Old Wives

It's a two-parter finale, so strap in. First, we've got Casey in Denmark to find a prince who uses his alt account to lure the disillusioned idealist princess who doesn't want to marry. Then, we've got Amy in Russia where a third sister disappears, and the entire town follows the prophecy of a pipe whistle foretelling her return. The important thing is, now more than ever: this is Old Wives. For sources and links, check out our Patreon, or follow on Twitter. Our theme music is from Carnaval des Animaux, performed by Aitua.

We're in Poland today where three Sons make their barebones living ferrying people across a river. The youngest gets a purse that's always full, and a mermaid wife to boot, and it's all coming up roses for a minute. That is, until the local king decides to send him on a few errands. Join us for a collection of side-quests in the shape of a story that ends with some truly spectacular comeuppance. For sources and links, check out our Patreon, or follow on Twitter. Our theme music is from Carnaval des Animaux, performed by Aitua.

Today we're in Sicily for a spicy tale about a gullible eldest brother with a purse that's always full of gold. His intended yoinks it, leaving him poor and bereft, but lucky for him, he's got two other brothers with magical items he can borrow. She takes those off him too, though, and it seems like curtains for him until he lands in a mysterious fig tree with fruit that just might help him get his fortune and his fiance back. For sources and links, check out our Patreon, or follow on Twitter. Our theme music is from Carnaval des Animaux, performed by Aitua.

Today we're in Ireland where the king of giants goes up against one persistent cat. There's a princess in the giant's tower, of course, with one hundred fire-barking dogs keeping her inside. There's also a prince with a white cat familiar. The cat tells the prince he'll have to ignore his hunger to get to the princess, but he hasn't had lunch today, so it's anyone's game. For sources and links, check out our Patreon, or follow on Twitter. Our theme music is from Carnaval des Animaux, performed by Aitua.

Today we're in India to hear about a village with a little problem. They don't like doing chores, and they're tired of moving the whole village when the laundry pile gets too big. Fortunately, in wanders a man with a solution. He whittles some helpers that can do any task a village needs to keep itself running. They're amazing little creatures, except that they are wooden objects cursed with sentience that sleep in your home. Certainly that won't backfire. For sources and links, check out our Patreon, or follow on Twitter. Our theme music is from Carnaval des Animaux, performed by Aitua.

We took this week off for the (US) holiday weekend. Be back with a new episode next week, plus an extra for patrons. Speaking of patron episodes, here's one from the vault that dropped December of 2020. Back then we described it thus:New month, new fairy tale shorts for our dear Patrons! And as usual, we're all over the place. We've got an ass that lays money, a boy who turns to stone, the origin of the Christmas tree, and, of course, small dumb animals working together. We don't say this lightly: it might be the weirdest collection yet. It's what the monkey's paw would want.For sources and links, check out our Patreon, or follow on Twitter. Our theme music is from Carnaval des Animaux, performed by Aitua.

Today we're in Japan for a rich-brother-poor-brother story with a few unexpected twists. Poor Brother gets some dead silkworm eggs from Rich Brother, only to have them hatch like normal. The zombie silkworms get to work as a flock of sparrows settles oddly in the rice field. Poor Brother follows the flock to a mossy glen filled with fairy children wielding a mallet, and that's when things get weird.For sources and links, check out our Patreon, or follow on Twitter. Our theme music is from Carnaval des Animaux, performed by Aitua.

We're in Egypt today, sampling the wares of three wells and watching as an old woman curses a young boy with a propehcy. He follows the prophecy deep into ogre territory, until he finds a tower containing the correct princess and joins a mini-game of Rapunzel already in progress. They escape with the help of three standard-issue magic items, but not before being turned into a bird and a dog. Tune in to find out if he'd still love his girlfriend if she got turned into a worm.For sources and links, check out our Patreon, or follow on Twitter. Our theme music is from Carnaval des Animaux, performed by Aitua.

We're in Turkey today, where 40 brothers are on a quest to find 40 sisters to marry. They find them after the youngest brother tangles with a couple of pesky dragons that lead him down a well or two, and eventually to a sidequest in another kingdom. It's there he'll find his future wife, which leaves us with an extra sister. Join us to solve a complicated math equation! For sources and links, check out our Patreon, or follow on Twitter. Our theme music is from Carnaval des Animaux, performed by Aitua.

We're in China today, where a rich man's son squanders a fortune or three. When he finally learns his lesson, his mysterious wizard benefactor decides it's time to level him up. The wizard gives him some pills and tells him not to scream, which is always a good start to a sidequest. When he finally comes to, he's lived a whole second life. But will he ever get back to it?For sources and links, check out our Patreon, or follow on Twitter. Our theme music is from Carnaval des Animaux, performed by Aitua.

