’s Instagram page. It was a treasure trove of concussion information, and immediately made me realize this was serious, but it was also treatable. Today, Dr. Molly Parker is here to share her expertise on concussions—the symptoms you might expect (and those you might not), finding the practitioner that’s right for you, working your treatment plan and evaluating success, and what to do if you find, like me, that your symptoms aren’t resolving in a few weeks, as they usually do. Continue the conversation with me @melissau on Instagram. If you have a question for Dear Melissa or a topic idea for the show, leave me a voicemail at (321) 209-1480. Do the Thing is part of The Onward Project, a family of podcasts brought together by Gretchen Rubin—all about how to make your life better. Check out the other Onward Project podcasts—Happier with Gretchen Rubin, Side Hustle School, Happier in Hollywood, and Everything Happens with Kate Bowler . If you liked this episode, please subscribe, leave a 5-star review, and tell your friends to Do the Thing!Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

My morning routine is nothing short of sacred, gifting me calm, grounded energy, a happier mood, and improved stress resilience as I move throughout my day. In this episode, I’ll share the history of my mornings, starting twenty years ago fresh out of rehab right up through today, working around parenting and COVID. I’ll detail what, how, and why I do what I do each morning, how to identify pain points in your own mornings, and share a dozen practical tips for crafting your own morning routine, even if you’ve never had one before. (Hint: You DO have one, but it might be running you, instead of you running the routine. Let’s change that.) Continue the conversation with me @melissau on Instagram. If you have a question for Dear Melissa or a topic idea for the show, leave me a voicemail at (321) 209-1480. Do the Thing is part of The Onward Project, a family of podcasts brought together by Gretchen Rubin—all about how to make your life better. Check out the other Onward Project podcasts—Happier with Gretchen Rubin, Side Hustle School, Happier in Hollywood, and Everything Happens with Kate Bowler . If you liked this episode, please subscribe, leave a 5-star review, and tell your friends to Do the Thing!Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Holley M. Kholi-Murchison (she/her) is an entrepreneur committed to shaping the future of work and learning for evolving professionals. She teaches and coaches through her communication studio Oratory Glory, and is a founding partner at HOLI. Brands, a think tank that prepares people from historically-marginalized communities to self-actualize. In this episode, we’ll discuss Holley’s book, Tell Me About Yourself, and why most of us suck at creating accurate and artful responses to this common query. Holley explains the purpose of networking (hint: it’s not transactional), how working through her self-actualization process can pave the way for professional success and more meaningful connections, and how to overcome common stumbling blocks in arriving at your own “what do you do?” response. I’ll also share my own experience of working through the TMAY workbook, and some real-time realizations about the true power of Holley’s method.  Continue the conversation with me @melissau on Instagram. If you have a question for Dear Melissa or a topic idea for the show, leave me a voicemail at (321) 209-1480. Do the Thing is part of The Onward Project, a family of podcasts brought together by Gretchen Rubin—all about how to make your life better. Check out the other Onward Project podcasts—Happier with Gretchen Rubin, Side Hustle School, Happier in Hollywood, and Everything Happens. If you liked this episode, please subscribe, leave a 5-star review, and tell your friends to Do the Thing!Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Scott Carney (he/him) is an investigative journalist, anthropologist, and the author of my cold shower bible, What Doesn’t Kill Us, and his new book, The Wedge. In this episode, Scott explains that, thanks in large part to technology, we’re all a little TOO comfortable, and it’s making us sick, weak, and fragile. By adding sensation variability to his own life (in the form of ice baths and Wim Hof breathing techniques), Scott developed superhuman levels of endurance and quieted a persistent autoimmune illness. Today, he shares how making yourself just the right amount of uncomfortable can reveal how powerful you really are, and delivers big benefits to your self-confidence, strength, health, and stress-resilience.  Continue the conversation with me @melissau on Instagram. If you have a question for Dear Melissa or a topic idea for the show, leave me a voicemail at (321) 209-1480. Do the Thing is part of The Onward Project, a family of podcasts brought together by Gretchen Rubin—all about how to make your life better. Check out the other Onward Project podcasts—Happier with Gretchen Rubin, Side Hustle School, Happier in Hollywood, and Everything Happens. If you liked this episode, please subscribe, leave a 5-star review, and tell your friends to Do the Thing!Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

