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The Pleasure Podcast

Author: Naomi Sheldon and Anand Patel

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Writer and actor Naomi Sheldon and sexual function doctor Anand Patel explore the relationship we have with our bodies when it comes to sex, intimacy and pleasure in this new series of interviews with sexologists, DJs, novelists, therapists and more. It's a whole new kind of sex education. For your aural pleasure.

29 Episodes
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It’s the season finale! Our guest sends us off with hope and solidarity. We welcome femme non-binary trans writer and performer Teddy Lamb. I first spotted Teddy roaming around Soho with pink hair, frills, and a prominent, sexy moustache. The combination felt somehow audacious and I’ve been longing to speak to them about gender and identity ever since.  Teddy was using they/them pronouns long before being non-binary was even part of their vocabulary. They describe theirs as a gender rather than a sexuality story. But their pansexuality and description of the joy of T for T sex leaves us marvelling at how much there is to learn from the trans community when it comes to consent and empathy in sex. This interview was recorded the day after Liz Truss, the Minister for women and equalities, announced her plans to prioritise single-sex spaces, protect children from irreversible decisions about gender and potentially rename the ministry, the ministry of freedom. Teddy explains why this these speeches are so damaging and how in the UK, while the most likely to be vulnerable, trans people have little support. With no legal recognition for being non-binary, a 2-3 year wait for surgery, speech therapy, and counselling trans people are dying as they wait. Teddy describes the physical response to being misgendered, of finding gender euphoria, and why they are only sleeping with trans people for now. We look at the radical power of trans body hair, and how much there is to learn from the young members of the LGBTQ+ community. Their show Since You’ve Been Gone, a glorious autobiographical account of growing up queer in the 90s and of finding yourself whilst dealing with loss, was an Edinburgh hit. Pleasure Podcast listeners can watch the show until the 24th May using the password PleasureTeddy here: https://vimeo.com/419525480 * If you have been affected by any of the issues discussed please take a look at the following: Petition against Liz Truss’s words: http://chng.it/nYdKs6qZ7q Gendered intelligence: http://genderedintelligence.co.uk/ Find out more about Teddy at teddylamb.com CW: assault and transphobia. * We would love to hear from you: email us at hello@thepleasurepodcast.com or tweet us @ThePleasurePod. Please do rate, review, and share the podcast, it helps other people find us! * Social Media: Teddy Lamb: @TheTeddyLamb Naomi Sheldon: @NaomiSheldon1 Anand Patel: @therealdranand Follow us at @ThePleasurePod and visit us at www.thepleasurepodcast.com See you soon for a sparkling season 4 and in the meantime, stay safe - it has truly been our pleasure.  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
Today we welcome Alex Cowan, a leading disability activist, performer and writer challenging the sexual erasure of differently abled people around the world. Alex has been a real pioneer, In 2014 she appeared in Alternative Miss World - their first contestant in a wheelchair, and appeared on Channel 4 discussing her relationship with her husband. She was the first disabled person to attend the world-renowned European Society of Sexual Medicine Summer school and has worked with Alistair Morrison, photographer to Hollywood royalty, reinterpreting the iconic Christine Keeler photos replacing the Arne Jacobsen chair with her wheelchair.  Alex developed Multiple Sclerosis in her late teens and documents her journey (with the man that eventually became her boyfriend and now husband) as the effects of illness changed and challenged her body, her self-view and her relationships. Alex describes what that has meant for her ability to physically navigate sex when disability meets ageing. We talk about the frustration of friends presuming she’s celibate as if disability changed who she was as a person and shares how a really low point triggered the need to shock herself out of her despair - and so she jumped out of a plane!  We discuss the importance of sex workers in helping provide intimacy and physical contact when the dating scene can be significantly more challenging to negotiate, let alone finding suitable accessible spaces for disabled people to meet. Read her writing for Good Housekeeping and see more of those Alistair Morrison photographs here: https://100stories.leonardcheshire.org/changing-perceptions/ Thank you to Alex for this inspiring conversation that reminds us again to see the person rather than the disability and providing practical tips on how to keep a sexual relationship going with a differently abled body. Just a little note that Naomi had to pop out for the last part of the interview, in case you’re wondering why she goes quiet later on! Alex kindly supplied the following list of super-helpful books and links (on GoogleDrive for convenience!): https://tinyurl.com/yaye8xq5 We would love to continue the conversation and hear from you: email us at hello@thepleasurepodcast.com or tweet us @ThePleasurePod. Please do rate, review, and share the podcast, it helps other people find us! * Social Media: Naomi Sheldon: @NaomiSheldon1 Anand Patel: @therealdranand Follow us at @ThePleasurePod and visit us at www.thepleasurepodcast.com  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
