DiscoverStop Drinking and Start Living
Stop Drinking and Start Living
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Stop Drinking and Start Living

Author: Mary Wagstaff

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Fed up with not being able to trust yourself around alcohol? Sick of the hangxiety killing your confidence to commit to that next level goal? Changing your relationship to alcohol isn’t just about NOT drinking, it’s a sacred journey of rediscovering WHO YOU ARE on the other side of alcohol. No matter what kind of relationship you want with alcohol, there is always room for more awareness, this is where we start. From the daily mind drama of deciding to drink or not to drink, only to break your own heart again, to the days lost from the effects of alcohol...If you have been hearing a call from your higher self, that it’s time for a change, but you are confused on the what and how, Holistic Alcohol Mentor and Coach, Mary Wagstaff, is here to walk you through the threshold of the next phase of your life where alcohol becomes irrelevant.She ended a 20 year relationship with alcohol without labels, counting days or ever making excuses and is helping her clients do the same. In this podcast we will explore her revolutionary approach to getting alcohol out of your way that breaks all the rules, life enhancing tools you can implement now, so YOU can stop drinking and start LIVING the life you were made for! This show is not a substitute for rehabilitation, medical treatment or advice. Please talk to a health professional if your alcohol consumption is a risk to your mental/physical health or others. Schedule a call with Mary to find out more about her 1:1 coaching mentorship. Taking your last sip isn't' the first step, saying YES to YOU is.
70 Episodes
How can the thing that causes you so much pain, also be the same thing you can't imagine living without?Breaking promises to yourself on the daily? Your not happy with the relationship you have with alcohol, but you are always giving in to your desires and can't imagine life without it? End the drama by making a choice to UNDERSTAND WHY this is happening. This is a 100% normal, you or your brain are not broken. It is simply that you haven't practiced how to process emotions. Every time you have had a specific emotion in the past, subconsciously, you have responded with a drink.You may not consciously KNOW, this is how you are solving for an emotion, and it doesn't even have to be a negative one.The act of drinking isn't the problem. It is getting comfortable with first being with an emotion and proving to yourself that a drink doesn't change your circumstances, it just masks the emotion. As a reflection for self inquiry this week:What would your life look like without alcohol?What benefits to you gain from alcohol that you aren't capable of creating your own?When you have the urge to drink, or it's time to decide: Ask yourself: What emotion am I experiencing right now? What are the sensations in my body that it is producing?To change anything in your life: You have to start making decisions you feel good about, that is the only thing that makes it "the right time".Schedule your complimentary alignment session HERE
Ep. #62 Remembrance

