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We Should Talk About That

Author: Jessica Buchanan and Jessica Kidwell

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NYT bestselling author of Impossible Odds, Jessica Buchanan, along with fellow writer Jessica Kidwell, attempt to unpack the uncomfortable topics that nobody is talking about, but definitely should. With intention to hold real, authentic, conversation about EVERYTHING, the Two Jess(es) bring their humor and a healthy dose of self-deprecation to the table as they unpack issues relating to PTSD, grief, imposter syndrome, body image, middle age, the plight of the working mom and more.
126 Episodes
In this supportive, life-saving resource, the New York Times bestselling author of The Gift of Failure helps parents and educators understand the roots of substance abuse and identify who is most at risk for addiction, and offers practical steps for prevention.Jessica Lahey was born into a family with a long history of alcoholism and drug abuse. Despite her desire to thwart her genetic legacy, she became an alcoholic and didn’t find her way out until her early forties. Jessica has worked as a teacher in substance abuse programs for teens, and was determined to inoculate her two adolescent sons against their most dangerous inheritance. All children, regardless of their genetics, are at some risk for substance abuse. According to the National Center on Addiction and Substance Abuse, teen drug addiction is the nation’s largest preventable and costly health problem. Despite the existence of proven preventive strategies, nine out of ten adults with substance use disorder report they began drinking and taking drugs before age eighteen. The Two Jess(es) welcome this incredible third Jess, once again, for another rattling WeSTAT conversation on the topic of alcohol, your kids, substance abuse disorder, and how our relationship to ALL of it, desperately needs to be examined- for the sake of our children's brain development.Meet Jessica!Jessica Lahey writes about education, parenting, and child welfare for The Washington Post, the New York Times, and The Atlantic and is the author of the New York Times bestselling book, The Gift of Failure: How the Best Parents Learn to Let Go So Their Children Can Succeed. She is a member of the Amazon Studios Thought Leader Board and wrote the curriculum for Amazon Kids’ The Stinky and Dirty Show. She lives in Vermont with her husband and two sons.To learn more, go to: the show (
Meet Zach Gottlieb, the "TEEN Instagrammer" who is getting guys and other teens to talk about their mental health, in particular those issues related to male feelings and toxic masculinity. In this episode, the Two Jess(es) are blown away by this teen's articulate way of expressing his experiences and observations around his own mental health, as he shares WHY he started his Instagram page (@talkwithzach) and how teens all over the world and looking to him for advice to source answers to their questions that most teens are not talking about openly, but should.To find out more about Zach, you can read about him here: the show (
Gila Pfeffer is more than just the mom who knew too much, she takes the bull by the horns in every part of life, including her health- and she was going to make damned sure she was going to laugh the whole time too! While in the throes of motherhood, Gila, who lost her mother and grandmother in their 40's from breast cancer, found out she did indeed carry the Brca gene, and decided she was going to face impending cancer head on, and do it in the funniest way possible. A huge advocate for early detection, Gila's humorous spin on the "Feel it on the First" campaign is one that should not be missed! In this episode, TTJ(es) talk about motherhood, cancer and laughing through it all with one of London's funniest moms!Meet Gila!Gila Pfeffer is a Jewish American writer and humorist currently living in the UK with her husband and four teenaged children. She writes relatable personal essays in the parenting and breast cancer space and recently co-authored a book called I Just Want to Hang Out With You which is part of a NYT best selling series.Gila is a 12-year breast cancer pre-vivor AND survivor (like Angelia Jolie but with less press coverage) and she uses her social media platforms to promote breast cancer prevention. She posts an attention-grabbing “Feel It On The First” post every first of the month on her Instagram which prompts women to take their breast health seriously. Several have written to her saying that these reminders have led to diagnosis of early stage breast cancer.  Her work can be found on Grown & Flown, Momtastic, AARP among others, as well as the humor publications Points In Case, The Haven, Greener Pasteurs and more.  Gila is currently at work on a collection of personal essays about how to sail through the worst life throws at you with the help of humor, perspective and maintaining strong ties to her faith. Connect with Gila on her social channels:IG: @gilapfefferTwitter: @gilapfeffer Tik Tok: @gilapfefferMedium: @gila.pfefferFacebook: The Mom Who Knew Too MuchSupport the show (
