Kosher Queers

This week, we talk about the dubious metaphor of Gog and Magog, name our city Pluralism and then rename it again, talk about crumbling empires, and reflect on what we’ve learned about the text over the last two years. We do that because this is our last episode of season 2 and thus, the formal end of the podcast!!!! Bye y'all; thanks for these last couple years. (But stay tuned for a small surprise in the feed coming soon.)Transcript here. Lulav listens to the podcast Emojidrome, which you can support on their Patreon. The bracha for immersion that Lulav said in the shower is available here, and more commonly used when visiting a mikvah. The local  indie printing press that Jaz visited was Reflex Letterpress, and if you're in Boston you can also rent out the space or take classes there. If you're not in Boston, you can still order custom prints, buy pre-made prints from their Etsy page, or follow them on Instagram at @reflexletterpress. "Cis", in case this hasn't come up in the two years we made this podcast, is NOT an acronym for "comfortable in skin". It means "the two things we're considering are on the same side," or, in gender terms, that the gender you are is the same as the gender you were assigned at birth.  "The Crucible" is a 1953 play by Arthur Miller that dramatized the 1692 Salem witch trials as an allegory for Congressional attempts to ferret out communists and homosexuals — real or imagined — that is usually referred to as "McCarthyism". Also, turns out Eretz Yisrael IS on a fault line, and according to the Geological Survey of Israel, there is a rough average of one earthquake per day. Lulav mentions some things from the 1996 computer game Civilization II: its global warming mechanic, and a famous scenario where the world's resources are wholly devoted to war. Lulav also references the song "Once in a Lifetime" by Talking Heads. Please do what you can to stop Line 3, which is an oil pipeline that violates native treaties, crosses hundreds of bodies of water, and has the potential to be a major pollutant. Tip us on Ko-fi! Our music is by the band Brivele. This week, our audio was edited by Ezra Faust, and our transcript was written by JJ Jensen, who you can follow on Twitter @pantspossum. Our logo is by Lior Gross, and we are not endorsed by or affiliated with the Orthodox Union.Support the show

This week, we debate the unholy combination that is polyamory, ponder the beauty of limericks, flirt briefly with pornoprophetics, and talk frankly a lot about words related to "gadol."Transcript available here, but this week's transcript is also a little delayed due to the holiday, and the full thing will be up and correct shortly.You can check out the band Really From at their bandcamp! You can also check out the work of Fat Torah at their website, where Jaz's classmate Emily Rogal has done cool work! The bit from Talmud we referenced about how angels don't understand Aramaic is in Shabbat 12b. If you're curious about the "Microsoft Sam" voice, there's a text-to-speech where you can listen to it here (though Lulav wishes to advise that you open it in an incognito window). Jaz references a TV show that they couldn't remember the name of that we're pretty sure was Joan of Arcadia (2003-05), which is apparently not available for legal streaming anywhere on the internet, because capitalism is not interested in cultural preservation. John Donne's most famous poem about being horny for Hashem can be found here, but if you want it longer, less blasphemous, AND with uncriticized examples of ancient colorism, Shir haShirim is right there. This week's reading is Samuel II 22:1-51. Next week's reading is Ezekiel 38:18–39:16, and that'll be the last episode of season 2, and the formal end of the podcast for the foreseeable future! Support us on Patreon or Ko-fi! Our music is by the band Brivele. This week, our audio was edited by Lulav Arnow, and our transcript was written by JJ Jensen, who you can follow on Twitter @pantspossum. Our logo is by Lior Gross, and we are not endorsed by or affiliated with the Orthodox Union.Support the show

Shana tova! This week, we talk about unsatisfying endings, concise prophets, and how a DM slide can be a radical gift of honesty. Also, the pluses and minuses of smooth roads, insufficiently Jewish translation choices, and what having four different answers to the same question means, Talmudically speaking.  Transcript here. This week's reading is a combination of Hosea 14:2-10, and Micah 7:18-20 and Joel 2:15-27. Next week's reading is Samuel II 22:1-51.  Support us on Patreon or Ko-fi! Our music is by the band Brivele. This week, our audio was edited by Ezra Faust, and our transcript was written by JJ Jensen, who you can follow on Twitter @pantspossum. Our logo is by Lior Gross, and we are not endorsed by or affiliated with the Orthodox Union.Support the show

