You Are Not Broken

Episode 396: Hope Is Not a Strategy — Dr. Marty Klein on Communication, Masculinity, and What Makes Sex SatisfyingWhat if the biggest obstacle in your sex life isn’t your body? What if it’s your expectations?This week I sit down with sex therapist Dr. Marty Klein for a wide-ranging conversation about communication, intimacy, and what actually happens in a sex therapist’s office. We start with ego. When it drives the conversation, we listen to respond instead of to understand, and then we wonder why we feel disconnected. Marty also shares what he sees in his Silicon Valley practice, where a culture built on optimization and problem-solving shapes how people approach intimacy. We talk about people turning to AI for relationship advice. It’s convenient, and it might simplify things. But it can’t replace the depth of a real human connection, and it may just tell your ego what it wants to hear.Then we get into sexual function. Expectations play a huge role in erectile dysfunction, and good therapy starts by asking a simple question: what do you actually want? Marty explains why defining a “satisfying sexual event” matters so much, especially for older adults looking for intimacy. His blunt reminder: hope alone is not a treatment plan.We also take on modern masculinity. We talk about the manosphere, the anger many young men are carrying, and why anger is not an effective way to attract a partner. Many young men feel isolated and are struggling with the social skills dating requires. Early wounds to masculinity can shape a man’s confidence for decades, and Marty explains why men often have a harder time recovering from them than women. We close with trauma, relaxation, and the body. Relaxation matters more than intensity. Sex is an idea as much as a physical act. And you can have a full, rich life without being defined by what happened to you.In this episode, we talk about:How ego undermines communication, and the habit of listening to respond instead of to understandActive listening, open-ended questions, and validating feelingsHow Silicon Valley’s culture shapes the way people approach intimacyAI as a relationship advisor: what it offers, and what it can’t replaceWhat sex therapists actually do, and why they help with non-sexual relationship problems tooThe role of expectations in erectile dysfunctionWhy defining a “satisfying sexual event” is central to sex therapyThe unique challenges older adults face in finding intimacyWhy therapy should focus on what clients want to achieve, and why hope alone is not a strategyWhy understanding the context of sexual dysfunction is essentialThe manosphere, and why anger doesn’t attract partnersIsolation and the social skills deficit many young men face in datingThe long-lasting effects of early wounds to masculinityHow trauma affects identity and recoveryReconnecting with your body for a more fulfilling sex lifeWhy relaxation matters more than intensitySex as an idea, not just a physical actBuilding a fulfilling life after traumahttps://www.instagram.com/doctormartykleinhttps://www.youtube.com/c/DrMartyKlein1Dr. Klein's Book "Sexual Intelligence"As always, this podcast is for educational purposes and is not a substitute for individualized medical advice — talk to your own doctor about your own health.Subscribe, leave a review, and share this episode with someone who needs it.🎙️ You Are Not Broken is available on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, and wherever you listen.⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Take my ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Adult Sex Ed Master Class:⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠My Website⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Interested in my sexual health and hormone clinic? ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Clinic is OpenListen to this podcast on Pinnacle to earn CMEThanks to our sponsor: Addyi, the little pink pill. To find out if Addyi is right for you, go to addyi.com/notbroken and use code NOTBROKEN for a $10 telemedicine appointment.And great news: with commercial insurance coverage Addyi is as little as $20 a month! Visit Addyi.com/notbroken. Eligible patients only. Restrictions apply. See Full Prescribing Information including Boxed Warning at addyi.com/piThis episode is sponsored by Joi and Blokes.If you’ve been wondering whether hormones could be playing a role in how you feel, Joi and Blokes can help you get answers. Start with comprehensive lab testing, then work with a licensed clinician to understand your results and discuss treatment options that may be right for you.Visit JoiAndBlokes.com/notbroken and use code NOTBROKEN for 65% off labs and 20% off treatment.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Vibrator 101: Everything You Wanted to Know, But Were Too Embarrassed to AskUse code "notbroken20" at elixirplay.com for 20% offDr. Kelly Casperson explores vibrator basics through anatomy, blood flow, arousal, and pleasure. She discusses why sex education often misses important information about women’s bodies, reviews research on vibrator use, demonstrates different toy styles, and answers audience questions about squirting, pain, prolapse, and beginner-friendly options.The conversation emphasizes education over shame: understanding the clitoris, allowing time for arousal, and seeing vibrators as one possible tool for sexual wellbeing—not a replacement for a partner or a one-size-fits-all solution.Key topicsHow blood flow relates to genital arousal and sexual functionThe clitoris, the primary organ of orgasm for most women, and how it relates to the vaginaHow desire can be responsive and emerge during or after arousalWhy arousal matters before penetration, particularly when pain or low hormones are involvedThe G spot as a sensitive area associated with clitoral anatomyWater-based, silicone-based, and oil-based lubricantsResearch on vibrator use and sexual function, satisfaction, and pelvic healthKelly’s HEAL framework: hormones, education, arousal and vibration, and lube and moisturizersDifferent vibrator styles and considerations when choosing oneMyths about numbness, replacing partners, or becoming “addicted” to vibratorsAudience questions about squirting, prolapse, clitoral hood fusion, pain after orgasm, and antidepressantsAs always, this podcast is for educational purposes and is not a substitute for individualized medical advice — talk to your own doctor about your own health.Subscribe, leave a review, and share this episode with someone who needs it.