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Practically Speaking Mom: Intentional Mom, Strong Family
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Practically Speaking Mom: Intentional Mom, Strong Family

Author: Val Harrison, The Practically Speaking MOM

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Do you long to be a more intentional mom but you feel overwhelmed or weary or just don't have a clear path to the next step toward a successful family life? The Practically Speaking MOM, Val Harrison, is here to bring some order to the chaos and some focus to the confusion. You don’t have to be the perfect mom to have a strong family, you need a plan! Join author, speaker, and mother of seven, as she shares wisdom and encouragement about the six areas of an intentional mom's life.You'll learn from her years of experience, successes, mistakes and redemption. Val and her husband Rich, married 28 years, have three married children, two more in college, and two in her homeschool. This podcast covers all stages of parenting, from babies to toddlers to teens and beyond. Val wants to encourage you to not become weary in your work as an intentional mom, "Even with all its unique personalities, imperfections and scars; your family is God's masterpiece. Your efforts matter in this worthy journey of motherhood. Let's walk this path together!"
59 Episodes
Episode 58, BEST OF YEAR ONE - top episodes, top parenting principles, hosted by Rich and ValIt's time to CELEBRATE!  This is the first of three episodes of celebration for our One Year Milestone with the Practically Speaking MOM Podcast, the podcast for an intentional mom to build a strong family.  Coming Soon:10/26/2020 BLOOPERS - Behind the Mic with Abby & Emma - this one is hilarious!11/02/2020 DEBUT of SEASON TWO!!! - Can't wait to share some NEW aspects of the show with all of you! Click Here to read the Blog Post for this episode which contains the dialog and links to episodes that were showcased in this episode. (Sorry, usually the blog  is usually published before noon on Mondays.  It can't be published until the podcast goes live, thus I have to publish the blog post on Monday mornings.  However, this Monday morning I am speaking to a group of moms and I'll hit publish as soon as I'm finished meeting with them. I'm sharing with them the material from Your Love Becomes Their Strength: Answering the Six Essential Questions of Your Child's Heart.  Pray for them right now that they would receive the help they need to strengthen their relationships with their children. Thanks for your patience.  I sure appreciate all of you dear followers of the show.  It is such a joy to minister to you each week.  Hugs, Val)CONNECT with VALWebsite        Facebook Group        Facebook Page      Instagram
Here is an episode full of wisdom nuggets for moms to keep the right PERSPECTIVE with your to do list, to keep your PRIORITIES in order, to find STRENGTH in difficult times, AND it wraps up with guest Steph Fisher leading us through a Stress-Relieving Deep Breathing Exercise.  This is a conversation rich in wisdom, encouragement, and motivation for mamas between Val Harrison, The Practically Speaking MOM and her cousin and wellness expert, Steph Fisher.  All of this in episode 57, Motivation for Mamas to Reduce Stress, Keep Priority Focus, & Take Time to Breath with Guest Steph Fisher.This episode ends with Steph Fisher walking us through a Stress-Reducing Deep Breathing Exercise designed to increase focus and decrease stress.For this week's podcast notes, click here to go to my blog post for episode 57.  About our Guest, Steph Fisher @StephFisherWelness www.StephanieFisher.arbonne.comSteph Fisher has been Fitness Director and Head Personal Trainer with several fitness certifications.  She's taught Cycle, Kickbox HIIT, and Pilates for 20+ years, and recently added her 200hr RYT Yoga certification to her list of health leadership experience.  She is also an ERVP with Arbonne.  She's passionate about helping others discover their personal balance and strength.  She's a mama to four great kids and wife to Joey. And she's also Val's cousin!  But who she is most of all, is daughter of the King of Kings who brings her joy and sustaining grace every day!Podcast episodes mentioned in this episode:Episode 38: Mom Making Money: Strategies that Work So Your Focus Can Be on Your FamilyEpisode 14: Raising a Luke 2:52 KidEpisode 22: Mom's Marathon PathHere's more about the concept of Feasting with the Father Episode 24 Here's an episode where I talk more about my grandma and her time in the valley with VALWebsite        Facebook Group        Facebook Page      Instagram
 This week we look at lots of awesome strategies for FITTING HEALTH into our busy momlife!!  Oh, Mama, you want to listen to this two-week discussion between Val Harrison, the Practically Speaking MOM, and Steph Fisher of @StephFisherWellness.  "When you take care of YOU well, then you're able to take care of your family well." Steph Fisher of @StephFisherWellnessMoms have a tendency to shove their own needs to the bottom of the pile. We're constantly inundated with obligations, little people tugging on our pant leg, older kids needing our help,  and for many of us, we also have to add "making some income" to the list of responsibilities that volley for our time, our attention, and our energy. For many years, my life was a series of days of neglecting me, especially my physical needs.  Most afternoons I would find myself completely depleted and then realize that I had done nothing to take care of myself physically. In my warped perspective, I thought that was selflessly, lovingly caring for my family.  I knew my children needed a mom who was nourished spiritually if I wanted to help bring them to relationship with our Creator, but I didn't realize that same principle applied to physical health. Intentional Mom, I've told you before, IT IS NOT SELFISH TO TAKE CARE OF YOU.  The opposite is actually true: Taking care of YOU is one of the most important gifts you give your family. But how do we make it happen?!  How do we make time for self-care? How can we develop a healthy lifestyle when we have NO TIME and NO ENERGY and NO MONEY?! And then how do we help our family be more healthy in a sugar-filled world?!Steph Fisher to the rescue!  She has been one of my top mom-health mentors over the last four years in my journey back to health, (I still have a long way to go, which is why I still need Steph!), and I'm so glad that you'll all get to meet her this week (and next) on the podcast!  Steph is a fitness powerhouse with several certification and 20+ years experience in helping mamas become healthy physically. I'm also blessed to call Steph my cousin!Next week, in Part two *Staying encouraged even through tough times  *Juggling income when your priorities are God First, Family Second, and then everything else *Stress Relief including a Guided Breathing Exercise at the end of Part two that will leave you feeling mellow and energized.  I put it at the end of the episode so it would be easy for you to return to it anytime you want a Stress Relief Guided Breathing Exercise with Steph! Fisher has been Fitness Director and Head Personal Trainer, with several fitness certifications.  She's taught Cycle, Kickbox HIIT, and Pilates for 20+ years, and recently added her 200hr RYT Yoga certification to her list of health leadership experience.  She is also an ERVP with Arbonne.  She's passionate about helping others discover their personal balance and strength.  She's a mama to four great kids and wife to Joey. And she's also Val's cousin!  But who she is most of all, is daughter of the King of Kings who brings her joy and sustaining grace every day!CONNECT with VALWebsite        Facebook Group        Facebook Page      Instagram
Click Here to go to Episode 55's BLOG POST. How Do YOU Measure MOM SUCCESS?  Goodbye COMPARISON & PERFECTION! Have you clearly identified your family values? Until you do, you are likely to use the wrong measurement for gauging how you’re doing as mom, and how well your kids are growing toward a meaningful life. Too often COMPARISON or PERFECTION sneaks in as mom's measuring stick for Mom Success. An INTENTIONAL mom  TAKES THE TIME TO DETERMINE HER TOP VALUES and then those VALUES SHAPE her decisions, actions, words, goals, schedule, and perspective.It’s not wrong to evaluate how you're doing in motherhood.  In fact, I find it beneficial IF I evaluate how I'm doing based on a pre-determined CLEAR target of what I'm aiming for in motherhood. 📌Stop COMPARING yourself to other moms and your kids to other kids. 📌Stop aiming for PERFECTION and holding off on happiness until you've achieved perfection. 📌Identify Your Family Values  - I share mine in this episode #55 📌Determine HOW your Family Values are going to be incorporated into your lifeParenting without having CLEARLY ESTABLISHED VALUES is like shooting arrows while blindfolded- you're not going to reach the target AND someone is likely to get hurt. Taking off the blindfold allows your eyes to be fixed on the target. In episode 55,"Measuring Mom Success! Goodbye COMPARISON & PERFECTION,"  we talk about THE TARGET.  I share my values with you and what that looks like in my family.If you want an expanded version of shownotes, read my blog post for episode 55.Also in Episode 55, I spend the last ten minutes talking about the next step of My Journey Back to Health, specifically talking about Adrenal Fatigue and ways I'm working to heal my adrenals, including some practical steps for improvement.Resources mentioned in episode 55:Link to adrenal fatigue article     LInk to next week's guest, Stephanie Fisher Here's a link to my favorite source of MCT Oil (as discussed in this episode).  I buy several things from Trim Healthy Mama because I believe in the QUALITY of the ingredients and INTEGRITY of the company.  Shopping through this link could provide a small financial benefit to me as I am an affiliate of Trim Healthy Mama.  I am VERY choosy about what companies I choose to affiliate.  I only affiliate with companies that I have used personally for an extended amount of time and have found it beneficial to my family, and thus, want to bring the same benefits to your family. If you would like to see my other affiliate recommendations, click here.I hope you'll go to my private Facebook Group Intentional Mom, Strong Family, look for episode 55 POST and comment with your thoughts on this podcast episode and share YOUR VALUES with us!If you would like to contribute to the cost of producing the podcast, here is one way: CashApp:  $valpsm. Connect with Val:  Website   Instagram  Facebook Page    Private Facebook Group  
A Sense of SECURITY is a Fundamental Building Block in the Pursuit of Wholeness - the wholeness of an individual and of a relationship.What if you had someone in your life who was fully committed to your wholeness as a person, someone who sacrificially pursued your sense of security every single day? How would that impact your ability to thrive? To stay encouraged? To pursue God's big and small purposes for your life? Today, we're looking at the important building block that is GIVING THE GIFT OF SECURITY to those you love. Our examples are regarding marriage, but you can take these principles and apply them to parenthood TO HELP YOUR CHILD THRIVE because of a sense of security. In this episode I'm joined by your favorite host, and my all-time favorite person, my husband Rich.  Episode 54 is one more building block in helping those you love THRIVE and grow closer to  WHOLENESS as an individual and WHOLENESS in your relationship.Relational Security- Security within your RELATIONSHIP TRANSPARENCY- My spouse has the confidence that I am being open, fully honest, disclosing everything. It is vulnerable accountability and a commitment to complete truth.  "Usually the things that I don't want to bring up... are the exact things that I need to bring up."  "If you are fully, vulnerably honest with me... that gives me a real sense of security that I can really trust you."Maintaining agreed upon BOUNDARIES to honor the relationship Avoiding the self-protection trap - a barrier to onenessDEFENDING the one you love- "My level of defense for you reflects my value of you."GENTLENESS- treat their emotions and vulnerability with tenderness; not using what they say against them, not manipulating. Respecting, treasuring,  "I'm a gentle cheerleader of the fact that you are willing to be transparent."Provisional Security- Security in material aspects of lifeINCOME STABILITY- Healthy work/home balance, maintaining stability in job, partnering in position changes or potential job changes. FINANCES- Common financial goals and strategies (spending limits, budgeting, use of debt, etc.)MAINTAINING OUR RESOURCES- Honoring each other by each fully participating in keeping our things in good repair and manageable.Family Security- Security regarding how we manage our familyPARENTING- each parent equally engaged in raising children, identifying concerns, developing character, imparting spiritual truths and developmentSYSTEMS- Driving kids places, scheduling, laundry, meals, the kids' chores, maintaining the home... There are many aspects that play a role in how smoothly life happens as a family.  It can be very demoralizing if only one parent is implementing the systems that help a family function with stability while the other parent is ignoring the systems or not contributing to the complex creating and maintaining of systems.LEGACY- "We're partnered together in our legacy, thinking long-term in impacting their view of God, themselves, relationships, family, work, citizenship, etc.Resources: Episode 8 Redeeming Your Marriage and Developing ONENESS - choosing God's BEST in our marriageEpisode 23 Negative Communication Habits & Communication Games that have Got to GoIf you would like to contribute to the cost of producing the podcast, here is one way: CashApp:  $valpsm. 
Sibling Squabbles & Family Standards for Fighting Fair, Birthday Bonding, Listener Q&A, Changing Negative Self-Perceptions, and the Hard Work of Mending Relationships are all a part of Episode 53 of the Practically Speaking MOM: Intentional Mom, Strong Family Podcast.How would you like to sit-in on a lighthearted chat with Val and her two youngest children? That's what you'll do in the first half of episode 53.  Then Val continues with Listener Q&A. Announcement: Sign up for Val's Monday Email (containing podcast & show notes) by the end of September as all subscribers will receive a FREE Family Communication Evaluation Form emailed to you. Sign up at www.PracticallySpeakingMOM.comClick Here for Link to corresponding blog post which contains adding info:  STEPS to MENDING RELATIONSHIP with YOUR GROWN CHILD.In Episode 53, learn...*How we handle Sibling Conflict and Standards in Fighting Fair*A Birthday Tradition that promotes sibling bonding while also improving self-perception and even improves communication skills and character*Listener Q&AEpisode 53 Listener Q&A includes...*What to do when our kids don't want to hear us say positive things about them. Often the root problem is Negative Self-Perception.  What can we as parents do to help?*How should we handle it when we are personally inconsistent in enforcing boundaries, or enforcing chores and other behavior in our kids?*Mending Relationship with our kids, especially older kids.... where do we begin?  (See corresponding blog post for additional REPAIR STEPS that aren't discussed in the episode.)Believe it or not, arguments DO happen at the Harrison household and thus we've developed some family standards for fighting fair - how we treat one another when we disagree. Abby and Emma help me tell listeners what sibling squabbles sound like in our home and we hope that this will give you some ideas and new perspectives for developing some sibling spatting standards at your home too!"By treasuring the relationship enough to REPAIR after a disagreement, we are showing how much we value that relationship.""Whether it is positive habits or negative habits, whatever habits of communication our oldest children are displaying, those behaviors will trickle down to the younger children as well."  Resources: Val's most popular podcast episode: Episode 6 "Parenting Middles & Teens, Overcoming Negative Self-Talk, & What Teens aren't Telling You." *Clash in Your Home: Getting A Game Plan for Cleaning Up the Conflict   or E-BookIf you would like to contribute to the cost of producing the podcast, here is one way: CashApp:  $valpsm.   hope you'll message me at val@practicallyspeakingmom so I can thank you or in the description spot in the cashapp transaction list your name or contact info, if you're willing, so I can thank you for supporting this message!
An honest story of brokenness, redemption, hope, and beautiful scars along with SPECIFIC ACTION STEPS for INTENTIONAL PARENTS - steps for the role you play in your child's sacred journey to make their faith their own.  What's so sacred about struggling?  We don't realize it is sacred until later.  Later we see all the ways that God weaves together our mistakes and poor choices, our moments of doubt and brokenness, followed by Him redeeming us from the pit, and it is that redemption that turns our scars into something beautiful.  And then, then we see that the time of struggling was just as sacred as the time of redemption. This week you hear the rest of the story that we began last week -  the story of God making our scars beautiful.Resources:Clash In Your Home: Getting a Game Plan for Cleaning Up the Conflict     EBook version                                                                                                                     "Welcome"  "Whisper"  "Be Still" written, composed, and performed by Victoria Dahilig. Copyright 2009A note from Victoria about the final song, Be Still,  in this week's episode...I was 15 and at a crucial point in my spiritual formation. Struggling between simply living out “my parent’s faith” and making my faith and belief in God my own, I had been in a battle between the knowledge in my head and the feelings in my heart. I was doubting the goodness of God. This battle culminated in a struggle with depression, loneliness, anger and fear – God gripped my heart, drove me to my knees and drew me back to Him through the light of others and the truth of His word. As I searched Scripture, I re-discovered a loving Father who is attentive to every need and deep, heart-cry of His children and yet, sits in sovereign control of the Universe. A God who was not far from me, nor angry with me or disappointed in me but one who was close, constant and welcoming with open arms.  As my soul finally began to find rest in the character and promises of God, this song, Be Still, was my response.  Inspired by God’s own Words found in Psalm 46, Exodus 14:14, Isaiah 31:17 and Zephaniah 3:17, this was my heart singing in the assurance and confidence I had found in my place of belonging and safety in the arms of a good Father. My hope is that as other’s hear the words of this song, that no matter what storms may be raging in their life, they can take a moment to trust again and simply rest in the assurance that God is still God."                Victoria Dahilig, 2020More Episode series w/ Victoria  A Girl's Self-worth,   Parenting Middles and Teens
"In all honesty I was tired of running from God. It’s hard work to run away from God because you’re running away from love and joy and hope. You don’t realize, until you’re away from all of those, the deep cavern that is inside of you without God filling it. So I came to this place of surrender and it was really GRACE. I was finally willing to admit that I was lonely and that I was hopeless… to admit that I couldn’t do this anymore on my own and I didn’t want to..."    Victoria Dahilig, Episode 51This week and next, you get to journey to the heart of God through the testimony of Victoria Dahilig - church youth and ministry director.  This two part series includes two original songs by Victoria - words God gave her because they were the words her heart needed to hear, and perhaps you need these words for your own heart or for the heart of one that you love who is running."Psalm 113:7-8 says 'He raises the poor from the dust and lifts the needy from the ash heap to make them sit with princes and the princes of His people.' That was exactly where I felt that I was at – that I was poor in the dust and needy in the ash heap. I had felt that I was in a place of dust and ashes and God was willing to lift me out of the heap... I grabbed a hold of the truth about the sovereignty of God - the mystery of Him and the assurance of Him... One of my songs was born out of this realization, in the act of turning back to Christ and realizing how heavy the loneliness, and dust, and ashes were weighing on me and taking the chance to open up in an honest prayer to God – lifting a raw prayer before Him.“     Victoria Dahilig, Episode 51Parents, one thing I feel very strongly is that how we help our younger children discover God is a very different parenting plan from when our teens and adult children wrestle with their faith. "Who is God?" and "Who am I in relationship to Him?"  Are critical questions. As intentional parents, we can't have a "one size fits all ages" approach to this heart issue. We need to handle it differently at different stages of life. Next week, as we conclude this interview with Tori and introduce her next song, we’ll also talk about the Parent’s Action Plan - steps for helping your kids make their faith their own - different steps for different stages of childhood.“God doesn’t eliminate the difficulties and trials for our children, but He does walk with them through these times. He is right there with them at every moment of every step, going in front, going beside, going behind, carrying them. He is totally surrounding our kids and we can trust Him."val harrison, The Practically Speaking MOM, episode 51"Welcome Me" written and performed by Victoria Dahilig, Copyright 2009Next week, I will share ACTION STEPS for PARENTS  at each age and stage, to aid in the process of kids taking on their faith in God AS THEIR OWN, from the young to the grown, what we can do as intentional parents. (Episode 52, publishes 9/7/2020). The story continues with the second song for the second step in Tori’s journey to the heart of God. I am honored that you spend time with me each week, listening to the podcast while you multi-task your busy life.  Here's some other things you can do: Leave a review on Apple ITunes and on my public Facebook page, Connect with my Intentional Mom, Strong Family private community on Facebook.See my books, my blog, my resource recommendations, and subscribe at:  Practically Speaking  See you next week, I’m praying for you.  val.
Fifty episodes is something to CELEBRATE when you're a mom of seven, grandma to two, a homeschooler, and a Mompreneur!  Val (and Rich too) are amazed that God continues to direct this ministry - now with registered listeners in over 40 countries around the world and thousands of downloads. Moms in all types of circumstances are becoming more intentional, growing stronger families, and celebrating the fact that God has designed their imperfect family as God's perfect masterpiece in the making!  Celebrate this milestone with Val and Rich as you learn more of their heart for each one of you in this 50th episode special.I may be the Practically Speaking MOM, but I'm not a perfect mom. All of my episode themes are based on my biggest failures and mistakes. I’ve just failed a lot. But I am willing to learn from my mistakes, seek forgive, and do the hard work of letting God mold me. It’s not that I’m a great mom, it’s that I’m a mistaking mom who is determined to not stay the way I am.""In a marriage, God can take a great big mess and turn it into something amazing, if we let Him...  if we lay down our weapons against one another.""The ingredients for Healthy Family Relationships, or really any healthy relationship are HONESTY, HUMILITY, and HONOR. Those are the three ingredients we most strive for in our family.  We're not going to get it right all the time, or even most of the time, but we keep striving toward this standard, keep developing these habits of HONESTY, HUMILITY, and HONOR."Here's the QUESTIONS Rich asked Val on this BEHIND THE SCENES episode of the Practically Speaking MOM: Intentional Mom, Strong Family Podcast!❓So, what’s the deal with the long title for your podcast? "Practically Speaking MOM: Intentional Mom, Strong Family Podcast." That's a lot.❔What happened to the Six Rooms of the Intentional Mom's Home, is that still a key part of the ministry? ❓What do you want the listeners to know about Val Harrison?❔What's been the most challenging thing that's happened since beginning the podcast?❓Why do you keep doing this ministry on hard days?❔What's been the most rewarding part of being the Practically Speaking MOM?❓What's the listeners' favorite episodes and what's yours?❔Where are we going from here? What can the listeners expect?Top Two Listened to Episodes:🎧Episode 6 Parenting Middles & Teens - Overcoming Negative Self-Talk - What Your Teens Aren't Telling You- Resources for those who love a child in the Gen Z world.🎧Episode Trailer: Meet the Practically Speaking MOMCONNECT with Val:Subscribe to my Monday Email containing blog post and podcast:   Val's Facebook Private Community Intentional Mom, Strong Family   Val's Instagram: Val for a Coaching Session or for your next Mom's Event at
LAUNCH Time: Legacy Building for what comes next  & a Mother's Prayer at the Threshold, Episode 49.If you'd like the words of the Mother's Milestone Prayer from this episode, you will find them on my blog that publishes Mondays by noon, at  While there, be sure to take a few seconds to enter your email address to register to receive my weekly blog post and podcast right in your inbox.Some questions that will be answer on this week's episode:❓What's my family's identity - characteristics that represent our family?❓What LEGACY am I building - the values I want to pass on?❓What qualities do my kids need most to prepare them to launch into adulthood? ❓How can they develop confidence & humility at the same time? ❓When my child no longer lives with me, what is my role in their life and is it as important of a role as I had before?❓How do I pray for my child? ❓How do I pray for my mourning mama heart?Mom, don't wait to prepare your kids for adulthood! If you want them to have SOLID HABITS as adults, you want to help them develop those NOW.  In the first part of today's podcast, my youngest son, Andrew, and I discuss four key areas in a strong foundation, from Andrew's perspective - work ethic, finances, social life, and spiritual life. This first section would be great for your middle school or high school son to listen with you. Then I continue the podcast looking at building LEGACY & building FAMILY IDENTITY.  This all wraps up with a heartfelt prayer from a mama who is going through the mourning process of launching her child into adulthood.Every mom has a vital role to play in the next step of your child's life - whether your kiddos are little are fully launched.  No matter what stage of motherhood you are in, from new mom to grandma, this week's podcast will touch every heart and give you fresh perspective in your next step on this worthy journey of motherhood.  Resources:Chip Ingram - Living on the EdgeAlistair Begg - Truth For LifeVal's Book: Wearing All Your Hats without Wearing Out: Finding Focus to be the Masterpiece God Intended Podcast Episode 3: Ways to Love Your Child from Toddler to Teen, and Learning to Let Them Grow UpCONNECT with Val:Subscribe to my Monday Email containing blog post and podcast:   Val's Facebook Private Community Intentional Mom, Strong Family   Val's Instagram: Val for your next Mom's event in person or via zoom at
Growing Heroes & Helping Weaknesses - the positive habit of audio adventures w/ guest Jim Hodges, Episode 48.Read Val's Blog Post regarding this episode HERE (get Val's weekly podcast & blog emailed to you every Monday by going here and entering your email address)If you’ve known me for awhile, then you know that I’ve been living the mom life for almost 27 years. From those nearly three decades of raising seven children, I would rank what we’re talking about today in my top ten habits that shaped my children’s character, shaped their worldview, their wisdom – the application of knowledge, and  shaped their life pursuits – their perspective on venturing into the unknown, setting goals, being obstacle over-comers. Today, we’re talking about making quality, wholesome, character-building AUDIO ADVENTURES a routine part of your child’s life.  Our family has had many family adventures thanks to our podcast guest this week!  He is a professional voice performer and one of my family's favorite story tellers, Jim Hodges of Jim Hodges Audio Books.  Jim & I have a lively discussion about lots of things, including how weaknesses in our kids can lead to great adventures, a game-changing tip for slow readers, and the impact of quality content on the shaping of our child's character!About  this week's guest, Jim Hodges:  Jim Hodges is a committed Christian, husband to Monica for 40 years, father of 3 grown home-schooled children, and Navy retiree. Monica once asked what his dream job would be? He answered "I'd record books." And so began Jim Hodges Audio Books, producing (at last count!) 30 unabridged recordings of the G. A. Henty historical novels, plus 50 other family friendly recordings. Check out Jim Hodge's SPECIALS including a  FREE Download & a monthly subscription service that saves 66%! Get a FREE Download from Jim:'s SPECIAL for August 2020 Jim's Monthly Club for getting 60% off your choice of a monthly download: with Val:Subscribe to my Monday Email containing my blog post and podcast:   Val's Facebook Private Community Intentional Mom, Strong Family   Val's Instagram: Val for your next Mom's event in person or via zoom:
Intentional parents, it is never too late to pivot, apologize, and course correct.  The sooner you do, the sooner you'll get to enjoy the wonderful, undeserved harvest even for the mistaking parent.  When we parents learn the hard way, we aren't the only ones who suffer. Our children bare the brunt of our errors and for those of us who love our kids deeply, which is most of us, the guilt can be overwhelming!  We serve a redeeming God and He's good at giving us second chances to love well.I've come to find that God our Heavenly Father is the perfect example of boundless love that is full of both mercy and high standards all rolled into one. I call it Mercy Seat Parenting and you can read about it in my book  Wearing All Your Hats without Wearing Out: Finding Focus to be the Masterpiece Family God Intended.   or E-Book 💕If you want your kids to come to you when they're wrestling with life's sticky issues, 💕if you want them to hear your warnings and reproofs,💕 if you want to be a main voice in their decisions as they get older,  you have to have proven to them that you are a safe haven for their hearts and thoughts.We earn the right to maintain influence in our older children's lives.  Your reaction determines their future openness with you. Read more on my blog (publishes noon every Monday).Click here to go to Val's BLOG for Episode #47ResourcesVal's book, Clash in Your Home: Getting a Game Plan for Cleaning Up the Conflict         E-BookVal's Live WORKSHOP Download only $4 for a limited time. Clash In Your Home LIVE WorkshopYour Family, God's Masterpiece THREE BOOK SPECIAL on $32:    Click Here    (Includes Clash In Your Home, Wearing All Your Hats without Wearing Out, and When Littles are Loud)Click here to listen to Part 1: The Hope-Filled Life of the Mistaking ParentCONNECT with Val:Subscribe to my Monday Email containing blog post and podcast:   Val's Facebook Private Community Intentional Mom, Strong Family   Val's Instagram: Val for your next Mom's event in person or via
The Hope-Filled Life of a Mistaking Parent including a Mother & Son Discussion between The Practically Speaking MOM and her oldest son, Nathan.This week's podcast is a lesson learned the hard way by a Mistaking Parent (me), and God's grace for all of us imperfect moms! You'll also hear the beginning of a mother and son discussion between me, The Practically Speaking MOM, and my oldest son, Nathan, who is now grown and married.  That conversation will finish up next week. We're calling this series The Hope-Filled Life of the Mistaking Parent. Now that might not sound like a very hopeful topic, but it is. The wonderful thing about letting our merciful God lead us in parenthood is that he can bring HAPPY HARVEST even into the lives of IMPERFECT PARENTS. After all, we're all imperfect.  As an intentional parent. I am constantly in the process of peeling away the layers of me that are not good for me, or not good for those around me. Today I'm being vulnerable and sharing some of the layers I had to peel away. But as I mentioned, there is victory at the end of this story, a time of harvest for a very imperfect parent. "Moms, I know you wouldn't be checking out a blog or podcast on "becoming more intentional to build strong families" if you didn't already love deeply. I know you love deeply. I loved deeply, but I wasn't loving as well as my kids needed me to be. My husband was sweet but not strong enough and I was harsh and unpalatable. We needed to learn that we had some work to do on learning to love well. We needed God to direct us to a better way, so we became very open to God's direction on parenting. We studied and grew and studied and grew. Eventually God gave us a guide for parents that we call "Your Love Becomes Their Strength: Answering the Six Questions of Your Child's Heart." This material, that eventually developed from our searching  the heart of God regarding loving our children well, became something we taught in Sunday school class settings, large convention settings. I've taught to moms' groups and small groups. It's now my most requested speaking topic! These questions are: 💎Am I worth treasuring?  🎁Am I worth knowing?  🔒Am I worth protecting?  🥇Am I worth believing in?  👪Am I worth including?  🤗Am I worth restoring? "For a short time, I have a full-length workshop "Your Love Becomes Their Strength" on my website for only $4.  Click here if you're interested in that download.  All workshop downloads are only there for a limited time, so you might want to get all of them before they're gone. Resources:Val's Blog: Hope for the Mistaking Parent (new blog post publishes every Monday at noon)Val's Workshop:Your Love Becomes Their Strength Val's Book: Wearing All Your Hats Without Wearing OutCONNECT with Val:Subscribe to my Monday Email containing blog post and podcast:   Val's Facebook Private Community Intentional Mom, Strong Family   Val's Instagram: Val for your next Mom's event in person or via zoom
Pt 3 of Managing STRESS in Mom & Child: Counteracting the Harmful Impacts of Stress w/ guest Amanda Colliatie, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist(Be sure to checkout the coordinating blog post on Val's website)In this episode Amanda shares all of these Buffers to Stress:*How to have Good Sleep Habits *STATUE PARENTING for teens and tweens*The role of Exercise and a Healthy Diet in diminishing the affects of stress including reducing inflammation* PLANNING AHEAD - when we have a plan we feel like we have structure and this also REDUCES TIME URGENCY.  Find things you can do slowly ON PURPOSE.*Deep Breathing, Prayer, Meditation*Maximizing your best times of day to have an UP time and a DOWN time or rest time.  Both are important.*Quiet Family Time or Alone Quiet Time to de-stress*Journaling (see the coordinating blog post to see a list of questions to use for de-stressing journaling)*Mental Health - finding a buffering person, or a small group such as a church small group, where you feel safe sharing, or it could be that you need to reach out to a licensed therapist, such as Amanda. All of these layers of  human connection can help your mental health:One on one buffer personSmall Group (such as a church small group)Large Group worshipTherapistAnd then sometimes, you may need to "ditch a group" if that group isn't helping your life or your relationships."It's important to remember that regardless of the stress that is going on, you are unbelievably powerful for buffering your family's stress. Studies show that you really only need to get it right about 35% of the time.  You don't have to be perfect to have kids that are doing okay. So be encouraged!" Amanda Colliatie, LMFTVal talks about how to get kids' on board with monitoring their stress levels and reminds us that kids' minds need time to create, problem solve, hear God's voice, reflect - Don't keep noise such as the t.v. or radio- as a CONSTANT wallpaper in their life.  They need time for quiet, too!This episode ends with Val and Amanda praying for all the wonderful intentional mamas that listen to this ministry.Amanda Colliatie is a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist in Wichita, Kansas. Her practice at Encounter Freedom Therapy Center website or Facebook page is dedicated to providing skilled therapy that is safe, affordable, and practical.ResourcesSources for some of Amanda's concepts:  A Mind Frozen in Time: A PTSD Recovery Guide by Dr. Jeremy P. Crosby, Dr. Nadine Burke Harris’ book The Deepest Well: Healing the Long-Term Effects of Childhood Adversity,   SAMHSA Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration's National Child Traumatic Stress Initiative (NCSTI),  Brandon Peters, MD,  Episode 13 Mom's mental Health w/ Amanda Colliatie.CONNECT with Val:   Val's Facebook Private Community Intentional Mom, Strong FamilyBe sure to connect with Val on Instagram to get more of the Behind the Scenes & Life w/ Val and Her Family!  Look for Practically Speaking MOM on Instagram!
BUFFERING Techniques for Stress in Our & Our Kids' Lives - from Guest Amanda Colliatie, LMFT  Click here to read Blog. 1. Build Up - Be a force against the negativity in our kid's life. Notice the things they're doing well.   Praise them for what they're doing right. Be quick to repair when the relationship has been compromised.  Choose your words carefully when you need to correct them.  2. Meaningful Touch - It's connecting and reassuring, especially in times of stress.  (If they, by nature, don't like to be touched, this would be an exception to keep in mind.)3. Finding a HEALTHY Escape -  such as reading, playing with a pet... Do something to step out of the stress for a short time.  But notice when the escape becomes unhealthy. 4. Be Responsive - We were made to connect with people. Eye contact, talking, interacting are all ways to be responsive and thus bring soothing to your stressed out child.Pt 3 will contain the rest of Amanda's list!Val on Transferring Self-Sufficiency to our Kids even regarding Stress:"As intentional Moms, we want to be constantly in the process of  Transferring Self-Sufficiency to our kids in all areas of their life.  This is a long process, but an important one."  Here's how to Transfer Self-Sufficiency to our kids in every area, including in equipping them 1. Set a good example of monitoring your own stress, mom.  Taking time for MARGIN & watching for SIGNS & SYMPTOMS of stress reaching an unhealthy level.2. Equip your kids with Good Stress Management Habits3. Teach them the philosophy behind the good habit - teach them why it matters.Amanda Colliatie is a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist in Wichita, Kansas. Her practice at Encounter Freedom Therapy Center website or Facebook page is dedicated to providing skilled therapy that is safe, affordable, and practical.Don't ignore the SIGNS that your stress is too much for your body.  Don't make the mistake I made by waiting until the road back to health is a very long road.  At the end of today's episode I share  a way that I've found to reduce inflammation in my body.  Here's a  brand that I like (this is not affiliate link) Look for 95% curcuminoids as an ingredient and Black Pepper (BioPerine).Amanda's Sources:   Dr. Nadine Burke Harris’ book The Deepest Well: Healing the Long-Term Effects of Childhood Adversity,   The Gottman Institute,  CONNECT with Val:   Val's Facebook Private Community Intentional Mom, Strong Family
2020 has provided plenty of stress for ALL of us.  Today, on the Practically Speaking MOM podcast we're learning how to identify signs of stress and deal with the Grizzly Bears in the room!  We're facing stress head on with our guest stress expert, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist Amanda Colliatie!  In week one of three, we look at the aspects below regarding stress.  Then the next two weeks we'll talk about ways to BUFFER stress.Everyone will experience stress and it's normal and healthy, as long as it stays in a healthy level.  We don't need to try to keep all stress away from our children.  Equip our kids to read stress signs and handle stress effectively.Two Types of Stress1. Physical Stress, positive or negative2. Psychological Stress, positive or negativeLevels of Stress1. Normal level of stress that is healthy to experience, mild hassles, minor issues.2. Moderate stress from major life changes - job promotions, move, new baby, death of a loved one, medical diagnosis.3. Toxic stress - stress overload, chronic, overwhelmed, circumstances seem unmanageable feeling hopeless or helpless, thinking about giving upWarning Signs to watch for in Toxic Stress*Small things trigger big feelings*Increased levels of worry, insecurity...*Changes in mood - anxiety, impatient, hopeless*Trouble Sleeping*Consuming more substances that is more than your usual*Life is feeling out of control and you decrease in your ability to functionWhen you see these symptoms, don't REACT but DIG DEEPER, and have an appropriate RESPONSE that can move toward healing or calm.How are you doing at watching for the symptoms in yourself and family members?  Are you overlooking the signs? Are you reacting quickly or having thoughtful response to your stressed-out family member.We also look at some of the physical affects of stress in your body.  Toxic stress affects your body, mind, and emotions.  Extreme stress impacts our bodies as if you're being attacked by a grizzly bear.  What feels like a grizzly bear in your child's life? Or in your own life?    It's time for us to face the bears in our life or the life of our kids - whether they are in us or in our environment.  When is it time to get professional help? We talk about EMDR, a brain-based therapy and finding healing with this method.Amanda Colliatie is a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist in Wichita, Kansas. Her practice at Encounter Freedom Therapy Center website or Facebook page is dedicated to providing skilled therapy that is safe, affordable, and practical.ResourcesSources for some of Amanda's concepts:  A Mind Frozen in Time: A PTSD Recovery Guide by Dr. Jeremy P. Crosby, Dr. Nadine Burke Harris’ book The Deepest Well: Healing the Long-Term Effects of Childhood Adversity,   SAMHSA Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration's National Child Traumatic Stress Initiative (NCSTI),  Episode 13 Mom's mental Health w/ Amanda Colliatie.CONNECT with Val:   Facebook Private Community:
Every child longs for a loving father.  Every child has a perfect Heavenly Father, and either an imperfect or absent earthly father.  On today's podcast, we'll be talking about all of that - the harmful father, the absent father, the imperfect but loving father, and your child's Heavenly Daddy.   This is an episode of honor and hope as well as some inspiration for marriage and some role modeling of fatherhood, too.  Even the good dads aren't perfect,  but those imperfect loving dads are probably accomplishing more than you might think!No matter what kind of father is in your child's life, even if they have no father at all, your child has a faithful, perfect, loving Heavenly Daddy.   We'll take a brief look at three types of fathers: ⬜The Harming Father⬜The Absent Father⬜The Loving, Imperfect FatherAnd you'll be reminded that no matter what kind of father your child has experienced, they have a loving, Heavenly Daddy who is always with them!Special Thanks, this week, to four dear mamas who were kind enough to share some wisdom.  They each had an absent or harming father experience, and I asked them if they could give me words of wisdom  to pass along to all of you, our Intentional Mom community.  We have moms in all kinds of circumstances, including moms who are raising their children alone.  This is a message of hope for you as well as some practical steps to take if your children don't have a loving father in their life.But that's just a portion of today's special edition episode!  You'll hear from all seven of my children as they recorded some surprise messages.  Each shares from their heart about what mattered most  in their life  regarding their dad, my husband, Rich.  This entire episode was a surprise to my husband, Rich, as he is the editor and publisher of the podcast each week.  Sneaking in an episode without him was a lot of fun for me and the kids  Join in our little surprise, won't you!  It even ends with a short tribute song to their dad, sung by our three youngest children.Resources Mentioned in this episodeFocus on the Family Help line - 1-855-771-HELP (4357)Book: Different Children, Different Needs  by Charles BoydVal's workshop audio: Help! My Home is Full of Difficult Personalities, and One of Them is Mine!Episode 26: Root Parenting: Digging Deeper into the Four Root Areas Behind Your Child's BehaviorEpisode 25: Root Parenting vs. Surface ParentingAndrew Peterson's music and products: andrew-peterson.comCONNECT with Val:  Instagram Practically Speaking MOM Facebook Private Community:
Behind the Scenes w/ Four Sisters and their Practically Speaking MOM, Episode 41.Join us today for lots of laughs and lots of honesty!This episode is a special treat to me -  visiting with all four of my daughters together in the studio.  We all gathered around the microphone to laugh and to tell the truth about sibling life, family values, fighting fair, and more. The Practically Speaking MOM podcast is unique in that it's a family podcast - you've met all seven of our children in different episodes (except Nathan, who produces the music and we have an episode lined up for you to meet him later this summer).  My husband, Rich, and I give several hours a week to the podcast and then all the rest of the family chips in with their abilities or experiences.   Here's what we talk about on this special sisters edition of the podcast (I ask questions and they answer them):💞 What were our CORE FAMILY VALUES and how did we implement them in our home?💕 What SIBLING RELATIONSHIP BELIEFS did we establish and how?💞Because children aren't born knowing how to interact in conflict in a healthy way, we have to teach them how.  In the podcast we talk about SIBLING SQUABBLES & I share a simple method for teaching kids how to REPAIR RELATIONSHIP...💕To share bedrooms or not to share sibling bedrooms...💞Sibling Arguments - Should we let our kids "work it out for themselves" or should we step in to help them resolve conflict?💕What was effective in helping to grow such strong sibling bonds between you seven kids?  What fostered life-long friendships between you? 💞How did it affect the relationship to work hard together?And what was some of the hard work you did?💕When parents fall short, as I did and do many times, how does this affect you guys?  What about the gaps in our parenting? How did that impact you kids? 💞Was limiting technology an important part of building strong sibling bonds?  💕Volunteering taught you...CONNECT with Val:   Facebook Private Community:
 Chat with Val - Favs for a Healthy Body & Mind. Also, a Legacy Dream Come True! Episode 40❓Do you ever get tired of telling kids "no" they can't watch that movie or show or listen to that music or play that game? ❗Help is here!!! This week on the podcast, I share with you a plan  to reduce that stress, to help you say "no" less because your child has learned to discern and filter to protect their own heart and mind - the process of teaching them to be a gatekeeper to their heart. ❤It's a week about Guarding Our Hearts - Body & Mind             ✔I know you're an intentional parent.  Now help them become intentional to establish good habits and be comfortable with tough conversations - learn how to do this with me on the podcast this week!  Proverbs 4:23 says, "Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it" Please take the time to learn how to do that with your kids in our culture today by listening to this week's podcast!The episode wraps up as I share about a DREAM COME TRUE for me and my  husband's legacy!  What legacy dreams do you have and are you praying for and working toward?   I go into great detail for how we utilize at each stage of childhood from the younger years, to the middle years,  to the upper years.  You need a plan for protecting their heart and mind  AND a plan for teaching them to protect their own heart and mind.  Hear what alternative to rules we have for TV & movies, how we have  conversations about culture topics, what our process is for gradually teaching our children how to be strong GATEKEEPERS OF THEIR OWN HEART & MIND.The culture plan that I share in this episode cuts down on so much stress about the loud cultural messages on TV, movies, music, and games - all of which are reviewed thoroughly on  and I teach you how to use it to it's greatest potential in this episode, so please listen to this important topic.If you want to see your child thrive, equip them for these life issues with a clear system that teaches them along the way how to BECOME their own gatekeeper.  This is one of the most important things we can do - protect their heart & mind, and transferring that responsibility to them. Let me show you how TODAY, on episode 40!Business teacher Michael Hyatt, in an article, "Your Most Important Leadership Tool - Three Reasons Why You Must Guard Your Heart," says "If your heart is unhealthy, it threatens everything else 1. becasue your heart is extremely valuable 2. because your heart is the source of everything you do 3. because your heart is under constant  attackI am seeking to raise leaders who don't cower to bullies, shrink back from obstacles, or linger in the cesspool in the depraved alleys of our world.My long term goal is that they'd be in the habit of thinking before they expose their minds to the things that are destructive to their hearts.. Learn how on today's podcast!Mentioned: Spice and Tea Exchange that's located at the Branson Landing.  When you go, also visit Nika's OliveCONNECT with Val:   Facebook Private Community:
Every day a new page of history is written.  Are we teaching our children how to ✅examine it, ✅respond to it, ✅be impacted by it, ✅lead others through it, ✅LEARN FROM IT?  No one would argue with the fact that 2020 has been an unprecedented collection of new days of history.  Are we engaging our children in the treasured task of being shaped by history and simultaneously shaping it?  I want my kids to be leaders in tomorrow's pages of the past. If we want them to be effective, loving leaders, NOW is the time to take our role seriously.Click here to go to Val's blog post on this episode, which contains all the links to Resources for You and Your Family as you Become a Social Studies FamilyWe’ve all heard the quote by Winston Churchill saying, "Those that fail to learn from history, are doomed to repeat it."   I would suggest that when we hear that quote we often fail to pay attention to one key phrase, “LEARN FROM” – "Those that fail to LEARN FROM history, are doomed to repeat it.” Reading some facts in a textbook about a past event, cramming lots of those facts into our brain while we study for a test, and then quickly forgetting those facts, that is not LEARNING FROM history. That is more like window shopping through history – taking a shallow little scenic tour but not going in and          experiencing it, allowing it to impact our perspective, shape our worldview, affect our decision-making, form our character,and compel us to lead others toward truth and good deeds.These are the things that I want history, including current history-in-the-making to accomplish for my kids.Well, my friends, I tell you all that to explain why I brought a history guy onto the podcast this week. It’s because I believe that LEARNING FROM history with our children is an important part of intentional parenting to build strong kids who become strong leaders who shape history.  At the end of this blog post, be sure to use the link to a FREE 90 Day Membership to the Notgrass History resources site!Can we have a heart to heart right now? In recent days,  a series of tragic racial scenarios emerged in the news followed by peaceful protests and  dangerous, destructive riots, yet the interview fits perfectly with this important time.These current events, that have been heavy on all of us, are reshaping my heart and what conversations I am having with my kids in hopes that it shapes their hearts, in hopes that the world we hand off for our children to lead, will be a place that they’ve been equipped for the challenges at hand. How do we do this? Listen to Raising Loving Leaders, episode 39 to find out!CONNECT with Val: www.PracticallySpeakingMOM.comPublic announcements & Resources Facebook page:   
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