Hello! Today we welcome award-winning actor and writer Charlotte Josephine onto The Pleasure Podcast.  I’m delighted to introduce our listeners to Charlie, they are one of my personal heroes having given me the strength and permission to write when I was just setting out and they were already on the way to prolific playwrighting. They swept onto the theatre scene with solo show Bitch Boxer which won the Soho Theatre Writers award and is now being adapted for film. The host of plays which followed have received awards, huge praise and sell out houses. They recently played a queer Mercutio for the RSC’s Romeo and Juliet – a role which became significant for them both on and off stage. Charlie started to identify as non-binary two years ago after having felt they’d failed at womanhood the whole of their lives. They join us to talk about shedding the label of she and the therapy and self-interrogation that got them there. We discuss the rules that come with being assigned female at birth and how writing has helped them to be comfortable in their own skin. Charlie has been sober and in food recovery for years. They describe how sobriety has allowed them to enter a sexual revolution and what queer sex can teach us all about good sex. And it’s a lot. We look at the ripple effect that bad and good sex can have in the wider world and why representation of queer people is so important. Thank you Charlie for your honest, present and playful words that will help so many other people in finding out who they are. Flies is being made with @boundlessabound and Birds And Bees with @TCLive which can be found HERE * We would love to continue the conversation and hear from you: email us at hello@thepleasurepodcast.com or tweet us @ThePleasurePod. Please do rate, review, and share the podcast, it helps other people find us! * Social Media: Charlotte Josephone: @charlotte_j_b Naomi Sheldon: @NaomiSheldon1 Anand Patel: @therealdranand Follow us at @ThePleasurePod and visit us at www.thepleasurepodcast.com  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
Today we welcome journalist, author and feminist trailblazer Marisa Bate. Marisa was one of the founding members of The Pool and writes extensively about domestic violence. Issues that affect women’s lives are at the forefront of her writing, whether that be in Grazia, The Guardian, The Independent, Cosmopolitan – the list goes on. Her journalism is prolific, smart, hard hitting and very, very moving.  Anytime that families are together for long periods without normal routine, domestic abuse goes up…throw in alcohol, stress, it’s no wonder that during lockdown the phone lines for Refuge and Women’s Aid have been so busy. We talk to Marisa about how domestic abuse is being spoken about more widely than ever before. The Archers Big Little Lies, and now Rhianna are discussing what used to be a very private, shameful occurrence. We explore what economic abuse is, how reproductive coercion can go undetected and why a culture of fancying the bad boy can be so damaging. We hear the ways in which countries around the world are trying to support and protect victims of sexual abuse. From code words in grocery stores in France to alcohol bans in Greenland. And Marisa advises us on what to do if you recognise abusive behaviour during lockdown and beyond. And why, if you hear anything worrying next door, you should always call the police. CW: Domestic violence, abuse Marisa’s brilliant book The Periodic Table of Feminism is an essential guide to the feminist movement and the often-unsung international figures who’ve shaped it. It was published by Penguin and is available from all good bookstores. More of her work on domestic violence can be found in Vogue.co.uk. She has covered economic abuse for the Guardian, Woman's Hour, The i Paper and how abusers manipulate the Child Maintenance Service. She recently wrote about lack of support for children who witnessed Domestic Violence and now live with the consequences. https://inews.co.uk/opinion/i-had-to-grow-up-so-quick-how-witnessing-domestic-abuse-as-a-child-affected-me-as-an-adult-1342276 And here is her article on reproductive coercion * We would love to continue the conversation and hear from you: email us at hello@thepleasurepodcast.com or tweet us @ThePleasurePod. Please do rate, review, and share the podcast, it helps other people find us! * Social Media: Marisa Bate: @Marisajbate Naomi Sheldon: @NaomiSheldon1 Anand Patel: @therealdranand Follow us at @ThePleasurePod and visit us at www.thepleasurepodcast.com * If you or anyone you know have been affected by the issues in this episode please seek help using the following resources. Refuge - https://www.refuge.org.uk/ Women’s Aid - https://www.womensaid.org.uk/ Men’s Advice Line - https://mensadviceline.org.uk/ Galop (LGBT Domestic Violence Helpline) - https://www.galop.org.uk/domesticabuse/ The Freedom Programme - For Men and Women - https://www.freedomprogramme.co.uk/ Tender - https://tender.org.uk/ MIND - www.mind.org.uk Childline - 0800 1111 https://www.childline.org.uk/ Young Minds - www.youngminds.org.uk Age UK - https://www.ageuk.org.uk/ Mind Out (LGBTQ+) – https://www.mindout.org.uk/  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