This week, we are strongly in favor of having help (both from people and canes), have mixed feelings about Jericho walks, and dislike when trans people are rude about the ways other people are trans. Plus, being flirty but judgemental with G-d!   Transcript available here.Here's the Cowbody Rap that Lulav referenced. For our listener Consolations, you can listen to "Back in the Ring" by Chris Pureka and the poem "Hope Is Not A Bird, Emily, It's A Sewer Rat" by Caitlin Seida, which is available via photo here, and for purchase in her book ebook My Broken Voice: Poetry from the Edge and Back. Also, here's "what resembles the grave but isn’t" by Anne Boyer.  Ian Perry's poetry isn't published anywhere that we know of, but we're grateful it was shared with us! Also, thank you to @froggybulbes on Twitter for sharing your personal life Consolation. This week's reading is Isaiah 61:10–63:9. Next week's reading is a combination of Hosea 14:2-10, and Micah 7:18-20 and Joel 2:15-27.Support us on Patreon or Ko-fi! Our music is by the band Brivele. This week, our audio was edited by Lulav Arnow, and our transcript was written by JJ Jensen, who you can follow on Twitter @pantspossum. Our logo is by Lior Gross, and we are not endorsed by or affiliated with the Orthodox Union.Support the show

This week, we discuss metaphorical big-tent design, and the joys and perils (mostly joys) of not getting back together with your exes. Also, a reminder not to argue with randos on the internet and skepticism about people who talk in vague, idealitistic terms about "queer elders." Plus, journaling as a reality check on our fallible memories and impression of self and the value of just keeping things to yourself for a change. Transcript available here.You can listen to "Fire Back About Your New Baby's Sex" by Don Caballero, and it's entirely instrumental, so we choose to believe it means something in line with what we would mean, about refusing to gender babies. Also, we've now finished reading Persuasion by Jane Austen, and enjoyed it! Not our favorite Austen, but probably not least favorite either, though it does feel weird to now be the type of person who has favorite and least favorite Austen books. You can check out the forthcoming podcast doing a queer retelling of Pride and Prejudice, by Caroline Mincks and Cassie Josephs, on its Twitter account @QueerPridePod. I do recommend A Mosaic of Israel's Traditions by Esther Shkalim for learning about different Jewish holiday traditions from around the world, though note to more radical listeners that it does frame the whole thing around modern Israel as a melting pot. The podcast Gender Reveal, which asks guests about their dreams for the future of gender, is also pretty cool. Jaz's current journal is from the Walnut Wellness Fund, helping provide access to therapy for low-income LGBTQ people, particularly people of color.  This week's reading is Isaiah 54:1-10. Next week's reading is Isaiah 60:1-22.Support us on Patreon or Ko-fi! Our music is by the band Brivele. This week, our audio was edited by Lulav Arnow, and our transcript was written by JJ Jensen, who you can follow on Twitter @pantspossum. Our logo is by Lior Gross, and we are not endorsed by or affiliated with the Orthodox Union.Support the show

This week, people are gay for Shabbat, the Shabbos bride brings a dowry of relaxation, and people re-write prayers to make them more gender-balanced, but forget that Judaism has more than four women. Plus, a formal announcement about what's happening at the end of this season of KQ! Transcript here. There are so many different kashrut certifying organizations that each have their own hechsher; you can see a list of some of their symbols here. Here's an Orthodox list of the 39 types of work that are not supposed to be done on Shabbat. Here's the text of the long kiddush in Hebrew, transliteration, and an English translation. Here's the text of Lecha Dodi in Hebrew, transliteration, and an English translation. Shlomo Halevi Alkabetz didn't do a lot that was remembered other than write Lecha Dodi, but you can still read about him briefly here. Here's the text of the part of the Amidah that we talk about in Hebrew, transliteration, and an English translation. Jaz discusses the book is: Heretical Jewish Blessings and Poems, by Yaakov Moshe, which, having now finished it, they don't necessarily recommend - it leans heavily into Buddhism, and they like their heresy to be more organically Jewish. However, fun opening poem. Also, a different but excellent book that's also discussed is Parable of the Sower by Octavia Butler.  This week's haftarah reading would be Isaiah 54:11–55:5, but since we already read that in Episode 52, our reading was the kiddush, the amidah, and Lecha Dodi. Next week's reading is Isaiah 51:12–52:12.  Support us on Patreon or Ko-fi! Our music is by the band Brivele. This week, our audio was edited by Lulav Arnow, and our transcript was written by JJ Jensen, who you can follow on Twitter @pantspossum. Our logo is by Lior Gross, and we are not endorsed by or affiliated with the Orthodox Union.Support the show