Our four-week hiatus ends with this final rerun, and it's one of our favorites. We'll be back next week with the fresh...ages-old folktales you crave, but until then please gring your teeth on this pizza tale from November of 2020:We're in Italy this week to hear about two women, their two daughters, and two little pizzas. The good daughter shares her pizza at the wellspring, but the bad daughter refuses and is cursed. The king sends for the good daughter and gets the cursed one instead, and it'll take a choir of giant ducks to clear things up. But when the king realizes his error and finds the right daughter? Baby, you might say That's Amore. For sources and links, support us on Patreon, or follow on Twitter. Our theme music is from Carnaval des Animaux, performed by Aitua.

Our brief disappearance from the world stage continues for this, the most July of months in the year 2022. In our absence, please accept this insane story from September, 2020:We're in Scotland this week for a bizarre Upstairs, Downstairs-style caper complete with pratfalls and prop humor. Meet the king's bard, who is hell-bent on destroying his nemesis: the steward to the king. Each passing year, the bard's schemes to sink the steward grow more absurd, as he enlists a crow, a witch, and a trout to help him. Will one of his compatriots betray him? Can he ever outsmart the steward? And which way does that sun rise, anyway? Join us for all this and more! For sources and links, support us on Patreon, or follow on Twitter. Our theme music is from Carnaval des Animaux, performed by Aitua.

It's still July, 2022, and we're still on break. Fret not, we've got just the classic episode to clear your summertime blues. This little fella is coming in hot from November of 2019 (holy crap we've been doing this that long?):This week, we tackle misery. No, not the feeling you have every time you log into Twitter, the literal personification of Misery, a tiny scraggly Russian man who sings back-up to your spite-tune, a constant companion whether you like it or not. Who is he? What's he like to have a drink with? Let's get anthropomorphic! For sources and links, support us on Patreon, or follow on Twitter. Our theme music is from Carnaval des Animaux, performed by Aitua.

We're on break for the rest of the month (July, 2022). In our absence we're bumping some old hits from the stacks like this gem from June, 2020. Let's see how well these old pants fit:This week in Iceland, we meet a good boy who's afraid of nothing. He lives in his haunted house, simmering his mutton soup for ghosts. He makes the bed and does the chores, and never hesitates to fling himself into battle. He even walks, drunk, headlong into death, all for the love of his friends. But that's where things take a turn. Will his fearlessness prevail? Can we join this fraternity? Join us as we stare fear directly in the backwards face. For sources and links, support us on Patreon, or follow on Twitter. Our theme music is from Carnaval des Animaux, performed by Aitua.

We're in Wales this week for a witchy story about a millennial fairy looking for her piece of the dream. She barters for a house and a vengeanceur, but she won't be satisfied until the Area Witch is stopped in her tracks for good. To do it, she'll have to conga for her life around the maypole with her 300 closest friends. For sources and links, check out our Patreon, or follow on Twitter. Our theme music is from Carnaval des Animaux, performed by Aitua.

We're in North America today to meet a man in desperate need of a makeover. Lucky for him, some beavers take him in for the winter and teach him the power of song and also of dressing for the job you want (husband). When his education is complete, he leaves with a fancy new coat and a magical stick with some strange abilities. Hopefully, his beloved still likes him with a little hair on his chest. For sources and links, check out our Patreon, or follow on Twitter. Our theme music is from Carnaval des Animaux, performed by Aitua.

Today we're in India where a prince and a vizier's son are exiled from the country, and they decide to go out hand in hand. It should be the first day of the rest of their lives, but the prince stumbles across a fairy from The Ivory City, and now he's gotta find her. The vizier's son gets it done for him, even if his methods are a little unorthodox. And circuitous. And byzantine. For sources and links, check out our Patreon, or follow on Twitter. Our theme music is from Carnaval des Animaux, performed by Aitua.

We're in Ireland to meet three neighbors in a dead heat to be the town's premier moving business. Dan pulls ahead, so the other two team up to sabotage him. But Dan is wily, witty, and thinks quickly on his feet. At every turn he comes out ahead—even when his own mother dies. Maybe the other two could stand to learn from him. If they're up to it. For sources and links, check out our Patreon, or follow on Twitter. Our theme music is from Carnaval des Animaux, performed by Aitua.

We're in northwest Canada this week to meet Great Whirlpool Maker, a fickle god in charge of rough seas. But his power is derived from an unexpected place: a bitchy little bird that lives in his hat. When Great Whirlpool Maker's son steals the hat to impress a girl, he takes the bird with him, and all hell breaks loose in one unfortunate village. For sources and links, check out our Patreon, or follow on Twitter. Our theme music is from Carnaval des Animaux, performed by Aitua.

We're in Sicily this week, where seven sisters are cited for loitering, which proves to be their gateway to a lifetime of recidivism. They blow town and live together until one sister seizes main character status by marrying a king. But the king wastes no time deploying his new wife as his personal thief, forcing her to rob a powerful(?) sorcerer(??). Queue the training montage!For sources and links, check out our Patreon, or follow on Twitter. Our theme music is from Carnaval des Animaux, performed by Aitua.