In this episode we welcome a multi-talented actor, writer, and regular co-host of The Guilty Feminist, she’s genuine, warm, and ferociously loyal to her friends, she’s one of my favourite people, it’s stage and screen’s Susan Wokoma. Suzie was named one of Forbes 30 under 30 in 2017 and a BAFTA breakthrough brit in the same year. Her breakthrough role as Cynthia in Chewing Gum firmly put her on the map as one the UK’s most brilliant comedy actors and she continues to bring huge depth and generosity to all of her roles. You can see her right now in All4’s Year of the Rabbit and in Truth Seekers, a new Amazon Prime series out later this year. Suzie opens up about a long-term relationship she had with a partner who she has since identified as a narcissist. In the interests of anonymity, they are never named. None of us are psychotherapists in this ep, but we have all encountered narcissists on various ends of the spectrum. We discuss how gaslighting and other narcissist techniques of manipulation and control can throw your sense of reality out of orbit and erode your all-important gut instinct. We look at how to identify a narcissist and what to do if your friends or you suspect you’re in a relationship with one. She throws light on the intersectionality of what a victim is and isn’t allowed to look like in society and how this might particularly prevent black women being taken seriously when it comes to abusive relationships. Suzie is incredibly brave and eloquent in this interview and she hopes that if even one person if helped by her sharing her experiences, then it’s a job well done. And we agree. Oh, and always beware when someone tells you their ex-girlfriend crazy. It may just be a red flag. * Suzie’s short film for Sky about her mother’s obsession with, and grief at Princess Diana’s death, Love the Sinner is at once both hilarious and moving. You can watch it HERE. Suzie was also part of the writer’s room for the second series of Sex Education.  * We would love to continue the conversation and hear from you: email us at hello@thepleasurepodcast.com or tweet us @ThePleasurePod. Please do rate, review, and share the podcast, it helps other people find us! * Social Media: Susan Wokoma: @susan_wokoma Naomi Sheldon: @NaomiSheldon1 Anand Patel: @therealdranand Follow us at @ThePleasurePod and visit us at www.thepleasurepodcast.com * If you or anyone you know has experienced an abusive relationship, please look at the following resources: https://www.cosrt.org.uk Relationship and sexual function therapists MIND - www.mind.org.uk Childline - 0800 1111 https://www.childline.org.uk/ Young Minds - www.youngminds.org.uk Age UK - https://www.ageuk.org.uk/ Mind Out (LGBTQ+) – https://www.mindout.org.uk/ Anxiety UK - https://www.anxietyuk.org.uk/ Depression Alliance - https://www.depressionalliance.org/ Emotional Abuse and Domestic Violence Women’s Aid - https://www.womensaid.org.uk/ Men’s Advice Line - https://mensadviceline.org.uk/ Galop (LGBT Domestic Violence Helpline) - https://www.galop.org.uk/domesticabuse/ The Freedom Programme – For Men and Women - https://www.freedomprogramme.co.uk/ Respect - For Men - http://respect.uk.net/    See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
It's an emergency isolation episode! We welcome clinical psychologist and psychosexologist Dr Karen Gurney. Karen joins us in these extraordinary times to talk about sex, pleasure and relationships during this pandemic. How we can manage our anxiety and maintain our intimacy whilst distancing ourselves from others. This is a practical conversation with lots of tips and tricks for us all, whatever our sexuality or gender, whether living on our own, apart from our loved ones, in couples, in house shares or back home with less than supportive families. Karen is lead psychosexual therapist for 56 Dean Street (NHS) and director of The Havelock Clinic, an independent sexual problems clinic based in London. She teaches nationally and has written for and featured in Marie Claire, Cosmopolitan and Refinery29 and completed her first TEDx talk in Feb 2020. She is also the UK ambassador for www.thepornconversation.org - a not-for-profit initiative set up by Erika Lust designed to help parents and carers talk to young people about porn use. Karen’s book ‘Mind the Gap: The Truth About Desire And How To Futureproof Your Sex Life’ by Headline Home was launched in March 2020 and is available from Amazon, Waterstones and independent bookstores. Karen has kindly shared the following free resources for you to use: https://havelockonlineworkshops.teachable.com/p/how-to-harness-the-power-of-your-brain-to-improve-your-sex-life You can find the ‘Understanding your conditions for good sex’ exercise at: https://thehavelockclinic.com/resources/  * We would love to continue the conversation and hear from you: email us at hello@thepleasurepodcast.com or tweet us @ThePleasurePod. Please do rate, review, and share the podcast, we hear it helps other people find us! * Social Media: Dr Karen Gurney: @karengurney5 on Twitter and @thesexdoctor on Instagram Naomi Sheldon: @NaomiSheldon1 Anand Patel: @therealdranand Follow us at @ThePleasurePod and visit us at www.thepleasurepodcast.com This episode is sponsored YES, The Organic Intimacy Experts * If you or someone you know has been affected by mental health issues or domestic violence at this difficult time, please consider the following charities: Mental Health Every Mind Matters https://www.nhs.uk/oneyou/every-mind-matters/ Mental Health Foundation https://www.mentalhealth.org.uk/ Shout - Free text message support https://www.giveusashout.org/ Samaritans - 116123 www.samaritans.org Rethink - https://www.rethink.org/ MIND - www.mind.org.uk Domestic Violence Women’s Aid - https://www.womensaid.org.uk/ Men’s Advice Line - https://mensadviceline.org.uk/ Galop (LGBT Domestic Violence Helpline) - https://www.galop.org.uk/domesticabuse/ The Freedom Programme – For Men and Women - https://www.freedomprogramme.co.uk/ Respect - For Men - http://respect.uk.net/    See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