If you follow me on Instagram, you’ll know I am a voracious hiker. I love inspiring you to get out on your local trails, but I often hear the idea of hiking is intimidating, and you’re not sure where to start. In this episode, my friend and outdoor adventurist Kristen Bor of Bearfoot Theory will walk you through your next hike start to finish, based on the way I plan and prepare for a day on the trail. We’ll cover finding the right trail for your hiking goals, how to dress, how to pack, what to eat, basic safety and trail etiquette, how to handle animals on the trail, and tips for hiking alone. She also shares the basics behind the “leave no trace” principles, to ensure we are all good stewards of the land. Visit whole30.com/podcast for show notes and a full transcript of every episode. You can continue the conversation with me @melissau on Instagram, or by leaving me a voicemail at (321) 209-1480. Do the Thing is part of The Onward Project, a family of podcasts brought together by Gretchen Rubin—all about how to make your life better. Check out the other Onward Project podcasts—Happier with Gretchen Rubin, Side Hustle School, Happier in Hollywood, and Everything Happens. If you liked this episode, please subscribe, leave a 5-star review, and tell your friends to Do the Thing!Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

In this Just Melissa episode, I share all the details of yet another self-experiment with life-changing results—cold showers. When I vowed to take a freezing cold shower every day for 30 days in February 2020, I hoped they would be the missing factor in finally overcoming my health challenges. What I never expected is how much I’d grow to love them, and how much they'd play a major role in my self-care during the pandemic. Today, I’ll dive into the research that led me down this path, what that very first shower looked like, how my cold showers have evolved since then, and the shockingly real benefits I’ve seen. And at the end, I’ll tell you exactly how to structure your own cold shower experiment. Note: Ed Sheeran songs not required... but they help. All sponsorship income from the remainder of Season 2 of Do the Thing will be extended to the Movement for Black Lives. Learn more at m4bl.org.Continue the conversation with me @melissau on Instagram. If you have a question for Dear Melissa or a topic idea for the show, leave me a voicemail at (321) 209-1480. Do the Thing is part of The Onward Project, a family of podcasts brought together by Gretchen Rubin—all about how to make your life better. Check out the other Onward Project podcasts—Happier with Gretchen Rubin, Side Hustle School, Happier in Hollywood, and Everything Happens. If you liked this episode, please subscribe, leave a 5-star review, and tell your friends to Do the Thing!Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

I’ve been on hiatus for several months now, and I’m not exactly tiptoeing back in, #blacklivesmatter. I’m also going to say the word “racist” a lot. If that makes you uncomfortable, this episode is definitely for you. Today, I’m talking to my white listeners about my own anti-racism work, through the lens of the Four Question framework of Byron Katie. The Four Questions have been helping me identify stressful thoughts and move past them into growth and action for more than five years. In this episode, I’ll be applying the Four Questions to my own stories around what it means to be racist. Was it fun? Not exactly. Did it move me past my own shame, guilt, and defensiveness so I can be a better ally out in the world? One hundred percent. Follow along if you are also invested in or just beginning to do your own anti-racism work. All sponsorship income from the remainder of Season 2 of Do the Thing will be extended to the Movement for Black Lives. Learn more at m4bl.org. Continue the conversation with me @melissau on Instagram. If you have a question for Dear Melissa or a topic idea for the show, leave me a voicemail at (321) 209-1480. Do the Thing is part of The Onward Project, a family of podcasts brought together by Gretchen Rubin—all about how to make your life better. Check out the other Onward Project podcasts—Happier with Gretchen Rubin, Side Hustle School, Happier in Hollywood, and Everything Happens. If you liked this episode, please subscribe, leave a 5-star review, and tell your friends to Do the Thing.Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Dr. Nicole LePera (she/her), also known as The Holistic Psychologist, is the founder of the Mindful Healing Center in Philadelphia, and trained in clinical psychology at Cornell University and the New School.  In this episode, Dr. LePera breaks down the various forms of trauma therapy for the body and mind, sharing the practices that have proven the most effective. She’ll cover what trauma is (hint: it’s far more extensive than just the “Big-T” experiences like assault or abuse), how trauma affects our mind/body connection, and the bodywork and therapeutic practices that can best restore that connection. She’ll explain the various forms of trauma therapy and which are most effective, shares some in-the-moment strategies we can all do to calm an over-active nervous system, and leaves us with specific terms to search for when seeking out a trauma therapist. Continue the conversation with me @melissau on Instagram. If you have a question for Dear Melissa or a topic idea for the show, leave me a voicemail at (321) 209-1480. Do the Thing is part of ‘The Onward Project,’ a family of podcasts brought together by Gretchen Rubin—all about how to make your life better. Check out the other Onward Project podcasts—Happier with Gretchen Rubin, Side Hustle School, and Happier in Hollywood. If you liked this episode, please subscribe, leave a 5-star review, and tell your friends to Do the Thing!Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