Ep. #62 Remembrance


This week we talk about the felt sense of remembrance.  Different from the yearning of nostalgia, remembrance is the homecoming that reminds us of who we are truly outside of story. Alcohol covers this sentiment up from us. Remembrance is a subtle knowing of deep peace and being that only exists when we observe the mind from the place of unconditional love, rather than attach to thoughts based on fear. FIND FREEDOM FROM ALCOHOL BEFORE 2021: LIVE CLASS SUNDAY DECEMBER 6TH, 2020 11AM PST! REGISTER HERELEARN MY REVOLUTIONARY 5 SHIFTS APPROACH TO DRINKING LESS FOREVERIf you have a love/hate relationship with alcohol you may feel like you have 2 options: 1) Resign to a life of drinking, anxiety and sluggishness.2) Quit drinking and live in shame, boredom and deprivation forever.I would like to invite you to consider the third option...3) Find freedom from alcohol by dropping the judgment, getting curious, and deciding ahead of time all of your results in life.Feel amazing and inspired about what's to come, because you know a new way to solve for alcohol getting in your way.You CAN feel confident that you have a perfect plan for your drinking that you decided ahead of time and feel great about.In this class, you will take away the exact process and tools I teach my clients
Chasing the BUZZ of Nostalgia is one of the BIGGEST obstacle to accept and understand when you explore your reationship to alcohol or stop drinking.  This concept is what keeps so many people in deprivation AFTER they stop drinking. It's like they are living under a spell of what alcohol NEVER WAS, but they can't snap out of it, why? Because they didn't have me as their coach! LOL. Seriously.  The nostalgia of alcohol  is actually an error in the human brain that makes NO sense. It goes to show you just how STRONG of a concentrated reward the alcohol is to make the brain completely ERASE all of the painful things about alcohol, and only remember the carols and laughter. You are in for a wild ride. Schedule your free alignment session with Mary HERE
10. BEEN THERE, DONE THAT. ALCOHOL ISN’T GOING ANYWHERE, It will never be more amazing than it was the last time you drink. The alcohol doesn’t create the experience, YOU DO! Alcohol doesn’t evolve into something more sophisticated or more enlightened. You’ve done it all at this point.9. BOOST YOUR IMMUNITY8. KEEP YOUR INHIBITIONS IN CHECK7. BE THE EMOTIONALLY STABLE ONE FOR OTHERS WHO MAY NEED SUPPORT6. LEAD BY EXAMPLE (take the high road, step out of judgment into curiosity. You can love AND tell the truth) generate a list of questions that take the focus off of you. 5. SAVE YOUR ENERGY (future focus for that evening, the next day and into the week)4. EXPLORE CURIOSITY (whats your experience with your food, the music, your body etc…?)3. CREATE A NEW RITUAL: 2020 IS ALL ABOUT OUT WITH THE OLDTRADITIONS ARE ONLY USEFUL IF THEY ARE SUPPORTIVE OF EVOLUTION.WE DON’T JUST DO SOMETHING BECAUSE OUR GRANDPARENTS DID.2. FIND THE REAL MEANING OF THIS SEASON (hint: it’s not about getting wasted and missing the whole thing, you might as well just take a nap!)1.HONOR YOUR TRUTH: “Your intuition is guiding you towards your highest good for your highest good”. Laura AszmanSchedule a free alignment session with Mary HEREHula Hoop Instructor Laura Aszman on  Ep. #39 
Today we talk about Alcohol as a rite of passage into adulthood. Alcohol as a rite of passage is completely void of the tools necessary to step into the future as independent  & connected to our feminine power of emotional intelligence and embodied intuition.We need to embrace and embody these aspects to become sovereign Women, claiming personal responsibility and moving through limitations with excitement to meet the challenge, rather than fear of failure.  Honoring your life with the sacred journey of Dismantling Alcohol, and Sobriety, is the rites of passage you and only you can claim for your self to what this life and your growth mean and represent.Email Mary with Questions for the show: Mary@marywagsaffcoach.comSchedule your free alignment call with Mary HERE
Today's show is a live mini training about my 5 Simple Shifts to end the confusion around alcohol, drink less and reclaim your power. You can start applying these shifts NOW. I speak to what alcohol coaching is: A sacred container for you to explore who you are in relationship to alcohol. Different than ever before. Schedule your Free Alignment Session with Mary HEREEmail Mary with any questions:
Ep. #57 Not Wanting It