In this episode of The Pleasure Podcast we welcome Leïla Slimani. She was the first Moroccan woman to win France’s most prestigious literary prize, the Prix Goncourt, which she won for Lullaby. A journalist and frequent commentator on women’s and human rights, she is French president Emmanuel Macron’s personal representative for the promotion of the French language and culture.  We speak to Leila about her collection of essays Sex and Lies which examine the sex lives of women in Morocco.  In these essays Slimani gives voice to young Moroccan women grappling with a conservative culture that at once condemns and commodifies sex. In a country where the law punishes and outlaws all forms of sex outside marriage, as well as homosexuality and prostitution, women have only two options for their sexual identities: virgin or wife.  We discuss what it was like growing up in a liberal family within a deeply conservative society. Misconceptions about sex and sexism in Islam. And whether we can ever know who we are when our country has been colonised. She asks if it’s possible for the people of Morocco to rediscover their own culture away from the impact of colonialism and if so, whether that would be a more tender, affectionate, and honest way to live. Sex and Lies confronts Morocco's hypocrisy of sexual values and is a vibrant appeal for the universal freedom to be, to love and to desire. Sex and Lies is published by Faber and Faber and is available HERE * We would love to continue the conversation and hear from you: email us at hello@thepleasurepodcast.com or tweet us @ThePleasurePod. Please do rate, review, and share the podcast, we hear it helps other people find us! * Social Media: Naomi Sheldon: @NaomiSheldon1 Anand Patel: @therealdranand Follow us at @ThePleasurePod and visit us at www.thepleasurepodcast.com    See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
This week of The Pleasure Podcast we welcome the award-winning comedian, actor and writer Richard Gadd. In 2016 he won the esteemed Edinburgh comedy award, with Monkey See Monkey Do, a raw, personal account about his sexual assault. It was a performance which pushed the boundaries of comedy and which felt monumentally cathartic for its win. In 2019 his first solo theatre show Baby Reindeer was the talk of Edinburgh. In it he relives his experience of being stalked by a woman with a dangerous obsession with him, about wrestling with his sexuality, and trying to come to terms with his assault. We speak about the effects of growing up in an uber masculine world where you thank God you’re not gay, and sex ed was devoid of condoms. He speaks about the sexual abuse and grooming which threw his relationship with sex out of orbit. And of the erectile dysfunction that followed which destroyed relationships and his confidence. The dissociation that followed felt at odds with his happy teenage years and the cost was his loss of the ability to be vulnerable and intimate throughout this period of deep pain. Richard tells us how he has been able to approach sex and intimacy again. And how his deeply personal shows have been part of that healing process. He describes what drives a person to make a show about their trauma and what the effect is when you thought it might ruin you but in fact launched you into a whole new dazzling chapter of your career. The emotional and psychological honesty of Richard’s work is astonishing. How he tackles the source of his trauma and his evolving understanding of his own masculinity is truly breath taking. CW: There are some subjects which we cover that listeners might find disturbing: Sexual Abuse, Stalking. Follow Richard on social media @MrRichardGadd for more information on his shows and upcoming dates. * We would love to continue the conversation and hear from you: email us at hello@thepleasurepodcast.com or tweet us @ThePleasurePod. Please do rate, review, and share the podcast, we hear it helps other people find us! * Social Media: Naomi Sheldon: @NaomiSheldon1 Anand Patel: @therealdranand Richard Gadd: @MrRichardGadd Follow us at @ThePleasurePod and visit us at www.thepleasurepodcast.com  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
Welcome to episode 2 of The Pleasure Podcast. This week we speak to multi-award winning, plus size style blogger, journalist, and author Stephanie Yeboah. This year she was the cover girl on Glamour’s self-love issue. And on Instagram she is making waves celebrating the bodies of plus size, black women. Her sexy, witty, and insightful posts redefine accepted beauty standards and challenge the co-option of body positivity by socially acceptable white bodies. Stephanie has experienced racism and fat-phobia from a young age, from being bullied at school to being fetishized and objectified in her romantic life. The way she flies in the face of these discriminations by creating a positive space for change is awe inspiring. Her Instagram page is testament to this. Check out her beautiful pictures HERE Stephanie speaks to us about navigating life and dating as a black, plus-sized woman and how she and others can manage to find self-acceptance when judgement and discrimination are still so rife. Stephanie’s book Fattily Ever After: The Black Girl’s Guide To Living Unapologetically will be published by Hardie Grant Books on the 3rd of September. It’s a love letter to plus size black women. You can pre-order a copy on her website stephanieyeboah.com. CW: There are some subjects which we cover that listeners might find disturbing: Racism, Sexual Abuse, Violence. * We would love to continue the conversation and hear from you: email us at hello@thepleasurepodcast.com or tweet us @ThePleasurePod. Please do rate, review, and share the podcast, we hear it helps other people find us! * Social Media: Naomi Sheldon: @NaomiSheldon1 Anand Patel: @therealdranand Stephanie Yeboah: @StephanieYeboah Follow us at @ThePleasurePod and visit us at www.thepleasurepodcast.com  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
