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A Cure for the Common Craig

Author: Common Craig

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A horror, trash, sci-fi, action podcast. The Common Craig, his wife, Nicole, and other contributors, discuss genre movies with their own brand of whimsical wit. Join them as they withstand the lengthy horrors of segments like the FOCUS OF FEAR! They decide whether a movie survives to live on in their collection, or meets a grisly demise in AMASS OR MURDER! Their bloodlust demands that an anthology movie does battle with itself, in the ANTHOLOGY DEATHMATCH! Will these depraved despots ever release and discuss their captives from the DUNGEON OF DIRECTORS? Or are they too busy carving up someone's career in another ACTOR AUTOPSY? The only way to find out, is to listen! Allow this to be YOUR cure, as well.
39 Episodes
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Look, I don't want to scare anyone, but I'm going to give it to you straight about Jason. While we may be covering Friday the 13th: The Final Chapter (1984), this may not actually BE the final chapter. Hey, when Paramount saw that money pouring in at the box office, you'd better believe that they were happy that they left the series open for another sequel. The Common Craig also shares a quick review of the recent Shout! Factory/Scream Factory release of the Friday the 13th Collection, Deluxe Edition, Blu-ray set. And then from there, Micki, Ryan and Jack are back! With a few more adventures, in the seemingly never-ending pursuit of retrieving cursed antiques, in Friday the 13th: The Series!
The 16th Annual A-Z of Horror Festival concludes. We reveal festival entries T-Z, in this episode, The Final Chapter! Prepare yourselves for an Anthology Deathmatch, as a funeral director tells tales to a group of hoodlums, while he seems to be luring them into the depths of the funeral parlor. Then, Roger Corman delivers what MUST be the source of inspiration, and yes, a TRUE prequel to the Back to the Future trilogy. Okay, that's probably not true, at all. We then meet a bat-lover named Herman, who keeps one in his jacket pocket, so he can pet it. Just like a kitten. A school teacher, who suffers from PTSD, after a rough situation with witch doctors in Africa, discovers that a small English village may be even worse. Those warm, lovable characters, Fox and Dana are back in action! Kevin Bacon has a serious problem with the ever-changing layout of the Airbnb he just rented, and may have some problems with wives, as well. And then from there, we travel to Pakistan! And whoa, wait just a second. Is that...Dracula???
The 16th Annual A-Z of Horror Festival continues. We reveal festival entries N-S, in this episode, Part 3. Christopher Lee and Peter Cushing investigate bizarre happenings at an orphanage, where the trustees, and perhaps even the children, seem to be up to something nefarious. A movie becomes an odd promotional vehicle for Hasbro, despite the fact that the item used in the movie is essentially a gateway to speak to the dead, which of course, then leads to the deaths of those who use it! Go out and buy that sucker, right now! Then, spirits are invading Japan through modern telecommunications devices and we are all in a hell of a lot of trouble. The Gill-man returns! And seems to be seeking revenge! But only after he's chained to the bottom of an aquarium. Who can blame him for being upset? And then from there, this year's festival gets its own theme movie! With kind of its own theme song. But ultimately, it comes down to which is worse. The song? Or the movie?
The 16th Annual A-Z of Horror Festival continues. We reveal festival entries I-M, in this episode, Part 2. I must have been really hungry when preparing this portion of the festival. We start things off with a group of would-be Satanists, consuming a particularly unhealthy portion of rabies-laced meat pies. Teenage boys find themselves being devoured by, arguably, the hottest girl in school. Environmentalists, on a crusade to thwart toxic waste from being dumped into a faraway tropical river, get gobbled up by the mutated wildlife. A holiday in the English countryside becomes a gut-munching nightmare, because of government experiments and a irrationally suspicious, judgmental police inspector. And then from there, a best-selling author crashes his car while driving in a blizzard and is NOT eaten. He is actually rescued. Kind of.
The Summer of Clive is in hell and it will NOT stay dead! Join us for some happy, good times, watch along fun with Clive Barker's Hellraiser (1987)! Sync up the episode while you watch Hellraiser and it will be like we're sitting right THERE on the couch with you! Annoying you with random facts and details! And plenty of inane reactions, I'm sure. What could be better than watching a movie with the Common Craig and Nicole, featuring skinless Frank and Julia, Cenobites and a lot of sadomasochistic shenanigans? And yes, Hellraiser is our featured letter H, in the 16th Annual A-Z of Horror Festival.
Welcome to the 16th Annual A-Z of Horror Festival. Join us, as we reveal and discuss movies for letters A-G. First, we spend time with some stereotypical, self-centered, 80s yuppies. Including one that seems to be a complete psychopath. Then, we have the misfortune of crossing paths with an irritating graverobber, who we just cannot seem to get rid of. A lonely man, who may or may not be impotent, and his non-speaking assistant, perform their daily duty of making sure that the dead, who happen to return to life, cannot actually leave their cemetery grounds. A classic story of alter ego, finds itself the subject of one of the finest horrors of the silent era. In her big screen debut, a horror icon tests the limits of just how many boob jokes she can squeeze into her dress before she busts right out of it! Vincent Price attempts to discover who murdered his brother, when his sister-in-law seems to be the only suspect. Where is that buzzing sound coming from? And then from there, the ancient Myrthian culture is reborn, when a man develops an insatiable taste for blood, after being stabbed with a ceremonial dagger.
SCANNERVERSARY