🎙️ You Are Not Broken is available on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, and wherever you listen.⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Take my ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Adult Sex Ed Master Class:⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠My Website⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Interested in my sexual health and hormone clinic? ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Clinic is OpenListen to this podcast on Pinnacle to earn CMEThanks to our sponsor: Addyi, the little pink pill. To find out if Addyi is right for you, go to addyi.com/notbroken and use code NOTBROKEN for a $10 telemedicine appointment.And great news: with commercial insurance coverage Addyi is as little as $20 a month! Visit Addyi.com/notbroken. Eligible patients only. Restrictions apply. See Full Prescribing Information including Boxed Warning at addyi.com/piThis episode is sponsored by Joi and Blokes.If you’ve been wondering whether hormones could be playing a role in how you feel, Joi and Blokes can help you get answers. Start with comprehensive lab testing, then work with a licensed clinician to understand your results and discuss treatment options that may be right for you.Visit JoiAndBlokes.com/notbroken and use code NOTBROKEN for 65% off labs and 20% off treatment.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Episode 394 – Dr. Susan MacDonald on Testicular Pain, Pelvic Floor Dysfunction, and Rebuilding Life After Stage 4 Breast CancerNormal scan. Normal labs. Still in pain. Now what?Dr. Casperson is joined by fellow urologist Dr. Susan MacDonald for a conversation that starts with male pelvic pain and ends somewhere much more personal. They discuss why men with testicular pain are so often dismissed, how chronic pain gets mislabeled, and why pelvic floor dysfunction and referred pain get missed again and again.Then Dr. MacDonald shares her own story. She was diagnosed with de novo stage 4 bilateral breast cancer after missing her own early symptoms, and she describes what it's like to go from surgeon to patient. She talks openly about fatigue, grief, hormonal changes, and the career pivot she never chose. She also explains why she now wants to help patients move beyond survival mode toward resilience and joy.In this episode:How Dr. MacDonald found urology by accident (Grand Rounds, free pizza, and the realization that it's a surgical specialty)Why male reconstruction and urethroplasty won her overWhat urethral strictures are, and why tissue from inside the cheek is used to repair themHow common testicular and pelvic pain is. She estimates about 5% of urology consults.Why chronic pain is harder to treat than a kidney stone, and why normal imaging doesn't mean the pain isn't realThe harm of forcing a diagnosis, and patients carrying "heavy bricks in a backpack" of labelsThinking through a differential diagnosis out loud, with the patient as a partnerPlacebo effects, and why antibiotics can seem to help even when infection isn't the causePelvic floor dysfunction as the missing center of the Venn diagram, and the value of working with pelvic floor physical therapistsHer stage 4 breast cancer diagnosis, and how surgeons are trained to ignore their own bodiesLiving through treatment: fatigue, insomnia, arthritis, hormonal changes, and griefWhy leaving full-time academic surgery was forced, not voluntary, and her pivot into video education and speakingSex after cancer, and why the messaging for men and women is so differentTart cherry juice and hot flashesDr. MacDonald Linked InAs always, this podcast is for educational purposes and is not a substitute for individualized medical advice — talk to your own doctor about your own health.Subscribe, leave a review, and share this episode with someone who needs it.🎙️ You Are Not Broken is available on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, and wherever you listen.⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Take my ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Adult Sex Ed Master Class:⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠My Website⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Interested in my sexual health and hormone clinic? ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Clinic is OpenListen to this podcast on Pinnacle to earn CMEThanks to our sponsor: Addyi, the little pink pill. To find out if Addyi is right for you, go to addyi.com/notbroken and use code NOTBROKEN for a $10 telemedicine appointment.And great news: with commercial insurance coverage Addyi is as little as $20 a month! Visit Addyi.com/notbroken. Eligible patients only. Restrictions apply. See Full Prescribing Information including Boxed Warning at addyi.com/piThis episode is sponsored by Joi and Blokes.If you’ve been wondering whether hormones could be playing a role in how you feel, Joi and Blokes can help you get answers. Start with comprehensive lab testing, then work with a licensed clinician to understand your results and discuss treatment options that may be right for you.Visit JoiAndBlokes.com/notbroken and use code NOTBROKEN for 65% off labs and 20% off treatment.