Yep, that's right. The WeSTAT guest this week is JessK- and she is sharing her heart behind her newest project, Neuroversity Podcast- a solo podcast that aims to dive deeper into the areas of neurodivergence, giving a voice to those who might not normally get to speak up and speak out about neurodiversity and all that entails.This episode is informative, as well as inspirational, as The Two Jess(es) discuss the terrifying and exhilarating time leading up to the launch of this passion project, and the dream of what it could truly be. To learn more about Neuroversity Podcast visit her on instagram at @neuroversitypodSupport the show (
This episode is a little different as the Two Jess(es) play a different role. JessK interviews JessB on her newest project, The Project You Collective, along with her two business partners, Rebekah Gregory, survivor of the Boston Marathon Bombings, and Loren Buchanan, creative director and founder of Buchanan Creative Group. A transformational coaching program for women who feel called to tell their stories- Jess, Rebekah and Loren offer a comprehensive service that works through the personal development, professional development and digital development process so that women are empowered to share their experiences in a clear concise way, that targets their audience, connects to their purpose and shows the world what they are all about. In this episode you will learn about:1. The three stages of the PYC program2. Why there is incredible power in what we perceive as the "Everyday Story"3. Why choosing the change in your life is often the most relatable story to tell4. Why fostering an environment of collaboration is rooted in the belief that there is space for everyone and how that can bolster your business5. Why having a cohesive digital footprint is the key to building your speaker's profileTo find out more about Project You Collective, visit: the show (
This week, The Two Jess(es) sit down with Rachel Peru, a curvy, silver-haired model, and body confidence activist, hailing from the UK. Rachel started her modeling career at 46, and offers so many insights about body image, aging, and her feelings around honoring her body by wearing beautiful, sexy lingerie. Life is the special occasion- so why wait?A fun conversation with three women about stepping off the scale, detaching our underwear for the function of sex, and making ourselves understand, inside and out, that we are worthy of beautiful things.Meet Rachel! Perus is a silver haired curve model, body confidence activist and influencer and the host of the Out of the Bubble podcast. She began her new career as a model at the age of 46. Rachel loves being able to represent older women in the fashion industry and has worked with some amazing people and brands including JDWilliams, F&F Clothing with Davina McCall and alongside her body confidence icon Ashley Graham for Swimsuits for All. Rachel created "Out of the Bubble" in order to spread some positivity around midlife and share inspiration to others that may be feeling a bit lost as they hit their forties. Rachel knows from her own experience that stepping out of her comfort zone and trying new things in life can lead to all sorts of opportunities and bring a new lease of life for this next chapter.Support the show (
You may know her from her years as a part of the cast of Grey's Anatomy- but today Kate Anthony is here to answer (and ask!) some tough questions, in her newest role, a coach and mentor for cis-hetero women who are contemplating divorce and asking one of the most important, and difficult questions of their lives. Should I stay, or should I go?From just a general BLAH marriage, to those that are emotionally abusive and everything in between, Kate has guided hundreds of women through the complex journey of deciding whether they are ready to apply newly acquired tools to their marriage, or doing divorce right. The Two Jess(es) ask all kinds of questions, including, how to divorce without screwing up your kids. Kate has a well thought out and realistically applied answer for pretty much everything!To find out more about The Divorce Survival Guide, visit the show (
Dr. Rachel is BACK. And she is sharing, once again and so generously, her expertise, the latest research, and personal experiences with the WeSTAT community. Jess and Jess first sat down to chat with Dr. Orscheln 18 months ago, and to date, it is still the most highly downloaded episode in WeSTAT history! No one would have guessed that we would be right back here, having a similar conversation. From vaccines, to mutations to just straight up data, Dr. Rachel breaks down all the Jesses' questions so that they, and everyone, can understand the latest on COVID-19, the variants, and when our younger populations are eligible for vaccination. Dr. Rachel definitely knows best!Meet Dr. Rachel!Dr. Orscheln is the director of ambulatory Pediatric Infectious Diseases and the International Adoption Center at St. Louis Children’s Hospital and Washington University. She is a graduate of the University of Missouri-Columbia School of Medicine.  She completed her residency in Pediatrics at St. Louis Children’s Hospital and a fellowship in Pediatric Infectious Diseases at Washington University.  She has been a member of the faculty since 2005 and is currently an Associate Professor of Pediatrics.  Her special clinical interest is in the care of immunocompromised children.  During the COVID-19 Pandemic, she has been actively engaged with schools on the safe return to in person learning.  When she is not at work, she enjoys spending time with her husband and 3 children Support the show (