In this Just Melissa episode, I’m helping you navigate the questions, peer pressure, and social challenges that may arise when you commit to a sober lifestyle, do a Whole30, or take on an “I’m not drinking right now” experiment. I’ll share how to say no gracefully when offered a drink; how to handle questions like “why aren’t you drinking” or statements like “you’re no fun;” and how to respond to peer pressure in a firm but polite way. I also cover how to adjust your social circle, plan events that aren’t centered around alcohol, and navigate dating while sober—and at the end, I’ll provide the ONE mindset shift you’ll need to effectively hold this self-care boundary.   Continue the conversation with me @melissau on Instagram. If you have a question for Dear Melissa or a topic idea for the show, leave me a voicemail at (321) 209-1480. Do the Thing is part of ‘The Onward Project,’ a family of podcasts brought together by Gretchen Rubin—all about how to make your life better. Check out the other Onward Project podcasts—Happier with Gretchen Rubin, Side Hustle School, and Happier in Hollywood. If you liked this episode, please subscribe, leave a 5-star review, and tell your friends to Do the Thing!Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Dr. Michael Ruscio (he/him) is a Northern California-based clinical researcher, functional medicine practitioner, and author of Healthy Gut, Healthy You. He’s also the guy I text when I’m having trouble with MY digestion. In this episode Michael breaks down the what, why, and how-to of gut health—what it means, how it gets messed up in the first place, and what you can do right now to fix it. We’ll cover the unexpected ways issues in the gut can manifest in the body (insomnia, anxiety, thyroid issues, and more); the simple diet hack (beyond Whole30) that could be the key to a healthier gut; and his simple 3-part probiotic regiment to take the guesswork out of supplementation at home. Make sure to review the show notes at whole30.com/podcast for supplement recommendations, shopping lists, and other free resources. Continue the conversation with me @melissau on Instagram. If you have a question for Dear Melissa or a topic idea for the show, leave me a voicemail at (321) 209-1480. Do the Thing is part of ‘The Onward Project,’ a family of podcasts brought together by Gretchen Rubin—all about how to make your life better. Check out the other Onward Project podcasts—Happier with Gretchen Rubin, Side Hustle School, and Happier in Hollywood. If you liked this episode, please subscribe, leave a 5-star review, and tell your friends to Do the Thing!Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Nedra Glover Tawwab (she/her) is a licensed clinical social worker and founder of the North Caroline-based Kaleidoscope Counseling. In this episode, Nedra and I dig deep into the subject of self-sabotage—where despite all our good intentions, we are our own worst enemy. In her trademark no-nonsense style, Nedra goes straight to the root and demystifies these tendencies, sharing where self-sabotage starts, how to spot the trend in your own life, and small shifts you can make right this moment to flip the script and stop getting in your own way. Continue the conversation with me @melissau on Instagram. If you have a question for Dear Melissa or a topic idea for the show, leave me a voicemail at (321) 209-1480. Do the Thing is part of ‘The Onward Project,’ a family of podcasts brought together by Gretchen Rubin—all about how to make your life better. Check out the other Onward Project podcasts—Happier with Gretchen Rubin, Side Hustle School, and Happier in Hollywood. If you liked this episode, please subscribe, leave a 5-star review, and tell your friends to Do the Thing!Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

