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Hacking Polyamory

Hacking Polyamory


Even in progressive company, polyamory is a widely misunderstood relationship style. Today we take a deep dive to better understand polyamory through the lens of our sexual evolution. Evolutionary psychologist Geoffrey Miller joins to discuss the stigmas of evolutionary psychology and polyamory, negotiating sexual boundaries, mate selection, dealing with jealousy, how poly can help people who struggle romantically, and technological threats to monogamy.
Emotions sometimes feel like hardwired reactions that are out of our control. But what if this is all wrong? Laci explores a mind-bending new view of emotion that is changing everything. Neuropsychologist Lisa Feldman Barrett joins to discuss how emotions are made and how we can gain control of them, techniques to experience more joy, the psychological pros and cons of trigger warnings, and how to become more emotionally intelligent. Learn more about Indirect Message at  Laci's Twitter: Laci's YouTube: Today's guest: Lisa Feldman Barrett, author of How Emotions Are Made
America's 50% divorce rate is a jarring reality check. In this episode, Laci shares her evolving thoughts about getting married. She discusses why we tend to ask the wrong questions before tying the knot, the 4 communication habits that destroy relationships, and a shockingly simple way we can cut the divorce rate in half. Learn more about Indirect Message at  Laci's Twitter: Laci's YouTube: Today's Guest: Susan Piver, author of The Hard Questions
Seemingly overnight, TikTok became one of the most addictive social media apps on the planet. It is also the first giant created in the authoritarian state of China. Laci discusses how TikTok managed to capture the world's attention, their controversial history of censorship, and whether the app could be used as a weapon of mass manipulation. Learn more about Indirect Message at  Laci's Twitter: Laci's YouTube: Guest: Chris Stokel-Walker, author of TikTok Boom Content Warning: brief mentions of slavery, ableism, and the Uyghur genocide
Dr. Drew dished out sex advice on the radio for over 30 years. He and his daughter Paulina join me for a fireside chat. We discuss their father/daughter relationship and the impact of Drew's fame, sex ed in '80s, how hook up culture developed, gender differences in desire, why college students binge drink, rejection and emotional development, rehabilitating abusers, and more. Learn more about Indirect Message at  Laci's Twitter: Laci's YouTube: Guest: Dr. Drew Pinski and Paulina Pinski Content Warning: brief mention of eating disorders, extensive discussion about perpetrators and rehabilitation
Is dating the next feminist frontier? The ladies who started Reddit's Female Dating Strategy certainly think so. Laci is joined by the strategy's creators to explore what it means to unapologetically center women's needs in dating. They discuss their critiques of sex positive & liberal feminism, the "manosphere" and online backlash, the problem with 50/50 dating, "forever girlfriends", how they vet men for relationship success, and more. For audio that doesn't pan, listen to this episode on YouTube. Content Warning: brief mentions of non-consensual choking and violent porn, potentially upsetting generalizations about men
Moralizing, outrage, and condemnation are all over social media. While it may be well-intentioned, there is quite often a dark side to this behavior. Laci is joined by philosopher Dr. Brandon Warmke to explore the use and abuse of moral talk on social media. They discuss the five ways we virtue signal and why it is so widespread, the threat it poses to activist causes, and what those of us who crave better moral discourse can do about it.
Despite the body positive movement's enormous virality online, girls and women are just as fixated on their bodies as they ever have been. Is there a better approach? Activists, researchers, and identical twins Drs. Lexie & Lindsay Kite join Laci to share their perspective. They discuss why the body positive movement has struggled to achieve its radical goals, self-objectification and a critique of the selfie, the effects of body shame on motivational states, diet talk, and integrating body positivity with a healthy lifestyle. Content Warning: brief mention of eating and exercise disorders.
Liberal feminism and Islam have become unlikely bedfellows; the hijab is largely celebrated, while critical discussion is hampered by accusations of bigotry. Activist Yasmine Mohammed, an ex-Muslim child abuse survivor who was forced to marry an Al Qaeda operative, questions the narrative. She joins Laci to discuss her life experiences, why the liberal conversation about Islam is so fraught, Islam (the doctrine) vs. Muslims (the people), double standards and racism, violence prevention in multicultural societies, and feminist approaches to the hijab. Content Warning: discussions of sensitive cultural issues, child abuse, homophobia, descriptions of FGM, sexual violence, and suicide.
Is it possible to become addicted to sex? How much sex is too much, exactly? Laci is joined by Dr. David Ley to untangle the sticky web of sex addiction. Ley makes the case against the concept of sex addiction, arguing that it is rooted in sexual shame. They discuss sexual repression, porn addiction, "normal" sexuality, impulse control, politically incorrect fantasies, and why our sexual fantasies often correlate with our politics. Content Notice. This episode contains: frank discussions of sensitive sexuality issues, a brief mention of a mass shooting, and brief descriptions of sadomasochistic sex acts.
The Sex Ed Spiral