We're baaaaack! Welcome to Season 3 of The Pleasure Podcast. We're kicking off with a woman who needs little introduction. I think it's fair to say she is the nation's sweetheart. And not just because she speaks openly about bonking Jeff Goldblum with a piece of toast stuck to her bum (onscreen). Some of you may have grown up with her in Nanny Mcphee, had your hearts broken by her in THAT SCENE in Love Actually, or fell in love with her in Sense and Sensibility, Howards End, Last Christmas, or.... the list goes on. Alongside her screen acting she is known for her outspokeness, her activism, and being a general all round excellent egg. She's the only person to have won Academy Awards for both acting and writing, it's DAME EMMA THOMPSON! We spoke to Emma about how to come back to our instincts when it comes to erotica and pleasure, the sex handbook she made her daughter, why it's important never to shame your sister if you catch her wanking, and the resistance against being squashed into shapes that society wants you to be. Her take on the subtle yet ferocious power of hormones quietly blew our minds. Emma's astute ability to understand human behaviour is astonishing, and at times she becomes our therapist fit to rival Esther Perel. We hope this conversation inspires you, gets your brain box buzzing, and helps you (just a little) to come back to what pleasure means to you. * We would love to continue the conversation and hear from you: email us at hello@thepleasurepodcast.com or tweet us @ThePleasurePod. Please do rate, review, and share the podcast, we hear it helps other people find us! * Social Media: Naomi Sheldon: @NaomiSheldon1 Anand Patel: @therealdranand Follow us at @ThePleasurePod and visit us at www.thepleasurepodcast.com  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
It’s the SEASON 2 FINALE people! Not only has it zipped by, but we added on TWO MORE EPISODES from season 1 for your pleasure. Don’t say we don’t treat you well. And are we finishing this round with a bang or what?! (we are, yes) We have an extraordinary, golden guest for you to see us out. Welcome Rain Dove Dubilewski. You’ll likely know them better by face than by voice, but that’s soon to change… Rain Dove was the first model EVER to be in both male and female magazine covers at the same time and have been using their hefty social media platform (350K+ followers on IG) to defy gender norms and raise awareness about social issues including women’s rights and mental health. Rain is an open-minded, self-aware, funny interviewee who is open and giving with their unusual, moving life story and their hopes for society. You’re going to get a lot out of it. PROMISE.  Rain joins us to talk about the impact of growing up whilst fitting into the aesthetic expected from women despite the F on their birth certificate. It wasn’t until working as a firefighter in an all-male team who thought Rain was a man, that they realised they were able to present both as male and as female. Living as a man during this time allowed them a sneak peek into what they thought would be a bed of toxic masculinity. What they learnt there would change how they understood the power dynamics at play when it comes to the currency of emotion.  You ought to know that when Rain is presenting as either male or female or simply themselves, they are absolutely drop dead gorgeous.  We talk about the benefits and drawbacks of presenting as either gender, and what being a ‘a Gender Capitalist’ really means. Rain tells us about their often harrowing experiences of using male and female bathrooms and why unisex toilets are in fact the safest loo option for everyone. What struck me most about her story is how despite having Trump supporting parents and leaving home at 18 to save face for the family after coming out, they believe in empathy with the people who most ostracise them. Their message of acceptance and kindness is paramount and is quite frankly, inspirational.  Rain is making a mockumentary series Queers Without Fears developed entirely by the queer community. It’s a fun sci-fi venture which seeks to readdress the balance of highly sexed and violent portrayals of queer folk that presides in film and TV and it’s out in December!  They are also releasing a mockumentary in response to Piers Morgan’s insistence that if you can choose your pronoun, then he chooses to identify as a penguin. It’s going to be very funny but with an undoubtedly important message about love and kindness at its heart. Enjoy and we’ll see you next year with more terrific guests and topics on pleasure and the body for Series 3.  You can watch Rain’s TedX talk on Gender Capitalism here CW: misgendering and violence We would love to continue the conversation and hear from you, our listeners: email us at hello@thepleasurepodcast.com or tweet us @ThePleasurePod.  * Social Media: Rain Dove @raindovemodel Naomi Sheldon: @NaomiSheldon1 Anand Patel: @therealdranand Follow us at @ThePleasurePod and visit us at www.thepleasurepodcast.com  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
In this week’s episode of the Pleasure Podcast we talk to writer and illustrator Flo Perry. Flo’s work on Buzzfeed is always a viral sensation, and she has just published the wonderful How To Have Feminist Sex – A Fairly Graphic Guide. Flo is on a mission to improve our sex lives. Her graphic novel is a manual on how to have the sex you want whilst navigating the niggles and neuroses we've built up over a lifetime when it comes to getting down and dirty. This joyful and sexy book is filled with Flo’s gorgeously drawn humans that don’t just decorate the pages, they populate her world. Flo’s illustrations grace a variety of books including The Girl's Guide To Growing Up Great, written by Sophie Elkan and Remember This When You're Sad by Maggy Van Eijk. Flo is also one of the founders of Aphrodyki, an incredible (and always sold out) queer club night! Find her on the door… Flo proudly reclaims the word slut and we talk dating apps, sending nudes and ghosting. We learn her top tips for one night stands and how to end a date without causing offence, even if it’s five minutes after you’ve sat down. We even answer the big questions - how to learn what turns you on and the unexpected side effects of chlamydia meds. We discuss body image, the bisexual experience and the gap in the market for a modern day Samantha Jones. Where are our slutty heroines? You can buy Flo’s How To Have Feminist Sex – A Fairly Graphic Guide, published by Particular Books from Waterstones, Amazon and all good bookstores Flo’s lovely photograph is by Hannah Eachus.  We would love to continue the conversation and hear from you, our listeners: email us at hello@thepleasurepodcast.com or tweet us @ThePleasurePod.  * Social Media: Flo Perry: @FloPerry Naomi Sheldon: @NaomiSheldon1 Anand Patel: @therealdranand Follow us at @ThePleasurePod and visit us at www.thepleasurepodcast.com  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