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Dr. Casperson is joined by Dr. Rebbecca Hertel, DO, MSCP, for a candid conversation about getting stronger through perimenopause and beyond. They talk about how hormonal shifts change training, recovery, and body composition. They also cover why bone health deserves your attention now, and how to read research and lab results with a critical eye.Along the way, Dr. Hertel explains what osteopathic medicine actually is. She also shares why your pain might not be coming from where you feel it. The two dig into protein, GLP-1s, testosterone, and hormone therapy, and why finding a clinician who listens matters as much as any prescription.In this episode:What osteopathic medicine and osteopathic manipulative treatment (OMT) involveWhy pain can show up somewhere other than its sourceHow perimenopause affects muscle, recovery, sleep, and body compositionWhy gaining muscle in midlife takes longer, and why it's still worth itBone health, fracture prevention, and the case for resistance trainingProtein, hydration, and fueling your body during weight lossGLP-1 medications and strategies to help preserve muscleHormone approaches in perimenopause and postmenopauseWhy hormone therapy is not contraceptionTestosterone: symptoms, side effects, and how to think about lab resultsHealth span, independence, and prevention across the lifespanHormone stigma and the need for better education at puberty, postpartum, and midlifeDr. Hertel's IGDr Hertel's WebsiteAs always, this podcast is for educational purposes and is not a substitute for individualized medical advice — talk to your own doctor about your own health.Subscribe, leave a review, and share this episode with someone who needs it.🎙️ You Are Not Broken is available on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, and wherever you listen.⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Take my ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Adult Sex Ed Master Class:⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠My Website⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Interested in my sexual health and hormone clinic? ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Clinic is OpenListen to this podcast on Pinnacle to earn CMEThanks to our sponsor: Addyi, the little pink pill. To find out if Addyi is right for you, go to addyi.com/notbroken and use code NOTBROKEN for a $10 telemedicine appointment.And great news: with commercial insurance coverage Addyi is as little as $20 a month! Visit Addyi.com/notbroken. Eligible patients only. Restrictions apply. See Full Prescribing Information including Boxed Warning at addyi.com/piThis episode is sponsored by Joi and Blokes.If you’ve been wondering whether hormones could be playing a role in how you feel, Joi and Blokes can help you get answers. Start with comprehensive lab testing, then work with a licensed clinician to understand your results and discuss treatment options that may be right for you.Visit JoiAndBlokes.com/notbroken and use code NOTBROKEN for 65% off labs and 20% off treatment.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Episode 392 – When in Menopause: Advocacy, Policy, and the Power of Speaking UpWho gets to be a menopause advocate? You do. You probably already are.Dr. Casperson sits down with Jennifer Weiss-Wolf, a lawyer, women's leadership leader at NYU Law, and author of When in Menopause: A User's Manual and Citizen's Guide. Jennifer helped drive the fast, bipartisan wins in period policy. Now she's applying those lessons to menopause, and she's honest about why this one is harder.They cover where the policy wins are coming from, what still blocks progress, and why workplace perks miss the point. They also talk about why the real work is bigger than any one issue. If you're a clinician, an advocate, or just someone who wants to make change without a big platform, this one is for you.In this episode:How Jennifer moved from menstruation policy to menopause around 2020. It started with a friend's question about the policy landscape, not with her own symptoms.Advocacy as a choose-your-own-adventure. Legislative language, storytelling, and community-building all count.What period policy taught her about state-level wins and working across the aisle.Why menopause reform is more complicated than it looks. Decades of neglected science and deeply interconnected issues make it hard. She describes the field as organic rather than fractured.Language, stigma, and culture. How do you change policy when people still can't say "vagina" in public or on social media?Why most workplace accommodations fall short. Many are too small, too generic, or built on a weak understanding of menopause. Protections also have to come before anyone asks employees to disclose.The legal gap. The U.S. has no clear anti-discrimination protection for menopause. The ADA, pregnancy protections, and age-discrimination law help in some cases, but they leave holes.What actually moves the needle: access, research funding, clinician education and training, and reimbursement reform. Business leaders should fund these upstream fixes instead of offering superficial perks.Clinicians already have a platform. Patient visits, office materials, and staff handouts all spread accurate information, and small repeated messages add up.Community is the engine. Jennifer's examples include gyms, book clubs, schools, libraries, and PTAs. Midlife women are an underestimated political and social force.Jennifer's IGJennifer's New BookAs always, this podcast is for educational purposes and is not a substitute for individualized medical advice — talk to your own doctor about your own health.Subscribe, leave a review, and share this episode with someone who needs it.🎙️ You Are Not Broken is available on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, and wherever you listen.⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Take my ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Adult Sex Ed Master Class:⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠My Website⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Interested in my sexual health and hormone clinic? ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Clinic is OpenListen to this podcast on Pinnacle to earn CMEThanks to our sponsor: Addyi, the little pink pill. To find out if Addyi is right for you, go to addyi.com/notbroken and use code NOTBROKEN for a $10 telemedicine appointment.And great news: with commercial insurance coverage Addyi is as little as $20 a month! Visit Addyi.com/notbroken. Eligible patients only. Restrictions apply. See Full Prescribing Information including Boxed Warning at addyi.com/piThis episode is sponsored by Joi and Blokes.If you’ve been wondering whether hormones could be playing a role in how you feel, Joi and Blokes can help you get answers. Start with comprehensive lab testing, then work with a licensed clinician to understand your results and discuss treatment options that may be right for you.Visit JoiAndBlokes.com/notbroken and use code NOTBROKEN for 65% off labs and 20% off treatment.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.