Anyone out there ever have your kid trigger you when you least expect it? No? Just us? Didn't think so. The Two Jess(es) sit down for a very vulnerable conversation with the hosts of the extremely popular podcast, as well as their partner in creating Raising Children You Like ( An online course to help parents of children 1-6 know what to say in hard moments and get to the root of your triggers.Hosts Sonnet Simmons Matthews and Veronica Morales Frieling and licensed family and marriage therapist, Bryana Kappadakunnel contend that parenting can be a source of deep healing as we allow ourselves to approach raising our children with humility, and the openness to allow the things that trigger us, become the moments that become our greatest teachers, leading us to profound relationship with our children.If you are looking for support in the early years of parenting, this is a must listen, and check out their resources and podcast at the links above.Support the show (
The Two Jess(es) start off Season 3 with a bang, and get really vulnerable about.....their faces. JessB gets really honest about what she sees going on under her eyes, and while way back in Season 1, she waxed poetic about aging and her right to eye bags, she has decided, she's done.In their quest for hearing all sides of the skincare story, and in an effort to appease their curiosity and get some answers to the burning question for almost every woman over 40: WHAT IS HAPPENING TO MY F%&*ING FACE! And what can I do about it?JessK brings in THE EXPERT to answer ALL the questions, and these answers are brought to us by non other than her sister, Jennifer Daniels. Jennifer is a medical esthetician, and owner of The Med Spa ( which is one of the top med spas in the greater Raliegh area. Jennifer generously offers her advice, and professional wisdom, as she patiently answers all of Jess and Jess' questions about prevention and correction, neurotoxins, fillers, creams, just to name a few. JessK shares her thoughts and experience around her own use with injectables, and the thought process behind it. The constant conundrum of aging gracefully with authenticity, or with the assistance of modern science, the largest organ of our body and how we care for it is always cause for interesting, and sometimes heated, conversations!Meet Jennifer!“Beautiful skin is attainable for everyone and finding the right balance of products and treatments for clients is what I do best.  A skincare routine just has to work for you.  I am a product enthusiast, and I’m always researching how ingredients react with other components to achieve the optimal skincare regimen.”After her daughter started kindergarten, Jennifer decided she needed a change from her decade-plus career in sales and marketing. She wanted to follow her lifelong passion for skincare and layer on to her B.S. in Business Administration from Miami University. She went back to school, graduated top of her class in Esthetics at Miller Motte College and went on to acquire Laser Certification at the Laser Institute in Albany, NY.  Jennifer has been affiliated with Raleigh Plastic Surgery Center since 2008 and began The MedSpa in early 2013.Jennifer is wholeheartedly committed to the improvement of clients’ skin and addressing their skin’s appearance  and concerns. Her favorite part of her job is conversing with patients to get insight into their wants, needs and expectations about aging, sorting through the myriad of products on the market and their skincare goals.  “Integrated skincare performed with integrity” it’s a mantra Jennifer embodies and what has landed The Medspa as one of the top rated medical spas in the Triangle.Favorite beauty service: Eyelash tinting! The best way to make your eyes pop (of course after you use Latisse or Revitalash to grow long lush lashes!)Favorite skincare product: Hydrating B5 gel by Skinceuticals hands down! Comprised of Hyaluronic acid, EVERYONE can use it. Everyone needs it! Hydrates to create supple, flawless skin—I have used HA for a decade!Support the show (
Uncertainty, risk, emotional exposure. This (according to the GREAT Brene Brown) is the definition of vulnerability.Sounds like a great way to kick off Season 3, right? In true WeSTAT fashion, the Two Jess(es) have decided to pick a theme to carry them through, along with their guests, this season of conversation and topic exploration. The heavy and the light sides of vulnerability will be the aim of this season's content production, and they invite you to join them as they ask the hard questions, sit in the light that it brings, together, as they continue on in their never ending quest to explore themselves.For more information or to support WeSTAT visit: us out on paypal: the show (