Ep. #57 Not Wanting It


Today we pose the question: What do you really want your relationship with alcohol to look like and why? It's good to start with a question to start to understand the process of what you want. I review the 5 shifts to  getting alcohol out of your way that I teach my clients. I also give you the recipe to my favorite holiday elixir also. For Podcast Inquiries: mary@marywagstaffcoach.comSchedule your Free Alignment session with Mary HERE!
Ep.#56 Postponement

Ep.#56 Postponement


Looking to the window of the future of "what if". Throughs the sense of fear or love, but never taking that leap of faith, keeps you in a feeling of stickiness. Postponement results in never being in a state of expansiveness of moving towards a brighter future on the other side of a deprivation free life. Alcohol holds an illusion of freedom, that as you know is slowing fading, in fact, it is the thing keeping you in deprivation of living life to the fullest.I mention the Netflix series: The Queens Gambit. An amazing showcase on the dullness of life alcohol and drugs steal from you. Schedule your free alignment call with Mary HEREWrite in your questions or comments to to be shared on the show 100% anonymously. Put in the subject line: Podcast
Ep. #55 Abundantly You

Ep. #55 Abundantly You


Today we explore how to create change from a place of abundance. How to look at changing your relationship with alcohol as gaining more, rather than loosing. Gaining more of you, your inner light and your unique expression. The concept of lack and poverty is a construct created by systems that power over. Life it's self is innately abundant, and so are you!Schedule your free alignment session HERE!
Everyone has their own definition of what spirit means to them in their lives, amongst the differences, the common factor is the innate state of perfection that Spirit is. Awakening to Sprit, is in the how,  we lead our lives. That no matter how tough times are, we are grounded in the unflinching faith that living through spirit is a means of a more joyful life. The habit of drinking in essence, is stating, there is something about this life, this moment, yourself, that should be different than it is. Drinking is aiming to make that which is  already perfect and whole, different. Which is where we actually create lack where there is already abundance and the illusion of their being error. Schedule a call with Mary HERE to find more about her 1:1 coaching mentorship. It takes all of the guess work from out of the HOW, and meets you where you are at, and then go next level!
Today I interview, intuitive Eating Coach Tiffany Thoen. Not only does she have an inspiring journey of recovering from alcohol at a young age, but her take on,"breaking free", of the stigmas and rules around quitting drinking, outside of the 12 step model, and living an alcohol free life, are right in line with the message of my work. We speak to the rising of the divine feminine in our culture through the evolution of emotional intelligence for all beings. It is the invitation to become more fully who we are, that makes the need for alcohol, less. Currently, she takes this same approach in to her Intuitive Eating Coaching practice, helping people find freedom and joy in their relationship to food. Tiffany's Group Intuitive Eating Program Begins: November 18th 2020 Sign Up: HERETiffany on FB Talk to Mary about her 1:1 Holistic Alcohol Coaching Mentorship Program HERE
Do you ever stop to ask yourself, how will I know when I have arrived, that moment where I can be at peace and I have made it? What if THIS is the moment? How would you know? Alcohol has a way of keeping you ANYWHERE but the present moment, which is the only place where true peace can exist. Either we are nostalgic about the subjective past of the "good old days", or terrified of the future yet to be told. Every moment is the opportunity to experience the fruits of your labor, until you step into that place of the compassionate witness, you will never be honouring you, and your life as it is in this moment, alcohol will always win the illusion of better. Today, you get the change to hear me interview on the Podcast The Evolutionary, by David Knox. My journey evolving past alcohol and my passion for helping Women find freedom on the other side of their desire.Please check out and Subscribe to David's Amazing Show HERE! Remember, taking your last sip isn't your first step! Schedule a time to talk about my 1:1 Coaching mentorship HERE
Ep. #51 Blind Beliefs