In this Just Melissa episode, I walk you through a session of The Work (Byron Katie’s approach to questioning stressful thoughts) done with my own therapist after I sustained a concussion in December 2018. My accident left my physically incapable of doing everything that made me “me”—going to the gym, hiking, reading, working, socializing—and brought on a bout of depression and a crisis of self-worth and value. Through this intimate retelling, I’ll show you how I used The Work to question my stressful thoughts around the accident; see exactly where my pain and confusion were coming from; and change my mindset from fear, frustration, and helplessness to acceptance, compassion, and confidence.  Continue the conversation with me @melissau on Instagram. If you have a question for Dear Melissa or a topic idea for the show, leave me a voicemail at (321) 209-1480. Do the Thing is part of ‘The Onward Project,’ a family of podcasts brought together by Gretchen Rubin—all about how to make your life better. Check out the other Onward Project podcasts—Happier with Gretchen Rubin, Side Hustle School, and Happier in Hollywood. If you liked this episode, please subscribe, leave a 5-star review, and tell your friends to Do the Thing!Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

James Clear (he/him) is a writer and speaker focused on habits, decision-making, and continuous improvement, and the author of the international best-selling book, Atomic Habits, which has sold more than 1 million copies worldwide. In this episode, James breaks down the science of habit into practical, actionable steps to help you shift from feeling stuck to doing the thing, whether you’re trying to start something new or break a pattern that isn’t serving you. He’ll explain his two minute habit hack, why “casting votes” is the best way to solidify a new habit, and what friction has to do with behavioral change. We also talk about how to navigate social influence when you’re trying to stick with a new habit, and why systems matter far more than goals. Continue the conversation with me @melissau on Instagram. If you have a question for Dear Melissa or a topic idea for the show, leave me a voicemail at (321) 209-1480. Do the Thing is part of ‘The Onward Project,’ a family of podcasts brought together by Gretchen Rubin—all about how to make your life better. Check out the other Onward Project podcasts—Happier with Gretchen Rubin, Side Hustle School, and Happier in Hollywood. If you liked this episode, please subscribe, leave a 5-star review, and tell your friends to Do the Thing!Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

You’ve probably heard of the Whole30 by now. Maybe you’ve thought about doing one yourself, heard rave reviews from a friend, or read about it in your favorite magazine. Now, you’ll hear for yourself how the Whole30 really can change your life in 30 days, and how to get started with your own Whole30 transformation. In today’s episode, Whole30 co-founder and CEO Melissa Urban explains the program in her own words, including the Whole30’s inception in 2009, and the unexpected life-changing results she experienced. She shares the background of the Whole30 and why it works so well for so many people; the ins-and-outs of what you’ll be eating for 30 days; and busts some common misconceptions about the program. (Spoiler: it’s not about weight loss.) By the end of the episode, you’ll feel inspired and empowered to take the first step, and join the millions of people who have experienced the life-changing benefits of the Whole30. Continue the conversation with me @melissau on Instagram. If you have a question for Dear Melissa or a topic idea for the show, leave me a voicemail at (321) 209-1480. Do the Thing is part of ‘The Onward Project,’ a family of podcasts brought together by Gretchen Rubin—all about how to make your life better. Check out the other Onward Project podcasts—Happier with Gretchen Rubin, Side Hustle School, and Happier in Hollywood. If you liked this episode, please subscribe, leave a 5-star review, and tell your friends to Do the Thing!Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

In this “Dear Melissa” episode, Melissa (she/her) celebrates the release of her new book, The Whole30 Friends and Family, by answering listener questions about talking to friends and family about food in a way that brings you closer together, not further apart. Melissa helps you craft your Whole30 elevator speech, hold your boundaries in social situations, and respond to defensiveness or criticism about your “weird diet” gracefully. She also explains how to navigate dinner invitations while on the Whole30, why having a simple conversation is your greatest Whole30 success strategy, and flips the script on feeling jealous that other people can eat “whatever they want.”Continue the conversation with me @melissau on Instagram. If you have a question for Dear Melissa or a topic idea for the show, leave me a voicemail at (321) 209-1480. Do the Thing is part of ‘The Onward Project,’ a family of podcasts brought together by Gretchen Rubin—all about how to make your life better.  Check out the other Onward Project podcasts, Happier with Gretchen Rubin, Side Hustle School, and Happier in Hollywood. If you liked this episode, please subscribe, leave a 5-star review, and tell your friends to Do the Thing!Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