As we approach (what we HOPE!) is a more normal start to the school year, returning to the office IN PERSON, and juggling this *post/mid* COVID life, we are bringing ringmaster of the modern woman's world, Jenn Folsom BACK! Offering many pieces of practical advice on managing the circus of what we call life, Jenn shares her perspective as a working mom of three teenage boys. She gets really honest about the illusiveness of a work life balance, and shows us how we can decide what goes into the rings of our own circus.Thinking strategically about not being 'mommytracked' at work, getting back into the work force after taking time off, (are you one of the millions of women who have been forced out of the workplace in the last year?), and having the fortitude to ask for what you are worth, Jenn offers invaluable nuggets of wisdom for women as they juggle all.the.things.Referencing the current crisis, as many of us are all trying to work from home and home school our kids, she says the silver lining is that the whole world is now an audience to the struggle of the working parent. Jenn gets really honest about lowering the expectations for ourselves right now, but also using this time to think and plan strategically for when the world resumes some sort of normality.Show Notes:Jennifer Folsom is a dynamic, high-energy leader with a proven record of growing all sizes of professional services firms while growing a family.   She is the Vice President of Growth, for ICF Next, where she she serves as a relationship-driven growth leader across a diverse portfolio of digital, communications, and social marketing projects serving the Civilian and Defense sectors. A human capital expert, she leverages a people-centered approach to drive revenue in organizations from start-up to Big 4. An-oft quoted expert in corporate culture, Jennifer promotes the notion that the multiple in firm valuation starts with the people. Her colleagues cite one of her greatest strengths as the “ability to cut through the noise to solve an issue.” She's also the mom of 3 sons, 17-year-old twins and a 12-year old-firecracker. Wife. Daughter. Sister. Friend. Yogi. Old lady soccer team player. Amateur farm-to-table chef. Vegetable gardener. Paddleboarder. Bourbon lover. Runner. Reader. Writer. Jennifer loves her work but knows that living your ​whole b​ est life is the ultimate key to success. To Learn More: Website: jenniferfolsom.netEmail: jenniferfolsom@thefolsoms.netInstagram: @jennifercfolsomFacebook: The Ringmaster Project Twitter: @jenniferfolsom Medium: @jenn.folsom LinkedIn: @jenniferfolsom  Support the show (
Do you over-drink? Do you feel ashamed about your drinking habit? Are you concerned that your habit is turning into a problem, especially when 5 o clock rolls around and you reach for that bottle of Pinot without even really thinking about it anymore?Jess and Jess have decided its time to have a conversation about their alcohol habits, and so they have invited Dr. Sherry Price on to talk about her Drink Less Lifestyle Program, a program designed for high functioning women who are tired of feeling out of control and not in charge when it comes to their drinking habits. Dr. Sherry's program, based on neuroscience, and rooted in her own personal experience with over-drinking has allowed her the opportunity to work with hundreds of women who have grown weary of the shame and negative effects that come with having too much.In this episode TTJ(es) get really uncomfortable, slightly emotional and characteristically introspective as they talk with Dr. Sherry about meeting themselves in an alcohol-free space, and relearning how to operate in social capacities as just themselves. Once again, they are called upon to show up and practice what Jess K calls, 'empowered choice' and it turns out, it doesn't seem to be all that hard after all.Meet Dr. Sherry!Sherry B. Price, PharmD, MBA, APh, BCPS is a certified life coach, podcaster, pharmacist, and creator of the Drink Less Lifestyle program. She's helped hundreds of women stop the overdrinking habit and create a new relationship with alcohol where they are confident and in control. Her website is where she offers a variety of free resources including her podcast called Drink Less Lifestyle. Support the show ( the show (
Failure. It's a scary word in general, but when it comes to our kids and letting them 'fail' we are a generation of parents that will go to great lengths to keep that from happening. Maybe it's the way Gen Xers were parented (or not parented) or our need to achieve or just our general fear of upsetting the proverbial apple cart- one thing is clear: our kids are not getting the best end of the stick when it comes to trying, failing, and getting back up again.In her book, 'The Gift of Failure: How the Best Parents Learn to Let Go so their Children can Succeed." author Jessica Lehay brings so many personal experiences from her classroom, and parenting fails through the pages of this book in order to help parents see how detrimental bailing their children out can really be. The Two Jess(es) bring all their parenting questions to this third Jess and are met with a wealth of experience, wisdom and professional advice.The book is a must read, and this episode is a must listen, for those parents who may be struggling to empower their children with the gift of independence, competence and confidence in the face of disappointment. Link: of Resources mentioned on the show: the show (
