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Stable Moments Podcast

Author: Rebecca Britt

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The show where we discuss all things related to the foster care system and early childhood trauma. From foster parents, trauma experts, former foster kids and beyond, we’ll take a deep dive into the complexities of the foster care crisis in an effort to better understand how to fix it!
52 Episodes
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Join us as Ce Eshelman, LMFT walks us through how to discover what happened in our childhood and how that impacts how we show up to working with children today. Ce Eshelman, LMFT, is an attachment specialist, author, and founder of The Attach Place Center for Strengthening Relationships. With 27 years of experience and training in marriage and family therapy, she began specializing in attachment and trauma healing 18 years ago after adopting her two children from the foster care system.In March 2016, Ce published Drowning with My Hair on Fire: Insanity Relief for Adoptive Parents. It is a compilation of supportive letters to adoptive parents designed for daily inspirational reading.Join the Love Matters Parenting Society at https://www.lovemattersparenting.com/love-matters-parenting-society-membership-homeFacebook: @TheAttachPlace
 Steve always knew he wanted a family. Raised catholic he grew up thinking he was destined to marry a woman and have children. When he was confronted with his attraction to men and the eventual realization that he was gay, he gave up, that dream of having a family and chose the route of gay singledom. As the times changed and he gained greater self acceptance he re-ignited his dream for a family and stared the journey toward parenthood. Steve is the author of the book Determined to Be Dad which chronicles his trials and tribulations of self-discovery to acceptance to building a new reality and finally to the joys of creating his own family through adoption. Steve is a leadership development coach and a diverstity and inclusion consultant.  Check out his website here.Get Steve's book here.Facebook  @stevedisselhorst.llcInstagram @steve.disselhorstTwitter @SteveDisselhorsLinkedIn
Barry Farmer is a Native of Richmond, Virginia. He grew up in Kinship Care with his grandmother from ages 5-18. For the last 15 years he's been devoted to working inside and outside the classroom with youth and their families. At age 20, Barry became a foster father with a local therapeutic agency to further help youth within his community. At age 22 he adopted his oldest son. Three years later, Barry's two younger sons were placed in his home, making him a proud father of three amazing young men. With these additions to his family, he closed his home after 7 years as an active foster parent. Today, as a single father, Barry is a Spokesman for Adopt Us Kids, Foster Care Adoption Advocate for children awaiting adoption, Speaker, Mentor,  Host of The Barry Farmer Morning Show with Sharon Lizzy a Nationally Syndicated Radio Show based out of Richmond Virginia and The FosterCare & Adoption Life talk Web Series, as well as the Creator/Administrator of one of the largest online support group for Foster Care and Adoptive families. With his show, Barry enjoys connecting with various individuals from across the country, giving them a platform to share their stories and life’s work.Follow Barry on social @iambarryfarmerWebsite: https://www.barryfarmer.com/
Join Angela Flores, Juvenile Justice Worker, as she explores the intersections between juvenile justice and child protective services. As a child who has experienced generational foster care, she offers services to children in her community and has a vision to attend law school, to further contribute to the justice system.
Both Alexis and Justin are proud foster care alumni as well as recent graduates, authors, and business owners. They both join us this week to share their honenest and vulnerable story and to promote their book Re-Defining Normal. After both spent time in fostercare they met in college and through a healing journey have developed a healthy relationship with eachother, getting married this year. Together, they've created ROSE (Rising Over SocietalExpectations) Empowerment Group, a company structured to close the information gap for young adults as well as The Scholarship Expert where they support students to graduate debt-free while obtaining the skills needed to be successful. Now, they are releasingRedefining Normal: How Two Foster Kids Beat The Odds and Discovered Healing, Happiness and Love to share their story of how they've had to redefine what love and healthyrelationships look like.Get the bookhttps://www.re-definingnormal.com/Follow them on IG @re.definingnormalFollow them on FB @redefiningnormalmemoir
Marianne tells of her story of being an adoptee and how it shaped her childhood and early adulthood. She tells us that even though she was adopted at birth to extremely loving parents, that she still felt like she didn't belong, that something was wrong with her, that she wasn't wanted. Her birth certificate says that her birth father denied paternity which left her wondering why? When she saught answers to that question by finding her birth father she was retraumatized as an adult. Listen into her story.Follow Marianne on Instagram @coffeenchocolate42386
We, as a society, talk about adoption, adoption, adoption and often focus on the child's life after adoption, but what about the birth mom? Listen to Ashley Mitchell discuss her journey through an unwanted pregnancy to an eventual decision to find an adoptive family for her son. She walks us through finding out she was pregnant, a trip to the abortion clinic, hiding her pregnancy for nearly 8 months, choosing a family for her son and then going home after the birth childless with a body ready to nurture a child. Ashley chose life, but she didn't feel supported in that decision. How are we supporting the women who are choosing life? Well, she has developed a curriculum for adoption agencies to support birth moms across the nation. Check out her website at:https://www.sitkneetoknee.com/Follow her on instagram @bigtoughgirl
This week, as we prepare for Thanksgiving, we discuss how holidays can trigger foster and adopted children. Join us as we explore how not to impose our ideas, customs and traditions on others and instead choose to keep an open mind and implement their ideas into our realities. 
