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Warrior DIVAS | Real Talk for Real Women

Warrior DIVAS | Real Talk for Real Women
Author: Angie Leigh Monroe
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© 2020 Warrior DIVAS | Real Talk for Real Women
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Are you sick and tired of hearing how women are being held back? We are breaking through self-limiting beliefs, overcoming obstacles, and encountering ceiling shattering opportunities each and every day! Learn how Angie Leigh Monroe, helps women unleash their inner DIVA, and make a positive impact in the world we live in. Angie is a Strategist, Consultant, International Speaker and the founder of DIVAS Impact, and Veteran DIVAS. Angie takes women who are seeking the path of self-discovery, by breaking down strongholds, lifting up dreams and empowering leadership. Are you ready to be DIVAS to live a Destined, Inspired, Victorious, Accountable life with a strong Sisterhood of women ready to make an Impact!
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All these were descendants of Asher—heads of families, choice men, brave warriors and outstanding leaders. 1 Chronicles 7:40 I saw an interesting question from a friend on Facebook today and it had me thinking of the perspective of everything I read. The question was: “Men, what are your thoughts about reading books by women? There was more to her question but that one sentence stopped me to think when was the last time I heard a man recommend a book written by a female author. Then I started asking myself what perspective do I read the books from? Whether I am reading a self-improvement book, Christian living, leadership or the bible, how I identify with the author can dictate how much I buy into the ability for me to have the transformation promised in the book. Early on in my married life I would read Danielle Steele novels, I was hooked, I would sit and read a complete book in one sitting. This did absolutely nothing for the upkeep of my home. I began to feel guilty after arguing with my husband over why the house was so trashed. So I would barter with myself, I can read a chapter after I clean up the breakfast dishes, I can read another chapter after I start a load of laundry and dust, I can start another chapter after I clean the bathrooms. The house was getting cleaned my husband was not happy but a little more satisfied. I was miserable, being jerked back to the reality of snotty noses, baby diapers, fixing dinner, and cleaning…. None of the characters in the stories I read had to put up with this. Why couldn’t my husband be like the romantic love interest in the story I was reading? See, when you read a book, any book it has the ability to transform you and transport you to another place and time, but when you stop reading you are still right back where you were when you started unless you are moved to action. Why did those Danielle Steele novels speak to me? Because she was a woman writing about the things many women long for, but very seldom talk about. However, I cannot tell you one man I know of that has read a Danielle Steele novel. There are very few that will admit they have read Emily Dickens or Maya Angelou. All my life I have been told that the Bible is THE LIVING BREATHING WORD of GOD, as much as I believe that today when my friend asked that question I began to think there are some ways that I feel the Bible does NOT apply to me as a woman. I was feeling a little uninspired as I began flipping through the Bible reading about Warriors and I came across 1 Chronicles 7:40 All these were descendants of Asher—heads of families, choice men, brave warriors and outstanding leaders. When you read that as a woman, first thing I notice it says is “Choice Men”. I was about to be dismissive of the verse and go on searching for something more along the lines of what I wanted to read about. Please tell me I am not the only one who does this? But anyway as I began to move on I felt God tell me to wait. Asking me how could there be so many descendants of Asher without women? It said these men were heads of families, that means they had women who handled everything while they were away at war. It said they were choice men, choice men only associated with choice women. Brave warriors you know what I am going to come back to this point….Outstanding leaders, one thing I know for sure is outstanding leaders raise everyone around them to be outstanding as well. Going back to Brave Warriors, as a veteran, who is married to a veteran, I will tell you it is very difficult to serve during a time of war, I would never minimize the warrior mentality of a service member in the field. However, as a mom of a service member, and daughter of a police officer I also know that it takes a warrior mindset for those of us at home while our loved ones are serving on the battlefield. Yet when I read this scripture there was even more that He whispered to me. That there are many women, maybe you are one of them who are standing strong as the head of their home. Women who are Choice women, and brave warriors and outstanding leaders. In a verse that has over a dozen words, I was letting one small word disqualify the whole sentence and how it applied to me. What if instead I stopped and asked God to reveal to me how He wants me to see His word, and even more how He wants me to apply his word. Funny thing, when I was done reading the Bible today, I was not snapped back to the reality I started with, like when I read those empty romance novels. Instead I was transformed with a new warrior mindset by a God that loves me and knows me more intimately than any author could ever write about. Let’s be mindful of what we are feeding our minds, our bodies and our souls so that we can be transformed from the inside out by our heavenly father. Questions to Ponder:What are you reading?How is it moving you closer to or further away from your purpose? Do you have a Warrior Mindset?
Hello and Welcome to Warrior DIVAS Daily Devotional today’s verse is Psalm 119:64 The earth is filled with your love, Lord; teach me your decrees. When I was a little girl people would always ask me where I got my pretty blue eyes, I would giggle and say “Key-Mart”….Yes, everything back in the day came from K-Mart, but the truth was I had my daddy’s eye. My dad’s eyes are unique and have a unique perspective. He and I have often been able to see and recognize things that many overlook. He is an Army veteran and retired Police Officer. He taught me how to look for things. I remember one car ride where he was telling me about when you are looking for something in an open field, like a deer. You would lookout as far as you could see and then bring your gaze back toward you. This allowed your eyes to catch what you were looking for instead of your eyes chasing where the deer had been. Another thing my dad showed me was how to see people, not their circumstance. There were times when he would bring homeless people to our home, so they could get a shower, a hot meal, their clothes washed and even new clothes, and see if there were ways my mom and dad could help them find a safe place to stay. They would minister to these people in physically and spiritually. My daddy’s eye’s taught me to search the world from the perspective of my Heavenly Father. I don’t know about you but when I look at social media, the news and even sometimes driving down the road, it is hard to remember that the earth is filled with love. Right now all my physical eyes can see is pain, anger, and war. However when I take the time to look around with my Heavenly fathers eyes I am able to see things from a different perspective. I set my vision out towards heaven, and for all those out there running scared, and in pain, I am able to see them as they run into my view. I try not to see their actions, but see beyond to what is the root of their pain. One thing I have begin to realize is so many people just want to be accepted, to be seen, to be heard, mostly they just want to be LOVED. To many of my friends Christian and non-Christian are spreading their “Truth” to be correct from a worldly perspective, but my challenge to myself and each of you listening today is to be relationally right by sharing God’s truth of Love, Peace, Joy & HOPE! Questions to Consider?What eyes are you looking at the world through?Do you love the unlovable? How will you show love to those around you today?
Hello and welcome to warrior divas real talk for real women. This is your host Angie Lehman ro and in the studio with me today I have Connie Wyatt Coleman. She is a dear friend of mine. She has a long lineage of, of expertise that she brings to the table but more importantly she is a woman that's after Christ's heart and ferociously runs after him every day of her life. So I cannot wait to see we we talked a little bit about how this show may go. And then we said, You know what, we just need to have one of our talks on the air. So that's what we're doing today. Welcome, Connie. Good to be here. Good to be here. Rules of Engagement. No throw punches today. No throw punches. But that's what we do when we get together, right? Yes. And you know what i have treasured it. Very few friends will take friendship and allow accountability with it. And we've had a long history of being able to love each other and hold each other accountable at the same time. We have and you know, it's one of those things that we have laughed together. We have cried together. We have been mad together. We have watched our children grow together. When we met I didn't have grandchildren and now I do. That is crazy. And they're big. They're six getting to see him too. Yeah, they're beautiful. So, you know it's it's crazy. All the all the things that have happened your girls have grown up gone through high school ones about to get married, you know and, and praise the Lord she has not been a bridezilla. Oh, goodness. That is a Praise the Lord. Yes, I will take it in this day and age with everything going on in the world to kind of put some things in perspective. Yeah, puts things in perspective for us. So I'm glad to hear all that's going good and all of our lives but you know, we also know that not everybody's doing good with things going on in their world. It doesn't have to do with if you're hearing this and listening to this in the middle of the Coronavirus thing. It doesn't even have to do with that. Some people just have a hard time getting by day by day. life on this earth is just hard, right? It just is. I I watched a video. Last night somebody had a lady and a pantry. She was singing the song Jolene. But instead of singing it, please don't take my man it says please come and take my man. And she says, and if you don't answer I'll have to call Irene. And so I know this affects people in a humorous way it affects people in an angry way and a pic affects people in a lonely way. And one of the things we like to do on warrior divas is just shine a light into that darkness in so you can see a way out and we were talking last night and one of our studies in john, where you know, that where there was a challenge to the to the apostles to be that light and to continue to live that light out. Not To expose, but that that fear and evil cannot reside in the light. And truth is the way truth is the light. And so, you know, I started thinking, what are some of the ways that I could poke and prod Connie to open up the truth of Christ to to the audience today, you know, because she didn't take a whole lot doesn't take a whole lot. If you get to follow her on Facebook, she shares some little morning devotionals on there quite often that are very good, packed, powerful, very easy to read. And that's not an easy task for someone who is as educated as she is to speak the commoners language that I can read and understand. I love it. All these people getting on and sharing their messages on Facebook and all that stuff in there using all these big words and I'm like, okay, I didn't know I was gonna have to break a dictionary and a thesaurus to figure out what this person saying, I just want it to be relevant. And that's something that Connie does. Every time she shares in this season, haven't you? There's been a lot of ugly and we'll address some of that later. But there's been such an influx of creativity and letting their light shine like you're throwing them out and, and even people that maybe didn't before coming on and just time and time again, using all different ways of creativity to make it through this season to encourage other people to love on others, with social distancing in place, but right, you know, just some real creative ways to intentionally reach out to each other. Well, you know, and it's the what it was at the Dallas orchestra performed yesterday. For the first time together since the beginning of March and they did it all from their own living rooms and did it online together. Yeah. Wonderful. What a wonderful way of you know, right now one of the things that this is teaching us is how to push through limitations. What a great thing. You're telling me I can't do this, but I'm gonna find a way to still be relevant in the world I live in. Yes. And what a great thing for all of us. Wow. Yes, personally and professionally. I know. My staff up CEO at wise choices Resource Center in pregnancy Resource Center indicator and just getting together with the staff on zoom and going okay. We know what the box is. We know what our limitations are. We know what we can do safely and what we can't within the guidelines and protocol, but Okay, now, step outside the box. How can we continue to reach our clients To reach our partners in ways we haven't thought of before, right? That would be sustainable, really, even after this season is over, because there's the good news this season will eventually be over. Well, and while we're recording this today in the studio, we're actually recording this on Good Friday. We are. And the reason I kind of wanted to do that is it's a part of the time that we're in our darkest hour where it's actually between the 12 and 3pm. Our time I know that's not the time it is and in Jerusalem, but our time, this would be the time that was the darkest of the dark days going into Easter weekend. It's Friday, it's Friday, but you know what Sunday's coming. And we have the benefit of hindsight to see that. Yeah. But you know what Jesus had the full sight to prepare his disciples before that, so that they wouldn't have to live in fear so they wouldn't have to. They could see hope at the end. You know, I think the thing that gets me is how quickly we judge them. Mm hmm. Because I he tried to tell you, he tried like multiple times, yeah. But then I look at myself, right? And how many times has he fully told me and we have full revelation of Scripture, right? How many times has he shown me the plan and that he will not leave us he will not forsake us. He, he is coming again. And he is victorious. And we have the whole counsel of Scripture and yet we still back up and fear and we still wonder and doubt in the middle of the season if if what he said is true, and if it will hold true. So it's Real easy to look at Peter and go walk. How could you deny him? Right? Well, Connie, how can you live in fear and deny the power he has in your life? Well, we were talking about we read the, the gospel of john, in our group Bible study yesterday. And one of the things that we read about was right after that were Peter, you know, had denied him three times. But when Jesus made it so important to go and see his apostles multiple times after he, after he had risen, and there's the one occasion where he's talking with Peter. And he's telling asking Peter over and over Do you love me? And Peter saying, yes. And do you love me? Yes. And do you love me? Yes. Excuse me. And I think the reason gee This is asking him that is to get Peter to say yes to Him. But also for Peter to hear Jesus say that I love you get it sunken into Peter said, Peter is kinda like my six year old grandson. You got to repeat it a few times for it to sink in. And sometimes you might have to inflect your voice a little more than you really need to you know, it's that Moonstruck snap out of it moment. Oh, God has to do that to me. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Walking through a situation just this last week. And just like, Lord, I could really use the cliff notes at this point. Right. Right. One other chapter just who, let's, let's get some cliff notes here. But well, one of the other things we talked about in our study this week in our warrior divas Facebook group and if you're not a part of it, you should be a part of it because we're starting to do more and more studying in there. And because We're on a mission to equip and empower. Not just our generation of women, but women that are coming back behind us, you know, we want it to be a legacy project. And so one of the things we were discussing this week in there was how the Roman soldiers and pilot inherit, they had no clue as to what the scripture said. So when those Roman soldiers are at the feet of Jesus about this time of the day, and they're casting lots for his garment, they had no idea they were fulfilling prophecy. Yeah. The one that pure steam on the side and didn't break his legs. They had no idea they were fulfilling prophecy. And yet he realized who it was right? No, I I'm like you we kind of talked about this weekend and I can't believe you know, we're sitting here right now and Think about all the things that happened on that Friday and just like today, things you never dreamed, you would see happen, right? The Son of God hung on across Really? His disciples did not deny him. I mean, Christian people would rather loose Brabus than Jesus. I mean, who are we right? But then I start thinking about Saturday. And when the sun goes down, it's it's the Sabbath, right? And somehow in the middle of the chaos, and the trauma, they go back home, and even though they don't get it, they don't understand it in the middle of the doubt. When the hope of their expectation is in the tomb, they walk by faith And they cry out to the Lord on the Sabbath. And that, that Saturday to me has always been. I mean, you know how it is when you come through a trauma and and you get back to your house and you kind of sit down and you kind of start feeling yo
Well for those of you that are joining us, we are here in the warrior divas real talk for real women Facebook group and we are doing our show we're adapting to our ever changing society. We are being emotionally connected in a social distancing world so Today, I am excited about the show we have for you We but before we get started, I wanted to let you know that if you're watching this in the group, you can invite other people to join us in the group to watch it. comment in the comment section, give a little like a little love. Leave one of the emoticons if we make it happy, sad or mad, any of that in the in the group. And I want to welcome our guests today and just a few moments, they're gonna let us know a little bit about themselves. And then as we go through the show, you'll get to learn a little bit more about them. As I said, I'm Angie Monroe, I am the host of the show. This show airs every Tuesday from 11am to 1pm Central Standard Time on fishbowl radio network and then you can find it starting at 3pm on all the podcast social networking sites. So if you hear something you like today or or you really want somebody else listen to that's the great way to share it. Plus, it'll be here in the group as well. So We're going to start off we've got Stacey up in the top we've got Janet Stacey wave. Janet under Stacey. We've got misty right next to Stacey to Janet and then we got cam. I don't know how it's showing up on everybody. thing. I guess mine's a little bit different. So getting yelled away. So I want y'all to we're gonna start with Stacey and kind of go in that order. So Stacy if you will, kind of give us a who you are, what your occupation is, where you're located and what you're passionate about. My name is Stacey Penny when I am the owner of Alexander medical Spa in Hurst, Texas. I'm also very involved in the Chamber of Commerce. I'm on the board of directors. I'm also on the board of directors for central arts of Bedford and Hearst. I like being involved in the community. That's one of my passions. I love helping other people. I like to be involved in charities. I also am passionate about learning. And I like to learn from other people. I like to learn from books. And I like to learn from doing. And this is my first podcast so I'm learning right now. Awesome. All right, we have Janet Janet, tell us a little bit Hey, Shay break out and dance or when I was live that and you did that sway app yesterday, didn't you? Yes, I had 500 views as people actually think I can dance that good which is really awesome. Yeah, I can't really dance that good y'all. Okay, my name is Janet Manor and I live in the middle of nowhere Kansas. I used to live in Texas and I miss you guys miss all the Texas hair and all the beauty of Texas women. And not that I don't love my Kansas ladies, but I do miss Texas and and I am retired but I still passionate about helping People, I I take a lot of phone calls and do a lot of praying for people still people call me for that a lot. And I teach a Bible study class of about 25 women every Monday night. So that's I'm really passionate about studying the Bible. I have the time, most of the time now to do it. And so a very busy life up until this point. So it's been, it's a blessing to be able to sit and sit in word and he's, we just did James Bible study. And so he's prepared us for a time as this to consider it all joy to be in this trial. That's where we are. And as women and all the people that we love and care for are going to follow our lead. You're just really that's the truth and our families. So trying to keep it all joyful here, and it's not being unrealistic, but now's the time to shine. Ladies, now's the time to shine. So absolutely, absolutely. Misty, how about you? Hi, I missed you. I'm the owner of picture perfect brows and beauty and co founder of expanded woman. And you know, I, I'm located but for Texas By the way, and I'm super passionate about people, connecting others and also just empowering other women building confidence. Those are the things and I'm very woman centric as well. So I definitely think we aligned in that way, Angie. Absolutely. So Kim, Kim get started. Marcel reviver talk about her so much, but many of y'all have not ever really officially met her. So this is Kim. Hi, Kim. I'm Kim. And I'm in Grapevine, Texas. And um, I, for a long time have been a small business owner had a graphic design business out of my house. Really Long time since 2015, I've been doing ministry and biblical counseling with women and I graduated last November with my certification to be a biblical counselor. And so, out of that, hopefully a ministry is being birthed. But, you know, God had different plans for how 2020 is gonna go so I'm just my word for the year was restart. Um, I know that I'm still very passionate about women seeing women healed, broken hearts restored, just walking in freedom and and the path that God has for them. So that's my true passion and how that shows up and what that looks like kind of ebbs and flows. As I think I'm growing and maturing in the Lord, so we'll see what he has for next. Yeah, it's interesting because without planning it tonight, we ended up with two of the ladies on the show that have helped me with my external beauty. We got misty and Stacy that have helped me with the external beauty. And then Janet and Kim have helped me with my spiritual beauty over the last several years of my life, and I tell the story about mending the soul all the time and how much I hated that class but loved that class. And Janet's the one that kind of I brought it up to her one day and she goes you're in my class period, you know it's done now I was like, Okay, what did I get myself into? So and then all that you've seen growing with divas impact the magazine The the beautiful flyers and all the thing, the logo for warrior divas all of that has been done by Kim. So pm is the previous creative genius behind all of that. So Mary, and I just get to come up with great, crazy ideas and go, Hey, friends, let's have some fun. But so, you know, Kim has been on isolation a little bit longer than the rest of us. And I'll let her share a little bit about that as we go on. But we were just talking about what is the purpose of the show? What are we wanting to do with the show? And yes, I'm not touching my face. I'm touching my hair. So don't anybody freak out about Corona on me because I'm putting my hair in my house. But, you know, our biggest thing is we want to be somebody that shines a light. So we realized that when you are socially isolated, you don't need to be emotionally isolated. And so we're going to start doing more and more things like this inside the group. Just to have a fun way Friday night, we're going to have a pajama party inside the group everybody show up, we're going to open up the zoom live thing. Let everybody jump on, we'll have a little dance party on there, we'll do a whole bunch of fun stuff inside the group. With that, just because moms and women married single with kids without kids, we all just need to blow off steam at some point, right? Ah. So part of what we're wanting to be is shine that light, we're going to do that and a lot of spiritual ways. We're going to do that in a lot of emotional ways. We're going to do that in a lot of fun ways. So Friday night will be instead of a divas night out it will be a divas night in so you will start seeing us talking about that later on this week. And we'll do one of those each week until we're set free and then we'll start having divas nights out because we'll be building relationships behind the scenes. So somebody somebody had a post up the other day, one of the single people I know was talking said, Wait a minute, you mean I actually got to talk to somebody and get to know them first before I go on a real date. So we're going to take the opportunity to get to know you and we want to talk with, you know, the girls here, I want you to realize that it's not just me in this group. There's other amazing women in this group that can leave things up and talk with you and encourage you and inspire you. And that's what we're all here to do. So this morning, I shared in the group, the john Maxwell video about leadership, and I was live streaming watch parties in this group and another group and trying to leave the notes in there and I do have the notes I'll put them in the notes in a file here inside the group from that section once I get them cleaned up to where other people can kind of interpret my notes as I typed them up, but they're still a little wonky and You know, it was great because he was speaking to leaders. Now tomorrow, he's going to be talking and tomorrow and to say he's going to be talking, turning adversity into advantage. And we're going to kind of kick that off tonight talking about what we as women are thinking and doing and feeling, and, and all of that. So what I want you to know is, we're women here, we may be sitting in a somewhat good situation. I don't know everybody's situation here. But I do know all these women, I don't know all their stories. But I do know all these women. And I do know that they are women that lead with love, they leave with graciousness, they don't lead with fear, they lead with joy. And that's why I was so excited that they joined us on the show today. So as we get going, we're going to start off with emotional health. So first off, we're going to do a temperature check of everybody on the call. So how are you Feeling what's going on? For some of us, it's day one for some of us. What, 90 Kim? Boy? So, um, you know, let's start. Let's start with Kim. Since she's been the longest Kim, how are you feeling? I you know, I'm actually feeling really good. I think that, you know, my journey started on January 2 with my quadruple bypass. So, I think I went through some emotional shock that kind of first month, like, I came home from the hospital on the fifth. And ph