SCANNERVERSARY

2020-09-2501:53:00

We're doing this the SCANNER way! We're gonna suck your brains dry! Or maybe not. It's probably totally safe to listen to the show. Our one year anniversary show! A Cure for the Common Craig is one year old! And we're here to celebrate with David Cronenberg's 80s sci-fi/horror classic, Scanners (1981), as our Focus of Fear. And then from there, IF your head hasn't exploded by now, we address a few listener questions. Including a discussion about scream queens. Do they still exist in modern horror? Or is this an antiquated term? And hey, you might want to keep some super glue on hand to plug up the gushers, if your swelling veins begin to leak. Just an idea.
Get ready for another TITLE VERSUS TITLE face-off! But THIS time, it's ANTHOLOGY DEATHMATCH style! First, we're subjected to a deadly premonition, ghosts, a haunted mirror, a ventriloquist dummy...and golf. Which story survives the first deathmatch, in the classic anthology film from Ealing Studios, Dead of Night (1945)? Then, we jump ahead to Dead of Night (1977), for our second anthology deathmatch. This time, stories featuring time travel, vampirism and a ritual to bring a child back from a watery grave, battle it out in a three-way dance, to determine who comes out on top! And then from there, it's title versus title! Which movie reigns supreme and takes home the title as Dead of Night champion?
The Summer of Clive concludes, as we delve into something magical, with Lord of Illusions (1995). But is it true magic, or simply illusion? Scott Bakula LEAPS into the roll of Harry D'Amour, a detective with a nose for the occult, who tries to discover just that. For a fee, of course. But it has to be frustrating, trying to solve a case, when your efforts are constantly being disrupted by illusionists, vengeful magicians and filthy desert cult members. And it was supposed to be a nice, relaxing trip to L.A.!
The Summer of Clive continues with a raw meat double feature! Two more movies adapted from stories contained in Clive Barker's Books of Blood. First, Vinnie Jones and Bradley Cooper square off to determine who can be the better butcher, in the bowels of the New York City subway, on The Midnight Meat Train (2008). And then from there, we journey to Ireland, where a local farmer makes a terrible decision that unleashes a beast that wants to destroy, kill and eat pretty much everything in sight. Just don't get caught alone with Rawhead Rex (1986) in the churchyard.
Summer of Clive: Nightbreed

Summer of Clive: Nightbreed

2020-08-1001:50:59

The Tribes of the Moon welcome us to Midian. Or do they? Will Nicole and the Common Craig be ousted from this monster refuge for being too critical of Clive Barker's ambitious project? And will Decker and The Mask be waiting to cleanse us? Stay away from us, nutball David Cronenberg! The Summer of Clive continues with Nightbreed (1990), which we compare with the Director's Cut, released by Scream Factory on Blu-ray in 2014.
Summer of Clive: Candyman