This week, we talk about bioessentialist familial claims, the metaphorical home renovations you need to do if you want to rekindle an intimate relationship with your estranged children, and gay math. Also, Lulav fails to pluralize in a language she doesn't know, and we touch the merest surface of the topic of punishing Jeff Bezos.Transcript available here. The podcast otipêyimisiw-iskwêwak kihci-kîsikohk, a.k.a. Métis in Space, is hosted by Molly Swain and Chelsea Vowel and is on the Indian & Cowboy Podcast Media Network. Listen to it if you wanna hear two ladies make fun of indigenous stereotypes in sci-fi while also building visions of indigenous futurism.We also reference the books Catfishing on CatNet by Naomi Kritzer, Piranesi and Jonathan Strange & Mr Norrell by Susanna Clarke, Full Surrogacy Now: Feminism Against Family by Sophia Lewis, Detransition, Baby by Torrey Peters, and Watership Down by Richard Adams. We read a lot of disparate books, and also feel fine talking about books we haven't read but have simply osmoted via social media or other podcasts! You can buy at least some of those books (probably all of them, if you order ahead of time) at Next Chapter Booksellers in Minneapolis, where Lulav's friend Em works, and you can follow Em on Twitter @eudaemaniacal. This week's reading is Isaiah 49:14–51:3. Next week's haftarah reading would be Isaiah 54:11–55:5, but we already read that whole selection for Episode 52, so to avoid repeating ourselves and boring you, we're going to be talking about Shabbat selections like the kiddush, the amidah, and Lecha Dodi.  Support us on Patreon or Ko-fi! Our music is by the band Brivele. This week, our audio was edited by Ezra Faust, and our transcript was written by JJ Jensen, who you can follow on Twitter @pantspossum. Our logo is by Lior Gross, and we are not endorsed by or affiliated with the Orthodox Union.Support the show

This week, we talked about creating accessibility rather than uniformity, finding joy for the future out of really tough situations, and keeping kindness on your person in as ordinary a way as wearing your clothes. Also, we shared our first consolation with you; tell us yours, either on social media or at kosherqueers@gmail.comContent note: we discuss suicide at a whole bunch of different points throughout the episode, non-graphically. Transcript available here.Lulav's cool and queer or Jewish bit for this week is the works of gray Folie, whose Patreon you can find here. They've completed Drop-Out and Fresh Meat. Jaz's Consolation was the poem "Hammond B3 Organ Cistern" by Gabrielle Calvocoressi. Jaz also mentions the podcast Ear Hustle, made out of San Quention prison, about life while incarcerated and now also life after incarceration, and specifically talks about their most recent episode, "Home for Me Is Really a Memory." The Friends at the Table episode where they discuss true names can be found here. Lulav made a joke about Mega-Gojira. Apparently that's not a thing, as she discovered with a cursory google and checking this list, but we should be very afraid of Mechag-d.This week's reading is Isaiah 40:1-26. Next week's reading is Isaiah 49:14–51:3.Support us on Patreon or Ko-fi! Our music is by the band Brivele. This week, our audio was edited by Ezra Faust, and our transcript was written by JJ Jensen, who you can follow on Twitter @pantspossum. Our logo is by Lior Gross, and we are not endorsed by or affiliated with the Orthodox Union.Support the show