The Sex Ed Spiral


How does making sex ed videos on YouTube land you in the center of the online culture wars? Pretty quickly, in fact. Laci is joined by YouTuber Arielle Scarcella for an open ended discussion of her controversial perspectives and work. They discuss critiques of "woke" activism, abusive tactics in leftist circles, lesbian identity, impossible discussions about sex and gender, Arielle's "conservative" re-brand, being a lesbian on OnlyFans, and collective self-censorship. Content Warning: This episode contains frank discussions of sensitive sexuality issues as well as graphic descriptions of sex acts.
How can we cultivate happy relationships that last years, or even decades? While the modern explosion of self-help books tell us how to get love, ancient Buddhist texts offer a different approach: how to give it. In this episode, Laci and Susan explore The Four Noble Truths of Love. They discuss how our modern approaches to relationships can set us up for failure, expectations vs. reality, how to create the right "container" for relationship success, the pitfalls of passion, intimacy vs. love, and a well-traveled path to lifelong partnership.
A storm of media coverage regularly accuses YouTube of radicalizing the masses with their recommendation algorithm. The only problem? A closer look at the research paints a very different picture. In this episode, Laci and Anna explore the YouTube politics scene and how the 2020 algorithm works. They discuss left and right content "bubbles", mainstream media vs. YouTube, the plight of independent content creators, and why the rabbit hole theory has enduring psychological appeal.
The internet is flooded with attempts to grab our attention.. So what gets us to click? Laci and Ben Parr discuss the booming attention economy and how it is changing the world, from parasocial relationships to politics. They discuss 7 common tactics used to capture (and sell) our attention.
The Stoic Challenge

The Stoic Challenge


How do you handle the setbacks in your life? Laci and Bill discuss practical Stoic techniques to find greater resilience and strength in the face of life's challenges.  Conversation topics include our need for social approval, righteous anger and victimhood, dealing with failure and rejection, declining civility, an unusual approach to grief, the trappings of consumerism, and what it truly means to embrace our circumstances.
Mask Hysteria

Mask Hysteria


Perhaps the biggest threat in a pandemic is not the virus itself...but how we react to it. Last year, Dr. Steven Taylor predicted what would happen in the next pandemic with astonishing accuracy. In this episode, Laci and Steve discuss media distortion, the politicization of masks, backlash to mandates, American individualism vs. collectivism, the upcoming anti-vax crisis, personality types prone to mask hesitance, depressive realism vs. optimism bias, and what the past predicts about the future.
Anonymity is blamed for some of the worst behavior online. Should everyone be forced to reveal their true identity instead? In this episode, Laci contends that anonymity isn't the boogeyman it's made out to be. She is joined by Scott Alexander from Slate Star Codex to discuss his crisis over a forced doxxing at the New York Times, the double edged sword of cancel culture, China's censorship problem, internet trolls, group think, and why we struggle with self control online.
The End of Policing?

The End of Policing?


Is policing as we know it on the way out? In this episode, we discuss the militarization of the police, whether we should defund police departments, and what it will take to move forward in the wake of so much state-sanctioned violence and trauma. Featuring Mecole Jordan-McBride of NYU'S Policing Project at
It's A Conspiracy!

It's A Conspiracy!


Are we living through the golden age of conspiracy theories? Laci Green takes a closer look at the psychology of conspiracy theories, the internet rabbit hole, and what we can learn from real conspiracies. Featuring Dr. Joe Uscinski.
Till Death Do Us Part

Till Death Do Us Part


Laci Green explores the myriad ways that existential anxiety may affect human behavior. She is joined by Dr. Jeff Greenberg, one of the original researchers behind Terror Management Theory. She explores what Terror Management Theory is, and how our belief systems and self esteem help us to live forever.
Comments (8)

Natalie Schreiber

thank you for this episode!

Dec 4th

Andi-Roo Libecap

This was a difficult episode, @gogreen18. I cut off a lot of ppl & I didn't like hearing that I might've been wrong for doing so. I'm glad your guest finally gave an out by stating we all have our lines. The ppl I cut ALL crossed my personal lines. There's a difference between disagreements based in good-faith arguments vs. moral violence. Love your podcast for making me question my beliefs! #LaciGreen

Jan 26th

Andi-Roo Libecap

What an engaging, informative interview! Laci, I love the work you do.

Oct 24th
Reply (1)

Flo Töller

Indirect Message ia slowly but surely becoming my favorite podcast. Very well made, very considerate thoughts. Great stuff!

Oct 17th

Marie Allègre

Great stuff, eye-opening chat and valuable info. Thanks Laci, looking forward to the next episode!!

Oct 16th

Jay S.

it's impossible not to adore and love Laci Green, and the fact that she mentioned empathy as a much needed part of recent cultural behavior is absolutely true. Looking forward to the next episode! ^_^

Sep 20th

Andi-Roo Libecap

Excellent conversation, well researched information. New podcast is off to a great start and I am here for it! But then, I'm biased as I adore Laci Green!

Sep 19th
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