Summer of Clive: Candyman

2020-07-3101:24:27

Welcome to the Summer of Clive. A series of episodes celebrating films based on the works of Clive Barker. First up, we venture into Candyman country, Cabrini Green, Chicago, Illinois. The urban legend seems to have its hook right at the throat of this community. But is it the urban legend? Or is it all too real? Writer/Director, Bernard Rose, reveals the secret in Candyman (1992), his movie adaptation of the Clive Barker short story, "The Forbidden." Will you be foolish enough to look in the mirror and say his name five times? Just don't look in the mirror and say Common Craig five times, please. I cannot guarantee that I'm wearing pants.
Nicole thought that this month would be a great time for a beach party, with the comedy troupe, Broken Lizard, as her guests of honor. Having been wanting to re-watch Club Dread (2004), she saw this as the perfect opportunity to work them into the podcast. But not so fast, Nicole! If we're going to watch a spoof of horror slashers that takes place at a resort, then you're going to have to suffer through some other beach horror. After years of seeing the VHS cover art, the Common Craig uses this episode as an excuse to finally watch Blood Beach (1980). Can it live up the classic poster art, or should it have stayed buried in the sand? And just who is the nastiest thing on the beach in the 60s? Radioactive sludge monsters or Tina covered in chocolate syrup? Find out in the epic horror musical, The Horror of Party Beach (1964)! And then from there, a motorcycle with a built-in electric chair? You'd better believe it! Or you will, when you see it in Nightmare Beach (1989).
That title says it all! Which movie is the most patriotic movie of ALL TIME? Can the financial might and star power of the Hollywood blockbuster, Independence Day (1996), crush its opponent into dust particles and then launch them into space? Or will the tiny, independent horror flick, Uncle Sam (1996), slice and dice its way through that whole alien invasion, before the fake president even has a chance to make that rousing speech? Get READY for the war to settle the score!
Adorable animals return for another assault! I never thought that it would be the bees. But it is definitely the BEES! And a few wasps. Nicole probably wishes that she had not suggested this topic, despite her frothing at the mouth at the opportunity to make fun of the Common Craig's MINOR bee phobia. First up, we discuss the origin of fear for the Common Craig, which oddly enough, may have ties to Spider-Man and his grandmother! And then from there, the buzzing begins with The Deadly Bees (1966) and unfortunately, continues on and on and on with Invasion of the Bee Girls (1973), The Savage Bees (1976), Terror Out of the Sky (1978), The Swarm (1978), The Bees (1978) and Stung (2015). Talk about a BUZZ-O-RAMA! But like, not in a good way...
If someone asks me to recall my favorite action hero, from my youth, and we're not counting He-Man, or Snake Eyes from G.I. Joe, the first name that is going to come to mind is SCHWARZENEGGER. So, as a little horror break, we're going to focus on a little gratuitous action violence, instead. And if you want gore, Total Recall (1990), certainly will not disappoint. This Martian mind bender will have your eyes bulging out of their sockets in no time! Assuming that you did not remember to pack the proper environmental gear before taking this trip, that is. And wait just a second! Not to be outdone, with its display of violence worthy of a slasher movie, or ten, is the 80s action classic, Commando (1985). And then from there, does anyone even remember The 6th Day (2000)? I guess. But probably not many. There may be a reason for that. But don't tune out just yet! We also discuss the recent documentary love letter to action movies of the 80s and 90s, In Search of the Last Action Heroes (2019). I hope that you're ready to be completely exhausted by all of the explosive excitement packed into the latest episode of A Cure for the Common Craig! Boom?
We're back! And yes, it's another movie full of gratuitous violence. But it's totally silly and just so much gosh darn fun, gosh darn it! See? I'm trying to keep everything very tame and innocent. Just like those trips to the mall in my youth. Until one of the security robots uses its lasers to make someone's head explode. What do you think that we might be discussing on THIS episode? Well, I guess that the title of the episode says it all, huh? That's right, it's Chopping Mall (1986)! This just happens to be the second featured episode focusing on one of the Lionsgate Blu-ray releases in their Vestron Video Collector's Series. Collect them all! And then listen to the episodes. Because we'll probably end up talking about all of them, eventually. And then from there, well, we talk even more about the Killbots and their killing spree inside the Sherman Oaks Galleria. So, if you like the smell of pepperoni and electrified Dick Miller, this is certainly going to be the kind of episode that would be a wonderful listen while you're making dinner. Enjoy!
Well, it was time to give poor Nicole a break from watching a bunch of old movies. Most of which she has been subjected to multiple times. She demanded some fresh meat! And that's what we have in this episode, as we discuss four movies that we were both seeing for the first time! And the catch is, they all had theatrical releases THIS year! These are movies that we should have seen in theaters, and maybe we would have, if there wasn't some crazy pandemic going on! So we rented them, instead. We kick things off with a dive into the ocean, seven miles deep. Just what sort of madness might be lurking in the depths of Underwater (2020)? Then, we take a holiday trip to a cabin with two kids and their father's new girlfriend. But it's quite possible that this kind of seclusion may not be the best for those with psychological instability. Prepare yourself for the torment of The Lodge (2019, but released theatrically in 2020). Speaking of torment, have you ever had a horrible, emotionally abusive relationship from which you can never seem to escape? You should really have a talk with Cecilia from The Invisible Man (2020), because she's clearly an expert on the subject. But has she completely lost her mind? And then from there, Vin Diesel is back! And he's ready to lay the smack...oh, wait. That's someone else. But Vin Diesel IS back. As the Valiant Comics (yes, I said Valiant) superhero soldier guy, Bloodshot (2020). And from what I know about Vin Diesel movies, he's probably going to rough some people up! AND I'm probably going to doze off while he's doing it.
If you despise REALLY long episodes, you're finally in luck! After that marathon 80s vampire episode, the Common Craig needed a kind of quick fix, easy-to-edit kind of break. Which means that we start the episode with some requisite whining, of course. And then from there, it's time to discuss ONE movie. Yes, just one. And no, it's not going to be for all tastes. But leave it to writer/director Ken Russell to amp up the depravity with some kinky, campy fun involving a pagan snake cult. But this is a British production! So, that totally brings any sleazy, trash, cult movie up to a level of instant respectability, right? Right. It also features Hugh Grant's finest cinematic performance. Enjoy.
Get ready to celebrate the decade of excess, with an excessively long episode! That's right, we're heading back to the 1980s, as we count down the top five vampire movies from that decade. Could the Common Craig discuss those movies in under an hour? Probably. But what's the fun in that? And even as Nicole tries, she cannot possibly hope to reel the Common Craig in to make for an episode of reasonable length. But this is a discussion of 80s movies, so it seems fitting. So sharpen up those fangs (or your stakes, if you're one of THOSE people) and get ready to sink your teeth into an epic countdown! And then from there, we even discuss a few last minutes movies that we happened to watch in between recording sessions.
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