This week, we talk about abolishing air forces, the human capacity to change large social institutions, and driving lessons. Plus, Jaz can't remember things about Christian theology but does know you can learn different lessons from history, and Lulav is always down to fight Hashem out back behind your fast food joint of choice. Transcript available here. Here are our episodes with Jill and the Hawk! Rose in Bloom by Louisa May Alcott is a public domain work available for your bedtime reading wishes, though be forwarned that it is extremely racist against Chinese people specifically. "Casey at the Bat" by Ernest Lawrence Thayer is another public domain work that we talk about, which has the advantage of being funny, but also, includes old slang that I don't understand, so it seems likely that it's bigoted, but not sure against who.  You can also check out Finnegans Wake by James Joyce if what you really want from your public domain works is for them to give you a headache. Also Lulav references the quote "I can excuse racism but I draw the line at animal cruelty" from the show Community, that was turned into a meme. Plus, Jaz talks about Bo Burnham's new comedy special, "Inside" and the book of Lamentations (or Eicha). Also, the thing that Jaz was quoting, about the US not being a democracy was by Nikole Hannah-Jones as part of the 1619 Project, and was in particular the article, "Our democracy’s founding ideals were false when they were written. Black Americans have fought to make them true." This week's reading is Isaiah 66:1-24. Next week's reading is Isaiah 1:1-27.Support us on Patreon or Ko-fi! Our music is by the band Brivele. This week, our audio was edited by Lulav Arnow and Ezra Faust, and our transcript was written by JJ Jensen, who you can follow on Twitter @pantspossum. Our logo is by Lior Gross, and we are not endorsed by or affiliated with the Orthodox Union.Support the show

This week, we learn about how if you see a stick in a dream, it's because G-d is sticking by you. Also, we diagnose Jeremiah with ADHD, discuss how new relationship energy can disguise problematic dynamics, and Lulav starts writing A Gamer's Translation of Tanakh.  Transcript available here. Lulav is running a game of Heart: The City Beneath by Grant Howard and Christopher Taylor, which you can buy a PDF of here. You can listen to the newest season of the tabletop roleplay podcast Friends at the Table season, Sangfielle, here. Here's the Jack Johnson song "The 3 R's." The song Jaz was talking about, where the number 1 is for G-d, 2 is for the tablets, 3 is for the patriarchs and 4 is for the matriarchs is called "Echad Mi Yodea" or "Who Knows One?" and the full lyrics are available here (and 10 is, in fact, for the commandments).  This week's reading is Jeremiah 1:1–2:3. Next week's reading is Isaiah 66:1-24. Support us on Patreon or Ko-fi! Our music is by the band Brivele. This week, our audio was edited by Ezra Faust, and our transcript was written by JJ Jensen, who you can follow on Twitter @pantspossum. Our logo is by Lior Gross, and we are not endorsed by or affiliated with the Orthodox Union.Support the show

On this week's episode of "where jewing it man.", the very real podcast about the webcomic Homestuck that we have definitely been running since September 2019, we're talking about if gender is the same as species, why the Statue of Liberty lasts for billions of years, and as always, what on Earth or Alternia is going on? Anyway, happy April Fools y'all, and thank you for joining us in an alternate universe in which we made a queer Jewish Homestuck podcast instead. Full transcript here.Here's Judaism Unbound Episode 261 - Canaan Unconquered. There's some more information about Marranos here if you're interested in learning more. Okay, here are links about some of the things in this episode which we didn't explain on air! Fair warning that these explanations... might make things more confusing, honestly. Here's a ~ATH (pronounced "till death") manual, the characters Calliope and Caliborn/later Lord English and their room, John (the first person in the comic), fetch modus, Andrew Hussie (the creator of Homestuck), blood colors, Seer of Light and other classes, Rose Lalonde, Gamzee, Problem Sleuth, Planet of the Apes, Red Miles, Lil Cal, bunnies, Dave's Bro, and more, unfortunately, but there's not room for all of it. Also, here's the Calliope fic.  This week's reading was the Homestuck pages that came out during the two weeks of June 18th, 2012, to July 1st, 2012, which is pages 5098 through 5237. Next week's regularly scheduled Kosher Queers reading is II Samuel 6:1–7:17.  Support us on Patreon or Ko-fi! Our music is "Black" by Toby Fox and "Hungry Yid" by Brivele. This week, our audio was edited by Lulav Arnow, and our transcript was written by Reuben Shachar Rose. Our logo is by Lulav Arnow, Jaz Twersky, and Lior Gross.Support the show