Hey this is Angie Monroe of the warrior divas show broadcasting live each Tuesday 11 am Central from globe life park in Arlington, Texas login to hear real talk with real women that will empower and equip you to make a more powerful impact in the world each Tuesday 11 am Central on fishbowl Radio Network Hello, and welcome to warrior divas real talk for real women. I am your host Angie Leigh Monroe, our show is specifically that was right I said specifically, incorrectly because I too can mess up from time to time. It is specifically designed for our divas; divas is an acronym for Destin inspired victorious accountable sisters. And we will be bringing guests on our show who will help in our mission to equip and empower a global community of women change agents as we make a positive impact in the world we live in. When we started divas impact four years ago, we quip that we wanted to change the way women think and speak about themselves and others. As we've progressed, so has our thinking and out of our intentions, we want to talk about things that are impacting women. So this means we talk about faith, family, fitness, finance, food and a lot of other words that don't begin with f. So today we welcome Laurie Vaughn speaks of lbs consulting loriann speaks is an expert in the area of speaker and author support. She amplifies the visibility of authors, speakers and messengers. While they do what they love. Speak. laurieann has helped spearhead multiple best selling book campaigns, editing proofing, through to launch and social media marketing to help authors create buzz and momentum throughout social media platforms and increase their Message worldwide loriann and her team have made it their mission to empower speakers to deliver their message by handling the rest of the details. Prior to starting their own company loriann had over 15 years of professional experience supporting a top 100 thought leader as she built her businesses. Welcome to the show. loriann Thanks so much, Angie. It's a pleasure to be here. Well, I personally know what a busy busy lady you are. And you've had some major projects you're working on for some of my friends, and you've done some work for me as well. But before we get into all that, what I want to visit with you about who you are and how you got here today, is that all right. Yeah, totally cool. Yeah. I love that. So if you can just kind of give us a backstory. You. You said you work for a thought leader for 15 years. I'm sure there's things you did before that. I know you're a mom. So you're one What are some of the things that kind of led you to where you are today? Well, great, yeah. Yes, I am no spring chicken. I've probably had four different careers in my lifetime. I started off in my teens and 20s being so politically involved and got my degrees in political science and economics and wanted to be in politics. Thank goodness and thank God up above that he had other plans for me, and I am not there now. So I did that. And then I became a recruiter. And when the when 911 happened, my recruiting business went to hell in a handbasket. So, I started working for this thought leader, and I was hurt for all intents purposes, girl Friday. office manager, you know, gatekeeper. And I spent 15 years learning the business of speakers and authors. And so, but really, once I had children my focus, you know, I, like I said, I started off wanting to be, like President of the United States, you know, the first woman president of the United States. Then I had children. And I realized, Oh, this is, this is what I'm good at. This is what I love. And so, when you talk about where was I, and how have I gotten here, once I had children, the business kind of went as a means to an end instead of being you know, the end all and beall and being a mom was the number one thing in my life. And, and so, you know, I did I I worked at A regular job so I could be mom and Girl Scout leader and room mom and, and be able to do all the things that I wanted to do as a mom. I love that. Sorry. I said I love that. Yeah, you know, and I and I wouldn't have traded it for the world. You know. I'm kind of glad that I never really got into the whole corporate america thing. But what got me now to owning my own company, though, is that back in December of 2017, I was laid off, my boss decided to sell our company, and I knew it was coming. But But I decided I was just going to stay until the end because she needed me. And and, and so and I knew there wasn't going to be much difference between hitting the the, you know, employment market at 59 or at 60. I was pretty bad. You know, they're not going to be doing well and I and I just sat there and went, Okay, let's just see this through to the end. And once I was laid off, it became very clear to me that once again, corporate america wasn't going to be my, you know, my journey. I must have sent out 100 different resumes and never got a call, never got a call. And so I knew if I was going to continue to work, I better start my own company. And I did and I'm so glad I did. So glad I did. Well, I love the part that you said, you know, you saw the writing on the wall you saw she was retiring, stepping away and and but you stayed until the end. I think there's so much that's lost in that finishing well, moment. You know, you you worked with this woman side by side, you served her. You served her well over the 15 years, but you also finished Well, we With her and and that's got to be a sense of accomplishment that many people miss out on today. A lot of people see the writing on the wall and they're like I'm getting out while the getting out good button right. But it's finishing well that that right there is a good wealth of information for people to grab ahold of because we've been in a couple of situations when we've been with a church that was closing its doors or a company that's closing its doors, in that finishing Well, it feels like kind of like you put your kid to bed at night, you know, you kind of you kind of made sure that from the time they rose till the time they went to bed, everything was taken care of and they were they were handled in the best way possible. And it's the closing of a chapter in in celebration of that chapter as well. Exactly in and you know, it's a karma thing as well. And it was important to support her through this process because it wasn't necessarily something she was all that jazz to do, but knew that she needed to just get out from under the actual company aspect. And just go back to being Bev and you know, and enjoying her life with her husband of 44 years. So. So I was supportive. And that's kind of the way I am with my clients now. And it is a common thing because Beth has probably introduced me and referred me to at least 1520 of our friends. Wow, over the last two and a half years, so it's it. I think you get what you get. Right? I think that's really the way life boils down. Is yet you get what you give. So I agree wholeheartedly. Good. Yeah. Well, one of the things that We've talked about whenever you and I have been on the phone before, was that you kind of not use that nurturing that you use with your children with with your thought leader that you support it with all the with all the companies you've been with, you've used that nurturing aspect of yourself. It's not a part of your DNA, it is your whole DNA. That's, that's the part that I love about you is you, you see the potential and the possibilities in in people. And you want to call that out and you want to help support that and, and push push them and challenge them. But you do it in a way that is very impactful. And I want to commend you for that while I have you on the air because you don't get to tell people that very often where they actually slow down and listen to it, say it. Well, thank you. Thank you. I have really You know, when I started the company, I wouldn't say that I was passionate about what I was doing, until I really realized how much mentoring was involved because I was now working with a lot of what I call newbies. Right? And I love mentoring. That's, that's what I'm all about. And once I embraced that, and realized, this is what I can be doing for so many people, that's when I got passionate about what I was doing. Well, I think one of the other remarks that comes to mind is something that Michael Hyatt has said before, you know, people go out and I'm gonna have you share a little more specifically about the business you started here in a minute, but Michael Hyatt commented one time and I've kind of hung my hat on it is don't go out and look for people to help you get where you're going that haven't been there you go and you look for people. To help you get where you're going that have already been there, whether it's an assistant, a coach, a mentor, whatever it is, a lot of times people go okay well I can't afford a virtual assistant a high paying virtual assistant so I'm just going to get some little girl off the street help her have her help her out, help me out, you know it's a helping each other out type of Jerry Maguire moment helped me show you the money type thing. But they're not equipped. They they haven't been where you're wanting to go and Michael Hyatt says if you want to be a fortune 500 company you need a coach that has been a leader in the fortune 500 into industry if you want to, or you need an administrative assistant that has served as a role in a fortune 500 company, you need a a support system that has been where you want to go and and i think that's beautiful because you said you work with speakers and authors and and messengers and, and those are the people that you've already served and served in a high capacity. And so you can serve your clients so much better because you've already been there done that saying that you know what to expect even before they expect it, you know how to talk them off the roof. All of that. So, so yeah, te
Hello and welcome to warrior divas real talk for real women. Our show is specifically designed for divas. divas is an acronym for Destin inspired victorious accountable sisters. And we will be bringing guests on our show who will help in our mission to equip and empower a global community of women change agents as we make a positive impact on the world we live in. When we started doing this impact about four years ago, we quipped that we wanted to change the way women think and speak about themselves and others. And as we progress that was our thinking and our intentions and we want to talk about things that are impacting women. So that means we will talk about faith, family, fitness, finance, dude, and a lot of other words that don't even begin with that. So today I'm excited to bring on the show Lucy Mitchell are fierce in beautiful wellness, and I met Lucy through her husband I've been watching her for a little while and have fallen in love with her beautiful outlook on life. Lucy is a mindset and wellness coach site. Colin fitness fanatic food lover look, we got some of those f words in there. And all around personal development junkie she helps women break free from their inner mindset demons and create healthy relationships with food and fitness and define their self worth and find the confidence to live a life of purpose on their own terms. Welcome to the show, Lucy. Thank you, thank you. Well, I am so thankful to have you on the show and you know, it's a little bit of one of those things that I'm listening to what you're talking about and and what your mission is and, and it lines up so much with what we wanted to do and what we are hoping to accomplish with empowering and equipping women. I think it's it's just beautiful. So first off, I want to tell I want you to give us a little bit about what Why this is important to you? Oh, gosh, I mean, I think that I would probably have to go to a little bit of a backstory in myself. I mean, I'm first of all, I'm one of four daughters that my father had. So that in itself, there's lots of events going on in that house with my mother. And in fact, they always had a habit of choosing even female animal that was all about a daddy, there was a glutton for punishment, or he was a sweetheart, through and through. But he did raise him and my mother always did raise us to be very strong willed, very independent woman. And I said something that I've always carried through my entire life and probably proved very difficult and a lot of my relationships that I was not so much of what you call quote, unquote, a submissive woman. I just always do what I want. To do what I wanted out of life, and I wanted all my relationships, no matter what they were friendships, personal relationships, my children to live vicariously through that just, you know speak your truth. Speak your mind and and live your life to the fullest. And I really, it really hit to my core when my dad passed away suddenly, actually yesterday he realized it was five years that cancer took him from us. And in fact I woke up this morning going oh my gosh, I didn't even reflect or or anything about that which is a good thing because that means that we're you know, we're at peace with you know, his passing but I had decided about a couple of years ago. A that that cancer is is one of those that doesn't put the word I'm looking for it's it's it knows no boundaries. It's not just hereditary. It can affect anything. One right and, and that it's really important that we look for the signs and that we pay attention to ourselves. And as women, we spend so much time taking care of others that we don't stop and listen to ourselves and and listen to our own bodies and take care of our own needs. And that's where I decided, you know, that's not okay, we should be able to speak out and take care of ourselves. And so I just started like looking inward and decided I wanted to become a transformational nutritional coach. And I wanted to start working with women and in the pyramid upon women a problem phase of their lives, because that's the phase where we just given up, we have no purpose. We were just, it's all about our kids. It's all about our husbands. It's all about everybody else, and we no longer have a voice and by the time we have a voice, we feel it's too late. And I'm like, I'm techno sister. You have a voice and it's time to use it. And that's what my purpose has been. Is, is taking this drive that I have to live healthier to speak your truth to link arms with other sisters and just, you know, whatever it is, whether it's licensing, whether it's spiritual, whether it's sexual, whether its food, whether it's fitness, no matter what it is, it's like your children will be fine. Take the time to take care of yourself. Exactly where I'm at. Well, I think you bring up a beautiful point because a lot of the times those of us that are in those older years of life in we're not old, we're not dead. We we have a lot to give up, live up to and, and one of the things that I hear all too often is it's not only that they've given up, it's because a lot of times they've been so invested in helping their children. Or their spouse build up their dreams that they forgot how to dream. They didn't they don't know how to dream anymore. And they just don't have the energy to move forward with anything anymore. And a lot of that has a lot to do with Fitness, Health, the food you're putting in your body, your hormones, and like you said, they give up. I can relate to this because about a year or two ago, I was pretty much in the same place. I was. Okay, something has got to change. This is not right. Some I feel like something's hijacking my body and and what I found is there's a lot of women out there that feel that they just have to suffer silently. And I love that you're saying that's not true. I agree. And I think the other F word that we're all set is fear. Mm hmm. Exactly. Here I have the women that I have talked to is fear not a change but of making a change because they have gotten so stagnant are so used to a certain routine, a monotonous routine of doing things. It's, I want to say and I mean I'm 45 years old I've had three children I have four of my stepdaughter, but I've had four children and mentally and physically I do not feel 45 but I've also made that my passion drive like not because I remember watching my mom grow up and personalities eyes is probably today 65 right and and even then some 65 there are 45 I mean, all just depends on on your your drive to be something different, but I remember there was a cartoon and I'm gonna really date myself but way before I was born, Black and White, probably from Disney, but it was just as monotonous black or white. Whether they were just a repetitive cartoon like they had briefcases and they were just walking slowly along the line to work. And it just, it was just repetitive. They're just doing the same thing. over and over and over again, in no power, there was no life, there was no activity. And I feel like I see so many women feel that that's what they're supposed to do. Get up, feed the children take care of the husband clean the house, go to bed, right. And when I reach out to when I reach out even to some of my close friends about like, hey, there's this amazing women's conference downtown and we're going to put samples of face creams on our feasts and, and and you know, sample whatever is in here from concept. Well, I'm not no I don't and, and, you know, what will people think? Right now Like First of all, let's see if we can find something new and something done and and like let's get away from the kids away from the husbands and you know we're old I've discovered this amazing you know, like I lost 35 pounds in August give a listen to my body and I and I, you know I it's like to share all the different things that have worked for me for stepping outside of what the norm is. And I want to link Everybody with me I want to take all my sisters with me. And there's so much more there's so much fear. Well, yeah, and I agree with you on that. I think I think we have a lot of women that I listen to and and I'm surrounded by a bunch of strong women so a lot of my friends are kind of in the same boat I am their husband goes to work their husband goes on business trips, they just keep on keepin on they don't let their life be dictated by their their spouses schedule or their kids schedule. They still make time for friends. They still make time for their business, they still make time for living their life. But I realized that there's a out circle of women that I'm connected to, that that's all their life revolves around. It may be for the season, it may be that that's all they know how to do. And one of the things that it like it goes back to that fear word, word, you know, they don't want to rock the boat, so to speak. But I think it also goes back to how we're raised and what we're seeing and what's emulated for us. You talked about your dad being outnumbered by daughters Do you know? Well, he probably didn't, he didn't probably run the house, the house probably ran, you know, by the daughters more than then he would have liked to admit it admitted. But there's that that sense of confidence and ability that he instilled in you to where if your kids or your husband move on, yes, you're going to be you know, to business or to A career path or off to school, you're not going to be wrecked by that because you've got things of your own to do. It doesn't mean you're sitting waiting for Eric to come home. It doesn't mean you're waiting for your kids to come home for your life to be complete. And that's the part that we're wanting to women to realize is you are a complete human being with or without them. They are just, they are your life. You love them. It doesn't disqualify their role in your life, but they are not your your wholeness, and we want to talk about your wholeness. Yeah, yeah,
Hello and welcome to Warrior DIVAS. This is your host Angie Monroe. And I'm delighted to be with you here today as we tackle a topic that is going to cause some angst for me, but as always, I want to remind you that our website is divasimpact com. You can also find us on Facebook under divas impact and if you want to join our group where we talk about all things diva, you can join us at divas making an impact group. And that's our Facebook group. It's a free group to be a part of. We talk about the podcast, we talk about our our blogs that we have and we just talked about life in general in there. So I look forward to connecting with you there and that is where we share all of our latest and greatest news first, so be sure to join in there. And if you're listening to this podcast today, I would love it if you would subscribe. And if You would like, and comment you would do any of that good yummy gummy good stuff to just help us get our rankings out there and help us grow
Because you know what it is when we find things that we really truly like, we like to share them. I mean, that's what women do. We tell other women where the best sales are, how to do each other's hair, the best way to color the gray and, and all of those fun things. We share with each other what we know well, but that's what we need you to do today, because I have a lot of women that come up to us that are wanting to find out about our podcast, and I am just a one man show. And we've got our team that works with us, they share out the news as well. But it's going to take all of us sharing to be able to make the impact that is a significant impact that we're wanting to make. So that's our charge for this week. And, and that's just the housekeeping stuff. Now on to the show.