Summer Sabbatical for WeSTAT continues! This time, we revisit one of our favorite episodes about (ahem) one of our favorite places, VAGINA TOWN with Dr. Gopi Pillai- a pelvic health physical therapist who is incredibly knowledgeable about all things having to do with your vagina, and :-) Dr. Gopi takes this episode to a whole new level with an in-depth visit to 'Vagina Town.' She explains then ins and outs (pun intended!) of the often overlooked importance of pelvic health, details the signs and symptoms that could be a result of problems with the pelvis, and well, just has a lot of fun talking about it all. In her words: 'her job is to help people enjoy sex again!' And she LOVES it!TTJ(es) have a lot of fun with this incredibly informative conversation. Even if the word Vagina, (and dicks) makes you uncomfortable,  stick with it- and take a ride to Vagina Town with Dr. Gopi- there is help out there for us all!Meet Dr. Gopi!Gopi was born and raised in New York and graduated from Stony Brook University with a Doctorate in Physical Therapy in 2003 at which time her interest in Women's Health began. She eventually moved to Brooklyn, where she started the first Women's Health PT program at a major hospital. Gopi went on to open a private practice in Brooklyn, specializing in male and female pelvic health for 8 years until her family life brought her to Northern Virginia.She started Blueprint Physical Therapy in January of 2019 and has loved getting to know her new surroundings while providing in home visits around DC, Maryland and Virginia. She is dedicated to continuing education and is a teacher, teaching assistant and lecturer for providers of many disciplines and for the community. She's also a wife and mom of a 4 and 5 year old and just added a pandemic puppy to her family.http://blueprintphysicaltherapy.comSupport the show ( the show (
All through the month of July, The Two Jess(es) will be re-airing some of their favorite conversations from the very beginning of WeSTAT. This particular conversation on motherhood, the high highs, and the low lows- and everything in between, from season one, is definitely one to revisit. Considering this original conversation took place prior to the world changing due to COVID, TTJ(es) are happy to report that they have really leaned in to the practice of "Good Enough Mothering" out of necessity, and realize that nothing really happens before it's supposed to- including the lessons learned from our most precious and relentless little life interrupters. Support the show (
Jen Griswold is a woman with a mission, and always has been. From the very beginning of her military career, Jen has been committed to sharing the hard won lessons she has learned with those around her- especially military spouses. With the arrival of children, Jen found herself in the role of "support services" while her husband was deployed, and as she looked around at other military spouses around her, she  realized there was a bottomless pool of untapped potential that needed to be set free. So, she started a business. And then another one. And then another one. Today, Jen is an author Mission Entrepreneur: Applying Lessons from Military Life to Create Success in Business Startups and  an entrepreneur, and retired military officer with a heart for servingher community through teaching entrepreneurship and providing marketing resources towomen who want to launch their own businesses.  Today, Jen leads the training, development, and production of a distributed team of over 9,000 entrepreneurs that produces over $20M in skincare sales annually.  Jen Griswold has been featured on the Today Show, in Arlington Magazine, NextGenMilspouse, and on a variety of podcasts about entrepreneurship and performance.Jen also founded a website and branding development company dedicated to helping women in business grow their impact through marketing. Her company Mission Entrepreneur is launching a social software product in 2021 that will make design and technology accessible to anyone with a social media account. This is such an inspirational conversation with Jen, Jess and Jess, for any woman who is flirting with the idea of entrepreneurship because of their heart for service, and desire to be successful in any capacity in which they put their hands to.To find out more about Jen Griswold visit: the show (