This week, we discuss the ethics of estimating wrongdoing, offer like half a dozen interpretations of a single line of text, and meet some flirty rabbis in the Talmud who were looking for a unicorn. Also, the Torah said disability justice and "NO WIZARDS!!!"The transcript is here, but owing to some external life circumstances Jaz, some of it is still in draft form; it will be updated shortly. You can buy Transangelic Exodus by Ezra Furman here. The story about Bar Kappara at a wedding is in Nedarim 51a. Here's the original article by Pervocracy about the concept of a Missing Stair.Support us on Patreon! Send us questions or comments at kosherqueers@gmail.com, follow us on Twitter @kosherqueers, and like us on Facebook at Kosher Queers. Our music is by the band Brivele. This week, our audio was edited by Ezra Faust, and our transcript was written by Jaz and DiCo. Our logo is by Lior Gross, and we are not endorsed by or affiliated with the Orthodox Union.Support the show

Did you miss us? As a treat, we've crafted some deluxe Kosher Queers bonus material for you; here's all the short parsha summaries we did throughout the two years of making the podcast, all neatly collected in one place. Get ready for a lot of very rapid speech. Transcript available here!Tip us on Ko-fi! Our music is by the band Brivele. This week, our audio was edited by Lulav, and our transcript was written by Jaz Twersky. Our logo is by Lior Gross, and we are not endorsed by or affiliated with the Orthodox Union.Support the show

This week, we return to the text from our very first pilot episode, and take a fresh look at it two years later! We talk about taking some distance in different types of relationships to be able to return to them better, the importance of mourning, and excellent gay novels. Plus, no kings! They're all too busy working in service jobs to rule.  Transcript available here.You can find out more info about the most recent Philly Trans Wellness Conference. There's also an overview Wikipedia article about the great chain of being. We definitely recommend reading the new book Hani and Ishu's Guide to Fake Dating by Adiba Jaigirdar. This week's reading is Isaiah 60:1-22. Next week's reading is Isaiah 61:10–63:9.Support us on Patreon or Ko-fi! Our music is by the band Brivele. This week, our audio was edited by Ezra Faust, and our transcript was written by JJ Jensen, who you can follow on Twitter @pantspossum. Our logo is by Lior Gross, and we are not endorsed by or affiliated with the Orthodox Union.Support the show

This week, we ponder things that can be both liberatory or oppressive depending on the circumstances, discuss interesting translation choices, and compare divine retribution to "buy one, get one free" sales. Plus, thoughts about debt.Transcript here. The part of Job that Jaz was referencing starts at chapter 38:4. Lulav references the "RIP but I'm different" meme. We asked if anyone knows things about modern Jewish Greek translations of the Tanakh and how those compare to Christian translations of the Tanakh into Ancient Greek, so hit us up if you know anything about that. Jaz references the work of scholar Daniel Boyarin, and in particular his book A Traveling Homeland: the Babylonian Talmud as Diaspora. For her Consolation, Lulav brought Family Tree Clinic in Minneapolis.  This week's reading is Isaiah 51:12–52:12. Next week's reading is Isaiah 54:1-10, which we have done before, but we're doing again from a new angle.  Support us on Patreon or Ko-fi! Our music is by the band Brivele. This week, our audio was edited by Ezra Faust, and our transcript was written by JJ Jensen, who you can follow on Twitter @pantspossum. Our logo is by Lior Gross, and we are not endorsed by or affiliated with the Orthodox Union.Support the show

This week, we talk about paradigms of childrearing, giving people space for low-stakes disagreement, and also Kanye lines from 2010.Transcript available here.You can probably still do games on Dreamwidth. Also, Lulav is running and Jaz is playing a game of Heart: The City Beneath by Grant Howard and Christopher Taylor, which you can buy a PDF of here. Lulav references "POWER" by Kanye West, which you can see here.Support us on Patreon or Ko-fi! Our music is by the band Brivele. This week, our audio was edited by Ezra Faust, and our transcript was written by JJ Jensen, who you can follow on Twitter @pantspossum. Our logo is by Lior Gross, and we are not endorsed by or affiliated with the Orthodox Union.Support the show