I have a phrase that I use when we do events and when we take road trips and we do things with family or I'm doing things in business and that phrase is
participate, don't anticipate. So I have a lot of friends that are strong, well organized friends, some would call them control freaks. I know because I am one myself. And they expect to know all the details of everything we're doing.
But I like to surprise people. So last week, we were on a retreat with our team members. And as we were doing our retreat, we had several people that were wanting to know what was next and having an anticipatory plan as to what was coming next. And I'm one of those that like to keep them on their toes. And I want them to be engaged in the moment. Have you ever wanted that for somebody so much that they didn't even understand how fully that could be being engaged and in the moment, so I took the team to Pensacola. We were staying in Destin but I took them to Pensacola on the morning of September 11. We went over to the Naval Air Station there. And we watched the Blue Angels practice. And it was a dynamic site, watching those planes, knowing that everybody there was excited about what they were seeing. But for me, it was a little bit more than that. It was about being there in the moment with the military members on such a poignant date in our history.
We had women that were tied to the military, we had women that weren't tied to the military that were part of our group that day. And I just wanted to give them a glimpse of not only the excitement that was felt by the crowd that was there watching them, but the pride that the military members had as they performed for this crowd.
And knowing that, as the Blue Angels were flying at, however many miles per hour they were flying, I think they said 800 miles per hour. They were flying 18 inches apart the whole time and one of the girls in my group made the comment, I can't even walk next, my husband 18 inches apart without bumping into them. And they're flying at Mach Speed at 18 inches apart. You know, just having a different fresh perspective on things. was really what I wanted to talk to you about today. It's not being so anticipatory about the way you want something to come out, that you miss the blessing that happens in front of you. So there are people that I have done things with before that we're really good at this. They just went with the flow. They loved every moment that They just took the roles as they came. And they just embraced every moment with joy. And then I have people that had everything lined out in their head how everything was supposed to go.
And most of the time, the ones that weren't anticipating, had a better time than the ones that we're anticipating. Because we do this thing called romanticizing a scene before the scene ever happens, right? And then we set ourselves up to be let down.
I'm going to use an example here. And this is just a brief example. But coming home from a long trip, wanting our husband to meet us at the door with a big hug, maybe a bubble bath, dinner on the table, all those things that we deem as romantic in our mind, but we never communicate it to our spouse. So when we walk home and they're like, oh, you're home. Here's the mail. laundries open. If you want to wash your clothes, we get disappointed because it didn't play out in real life, like we expected it to play out in our head.
Now, I know I'm not the only one that's ever done this because I've heard from other women talking about it before that if they get disappointed because their husband didn't think ahead to order dinner for them, didn't think ahead, to plan to keep the laundry open for them didn't plan ahead, think that they might want a back rub or, or bubble bath drawn or anything along those lines. But what we do find is that when we communicate those things to our spouse, then we can set an intention. But have we ever put the shoe on the other foot? Have we ever asked our spouse how they would like the atmosphere set when they come home after a long trip, or a day at work?
Did they walk in the door and they hear us telling them all the things that went wrong with the kids and the dog and the cat that day? Or did they walk into the door with a Hey, honey, how was your day? dinner's almost ready. If you'll just go sit down and relax. I'll let you know when it's ready. Are we giving them a to do list of everything that needs to be done?
See, one of the things I've learned in in my marriage, and I'm still learning it some days I'm just gonna be real with you. Some days it's easier than others is to not walk in on my husband when he walks in the door and go, Hey, the lawn need me needs mowed. The tree needs trim the dogs need to be fed. You said outdoor stuff was your stuff you need to get this done. Instead what I do is I asked him how was his day?
Does he always asked how my day was?
No.
But when I wasn't frustrated with him over that I had that conversation with him. And I didn't use words like, you never asked how my day is because that's just untrue. He does. It may not be until 11 o'clock that night that he may ask me he may not ask me in the moment when I asked him may not be until 11 o'clock that night that he asked me or the next day, but he does ask me so I can't use the term he never. Or you always just come in and sit down and you're done for the evening. Well, I can't use those words either because my husband's a very hard working man and does a lot of things around the house to keep things going and he's constantly helping other people.
He may not always be helping me, which tends to make me sound more narcissistic. When I go that way, then I'm really comfortable admitting that I may be at times
so
Here's the challenge. What is it in your life this week that you've got planned down to a “T” must happen? You're going to hit these deadlines, all these things are going to happen. And then what is your belief about that? If it doesn't happen the way you want it to happen? Are you going to throw in the towel if it doesn't happen, dot for dot the way you want it to happen. Are you going to be able to go with the flow? Are you going to be able to embrace the opportunities that come your way? Are you going to be able to stop and smell the flowers because you are not anticipating but you are participating in the beautiful life that's unfolding in front of you. There are bad things that happen every day. It may be a car wreck, it may be a illness diagnosis, it may be one of many, many things that are bad things that come your way.
But there are also the possibilities of some very beautiful moments happening during those bad things.
I'm going to give you an example.
A friend of mine, mentioned to me the other day that while she was at the hospital while her husband was being diagnosed with an illness that will cost him his life. She had the moment to sit with a woman who was 99 years old.
On her toughest day, finding out that the man she loves will be gone, according to what the doctors say within two years due to this illness.
She took the moment to smell the flowers and visit with this woman and hear great stories of faith of what God can do.
See, she could have been focused on what the doctor said that day. But talking with that 99 year old woman, she found her faith. She found An opportunity to grab on to her prayer life like she's never grabbed on to it before.
Don't miss the blessings that are all around you. Take a moment. Instead of just shouting your order into the box out at the local drive thru. Be sure to learn the name of the person that serving your food, call them by name, talk with them. Ask them how they're doing and wait for it. stop and listen to the answer. Don't just say it so flippantly. Be willing to let your life be interrupted to see the beauty in your life. Let's not be so regimented.
This is something that is very hard for me because I'm a D personality. So I tend to kind of schedule this into my schedule until I get comfortable enough doing it on the fly.
So the other day, we were driving back and we were stopping at the Bucees in Orange Beach, Alabama and if you're listening to this and you don't know what
Hello and welcome to warrior divas real talk for real women. This is your host, Angie Leigh Monroe, and I am super excited about getting to talk with you again this week. It's one of the highlights of my week is putting this podcast together and getting an opportunity to connect with you on another level. Many of you know we have our magazine out that you can go online and and read about we have our upcoming conference where you can meet us up close and personal and have some connection time with us. And and we've got our blogs up and going again. And we've got more people writing and guest writing for a magazine and for our blogs. And we always are welcoming all of you to be a part of that. But each week when I come together and I put these, these podcasts together, I'm really just looking at what is it that I'm hearing from the women that that we're interacting with? What is it that they need to hear on a more broader scale. And so that's why I'm super excited about coming in and doing the podcast and those of you that are watching on video, maybe noticing a little bit of a different scenery behind us we've we've made some strategic changes to be able to continue to add more to what we're doing for our women. And if you don't even know that we have a video version of it, it is on YouTube, we have a warrior divas podcast you can find on YouTube. And you can go click and subscribe and listen and engage with us. And we would totally love to just have another platform to engage with you on. Sometimes it's easy to put a face with a name and listen to somebody watching them for a little bit kind of get to know him a little bit better. So you'll see me and all my beautiful glory. I try and put makeup on. So fair warning there. But I try not to be inauthentic. One of the things is kind of a take me as I am kind of girl, it doesn't mean that it that I don't struggle with putting on airs for people as they say, does that mean that there's times that I don't go, Well, I know I could be better this than this, or I know I am better than this. So I'm just going to fake it till I make it I've had some of those too. I know. I know there are some of you out there feel like you're in that fake it till you make it stage. And then there's times that
I am way more than I'm giving myself credit for. And I'm kind of dumb it myself down so that other people will find me more palatable. And that's a rough thing to, to realize and to, to embrace for yourself. Like I said, we've got our conference coming up in October. And if you want to know anything about what we're doing, where we're going all that stuff, you can find all that information out at divas in pack.com. And you can listen to podcasts, Watch the YouTube, subscribe to the magazine, submit blogs, read blogs, you can do all that on our site there. But what I'm finding lately is I have a lot of women coming to me, and they're looking for a pace that they should be running at, they're not quite sure. They don't want to come in and seem too intimidating. And that blows my mind.
I know. It's something that I myself dealt with early on. And I'm if you haven't been able to tell by now I have a fairly strong personality. And it can be a little off putting I have been told sometimes in words that are not as nice as off putting. But in that, it's mainly that I have a strong sense of self confidence that if I'm going to accept a task, I believe that I have the ability and the skill set and the right people with me that we're going to accomplish that task. And so there's a certain confidence that comes with that. It's not something that we really put our finger on, it's not something that we even really realize I was talking with a good friend. And just the other day about this. There's some women that walk in a room and they wait to be seen. And then there's some women that walk in a room, and they're looking to see other people. Well, this friend and I are those ones that walk in a room looking to see other people. And I'm not talking about the big names in the room, I'm looking to see the woman that sitting by herself. I'm looking to see a woman I haven't connected with yet. I'm looking to see that friend of mine that's walking in the door that looks a little beat up from today's function and trying to get to where we're at, I'm looking at beyond what most people are looking for,
like,
years ago, I would sit in a church service and and we'd have what we call a prophetic service. And it just meant that they were giving words of encouragement. And a lot of times it was pastors sometimes lay leaders that were giving them words of encouragement to different people, just something God had placed on their heart. And I remember there would be times, I would sit in that service just hungry for word for myself. And you know, you had to sit up on the stat sheet on the seat a little better, you straighten up, you lean in, you press in, you're trying to without jumping up and down and raising your hand, you're trying to let them know that you are wanting a word. Well, here's the deal. When I go to networking events, when I go to women's events, when I go to speak at church, or at even corporate training offices and things like that, I can normally tell by the body language of the woman in the room, which one needs somebody to pay attention to them.
See,
we all have a desire to be seen, accepted and heard. And I don't know that we are all very good at helping others be seen, accepted and heard. I'm definitely not the best of it. I am not typically known as a relational type of person. But I approached my relationship building kind of as a task because I'm a test person. And I made that as as a task for myself. So I didn't use it as an excuse of I'm not a relational person. So I don't have to do that. I made it something that I could wrap my brain around to know the importance and why it's important in my life. See, it was 2000 I think was 2009. I had gotten an invitation 2008 I'd gotten an invitation to be a part of a Bible study at our church offices. We had already had a problem that there weren't many life groups for women that met at night. And so those of us that work during the day really didn't have a place to go. So are we had a Bible study that we met in the morning before work started. And it was in that Bible study that morning, that one of the women's pastors came up to me and asked me if I would be a part of a new group they were forming called Wild women in leadership development. And more than just wanting to be a part of that group. The most impactful moment of all of that was that somebody saw me as a person, somebody that had value as somebody that was worth being invited to things. They said, We know you're busy. We know your schedules demanding with your work. But if you and your boss can work out the hours, we'd love for you to be a part of it. Well, the working with the boss took a little finagling and things like that. But we got it done. And I was able to attend women in leadership development, which is where the seeds for divas impact now warrior divas podcast, and our magazine and the blog and all of that came out of that what women and leadership development course that that I went to. But here's
the other thing.
A lot of people look at me and tell me
you're too busy. Or
I didn't invite you because I thought you'd be too busy. I want to make it very clear that I have heard this said to pastor, I've heard this said to strong business women. I've heard this said to moms that volunteer in their community. I've heard this said to many, many, many women. And here's, here's the the truth of the matter is yes, we are busy, a lot of us are doing them a myriad of things. We're about juggling home, and health, and family and spirituality, and all of that stuff. And we need an outlet for somebody to just see us see us as worthy of spending time with without wanting anything from us, and just to be invited and accepted. So when I worked as a assistant for a pastor, I realized how many things were happening that they weren't inviting the pastor to. Because they assumed he was too busy.
And so
one of the things I started doing was I started praying for my pastor, I started praying friendships in my pastor, I started praying relationships. And for my pastor, I started praying relationships and friendships him for his wife, so that she would get people that they couples they could go and do things with. And then somebody said something very empowering to me. And she said, You know, I used to be the one that always had parties always did things and never invited anybody, any of the busy people in my life to it always invited those of us that were just always hanging around. And she served realize that her circle of friends was getting stale. You know, there was no, everybody was starting to agree about the same things. There was no friction and friction is not bad. It's a really good thing. It's just having healthy boundaries to have that friction, right.
So she started to realize
that there were more people she wanted to get to know and wanting to invite in. And so she started challenging other people in her group to start inviting people in. And one of the people that she finally asked, she goes, I know you're super busy, I know you probably can't come. But I wanted to invite you to this. And the lady goes, you know, I've been watching the stories about your group meetings and all your girlfriends getting together. And I've been jealous that nobody has ever invited me to be a part of something like that. And my friend told her said, Well, I just assumed you were always too busy. And she says I am busy. But I also need friendship. I also need companionship, I also need to build relationships with other people and take time for me. So if you're okay to ask the question, knowing that I may not be able to come every time, but I'm going to try my best to come as many times as I can, and
Planning & Executing work, school, life flow
Hello and welcome to warrior divas real talk for real women. This is your host Angie Monroe and I am excited to be here with you today as we unpack a few fun things that we're going to talk about. The just an early reminder as we get going on in the show, you can always find out more information about what we do who we are how to get in touch with us by going to divas impact com that is divas impact.com you can listen to the podcast you can read our blogs, you can send us messages and learn more about our conference. This
Coming up. So, I am going to get us started today. You know, when I started divas impact a few years ago, I told people you know, we want to change the way women think and speak about themselves and others. And it sounded all nice and cute. I talked about, I told them we would talk about things like faith, family, fun, fitness, fashion, food and a lot of other words that begin with F and some that doubt. And, you know, over the time that we've started this podcast, we've talked about several different things. We've talked about freedom. We've talked about
finances a little bit. We haven't quite gotten into that one yet. But we haven't talked about fun, and it's the end of summer, schools just got back into session. And one of the things that I'm starting to realize is if parents don't have a good balance in their life work, and I'm not even calling that a balance, I'm calling it flow a work-life flow.
Then there, they don't give one to their kids. So this was a little bit more evident this year.
My daughter has two kids that are starting kindergarten and I don't have any kids in elementary, junior high or high school anymore. My youngest ones going back to college again. But as we started looking at, how do you plan, when you've gone from a schedule that summer vacation, summer camps, kids home all the time, kids eating you out of house and home, to now you have to plan a structured environment. You have to make sure they're in bed by a certain time. You have to make sure that their homework is done, you have to make sure that you have that time with them. There was a video up the other day on social media about a kid that was getting in trouble with the law because he had posted something in a video game he had written
Something out in a video game. And the cops were there. And they were talking to him and his mom and his mom were saying he's just a little boy, he was about 1516 years old. He's just a little boy. And so there was this whole big dynamic that was going on in there. So how do we, if we're not going to invest in time, energy and effort into our life flow to manage our own time? How are we going to teach our children and lead by example for our children to manage their time for their work-life flow? So over the summer, a lot of kids get up, they sleep and lay, they eat and eat and eat and eat. They play video games, they watch TV, if the scheduling around the house is good, they go to camps if they
if they don't have the money for camps and they play outside until it's time
to come
Man, I mean, that's what we did when we were growing up, right? The generation that we had, we didn't have all those video games we had Atari. I'm dating myself there at Atari, Nintendo, things like that. But we didn't have the things that kept us indoors. So summer meant hanging out by the pool, going to the lake playing outside playing soccer, playing baseball, whatever it was, we went outside, we played until our mom whistled, and if we were further away than our moms whistle, we knew we were in trouble, right? So we also knew that when the sun started going down, it was time to go home.
The other thing we knew that every parent in the neighborhood had the ability and the permission from our parents to whoop our butts if we missed
in their area. So I'm not saying today's parenting is bad. Today's parenting is different than what we had back in my day. So
With the challenges of YouTube, and yes, this is on the YouTube channel as well, of YouTube, of video games of cellular devices and tablets and all the things that we have come into our home. How do we find a way to make space for them to make decisions on their own, not just based on what's being fed to them from these devices, right?
So, my daughter, she's moved into a new home, she's set up her home with her and her kids and all that stuff getting ready for school, and she had to figure out okay, what do I do for meal plans? How do I set this up? And as I was telling a friend about this, they're like, you know, that's some information that would help me. So I'm going to go over the next few minutes here and just tell you a little bit of how I planned out a week when my kids were growing up to see if that might help some of you parents out there
That is back in the thick of things back to school sports starting up all that stuff and you don't know quite how to juggle it. So like I said, I had three kids that are raised. Then we had to bonus kids that lived with us at different times that road back and forth to practices. Their parents were single parents are worked odd hours and couldn't get them where they need to go. So we were those fill-in parents, so to speak. So whenever I got up on Saturday morning, you can choose whatever day of the week you want to do it. I prefer to do Saturday morning, I get up bright and early. I make a list of all the things we had planned for the week ahead. I'd look at the family calendar. I knew when practices where I knew when games were. I knew when they had to stay late at school. I knew everything that was going on from Sunday until the following Saturday, right? And so I would look at what all we had and then I
started making meal plans based on what our schedule was. I didn't want to make a five-course meal on a night that we had softball practice, and had baseball games at the same time. No, I needed to have things in place. So Sundays was always a big meal, we'd have a roast or we'd have sometimes it would be like a sports weekend where my kids just needed the veggies for the day. And so Sunday was our day of rest, we'd get up we'd go to church, we'd come home, and I would have things in different crockpots in the house, I'd have wings and I'd have
pulled pork for pulled pork sliders, and I'd have all these different things that they could just grab and go throughout the day. And they could rest. They could watch sports, they could do cut, catch up on homework, they could nap, they could do everything and there wasn't a structured time on Sunday for us to just have
The formal dinners and everything. Now Mondays, always made sure the meals could be done in 30 minutes or less. So one of the other things I did was a lot of times we cooked up all of our meat for the week on Sunday. So whether I was smoking a brisket or grilling some chicken or making hamburger patties up already, all of that stuff was already done on the weekend, I'd brown up hamburger meat or sausage or whatever to throw in with spaghetti later on the week. There were a lot of things that I did when I had bigger spaces of time, then I did during the week. So then all I had to do is come in warm-up some meat and put on the plate the vegetables that we needed, and if you buy fresh vegetables, I know we've been taught that cans are good. Even frozen is good. They're not there are too many preservatives in there. Fresh frozen is better than
canned, and fresh is better than frozen. I'm going to tell you that 100 times over. I know you're if you're watching on YouTube, you're looking at me going, what does she know about this? I'm just telling you, it will make a huge difference in what you're doing. But taking some green beans and pairing it with a chicken, having a salad that you can put on the plate that's already pre-made. You can do a lot of the prep work well ahead of time to where you're just throwing it all together, right. So when the kids come home from school, you're like, Yeah, but when they come home from school, they're starving and they want a snack and all that stuff. We had a basket that's set on our counter. They came in, they could get a certain drink off of a certain shelf in the refrigerator, and then they could grab one snack out of the basket on the counter. And that was all they got until dinnertime, that couldn't eat us out of house and home. That's what they got. There are nights that we had burgers where we would pack burgers in Ziploc bags and take them to the ballpark with us because
That's what we could afford to do. Yeah, we throw bags of chips or fruit or whatever with them, but it was stuff we could do. So finding a way to work with your schedule and still feed your family on a budget, because a lot of the times we're looking at things going, why can't feed my family healthfully on a budget?
hogwash, you absolutely can. The thing is, is knowing how to do that and knowing where to look for these things.
All the grocery stores sell these things in, in the organic and in a non-organic way. If you can't afford the not the organic, don't get organic, get the other ones. But find a way to find a place to start is what I'm telling you.
People are like well, I can't eat pasta. I can't eat pasta. That's great. Good zucchini. They have this little thing called a spiral. Iser you
You can buy one that fits in your hand spits on the counter, you put it through the spiral Iser, it makes these noodles you throw in the pan, they're done in five minutes, literally five minutes after the water's boiling. If you've gotten on the Insta pot craze, I made BBQ chicken the other night. I'm telling you 30 minutes frozen to cooked, completely cooked, it was all done. And that was me pulling it out of the pot ready to put it on the dish. Nice quick, easy things to keep you from going through the drive-thru.
Here's the thing. A lot of us are so stuck on instant gratification ourselves. That's what w
Hello, and welcome to Warrior DIVAS | Real Talk for Real Women. This is your host Angie Leigh Monroe. And as I like to remind you, I am your girlfriend. So, we are going to dish a little bit today, but before we get started, we want to be able to talk with you in real life in our Facebook group, and even other social media streams. Just reach out, touch base with us. I know we've got a lot of people out there that are authors and speakers that listen to our show. Maybe you're wondering how to be a guest on the show. Maybe you're wanting to submit a blog or magazine article to our beautiful new magazine, then go on to our DIVASImpact.com and put in a request there. You can submit it all online there. And then also, don't forget about our conference in October, it's going to be amazing. It's DIVASImpact.com/unmasked is where you can find out information about it.
So today, we're going to talk about staging a comeback, right? So, if you're staging a comeback, I think I heard Serena Williams say you got to go somewhere first before you can have a comeback, right? Well, Serena Williams didn't go anywhere. She just had a baby, she stayed in shape the whole time she was pregnant, stayed in shape after her pregnancy, all of that stuff, and came back and just kind of cleaned up the court with people in truth or in a true Serena fashion but how many of us feel like we have things come out of nowhere in just BLINDSIGHT us, right. Like a railroad train going down the track and out of nowhere gets wiped out by mudslide. How many of you can say that you've actually had a situation in your life where that felt like it happened? Well, I know I've talked before about 2013. But let me talk to you about 2014. 2014 I had already booked speaking engagements I had from June of 2014 on. I was setting my speaking calendar; I was making plans I was excited. My youngest one would be graduating high school. And after 20 something years of raising children, I was going to be able to do what I wanted to do, and not have to worry about other people's schedules and, and just only be yourself possible to my husband and I for my schedule. And I know there's a couple of moms out there that have given up on your dreams, and I want to challenge you today to not give up on your dreams. One of the biggest things you can do for your children is pursue your dreams with a passion, because it helps them see that they can pursue their own dreams, right. So, one of the things that I hear from women all the time is I don't have the energy to dream. Well now you don't have the energy to dream you're too busy fanning the flame of your husband's dreams, the fan of the flame of your children's dreams, and taking care of me all the snotty noses and, and carpooling and all the stuff that goes in between all of that, right. But here's the deal. We've talked about it before, we're going to talk about it again, in the future, I'm sure you've got to take care of yourself first. It's not selfish to take care of yourself first. So, 2013 was off to a good start. I had all these things booked and planned. And in the summer of 2013. For the fall, for the following summer in 2014. I was super stoked. I was writing talks right and left, I've got file drawers of talks that have never even been heard people, file drawers of them. Because I was still honing my craft, even when I didn't have a platform to speak it from. Can I get an amen on that? If I really wanted to be a speaker, and I did not have the bandwidth to go out and do it at the time, I would still write the talk that I was going to give what was important what was impression upon me at the time. And you know what, now all I have to do is go back through those drawers and clean up those talks today for where we are today. There's some lessons I've learned since I wrote that talk that now makes that talk even better. say there's something that you're wanting to do today and you're going there's no way I can do it, but there's something you can do towards it. So how do you stage a comeback; you start doing today what you can so that your comeback can be epic.
So, like I said 2013 July, end of July rolled around and I woke up to the most god awful wailing sound I had ever heard. I ran downstairs and it was my youngest daughter. She had had a few classmates that
had been killed overnight. in a car accident. These are classmates when I say their classmates, they were more than classmates. My daughter was a trainer with their high school football team, wrestling to basketball team, you name it baseball team. She was the trainer for the high school. And a lot of these guys she had grown up from elementary on with, we had had them in our home. We had car pulled them. They were special young men. And in an instant, we lost three of them in one car accident out in New Mexico. And it didn't just impact my daughter. It impacted the whole community that was around us. And it was the next day that I went and I had a conversation with my friend Carrie. And we had determined that it was time for me to step away from volunteering in this department I was volunteering at the church is just that season was ending, right? I mean, we all have seasons in our life. And it was time for this one to end. And about a week later, my oldest daughter called home from college and told us she was pregnant and about a month later, we found out it was twins, the house we had bought, owner financed, something had gone awry with the people that we bought it owner financed with and we were going to be homeless at the end of October, which happened to be the same day that my son was leaving to join the army and my fake son Ricky was leaving two weeks after him.
Let me just tell you, going from a high in July of this is what my future looks like to being at the end of October going. Where am I going? What am I doing? What does this look like? It was a total mudslide running the train off the tracks moment, right. And it was during that time that I really felt that I just need to push pause. I didn't know what the future held. But I also know that I couldn't see it well enough to make future plans. I needed to be in the moment. And that's what I'm talking about with some of you right now. Some of you right now just need to be in the moment with your family, maybe you've got little ones maybe you've got ones in junior high, in high school. And, and for me, I don't know about you. But for me, my children needed me more at home during their junior high and high school years than they ever did during their elementary and preschool years. They needed someone to be accountable to, they need to know that mom was going to be there and checking the homework and making sure they were in bed at night. And, going where they said they were going to be going and not just wandering willy nilly all over the town, right? So that that puts a damper on things when you have to be a little more hands on, and you're thinking the teenage years or when I'm going to be set free, and it's really not that way, a lot of the times you need to progress and you need to be more involved. As hard as that season was that when lasted until December of 2015 or December of 2014. So basically, July of 2013 to December of 2014 was all focused-on family. I still wrote I still had hopes I still had dreams, I just didn't have a deadline or a date to those hopes and dreams coming real. So that's my message to you today. Your comeback can still be a comeback. If you just take a step towards it, no matter what it is just a baby step towards it each and every day.
Now, a couple of years ago, I had a friend of mine who was going through a bit of this and you'll read about her story a little bit in our magazine that's coming out this month. And as she was talking, you know, several of us even in those rough times where we were those words for the year, what is our word of the year going to be for this year, you know, and you know, depending on which group of friends I was with, there were some that were all about, I chose this word and then there are some that were like God gave me this word well for. For me, I was really going okay, what is the theme for this year going to be? I really want to call word the sheer like tenacity or you know, flex or you know something about how strong and powerful I am and all that stuff. Yeah, I got the word discipline that year. Who likes the word discipline? Come on, right. But you know what it was in that year of building that discipline that led to putting things into place for where we are today. One of the other things that came about was I was truthful and honest on social media that day, said, I asked for word like tenacity and I got the word discipline. And a friend of mine said, Well, I never saw you as someone who needed to be reminded that you are tenacious. See, I was asking for something already had so wouldn't have to do the work to be disciplined out, right? What does all this have to do with having a comeback?
Well, a few years ago when my friends start going through her, her challenges, you know, she was a CEO, I think it was the CEO, CEO, CFO, she was a C level executive with a trucking firm, right, her dad ran a trucking firm when she was growing up. And she was running this trucking firm. And she handled all the finances, she handled all the management of the trackers, the equipment that was going in and out and they hauled freight to and from the oil fields. So, there was a it was a pretty big deal and large volumes of money flowing in and out. And she made over six figures a year, she had a husband that worked out in the oil fields, and he was a welder. So, he made a pretty good amount of money as well, that had a nice piece of property, over 10 acres. With a house and a barn that had an apartment that she could lease out to people or let people stay in if they needed to. I mean, it was just a good place for them to be, and she has a story. A
Episode 13 Transcribed and Edited
Hello and welcome to Warrior DIVAS | Real Talk for Real Women. I am your host; Angie Leigh Monroe and we are going to have a great show today. Not because it's going to be a great topic to talk about, but because the potential it can do for us if we just embrace this topic. So, before we get started, I just want to remind you that Warrior DIVAS is part of our DIVAS Impact organization and DIVAS Impact stands for Destined Inspired Victorious Accountable Sisters who are making an impact in the world we live in and you can find out more about us by going to DIVASImpact.com and when you go there, you can learn about our conference that's coming up in October, October 11 and 12th. You can learn about our magazine and how to subscribe to our magazine. You can submit articles for the magazine, you could submit blogs or read blogs on our website. And so much more is coming. So be sure to go to DIVASImpact.com and connect with us there. If you have any questions about the show today, if you have any input you want to give us, all of that goes through the DIVAS Impact website.
So today, we're going to talk about unlocking some stuff. We're going to talk about stronghold, have you ever heard of a stronghold? A stronghold is something that holds you strong. I mean, it's very, very easy to dictate that the stronghold is more about what a prison is, something that holds you back from being able to do more, be more, see more, right? So, if you are in a locked up and held back, then you can't accomplish and do all that you're meant to do. Right? It's like, Okay, so my mom had shoulder surgery last month, her arm is in a sling. And when her arm is in the sling, she is limited on her movement her you she can do all she wants with this left hand, but there are some things that she needed both hands for that she can't do right now because that arm is locked down. For the time being, Yes, she can take it out of her sloft and do her exercises that she has to do to work out her arm, but she is still limited. So, strongholds are things that limit you. So, what we're going to talk about today is what my pastor friends and all that call the anatomy of a stronghold. Alright, so the anatomy of a stronghold has four components.
It has the event.
So, there may be an event that happened to you, maybe it happened to your parents, but you're still dealing with it. Maybe it was a trauma you experienced, maybe it was your parents’ divorce, maybe it was your divorce, maybe it was a sexual trauma, maybe it was the loss of a job, whatever it is, it's an event that happens in your life that kind of derails you for a little bit, right? And then what happens after that is after that event, we create a lie that we believe about that event.
All right, so lots of times when I hear women come out of a divorce, they say that they are just unlovable. Well, that's a lie, because they have been loved. So therefore, they can be loved again, right? If they lose their job, they say, nobody wants them or their unemployable or something like that. Or if they've been sexually assaulted, it may be that they are just a trash receptacle. They feel like a trash receptacle; those are all things lies that people create about it. And you can either choose to believe the lie. And you may even inherit or embrace a lie that your parents believed before you, that's something that happens to and then sometimes you create other lies, and lies about others, because of the event. So, you see someone that acts in a certain way, and you automatically without knowing them without getting to know them, you automatically create a lie around them. And there's a reason you do this. And we'll talk about that here in a little bit. Or, and like we said, you believe there's nothing better for your life, because this is just the hand that you were dealt. I mean, does any of that resonate with some of you out there listening to today? Have you ever had something happened, and it just totally sent you into a mindset of, there's nothing better for me anymore? This is the best I will have ever had, the best I've ever been the rest of my life, I'm going to be less than I'm going to be subpar. I'm not going to be worth anything, I'm unlovable, I'm unemployable. Nobody wants me, nobody likes me. I mean, there's some of you out there that are big, strong, self - confident people. But you also still believe this, although you'd never let anybody else know, you believe this, but you never let anybody else know that you believe this about yourself. So, what we do when we hear, when we have those lies is we begin to build up defense mechanisms.
Now, when my son was elementary age, we noticed he was having some problems reading, he kept telling me that the words were dancing on the screen, on the pages for him. And I sat in with the counselor, the Vice Principal, his teachers, the reading teacher, and all that stuff. And they had done all these tests on him by this time, he's in third grade. He's well into his learning how to read years. And he had built up some, some coping mechanisms, let's call them coping mechanisms to help him read, he still wasn't a strong reader, he still wasn't a good reader, he was still struggling, he was still below average on reading scores. But because he had built up those coping mechanisms, when he took the test, the standardization on the test showed that he was quote, unquote, borderline.
Let me just tell you, nothing sets a mama bear off, like telling her that you can see there's a problem that their child may help but not being willing to help them. I slammed my hand right in the middle of that table. And I said, ladies, it's kind of like being pregnant. Either you are, or you aren't, this is a young man sitting in front of you begging for help. He needs help. And you're telling me because he's borderline, he probably won't qualify for it? Well, a lot of times, we come up with defense mechanisms, very similar to that, to where we can go in and out with people and act, quote unquote, somewhat normal.
But when we get pushed, or we get challenges; challenged, our defenses come up. And it may come up in something that's more like passive aggressive or even passivity, you just avoid and go away from then turn into, you may be over analyzing the situation, and trying to bring reason to something that is just not reasonable. You may be what we call a BS or that's for blame shifting, you may be blame shifting. So instead of accepting blame that you need to do or you even accept blame, that should go somewhere else. See, you just thought it was all going to be about you right see it may be that you're accepting blame, that solely belongs on the person that caused trauma to you. Or you're not accepting blame for your part in what happened to you. I know this is going to strike a nerve with some of you that you may turn into a total control freak, because you didn't have control in that one part of your life. Now you tried to control every other part of your life and all the other people that are in your life. And what happens is that runs people off.
My husband and I a few years ago had a conversation and you know, when a woman tells a man, we need to talk, the guy's eyes roll in the back of their head, and they're like, never has that term coming out of a woman's mouth ever ended well, right? Well, we had one of those talks, we started late at night and we rolled into about nine o'clock the next morning, it was just a good soul-searching gut-wrenching conversation. Even my husband will say today there was a lot more that came out of that conversation in our marriage, then in the previous 20 years of our marriage, combined. And you know, there's some things that happened to my husband's past and, and a lot of people have left him, a lot of people have taken care of themselves and just left him high and dry. And he has what I call, quote unquote, spiritual or psychological term would be abandonment syndrome. He has a fear of abandonment. All right. So, his reaction is he's going to walk away from you. He's going to cause something to cause the abandonment before you can abandon him. Right? So, he's always the one if something argument would happen, or a discussion would happen. He'd walk away first. Well, I've told you before in other podcasts, I'm a toe to toe fighter. So, I'll follow him, I don't care where he's walking through, I'll follow Him and we’ll continue it on, but he laid there on the bed that day. And even though I knew he had this fear of abandonment; it wasn't mine to call out and he laid there on the bed that day. He says, “I guess I just have a fear of abandonment”, and I'm going to tell you, I said, “well, nope ****, Sherlock. We all know that already. Let's reveal something new.” Right? Well, that's another thing. Another thing that we do whenever we get caught up in these strongholds, and we start to build our defense mechanisms is we start rejecting other people and pushing them away before they can ever have a chance to reject us. If you're if you can't stay constantly busy, because you don't want to address your own pain. And maybe you have anger issues, maybe you're self-medicating, maybe your attention seeking. Yeah. Now, another one is you may be fantasizing about what a life would be like if…now I'm going to tell on myself. When we were first married, my husband and I lived in a tiny little apartment, we had our daughter, I just had my son, and I didn't work. So, I would get up in the morning. And I do a couple of things with the kids. They get to play, and I pick up my book, and I love to read. And I would read Danielle Steele novels. I know this, I'm giving you some real insight. I don't read them anymore. But for a longest time, when I was growing up, I read the Little House on the Prairie series, I read the Nancy Drew series, I read Sweet Valley High. I read you name it, I read series of books. So, Danielle steele
Angie:
Hello and welcome to Warrior DIVAS Real Talk for Real Women. This is your host Angie Leigh Monroe reminding you each and every day to be a DIVA and make an impact. For those of you that are new to our show, DIVAS stands for women that are Destined, Inspired, Victorious, Accountable and building a Sisterhood, and make a positive impact in the world we live in. And we are so excited today because we are launching a new part of our podcast. We've been doing our podcast, little snippets, 30 minutes snippets with just me on doing teaching topics, and we have got our first guest in the studio today. But before I get started, I want to remind you, we have our DIVAS Impact magazine, we have the conference, it's on the back of the magazine, coming up soon. And you can find out all about that at DIVASImpact.com, but today I want to give you a little bit of introduction into Trasa Cobern.
She is a local gal here in the Dallas Fort Worth area. But I've known about her, known of her, more through her husband than anything else over the last few years. met, I met her I think in 2011 2012, somewhere around there, when she was student teaching my son at the local high school, which I'm an alumni of bout to have our class reunion. And I started just being intrigued by her, the kids love her. That's one thing if somebody if kids love you, that's one thing. But the other part of it too is she's got such a passion for our troops. She's got a passion for our country, she's got a passion for her community. And when I talked to people on DIVAS, they often asked me about what can they get involved in? How can they make a difference? How can they make an impact? and I often tell them politics. Getting to know what's going on in your local community all the way up to the presidency and knowing how to have those conversations and so I've watched her, I don't just put anybody on the show. I don't just introduce people I know anybody to all of you watch her and see what she does. And so when she's not in school, she's been traveling quite a bit. And she's been doing some learning herself and educating herself, improving herself. She's run for city council. She's run for a couple of other positions as well. She serves on the committee here in the Tarrant County for politics. And so when we are talking today, if you're wanting to know how to get involved, this is the woman that can tell you about how to get involved.
But my biggest reason for wanting her to go on is she has done everything with grace, she has done everything with talent, with dignity, and a smile on her face. So, this is all about to kick off in a big way. And I want you to welcome with me, Trasa Coburn,
Trasa:
Thank you, Angie, I am so honored and so touched by all of that, that was just really awesome. I'm gonna I'm gonna, like, take that clip of that podcast and like, you know, keep it on my own personal media so, I can have that if I'm having a bad day. So thank you so much. I am so pleased to be here. Your company, what you guys do with DIVAS impact is exactly what I think is wonderful. For women. I just I'm a huge I was just talking to my son yesterday about how I don't consider myself a feminist I would consider myself maybe a womanist that I think women are so important to our society. And what's good for society is good for women. And what's good for women is good for society. And so what you do is just fantastic.
Angie:
Thank you so much. Thank you, we tell people all the time, we steer away from the feminist word, because it's gotten such a negative impact. It's part of the reason why we steered towards divas impact is because when you think of a diva, you think of somebody that's, you know all about themselves and all of that. But we want to shift that paradigm, we want to do the same with the feminist movement, we want to help women embrace their femininity and realize how strong and powerful they are within their femininity and not have to be something that they're not.
Trasa:
Absolutely I was telling my husband, we were coming out of church yesterday, and there was a little girl who had on the little Bobby socks to have the lace trim. And I was telling my husband, I said, you know, when I was a kid, I used to, my mom used to put me in those, I was the firstborn child in the first granddaughter on both sides. And she used to put me in those socks, and I would cut the lace off the socks because I thought that it was so girly and I didn't want to be girly, I wanted to be strong, and I wanted to be you know, independent, and all of these things. And over time, I've learned that, you know, femininity is just another part of who I am. And it's just, you know, filtered into that strength and that, you know, independence. And so, you know, I love to wear dresses, and I love to be you know, girly now, whereas, you know, when I was six, five and six, I didn't like that image at all. So, you know, but we mature and we learn things about ourselves. And so that's I think that's just a wonderful thing to use that femininity and know that we can be strong and feminine. Both.
Exactly. So you grew up, you grew up in a couple of different countries. you've traveled around, you've made your way to Texas, of course, you know, we're Texan. So, we love Texas. This is. Absolutely. So, tell us a little bit about things that may be from your youth that kind of you see now led you to where you are today.
Oh gosh, I think faith is so important to me and God has led me along my life has prepared me in each step for the step that's coming up. And so sometimes you we don't always see that. And we don't always know where he's leading us. But you know, you'll get 10 years down the road, you're like, oh man, if I hadn't had that experience, like I wouldn't be prepared for this. And I, I was lucky enough to grow up with a dad who was in the military. My dad was a sergeant in the army and we were stationed overseas in Germany three different times. And I was actually born in Germany, spent early elementary there. And then the third time we were there was from the time I was in sixth grade until I graduated from high school and I graduated at a at an American High School overseas. And, and I tell my kids, I teach American history. And so, on the first day of school, I always do a little intro about me and I and I tell the kids I say you know, I'm super passionate about America, America is the best country on the earth. And I can say that with full confidence because I've been to so many other places. And you know, Germany is a wonderful place. I love to go visit there anytime I have the chance to it's a beautiful country. But I would never live in Germany, I would never choose to live there. And I had the choice. You know, when I was 18, I had dual citizenship. And so I had the choice. And I could have stayed and gone to college in Germany. But I came back to college in America and Texas, actually, you know, Texas A&M, took a risk on me and gave me a scholarship there. And that's how I ended up in this state that I'd never lived in before and didn't know anybody. And so took that leap of faith and said, okay, God, I trust you, you know, I'm going to go to this place. And I don't know how I'm gonna like it. And you know, wonderful, wonderful decision turned out great. A&M is a wonderful place and met my husband there. I fell in love with, I fell in love with Texas before I fell in love with my husband, like I was already determined, you know that I was going to stay here and then met my husband. And so that's how we ended up in the Dallas Fort Worth area. He's a Hurst boy. And so yeah, we ended up in Hurst and you know, I've planted my roots deep here.
Angie:
So, so whenever you left and came back to the state sudden came to Texas and all that stuff, do you feel that being in the military, as a military dependent, really kind of helped you be able to move in and not… Yes, it's scary. I'm not gonna say it's not scary, but gave you a little more freedom. Because sometimes we get a little too sheltered,
Trasa:
right. And I think it's human nature to like where we are to be comfortable in our little circles. But being a military brat has really just benefited me in so many ways. I used to be very introverted, I used to be very concerned about, you know, what people like me when, you know, how would I project myself, and being in the military, having that atmosphere where people were constantly moving in and out of my life, gave me much more freedom to understand that, you know, like, like, I'm going to be who I am. And then the people around me may shift, the environment may shift, but I'm who I am in me. And so absolutely, when I moved to Texas, you know, I was I was scared, I was a little worried. But I knew that God had me and that it was going to be a good situation. And that, if not, we would move to something else. Right.
Angie:
So. So I mentioned that you were a city council member for the city of Hurst. And you started, I don't know, when you started getting into politics?
Trasa:
Um, so I have four boys, and I have a degree in political science. That's what I majored in, in college. So, I've always been interested in politics and government and those things. But when we moved here, we had the boys and so I was Mom, you know, I was full time mom. And I didn't do a lot outside of the house, I did PTA and that kind of thing with their schools. But I was really focused on my son's, I started about 2013, I started being, you know, kind of looking a little bit outside, that's after I'd started teaching full time. And my kids at school challenged me one time and said, Well, what do you do other than vote? Like you talk about being involved in the political process? What do you do? You know, exactly, they have no filter, and they'll and they'll challenge you. And so, I was like, Oh, well, let me I need to be involved, I need to do more. And I really love where we live. And so, I had, and I
Hello, and Welcome to Warrior DIVAS | Real Talk for Real Women. This is your host Angie Leigh Monroe and I am excited to be sharing the airwaves with you today. So, thank you for tuning in and as always, as we talked throughout the show will drop some things in the description and in the comments on the different platforms about the things that we've talked, about the websites, but the main website you can go to is DIVASImpact.com. That's our website that you can learn about our magazine, you can learn about our Facebook groups, you can find out more about coming to our conference on October 11 and 12th of this year in Grapevine, Texas. It's going to be a great time of really embracing what our identity is and who we are called to be and what dynamic women we are surrounded by. So, I'm super stoked for that. But before we get started, I just want to thank you. Thank you for tuning in. Thank you for subscribing, thank you for commenting and sending us messages. It means the world to us. And I cannot express to you in words, how much I appreciate it. So again, thank you so much and I look forward to doing this for a long, long time with each of you out there.
So, this week, we're going to talk about a pure heart, what is a pure heart? Have you ever looked at your Facebook status and the prompt and it says, What's on your mind? You know, I did this the other day and I put up you know what's on your mind and I got tickled because I put up, you know, a whole bunch of things that were just randomly popping into my head while I was looking at Facebook at that moment, you know, and somebody else just started laughing. They're like, yeah, we had some of these same things pop into our head to you know? That's a loaded question. Whenever you ask somebody, what's on your mind, you know, and for me, it just, it got me thinking, all right, a lot of the things I'm thinking of are very superficial. They are not something that are empowering to other people. They're not something that's even really empowering to me. So, like when that face when I saw that post the other day. I said I don't think anyone really wants to know the answer.
So, here's just a rapid fire several things that went across my mind in the last few minutes. How old is Stephen Ty? Ty? Does he still do drugs? Is there a Smith still putting on concert? How old is too old to be doing rock concerts? Why did Mike change the channel? Why are we watching Chernobyl the music just makes me want to go to sleep? Is it too early to go to bed? Why did that guy in the plumbing group get underneath my skin? What time did I set the nest to start dropping the temperature? I'm hot. Why am I having a hot flash? Why is my phone buzzing without? Look updates? What time does john wick three show tomorrow? Seriously, why am I so hot right now? Why am I irritated by seeing a certain person's profile pop up after hiding it for months from everyone? I am totally lost watching Chernobyl and Mike isn't even watching it and we were both ignoring the TV. I wish I wasn't. I was watching madam secretary instead. What time is it now? Is it time to go to bed yet? I wonder if Steven Tyler has extra teeth like Freddie Mercury. Holy Heck, it's hot in here. AC is working. But my body thermostat is not. It must be time for my pellet. I may have just gone to bed before I say or do something stupid and mean. Anybody else have a rapid fire like that anytime recently, or am I just the only crazy one? I know I'm not the only crazy one because I actually had people responding going, yes, this is me. This is me. This is me. Right? But you know, there was not one thought in them about prayer about living a good life. It was all just random, daily crap, it wasn't about loving my family. It wasn't about loving myself, it wasn't about bettering myself, Well, maybe getting the pellet so that I wouldn't kill or lash out at anybody in my family was part of the healthy part, but there was not really anything in there that was of any substantial value.
So here recently, I've had a thought that's kind of been rolling through my head and I've been writing about it journaling about it and reading about it and doing my quiet time around it and things like that and so many of you know, I grew up in church and I heard this, I heard the phrase “pure of heart” all the time as I was growing up. And I would get words of encouragement from people that would say, you know, you have a pure heart, you have a pure heart, or, you know, walk your life in a pure of heart. And the funny thing was when I got those words, as normally at my life, a time in my life that I just didn't feel very pure at heart. I mean, really, I just felt like I was Jackie, there was some bad stuff going on in my life. Maybe because it was happening to me, or maybe because I brought it on myself because of my own choices. But there's just some, some yuck that was going on and even more confusing was that I didn't know how to decipher them. I didn't know what a pure heart meant. So, I want to talk a little bit about gold, because we're talking about our divas, our divas are the most precious things out there. They are women of destiny, and purpose, they are women that are inspiring and influencing others, they are women who have been through the suck of life and walked out victorious, they are helping each other stay accountable, and they are building this sisterhood and they are pure treasure.
And just like gold is a pure treasure. One of the things that I started realizing when I started looking at pure of heart is what is a purification process for things and the gold one, of course stuck. Because who doesn't like gold? I mean, come on, it holds diamonds quite nicely, right? So, as I started looking at the gold, I've realized that gold and silver are normally extracted from the same or so there has to be not only an extraction of the gold and the silver, there has to be a parting of the two. Have you ever been in a relationship? That is, I think what the word I'm looking for is a meshed, there's so much of you in them and so much of them and you but the relationship itself is toxic. And you know, it needs to separate whether it's a work relationship, a personal relationship, a church relationship, you know, things have to change, and they have to be pulled apart. But the messiness of pulling those apart, is going to be rough, right. So that's kind of what happens with golden silver whenever they pull the two apart. And the separating is the hardest part. It is not the hardest part, sorry, the separating is not even the hardest part, the purifying words, it's now there's a couple of different methods that they use for purifying gold, but the most effective one is called the Wohlwill process W.O.H.L.W.I.L.L. process and this process brings them it brings the goal to a 99.9999% purity rate. But it's an electro chemical process. And this electro chemical process just doesn't sound pleasant to begin with in the first place. Now some of us women that go and get the chemical pills and do all that stuff. You're like, Oh, that's nothing right? Well, this is using a nasty caloric acid. That's, I mean, eat through stuff, right. And they take the anode, and they put it into the chemical and once they put that in the chemical, they put an electric rod into the chemical, which sends an electric current through that chemical. And it pulls all the metals that aren't gold away and dissolves them. Everything that is not gold dissolves.
Now I want to talk to you for just a second. About what is it in your life that needs to be pulled away and dissolved? For me, probably TV, I'll admit that I have it running constantly, whether I'm watching it or not, I have it on just because I like the noise in the house. Fast food places, they need to dissolve from my site right now. They just do. It's not healthy for me, there too easily accessed. I love Coca Cola, but Coca Cola could dissolve, that would be great for me. But what happens in there is when that other metal dissolves, the gold attaches to this rod, and then this rod is pulled out. And it is then taken and melted, this cathode is then taken and melted and put into whatever shape form or whatever it's needed for use or sell and it's a great, great value. Now see what went into the acid and the electromagnet electro chemical process was a mixture of things and it wasn't a pure mixture of things is a mixture of outside influences is a mixture of nature and nurture in a bunch of things that have just come into its space, but then in that chemical process, all that was stripped away and left the gold to itself.
So, let's do some comparisons here. The acid is for you to be real with yourself. Now, I'm not telling anybody to go out there and throw acid on themselves, please, this is one of those why they have signs on the hair dryers not to dry your hair while in the bathtub type moments, do not go out and get any of this acid and start putting yourself in an acid wash by any means. That's not what we're saying. What I'm saying is, the acid is the same process, the aesthetic process and gold purification is the same process that to walk through in life. You can be in the acid and nothing changes, you can say I need a change. So, I'm going to go on a diet, I need the change. So, I'm not going to watch TV, I need a change. So, I'm going to move from one city to another, I need a change, because I'm going to change from one job to another. But until the electro electric probe is attached to that, that acid, nothing changes with the gold. Because there's an activation at that point, it activates all the other metals to do something. So being in the asset is rough at times when you're having to move when you're having to break off relationships when you're having to do all this stuff, but if you're not fixing the things inside of you, which is what that electronic bar does, when it goes into the chemicals. If you're not asking for
Hello, and Welcome to Warrior DIVAS | Real Talk for Real Women. I am your host, Angie Leigh Monroe, and yes, I said real talk for women. Yes, because you too can be a professional podcaster if you mess up your opening act. So again, let's try that; this is Angie Leigh Monroe, your host of real talk for real women. All right, we're going to have a great show today, and we're going to jump in and just a few minutes. But before we begin, I want to remind you, if you go to our DIVASImpact.com site, you can find out more about our conference coming up October 11th and 12th in Grapevine, Texas, you can buy your tickets there, learn about the speakers there, all of that fun stuff on that page. You can also listen to our podcast, watch it on YouTube, you can read our magazine, all of that is online there. And there's also great ways to partner with us. We are always looking for ways to partner with our show with our organization, and promote you as well as on the way up because when one boat rises, we all rise with the shifting of the tides, right?
So today, I'm going to talk about some stuff I don't like talking about. I'm going to be a little transparent with you. I'm going to be real raw with y'all; and don't you love my Texas accent that y'all part and raw has like four syllables in it. But this is where we're going to get to because I've got to have some truth to myself and have you ever been talking to somebody and as you're talking to them, they're going, I'm telling you this stuff because I need to hear it too. Because we both know it in our mind, but we haven't absorbed it with our heart yet. We haven't grabbed full throttle reign of what it is that's bothering us, what it is, that's giving us a hard time and this past weekend, I was at an event and I had an issue with something that had just happened. And I didn't even realize why I had the issue with what it just happened. It just started bothering me for some reason. I had my hand up most of the time through a session, asking waiting for my question to be asked, and everybody around me was getting picked. And they kept telling me they'd come back to me and they just never did and then the session ended. And I still didn't have my question answered. Normally that's just goes; water off a duck's back, doesn't bother me, doesn't split a hair with me. It's not a problem at all, but as I was raising a hand and not getting called, there was more and more frustration building. I was feeling overlooked. I was feeling unseen. I was feeling invisible, right? And there's a great book out by Nicole Johnson called The Invisible Woman. And if you've ever felt invisible in your life, I encourage you to go and read that book, and come back and comment and tell me what you think of it. It's a very short read, but it's a very powerful read. And so, as the session ended, I turned to my friend next to me. And I said, Well, maybe you can answer my question and she goes, sure, and she was very pleasant, very kind. As I started speaking, I got choked up, I was emotional, I had tears in my eyes; part of it was being mad, part of it was being frustrated and part of it, I just didn't understand what it was. And it all centered around being overlooked. How many of us have been overlooked? I have been overlooked a good part of my life, not necessarily because people intended to overlook me, but because I kept putting myself in situations to be overlooked. I would serve behind the scenes and I would want to be in the shadows serving instead of on the main stage. Even though in my heart of hearts, I wanted to be center stage and talking and sharing and empowering people like I am today. I was more comfortable in the shadows, because of some past rejection I'd had.
Now I'm telling you this because the more I stuffed the desire to be in front of the stage down and the more I hid in the shadows, there's some other things that I'm starting to develop. I started losing my self-worth, I started losing the way I saw myself as someone that was worthy of the spotlight. I mean, when we see people standing in front of a camera and stuff like that we normally see, you know, fit fashion forward, stylish, you know, not necessarily skinny, but you know, a good toned body. Unless you're thinking Oprah. I mean, Oprah had her ups and downs, but, you know, here's where we're at, we just see more people like the Kelly ripples and the Ellen's and, and people like that that are in shape in front of the camera and not as I used to call myself the blob, right? Well, the blog came from not trusting and believing that I was worthy enough to be seen.
So, I'm going to talk to you today, we're going to have a girlfriend talk. Remember, my name is Angie Leigh Monroe, and I'm your girlfriend. The girlfriend talk we're going to have today is about being fit beyond fitness. A lot of times when we're talking about getting fit and moving forward and things like that we're talking about the proper diet, the exercise, taking the right supplements, all of that stuff to get into shape, but before we can start doing that, we have to start looking on the inside. What helped us get to this situation in the first place. You know, I used to be one of those girls that could eat in the thing. I mean anything and still be underweight, totally underweight, I have been a size eight, I have been a size six, I have been all those sizes. I've been severely underweight not for lack of trying to gain weight. This matter of fact, when I joined the military, I had to put on seven pounds in a week to be able to go to boot camp, because I was underweight. But then life happened and while I dealt with some of the things, I did not deal with all of the things. And so, have you ever looked at an onion, and an onion has all these layers, and as you cut into the onion, you can see all the layers? But when life happens, think about it, that ending grows from that small little thing on the inside, and it keeps growing and adding layers as it grows, well, so does your discomfort with yourself. And you don't even know where that has come from until you're further down the road.
So, a few years ago, I went and I set with a friend of mine and I said I need I need some help peeling back the layers of this onion, and we sat there and we dealt with a lot of things. And then I added counseling into that and, and we peel back many layers, but I never quite dealt with the layer of stuff that kind of made me as I call myself. FAT. I'm not saying that in the negative and derogatory term. I'm saying that in a realistic, if you look at the medical records and things like that, I am declared morbidly obese. All right. I'm working on it, it's coming off. But I am declared morbidly obese. It's a fact, it's not something to be proud of, but it is what it is. So, as we're dealing with this, as we start looking at it, I'm having to look at what caused me to eat my feelings, because I was craving something that I felt unattainable. What happens when we go on a diet, we go on a diet, and all of a sudden, the only thing we can think of is all the foods we can't have, right? So, you know, we were laughing around the house this weekend, because we were going places and doing things and we were narrow bikinis and my husband wanted to grab a barbecue sandwich and my daughter's like, nope, mom can't have anything from here, let's go somewhere else where she can have something to eat, but not realizing it, my daughter that we could brought him pizza twice and donuts once to the house, not as a bad thing. She was feeding the twins; she was doing her own thing. But those are the things that I could have gone all day long without having any of those things, she even ordered the pizzas I don't really care for. But I could have gone that whole time without wanting any of those things until I was on the diet and when I was on the diet, it was all I could think of. So, then there's a disgruntled this and there's a yuck and you start satisfying any way you possibly can. For me that was verging on TV that was just being left busy. That was finding a way to be busy with other people's things, instead of doing the things that I knew I diligently need to be doing for my own health and wellness and I just wasn't focused on myself. There's a lot on my plate.
We talked about this all the time, so many women have a lot on their plate, your plate doesn't look like mine and mine doesn't look like the next person. But we all have things that we put on our plate every day but the thing that we forget to put on there a lot of the times is how to take care of ourselves. We've talked about it before, we'll talk about it again. But how can we look and see how to be a whole well-rounded woman, if we're not going to look at the rough parts of our life. I did a I started our Daily DIVAS Devotional here recently, and we are we just finished up the Beatitudes and the Beatitudes are found in the New Testament of the Bible called Matthew chapter five. And it's the sermon on the mount that Jesus is going and giving to the people. And as I read through the Beatitudes, there's different things they're talking about the poor in spirit, the people who mourn the people who are make those that hunger and thirst for righteousness, those that are merciful, pure of heart, the peacemakers, and those who are persecuted because of righteousness, right? So, in talking about all of those things, he is saying those people will be blessed. Well, as I read this, I saw it more of a guideline on how to live your life. Nowhere in there Did it say; be resentful of the places that you've not been called to or be resentful to the places you don't have access to. Nowhere in there does it say if you get your way all the time, you are blessed. Nowhere in there. So, as I was writing out Beatitudes, the last few times, I started writing out beauty attitude. So being fit beyond fitness, for me is talking about living a life inside that
Hello, and Welcome to Warrior DIVAS | Real Talk for Real Women. I am your host Angie Leigh Monroe, and we are going to have a great show today. So, buckle up and let's get ready, we may be talking about some bumpy things that you may not like, but we are going to have fun while doing it. I guarantee that. So, before we get started, I want to just remind you that we have our DIVAS Impact magazine out, we have our UnMasked Conference coming soon, you can find all the information at DIVASImpact.com, and the conference is October 11 and 12th in Grapevine, Texas. We're going to be talking about some things that women hide behind, and how to step out from behind the mask, so to speak, and really just empower and activate you and a bunch of different ways that we can and you're going to make great friends while you're there. So, come on out October 11 and 12th. Make plans now, early bird pricing is going to be going up soon to regular price soon. So be able to get your tickets now.
And now on to the show. Now, I'm talking a little bit business stuff today because I had some women going you know, the inspiration is great, but I want some practical steps of how I can get from where I'm at to where I want to go. And I get it, I totally get it. And that's why I love this show. We want to focus on all sorts of things that apply to women, whether it's your faith, your fitness, your finance, and no I'm not the one to talk to you about your fitness stuff, we will bring people in to do that, but your finances again, not the person to talk to you about that, we will bring somebody in to talk about that. But all sorts of food and all sorts of other things that you want to talk about we’ll bring people in, we will have conversations, we will encourage, inspire, empower you in a lot of different areas. But one of the things that I am good talking about is, talking to you about how to set yourself up for success, right? There's a lot of friends out there that come up to me, they're like, you're just always so busy, and you're always doing so many amazing things. I just don't have the energy to do it. Well, I got news for you. I don't either. I am exhausted a lot of the times, but I have to book in my rest. I don't book my work around my rest; I booked my rest around my work. So, I get things done, because I know the timeframe in which I have to get them done. A lot of people right now we're like, well, you're always so busy. Well, yes, I am always busy. I had to align my life with the way things would flow for our family. So today we're going to talk about the three things that really can just get you set apart and help you launch, and it's align, activate, and calibrate. So, who are you aligned with?
You know, so here's, here's the thing about alignment. Have you ever had your back out of alignment, and you just couldn't get comfortable, maybe it popped a rib out or, or something like that, and you were just hurting all the time? It's miserable, right? Well, the same thing goes if you have a bad working relationship, a bad family relationship, a bad friendship, a friendship going bad, any of that stuff. If something gets out of alignment, it causes a friction and it causes a pain and it causes you to actually walk your life differently, right? So, if your, if your alignment is off, that means one of your shoulders is up higher than the other, maybe your hip is up higher than the other and the way you walk is different. So that's why we're starting off with alignment and who are you aligned with? First thing you need to know is, what is it that your goals and your purpose for your life are? Because if you can identify that, then you can identify the right people for you to be aligned with in different areas of your life. So for business aspect, right, whenever I started launching DIVAS Impact years ago and started thinking about it, I aligned myself with some people that built their businesses online, because a big portion of what we were going to be doing was going to be online. So, I aligned myself with those people so that I could learn from them because they were going places and they had been places that I wanted to go. So, finding that right place and that way I didn't have to reinvent the wheel. Okay, maybe for some of you out there, that's me, you need to align more with me, let me coach you through some of these things. Maybe you need to look at your life and your life ebb & flow, not balance, but your work life, ebb & flow as to what that looks like, maybe you need my friend Misty, to help you with that, she's an excellent life coach for that. But all these things that we are looking at and doing, we need to really know who it is we are and who we are called to be first.
So, aligning yourself with your core, it's going to be hard at times, because sometimes people aren't going to like what your core is about. When I start saying, I'm talking about women's empowerment, let me just tell you the eyes that roll. It's hilarious, especially from the men, until I remind them that they're married to a woman, maybe they're raising a daughter, they have a sister, they were born of a woman or met a woman, you know, so they start to realize, ‘Hey, I'm surrounded by a lot of women, you know, I may need to pay attention to some of this stuff.’ Who are you aligning yourself with? If you've got toxic people in your life, it's time to clean them out, do a cleanse, whether it's on Facebook, whether it's in real life, whatever it is, do a cleanse. I'm in the middle of doing a Facebook cleanse right now, I used to be all caught up in Oh, I need all the friends in the world and now I'm like, I could care less, as long as the friends in my world are impacting me positively. I don't want you on my friends list, you can be on my business page. Yep, I said it. Because that's my inner circle. That's the ones that are close to me and get to share life with me and if I don't know you personally, you're probably not going to make it on my, on my fan page, on my friends page, my friends list, whatever that's called on Fakebook, you know, the one I'm talking about? And you're definitely not going to make it on Snapchat, whatever that's called, or, you know, what is the instant Insta Look at me thing, the Instagram thing? Yeah, we've got that too. But I don't even have a personal page on Instagram, because there are too many creepo’s on Instagram.
So, I chose to align myself in the areas for my business one way for my personal life a different way. Another thing is, is when I wanted to learn more of the Bible and stuff like that, I went to the specific teachers that were teaching about what I was wanting to learn and were well versed in it. My pastor at the church, he teaches a great teaching on living a blessed life and all that stuff, but I wanted to learn more about the Jewish customs and stuff. So I went to a different church that spoke and taught more specifically on that because he had some of the knowledge that I wanted to obtain to be able to understand the word at a deeper level, it's finding the right people to align with.
Now, some of you out there going well, I don't have toxic people in my life. Well, you might want to look in the mirror and make sure that you're not the toxic person in other people's lives, and I'm sorry to have to say that but it needs to be said, I've had to look in the mirror and realize that I was the toxic person in people's life. Because I was not happy with myself or who I was dealing with or talking with, or I just didn't like myself period. So, I had to do some internal work on my own, but this alignment is so important because it's a key fundamental for you being able to grow. If you're aligned properly, like a say in the chiropractic thing, then your hips meet at the same place, then your feet are more grounded, you're less likely to tipple or topple over and fall and your balance is more in tune. Right? So, the alignment is important, because when you're wanting to launch; have you ever looked at a diving board and stood at the end of a diving board and dove using just your right foot as the main power or your left that is the main power, as opposed to using both your feet as the main power? It has a difference in how you come off the board, you're either going to go right if you're using your right leg and go left if you're using your left leg, but if you hit from both feet on the end of the board, and launch simultaneously with both feet, you're going to go straight down the center of that pole. It's all about how you're wanting to move forward. So, let's make sure you're aligned properly.
A lot of times when people get mad in the news for making a horrific mistake, and you often wonder where that little bend was for them in their character, or their personality, or who their friends were that allowed them to make that bend. I've had to look back on my life at times and do some self-introspect to just figure out what that was. But what we really need to focus on is ourselves, not what everybody else is bringing, but who we are, what we were called to be, and what our moral compass is. So, the reason that's important for when you go to activate is you now know where you're going. You now have a vision and a plan. You've seen it before you know where you're wanting to go and you launch towards it like an outfielder and baseball player diving for that ball that hit to the center field, right? He takes that dive; he catches that ball and he's super excited because he's launched for it. He's left for it, right? Well, that's what activating does. Activating helps you. So, start to step towards those hoping for those dreams and the goals you have for yourself.
Now, in 2009, when we started DIVAS Impact, I didn't really have the big vision of where we are today. I just had little pieces of I knew I wanted to impact women's lives for positive. That's all I knew. All I could do at that time was to step forward with s
Hello and Welcome to Warrior DIVAS | Real Talk for Real Women. This is your host Angie Leigh Monroe and I am ecstatic to get started today. We are going to be talking about one of my favorite historical women today just because she has taught me so much throughout my life. So, before we get started, I do want to remind you that we have our UnMasked Conference coming up in October, October 11 and 12th. In Grapevine Texas, you can go to DIVASImpact.com/unmasked and find out more details there. As we start putting all the information and getting us ready to go for this conference. We are putting together a phenomenal lineup of amazing women to come and speak at that event. We're going to have special booths for you to be able to come in and be a guest on a podcast, or maybe do a quick video blurbs and photo shoots. We're going to have just a ton of ways to not only just encourage and inspire you but to help activate you as well. So, we look forward to having you join us October 11 and 12th in Grapevine Texas, at the Divas Impact | UnMasked Conference, and then if you have not seen it yet, we have just recently released our DIVAS Impact magazine. So, it is live online with subscription options if you want the print edition as well. We are just burnin’ and turnin’ right now with in the DIVAS Impact world and super stoked about all the things that we've got coming up over the next few weeks.
So, I think told you about my girlfriend, Abigail, right? Abigail is a historical person, you find her in First Samuel 25 of the Bible. The reason I'm referring to Abigail is because Abigail is the girl that helped me find my voice again, help me find my purpose again. If you don't know the story of Abigail, I'm going to paraphrase it and give it kind of the diva version of it today. You know, a friend of mine, Michael Jr, who's a comedian, he does the whole homeboy version of reading the Bible. I do the diva version of reading the Bible. So, one of the things that I loved about Abigail is she is a woman who is married to a not very nice, man, all right? Now, I know that I've got a lot of girlfriends out there that are, are struggling in their marriages. Maybe their husband is verbally or emotionally abusive. Hopefully he's not physically abusive, and you're still in the relationship, but even so, Abigail was married to a man named Nebal. All right, and Nebal was a foolish man, he was just a downright mean, ugly, and liked to party and drink all the time. Any my girlfriend's out there can relate to that having a husband like that, never grew up type personality, right. So, he just was very harsh and rude, and his dealings, never really was fair, even though he'd been given a lot of grace and a lot of blessings in his life. He didn't feel the need to pass on or pay forward those blessings at all right?
So in walks, David - now, I use this story because a lot of my girlfriends are like, “man, I have a prayer that if I could just get out of this bad marriage, there's a true man, a king, a somebody waiting to ride up on this white horse and whisk me off my feet”, you know, just like the Disney fairy tales, right? But I started calling this the Abigail prayer, like the prayer of Jabez in the Bible, they have the prayer of Abigail, “Lord, if you would just smite my husband down and bring me a king and his presence”, right? Well, that's a little bit about what I'm going to talk about today, and I hope you have a sense of humor and are going to join me in this thing. But I'm going to challenge you that the prayer of Abigail never turns out the way you want it to turn out. So, hold on to your seats, we're going to get in this pretty deep, pretty fast. So, there's this guy named David. Anybody heard of David in the Bible? He kind of wrote the song Psalms, he's kind of known for being a little foolish himself at times, but he was a musician. He had God's heart; he even sent a guy to be killed so he can marry his wife. He had some good days, he had some bad days, let's just be real with it. But the thing about David was, he was a ferocious fighter and he was an honorable man for most parts. He had been protecting the land that Nebal had for many years and kept all of his sheep and his men safe and all of that stuff. So, now they're out there wandering and David and his men are starting to get a little hungry, right? So they send word to Nebal, send some messengers to Nebal, that says, “Hey, dude, you know, while we've been camped out here, you know, your lands not been taken over by the enemy, you know, you've had great protection for your crops, your sheep, all of that stuff. So hey, could you do us a solid and send us over some food to feed us because we're, we're hungry here.” And Nebal just kind of got rude. You know? He said, “uh, who's this David guy? I don't know who he is. Nobody's protected me but me. I didn't need him. I don't need to send him food. I don't need to do any of that stuff.” So, when the messengers took that word back to David, David threw a fit. He had anger in his mind. He had anger in his heart, and he was ready to just annihilate everybody on Nebal's property, right? So, what had happened? I know I've talked about Nebal and David, what had happened was one of the messengers that got word from one of the guys that gotten word from the messengers, went to Abigail, Nebal’s wife, and said, “Ma'am, you know, these guys have really protected us, they've been kind to us, they've kept us safe when war was so close, and our master has just basically hurled insults at them and turned a blind eye to them, slammed the door in their face, so to speak. And I fear that going up against a man, the strongest, David is going to lead to all of our demise by morning. We will all be dead by morning.”
So Abigail - these are the things that I love about Abigail says, Abigail went to her pantry. Now, all of us have a little pantry in our house, it may be a closet, it may be a shelf, it may be something but we have a place where we keep things that we've got ready to make a meal at any time. But what I love about this is it says she took 200 loaves of bread, two skins of wine, five dress sheep’s, five sheaths of roasted grain, 100 cakes of raisins, 200 cakes of pressed figs and loaded them onto donkeys. Okay, so this woman had been having or had been preparing or had been having prepared for a while, these things that she loaded onto this donkey. She went out and she pulled out of a store place thing that she'd been preparing for a long time.
So today, I want to ask you and challenge you on something, what is it that you've been working towards or hoping towards and storing away for a long time? Maybe you've been writing in a journal, maybe you've been writing, writing a blog that's never been published, maybe you've been writing a screen written play that's never seen the light of day or a novel. Maybe you've been making little things at home for yourself that you enjoy, but all of your friends’ compliment on you, but you've never sold them or given them away to anybody else. Maybe you've been studying everything there is about anatomy and, all that stuff but never gone and taken the classes to be a nurse. There's something in your pantry, something in your life that you've kind of been pulling aside and setting aside for that rainy day, and I want you to be challenged with. That rainy day is here. It is time for you to start pulling those things out of your pantry. Now one of the other things that Abigail did is she loaded those onto the donkey, and she rode out to meet David. Now, David, David again, he was upset. But when he saw Abigail - Abigail quickly got off her donkey. She bowed down to David with her face to the ground, falling at his feet, and then she gave the longest recorded speech by a woman in the Bible. Now how many of y'all have sat there and heard that women in the church cannot speak, they're not to be heard, all that stuff? Yes, that's over in the New Testament on that. But this woman is standing before the future king of Israel, and throwing herself at his mercy in speaking on behalf of her husband and all his land, right? She had a voice and she was empowered to use it at a certain time. And she says “pardon your servant, my lord. And let me speak to you, hear what your servant has to say,” She's letting him know that she's submitting to him and his power in his strength. “Please pay no attention, my Lord to what that wicked man named Nebal, he is just like his name. His name means fool and folly goes with him.” So, she dished on her husband, she got a little jab in there we all do it from time to time, right? “And as for me, your servant, I did not see the men My Lord sent and now my lord is surely as your God lives. And as you live, since the Lord has kept you from bloodshed and from avenging yourself with your own hands, may your enemies and all who are intent on harming My Lord be like Nebal, and let this gift which your servant has brought to my Lord, be given to the men who follow you.” So, she gave everything off her donkey to David to feed his men, and to really just stand strong, to let David know that she was she was on his side and she meant no harm or no foul to him. But the other thing that I like the next part of this the whole like it says, “please forgive your servants presumption. The LORD your God will certainly make a lasting dynasty for my Lord”, when she says My Lord, she's talking about David, “because you fight the Lord's battle and no wrongdoing will be found in you as long as you live, even though someone that is pursuing you to take your life, the life of the Lord will be bound securely in the bundle of the living God but the lives of your enemies, he will be hurled away as from the pocket of a sling.” Hmm, remember David, “Use this sling before and when the Lord is fulfilled for my Lord, everything he promised concerning him is appointed him ruler over Israel, my Lord will not have one th
Ep 8 | What Threatens Your Peace
Howdy and welcome to warrior divas real talk with real women. This is your host Angie Lehman row. And we are going to have a great show here in just a minute. So think about it today, tell me what you're up to get on our social media, tell me what you're up to what you're doing what you're motivated about, where you want to be six months from now, we want to hear from you. We want to connect with you. This shows not just about putting on a show and you listening to me all the time, we want to know what's going on in your world. I mean, this doesn't work without some given take people come on. So I also want to remind you to go to our divas impact calm and sign up for our unmasked conference, it's going to be October 11 and 12th. in Dallas, Texas, it's actually going to be in Grapevine, Texas, but everybody calls us the whole area Dallas, I don't understand that. I'm actually a Fort Worth type girl. But anyway, come on, join us in Grapevine, Texas, October 11 and 12th. And get ready to just have your socks rocked off. But today Today, I want to start off like I do every day and remind you that I am Angie Monroe, I am your girlfriend. And what we're going to talk about is we're going to talk about some tough stuff today. You know, what threatens your peace? Ah, yeah. here lately, I've heard a lot of people talking about anxiety, and stress and tension, and sleepless nights. And I just want to talk to you about what threatens your peace? What is it that you're going through right now that if this thing happened, you would not feel safe and secure?
You know, it's changed for me over the years, you know, a lot of people say, you know, a man needs a woman to love him. And, and, and treat him kindly and, and do all sorts of acts of service for him. And I'm talking about, you know, just being that support role. If a man's not feeling supported, then he doesn't feel loved, right? For women, most of the time, it's if they don't feel safe, they don't feel loved. Well, what is threatening your safety, your security? No, one of my first times I really paid attention and looked at this was right after the Columbine shootings. What was that 20 years ago now? And my youngest daughter was just starting elementary school that fall. And we were standing in the garage at my parent's house. And she just looked up at me and she had these big, tearful eyes. And she asked me, am I gonna be safe?
Talk about something that just crushes your soul, when you're preparing your children or your spouse or a loved one to go off somewhere. And their biggest concern is, am I going to be safe? You know, I sat in that garage that day. And I just had a conversation with her and explained to her what the teachers and the counselors and the principals and all in the even the school security guards, that their homes whole job was to make sure that they felt safe and that they were safe. And that mommy and daddy would get to them just as soon as they could. But what little comfort that gives a child when they see all the things happening in the world, as I'm recording this show this morning, there was another active shooter in the downtown area of Dallas this morning. And so how do people go to work? How do they go about their everyday stuff? and not have fear?
I hope some of you there listening to this already know the answer to this. But we'll share a little bit more about that a little bit.
Now we've talked about my marriage with my husband, Michael and the ebb and flow that we've had throughout the years. And it's not always been pretty. And you know, he's not always been kind and neither have I and we've always had friction, right? When we first got married, we would have the checking account and he would see money in the account. And he just spends on the debit card, not knowing that I had checks outstanding. Or he would go out drinking on Friday with his paycheck and come home with half of the paycheck and we needed all of it plus some to pay the bills that were Do you know, there was a lot of these things that really just ate away at my safety and my security. And what it did was it built up resentment, and it built up hate and that built up anger.
And it's still my piece. See, there was just one action that happened. But my reaction to it is what helps to steal my peace.
I remember the morning of 911
I remember exactly where I was what I was doing. I not only had my three children, my neighbor next door I had her son as well. I had just taken them to school. And I'm watching the plane fly into the towers. Our schools at that time had some major renovations going on. So the announcer system, the paging system, all that stuff was down. And I know when I went up to the school, there were droves of parents up there checking their kids out of school and I saw the look on the secretary space that day going you want your children so I said no. I want to leave my children here in the classrooms as long as I can. I want to preserve their innocence as long as I can. But what can I do to help because in that moment of terror and anger and frustration, I was not gonna let what happened robbed me of my peace. There would be plenty of time to process the emotions over the next few days, weeks years to come. But at that moment, I was choosing my peace over the anxiety that could come with the attack.
My mother was a government worker when the Oklahoma City bombing happened. Knowing that your mother's in a building in downtown Dallas, when that's happening in Oklahoma, that can get your nerves up a little bit. But then again, I was raised knowing where my peace comes from. Living in Texas where the weather is so unpredictable, it goes from sunny to tornadoes and in storms in matters of minutes. I have a cousin of my husband that does not come down to visit. Because he's afraid of tornadoes. There's actually tornadoes where he lives. He's just afraid of them here because there's so many that come. But see, again, I know where my peace comes from. I've had several family members that have been sick over the last little bit.
They were either short illnesses or month long illnesses they didn't they weren't year long illnesses, they were just a few months before they were gone.
Walking through the stages of grief with someone as they're letting go versus walking through the stages of grief after they're gone are two totally different things that impact you in totally different ways. Just a sudden, jolting shock of they're gone. can really set you on edge.
Doesn't mean that either one is more or less. They're both griefs. They're both ways to walk through it. But one of them makes you feel like you've been robbed of something while the other one makes you thankful that you had those moments that you had with them.
But in the middle of it, it's Where's your peace?
Micah 7:7 yes, I'm using a Bible verse here shoot me, says I wait and hope for my Lord. I know he sees me.
Wow.
You know, one of the things that I want to remind everybody of is sometimes the things are going on in our lives. Just think they're horrible. They're coming away and ripping away the fiber of what we knew was right and in true and, and functional. And telling us that Nope, you can't have that anymore. And now you're out here. And you're lost. And you're alone. And you don't know what is next. I am a veteran of we've talked about that before. I'm a Navy veteran.
And right now, the largest demographic of homeless people right now is female veterans. Can you imagine what it feels like to serve your country to be willing to go where you're told to go do what you're told to do and come back. And you get out and you have nothing? Absolutely nothing. Some of its mental health, some of its emotional health, some of its just a loss of purpose. And not knowing where to go and how to be Whoo hoo at all. They were called to be another friend that's going through some changes right now in her life and in diagnosis has just come up for her and, and she's not claiming the diagnosis as the narrative of her life. What she's claiming is, is that she needs help. And I love that, that she is finding safety and security and being who she is, but still seeking help.
She's finding out where her peace is.
Now granted, the challenges that she's dealing with right now the peace may be coming and going, depending on what emotional state she's dealing with, that she's seeking peace with every fiber of her being.
How many of us can really say that? How many of us can look at the things that are going on day to day today and going, I choose peace, I choose joy. I've got another friend who lost her sister to an abusive husband a year ago this week.
And as they enter this week long, additional mourning process of such a tragic loss that just devastated the whole family.
They are making conscious choices to choose joy, and to choose peace and to forgive. They are finding ways to overcome the things that are coming up against them. We all have them. There are things that come up against us each and every day that come to rob, kill and destroy whatever positive attitude we have.
So again, I ask what threatens your peace? See, I'm a solutions person.
So either believes that if we know what the problem is, then we can always find the solution. If you know what's threatening your peace, then we can find a way to help you find that peace, and be in tune with that peace and eliminate that threat.
Many of us don't wait till the threat happens to make our mind up is what we're going to do. A lot of us are planners.
So if something were to happen to a loved one of mine, I already know some of the steps that would be taken to help eliminate the threat to my peace. That doesn't mean that I won't still have emotional turmoil, I still won't have other things going on. But let's just let's get really depressive here for a second. Grave planning, end of life planning, right? You buy a burial plot, you pay for
Episode 7 | Chicken Little Syndrome
Hello and welcome to warrior divas podcast real talk for real women and I am your host Angie Lehman rho. I'm so excited to get started with you today. We are got a great show coming up. And we are going to have kind of some fun at the expense of my husband here in a little bit. So but before we get started, I want to remind you all about our conference coming up in October, October 11 and 12th. It will be in Grapevine, Texas, and we are having an amazing line up of speakers coming in to talk some activations to do when you walk out of conference, you are not just going to be walking out and going, oh, I've attended another conference, you're going to be ready and armed with some amazing things to go out and, and just exponentially increase your life from where you're at now, so put it on your calendar, October 11 and 12th divas impact unmasked in Grapevine, Texas, you can find more information out at divas impact.com. But like I tell you every week, I am Angie Liebman row and I am your girlfriend. So one of the things I like to do is I like to dish with my girlfriends, don't you? We like to talk we like to have fun. And I'm going to share some stories that will poke a little bit of fun at my husband. But there is a story and a lesson behind each of these things that we're going to talk about. So bear with me, I'm not male bashing my husband by any means. We are just going to use some lightheartedness to learn a lesson today. Alright. So a few years ago, my husband and I and our three kids decided to go on a camping trip up in Daisy, Arkansas, Daisy, Arkansas, at that time was population of probably about 100 people. And this was 14 years ago, I think so we didn't have a boat. We had our tents. And we didn't really have a truck that we could haul a lot of stuff in. So we switched out cars with my brother to load my brother my car, we took his truck when my brother loaned us his truck, he said right here in the front, passenger side tire is a screw shouldn't have any problems with it. It's been there a while. But just in case you have a problem, it's probably going to be that tire Just so you know, it's just so you're aware. Like Okay, so we loaded up the truck, we loaded up the kayak, we loaded up the tents and we went up to Arkansas, and we had it planned, where we do a day camping there at the campsite hanging out on the lake and we'd go up to murphysboro, Arkansas, where they dig for diamonds was and we dig for diamonds one day and spend another day at the lake and go up to hot springs and visit hot springs and tour around there and show the kids the climb to the mountain or the tower at the top of the mountain, things like that. And then another death like in our last big adventure was to go up to Calvert camp, Albert Pike. Now camp, Albert Pike is something that heard about my whole life, there's a winding staircase, there's some beautiful scenery, where you hike in, and you ride these little rapids down on these on this winding staircase. But on the other side of it, there are all these logging roads that lead in and out of the camp. And just north of that camp is a place called Little Missouri Falls. Well, my husband is one of those that work with as well, and it says let's go explore. So we started winding up the Little Rock, gravel, dirt road, that kind of one car may be too if they suck in their side mirrors can get by at one time. And we're going along down below this is babbling creeks of water, we've got our dog with us, we're having a great time. And my husband asked the kids, Hey, y'all want to ride in the back of the truck.
They're like, yeah, this is gonna be awesome. So they jump out of the truck. And my son hollers over to my husband and says, Hey, we got a flat tire.
So my husband gets out expecting it to be that front, passenger side tower. It's not it.
It's the back, passenger side tire.
So here we are. Remember, this is a very narrow dirt gravel road.
My husband's changing the tire.
He gets that tire fixed, we gon go on up to little Missouri falls, we have a good day there, we come back. And we're just going to see where the trailhead is for the winding staircase. We're not going to go to it today. But we're going to just go see where it's at.
Excuse me.
So we go up through the park and we're on now this asphalt surface. We go over a speed bump, and all of a sudden, and you hear before I could even really react to understand what it happened. My husband goes into full-on Chicken Little syndrome. We're screwed. We're screwed. We're screwed hands flying up in the air. We're screwed. And at this point, he took me off guard so much because he's not a very emotionally charged person that I like to do was a laugh. So as a deer, if you'll park the car there, I'll take the kids to the restroom, you can go and talk to the camp host and see if maybe he can help you figure out what we need to. We're screwed. We're screwed. So off we go.
We get done going to the bathroom. We go in, we sit in the little reflecting pond areas that they have there. We're swimming, we're having a great time this good old boy that had been camping there was in an inner tube. And he had he was a one-armed guy. And it was just very unique. And so we're sitting there he's talking to us. He's paddling around in that inner tube, you know, and, and he's just circling around us a little bit as he's talking to us and goes, you know, you got a flat tire, don't you? I said, Yeah, my husband went up to the camp host to go see if we could get some help. Well, the other part of the story, I don't know, is the camp host up there. Open the door. My husband told him about the problem. He says, well, there's a town 20 miles that way and slams the door, my husband's face. So my husband had set out to walk to town.
And then he got mad and he says, forgets this. We're just going to limp it back home. So he came back. When he came back, I'd already been talking to this gentleman for a while and the guy goes, Hey, I'll run into town. So here we are. We are literally in the middle of the Washington National Forest. This gentleman gets out of his relaxation time, gets in the car takes my husband 20 miles down the road. They get there. The tire stores closed.
I don't even know what my husband said at that moment. But they did tell you about another one further on down the road. So they drove back past the place where they met the fork of the road drove another 20 miles to another store. This kid happened to go in the back where the grass was growing up between them and found the size tires we needed for this truck because it was not just any normal tires. It was a random funky tire. So they come back. They change out the tire. I know Mike's had a rough day something like come on children. Let's get out of the water. Let's go. Let's not make your daddy wait on us. He looked at me He's like, get back in the water. We're going to happen. He was not done yet. So, later on, that night, we're back at our campsite. He had already told the young man he'd be back the next morning for another tire because of we already had that one out. And I'm walking up towards the showers.
And I just looked at my the husband said, Does this tire look flat? You gotta be kidding me. Are you serious? Are you serious? So the next morning, he got up, put up enough air in the tires to get them to where they need to be got the other three tires changed out. And when we return the truck back to my dad, my brother, it still had that same front driver side tire with the screw in it on it. But all the other three tires had been changed on that truck. Now my husband was not happy for a while after that trip. It was
creepy. He was naming me every little thing. But every time something went wrong, my kids and I would do the whole we're screwed. We're screwed. We're screwed thing just to get trying to get him to laugh kind of poke the bear a little bit. He was not amused. See, one of the things that had happened in our marriage and our life and our things that have gone on is we had had a series of events that we had started to believe what's next? What can happen next? Oh my gosh, what now? Recently we had neighbors move into our home. I think it was in our neighborhood. It was April May time frame they moved in. And within a month of being in, they had a tree fall on their house. It's natural to ask What now? Right? I had a friend that moved into a new house in March out on the north side of Fort Worth, that neighborhood has been hit twice by major storms in the last three weeks. It's routine to ask what's next, those things kind of automatically come up. But see, some of the things that we don't realize are the priceless memories that are built during that time. We saw a great example of a neighborly guy come in, didn't have
to give up any of his vacation time at all, and helped my husband out.
My kids still, talk about that being their favorite vacation of all times. Because there was adversity, there were memories. There was laughter there was just a lot of things that happened during that vacation that we just can't forget, because of the things that happened during that vacation.
Then, you know, there's also my husband walking off his anger.
You know, sometimes you just gotta walk it off for a little bit before you reengage with everybody else, you know that the burden is laying on your shoulders and you've got to fix something and you've got to handle something. And sometimes you've just got to go walk it off before you reengage.
So what is your knee jerk reaction when things go wrong?
I would like to say that we all learned some amazing lessons from that experience. And we never had any knee jerk reactions ever, ever again. But I'd be lying.
Literally last week, not this past week. But the week before last. We had a major catastrophe on our hands. We had recently bought a boat, it had never been in the water. We were going to go take it an
Hello, everybody, this is Angie Leigh Monroe, your host of Warrior DIVAS | Real Talk for Real Women and I am so jazzed today, let's say jazz because I want to say awesome. I don't want to use all these other words, let's say jazz today, and we are about to have a great show. But before we get to that, I just want to remind you all about our conference October 11 and 12th. In Grapevine, Texas, you can go to our DIVASImpact.com website to learn more about it, but it's going to be an Unmasked conference. What does Unmasked mean? It means we are going to be peeling back the layers of gunk that we've built up over the years in our lives to kind of hide who we really want to be from the world. And we're just going to start unveiling some amazing things about each other at this conference, and I'm super excited. We're lining up some great speakers for it. We've got some opportunities for you to come in and be interviewed on pop for a podcast, maybe even think about launching your own podcast. We've got some amazing things building for this conference. So, stay tuned, go to DIVASImpact.com/unmasked, and you will learn more about that.
So on with today's show, and like I tell you every week I am Angie Leigh Monroe, and I am your girlfriend. What does being your girlfriend mean? It means that we can get real and we can talk about the stuff we need to talk about. Now today I want to talk about why the other people in your life named you to be a DIVA. I mean, let's get real. You hear the word diva and you hear; you think of somebody like Mariah Carey, Celine Dion, Whitney Houston. Some of these are great, amazing singers that can sing, but their attitudes aren't not always necessarily known for being the best, right? Because they are so good at what their attitude has them demanding more from everybody around them. Now, I'm not saying expecting more from others around you is a bad thing, but what I want to talk about today is not about what you expect of others, but what you expect of yourself. See, we've talked before the D in DIVAS is destined. So, what is your purpose? What is your calling? What are you destined for?
I, is for Inspired? Who are you inspiring? Who have you been inspired by? What have you been inspired by? And what are you inspiring others to do?
The V is for Victory. We all have had issues and challenges in our life, where we may have been a victim or victimized at one time, but we can walk boldly, confidently, that's our key word here boldly and confidently, as a victorious person.
Then the A is for Accountable. You know, one of the things that I've started to realize is a lot of women want somebody that they can be accountable with. That they don't know how to build that relationship. Excuse me. So, and then they don't know how to do that with women, because they either don't like women, or they are constantly battling women with women, butting heads feeling like the mean girls or, are feeling like a reject from the popular crowd. And some of us talk about, oh, well, that stuff stopped in junior high. Well, it did, but it didn't, because we still see evidence of it. When we watch shows out there like Bad Girls Club, or Real Housewives, or even The Bachelorette, we see it happen all the time.
So, what I want to talk to you today is, why it's important to be a woman that has these characteristics and these values. Because I get asked all the time, why should guys have an interest in DIVAS Impact? And I use this little tidbit with them; I tell them, you know, do you have a wife? Some of them will say no. Like, okay, do you have a daughter? No. Do you have a sister? No. Do you work with women? That's the time this gets them, and those sometimes, they'll still say no. So, were you born of a mother? Have you ever seen a woman? Normally at that point they have to cave in. Here's what's happening right now is we are putting women in the spotlight. When we talk about equality when we talk about pay equality, when we talked about the glass ceilings, when we talked about being victimized on the way to the top. You know, it used to be this whole thing that women always slept their way to the top and it was just a known thing, right? Now the women are standing up and pushing back, but are we doing it in a way that is honoring of ourselves? That's the that's the question I want to ask today. Are we doing it in a way that is honoring of ourselves? So recently, I wrote a letter that kind of had a play on words to one of my state representatives, and it was about an issue going on here in Texas with the plumbing board and stuff because my husband and I own a plumbing company together. And I wrote the phrase off of the crystal adu song that says what you're going to do with the cowboy. I wrote the words ‘what you can do with a plumber’, and I started thinking to myself, what you going to do with a DIVA? Hmm, you know, I think I might rewrite crystal Deuce lyrics to be what you're going to do with a DIVA? Because I want to, I want to talk to you for the next few minutes, about what employers, what bosses, bosses, well, that's an employer. So, let's just, you know, errr erase that part and go back to what a company can do with a woman that is a DIVA? What a husband can do with a woman that's a DIVA? What kids can do with a mom, that's a DIVA? We're going to talk about some of those things today, because those are the things that are going to help us really embrace and understand this movement. We're on to empower and equip women.
So, if a woman knows what her plan and her purposes for her life are, she's not constantly trying to jump on the bandwagon at every little thing that comes by. So, there is a way that you can look, and you can say, Okay, what is your path? What are you on? What do you do? Well, I am a woman that is a speaker, a coach and consultant. So, I work one on one with people, I work with businesses, I work with nonprofits, I help encourage, empower, and equip a global community of women change agents to make a positive impact on the world. How do I do that? I do that through our social media. I do that through one on one meetings, I do that through group trainings, I do that through speaking events, I do that through our conference. I do that through this podcast. So, we are very clear as to what our mission is and very soon, we'll have our magazine up. So, in launching again, as we're doing those things, we are constantly finding ways to touch the lives of women, and to highlight the lives of women that have tapped into what their purpose is, what they're calling is, and they know that the journey they are on is the destiny that they were purposed for.
So, then what we find is, when women are doing that, they're not looking for fulfillment in 1000 different places, they are focused, they are trained, they are conditioning for the race that they are on, right? So, I don't know if you've ever heard of run for the year, run the year, or something like that. So like 2019 is this year. So, it's the goal to run 2019 miles this year. Okay, first off if you're watching on YouTube, you can look at me and see that I'm not a runner. All right, but here's, the big thing that I am, I'm a walker, I'll get out and walk. I'll do that no problem. So, taking that time frame and going, Okay, I can get out and walk, breaking down 2019 into however many days of the week, I'm going to walk and going okay, I need to hit this many miles a week to be able to hit my goal for 2019. Some days that may be a mile some days that may be 10 miles. So, whatever that looks like, I broke it down because I know the goal, I'm trying to meet. I know the destiny I'm on to reach that goal. Same goes with destined women, we know the goal, the purpose we're on and we know where we want to go and we know what we want to do, but we are going to get on the journey. I got frazzled yesterday when I was getting ready to go and work an expo and when I got on and did a Facebook Live. I was just transparent with my audience. I told them I was frazzled, but I also told him that as frazzled as I was, as almost fearful as I was walking into what I was about to do, I was still doing it, I was still moving towards it, because my goal is at the end of what my journey is.
So, the other part of it is, is inspiring, because here's the thing. I have people that inspire me each and every day, they encouraged me, they motivate me, they inspire me to keep going. But the other part of it too, is I constantly hear from other women that are watching what we're doing and are excited about what we're doing and they are inspired to do more for their sphere of influence, and the people that they get to impact. Now, when we talked about the victory thing, you know, I can go out and say, well, I've got this, and I've got that, we've done this, and we've got this many followers, and we've got this many people converting, and we’ve sold so many shirts, and we've sold so many of this and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. That's not the type of victory that I'm talking about. The victory I'm talking about is the lives that were impacting. I have had stuff happen in my life, and if you don't know that, you can go back and listen to some of the first episodes we did of this podcast. But we don't talk about those things from a point of me still being stuck in those things. What we talked about is how we overcame those things to continue our journey towards our destiny.
The other part is, is that accountability, side of things. I want to be that Sister, I want to be that accountable person, I need somebody to hold me accountable. Well then, the other part of yourself is going well, I shouldn't need somebody to hold me accountable. I know what I need to do. I know how I need to do it, I'm just not doing it. But we all need relationship, right? That relationship is what helps us grow and evolve and dig deeper to launch this podcast and get things going. I had an idea of how I wanted it t
Hello, and Welcome to Warrior DIVAS | Real Talk for Real Women and I am your host Angie Leigh Monroe and I am excited to be here this week. It's kind of a crazy crazy week because this is the week, as I'm recording this right now, we are actually launching our previous shows. So, let me just tell you something, if you ever want to be challenged and push to your limits, to say I want to launch something massive in 30 days, and then do it. Because, oh my goodness, the sleepless nights, the waking up in the middle of the night to jot down an idea, the technology crashes that happened in my laptop's gone down, I tried to do a Facebook Live earlier between my pages and my group, it made it to the event page, but it didn't even make it to the other pages that we were trying to do it too.
So, let me just tell you, all you can do during these times is just breathe. That's what we were talking about here in the studio right before we started today is just breathe, I have an Apple Watch, it tells me all the time to remember to breathe. Normally, I'm just going to “stop it, stop it, stop it stop telling me to breathe.” But I'm starting to embrace the goodness to be reminded to breathe. So today as we get started, I just want to remind you about our conference coming up in October; October 11 and 12th, it's going to be in Grapevine, Texas, and it's going to be a wonderful time for us to come together. It really just takes off some of the things that others have put on us and find out who we are behind all the masks we wear every day. So, our conference is called Unmasked, and we are going to be revealing some new layers of each woman that comes to that conference. We're just going to have a great time of tuning in to who we are, what we were created for, and how we can walk boldly and confidently.
But today, I'm going to start off again, reminding you that I am Angie Leigh Monroe, and I am your girlfriend. So, I talked about that probably a couple of episodes ago, where I want to be your girlfriend. It's not because I need friends. It's not because I have a lot of bandwidth for a lot of deep personal relationships. But I want to be your girlfriend because I want to be able to talk realistically with you. I want to be able to talk about tough stuff with you. The last week, there's been a resounding theme going on with the women I'm talking with and I felt it important to approach this subject today. Because if it's bubbling up that often in conversation, it means people aren't feeling connected to a solution for that problem. So, I've had several women coming to me talking about feeling overwhelmed, and I think what we do a lot of the times, like I said, we started the show talking about starting this podcast 30 days ago and getting launched and getting going and, and trying to get it all worked out, but that overwhelm that comes with all of that is, this isn't the only thing I'm doing.
You know, I have the Warrior DIVAS podcast, but I have the DIVAS Impact and Veteran DIVAS underneath that. I have a conference we're putting on, and I have Mike, speaking and coaching, and a training business that I do, consulting business that I do. So, I'm trying to get clients for that and work through clients that I already have for that, and we also own a plumbing business. Oh, and I have a husband, and I have kids, and I have grandchildren, and I've had a couple of funerals. Well, I've had four or five funerals this year, we've had to go to that we're family related. So, I mean, there is a lot that comes on and you start checking off the list of getting things done, but the list keeps growing as you're trying to get it done. And what I'm hearing from so many women is they feel like they're failing. They feel like they're not succeeding, they feel like they don't have time to rest, because there's so much to do. And one of my friends was talking to me the other day, she's recently recovered from a drug overdose, and she is a lifelong friend that's had a few problems down the road and had this drug overdose. We were just talking after she came out of recovery, seeing how things were going. And she said that she absolutely loved all the things she could get done while she was in her manic, high stage on the drugs and part of that was she felt super productive, but what she didn't realize is when those drugs wore off, and she crashed for a day or two, or a week, she was losing productivity. So, the same amount of work and effort could have been done along the hall if she had just taken time and periods of rest along the way. So, I'm going to throw some valuable stuff at you, you know, they talked about on the seventh day God rested, he created the earth six days and he rested. When we go into tilling soil and working the land farmers will tell you that every seventh you've got to give the land rest for it to be productive. So there's something about that seventh day and I know a lot of people right now they've got kids that play clubs, sports, they're constantly going, they're working just as hard at the church on Sundays, as they are at their jobs the rest of the day of the week. And then they have sports and all that stuff on Saturday. They're constantly going, going going, but they never slow down. See, we were the that family. Back in the day, we were at church every time it was opened. My kids, we had sports, my son played select baseball, we had other adopted kids that were always going to and doing things, my daughter was on the drill team and cheerleader. My other one was a trainer that worked with all the athletes. So, we were always trying to go places and be there to support them. Take drinks, do parent duties, all that good fun stuff and it gets exhausting, it really does. You work. At that time, I was going in at seven o'clock in the morning, leaving at seven o'clock in the evening and answering texts and emails to all hours of the night because I wanted to be that good employee for that job. But I was sacrificing time at home with my family. So, on the weekends, and when I did have time available, I was trying to be all in and be supermom. How many of y'all really tried to be super Mom, you know, and try and do everything, but I kept getting sick. So, what was happening was if I wasn't stopping to rest my body, my body was stopping me, and I had no control over when it would stop me. Because I was so tired, so worn out, so exhausted, so depleted, that I couldn't give to myself, or the ones I loved anything.
Now, I know this is an analogy that's heard a lot, especially in the Christian arena, is to serve from your overflow. So, imagine you've got an old antique teacup and it's sitting in a saucer. You know, a lot of times what we do is we pick up that cap and we start giving, you know a little bit of sip to our family, we give a little bit of sip to work, we give a little bit of sip to volunteer duties, we give a little bit of sip to our parents that are aging, we give a little bit of sip to our siblings because they need a hand right now. We give a little bit of sip to our neighbors because they need a hand right now. And we go to take a drink out of our own tea cup, and there's nothing there. So, what we need to focus on, and this is our challenge for this episode is taking care of ourselves. Finding that time to pause, push, reset, renew our mind, renew our spirit, renew our ability to think straight, because quite honestly, when you get in that frazzled state, and I've been there the last few days you get in this frazzled state and you start missing things, you start missing connections with people, you start missing deadlines and details that need to be paid attention to on a timely basis. So instead of filling that teacup up and giving everybody else's sip out of that teacup, let it overflow, let the picture of what's coming into you pour into that cup for me. It's my walk with God, it's my quiet time. It's my devotional time, it's my ability to tune in to what God's purpose is for my life and just listen to him for what's next. You know, so I turn that picture up, I say, okay, fill me. And then instead of letting everybody sip out of my teacup, it's now pouring out onto the saucer. I am full, I am refreshed, I am energized, and now they can have an endless supply too. Because as I keep tapped into what my calling is and where my purpose is, then the overflow continues to fill out.
So, I told you, I did a lot of work for my church, I worked for the church, I volunteered for the church. And I had been doing it for many years, and my friend Carrie Gant told me it was time for me to take a rest, take a sabbatical. Now sabbatical sounds like a scary term, whenever you're like, Oh, I can't work. I can't take time off work. But here's what you can do. You can start scheduling time, in your schedule for yourself. If it's getting up early in the morning, yes. I’m going to be real here if it's getting up early in the morning, so, you can sit quietly with your thoughts, so that you can be more organized for the day, do it. If you're going 90 to nothing and you look at your calendar and you don't see any time any day or any time in any day that isn't scheduled. set an appointment with yourself. Go to the beach, go sit by the pool, go to a park, go to bed. Some of you just need to go to bed because you're that tired and you're that grouchy. I'm telling you, yesterday, my husband, my assistant, Donnie who helped us launch the show, they got to see the real me yesterday and it wasn't pretty. I was tired. I was grouchy. I hadn't felt good. I had a stomach bug last week and I just hadn't bounced back yet. So last night, I still had things to do, but you know what I chose to do, I chose to put myself to bed.
My mom used to be a babysitter when we were younger. So, she would help supplement my dad's income, and we had a little girl, her name was Jody. She would come over to the house and she would do something and get in trouble, and as
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This is awesome love the pure rawness and genuine love Angie brings to the table