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Description
3 friends discuss the various minutiae of our favourite (sometimes love to hate) movie franchises. One of the hosts usually considers themselves an expert on the FRANCHISE and helps to GUIDE the others through each movie.
56 Episodes
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The gang is back with the final stand alone Jason Voorhees film before the 2009 remake. GC, Jen & J all watch as Jason gets cryogenically frozen at the Crystal Lake Research Facility, brought aboard a space craft 400 years in the future with plans to be sold on Earth 2. Tale as old as time. This film is a Canadian mess, it's not hard to see why it had been shelved for a couple of years before finally getting its theatrical release. This movie a warning for the future that awaits our plane...
Josh Gets Shaved! Would've been a far more apt title for this movie. Join GC, Jen & J as they power through this franchise and watch 1993s "Jason Goes To Hell: The Final Friday". All 3 are rather underwhelmed and Jen & GC had a few moments where this movie felt unwatchable. This is gross-out 90s horror at it's peak and Jason Voorhees takes a backseat for almost the entire movie. If you thought Jason X stole from Alien, wait until you see the little demonic worm in this movie! We talk ...
Ahoy! Start spreading the news, Jason is heading to New York and as they say; it ain't the destination, it's the journey! Join the gang as they experience roughly 20 mins of what Jason Voorhees in New York looks like and it's safe to say everyone was having a better time on the way there. This is a heartless cheesy mess, unfortunately with none of the campy fun that we got in Part 5: A New Beginning. This movie also leaves GC, Jen & J scratching their heads as to just what year this is su...
The gang returns to Crystal Lake and it seems many years have passed? No one told the wardrobe dept though. We join telekinetic Tina Sheppard and her exploitive therapist, "Weekend at Bernie's" Terry Kiser as they bring Jason back from his resting place, deep within the waters of Crystal Lake. This is such a strange movie, wherein the writer's had to use a "Carrie" type to give Jason a foe, in place of Freddy Krueger. We talk about Mike's surprise party that no one seems to mind he doesn't sh...
Join the gang as they head to a quaint little town called Forest Green. It's definitely far away from that death trap, Crystal Lake. Roy Burns is never to be heard from again, and as long as no one digs up the body during a thunderstorm, Jason has been neutralized. GC, Jen & J have a blast talking about the steamy relationship between a grown Tommy Jarvis and the Forest Green Sheriff's daughter, Meghan. Along the way we discuss officer handsome's fur-hooded jacket, soupy sound effects, an...
Come along on a trip to the Pinehurst Halfway House in Crystal Lake (?) as we're brought into a world (by a porn director) where Jason Voorhees is no longer and someone else has decided to dawn the iconic hockey mask; albeit with a slight modification via blue triangle decals. The 5th instalment of the Friday the 13th franchise is so gloriously 80s, full of shallow characters, sex scenes and inventive deaths, you may not even mind that this is the only movie in the franchise that forgets to i...
Special Guest Alert!! Franchise Guides is joined by our good friend Suzy to dish on this deliciously 80s, horny, horror movie. It's 1984 and Friday the 13th knows exactly what it's about as we watch a hulking man stalking through the woods and tossing teenagers through windows while a young Corey Feldman plays video games and makes creepy masks. Crispin Glover displays the most interesting of dances before looking for a corkscrew...Join GC, Jen, J & Suzy as they tackle the 4th instalment ...
Friday the 13th 3-D! Coming at ya! The gang is ready to get back in the water on what we believe to be a Saturday the 14th? Sunday the 15th? Somewhere in that ball park as we pick up right where Part 2 left us. This is such a strange movie with a bright vibrant colour palate, a new crew of mostly hateable dead meats, Jason finally gets his iconic goalie mask, and for some reason, what 80s Hollywood thought a gang was. Also a man gets chopped in the crotch while doing a hand stand. This movie ...
The gang makes like adult Jason and returns to Crystal Lake to hang with a new crop of dead meat camp counsellors! Jason has taken over where his mother left off. Now a grown man, he's living off the land and hunting down anyone that dares to visit the lake. We get into just what the plumbing situation is in Jason's scrap shack and see all sorts of sexy hijinks from the Dirty Newsies and creepy Scott. Thankfully child psychologist "Ginny" (she is referred to as Jenny the entire episode) is th...
Ki! Ki! Ki! GC rocks an epic undie skid through this one after we watch Kevin Bacon and friends meet their maker in the form of one pissed off mother. The gang storms into Camp Crystal Lake to play a little strip Monopoly and talk extensively about just what Kevin Bacon was up to with that tightly wrapped erection. GC, Jen & J prepare themselves to walk through the 1980s with a franchise so infamous, the killer was already spoiled for GC when watching Scream....also Snape kills Dumbledore...