Lauren Flynn from www.fosteradoptivemom.com joins us to wrap up our conversation from last week. This part of the conversation focuses on challenging anti-reunification culture and ensuring representation for transracial adoptees.Follow Lauren on instagram @loflynnfam
This week Lauren Flynn from the blog www.fosteradoptivemom.com joins us to talk about fostering and adopting medically fragile children. She walks us through her journey and gives us her real perspective on how we view children with disabilities and how her expectations and views have changed since opening her doors to children with medical conditions.Follow her on instagram @loflynnfam
In this week's episode Jenn Thatcher joins us to discuss how she chose to foster as a single parent. She shares her journey of fostering over eight children and eventually the decision to close her doors. Follow Jen on Instagram @lovegodloveorphans
On this week's episode we dive into some sticky situations submitted by Stable Moments locations. Many people ask "how does the approach look in action?" Here are some practical trauma informed responses listeners can use when they are faced with sticky situations. 
Jennifer Fairfax, Esq. gives us the low down on all the different types of adoption, the difference between open and closed adoptions and why adoptive parents choose which path.Jennifer's life has intersected with the areas of adoption and family building since she was a teen.  Her adult goddaughter is an international adoptee from Korea and her adult nephew is a domestic adoptee.  She, herself, underwent fertility treatments to become a parent and has found assisting others in buidling their families through adoption and/or Assisted Reproduction Technology ("ART") rewarding.  She has a compassion and vision for famlies unmatched by others in the area and limits her practice to these areas of the law to ensure she can provide the best service to her clients.    Jennifer is a Bethesda Magazine 2019 Top Adoption Attorney (see Bethesda Magazine Attorney Profile) and most recently spoke at the 2019 Florida Adoption Council Conference on ethical considerations when representing expectant parents and birth parents.Check Jennifer out here:www.jenniferfairfax.com Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/jenniferfairfaxllcTwitter: https://twitter.com/ParentingChoiceLinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/company/jennifer-fairfax-llc-family-formation-law-offices/?viewAsMember=trueInstagram:  https://www.instagram.com/adoption_and_art_attorney/
In this week's episode Darren Fink from Transfiguring Adoption tells us about his own adoption journey of four children and how their family uses magical creatures and play to address sensory, attachment, emotional and behavioral challenges. His experience lead him to write a family book A Guide to Magical Creatures Around Your Home and to start Transfiguring Adoption where reviewers use a trauma informed lense to review books, movies and video games for certain trauma triggers and therapeutic discussion opportunities. Transfiguring Adoption offers an online support group community through platforms such as Facebook Live and Zoom. During our Monday Caregiver Check-in shows, we strive to talk with professionals and experts in the foster care and adoption industry who can field questions asked by our viewers.Viewers have mentioned that they appreciate being able to connect with other people and fight back fears of feeling alone. When questioned, viewers tend to say that they feel they are better parents after joining one of our live support groups. Right now they take place on Mondays at 6:30pm EST for about 30-45 min. Please join the Facebook Page before you come to the show:https://www.facebook.com/groups/662209997612930
In this episode I take some time to reflect on what we’ve learned in the first 35 episodes and reposition ourselves with a new vision for the podcast.Listen in while I talk about a new vision to build an army of people that are interested and willing to take responsibility for our foster youth and who are supportive of foster and adoptive families. I want this to be a place where community members feel like they can make a difference, where they feel good enough to make that difference and believe that they can be a big deal in the life of a child. 