In this Just Melissa episode, I’m sharing five strategies I’ve used over the years to create a healthy, boundaried, positive relationship with social media. It’s not always easy to feel like your Instagram feed is a happy place. All too often, our engagement on social media makes us feel anxious and less-than; powerless against what pops up in our feed or alerts. If you’re a slave to the ping, can’t stop mindlessly scrolling, get stuck in the comparison trap, or feel like your social media connections are shallow and unfulfilling, this episode will show you how to reclaim your power, curate the feed of your dreams, and transform your time on social media into the nourishing, authentic connections you’ve been seeking.Continue the conversation with me @melissau on Instagram. If you have a question for Dear Melissa or a topic idea for the show, leave me a voicemail at (321) 209-1480. Do the Thing is part of ‘The Onward Project,’ a family of podcasts brought together by Gretchen Rubin—all about how to make your life better.  Check out the other Onward Project podcasts—Happier with Gretchen Rubin, Side Hustle School, and Happier in Hollywood. If you liked this episode, please subscribe, leave a 5-star review, and tell your friends to Do the Thing! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Celeste Noche (she/her) is an editorial and documentary photographer based between Portland, Oregon and San Francisco, CA. Through her photos of food, travel, and portraits, she advocates for diversity and inclusivity, seeking to share stories of underrepresented communities. In this episode, Celeste and I discuss the difference between cultural appropriation and appreciation when it comes to food and recipes. We give examples from her home city of Portland, why working to identify and correct appropriation isn’t just a matter of “political correctness,” and how the centering of western culture through food styling, journalism, and recipe creation is harmful to the very communities we are trying to support through our work. At the end, Celeste shares strategies so that all of us who share food and recipes can be better allies, and better agents of cultural appreciation and exchange. Continue the conversation with me @melissau on Instagram. If you have a question for Dear Melissa or a topic idea for the show, leave me a voicemail at (321) 209-1480. Do the Thing is part of ‘The Onward Project,’ a family of podcasts brought together by Gretchen Rubin—all about how to make your life better.  Check out the other Onward Project podcasts—Happier with Gretchen Rubin, Side Hustle School, and Happier in Hollywood. If you liked this episode, please subscribe, leave a 5-star review, and tell your friends to Do the Thing!Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Jessamyn Stanley is an award-winning yoga instructor, intersectional activist, and author of 'Every Body Yoga.' She broke boundaries for plus size bodies with her February 2019 cover of Yoga Journal, and speaks across the country, advocating for body acceptance, female empowerment, and African American and LGBTQ inclusion. In this episode, we talk about why stillness is undervalued in today's modern world, why yoga is so impactful for releasing stored trauma and pain, and why pigeon pose makes us cry. Jessamyn also shares her own yoga evolution, from the physical to the mental and spiritual, and how her Underbelly app helps all bodies feel welcomed, accepted, and supported in their yoga journey.Continue the conversation with me @melissau on Instagram. If you have a question for Dear Melissa or a topic idea for the show, leave me a voicemail at (321) 209-1480. Do the Thing is part of ‘The Onward Project,’ a family of podcasts brought together by Gretchen Rubin—all about how to make your life better.  Check out the other Onward Project podcasts—Happier with Gretchen Rubin, Side Hustle School, and Happier in Hollywood.If you liked this episode, please subscribe, leave a 5-star review, and tell your friends to Do the Thing!Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

In this Just Melissa episode, I answer one of your most commonly asked questions on Instagram: Why do you call the mountains “church?” I explain my relationship with God/the Universe/Mother Nature; the moment the Utah mountains became my church; and how everyone can find the same kind of connection and guidance in nature, regardless of your spirituality (or lack thereof). Maintaining this theme, I go on to share a story of a recent hike; a 10-miler in the pouring rain. Not so much church, this time—more like me getting into a giant fight with the Universe. (Spoiler, I lost.) In the second half of this episode, I talk about what it feels like to resist the pull/push/shove into growth, and how sometimes, the best thing to do is turn around. Continue the conversation with me @melissa_hartwig on Instagram. If you have a question for Dear Melissa or a topic idea for the show, leave me a voicemail at (321) 209-1480. Do the Thing is part of ‘The Onward Project,’ a family of podcasts brought together by Gretchen Rubin—all about how to make your life better.  Check out the other Onward Project podcasts—Happier with Gretchen Rubin, Side Hustle School, and Happier in Hollywood. If you liked this episode, please subscribe, leave a 5-star review, and tell your friends to Do the Thing!Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices