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Practically Speaking Mom: Intentional Mom, Strong Family
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Practically Speaking Mom: Intentional Mom, Strong Family

Author: Val Harrison

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Do you long to be a more intentional mom but you feel overwhelmed or weary or just don't have a clear path to the next step toward a successful family life? The Practically Speaking MOM, Val Harrison, is here to bring some order to the chaos and some focus to the confusion. You don’t have to be the perfect mom to have a strong family, you need a plan! Join author, speaker, and mother of seven, as she shares wisdom and encouragement about the six areas of an intentional mom's life.You'll learn from her years of experience, successes, mistakes and redemption. Val and her husband Rich, married 27 years, have three married children, two more in college, and two in her homeschool. This podcast covers all stages of parenting, from babies to toddlers to teens and beyond. Val wants to encourage you to not become weary in your work as an intentional mom, "Even with all its unique personalities, imperfections and scars; your family is God's masterpiece. Your efforts matter in this worthy journey of motherhood. Let's walk this path together!"
11 Episodes
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Episode 10: Time-Saving Strategies for Busy Homes, Part 3.Quotes"These systems increase simplicity and they also increase self-discipline in our kids."  "Recognize that your kids' hearts and souls require tending to build their character and to help them to become the people that God really created them to be. Having systems in place allows you more time with your kids. Maybe one of them is going through a difficult thing and you want to slow down and pray with them, let them know that the God of the universe is also personal and loves them specifically and directly.That requires slowing down a little bit. That is why I've got these systems for you."'Why am I talking about our kids' internet usage in a time-saving strategies podcast? It's because having a family internet agreement saves us so much time in multiple ways. Such as, I don't have to wrestle with myself about what my rules are going to be today with the kids regarding internet. Otherwise, if I didn't have a clear plan for internet usage in our home, then on days when I was tired or sick or overwhelmed, then I would be very tempted to be very lax on those rules. And that's when things end up happening is when we're distracted as parents."Resources (some are affiliate links):Internet Usage AgreementNet Nanny Filtering service, Covenant Eyes accountability serviceSimple Systems for Homeschool SuccessBlog post about my sticky note system with three Brain Books.Blog post about Save Your Sanity- one hour a week  meal prep.Raising a Luke 2:52 ChildWhen Littles are Loud: Maximizing the Moments without Drowning in ChaosWhen Little are Loud, blog post part 1The Tech Wise Family by Andy CrouchConnect with Val: www.PracticallySpeakingMOM.com, Join Val's Facebook group for Intentional Moms, Follow on Instagram and Facebook page
 Listener Q&A (consequences, child's weaknesses, mom's mistakes), Episode 9.  Plus Meet Val's Son, Andrew.Resources (some are affiliate links)Free Val's video workshop on Time Saving Strategies (slides in youtube shownotes)Free Slides to Time Saving Strategies printableLove Works: Seven Timeless Principles for Effective Leaders by Joel ManbyStrength Finders 2.0 by Tom RathDo Hard Things by Brett and Alex HarrisQuestion: "How do we handle it when we make a mistake as a mom?""Sometimes, when we make mistakes as a mom and we apologize to our kids about that, that's a more effective lesson in their life than if we had gotten it right at the beginning... It's not our role to be perfect.  It's our role to model for our kids how to apologize when we've made a mistake, to learn from our mistakes, to listen to God for direction in our life and that we're mold-able to his direction.  Let them see you be excited that God is showing you something new in your character that you can work on."Question about dealing with our child's weaknesses"Most of the time, our kids' weaknesses are strengths in disguise.  It's like the strength is inside a treasure chest and the weaknesses have it all locked up and we want to help them throw off the weaknesses or work on the weaknesses so that you can unlock that treasure chest and fully experience the strength!""We want to be discovering our children.  God created each of them uniquely with all of these wonderful hidden, uhhh wonderfulnesses! And we want to discover those and hone them and help them to balance their life. And that's just one of the great privileges of being a parent - studying your child."Topic of appropriate consequences"Appropriate consequences, coupled with a gentle, humble, grace-filled spirit helps their heart today and prepares them for life tomorrow"."Our consequences are going to be given lovingly and mercifully and appropriately... Either they're going to learn from appropriate consequences in our home where we can save them from a whole lot of heartache later or they're going to learn from consequences in the world  later in a much more heartache-filled way."Consequences should match the offense.Too small of a consequence -teaches them to have a low standard -teaches them not to value your word -teaches them to harbor complacency in their heart which makes us feel badly about ourselvesToo strong of consequences can cause wounds in the relationship and actually are counterproductive in keeping the child from learning from their error.  They are distracted by the inappropriate consequences and learn nothing, yet grow resentful. Connect with Val: www.PracticallySpeakingMOM.com, Join Val's Facebook group for Intentional Moms, Follow on Instagram and Facebook page
Intentional Marriage, 8: *Moms find serenity moments in your day *Single mom's marriage perspective *Your marriage can be redeemed!! *Meet Val's husband as they discuss what principle God used to transformed their marriage, including a short, original marriage song at the end Quotes from Episode 8"Mom, find some serenity spots in your life so that you can have a moment of peace every day.""Single moms, I know you're probably feeling like tuning out for this episode. I just want to encourage you not to do that. If your child marries some day, you want them to have a strong marriage and a healthy perspective about marriage and you can influence that even if you are not married. No matter your situation with your child's other parent, you can honor them in your attitude, actions, and words.  You may not be able to respect them or trust them or condone their actions, but you can be honoring about them for your children's sake.""I had to care enough about the strength of our marriage to set aside my emotions that I wanted to have and replace them with what is best for our marriage.  If I do that, then in the end that's best for me too - to be in the middle of a strong marriage is of course more blessing-filled in every possible way than if I just stand on my end of the tug-of-war rope and pull with all my might."Main Points:Times away together to re-calibrate on what is important and how are we doing at it?Praying  with our Creator to show us what healthy marriage looks like.Keep a notebook - writing down what we were doing right, what we were doing wrong, and what's the better way.ONENESS, a pinnacle philosophy that shaped several principles that we are very committed to now in our marriage. We'll be sharing these principles with you in marriage moment segments in future podcastsONENESS is...*a mini picture of what the Trinity is (Father, Son, Holy Spirit)  three separate personhoods with unique personalities yet completely one. Nothing separating them. Fully aligned. It's a mystery. *Oneness is... a healthy marriage, a little mini Trinity, of husband and wife and God all working together to be more than we would be on our own.*Oneness is a new entity that needs to be nurtured and cared for with intentionality- complete truth, openness, honoring my spouse, honoring oneness, tenderness, sensitivity,  vulnerability, faithful physically, mentally, and emotionally, accountability (wife & husband).Action Steps: 1. Identify in your marriage what nourishes this marriage and what safeguards do we need to protect it?2. If we want our family to be Uniquely United, that begins with our marriage first.  How can we better honor the unique qualities that each of us bring to the betterment of our marriage? Are we allowing that blend to produce something greater than we could be on our own?"We are learning a different perspective. Turning our struggles from different directions into striving together.We're striving together for more than we could have been on our own before.Still you. Still me. With a new Entity of One."Instrumental music written by NathanHarrison.music@gmail.com. Lyrics by rich and val harrison.ResourcesEvery Man's Battle Every Woman's Battle Preparing Your Son for Every Man's Battle (these are affiliate links) Value Cards (not affiliate link)NOTE: While we only talk about the husband's accountability in this episode, it is something for BOTH spouses to do.  I'll share more about that later!CONNECT : Val would love to hear from you!!  Share your questions &a
7. Giving Kids the Habit of Happiness. Work Ethic in Littles, Middles, and Teens; Success Habits for Teens from GAINING MOMENTUM: Preparing Your Student for Success with or without CollegeQuotes from Episode"We want our kids to fully experience what God created them to be,  in the life He created them to live.""We want them to become strong leaders who are leading people in the right direction, which builds stronger communities and a stronger nation. And leading them to Christ and a life in Christ."John Maxwell says, "Leaders don't rise to the pinnacle of success without developing the right set of attitudes and habits. They make every day a masterpiece."Top 4 Skills for Equipping My Kids for a Successful, Abundant Life:1. People Skills - interacting effectively and positively with others2. Adaptability -flexibility, overcoming obstacles3. Integrity - doing what is right no matter what4. Wok Ethic - having a high standard of excellence in all we do-having good follow through, even when it's difficult,-able to work independently-maintaining a good attitude Negative Things that Happen when Moms Try to do Everything Themselves:1. You don't accomplish what you're supposed to, because you're busy doing other things2. Others don't accomplish what God intended for them to accomplish because you're doing their things.3.You end up being at your worst because it's all too much for you4.If you try to do everything for your family, it makes your family weak by missing opportunities for your children to develop good character qualities through hardworkWhen your child hasn't done a good job at a task, evaluate if you taught the task thoroughly and clearly:-Did you SHOW them how to do it, talking about all the details?-Did you WATCH them do it while talking about all the details?-Did you EVALUATE it with praise and correction with a high STANDARD of excellence?-Did you continue to FOLLOW UP with praise and correction the next several times after teaching the task?If you didn't do these steps, don't be upset with them on their performance. Reteach them better this time.Teens Success Habits, Success Portfolio, and Parent/Teen Young Adult Relationship Help is in Gaining Momentum: Preparing Your Student for a Career with or without College or as an Ebook (the ebook is an affiliate link to Amazon.  I will get a small commission from anything you purchase from Amazon in the next 24 hrs if you purchase through this link, even if you don't end up purchasing the Ebook).RecommendationFor Teens and Older: Failing Forward by John Maxwell (an affiliate link) For teaching chores: Wearing All Your Hats without Wearing Out or the Ebook version - the Ebook is an affiliate link).CONNECT with the Practically Speaking MOM - Val would love to hear from you!!  Share your questions, thoughts and ideas with Val and the Intentional Mom community:https://www.practicallyspeakingmom.com/podcast -subscribe to the podcasthttps://www.facebook.com/groups/1467972243355843/ -joining Val's private Facebook Group "Intentional Mom, Strong Family"http://practicallyspeakingmom.buzzsprout.com/ - for complete transcript
Quotes from Episode 6 Parenting Middles & Teens, Negative Self-Talk, What Teens Aren't Telling You:"We can either fight the reality that they're starting to look more outward now for their influences rather than toward us, or, we can face this reality, decide to be intentional about it, and get a game plan for the teen years.""What they're struggling with on the inside, these are the more critical things than the things that they're struggling with on the outside."What I've Observed in the middle years1.They're figuring out social skills about themselves so be sure to be teaching them people skills.2. They're being absentminded for a reason - have grace and try the two techniques mentioned.3.They're turning more outward for their influences so pray for their influencers and build bridges with their influencers. Also- Watch carefully the different ways your introvert or extrovert teen or preteen handles this time.-Be a visionary to help them see what they don't see in themselves (learn about being a Visionary Parent in my book, Wearing All Your Hats without Wearing Out or the Ebook version - the Ebook is an affiliate link).-Be their biggest cheerleader as you help them find something to win at, which volunteering can be a great way to feel like they're winning!Val and youth director, Tori, on how to parent Gen Z'ers:-Middle Schoolers, "Do you like me?" -High Schoolers, "Do I like you?"The world is telling them, "If you perform well, if you bring something to the table, if you have something to offer then you're worth something."Val shares some lessons she learned the hard way in parenting teenagers including applying Mercy Seat Parenting to the teen years -  and they discuss how to get teens to open up with parents about the hard things.Resources Recommended:Techwise Family by Andy Crouch currently on sale for $11.32 (reg $14.99) on Amazon (affiliate link)www.Axis.com especially the Culture Translator NewsletterYour Love Becomes Their Strength: Answering the Six Questions of Your Child's Heart mp3 download by Val Harrison, LIVE Workshop with slides included Only $4CONNECT with the Practically Speaking MOM - Val would love to hear from you!!  Share your questions, thoughts and ideas with Val and the Intentional Mom community:https://www.practicallyspeakingmom.com/podcast -subscribe to the podcasthttps://www.facebook.com/groups/1467972243355843/ -joining Val's private Facebook Group "Intentional Mom, Strong Family"https://www.instagram.com/practicallyspeakingmom/ -Follow Val on Instagram @PracticallySpeakingMOMhttps://www.facebook.com/PracticallySpeakingMom/ -Like Val's public Facebook page Practically Speaking MOMVisit the website www.PracticallySpeakingMOM.comFrom the Practically Speaking MOM ministry, you'll find practical ways to help you find your focus to be the masterpiece family God created you to be!Music by NathanHarrison.music@gmail.comhttp://practicallyspeakingmom.buzzsprout.com/ - for complete transcript and to l
Episode 2, Getting Kids to Listen the First Time:"Delegating Chores to your child isn't about making life easier for you.  It's about growing your kids' abilities, character, and work ethic, teaching them responsibility, building up self-esteem based on accomplishment and capability, equipping them for success habits in life, and to be over-comers in whatever obstacles that come up in their lives."Four Options with each Obligation in your life1. Do it (put it on a to-do list)2. Delegate it (keep a to-do list of the obligations that have been delegated so that you can followup)3. Dump it (sometimes even good things need to be reduced) 4. Leave UnDone and handle it with prayer -"God, give me Passion for YOUR purposes in my day and Peace about the things that you don't want me to get done"Create a code for your to-do list:C- calls you need to makeE- electronic tasks O- errands that I will do when outInitials of the people to whom I delegated tasks so that I can follow upStar by the "frog" task that you don't want to do and do it first!100% Habit - give full attention and full effort to whatever you're doing and teach this habit to your children.  This is learning to live life abundantly -John10:10 and doing well for the Lord's sake - Col 3:23.How to Followup with chores or tasks:Have a high yet attainable standard - a Standard of Excellence within reasonPraise what you want RepeatedAppropriate consequences when they don't follow through with what they're capable of and have been clearly prepped by you to doGetting Kids to Listen the 1st Time, Obey, or Obedience:Think before you speak: "Is what I'm about to say, am I willing to enforce it?" "Is what I'm about to ask them to do consistent with our family values and rules?"Be calm, clear, follow through consistently, have good eye contact when you tell them to do something and if they're little, also be near them.*Mean what you say or don't say it.*No must mean 'no' or it will mean, "Mom doesn't really mean no"*Say it once and then enforce so that you value your word*Be sure to hold to compliance to your word even when it's inconvenient to do soResources:Book: Eat that Frog: 21 Ways to Stop Procrastinating and Get More Done (this is an affiliate link so Val may receive a small percentage of this purchase).Book: Gaining Momentum: Preparing Your Student for Success with or without College. Book: Wearing All Your Hats Without Wearing Out   CONNECT with the Practically Speaking MOM - Val would love to hear from you!!  Share your questions, thoughts and ideas with Val and the Intentional Mom community: https://www.practicallyspeakingmom.com/podcast -subscribe to the podcasthttps://www.facebook.com/groups/1467972243355843/ -joining Val's private Facebook Group "Intentional Mom, Strong Family" https://www.instagram.com/practicallyspeakingmom/ -Follow Val on Instagram @PracticallySpeakingMOMhttp://practicallyspeakingmom.buzzsprout.com/ - for complete transcript and to listen with words on s
For the first ten min of the episode, Val is joined by her grown daughter, Becca who has two preschoolers. They discuss some techniques for developing Manners in your toddler.Then the final 20 min of the episode focus on how to handle lying in children elementary-age and up, including Root Parenting vs Surface Parenting and Mercy Seat Parenting.Steps to Dealing with Lying:1. Slow down to take time to do it well in order to preserve your relationship and to be the most impactful in reaching their heart on the issue.  Fight the urge to be reactionary.2. Let your child know that you need to take some time to pray while they're taking time to reflect on why they did it and possibly praying also. In this step you really are getting God's direction on what to do next.3.Evaluate if lying is a regular habit in your child or if it hardly ever happens (months between times).4.Evaluate how you as a parent have been modeling truth - valuing TRUTH, valuing truth in your relationship with your child AND in your relationship with God? 5.Root parenting vs. Surface parenting.  Evaluate what is going on in their heart right now?  Being a barometer.6. Go back to your child and ask questions. Not getting emotional or defensive with their answers.  7.Mercy seat parenting. This step will be explained in part 2 of Dealing with Lying in your ChildResources:Being a barometer of your child's heart is taught in Val's book, Wearing All Your Hats Without Wearing Out. https://www.practicallyspeakingmom.com/product-page/wearing-all-your-hats-without-wearing-out-from-chores-to-character-issues-to-ch?fbclid=IwAR0ktH4g78ZOJomwMe3_Ho9eSbcBAsX9WpHvjVAby8Ig9tLLZqE85EaHShsRoot Parenting is taught Val's books Clash in Your Home: A Game Plan for Cleaning Up the Conflict. https://www.practicallyspeakingmom.com/product-page/clash-in-your-home-a-game-plan-for-cleaning-up-the-conflict-our-family-god-s-m?fbclid=IwAR0ktH4g78ZOJomwMe3_Ho9eSbcBAsX9WpHvjVAby8Ig9tLLZqE85EaHShsand Wearing All Your Hats Without Wearing Out (linked above)CONNECT with the Practically Speaking MOM - Val would love to hear from you!!  Share your questions, thoughts and ideas with Val and the Intentional Mom community: https://www.practicallyspeakingmom.com/podcast -subscribe to the podcasthttps://www.facebook.com/groups/1467972243355843/ -joining Val's private Facebook Group "Intentional Mom, Strong Family" https://www.instagram.com/practicallyspeakingmom/ -Follow Val on Instagram @PracticallySpeakingMOMhttps://www.facebook.com/PracticallySpeakingMom/ -Like Val's public Facebook page Practically Speaking MOMVisit the website www.PracticallySpeakingMOM.comFrom the Practically Speaking MOM ministry, you'll find practical ways to help you find your focus to be the masterpiece family God created you to be!Music by NathanHarrison.music@gmail.comhttp://practicallyspeakingmom.buzzsprout.com/ - for complete transcript 
 Quote from Episode 3, The Top Priority and Letting Them Grow Up:"I was so busy trying to make sure that they were good, that I failed to make sure they knew they were pricelessly treasured.  Don't make the mistake I made."HIGHLIGHTS of Episode:What's the Top Priority from Toddlers to Teens?Fill their LOVE TANKS. *Fill the YOUNGEST *"love tank" first.  When a love tank is full they are able to play on their own better, be less clingy, and have more peace.Set a Timer for 5-10 minutes at the top of every hour with the toddler for focused time together.Middles - have a once a day "Mom & Me Time"          *Eye Contact      *Close in proximity  **** *Laughter or *****RESOURCES Mentioned on this Episode (some of these resources are affiliate links):The Five Love Languages of Children by Gary Chapman and Ross Campbell (affiliate link) How to Really Love Your Child by Ross CampbellThe Way of the Wild Heart by Jon EldredgeBlog Post by Val related to todays' episode including the Prayer for her GRADUATE: CONNECT with the Practically Speaking MOM - Val would love to hear from you!!  Share your questions, thoughts and ideas with Val and the Intentional Mom community: https://www.practicallyspeakingmom.com/podcast -subscribe to the podcasthttps://www.facebook.com/groups/1467972243355843/ -joining Val's private Facebook Group "Intentional Mom, Strong Family" https://www.instagram.com/practicallyspeakingmom/ -Follow Val on Instagram @PracticallySpeakingMOMhttps://www.facebook.com/PracticallySpeakingMom/ -Like Val's public Facebook page Practically Speaking MOMVisit the website www.PracticallySpeakingMOM.comFrom the Practically Speaking MOM ministry, you'll find practical ways to help you find your focus to be the masterpiece family God created you to be!Music by NathanHarrison.music@gmail.comhttp://practicallyspeakingmom.buzzsprout.com/ - for complete transcript 
Episode 2: Time Saving Strategies for Busy HomesMorning Prayer for Moms by Val:"God, Help me to have PASSION for YOUR Purposes in this day and PEACE about the things you don't want me to get done."http://practicallyspeakingmom.buzzsprout.com/ - for complete transcript HighlightsI spoke about the book, Wearing All Your Hats without Wearing Out, and we focused on the first two hats for reducing chaos and getting systems in place and changing your perspective about your role as mom:  Master Gardener - Planting seeds of growth in our kid's hearts, pulling out weeds of poor character, protecting them until their roots are deep enough to keep them strong to withstand the elements of the world, til we are at our ultimate goal of seeing them blossom into whoever God designed them to be!Manager of the Monkeys (all the obligations that pester moms constantly)- you're the MANAGER of all the monkeys not the DOER of all of the monkeys.  Each obligation: DO, DELEGATE, DUMP or LEAVE UNDONE. We talked about importance of giving a chore to your child in a way that teaches them responsibility and excellence, not just giving a chore to a child to make things easier for you as mom.  Evaluate which child should have which chores based on the ways they need to grow.  "We don't want to do what is easy for us, but what is effective for them to grow their abilities and character."Ephesians 2:10 "You are God's artwork created in Christ Jesus to do good works that He prepared in advance for you to do."Resources:Wearing All Your Hats Without Wearing Out https://www.practicallyspeakingmom.com/product-page/wearing-all-your-hats-without-wearing-out-from-chores-to-character-issues-to-ch?fbclid=IwAR0ktH4g78ZOJomwMe3_Ho9eSbcBAsX9WpHvjVAby8Ig9tLLZqE85EaHShsCONNECT with the Practically Speaking MOM - Val would love to hear from you!!  Share your questions, thoughts and ideas with Val and the Intentional Mom community: https://www.practicallyspeakingmom.com/podcast -subscribe to the podcasthttps://www.facebook.com/groups/1467972243355843/ -joining Val's private Facebook Group "Intentional Mom, Strong Family" https://www.instagram.com/practicallyspeakingmom/ -Follow Val on Instagram @PracticallySpeakingMOMhttps://www.facebook.com/PracticallySpeakingMom/ -Like Val's public Facebook page Practically Speaking MOMVisit the website www.PracticallySpeakingMOM.comFrom the Practically Speaking MOM ministry, you'll find practical ways to help you find your focus to be the masterpiece family God created you to be!Music by NathanHarrison.music@gmail.com http://practicallyspeakingmom.buzzsprout.com/ - for complete transcript 
Quote from Episode 1, Introduction to the Six Rooms of the Intentional Mom's Home:"If we can learn how to deal with the hectic obligations in a more effective way to simplify and to reduce chaos, then we're able to really focus on the things that we're designed for - such as living an abundant family life."  That's what this podcast is all about - helping a mom to be more intentional with her time and about her obligations, so that her family can thrive!Episode HighlightsSix Rooms of the Intentional Mom's Home:Family Room: Parenting children of all ages and stagesKitchen: Simplifying Meals, Healthy Meals Family Style, Mom's Health MattersLaundry Room: Organization, Chores, Household ManagementMaster Suite: Marriage IssuesSchool Room: Education Helps for All, plus HomeschoolingFront Porch: My Quiet Place with God and Mom Prayers, Self-care, Family Hosting, Family Volunteering, Home RenovationResources Mentioned in this Episode:"Your Love Becomes Their Strength: Answering the Six Questions of Your Child's Heart"    -Am I worth TREASURING?    -Am I worth KNOWING?    -Am I worth PROTECTING?   -Am I worth BELIEVING IN?    -Am I worth INCLUDING?   -Am I worth RESTORING? The above is an MP3 recorded LIVE and is available https://www.practicallyspeakingmom.com/product-page/your-love-becomes-their-strength  and includes printable workshop slides I teach about Root Parenting, Being a Barometer of Your Child, and Mercy Seat Parenting in Episode 4.Healthy family communication habits is taught in my book and taught LIVE on audio MP3, Clash In Your Home: Getting a Game Plan for Cleaning Up the Conflict. https://www.practicallyspeakingmom.com/shop"Help! My Home is Full of Difficult Personalities and One of Them is Mine!" is an mp3 recorded LIVE https://www.practicallyspeakingmom.com/product-page/live-audio-workshops-by-valCONNECT with the Practically Speaking MOM - Val would love to hear from you!!  Share your questions, thoughts and ideas with Val and the Intentional Mom community: https://www.practicallyspeakingmom.com/podcast -subscribe to the podcasthttps://www.facebook.com/groups/1467972243355843/ -joining Val's private Facebook Group "Intentional Mom, Strong Family" https://www.instagram.com/practicallyspeakingmom/ -Follow Val on Instagram @PracticallySpeakingMOMhttps://www.facebook.com/PracticallySpeakingMom/ -Like Val's public Facebook page Practically Speaking MOMVisit the website www.PracticallySpeakingMOM.comFrom the Practically Speaking MOM ministry, you'll find practical ways to help you find your focus to be the masterpiece family God created you to be!Music by NathanHarrison.music@gmail.comhttp://practicallyspeakingmom.buzzsprout.com/ - for complete transcript 
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