This week on The Pleasure Podcast we welcome a woman who has heard it all. It’s Multi award-winning writer, broadcaster and sex educator Alix Fox. Alix co-hosts BBC Radio 1 show Unexpected Fluids, in which comedic ‘real life tales of sexual fails’ are used as a springboard for frank, constructive conversations. Over on Netflix, she’s a script consultant for hit series Sex Education, whilst on The Modern Mann podcast with Olly Mann, she’s fronted her own X-rated agony aunt segment for almost half a decade, answering listeners’ most intimate queries in ‘The Foxhole’. A proud ambassador for both Brook young people’s sexual wellbeing charity and menstruation education foundation Bloody Good Period, Alix was a face of HIV Testing Week, and is scheduled to reappear as a fetish and pleasure expert on Channel 4’s The Sex Clinic. Resident Sexual Wellness Expert for Superdrug, and brand ambassador for Tenga and Womanizer masturbation toys (she wouldn’t put her name to anything she wouldn’t happily, fappily put her genitals on!), she’s currently working on an audio documentary series about the history of kink for Audible. A former editor on alternative culture mag Bizarre, her writing can be found in publications including The Guardian, Stylist, Grazia, Glamour, Fabulous, Cosmo, Vogue, Time Out and more, and she’s made videos and shows for folks including Bodyform, EllaOne and Durex. She’s a judge on Lovehoney’s 2020 Design A Sex Toy Competition. I can’t think of anyone I’d rather confide in about my sexual concerns. We speak to Alix about the experience of being an X-rated agony aunt, including what questions she commonly gets asked, issues of transference, and the pressure to be at forefront of sexual practice in your private life when you’re a Sexpert. She guides us through an extraordinary array of sex toys, and gives us golden advice on how to keep sex in long term relationships fresh. Micro-dating anyone? We are all in. Alix’s open-hearted, open-minded approach leaves us feeling that we could talk about anything that’s on our minds about sex and intimacy. We would love to continue the conversation and hear from you, our listeners: email us at hello@thepleasurepodcast.com or tweet us @ThePleasurePod.  * Social Media: Alix Fox @AlixFox Naomi Sheldon @NaomiSheldon1 Anand Patel @therealdranand Follow us at @ThePleasurePod and visit us at www.thepleasurepodcast.com  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
This week on The Pleasure Podcast we welcome radio producer, presenter, and writer Amrit Matharu. She's currently working for the Asian Network, and has contributed to Radio London, Radio Northampton, and BBC Stories to name but a few. Amrit published her dissertation "Desi and Desire" focusing on British-Asian female identity and has become well known for discussing taboo topics such as sexuality, a subject rarely talked about amongst the South Asian community. She’s passionate about promoting body confidence and works as both a body positive activist and plus size model. We talk to Amrit about her Sikh background, Asian family dynamics, and how her parent’s values have impacted on her own relationship to romance and sex. She brings a fascinating insight into how a typical Asian upbringing which focuses on virginity, can leave you without the skills to manage dating and relationships, whilst the family pressure to get married ramps up. Asian Tinder and temple matrimonial lists provide one solution to prospective couples, but the beauty standards in this game of top trumps based on height, hair texture, weight and skin colour can create a narrow dating field. Amrit is a firm believer in being part of the ‘generation of change’ where although she recognises and understands her parents’ beliefs and the affect it has had on her, she would not impose those views on her children. It’s an interview full of the cognitive dissonance that surrounds tradition and modern living that gets to the core of our need for tribes and belonging. You can follow Amrit’s life and thoughts on her blog Amaretto’s World and find links to her dissertation Desi and Desire here. We would love to continue the conversation and hear from you, our listeners: email us at hello@thepleasurepodcast.com or tweet us @ThePleasurePod.   Social Media: Amrit Matharu @AmarettosWorld Naomi Sheldon @NaomiSheldon1 Anand Patel @therealdranand Follow us at @ThePleasurePod and visit us at www.thepleasurepodcast.com  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