In this episode Marcy gives her real and raw experience of being a foster parent. She breaks down the trials and triumphs to give us a look behind the curtain as a foster parent. Marcy is a liscensed clinical therapist with focuses in animal-assisted therapy, play and art therapies, and attachment theory. Marcy has also completed her Stable Moments certification and is launching her program at her nonprofit Grey Muzzle Manor.Grey Muzzle Manor Sanctuary, Inc. Website: www.greymuzzlemanor.orgFacebook: www.facebook.com/greymuzzlemanorfarmInstagram: @grey_muzzle_manorFor information on other mental health services: www.therapywithmarcy.comFacebook: www.facebook.com/therapywithmarcyInstagram: @therapywithmarcyInstagram: @Emmett_thewonderdog
This week Dr. Melissa Sadin joins us to talk about the role of school in the foster care crisis and how creating trauma informed schools is really the first step to ending the foster care crisis. She gives us the roadmap to becoming trauma senstive and why we need to be proactive and not trauma responsive.Dr. Sadin has served as a special education teacher, a gifted education teacher, and a building administrator.  Most recently she served as a director of special education.  Dr. Sadin has been vice-president of her local School Board and is recognized as a Master School Board Member. She has conducted research on the perceptions of teachers working to create trauma-informed classrooms.  Dr. Sadin is a published author and has produced numerous webinars on children with attachment trauma in schools. Currently, Dr. Sadin works as an education consultant and developmental trauma expert providing professional development to school districts, municipal service providers and parents.  Nationally, Dr. Sadin is a highly sought after keynote speaker and conference presenter. Her Trauma Guide Series of books are available on her website, www.traumasensitive.com.Make sure to follow her:www.traumasensitive.com - https://www.attachmenttraumanetwork.org/conference/ - national conferencehttps://www.acesconnection.com/ - for ACEs and resilience surveysNsba4safeschools.org/safety-summit  - National School Boards upcoming conference@melissasadin - twitterhttps://www.facebook.com/Traumasensitive- Facebook
Beth joins us this week to talk about what ambiguous loss is, and how it impacts foster and adopted children and their families. We both discuss the role grief plays in being trauma informed, and how often we breeze right over what a child has lost and jump right into our trauma responses. We also discuss lifebooks and how critical they are to helping a child keep a documented timelime of their story and all its complexity. Beth has a M.A. in Counseling Psychology from Eastern University, where she gained a rich understanding of psychological theory and the techniques that are most effective for creating positive change in the lives of others. She provides mental health counseling to children, adolescents, adults and families and she has published the childrens book A Grandfamily for Sullivan. Check out Beths website and blog at bethtyson.com.Join Beth's Facebook Group: EmotimindsInstagram: Beth Tyson_Trauma CareTwitter: @author_tysonLinkedIn: Beth Tyson
Tori shares her experience in foster care as a former foster youth, foster care advocate, & foster mom and how that fuels her ife’s passion to raise up & nurture her own family, as well as advocate for the restoration of family. She shares her life vulnerably with hopes to let her Abba Father be known & loved through stories, to offer hope to the hurting, & to serve people from all kinds of backgrounds.Tori Petersen is a national speaker, writer, and advocate for the preservation of family, foster care and adoption. She is also a wife to Jacob, a mom to two littles, and a foster mom to one. After growing up in the foster care system, having lived in twelve different homes, and being adopted as an adult, Tori knew her calling was to communicate The Gospel through the light of adoption and the stories God has granted her. Tori has founded a scholarship alongside her husband at Hillsdale College for former foster youth and vulnerable populations. She's presented policy to White House Policy Staffers and works with various nonprofits. You can follow her on Instagram at @torihopepetersen and her website torihopepetersen.com
Kristine joins us in part two this week to tell us how her time in foster care has allowed her to help foster and adoptive parents help children feel safe. Her story is that of true resilience as she shares how her experience drove her to get a Social Work degree, become a foster mom and start working with humans and horses at The Ranch of Hope Reins. The Ranch of Hope Reins is where Stable Moments is holding their certification training in October.Follow them on facebook.
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