Ep. #51 Blind Beliefs


Today we explore how your story about alcohol is not the based on TRUE facts. It is based on repetitive thinking and proving the same limiting thoughts true over and over again, through practice and evidence in the outer world. There is a good reason for these beliefs. In some ways they have served you and even protected you.How your current beliefs around alcohol are preventing you from finding a solution to the problem of alcohol getting in the way of living your best life.Schedule a call to find out more about 1:1 Coaching Click HERE
Learn how to stop drinking alcohol and honor your wisdom. An illusionist uses smoke and mirrors to make something appear different than it really is. It tricks your mind, alters your perceptions. But when the smoke clears, you can see, nothing has changed, you are left right where you stared. Or maybe in a worse place because now, you have to manage the consequences. Of not showing up the way you really want to in life. Learn how the elements of thought, emotion, action, body and spirit are out of balance, why it's so hard to SEE when you are in it, and how to get them back to where you can BREATH again. Today the show turns 50! And we couldn't feel better. Good things happen with age. You learn from mistakes and improve your excellence. Start at 80-% good, to get going, this is the only way to learn. Schedule a time to end the daily mind drama about alcohol NOW: 1:1 coaching HERE
Learn how to stop drinking alcohol and honor your wisdom. Trigger warning: into's show we speak to childhood trauma and abuse. In today's show we hear from Relationship Specialist and Coach, Julia Phoenix of her heroines journey from childhood abuse and addiction to reclaiming her power through shadow and inner child work and understanding her limiting beliefs and patterns of what was possible in her intimate and personal relationships.   We talk about the darker side of alcohol and how it take our agency of conscious choice away from us.  She teaches us that sometimes addictive behaviors can actually be a survival mechanism and to offer compassion through your process of healing is the integral piece. Find out more about how to work with Julia HEREThank you Julia! Schedule a time to end the daily mind drama about alcohol NOW: 1:1 coaching HERE
When was the last time you said yes for the first time? This is such a great question to ask yourself, for inspiration, for motivation, to remember your hearts desires. When we say YES to something NEW, we change the brain patterning and this is how WE change. When you say NO to alcohol, you have two choices, sit in deprivation and shame, or say YES to something for the first time alcohol free.  When you evaluate all of the things you normally do in a year with alcohol, you can get inspired by stepping into curiosity of what can I gain from this experience that is more in line with the Woman I am becoming? Cross of the list the things you would NEVER do unless you were drinking and add a NEW FIRST YES! Dive into your imagination creating the image of the Woman who effortlessly shows up never needing or wanting alcohol. All from a place of self love and respect for your growth. When you are ready to apply this work to your life with support schedule a time to find out more about my 1:1 Coaching program HEREMy Weekend First Yeses!POWER Live on lineDAY BREAKER D.O.S.ESACRED LOTUS YONI GEM INITION
In today's episode I am going to teach you the 4 essential steps for how to move through a craving for alcohol with grace, compassion and growth. We must bring what has been unconscious, conscious. The subconscious habits and thoughts into the light. First, you must commit to taking drinking off the table for the week, without any big deal or drama, but ADDING this process to start to shift your mindset around the habit.Find a thought that works for you to commit: For example:"I can drink whenever I want, today I am choosing growth."Brainstorm ahead of time your:1: Normal Triggers (times, circumstances when you drink)2: Reasons why (these are you desire thoughts) I like it. I need to relax. Don't censor these thoughts.4 Steps To Interrupt A Craving: (in real time)#1: Become aware: What is the specific triggers. (time of day, person...)#2: Get curious: What is the thought/why are you desiring it? #3 Be compassionate: What is the emotion and the sensations in the body? (if strong emotion see ep #42 for how to process an overwhelming emotion)THIS IS WHERE YOU STOP AND PAUSE (INTERRUPT!)#4: Growth through Grace: Breath, relax, feel, watch, allow.Become the witness and watch the craving have a beginning, middle and end.Inhale:This is a moment of frustration (insert your emotion)Exhale: everyone experiences frustration.Create some thoughts to get you inspire to stick to Interrupting a Craving Rather than resisting it."I can plan my life on purpose." I choose to be present for change and growth." "Life doesn't just happen to me, I decide."#5 Take all of this work NEXT LEVEL and sign up for 1:1 coaching. Schedule a time to find out more HERE.
In today’s Episode I show you that taking your last sip, isn't the first step. I teach you the step by step process I used and teach my clients to FAIL FORWARD and make the most of your failed attempts at quitting drinking. You can walk away with more awareness of your mind, the habit and how to actually unlearn drinking rather than strengthening your desire with shame, regret and false beliefs. The first step is the hardest, it’s saying yes to yourself. Once you commit to never giving up on yourself, there’s nothing you can’t do. Schedule a time to talk with Mary about your experience HERE.Email me any insights or Questions mary@marywagstaffcoach.com1: Make the VOW: From this Day forward: I want you to promise me, to VOW, you will never, ever again beat yourself up for drinking when you said you wouldn’t.In fact, stop telling yourself, today I’m not drinking.I...(beautiful listener of stop drinking and start living), solemnly vow, to get to the bottom of my drinking habit. I am taking the conversation to drink or not to drink off the plate.I am giving myself permission to drink without shame, BUT with the caveat that I will follow Mary’s formula if I do. I will fail forward, I will truly LEARN from my mistakes through observation and evaluation and with compassion, NOT shame. When you start this part, make sure to look at it like you are experiencing if for the first time, from a neutral curiosity. 2:Observe the circumstance: What are the very specific situations in which you desire a drink? (It's Monday and all my "work" is done.)3: What is the REASON? The ONE THOUGHT? For example, A beer sounds good. 4: What was the EMOTION you felt before the drink? 5: How did this emotion FEEL in my Body as SENSATIONS?6: Describe the first drink with your senses?7: How did your emotion change?8: How did your sensations change? What was the physical result of drinking?9:What happened while you were drinking? What did you do or not do?10: Evaluate how you felt after. What was your emotion and feelings in the body?11: Note how much you drank and what.12: What was the most useful observation?
Today we dive into the wisdom of the womb, the sacred medicine of the earth Herself and how to access the deep remembrance of who you are. Certified vaginal steam therapist and founder of Sacred Lotus Yoni Steam, Sabrina Vedete, teaches us how to heal our cycle with the wisdom of nature. We explore how to access your truth and divine essence that alcohol has been covering up through the practice of embodiment and self care rituals. By paying attention to our bodies wisdom we cultivate self trust, safety and become a vessel for the creative solutions we need to show up to life, our loved ones and ourselves, from a place of unconditional love, compassion, courage and REAL pleasure. Use code MARY at Sabrina's yoni boutique for 20% off all products and to sign up for Sacred Yoni Gem Initiation, Beginning October 16th to October 23rd. It will be a great addition to diving into your Sober October.Sacred Lotus Yoni Steam WebsiteInstagramFacebookSchedule your alignment session with Mary HERE
We live in cycles and rhythms, although we don’t pay attention to them or understand how to really utilize our own personal rhythms as the doorway to cultivating the self trust and personal empowerment we need to change our relationship to alcohol. It’s also how we understand the art of allowing change, rather than just quitting and trying to keep the rest of our life the same. It doesn’t work that way. There is a revealing to you, on a deeper level that needs to be understood when you change your relationship to alcohol. Not simply the act of drinking, that is why it doesn’t work. That is why it isn’t over night. You aren’t just resisting changing alcohol, you are resisting the implications of what that means.  It is the Fall Equinox and it is a PERFECT time to reflect on the summer. What worked, what didn’t and what you would like to be different in a future full of infinite possibilities. Any one who schedules an alignment session with me from now until October 1st, a beautiful practice I offer my 1:1 clients for creating their intentions for the next season, to really step into next level possibility. There is also a wonderful guided emotional intimacy practice I will send.  You can use this pause to shift into trying a sober october from the perspective of allowing change rather than quitting. Schedule An Alignment Session with Mary HEREPS: Please subscribe, share and drop a 5 star raiting, so other Women, life yourself, can start to find the inpiration and support they need. Thank you. 
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