This week on the Pleasure Podcast we welcome an expert in all things historically sexual. It’s the incredible award-winning historian, lecturer, and author Dr Kate Lister. However you might know her best as the mind behind Twitter’s very own behemoth Whores of Yore. Kate is a lecturer and researcher in the literary history of sex work at Leeds Trinity University and she regularly writes for inews, Vice, and the Wellcome Trust. Kate has also graced our screens, most notably giving historical context to our sexual desires in Channel 5s My Secret Sex Fantasy (which is where we first met!). The research behind Whores of Yore, a wildly popular historical archive of sexuality and sex work, has culminated in Kate’s book, ‘A Curious History of Sex’. This whistle stop tour through sexual history covers immense ground including the etymology of cunt, the control of women’s desire, the history of same sex relationships, pubic hair, monkey testicle transplants, sex robots and incredibly much much more.  Kate’s book is available for pre-order from Unbound, Waterstones and Amazon and will be published in February 2020. Pre-order sales support Basis Sex Work Project in Leeds. We speak to Kate about this erudite, funny and at times very shocking book – it’s a broad and genre defying conversation running the gamut from Ancient Greece to The Rock via Noel Edmonds House Party. It’s the naughty history lesson we didn’t receive in school, but wish we had. We would love to continue the conversation and hear from you, our listeners: email us at hello@thepleasurepodcast.com or tweet us @ThePleasurePod.   Social Media: Kate Lister: @WhoresOfYore and @literaturepeep Naomi Sheldon @NaomiSheldon1 Anand Patel @therealdranand Follow us at @ThePleasurePod and visit us at www.thepleasurepodcast.com  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
This week we welcome Jen Brister to The Pleasure Podcast. She’s a critically acclaimed stand up comedian, actor and author of the frank and funny book The Other Mother. She’s regularly been on our radios, toured six solo shows around the world and graced our screens on Live at the Apollo, Live at the comedy store and Frankie Boyle’s New World Order. Later this year she’ll star in the Sara Pascoe series ‘Comedy Lectures’ and ‘Hypothetical’, and she’ll be touring her hilarious show Under Privilege around the UK in 2020. I saw it at the Edinburgh Fringe this year and she blew my woollen socks off. We speak to Jen about her first book ‘The Other Mother’, an honest, funny memoir in which she describes her experience of being a gay non-biological ‘other mother’ to her twin boys. Jen speaks to us about what happens when the reality of your sexuality comes face to face with your childhood dreams of parenthood, about gay visibility within the entertainment industry, kissing in public, the financial and emotional cost of IVF and the division of labour when raising two babies in a same sex relationship. Jen is one of my favourite comedians and she makes us laugh a lot whilst tackling issues that are pertinent to everyone, no matter what sort of family you have.           You can get your copy of The Other Mother published by Square Peg now at all good book stores. Her latest show Under Privilege will be touring the UK in 2020. It explores the meaning of privilege and what it’s like as a lesbian to raise two young boys whilst putting two fingers up at the patriarchy. Dates and tickets are available through her website jenbrister.co.uk. Could can buy Jen’s book The Other Mother HERE, and find the dates for the UK tour of Under Privilege HERE.  * As usual, we would love to hear from you and continue the conversation. Email us at hello@thepleasurepodcast.com or tweet us @ThePleasurePod. * Social Media: Naomi Sheldon: @NaomiSheldon1 Anand Patel: @therealdranand Jen Brister: @JenBrister Follow us at: @ThePleasurePod and visit us at www.thepleasurepodcast.com          See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
This we speak to consultant breast cancer surgeon, author, TEDx Speaker, triathlete, and nominee for Woman of the Year 2016 Liz O’Riordan. Liz was diagnosed with stage 3 breast cancer in 2015 and had a recurrence in 2018. She went viral when she dressed as Elastagirl from the Incredibles for the last day of her radiotherapy. Liz uses her unique perspective of being both surgeon and patient to write her award-winning blog about living with breast cancer and more recently a book: The Complete Guide to Breast Cancer. She writes to empower cancer patients, separating fact from fiction. We speak to Liz about her experience of surgeon turned patient and the lack of information breast cancer patients are provided with when it comes to sex and intimacy after diagnosis. Her story of redefining her sense of feminity when the treatment removed a breast and plunged her into sudden early menopause is powerful and eye-opening. We felt very honored to have Liz with us to speak on a subject we hear so little about. You can read Liz’s blog and watch her TEDx talk here: liz.oriordan.co.uk Buy her book The Complete Guide to Breast Cancer: How to feel empowered and take control published by Vermilion from @hivestores HERE , or HERE @wordery or from Amazon HERE Liz's TEDx talk Jar of Joy can be found HERE Her top twitter sex gurus are Jo Divine and @SamTalksSex  * As usual, we would love to hear from you and continue the conversation. Email us at hello@thepleasurepodcast.com or tweet us @ThePleasurePod. * Social Media: Naomi Sheldon: @NaomiSheldon1 Anand Patel: @therealdranand Follow us at: @ThePleasurePod and visit us at www.thepleasurepodcast.com  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
In this week’s episode of The Pleasure Podcast we have a rare interview with Wild Iris - sex worker and Queer woman of colour. Her name and voice have been altered to protect her anonymity. Wild Iris speaks eloquently and openly about her experiences of having sex with men in order to fund her true passions in life. Iris shares how her autism, negotiating the social interactions and office politics, meant keeping a ‘regular’ job was virtually impossible and how that led her to consider sex work. We discuss the various forms of sex work and her views on ‘sugaring’. Wild Iris reveals how the majority of her time is devoted to administration rather than sex: the business of hotel bookings and websites. Iris talks openly about the groups of men she works with, the services she provides and what it’s taught her about men. Fascinatingly she reveals how her sexuality intersects with the work she does and how her skin colour