After the birth of her daughter, Ilsa Manning left the fragrance industry to focus on her family. After a dinner with girlfriends, Ilsa came home one night with the realization that while her time with her daughter was finite, her potential to model what she was capable of as a mother, a woman, an entrepreneur was in fact not finite- but that the possibilities for what her life could become, was INFINITE. Ilsa candidly shares how she created her fragrance line in 2015- and the outpouring of inspiration and challenges she came up against as an entrepreneur, but the mindset of "just keep going" and how it has turned into this beautiful company that empowers women, donates funds to Girls on the Run. A little bit of education on how fragrance creation works, and industry insider tips, a whole lotta women supporting women power, and gobs of inspiration- this is a really uplifting episode that will make you look at your perfume differently, and yourself as infinite.Meet Ilsa!There are no limits at Ilsa Fragrances. Here, we are about encouraging inspiration and beauty through thoughtful, unique creations that empower you to do and be whatever you dream. And as dreams begin when we are children, Ilsa Fragrances donates 5% of net proceeds to Girls on the Run, a nonprofit for girls' empowerment. After the birth of my first daughter, life handed me the opportunity to combine my knowledge, skills and dreams to create Ilsa Fragrances, a company that encourages women to believe in themselves, no matter what obstacle they face. I lacked this all important self belief until my daughter’s arrival in my life. My desire to be the best person I could be for her gave me the confidence I needed to finally pursue my dreams. By taking action and creating Ilsa Fragrances, I hope to teach my daughter, and her little sister, that their capabilities are infinite and that if they can imagine it, they can do it. So to you, to my daughters, and to myself, I say:Never mind the sky – there is no limit! the show (
From dinners and homework to holiday card photos and summer vacations, Nikki DeBartolo and Ben Heldfond have created a tight-knit, enviable family. They work and play well together, from the smallest daily tasks to the biggest life events—and it only took a divorce to get them there. Though their marriage has been over for over a decade, they still share a happy life with each other and their son Asher, along with their spouses and children.The Two Jess(es) sit down with Nikki and Ben and witness this phenomenon first hand. Two people who are self-aware enough to realize they "got the path of being in love and loving each other mixed up," in itself is incredible, but to hear them speak of their commitment and respect for their son, and how putting him first became the only thing that mattered, is not only inspiring, but an important example for parents everywhere- married or divorced.To find out more about Ben and Nikki's experience you can go to and read their book: the show (
In celebration of the diversity and accomplishments that have taken place in the LGBQTIA community amidst so much historical adversity and discrimination, the Two Jess(es) have the extreme privilege of sitting down with one of the most thought-provoking journalists working today.  Hari Ziyad, author of  Black Boy Out of Time, candidly shares their experience of growing up Black and queer in America—and in a blended family as one of nineteen children. In BLACK BOY OUT OF TIME, Hari Ziyad recalls their childhood with a Hindu Hare Krsna mother and a Muslim father in Cleveland, Ohio, and navigating the equally complex path toward finding their true self in New York City. Exploring childhood, gender, race, and the trust that is built, broken, and repaired through generations, Ziyad investigates what it means to live beyond the limited narratives Black children are given and challenges the irreconcilable binaries that restrict them.This is a conversation that really digs into Hari's experience as a young, queer, Black, non-binary human who is brave enough to share their stories and how they show up in the world authentically in order to honor their past, present and future in a way that advocates, educates and celebrates.Meet Hari:Hari Ziyad is a screenwriter, the bestselling author of Black Boy Out of Time (Little A, 2021) and the Editor-in-Chief of RaceBaitr. They received their BFA from New York University, where they concentrated in Film and Television and Psychology. Their work is informed by their passion for storytelling, and wrestling with identity as a Cleveland, Ohio-born Black, non-binary child of Muslim and Hindu parents.​They are a 2021 Lambda Literary Fellow, and their writing has been featured in Gawker, Out, The Guardian, Huffington Post, Ebony, Mic, Paste Magazine, AFROPUNK, in the peer-reviewed academic journal Critical Ethnic Studies, and in the anthology co–edited by Michael Dumas, Ashley Woodson and Carl Grant entitled The Future is Black: Afropessimism, Fugitivity and Radical Hope in Education, among other publications. They are also a script consultant on the drama series David Makes Man (OWN), a columnist (and the former Managing Editor) of Black Youth Project, and an Assistant Editor of Vinyl Poetry & Prose. the show (
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