The gang says goodbye to District 5 and boards the Bombay coach bus to Crystal Lake, New Jersey! Join GC, Jen & J for a late night skinny dip into the waters of Friday the 13th. It's about to get all spooky & sexy as a woman & her son (and some other guy?) machete their way through a few decades of horny campers. Is GC gonna be able to make it? Will his undies make it? Pitch a tent and join us around the fire, we're gonna give it to you straight about Jason... instagram.com/franc...
Join Franchise Guides as we close the book on Gordon Bombay's drunken exploits and find Charlie and the crew at a prep school in Minnesota where they are shocked to learn that the school will not be changing their team name to the Ducks. The fucking audacity! Gordo spends the movie in the wings as coaching duties fall to Coach Orion. We discuss the problematic 90s themes and how Charlie has kinda turned into an asshole. Listen in as we wrap up the franchise that birthed a national hockey team...
The Guides continue our breakdown of all things Gordon Bombay in this sequel that ups the stakes in so many ways! GC, Jen & J discuss the "Air Bombay Loafer" for kids who want to coach, the Iceland rivalry, the Minnesota Waves, and the Rodeo Drive models. We then look ahead to what's to come when the gang moves onto Coach Orion at Eden Hall Academy for D3. Join us for more thrilling rollerblade action than you ever knew you were missing! franchiseguides@gmail.com instagram.com/franchis...
Franchise Guides forms a flying V and breaks into the Mighty Ducks franchise with a full examination of just how Gordon Bombay got into this predicament (and yet remains our protagonist). We do a bit of "where are they now?" with the cast *spoiler alert* Karp got hunky, and just what was old Gordo up to with Charlie's mom? Better question, what was Charlie up to? Rollerblading montage, playing with eggs, and head trauma! You don't wanna miss this episode, join GC, Jen & J as they welcome ...
Quack Quack Quack we're back!!! Franchise Guides dives into all things Emilio...or is it Mario? Who was apparently 29 when shooting this movie!? Disney watered down this originally dark comedy to make it suitable for children...where the entire impetus for the movie's events is Gordon Bombay's DUI. We dive into a "where are they now?" with the franchise's peewee hockey players, discuss a Disney owned hockey team, and start off on the wrong foot with an ex New Kid On the Block. Listen in as Fr...
Hulk Hogan & Ernest in the same movie? 3 Ninjas did it! Join us as we wrap up the 3 Ninjas franchise and say our goodbyes to Rocky, Colt & Tum Tum. Dave Dragon joins the boys to help defeat the evil Medusa. Confused? 0% on rotten tomatoes doesn't lie. This is a movie that has to be seen to be believed. We talk Colt's insane hairstyle, Loni Anderson's sexy outfits, and Hulk Hogan's toupee, bulge & sex tape. Join us for our final Ay-Ah! instagram.com/franchiseguides franch...
Get ready for some sewer escapes! 3 Ninjas takes yet another page out of the Ninja Turtle book as our heroes tackle an environmentally charged issue in the latest instalment. Rocky, Colt & Tum Tum do battle in a pizzeria, on an old western set, and at city hall where they throw down with some cops (?) Catch the movie that seems to have single handedly ended the ninja craze of the 80s and 90s. Join Franchise Guides as we discuss this problematic turd of an entry! instagram.com/franchiseg...
Don't forget to pack your gi! Franchise Guides is heading to Japan with Rocky, Colt & Tum Tum for an adventure that involves much more baseball than most had hoped for. It also appears as though they decided to recast this time around and got two other kids to fight alongside Jamie Lee Curtis. Grampa is having a difficult time after a fender bender puts him on the sidelines for the majority of the movie. Don't worry though, this movie is still packed with baseball scenes. Don't kick front...
The Guides enter the dojo on this week's episode. So get on your Gi and get out those jelly beans because it's time to kick some adult ass. We discuss the 3 little heroes, Fester and his righteous dudes, Hugo's evil plans, Grampa's stunt double and the boys throwing down on the basketball court. Join Franchise Guides and get your shot of 90s nostalgia and about 37 dick kicks. Ay-Ya! thefranchiseguides.buzzsprout.com instagram.com/franchiseguides franchiseguides@gmail.com twitter.com/F...
The Guides say goodbye to the boys of East Great Falls and Ay-Ah! to Grandpa's Dojo. That's right, we're covering the 90s craze, 3 Ninjas! Franchise Guides' own Rocky, Colt and Tum-Tum are ready to dive into the first series to feature a movie with a stellar 0% rating on Rotten Tomatoes. Spoiler Alert! It's not even the worst movie in the series thanks to some fantastic work from Hulk Hogan and an evil Ernest P. Worrell. Join us as we discuss what lies ahead in the series, test Jen's knowledg...
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Terrible podcasts. Hosts are very unlikabe.