makes men view her, in the world vs in a private sexual space. Iris talks movingly about loneliness and otherness, the isolation of sex work; and sadly, why relationships with health care and particularly the Police are a source of threat and violence to sex workers, how the current law continues to make sex workers remain at risk. Read Wild Iris's Gal Dem article on loneliness and sex work here. Whilst she prefers to stay away from social media, if you would like to contact her directly, Wild Iris has given permission for her email address to be shared: wild.iris.366@gmail.com. If you're affected by any of the issues raised in this episode or interested in learning more about keeping sex workers safe, please check out the links: The Sex Worker Advocacy and Resistance Movement (SWARM): https://www.swarmcollective.org National Ugly Mugs: https://uknswp.org/ https://decrimnow.org.uk * CW: This episode has mentions of rape and sexual violence. * As usual, we would love to hear from you and continue the conversation. Email us at hello@thepleasurepodcast.com or tweet us @ThePleasurePod. * Social Media: Naomi Sheldon: @NaomiSheldon1 Anand Patel: @therealdranand Follow us at: @ThePleasurePod and visit us at www.thepleasurepodcast.com  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
In this episode of The Pleasure Podcast we welcome the talented multi-hyphenate Jason Domino: activist, porn performer, sex worker, and head of the sexual health think-tank: The Domino Foundation.  Jason was raised as a committed Christian and tried to change his sexuality as a teen using aversion therapy and conversion camps. He shares with us how he started in sex work and porn and how a health scare following a porn shoot opened his eyes to the need for sex education, particularly around HIV prevention. This led to the creation of Porn4Prep, a groundbreaking film combining sex and HIV education featuring porn performers and health care professionals. We talk about the rules for negotiating open relationships and how Jason separates sex with a client from sex with a partner.  Jason discusses the problems with the current sex work laws and advocates the full decriminalisation as the method that would most reduce harm and stigma to sex workers.  Jason’s activism in sex work and HIV prevention has taken him all the way to the United Nations in Geneva, speaking on Sexual Health & Human Rights. All the safe (and not so safe for work!) videos are at https://porn4prep.com and you can read more about pre-exposure prophylaxis (PrEP) for HIV which is already reducing HIV transmission. Please check out the links below mentioned by Jason in the podcast to learn more about helping sex workers keep safe, the fight for the decriminalisation of sex work and the legal frameworks that are in place across the world.  https://decrimnow.org.uk SWARM: https://www.swarmcollective.org National Ugly Mugs: https://uknswp.org/ If you’d like to support Jason’s work please take a look at https://thedominofoundation.co.uk. CW: This episode has mention of rape and gay conversion therapy. * We would love to hear from you and continue the conversation. Email us at hello@thepleasurepodcast.com or tweet us @ThePleasurePod. * Social Media: Jason Domino: @TheJasonDomino  Naomi Sheldon: @NaomiSheldon1 Anand Patel: @therealdranand Follow us at: @ThePleasurePod and visit us at acast.com/privacy  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
We're back! Welcome to the second series of the Pleasure Podcast. We are thrilled to be kicking off our first episode with multi-award winning comedian, author, actor, documentary maker and fellow podcaster Sara Pascoe. This year her comedy show Lads Lads Lads, had a primetime BBC2 special, and her new BBC2 sitcom has just been announced. It’s on family dynamics, sex and the reason humans behave the way they do, a theme Sara has become master of. Sara’s work is characterised by the studious findings of a ferocious intelligence delivered with warmth and wit, and her latest offering to our bookshelves is no exception. Her first book Animal a partial autobiography mixing feminism, memoir and evolutionary biology. Sex, Power, Money her second non-fiction, is an utterly insightful, funny and sensitive exploration of the way human behaviour and modern masculinity is underpinned by wealth and economics. We visited Sara and her dog Mouse in her lovely home in London to speak about her new book, which is why you might hear some puppy water slurping and paw pattering.  We talk about Hebephilia, the true meaning of ravishing, the evolutionary perspective on sexual desire, why we socially respect a large penis but don’t choose to have sex with them, the psychology of catcalling and why we lay everything at porn’s door to avoid having educational conversations about sex. We also manage to squeeze in a little about how in researching for her book Sara's perspective on porn and sex work began to evolve. She’s one of the brightest, funniest women I’ve ever had the pleasure to meet. We hope you enjoy being welcomed into the brilliant mind of Sara Pascoe as much as we did. Sex Power Money is available to buy from all good bookstores and her companion podcast of the same name (a brilliant series of interviews with people we rarely get to hear from) is available from wherever you get your podcasts. You can buy Sex, Power, Money here and Animal here. * CW: This episode has mentions of rape, sexual violence and suicide. * We would love to hear from you and continue the conversation. Email us at hello@thepleasurepodcast.com or tweet us @ThePleasurePod. * Social Media: Naomi Sheldon: @NaomiSheldon1 Anand Patel: @therealdranand Sara Pascoe: @sarapascoe Follow us at: @ThePleasurePod and visit us at www.thepleasurepodcast.com  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
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