This week, we talk about mountains as metaphors, Rashi's genital jokes, and being an anti-astrology gay. Plus, we debate anti-assimilation vs anti-colonial readings, and Lulav is a slut for economic interpretation.  Transcript available here. Seen and Not Heard is a touching narrative podcast about not getting in fistfights with ableist mothers, and instead figuring out how to live your best deaf Jewish life. You can find a comprehensive list of other works Caroline Mincks here or follow them on Twitter @saucymincks. Lulav's first exposure to beating swords into plowshares was this Magic: the Gathering card. If you're not on Lex but would like to be on Lex, you can download it here.  You can learn more about the work of Jaz's Talmud teacher, Laynie Solomon, on the "Trans & Jewish World-Building" episode of Judaism Unbound, or read their bio here. The song Lulav references about 28 minutes in is "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls, which came out two months before Jaz was born. Also, gender reveal parties are bad and here's an explosion to prove it!  This week's reading is Micah 5:6–6:8. Next week's reading is Jeremiah 1:1–2:3.Support us on Patreon or Ko-fi! Our music is by the band Brivele. This week, our audio was edited by Lulav Arnow, and our transcript was written by JJ Jensen, who you can follow on Twitter @pantspossum. Our logo is by Lior Gross, and we are not endorsed by or affiliated with the Orthodox Union.Support the show

This week, we discuss whether it's a good idea to tell your girlfriend your secrets and let her tie you up, unearned dramatic plot resolutions, and how rough a position messengers must have been in. Plus, what does it really mean to have land "belong" to a "nation" or a "person" anyway?  Transcript available here.You can check out Yente Over the Rainbow, which is "a matchmaking service for LGBTQIA+ Jewish people" that Jaz works for. Here's the story about Arnold Schwarzenegger's illegitimate child. Also, we do recommend both Hershel and the Hanukkah Goblins by Eric A. Kimmel (illustrated by Trina Schart Hyman), and this Talmud story about demons that you can dramatize yourself for all your child-entertaining purposes. Here's an Orthodox explainer on Radak, and here's Radak's commentary about how Yiftach's daughter didn't die, she just didn't ever get married. This week's reading is Judges 11:1-33. Next week's reading is Micah 5:6–6:8. Support us on Patreon or Ko-fi! Our music is by the band Brivele. This week, our audio was edited by Ezra Faust, and our transcript was written by JJ Jensen, who you can follow on Twitter @pantspossum. Our logo is by Lior Gross, and we are not endorsed by or affiliated with the Orthodox Union.Support the show

We brush up on Shmuel's reasons to hate kings, listen to him brag about not being a jerk, name a sheyd, make folk etymologies about a coronation party at Gilgal, and sneak a Degrassi reference in there. Also, in more serious news, we discuss our preferences for positive vs negative mitzvot and compare commandments to perennial queer discourse.Transcript here. Check out Xai, How Are You? a queer Talmud podcast hosted by Xava de Cordova, which we like. Lulav references the Bartimaeus Sequence, a series of young adult novels which she liked a lot when she read it approximately 15 years ago. Also, here's the Jewish demon story that Jaz was talking about where a sheyd tricks King Solomon. This episode carries content warnings for eye trauma (24:06) and animal violence (24:37).This week's reading is Samuel I 11:14–12:22. Next week's reading is Judges 11:1-33. Support us on Patreon or Ko-fi! Our music is by the band Brivele. This week, our audio was edited by Lulav Arnow, and our transcript was written by JJ Jensen, who you can follow on Twitter @pantspossum. Our logo is by Lior Gross, and we are not endorsed by or affiliated with the Orthodox Union.Support the show

This week, we discuss a sex worker who hangs out with a king, extremely inconsiderate invaders, and the vibes of different names. Plus serious dilemmas of moral relativity, words that mean "red," and overly horny Talmudic rabbis. We had to mark it explicit because the text is sexually explicit; it's not our fault. Transcript here.Here's Austin Walker's old tumblr blog clockworkworlds and his current work on the podcast Friends at the Table. You can also check out The Objective and follow it on Twitter @ObjectiveJrn ; it's run by Jaz's friend Gabe Schneider, who you can follow on Twitter @gabemschneider. You can check out the Christian fiction podcast Forgive Me! if you're interested in that sort of thing; Jaz listened to the whole thing, and is still not sure if they'd recommend it or not.  Here's a bit about Rachav from the Talmud, in Zevachim 116b and another one from Megillah 15b. This week's reading is Joshua 2:1-24. Next week's reading is Samuel I 11:14–12:22.Support us on Patreon or Ko-fi! Our music is by the band Brivele. This week, our audio was edited by Lulav Arnow, and our transcript was written by JJ Jensen, who you can follow on Twitter @pantspossum. Our logo is by Lior Gross, and we are not endorsed by or affiliated with the Orthodox Union.Support the show